Rethinking.

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Perhaps one might suggest a retooling, as well.  I saw something, recently, that has me experimenting with life.  A number of recommendations, regarding function and obtaining it, was presented.  To my mind, it seemed believable.  Among them, don't start out with coffee.  Start out with water.  Yes, it was mostly inclusive to my standards, including coffee.  Though tea would work as well, I suspect.  It goes something like this.  First thing, drink water.  It kicks your body over and hydrates from sleep.  Then breakfast.  Be sure to eat.  Coffee isn't consumed until mid-"morning".  Being that my mid-morning happens to be at about 22:30, at the moment, so be it.  There are a number of other recommendations.  I actually plan to attempt to follow the advice, give or take, for a while, and see if it helps.

Now, mind you, being mostly dead means something.  I am different.  If this set of ideas culminates in success, my version of success will not be the same level of success as for others, certainly not always.  This will no more make me function like a normal than it would make the lame walk.  There are limits.  And yet, within my capacity, this sort of thing might help me to optimize what is possible for me.  That is the trick.  Of course, there is some hope that, with baby steps, medicine, effort, and optimization, that perhaps I can go beyond even the impossible I have already stretched beyond. 

So, just now, a cup of coffee.  Oh, and their ideas of volume is a bit off.  An eight to twelve ounce glass of water might be, give or take, the sweetspot for a mundane, being twice the size, and more, of standard fleshlings, I need to... calibrate suggestions to my size.  As well, this might require a bit of fine tuning.  I may need, and want, more coffee.  I may, though, in time, find that a bit less coffee is better for function, or even that is should be variable.  Even the best, most accurate and precise, advice, must be tweaked.  And that for normals.  For others, the whole thing has to be reconsidered and weighed.  I can, will, and have already begun the process. 

Sleep was a bit better last night, with the new pillows.  I adjusted those just a bit.  While the body is ever so slightly cranky this "morning", it isn't outright stiff or sore.  And yet, I had to sleep a bit softly, adjusting on the fly.  I bet you didn't know creatures such as myself could do that.  Oh yes, I can do very odd, almost unnatural for my nature, things.  I still sometimes wonder if God didn't put a little more human into me than what I had, as a grace from our personal... covenant.  Giving up the command, desire of, or such, of the darker nature, I thought, was simply part of the terms of surrender.  He called, I contested, betting on my world view, and lost.  In losing, I surrendered.  I did not know there was any... returns other than accepting truth.  I now believe He gave much more than what I lost.  And yet He did not take all that I was, or restrict it, only restricting... some forms of it's applications, and taking the helm as for direction.  Who could have known!  Then again, why call a beast only to try to turn it into a poodle, or even a sheep?  :)

Anyway... Perhaps a trip to town soon.  I need milk, and more cream, anyway.  A few more pillows would not be terrible.  I can always use the extra pillows for various things.  Odd, for as much as I sleep, I never nap on the couches or chairs.  I am either abed, asleep, or awake.  Naps, themselves, rare as they are, are a thing for bed.  Then again, perhaps it is simply size.  I have found no couch that can embrace my form properly.  No chair, not even great chairs, fit my frame well enough that some part of my does not have to be... tended.  I can do that, in sleep, but it changes the sort of rest I may obtain.  I call it war sleep, a rest that will allow immediate action if necessary.  It's not a good sleep.

Yeah, well, whatever.  Midmorning, but I am still not quite awake.  Coffee might help.  I will carry on with my list, consider a trip to town, but for now, just attempt to wake.  Later.