At least I know what to expect.

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Another message out, before I went down.  Don't wake.  Brutal.  I wasn't able to do anything yesterday, save stay awake until about 14:00 and change.  I was hoping for a window.  I even tried to make one.  Don't even think of it, my body said.  I tried a little bit more and got bit.  Not too badly, just enough to know and back off.  Until things relax, I am sort of stuck.  Funny thing is, if you saw me on the street, you wouldn't know how much pain is right under the skin.  I'm not even sweating.  Not on the outside.  Trap me in a conversation and you'll see the whites of my eyes as I pan for an escape route.  Moving helps, if I have to be out.  Too long and it will hurt a lot.

I've not gone through something like this before.  Not in this kind of burst, at this frequency.  It's new and disturbing.  I have gone through other things, great pains, limits, and such.  I have learned patience.  I have learned to code my behavior around the problem, learn it's limits, and find paths if necessary.  And, for my life or another, I can bear much.  That I am still alive is all the proof I need of that.  You can believe as you wish.  Since I have no requirement of action, I will just juggle this problem, looking for weaknesses in it, and my own strengths, then figure it out.  Or it will pass and I can get back to things.

I am nearly into days again.  I would be if not for the migraines, probably.  I can tinker, and do, if minimally.  Tonight I am hoping to braid three 50 foot strands of 550 parachord into a solid ridgeline.  I am also hoping to hit the dishes and put at least one load of laundry through the machine.  But... that's it.  As day breaks I will see about a trip to town.  A minimal trip.  Groceries and an item pick-up.  Maybe a "free" meal, for the effort.  Efforts... rewards...  That works.  For now I am just coming down off the migraine that arrived with consciousness.  If I hold my "mind" tight, if I wrap the cords, keep focus centered, and limit imaginative jaunts or intellectual seekings to the mundane I can keep the pain contained and limited.  It works, and the thing should be passing shortly.  It's already lasted longer this morning than usual... if there isn't an exact pattern to any of it.

Later.