Pacing.

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The last load is in the dryer, most of the dishes have gotten a first hit, dinner has been eaten.  Now I just wait for a bit of settling, then hit it again.  Most of my clothes for the trip were sorted last night.  Shirts, cloth and tools for the kilt (and accessories), and refuse of both sorts, finishing the laundry and dishes it is hoped, and then packing what will go in the backpack (clothes, mostly, along with personal kit).  I think I can it all done tonight.

I ordered test strips for my meter.  They came without a chip.  I tinkered with it, off and on, but found no way to enter the code.  The man who brought supper thought to look into it.  Nope, he couldn't find a way either, even with instruction reading.  So I went online.  There isn't a way.  Not that I saw.  Great, so they send me useless test strips?  I knew they were getting nutty over there, but this?  I'll call tomorrow.  No real hurry quite yet.  I'm not up to full dosage on that... probably.  Still, I think that was meant to happen.  Typical thin-skinned medical passive-aggressive b.s.  Actually, placing that order?  I got a lot of feedback.  Why do want that?  I don't know if we can do it.  Yada-yada.  From a pharmacy tech?  Really?  Yeah, best to get out of the V.A. system altogether.

When I get back I will need to begin looking for a for-pay doctor.  The first thing I will ask is if they accept medicade or medicare.  Those will be scratched off the list.  Then I compare what is left.  Any doctor with government involvements is likely to be too busy with paperwork, too controlled by/devoted to bureaucracy, and potentially too incompetent for me to trust.  Government docs have a blackeye in my book, at this time.  And not just because of the V.A.  Yeah, definitely gotta get out of here.  There is much more that they could do.  And, while I could fight and win most of it, I don't want the hassle.  If you aren't willing to become a guinea pig ward of the state, do not go to a Veterans' Hospital.

I tore into one of the bags of chips yesterday.  Gosh, it's been so long.  Now I know why it has been so long.  Potato chips suck.  I liked the salt and vinegar coating, a bit.  The rest of it was like cardboard.  That is what you get from either cooking, or having your food cooked, at home, for a long time.  Processed foods taste horrid.  Meat, potatoes, milk (whole), sour cream, whole cream, maybe vegetables (the woman who often does my cooking can do them well), the rest can be left to rot.  I have to eat some of it some of the time, but sure wouldn't want to try to live on it.

Grumpy?  Oh, a bit.  Just getting the junk out before my next run.  Put it down in writing, then move on.  I keep thinking about Alaska.  The only thing that would keep me from it is probably death.  Not a bad option, if you think about it.  I even know what to expect, with the hope of more even so.  I've come a long way from that first visit.  While I might not be foolish enough to expect heaven, I might hope I am humble enough to just let go and let God, this time.  It isn't even that I changed my life, though that makes letting go easier.  It's that I realize why I changed, what I changed.  And, that I entertain life so easily, and attempt to do so rightly, but in faith, not certainty, knowledge, or strength.  I do believe I do believe.  If the rest of the people wish to live in shallow pools of ego and wit, and decry those who choose faith and humility, let them burn.  I see that they do not, and don't believe they need to, listen.  Not to me, but to God.  So be it.

Later.