A rather rough day.

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First, they are still calling to let me know that a deal I won't consider is available to me.  Six messages today.  So, I blocked their phones.  And, will block any other phone number they use to annoy me in the future.  Man, fool me once?  Heck, I won't give you the chance.  Mostly.  I think I took some hits on refinances, but... the value was there, in the long run.  Even if it was a bit of rip-off, and they knew it.  Not on this.  There was no value to this.

Anyway.  I have shut them off.  And will continue to do so.  I would see about a new mortgage company, but they are all, pretty much, the same.  At this point, they are predatory, and allowed to be by the government, probably encouraged to be.  Much as most bureaucracies.  Public, and private, has been weaponized against us.  I feel for those who trust, but... can't help them.  Hell, can't tell them.  It's actually dangerous to tell them.  They will simply hate, and consider turning you in, on some statist charge or other.

I dreamed, last night, of finding a second home somewhere.  I was exploring, more fully, upon taking it over.  Buying?  Renting?  If felt more as if I was buying it.  Anyway, so I was exploring, and more fully imagining how I would try to use the spaces, and just... looking around.

Some... thing... or somebody... was there.  I could sense them.  Familiar.  A normal wouldn't have more than noticed, but then, usually, shut down senses so as not to worry.  Because they can't, or won't, see.  But I am not afraid, good or bad.  And I must know what I am dealing with, before deciding what to do about it.

So, I went looking.  With eyes of flesh, and eyes of spirit.  Tricky little creature.  Did not want to be found, but didn't want to leave, either.  Using all it's focused ability to not be found, and that was considerable.  Even a normal abnormal would have given up, at this point, and just accepted.  But I am not standard issue, even among the terribly abnormal.

So, on I sought.  Then, just a peek, and... finally, more.  Sam!  She had been whisping about the place.  Not satisfied to rest in her... our... old/original home, she wanted to go see what I was doing.  Clever little sphinx.  She also didn't want to disturb me, for good or ill.  She... was just curious.  She did everything she could to stay unnoticed, but her abilities aren't comparable to my ability to see.

She was so healthy, and spry!  When she realized the gig was up, we played, like children, and just enjoyed our time.  What a wonderful dream.  I think she is still here.  Since I opened the door to heaven, she has found a way to follow me here.  It was definitely her, so young and healthy again!  Younger than I ever even knew her.

It still breaks my heart, a little bit.  But in a good way, too.  Not just in sadness.  Joy can be terribly heartbreaking.  That is what she didn't want.  Still, it is what it is.

Cold, windy, sprinkling, out there.  It made waking difficult.  Well, and I didn't end up in bed as early as hoped, if earlier than the last few days.  Chia breakfast is being eaten, and meatballs are in the stew... on the stove on a medium to medium-low, and in an hour and an half, I'll add veggies and muschrooms.  I have one more pack of meatballs for tomorrow.  I'll invite so-and-whositz over then.  With fresh veggies and a new pack of mushrooms.

A salad later.  Chores later.  I'll... keep trying.  It does hurt.  I am tired beyond tired.  Things ache beside the hurts.  Oh well.  I've had worse.  And, even if not, suffering is a grace only to be known here.  Get it while you can!  :p  Have a good day, blessings, and later.