The crash happened much more quickly than anticipated.

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I was sitting here, thinking on a shower, waking by looking around, when all of a sudden, I couldn't even sit anymore.  Or think.  It all failed.  Back to bed.  It was, and is, still 72 up there!?!  Very strange.  I haven't checked the temp outside yet, then again I am still not sure I am awake.

I woke because my bladder was full, but I didn't want to use a pee jug.  I hate cleaning those out.  Still, they are very good for when I wake up, totally trashed by life, in the middle of the night(*tm - whatever my "night" might be, as in this case 13:15 or so).  Especially when, sometimes as it happens, I feel the need five or six times, or more, during a night.  Cutting my fluid intake, and the waterpill, have helped, but... not completely.  Sometimes I am not up to the trip, sometimes there would be enough trips that it would be tiresome, so... the bottles.  And, there are still rare nights, when I fill the three liter jug, and have to begin another one.  So... yeah.  But not 'tonight'!  I love when I can go without.

Still, I may not be able to stay awake.  Heard of Sleeping Beauty?  There is always an opposite.  I am Sleeping Ugly!  I may have to sleep long, but at least I don't have to sleep for days anymore, usually.  Lost a lot of my life to the bed, no real choice.  Even when they offered ritalin, while I didn't sleep days (except when I took time off from it), I still slept long hours... much as I do now.  Though I was much more awake when I was awake.  Even that, though, I couldn't take every day.  It was absolutely exhausting to continue, 15 mg was crushing.

I'll have to check them mail, see if my bp med increase is in.  I haven't started taking the increased dosage, didn't have enough remaining.  I did add that dose to the next three weeks, I think... though I have been through four days, so even that is running out.  And, to see if a check is in.  When I wake, or later.  So very tired.

Back to bed, I do believe.  It must be the temp, allowing me to finally sleep, and my body trying to make up for the last month of not sleeping as it needs.  I'm surprised that doesn't kill me.  But... as I have stated and proven if you believe even some of what you read, I am terrible at dying, but becoming perfected at suffering.  Not a bad thing, if you... can bear it.

Dreams, too.  Of flying.  No drama in it, just flying... at speed.  Speeds you couldn't imagine, yet.  Though, sometimes, more coasting or slowly looking over the land or mountains, or just enjoying the cooler air in my face.  Then again, to, I dream of war.  But more lightly, not so... emotionally involved, and not the dreams I can't change about it.  Just war.  Not always just against men, but against demons too.  I rarely remember much.  The war dreams have been happening for the last few months, off an on.  Not just while hot, hasn't really increased, if more like... background dreams.  Good dreams, mostly.  War has it's place and time.

Yes, back to bed.  Good night... again.