Hit a wall.

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I had been putting life back together.  Work was beginning.  Then the last few days... nothing.  I don't remember... what has been happening?  Anything?  I had to stop and think...  Ah, medicine.  I am nearly on full dose.  Started Monday.  It seemed to be going well until it wasn't.  At some point everything went blank.  Well, and meds are inverted, due to the sleep schedule.  I take morning pills at night, when I wake up, so the waterpills can work while I am awake.  And they work, if I need three to work.

Blood sugar is high, at 178 fasting.  It is a combination of not eating enough or often enough, and higher doses of one or all heart medicines.  Perhaps the waterpills push something out?  I'll keep at it as able.  It was down to 84 yesterday, for no good reason.  Bleh.

Mostly numb, if I can tell pain is back in behind that.  Medicine related.  I will have to slowly pull out of the numbness, dealing with intense pain, until I get beyond both, mostly.  It is just how these things work.  For good or ill, it is keeping me alive.  And as little as I can do when fully medicated and beyond the worst of it, it is more, better.  I only fell off trying to increase dosage to trim the last bit of problematic blood pressure, mind you.  Too much or too little and that is that.

At least there is no need for painkillers yet.  Sleep and wake cycles are mostly in check, reasonable, if inverted.  I'll make it.  I did check, looks like I have been taking my medicine.  It is easy to lose doses in the fog.  Not yet.  I get through this stage quicker if I don't miss doses.  Hard to remember in the fog, but worth the effort.  It's like trying to leave notes for a future forgetful self, where you will probably be and when and while you might be more aware... without overdoing it.  Too much, as with storm warnings, and it just gets tuned out.

I will try to get to dishes tonight, and chicken!  It's just a little turkey you know.