Up!

.

.

Weakly.  But, for the first time in... weeks?  I was able to do something.  Dishes.  I kicked them out.  It was far less than it seemed it would be, in my mind.  I haven't been in the shower, myself, in... a week?  Two?  Three?  I haven't even brushed my hair in... a... long while.  It is a mess.  Working on it.  I want it mostly sorted by the time I shower.

Meat has been thawed.  This time, I was able to attend it.  As soon as the burger was thawed, into the fridge it went.  All of the meat has been refrigerated right as soon as it thawed.  Now to cook it.  I... think that will happen, this time.  The burger will be cooked as crumble, and added to salad, seasoned as if for tacos, but from my raw blend.  I have fennel seed on the way.  More for pork meatballs, or a mix.  Along with other ingredients... little flavor bombs.  Would have preferred to by it in town, but haven't been able to get out, not sure when I will be out.  And, not sure I can get to two stores.  Working... on things.

I already paid one of the three bills I need to pay with right first thing this month.  Need to figure out how to get out, to get cash... for one of them.  Well, and to figure out how much that is.  Ugh.  Ah-ha!  $108.  Too tired to use my brain, so... Oh, and plus... $21, for eggs, past and present?  I... think that would be it, so $129.  Can do.  Not sure about utilities, but they will be high... I've lost... track of those.  $150, in arears?  Or one click more, no less.  I'll... get it done.  A check right away, though I'll have to find my other checks, to get a stream of them in.

Money, money, money.  Not a complaint, just a reality.  Even if you are poor.  Especially if you are poor?  Especially.  Give unto Caesar.  While these aren't Caesar, they are worldly.  And, so, from the earth, to the earth.  The only option is to do it all oneself.  I... can't do that.  Nor, truly, would I wish that.  Even with a woman, that path is brutal.  You are only good until you aren't, then you need to die.  And will, one way or another.  Be left to the cold, to die alone.  Or be slain in your sleep, or... even not.  As a mercy.  But who can afford that kind of mercy?  Even the brutal kinless seem to, normally, know better.  Only the wildmen, insane and terrible, might consider it.  If... even they have taboos, oddly.  Ah... from a time before your remembering... or between rememberings.  Even in history, there were unrecorded epochs, and here and there.  The world has been dark as night, to the soul, from time to time.  I... remember.

Breakfast, next.  After that, and some sit down waking time, a shower.  I'll be working on my hair, as I may, on the way to the water gallows.  Good 'morning' and day.  Amen.

Sometimes my brain needs a massage.  Maybe you too?  Here.