Awake.

.

.

Down very shortly after 22:00, up a bit after 04:00.  I need more sleep, feel it.  I just wasn't possible to stay down.  So very odd.  Windows open, but just upstairs.  It gets too cold if I leave the downstairs windows open.  It was a nice 71 near me, 68 generally, up there when I woke.

The bad news wasn't what I feared?  I still haven't heard.  Perhaps what broke, inside, was... just something breaking then?  It happens.  Don't know.  But it doesn't seem so.  The drive happened, just, he wasn't able to get back to town to pick me up.  Work, late, and perhaps trouble there?  Don't know.

I have continued to write, as usual.  I simply don't publish my writings.  I probably shouldn't publish this one, but there is a reason to put this out.  Several.  I am attempting to remove the... simpler... oh... journaling posts?  I think that is it.  Well, and the more negative ones.

One part, from the earlier post, I will add... a dream.  A man told me I was a terrible man, for saying, or thinking, the things I say, or write, or think.  I asked him if he thought I deserved punishment.  He thought so.  I asked him if living for 34 years, in such agony that I wanted to die most of the time would be enough?  Or having died three times, at least, but not being able to stay dead was good enough?  Or, maybe, being unable to survive on my own for that period.  Only living due to others?  And how terrible that really is?  I suppose you could bury me alive.  And, while, the death would be uncomfortable to the nth, there would at least be a definite finality to it.  I... don't think he cared.  Mean, he said.  Okay.

I am hoping to finish the dishes which were started, get more in, begin clearing counters, and getting boxes broken down and the last ones moved out to be broken down, over the next few days.  It'll happen.  I am keeping the bathroom up.  Trying other things.  Later, good morning, and good day.