Getting better.

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A bit at a time.  More each day, though, I think.  I still fall back, a step or two, from time to time, though no longer falling to bottom and getting further from it.  I am pretty sure I was on the steps of a complete bodily failure.  All I would have had to do was... blink.  I guess I really am on the side of life now.  Yeah... this is going to be a long painful trip.  I'm up for it.  For now, to just find my stride in the moment.  The rest will be solved in it's due.  I... now I believe God really, certainly, backs this venture.  Not that such would make me right.  God isn't on anyone's side.  Don't delude yourself.  But if something is supposed to happen, or not, it will or won't... for good or ill.  Perhaps my end is simply supposed to be somewhere else... in a rock or snow avalanche in Alaska, that takes out the senator on the lead to develop a government program that will initiate an unstable a.i. which would, if allowed to exist, do the same thing my flesh kin were meant to do... though for Christ 2.0.  Not just sully the line, but end it this time... so as to keep the world for Satan and family.  Though, most likely, it's just as evidence that, yes, you can... with faith and true God, face... anything.  That's... it.  I wouldn't have ever in my life thought so, but I think that is enough for the cost of admission, and will dutifully, painfully often, go on... falling and rising as the heavens spin above and the pit yawns below.  Suspended reanimation.  *grins*

I went down around 20:30.  Someone *cough* forgot to stop back.  I wanted to go back to bed so strongly.  I waited as long as I could.  No real problem, perhaps they should stop that.  Too much is too much, and I think there is too much on some people's plates.  Truly.  Don't scourge... no need... that is what life often is as is.  If you don't think so, think of what you would be doing if you weren't doing what you have to do?  If there is nothing else, either you are indeed fortunate (enjoy it, if it works for you), or you are a damn fool lost to a dead world.  Even if I weren't ill, the time I must spend eating, sleeping, voiding, dressing, cleaning *cough*, etc...  Well...  Though, as with any pain, those are there for a reason in the here and now.  Warnings, resets, checksums, function variables, offsets, stabilizers and destabilizes... much else.  They serve a purpose for our mortal coils, which serve us as well as we serve them, save for the few... whiney... Jobs and Jonah's out there.  *cough*  Just glad it wasn't a whale swallowing.  Never hear the end of THAT ONE!  "Hey, Jonah... feel like a sucker!"  *group laughter*  Damned heathens.  Anyway...

I am hoping to get more work done today.  I would like to get moved into my spare bedroom, to begin emptying my main bedroom, to clean... top to bottom.  Clothes will be sorted.  I have too many.  Not that I obsess, and buy too much.  I probably buy too few.  The problem is that I rarely eject old and worn.  Now, while I don't wear them (unless down to the scraps), they do fill up spaces.  I could toss, though I think some of them are off sizes or colors (hate grey, keep trying for some reason), that they are hardly used and would work well as a work thing or daily home driver.  Even for near dress in some blue collar venues.  Mighty ducky to walk onto the construction site or sewer plant in a good looking polo, and not be the usual suit suspect.  *wink*  Though even the somewhat warn, slightly stained, or with holes, can go to centers that know how to renter that into other useful products.  Charities, on their good side, have become very good at 'using the whole animal'.  So... I'll try to let them.

I want to make the room completely bare, clean, let dry, clean again, air out, then move back in.  A week?  I'll probably want it quicker, but it will probably take longer.  My reward?  A new mattress top for in there.  Everything else is dory hunky.  No more pillow tops!  Gah I hate that thing.  You can only twist it, not twist and flop, so it goes soft so much more quickly.  Rotate them like your tires, every 10k miles, is it?  :p  I ought to do it more, being a bengal tiger weight class, but...  I stopped rotating it some time ago, because I was just changing one double pot hole side for the other, both pretty much done out.  Tried crissflopping it, didn't work either.  Mattress shows me no respect the further!

Anyway, that is the plan in the cave.  Little things in the kitchen, a bit of laundry here or there, and some toying with ropes outside when I am feeling really pumped... Initially I only want to be around ropes when focus, fortitude, and exuberance are all in play.  A ten foot drop, with the right spin, can kill.  Helmets might be nice, but your neck isn't a whole lot more secure than a chicken.  Man, you shouldn't read here with your head there.  The puns they are a spinning.  For those who think I started that, I didn't.  For those of you who did...  Enjoy your youth, but... get a grip.  Funny how another in the future even, can already affect the past.  You just have to have a simple sight for this one.  Some don't have it... black and white as like animal thinking.  Some know exactly of which I speak.  Two different groups, mind you.  At least for now, oddly.  Some say you can teach a man to see in the dark, or woman... thank you Loretta, I am not so sure.

Huh?  Too tired to make sense of the gibber.  I'll game a bit, grouse for eats, take a shower, and try to... figure out today from there.  Later?  Who ever knows.