Up at a right hour.

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The goal is to be awake at 3:00-ish.  I really have to be to bed before 20:00, by a goodly bit.  At 19:10 or so, that was easily good enough.  I easily heard, and could have waken immediately.  I wanted to enjoy using the snooze bar though, and stretched it out to 3:30.  I didn't fall back to sleep, just thought and signed.  A fool alone in his varied considerations.  A bittersweet event, one I encourage a few times a day.

I realize as Sam ages, she too yearns for the lost.  I think she can sense them more acutely.  She mewls so... mournfully.  Initially I tried to get her not to do it.  I realize she has no more choice than I do.  I think to, for her age, for me having breached the veil so often and returned, we see those over there.  Sense them.  Sometimes it is a comfort, sometimes a great suffering.  To see without being able to touch.  If I can't handle it, I turn up the volume.  If I can, I go lend comfort.  She has years left, I suspect she will only mewl more and more as she gets ever, inexorably, closer.

Meds down, teeth brushed... using baking soda a few times a week in an attempt to further whiten, tea being had and brewed.  A shower and shave before long.  I thought about swimming but I am not quite ready.  It's coming.  I need a paddle-lock.  Ugh.  I am feeling better.  Not necessarily doing better, if feeling better can be party to it.  Not required, always.  It just doesn't hurt the process.

It's been a great day so far.  Now to do something with the rest of it.  Later.