Up, for a bit?

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I didn't get to another thing?  Hmm, well, maybe I put the laundry in the dryer away?  Or had I finished that earlier.  I just can't remember.  I didn't, however, put the laundry from the wash into the dryer.  But it's still fresh enough that a redo isn't necessary.  So, first thing, after giving Sassy food, that was put in.  I won't start more laundry though.  Other things to do, and things coming up.

I also unloaded the dishwasher.  Wow, the kitchen is slowly smoothing out.  After, I started coffee.  I won't reset the dishes from earlier to their final soapy soak.  I need to shower later.  I'm not sure I could work through more dishes before showering.  So... I'll just leave that open.

Two things woke me early.  First, I forgot to brush my teeth.  After I finish the fatted coffee, I'll get to that.  The other is the medical.  I knew the news would come, soon or late.  I just didn't think it would be as much of a bother as it is.  I've gotten used to being alive, again.  Even enjoying it.  On the good side, I have an idea of what is over there.

I was in the process of getting the holy back in order, so that will continue, with a bit more vigor... as is possible.  God knows I do what I can, and probably then some.  Still, it's... not the idea of just willing at things.  You have to at least lift a finger, as in the Creation of Adam painting?  Feebly, perhaps.  Falteringly, always?

Yes, it has me... upset.  Nothing to do but carry on though.  After I collect my nerve again.  Worry, too.  I had hoped to outlive mother.  Not... as a spite thing.  Merely in the hopes she wouldn't have to suffer that, too.  I've dragged that woman through hell and back.  I had hoped to give her this peace.  As well, Sassy.  An old cat just finds no love.  She is such a sweetheart too.  I mean it, the only cat I have ever had who has the gentlest of souls... spirits?  She's got another five years, decade, possibly more.  But she is getting older, slower, too.  A cruel time of life to lose the only one who cares.

Rough.  And, yet, I have been looking forward to this, more or less, for forty years.  A man shouldn't spend four decades dying.  That's not right.  But it was an opportunity to find God, or... for Him to find me.  But I took that opportunity, spitefully initially, cautiously.  Ever worked with a too old, half crazed, stallion, feeling captured, trapped, angry, and more?  God has.  A slow long hard haul.  Roughly on the path, but... I follow.  That's a grant few get.  I won't begrudge my death at this point.  And, I am ready, have stayed as ready as possible.  If even a devoted man sins seven times a day?  Or such.  This I know, and by a factor of seventy some days?

No bitter tears, just... tears anyway.  I didn't think it would hit me like this.  But, as mentioned, I have grown to quite enjoy being alive.

Enough.  I think I'll try to finish the laundry.  Get that put up.  At least organize the dishes, so as to have them ready for soaking after the shower.  Then into the dishwasher right then, or later, or even tomorrow.  I may have two more loads of laundry to set up and push through.  Plus, I have many clean clothes just in baskets.  I'd like to begin sorting bedding pieces.  Finding a place for just those.  And figure out places for the rest as well.

Oh, and to get the iron, ironing board, and spritzer down.  I'll be a bit rough at ironing initially.  It's not been since the Navy that I ironed anything.  I'll never be as good as that, if I wasn't great at it even then.  Passable will have to do.  I have three or four shirts to get pressed.  And others will eventually come through the wash and find their way to that process.  Why now?  If I can, because I can.  Have always had these things on my mind, but have been bound by... some... unknown limitation.  Will see if I can carry on, improve, grow learn, even if while dying at pace.

Never quit.  I'll resist, now, until my last breath.  It's how I do, now... again.

Coffee is good.  I took blood sugar right when I woke.  I was afraid it was going to be terribly high.  I... was hungry.  So, in town, I shared a meal.  Had four crispy tacos and a fried... chimichanga.  With rice and beans.  If with water.  So I was expecting... 180s on the low end, 240s on the high end, or even maybe 300s?  Blood sugar can be, has been stupid.  But, no... it was 120?  Crazy.  But, I'll take it.  Not sure that would officially be fasting, though probably pretty close?

Now to just relax.  Ease.  Enjoy my coffee.  Set up dishes for restarting when... when I restart them.  Let the dryer do it's job, then run it a final short spin.  Put those up.  Brush me teeth.  Then get back to bed.  Sleep was good, otherwise.  It'll... be good again.  And, even a stormy, threatening, hard world looks better after a good night of sleep.

Be of good cheer.  There are far worse things than death.  I... am one of them.  :p