Rough?

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Still needing a lot of sleep.  Stress, the weather... it goes from warm to cool to cold, back up, then cold and with health being... off.  BP keeps staying high, even with taking medication, and extra.  I don't understand.  Then again, if mother wasn't here, I would go without food for days, weeks, possibly longer.  And I'd sleep clean through days to weeks, often without medication.  Only drinking water every few days to weekly.  Almost literal hibernation.

Perhaps there are times when the only thing that helps is sleep, well and rest.  While I sleep a lot, I do spend some of that downtime awake but doing nothing... thinking, daydreaming, sensing.  Still, mostly, sleeping for eighteen to thirty six hours, waking for food and water, or very minor chores, and medicine, every eight to twelve hours, for an hour or two.  Waking, every eighteen to thirty six hours for four to maybe pushing eight hours, before I crash again.

The new mortgage was finally finished and signed.  It won't be complete until later this month, howevere.  Bleh.  Then I will get electrical started.  Then tankless water heaters, and a few minor things.  This year.  Storing up a bit, figuring out finances going forward, and planning upgrades and updates through the next four years, so as not to deplete the safety net.

New tires, a few house purchases though too, a bit of food storage more, and a new windshield.  Then, closing up, financially, like a clam.  Let it burn, I'll have to wait it out.

After all that fuss, getting the debts lined up and paid, they are all being paid off.  So much work, and it took so long to get the mortgage through.  I almost think they were stress testing to see if they could kill me off with processes.  But... it doesn't work like that.  After draino, and everything else I have done, over the health issues, plus the pain I have and do endure, this wasn't even a blip on my infotainment monitor.

Just because I should be dead doesn't mean they can stress me to it.  As I have mentioned, here, before?  I have two, three, maybe (probably) four decades remaining.  As Britains Charles Bronson?  I... became too strong for my own good, in my case too strong to die when... I should.  We are... both serving life, just in different ways.  I pray he gets out.  I'll... take my sentence in full.  I'm... starting to... like being alive, a bit, again, finally.  Even as a moth pinned to a corkboard most of the time.

Well, on to some coffee and my morning.