So very cold.

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My legs and feet are logs.  I have tried single layers of socks, and double.  I am back to cotton under wool.  I tried the furnace up to 78°.  There is no difference, functionally between 72°  and 78°, if I begin otherwise overheating at 74°.  I have tried 66° to 70° as well, just... thinking outside the box.  Reverse psychology, or biology or physiology, doesn't work.

Worse?  If I over exert, even if I set blankets right, I can't warm at night.  That hurts while asleep.  As well, when I can wake, I am still tired.  I have no idea how long or often I have been sleeping, only that it is increasing.  Twelve to sixteen down, with two to four hour naps, all wrapped in a day and a half to two day cycle, all becoming as one day.

I have no clear perception of life.  I did make a fantastic pork roast the other day.  That and fatted drinks have been food.  Blood sugar is going up, but I ate out, poorly, the last two times I went out.  I may attempt fasting for a few days.  If I can.  Without focus I find food in front of me, going down, before I realize, remember, the plan.

I am going to get trash going, and do small batches of dishes and laundry, once I can gain function.  Today?  Tomorrow?  Next week sometime?  When I can.


Life is... very confusing for my kind.  Me more than most of my kind.  I rejected our world.  And I have been retired longer than alive before that.

Until I... met this one, nothing made sense.

Now it all does, but the doing remains.  A doing beyond knowing, ken, or my and my kin's nature.  And, yet, that is the path to which I have dedicated my feet.