Always good to talk to mom.

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I called last evening.  I suspected she was awake, but in one of those moods where answering is too much.  Right at her bedtime.  After missing her call today, but calling back when I realized it, from what she suggested, I suspect so.  No, not a complaint, just understanding.  On some days, once on the trajectory toward sleep, nothing but cataclysm and maybe not that, can interferer.  Age sets that in even more so.  I have known that, as a much older person might, for most of my adult life.  It's actually a pleasant thing, if it can be enjoyed.  The poetry of rest, and sleep, are expressed and seen in those times as in no other times.

It is good to hear the voices of those you love, to know they are well, or well enough.  Bodies get cranky as they age, as does spirit and mind from time to time.  Sharing in these too is good.  Discussing weather is a lead to other things.  My mother is a summer girl, spring and fall in there better parts.  In some ways typical, but not really.  She is as close to an outdoors woman as has been made.  Never a hunter, a fisher at times, but more just being outside.  The sun, trees, flowers, air, but more just natural.  Not biologically or botanically oriented, as a knower or seeker.  Just a lover of the outdoors, if more a fair-weather friend to it.  I can track, a bit, her future by the lay of the weather.  And the weather is looking to turn good.

Oh, my nap this morning?  It ate my day.  It might have anyway, but when it clouded up, my body globbed onto sleep the way I drink water when thirsty.  I went in at 7:30, maybe, and didn't wake until mid-afternoon... 15:30?  Sam was singing the "songs of her people", as she prepare to die from starvation.  *grins*  She can sing such a sad song, I swear.  Well, and banging on the door, like a drum accompaniment to her slow sad dirge to self.  Ah well, good to be important enough to receive a serenade?  I'll take it.

Today?  Still resting, I think.  I want to get to some things, I just don't have anything to offer.  I may take that bath I had hoped to take yesterday, and a shower.  I had the time, after missing my time, but not the heart.  Failure is not only an option, it's often all I can know.  Not a choice, a part of my reality.  If, on the good side, perhaps something to help remind me to be humble.  Yes, yes, pride.  A sin, and a thing that goes before a fall.  Not always necessary, not in my case, but... sometimes, even for one who some think should have no pride at all.  Once excess, or another, the world seems to try to demand.  I give, and take, my dues, and no more.  Excesses are handed to the One who has asked for them, if for my sake.  Odd all that, but so it is, at least as I see things.

Ugh...  A bath, then shower?  Maybe, in a bit, or not.  Ugh.  It's become a dark day.  I'll work through it anyway.  There are those who need, and have asked for... some of them, prayer.  A good day for it.  Later.