Nice.

.

.

14:30, or so.  Still awake.  Trying to get my days back.  Proving difficult.  As fall deepens, winter arrives, I crash.  I turned up the furnace, and am eating.  If it's just peas, corn, and butter?  Okay.  If it's meat?  That's fine.  I need food, in order to fight my way through.  Just the reality of it, for me, and now.

I want to do a bit more in the game, take a shower, and... some other things?  It's... not going to happen.  It is time to sleep.  So tired.  I will turn the furnace down, and turn it back up when I wake up.  Sleep as long as I can, to midnight if the lower end of the aim, though if I snap awake, that is that sometimes.  Especially twice in a row.  I can fight one of those off, not two.

Sore, but not as sore as I had been.  Life isn't terrible, it just isn't good.  Even when awake, I am terribly tired.  The dark.  The cold.  The wet.  Just crawls right into my body and mind, crushes me like a bear with a toy.  Just won't seem to kill me.  So far.  Eventually.

Have a great day.  I'll... try to sleep, and get back to days myself, before too long.

I keep day dreaming about a woman I was with.  I don't remember much about her.  Her scent, oddly.  She had a peculiar perfume she preferred.  Wouldn't know it to smell it though.  She... when she wore it, it changed on her.  It was with her that I learned scents aren't static.

Oh, she was as close to a friend as I got with a woman.  Sex seemed to be just something that happened, because we were 'right there'.  It seemed so natural.  Not sure what happened.  The Navy, or did I just...  When you lose someone, a first love, and forget... somehow?  It's... difficult to recouple, forgive, forget even if you can't remember?  Odd, but true.

They did an experiment, with amnesiacs.  Perpetual ones, who didn't remember yesterday, or before, but forever.  Pain... can cause a strange paranoia.  Enough pain, or pain in certain forms, ways, or from certain sources... can really stick with even an amnesiac.  I know this.

Well, on to bed.  Good night, day, afternoon, and so on.