A late day.

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Awake very late, waking late, moving slow.  Ducks and cats first thing.  I need to scoop the coop, but not quite today.  I have to do a bit of work in the house today.  I washed some of the dishes and set some of them back to soaking, some have been dried.  Laundry up, bedding changed and that and other laundry set to run, the rest of the dishes, then a shower and shave?  We will see.

Blood sugar is up this morning, in the low 200s.  Actually it is from not eating enough.  As well, too much sucradrops.  Without eating I am not using insulin.  Bleh.  I have to work on that.  If all else fails, I will simply have to take a few risks.  Frustrating.  But then I would rather blood sugar be a bit high than dropping too fast.  I will get there.

A bit of roast beef, then putting laundry up... actually bedding changed and all laundry back to the laundry room and started, then clean dry laundry all up.  Yeah.  It is spring, perhaps changing blankets and the bedspread... replacing those with lighter items while at it.  Yeah.  I'd really like to hit it, so as to get the coop cleaned and fresh hay in there tomorrow.

Later.


Oh, she is back.  I am all but certain.  I don't think she ever goes too far, for too long.  Sometimes she just ghosts through, sometimes she swipes at the hem of my cloak... as this time.  Seeking healing, love, in fear, other things, a mix of some, all, others?  Yes.  This time, in part, denying guilt, rightly, plus small fears and doubts.

She chose a path to failure.  She had a promised opportunity, reneged to play a game, lost.  Given the opportunity to rightly leave, I did.  If you play games to win, but don't have the skills?  Just don't.  I complained and whined with a fat grin, all the way to my bachelor pad and the bank.

Fair enough.  She isn't the one who needs to be slain.  She isn't the one inside.  No need to fear me.  More, though it may sting, I still love her, if only as a sister.

Actually, as mentioned before, she was all but expected to do to me what I must do to the woman discussed recently.  I almost hoped she would, once.  While I no longer hope for that way, my door is always open.  What an interesting lass... though whether she actually fears me, or her own threat to me... women have the strangest ways.