Getting a few things done.

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Dishes.  Not all of them.  Everything HAS been hit, washed at least once.  Plus, the cast iron pieces are cleaned and dried, ready to use.  Plus, meat that was thawing is finished.  I had wanted to grill, but... too smoky.  I'm just not in the mood for smoky food.  Actually, the chicken grilled the other day is too smoky for me to eat.  I just... can't.  It wasn't grilled all that long, if too long it seems.

All dishes not finished were reset, for a final wash.  I am, and am able to, use a timer to get things done.  I've tried it before, recently, often, it just hasn't worked.  Tonight is the night!  Anyway, there is another half hour before I will hit again, then rinse, and finally towel dry then put up the dishes for an air dry.  At that time, I am hoping to have enough energy to begin roasting the pork, setting up a new batch of chicken to be roasted with the pork roast... but after brining for an hour, and later perhaps doing more ground meat crumble for throughout the week.

Anything else tonight?  Doubtful.  Maybe.  I am not sure I will get to the burger.  Oh, but a shower.  I will get a shower if I have to pound my head into a door.  I... need a shower.  Badly needed.  I... it... hasn't happened in a while.  Ugh.  Being so close to death, sometimes, makes regular things nigh on impossible.  I'll keep at it, do, as I can.

Oh, a fear has been... allayed?  Sort of.  I had... begun balking at keto, and dieting altogether, after seeing that, with an app, I could be seriously successful.  Oh, there will be ups and downs.  Failures.  Frustration.  But!  Success is quite possible with said device and focus.  Calories have to be counted, after becoming fat acclimated... where my body begins consuming fat instead of carbs.

The trick, of course, is to become fat burning.  To that end I have to consume fairly heavy fats, initially.  Way over calorie deficit.  As well, carbs have to be cut.  While my particular situation allows for 25~30 carbs a day, the initial... and even typical... goal is to cut far below that.  For a week, two?  Until ketosis is entered and deeply enough to be functional.  The pee strips aren't great, once in ketosis, but are excellent for knowing when it is hit, and getting to the level I need.  After becoming fat burning, ketones are what is burned, so they will no longer show up on the strips.  But that also means adding electrolytes, at least occasionally.

Oh, her.  I was afraid of what my body would look like, at some point in weight loss.  This little bird bravely showed me her situation.  Now, I won't be as... extensively... bothered by the bane of extra skin.  My arms and legs are shockingly tight.  My arms vary from 15" to 17", my legs from 28" to 35", but solid... somehow.  I don't mean the flabby solid, I mean muscled.  It's just my belly that will sag, front and back.  If not as much as her.  I will have the belly, nothing I can do, if probably not in two places.  Chicks have it tough, not fair but...  *sigh*  But... seeing what I might be looking at... has brought me back to the table.  Beautiful?  In a way, yes.  We all bear scars from our past decisions.  Scars are an upgrade from wounds.  And, I will pray she keeps her health and way, and in gratitude for her bravery in exposing... our mutual fear.  As well, that she finds the money for surgery.  Some... surgeries are... better than others.  

Anyway, so... yea... I'm... thinking I'm back.  It's been "good" to eat carbs again.  But, it's time to get back to it.  Like restarting meds, which I also need to do, this is further going to kick the legs out from under me.  If need be, until the cages are together, I will supplement carbs, if I crash too hard.  Meds will wait too.  But... I'm... I know where I am going, again.  Later.