.
.
I am somewhat surprised. I went to bed between 17:00 and 18:oo and woke up at 00:00 or so. I had no headache, only very minor pains (between 0 and 1 on the scale), no fever, and no body crankiness aside from pain. I am about to take today's dosage as I said I would. Why potentially ruin a perfectly good evening? Well, first, if all it does is put me to sleep, then good. I would not mind sleeping until morning. And, if it is going to do whatever, at least I had a bit of time without any complaints. Actually, now that I think about it, I will probably wait until I have tinkered a bit, eaten, and am not interested, necessarily, in continuing to be awake before I drop the load.
Since this is the first time I have not had other symptoms, other than extreme exhaustion. And that extreme exhaustion could, in part, be accounted by the fact I had been up many hours, there might be hope that I might be digging my way through. Either that or it is simply a weird little vacation and I will be back to regularly scheduled programming any time now.
I am a little hot to find out they started me on the maximum possible daily dosage. Is that not risky, with any medicine? If it somehow works though, I will shut my trap. I freak the medicos out. My blood pressure, diabetes, and some other things simply do things they do not understand. And, some of them have told me they are not, at all, sure why I am alive. I have suggested they simply do this scientifically. Am I dead? No... Well then, that is why I am alive. Sometimes a chuckle, sometimes a blank stare. I hate to tell you, but honestly, that IS science. You can go farther, no doubt, but not much. Well, I do not believe going further in theory is too much better than where the Greek 'scientists' went, unless you are talking about the latrine. We all go there. Ha.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Still up, but I did a bad.
.
.
I have stayed up most of the day, further, I am going to try and drag it out until a respectable hour. Now, I did get in a hurry and honestly forgot to take the medicine. I was all set for it, and do things in my time, but when surprised or rushed I often forget those tedious little details. My neighbor seemed rather ready to go after we had talked, he finished his business, and then rang my doorbell. And I just could not remember the second thing I wanted for Wal-Mart. Then, I locked myself out of my apartment (the first time in at least 10 years, maybe the second, but first sounds better).
Oh well, I took it just now, and if I stay up late enough, I will take it again. If I cannot stay awake, then I will take today's pill when I wake up. I know, double dosing and all that, but I will stubbornly take it as promised. If in two weeks I am still this bad off, I may cut my dose in half every other day or something. Today, being able to stay up and get a bit done, I am hopeful that I might be able to push through. Who knows. If the symptoms seem worse, at least I am doing better than before. Before I honestly slept 18 hours a day, and occasionally 3 consecutive days. And, I was on a lower dosage.
I think my neighbor just likes to get out of the house. His main hobby is his gun collection. His .45 started out as a $500 dollar piece. He now has around $1,100 in new parts (purchased over many months as he lives on less than $400 personal money a month, sometimes a lot less). He does his own smithing, but he has been trained in aspects of that so he is not just (completely) guessing. And he researches each add months before buying a particular part. He reloads, when he can find expendables, but then he buys in small numbers. 100 primers this month, a pound of powder next month, etc. I have witnessed some of his gun coming together. It has improved greatly.
I spoke to him today about going to see his dentist. He still thinks the price is the same, but it was more than he had said. The $800 is for dentures (he believes), but there is another $300 to $400 for pulling his remaining lower teeth. If his dentist wants him in for a re-evaluation, I told him to go on in and that I will pay for that up front. If his dentist is sure that the price is still good, then I will just begin looking for assistance in getting the work done. The total price tag would be tricky for me. Depending on his dentist though, if I had to and he is flexible with payments, I might still be able to do it. That went better than I had hoped. Though, in truth, I did edge my way to this point. I will begin speaking with some people I have met and I will meet others in this quest.
After we did our shopping, we stopped in at Golden Coral again. He likes going there. I think that is about it for this month. Which is fine. They probably know me more by how much tea I drink than how much I eat. I think I eat a lot, but the women who tend our table wonder why I eat so little. They must be used to people really piling it on.
I have been trying to drink as much water as possible. But there are real limits. I try to drink at least a glass (16 ounces) an hour, and sometimes I will drink a half a gallon in an hour. Staying hydrated, for me, is rather quirky. I am often overly thirsty. I can drink to a certain level, then I coast a bit, and often while coasting I fall behind. Oh well, I will figure it out in time.
Bah, I think I am going to have to sleep. Lisinopril just dusts me. Later.
.
I have stayed up most of the day, further, I am going to try and drag it out until a respectable hour. Now, I did get in a hurry and honestly forgot to take the medicine. I was all set for it, and do things in my time, but when surprised or rushed I often forget those tedious little details. My neighbor seemed rather ready to go after we had talked, he finished his business, and then rang my doorbell. And I just could not remember the second thing I wanted for Wal-Mart. Then, I locked myself out of my apartment (the first time in at least 10 years, maybe the second, but first sounds better).
Oh well, I took it just now, and if I stay up late enough, I will take it again. If I cannot stay awake, then I will take today's pill when I wake up. I know, double dosing and all that, but I will stubbornly take it as promised. If in two weeks I am still this bad off, I may cut my dose in half every other day or something. Today, being able to stay up and get a bit done, I am hopeful that I might be able to push through. Who knows. If the symptoms seem worse, at least I am doing better than before. Before I honestly slept 18 hours a day, and occasionally 3 consecutive days. And, I was on a lower dosage.
I think my neighbor just likes to get out of the house. His main hobby is his gun collection. His .45 started out as a $500 dollar piece. He now has around $1,100 in new parts (purchased over many months as he lives on less than $400 personal money a month, sometimes a lot less). He does his own smithing, but he has been trained in aspects of that so he is not just (completely) guessing. And he researches each add months before buying a particular part. He reloads, when he can find expendables, but then he buys in small numbers. 100 primers this month, a pound of powder next month, etc. I have witnessed some of his gun coming together. It has improved greatly.
I spoke to him today about going to see his dentist. He still thinks the price is the same, but it was more than he had said. The $800 is for dentures (he believes), but there is another $300 to $400 for pulling his remaining lower teeth. If his dentist wants him in for a re-evaluation, I told him to go on in and that I will pay for that up front. If his dentist is sure that the price is still good, then I will just begin looking for assistance in getting the work done. The total price tag would be tricky for me. Depending on his dentist though, if I had to and he is flexible with payments, I might still be able to do it. That went better than I had hoped. Though, in truth, I did edge my way to this point. I will begin speaking with some people I have met and I will meet others in this quest.
After we did our shopping, we stopped in at Golden Coral again. He likes going there. I think that is about it for this month. Which is fine. They probably know me more by how much tea I drink than how much I eat. I think I eat a lot, but the women who tend our table wonder why I eat so little. They must be used to people really piling it on.
I have been trying to drink as much water as possible. But there are real limits. I try to drink at least a glass (16 ounces) an hour, and sometimes I will drink a half a gallon in an hour. Staying hydrated, for me, is rather quirky. I am often overly thirsty. I can drink to a certain level, then I coast a bit, and often while coasting I fall behind. Oh well, I will figure it out in time.
Bah, I think I am going to have to sleep. Lisinopril just dusts me. Later.
To take or not to take.
.
.
Fine, not really a question. I do have to take it. But I am waiting until 11:00 so that I may, in clear conscience, also take Tylenol. Perhaps I will see my neighbor by then and have something planned. I am a bit tired, I have stayed up a long time considering the medicine. Normally this would be my day, from late at night until early morning. But with the medicine, I started to sleep more, much more. The last few days has been a sleep fest. And, usually, even off the medicine, I would be tired and ready to sleep. I am trying to push for several reasons. First, I have slept so much (and fruitlessly) recently that I would like to be tired enough to sleep more naturally, I am trying to stretch a bit, and I would still like to work my waking hours to the daytime as I had nearly done before medicine.
I did the laundry. It is folded or on a hanger in the closet. All is put away except a few pair of jeans which are not quite dry. I have a place for them waiting for dryness to my preference. I have a few more loads left to do, laundry I could not conveniently take this time. With a laundry facility here, I might just do the laundry sooner than not. I only traveled to another laundromat because of the number of loads I had. I probably could have done it here, but being unsure, I went where I knew I could do it all in one pass.
I arrived at 7:00, to the closer laundromat. I was alone for half of the time. Then an older woman came in. She was quite interested, kept asking me for help or advice, and smiling. She had some form of accent, one of the Islands of Great Britain to be sure. I could tell she was beyond the age of child bearing. But more, I will not meet women randomly. I need to know who they are, a bit of their history, and whether they are of faith or not. She was not interesting to me either, there was no 'zing'. And yes, that is needed. I sort of felt bad for her, but there is nothing I can do. Children have to be part and parcel of any relationship I get into, and there has to be mutual faith and that zing.
I just spoke with my neighbor. He does have a few things he wants to accomplish. He does not necessarily need my help but since some of the things he wants to do align with things I need to do, there is no problem there. I have decided to talk to him today, about helping him a bit. He really needs teeth work, and from what he has said, he simply cannot afford it and his medical will not pay. Further, he is behind on many of his other medical bills, his part of them, and some other bills. He has indicated that the work he needs would cost $800 dollars. Still, I want him to go to his dentist and get a newer quote, for which I will pay. I am not sure I can pay the rest of it alone, so when I get the quote, I plan on making a few phone calls. I suppose, if I have to, I will pay it. This is, in my estimate, a health based need, not merely cosmetic or such. I would do it for many, depending on their situation. It needs to be done. I know, there goes some of my plans, but if I can get help or get it on a payment plan, it will be okay, mostly. *grumble* *grin* Like I care about money. *laughs*
It is nearly 11:00, so I am going to take the Tylenol and the Lisinopril. I am drinking the hi-pro coffee as we speak. I hope this wor.... *bonk*
*poof*
.
Fine, not really a question. I do have to take it. But I am waiting until 11:00 so that I may, in clear conscience, also take Tylenol. Perhaps I will see my neighbor by then and have something planned. I am a bit tired, I have stayed up a long time considering the medicine. Normally this would be my day, from late at night until early morning. But with the medicine, I started to sleep more, much more. The last few days has been a sleep fest. And, usually, even off the medicine, I would be tired and ready to sleep. I am trying to push for several reasons. First, I have slept so much (and fruitlessly) recently that I would like to be tired enough to sleep more naturally, I am trying to stretch a bit, and I would still like to work my waking hours to the daytime as I had nearly done before medicine.
I did the laundry. It is folded or on a hanger in the closet. All is put away except a few pair of jeans which are not quite dry. I have a place for them waiting for dryness to my preference. I have a few more loads left to do, laundry I could not conveniently take this time. With a laundry facility here, I might just do the laundry sooner than not. I only traveled to another laundromat because of the number of loads I had. I probably could have done it here, but being unsure, I went where I knew I could do it all in one pass.
I arrived at 7:00, to the closer laundromat. I was alone for half of the time. Then an older woman came in. She was quite interested, kept asking me for help or advice, and smiling. She had some form of accent, one of the Islands of Great Britain to be sure. I could tell she was beyond the age of child bearing. But more, I will not meet women randomly. I need to know who they are, a bit of their history, and whether they are of faith or not. She was not interesting to me either, there was no 'zing'. And yes, that is needed. I sort of felt bad for her, but there is nothing I can do. Children have to be part and parcel of any relationship I get into, and there has to be mutual faith and that zing.
I just spoke with my neighbor. He does have a few things he wants to accomplish. He does not necessarily need my help but since some of the things he wants to do align with things I need to do, there is no problem there. I have decided to talk to him today, about helping him a bit. He really needs teeth work, and from what he has said, he simply cannot afford it and his medical will not pay. Further, he is behind on many of his other medical bills, his part of them, and some other bills. He has indicated that the work he needs would cost $800 dollars. Still, I want him to go to his dentist and get a newer quote, for which I will pay. I am not sure I can pay the rest of it alone, so when I get the quote, I plan on making a few phone calls. I suppose, if I have to, I will pay it. This is, in my estimate, a health based need, not merely cosmetic or such. I would do it for many, depending on their situation. It needs to be done. I know, there goes some of my plans, but if I can get help or get it on a payment plan, it will be okay, mostly. *grumble* *grin* Like I care about money. *laughs*
It is nearly 11:00, so I am going to take the Tylenol and the Lisinopril. I am drinking the hi-pro coffee as we speak. I hope this wor.... *bonk*
*poof*
Still steaming.
.
.
I got the shower, shaved, and I am just about to put my clothes together for a search of a, or the, 24 hour laundromat. After showering and shaving, I really did need to rest a bit. The coffee, perhaps, kept me from needing sleep. Yes, even the lightest of duty can cause me to crash. I have also started sweating again. I am just burning up. I can tell it is a fever as even my eyelids are hot to my eyes. Anyway, I looked through the blogs on my list, then went internet snooping for a few items, and I decided to buy myself a birthday present. A day late even ordering, of course, but I understand my loutish behavior. :P
I decided to buy a couple of seltzer water dispensers and enough CO2 cartridges to last a goodly while. Beside the item being on my list for some time, I recently suggested this to Neo-Neocon. Her drink requirements reminded me that I have wanted this little ditty for some time. And, after already being crowded by bottles and cans, I decided that it might be a good idea for me. With the costs as they are, I can make my own sparkling water at about 50 cents a liter or less. Perrier costs right at $1.78 here, per liter. Yeah, if I want lemon or lime, there is that cost. But as much as a single lemon or lime will last, it only adds pennies to the deal. And, often I will simply add it to fruit juice or drink it straight. Plus, I think this sort of thing will happily allow me to cut out any soda whatsoever and maintain my low beer intake (of about 2 to 4 beers a week, max, with no more than 2 at a time, urhm, unless there is a blue moon).
I am about to head out in search of a laundromat now. I need to get my clothes in some sort of order before I go. I think they are mostly stacked in the basket, but I would like to get them in a little better order so they will be simple like loads, ready to go when I get there. I should take a bunch of hangers as well. I did not do that last time. The shirts I folded were fine, though folding takes a lot more time, the ones I did not fold were quite wrinkled even though I put them on hangers as soon as I returned. I suspect that when they came out of the drier, they had a bit of moisture in them, but the heat of the day and it being so arid, wrinkles from lying on the basket set in and deeply. Not that I need to dress to impress at this moment, necessarily. But you never know who one might meet, or when a wrinkle free shirt might be just the ticket for some kind of very positive interaction or other.
More later:
Here is the dope. I did get it all together, sorted hangers even (most of them had still been in the box packed in Coralville). Clothes were sorted by color and then a bit by fabric and weave, give or take. I have so many dirty clothes that I could only take most of them. I took the ones I use the most and need the most. I also added some of those freshly sorted hangers and the bible to read. I grabbed the letters I needed to send as well. I put that and the detergent and bleach in the SUV, and headed out to find the elusive all night laundromat(s). I drove around the area I thought it might be, weaving here and there along a 8 x 2 block area. I thought it was just to the east of Main Street, somewhere in the 2nd north to 6th south area. I thought it was in the 1st or 2nd block east. Nothing, nowhere was a laundromat to be found.
I decided to drive to my bank and check out some money. I decided instead of that, to mail my letters first. It took me a bit to find the post office again, but it was done and my letters and the birthday card are on their way. I was getting confused, in part because I could not remember both things I wanted to buy at Wal-Mart (so I decided not to stop, yet) and because I have been pushing my awake time. I decided to stop at a 7/11 and ask if they knew where this laundromat is or if I could look at their phonebook. Sure enough, we found the address. Ah, 50 east 500 north. A few blocks off is all.
So, back in the Xterra, and though I am getting hungry, I first wanted to see if the place is 24 hour or not. I drive by and see that it is closed. On closer inspection, I see they open at 6:00. I drive to McDonald since it is the only place open, and buy some breakfast. I then decide to drive home and eat at home, leaving my laundry in the SUV for a 5:50 outing, since it is only 4:30, so a parking lot wait at the laundromat would have been a bit long and dull.
How, you may ask, have I stayed up so long? I used three tricks. First, coffee! Woot, Hi Ya, and things like that. It is super premium high octane, bumblebee in your pants, sort of stuff. And, for now, it works. Then I added another dose of Tylenol. I will need another as the pain is starting to ratchet up a few notches. And third, I did not take the Lisinopril yet. When I finish with the laundry, and I am ready for whatever may come, I will take it. The affects have been most dramatic almost immediately following taking the junk. In 24 hours most of the effect has weakened. I would guess though, that it would take a week or more to fully recover from the poison and all of the effects from it.
Now, when I do finish laundry, and I take the pill, I am going to try and pull a all-dayer. I will brew some coffee first, then take another dose of Tylenol about 4 hours from now, and then take the kill pill. I am not sure, at all, if that will be enough to boost me through the day. I will just have to do my best. I think my neighbor wanted to do something today. I know he did yesterday, or I heard the doorbell in my fever dreams. Either way, I could no more rise to answer the real or imagined doorbell than I could lift a mountain. I will check with him if I can stay awake. I still have that feverishness, I think that will be with me for a long time, so long as I take the medicine anyway. Perhaps I am allergic to all of these medicines?
Since I am sure I will make it to the laundry this morning, I will go ahead and post this. And, boy did I need a shower. I really need a bath, then a shower next time. Both fever and dream fear sweat have gotten into every pore. It will take a bit to get rid of that, and I could really use a couple of showers a day now, though I know I probably cannot accomplish those. Gladiators used to scrape this stuff off and sell it to ladies, back in the day. The sweat that is like this has a high testosterone count, which makes women feel sexy or something. Too bad I do not have a scraper and a clientele list, I could reek, I mean reap, a fortune. Ha!
.
I got the shower, shaved, and I am just about to put my clothes together for a search of a, or the, 24 hour laundromat. After showering and shaving, I really did need to rest a bit. The coffee, perhaps, kept me from needing sleep. Yes, even the lightest of duty can cause me to crash. I have also started sweating again. I am just burning up. I can tell it is a fever as even my eyelids are hot to my eyes. Anyway, I looked through the blogs on my list, then went internet snooping for a few items, and I decided to buy myself a birthday present. A day late even ordering, of course, but I understand my loutish behavior. :P
I decided to buy a couple of seltzer water dispensers and enough CO2 cartridges to last a goodly while. Beside the item being on my list for some time, I recently suggested this to Neo-Neocon. Her drink requirements reminded me that I have wanted this little ditty for some time. And, after already being crowded by bottles and cans, I decided that it might be a good idea for me. With the costs as they are, I can make my own sparkling water at about 50 cents a liter or less. Perrier costs right at $1.78 here, per liter. Yeah, if I want lemon or lime, there is that cost. But as much as a single lemon or lime will last, it only adds pennies to the deal. And, often I will simply add it to fruit juice or drink it straight. Plus, I think this sort of thing will happily allow me to cut out any soda whatsoever and maintain my low beer intake (of about 2 to 4 beers a week, max, with no more than 2 at a time, urhm, unless there is a blue moon).
I am about to head out in search of a laundromat now. I need to get my clothes in some sort of order before I go. I think they are mostly stacked in the basket, but I would like to get them in a little better order so they will be simple like loads, ready to go when I get there. I should take a bunch of hangers as well. I did not do that last time. The shirts I folded were fine, though folding takes a lot more time, the ones I did not fold were quite wrinkled even though I put them on hangers as soon as I returned. I suspect that when they came out of the drier, they had a bit of moisture in them, but the heat of the day and it being so arid, wrinkles from lying on the basket set in and deeply. Not that I need to dress to impress at this moment, necessarily. But you never know who one might meet, or when a wrinkle free shirt might be just the ticket for some kind of very positive interaction or other.
More later:
Here is the dope. I did get it all together, sorted hangers even (most of them had still been in the box packed in Coralville). Clothes were sorted by color and then a bit by fabric and weave, give or take. I have so many dirty clothes that I could only take most of them. I took the ones I use the most and need the most. I also added some of those freshly sorted hangers and the bible to read. I grabbed the letters I needed to send as well. I put that and the detergent and bleach in the SUV, and headed out to find the elusive all night laundromat(s). I drove around the area I thought it might be, weaving here and there along a 8 x 2 block area. I thought it was just to the east of Main Street, somewhere in the 2nd north to 6th south area. I thought it was in the 1st or 2nd block east. Nothing, nowhere was a laundromat to be found.
I decided to drive to my bank and check out some money. I decided instead of that, to mail my letters first. It took me a bit to find the post office again, but it was done and my letters and the birthday card are on their way. I was getting confused, in part because I could not remember both things I wanted to buy at Wal-Mart (so I decided not to stop, yet) and because I have been pushing my awake time. I decided to stop at a 7/11 and ask if they knew where this laundromat is or if I could look at their phonebook. Sure enough, we found the address. Ah, 50 east 500 north. A few blocks off is all.
So, back in the Xterra, and though I am getting hungry, I first wanted to see if the place is 24 hour or not. I drive by and see that it is closed. On closer inspection, I see they open at 6:00. I drive to McDonald since it is the only place open, and buy some breakfast. I then decide to drive home and eat at home, leaving my laundry in the SUV for a 5:50 outing, since it is only 4:30, so a parking lot wait at the laundromat would have been a bit long and dull.
How, you may ask, have I stayed up so long? I used three tricks. First, coffee! Woot, Hi Ya, and things like that. It is super premium high octane, bumblebee in your pants, sort of stuff. And, for now, it works. Then I added another dose of Tylenol. I will need another as the pain is starting to ratchet up a few notches. And third, I did not take the Lisinopril yet. When I finish with the laundry, and I am ready for whatever may come, I will take it. The affects have been most dramatic almost immediately following taking the junk. In 24 hours most of the effect has weakened. I would guess though, that it would take a week or more to fully recover from the poison and all of the effects from it.
Now, when I do finish laundry, and I take the pill, I am going to try and pull a all-dayer. I will brew some coffee first, then take another dose of Tylenol about 4 hours from now, and then take the kill pill. I am not sure, at all, if that will be enough to boost me through the day. I will just have to do my best. I think my neighbor wanted to do something today. I know he did yesterday, or I heard the doorbell in my fever dreams. Either way, I could no more rise to answer the real or imagined doorbell than I could lift a mountain. I will check with him if I can stay awake. I still have that feverishness, I think that will be with me for a long time, so long as I take the medicine anyway. Perhaps I am allergic to all of these medicines?
Since I am sure I will make it to the laundry this morning, I will go ahead and post this. And, boy did I need a shower. I really need a bath, then a shower next time. Both fever and dream fear sweat have gotten into every pore. It will take a bit to get rid of that, and I could really use a couple of showers a day now, though I know I probably cannot accomplish those. Gladiators used to scrape this stuff off and sell it to ladies, back in the day. The sweat that is like this has a high testosterone count, which makes women feel sexy or something. Too bad I do not have a scraper and a clientele list, I could reek, I mean reap, a fortune. Ha!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Sleep, pain, and heat.
.
.
Nope, the pills are definitely beating me into the ground. I sleep not because I feel like it but because I simply have no choice. I do not feel groggy, I nearly pass out. I can barely get my butt up and over to the bed. The headaches are severe, as is the neck and general body pain. I would rank it at about 7 to 9. If I consume 1400 mg's of Tylenol when I can drag myself over to the kitchen, that knocks the pain down to a tolerable 2 or 4 for a while. Sometimes I am simply too exhausted to move so I suffer until I can rise. And, my body temperature has shot up. What had been a pleasant, even cool, 72 F to 76 F here in the cave has become an intolerable sweat box. I am pretty sure that even at 66 F I would be pleasantly warm if not still hot. It is not the a/c, now, it is just me.
Why the doctors do not believe me, I have no clue. I ought to ask for more Tylenol, prescription strength, when I go there next time, if everything works out. I do not want anything heavier, it causes nausea and dizziness so that the pain becomes a lesser entity. After having tried 12 or more other regimens, this is as good as it gets. I feel like, even with the Tylenol, someone used my head for batting practice a few days ago. The muscles at the base of my neck, the headache, and a general pinata feel over the rest of my body are mine for simply being awake. Even in my sleep I sense it. And, as for sleep, there is no rest there, only fevered dreams and shallow dips into that pool, or occasional coma like sleep. Since my body is demanding so much sleep, and not getting it, perhaps just being in the sleeping position is what is making the rest of my body sore.
I have decided to do my best at taking this poison for this trial month. After which, if my b.p. has not dropped enough, and they refuse Ritalin, I will simply cancel my subscription to their pain factory again. I simply cannot and will not do more. Life is quite good without this junk, if it might be shorter. But this simply is not life at all. Perhaps, through the month, I will pick up though. I am certainly hoping so. And I am trying to fight through it. Right now, that is a losing battle. It reminds me of trying to fight through some of the worst fever flu events I have had. It is difficult, in the fevers of either, to even know what is real, exactly, what time it is, or if I am talking to someone real or one my my fever delusions.
I was not able to get out and do laundry last night or this morning. I am only able to stay awake a few hours, at least well enough to function. And then only just barely. I am trying to push how long I am awake, and I have had some recent success, but that spreads out what little strength I have over a greater period so that I am able to do far less. I suppose it would be like putting your laptop on low voltage to save battery life. Your options and it's capacity become quite limited.
I am hoping to push and get showered and then do laundry. I must smell like a varmint, as I have not been able to take my daily (preferably twice daily) shower for... a while. Maybe while I am out I will tend a few other purchases I have been meaning to make, a few items for clothing storage. I can only imagine that I will have a zombie look while I am out. Maybe that will allow me some peace from intrusion. Either that, or I will be the one shot and stacked as cord wood, to be burned. Bah, they would only wound me and make me angry. That animal side has a way of taking over, and it does not seem to be affected by what ails me. If too, it costs me greatly for that to be in control. It hearkens back to darker days, days I do not really remember or want to remember. And it uses resources as if burning a whole house to warm, rather than just using the fireplace. Costly, I tell you.
I finally finished off the Mexican food the other day. Wow is that filling. I figure, next time I order there, I will order two meals again. Only this time I will only eat about a quarter or less of it a day. The rest will feed me for a week! I mean to get in there at some point to ask about the really hot sauces (I KNOW they have it! Yipee!) and to take some time to really look over their whole menu. It is difficult to really look over the menu with someone waiting to take my order and people behind me waiting to place their order. Of course, that stuff is so filling that it really adds to my sleepiness. Perhaps I ought to only eat it at night in order to get my sleep patterns in order.
I did do some cooking tonight, this time in my cast iron skillet. I cooked lamb shoulder blade chops. They were exceedingly delicious. Along with that I brewed some of that fare trade coffee. I bought some the other day, locally, to see if it was worth the pretty nickle they ask for it. It is less expensive than in Iowa City or Coralville, but it is not cheap either. It is worth the extra pennies (dollars), and so with my French press, I have started to try and use it to boost my time out of the sack. I cannot afford the whole whipping cream here. It costs about $6.75 for a quart! I am used to it costing $2.50 a quart of so. The half and half costs more than what I am used to paying for whole whipping cream. Well, I suppose after I get over the shock, I may go back to it. At least once in a while. I have a few more lamb parts, though of a different variety, and some boneless beef ribs to cook up before long. Maybe the extra meat will help regain some strength.
If I can get things going a bit, I believe I will try to contact the sister of a friend. She lives in SLC, so it would be a bit of a drive, that is if she is interested. I am not sure how to meet and greet yet. Meals are for once the relationship has taken off. Perhaps she has some things we both might be interested in doing, say strolling a local park, going for a short hike in a well used area, or something like that. I like meeting in neutral areas where there are plenty of other people for the first several events. After that, I still like mostly group events, like dining as a group with some of her friends or family, and going the slow rout. Once trust is established, then other options can be contemplated. And, no, not those options. More like a rowboat ride, or a more private picnic. I have decided to remain celibate until married or dead, and I mean that.
Well, that is it... for a while. I will try to blog as I can, but no promises. As is, I am losing days, forgetting many things, and not always being sure of what is going on. I hope this ends up being worth my sacrifices.
Good night.
.
Nope, the pills are definitely beating me into the ground. I sleep not because I feel like it but because I simply have no choice. I do not feel groggy, I nearly pass out. I can barely get my butt up and over to the bed. The headaches are severe, as is the neck and general body pain. I would rank it at about 7 to 9. If I consume 1400 mg's of Tylenol when I can drag myself over to the kitchen, that knocks the pain down to a tolerable 2 or 4 for a while. Sometimes I am simply too exhausted to move so I suffer until I can rise. And, my body temperature has shot up. What had been a pleasant, even cool, 72 F to 76 F here in the cave has become an intolerable sweat box. I am pretty sure that even at 66 F I would be pleasantly warm if not still hot. It is not the a/c, now, it is just me.
Why the doctors do not believe me, I have no clue. I ought to ask for more Tylenol, prescription strength, when I go there next time, if everything works out. I do not want anything heavier, it causes nausea and dizziness so that the pain becomes a lesser entity. After having tried 12 or more other regimens, this is as good as it gets. I feel like, even with the Tylenol, someone used my head for batting practice a few days ago. The muscles at the base of my neck, the headache, and a general pinata feel over the rest of my body are mine for simply being awake. Even in my sleep I sense it. And, as for sleep, there is no rest there, only fevered dreams and shallow dips into that pool, or occasional coma like sleep. Since my body is demanding so much sleep, and not getting it, perhaps just being in the sleeping position is what is making the rest of my body sore.
I have decided to do my best at taking this poison for this trial month. After which, if my b.p. has not dropped enough, and they refuse Ritalin, I will simply cancel my subscription to their pain factory again. I simply cannot and will not do more. Life is quite good without this junk, if it might be shorter. But this simply is not life at all. Perhaps, through the month, I will pick up though. I am certainly hoping so. And I am trying to fight through it. Right now, that is a losing battle. It reminds me of trying to fight through some of the worst fever flu events I have had. It is difficult, in the fevers of either, to even know what is real, exactly, what time it is, or if I am talking to someone real or one my my fever delusions.
I was not able to get out and do laundry last night or this morning. I am only able to stay awake a few hours, at least well enough to function. And then only just barely. I am trying to push how long I am awake, and I have had some recent success, but that spreads out what little strength I have over a greater period so that I am able to do far less. I suppose it would be like putting your laptop on low voltage to save battery life. Your options and it's capacity become quite limited.
I am hoping to push and get showered and then do laundry. I must smell like a varmint, as I have not been able to take my daily (preferably twice daily) shower for... a while. Maybe while I am out I will tend a few other purchases I have been meaning to make, a few items for clothing storage. I can only imagine that I will have a zombie look while I am out. Maybe that will allow me some peace from intrusion. Either that, or I will be the one shot and stacked as cord wood, to be burned. Bah, they would only wound me and make me angry. That animal side has a way of taking over, and it does not seem to be affected by what ails me. If too, it costs me greatly for that to be in control. It hearkens back to darker days, days I do not really remember or want to remember. And it uses resources as if burning a whole house to warm, rather than just using the fireplace. Costly, I tell you.
I finally finished off the Mexican food the other day. Wow is that filling. I figure, next time I order there, I will order two meals again. Only this time I will only eat about a quarter or less of it a day. The rest will feed me for a week! I mean to get in there at some point to ask about the really hot sauces (I KNOW they have it! Yipee!) and to take some time to really look over their whole menu. It is difficult to really look over the menu with someone waiting to take my order and people behind me waiting to place their order. Of course, that stuff is so filling that it really adds to my sleepiness. Perhaps I ought to only eat it at night in order to get my sleep patterns in order.
I did do some cooking tonight, this time in my cast iron skillet. I cooked lamb shoulder blade chops. They were exceedingly delicious. Along with that I brewed some of that fare trade coffee. I bought some the other day, locally, to see if it was worth the pretty nickle they ask for it. It is less expensive than in Iowa City or Coralville, but it is not cheap either. It is worth the extra pennies (dollars), and so with my French press, I have started to try and use it to boost my time out of the sack. I cannot afford the whole whipping cream here. It costs about $6.75 for a quart! I am used to it costing $2.50 a quart of so. The half and half costs more than what I am used to paying for whole whipping cream. Well, I suppose after I get over the shock, I may go back to it. At least once in a while. I have a few more lamb parts, though of a different variety, and some boneless beef ribs to cook up before long. Maybe the extra meat will help regain some strength.
If I can get things going a bit, I believe I will try to contact the sister of a friend. She lives in SLC, so it would be a bit of a drive, that is if she is interested. I am not sure how to meet and greet yet. Meals are for once the relationship has taken off. Perhaps she has some things we both might be interested in doing, say strolling a local park, going for a short hike in a well used area, or something like that. I like meeting in neutral areas where there are plenty of other people for the first several events. After that, I still like mostly group events, like dining as a group with some of her friends or family, and going the slow rout. Once trust is established, then other options can be contemplated. And, no, not those options. More like a rowboat ride, or a more private picnic. I have decided to remain celibate until married or dead, and I mean that.
Well, that is it... for a while. I will try to blog as I can, but no promises. As is, I am losing days, forgetting many things, and not always being sure of what is going on. I hope this ends up being worth my sacrifices.
Good night.
More than sure.
.
.
I am almost certain now, the medicine is once again playing havoc with my ability to function. The main difference here and now is that when I am able to function, I am much more able. However, the weakness caused by standing had been eroded until I was able to stand for hours recently. That has been set back to how I was when I first started. I think I will be able to regain my strength though, at least to some degree. My hole general physical strength issue has deteriorated back to pre-move times as well. Since I started the medicine, I can only stand for perhaps an half hour rather than a couple hours or more I had worked up to. Light-headedness and shaky legs once again plague me, whether standing or doing other activities. I am not sure if it is purely the medicines, the medicines combined with a lower blood pressure, or simply the lowering blood pressure. I probably never will know which.
I still have not done my laundry. However, I believe I will load up the SUV and look for an all-nighter tonight. My sleep has been deep, uncontrollable, and frequent. But I do wake refreshed and ready to go for the few hours I can stay awake at a time. Eating too much adds to my sleepiness, though I am beginning to suspect that eating almost anything more than 3 or 4 ounces of any food is now 'too much'. This part, actually, I do not mind. I have a tendency to like larger meals and this will act as a limiter. I am miserable when in another city or place, needing to drive, and yet very tired. This will make me think twice about even ordering a minor meal. I will want to eat just a taste of food. Drinking lots of water and other fluid does not seem to have the same impact, however. I suppose, then, that I can fill up on fluids if need be. That is not a bad plan anyway, out here in the desert.
I know my doctors have all just wanted me to trust them. The problem is, and any of them really, they do not deserve my trust. They said these medicines would have nearly no affect. Either, like Mom's often do, they lied or they simply do not know what they are talking about. Trust is earned, not given, and they certainly have failed on every single health issue I have and have had. From infections to high blood pressure to diabetes to my main complaint, they have simply been unable and at times unwilling to help. They completely ignore what I am telling them, and might as well say "If they are hungry, let them eat cake", though put to medical terms. I have to wonder how many people completely dismiss doctors after having dealt with dozens of them like that. They honestly do not know what they are doing. They read what they "know" in some book and think it is a one size fits all, especially in the socialized medical fields like the V.A. (since I or my family cannot sue if they cut off the wrong limb, remove the wrong organ, or even kill us due to gross negligence!).
I am honestly praying that the rest of you are not shoved into the type of medical practices where your death and lack of health is considered a personal problem, and you cannot even sue when you really should be able to do so. Where a doctor can and regularly does ignore everything you tell them. And where one medicine should be just fine for all of you, no matter if it works or not. I will give them that they tried many medicines, or one doctor there (who left the system did) most worse than the one I am on. But they know that adding Ritalin helped and did not cause adverse health affects for over a year and a half. I think their problem is that I am honest about them being dolts and rude. If the shoe fits, I always say.
Well, enough grumbling. I ought to get showered, dressed, and see if I can find a 24 hour laundromat. There is a chance I will have it to myself!
Later.
.
I am almost certain now, the medicine is once again playing havoc with my ability to function. The main difference here and now is that when I am able to function, I am much more able. However, the weakness caused by standing had been eroded until I was able to stand for hours recently. That has been set back to how I was when I first started. I think I will be able to regain my strength though, at least to some degree. My hole general physical strength issue has deteriorated back to pre-move times as well. Since I started the medicine, I can only stand for perhaps an half hour rather than a couple hours or more I had worked up to. Light-headedness and shaky legs once again plague me, whether standing or doing other activities. I am not sure if it is purely the medicines, the medicines combined with a lower blood pressure, or simply the lowering blood pressure. I probably never will know which.
I still have not done my laundry. However, I believe I will load up the SUV and look for an all-nighter tonight. My sleep has been deep, uncontrollable, and frequent. But I do wake refreshed and ready to go for the few hours I can stay awake at a time. Eating too much adds to my sleepiness, though I am beginning to suspect that eating almost anything more than 3 or 4 ounces of any food is now 'too much'. This part, actually, I do not mind. I have a tendency to like larger meals and this will act as a limiter. I am miserable when in another city or place, needing to drive, and yet very tired. This will make me think twice about even ordering a minor meal. I will want to eat just a taste of food. Drinking lots of water and other fluid does not seem to have the same impact, however. I suppose, then, that I can fill up on fluids if need be. That is not a bad plan anyway, out here in the desert.
I know my doctors have all just wanted me to trust them. The problem is, and any of them really, they do not deserve my trust. They said these medicines would have nearly no affect. Either, like Mom's often do, they lied or they simply do not know what they are talking about. Trust is earned, not given, and they certainly have failed on every single health issue I have and have had. From infections to high blood pressure to diabetes to my main complaint, they have simply been unable and at times unwilling to help. They completely ignore what I am telling them, and might as well say "If they are hungry, let them eat cake", though put to medical terms. I have to wonder how many people completely dismiss doctors after having dealt with dozens of them like that. They honestly do not know what they are doing. They read what they "know" in some book and think it is a one size fits all, especially in the socialized medical fields like the V.A. (since I or my family cannot sue if they cut off the wrong limb, remove the wrong organ, or even kill us due to gross negligence!).
I am honestly praying that the rest of you are not shoved into the type of medical practices where your death and lack of health is considered a personal problem, and you cannot even sue when you really should be able to do so. Where a doctor can and regularly does ignore everything you tell them. And where one medicine should be just fine for all of you, no matter if it works or not. I will give them that they tried many medicines, or one doctor there (who left the system did) most worse than the one I am on. But they know that adding Ritalin helped and did not cause adverse health affects for over a year and a half. I think their problem is that I am honest about them being dolts and rude. If the shoe fits, I always say.
Well, enough grumbling. I ought to get showered, dressed, and see if I can find a 24 hour laundromat. There is a chance I will have it to myself!
Later.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Perhaps the pill is not so hunky dory.
.
.
Sleep has been odd lately, though that is not necessarily due to the pills. And, that old internal fire is back, though it has only happened once so far. My body is achy, possibly due to sleeping so hard I do not roll. That may or may not be due to the medicine. And I can tell I am snoring as the back of my throat needs pickle juice treatments, several of them, during the day to tend the dryness, that is my telltale sign. Maybe none of that has anything to do with the medicine, but I am beginning to believe it is the medicine. Still, if I can limp by for a while, (which I think I can, we will see) I will. It is only if I stop being mostly functional when I will consider d.c'ing the stuff. I want that b.p. lower, and I will sacrifice for it.
I only just woke up in time to get my neighbor to his bank. The branch he goes to usually, the closer and easier one, is closed on the weekend. I had a relatively severe headache but I knew he needed the ride. The headache is either due to neck muscle strain or (and more likely) not rolling as I should while I sleep. Log like sleep always finds me waking up cranky. After I returned, I napped until I received a knock on the door. It was the missionaries.
I invited them in and we had a good hour, mostly religious with some political, discussion. I have been told that I may not read the Book of Mormon, and I have told them this as well. I was discussing this with someone who I considered my religious adviser and that is what was suggested. I abide by it, though I allow them to read from it. It is an interesting book. But, as I have said, I do not abide it as a religious text for myself.
I have suggested how Christianity and capitalism are comingled, as I see it. Both offer opportunity and both can lead correctly or end in absolute failure. Both are for free men, allowing choice even whether to join the Church or not or whether to work by oneself, with others as an employee, or to not work. Though there are prices to be paid for any choice. And, Christianity, when fulfilled, creates. Both through birth and through sharing of labor. Capitalism is also creative. The options, such as atheism and socialism/communism, are destructive. They, in essence, attempt to tear all of the edifices of community, religion, work ethic, education, and sex separation down in order to build a man made edifice. That edifice is banality, sloth, disregard for all but oneself, poverty, and slavery. The choices are clear. That is why so many who stand against Christianity also stand against capitalism.
I do like that these young Mormons go out and attempt to spread the word. We have differences in belief. For me, I would rather see anyone become Mormon rather than to remain lost. If nothing else, perhaps these young people may help remind people of their faith and what it requires, whatever their religion. Though I cannot follow their faith, I can certainly pray they help people in this manner and that they have a safe and learning experience in the process. I highly recommend letting these people visit and being kind to them. If nothing else, for sympathy (or empathy) to all the real leg work they do. And, that they really are doing this leg work for you and for God as they understand him. At least offer them a glass of water, soda, or something. Sheesh!
I am glad they rang, though at first I must admit I was not. I thought I wanted sleep. But no, I enjoy company, and company of faith, a great deal. Plus, I might get my laundry done and those letters and the card mailed. :P
Have a great day!
.
Sleep has been odd lately, though that is not necessarily due to the pills. And, that old internal fire is back, though it has only happened once so far. My body is achy, possibly due to sleeping so hard I do not roll. That may or may not be due to the medicine. And I can tell I am snoring as the back of my throat needs pickle juice treatments, several of them, during the day to tend the dryness, that is my telltale sign. Maybe none of that has anything to do with the medicine, but I am beginning to believe it is the medicine. Still, if I can limp by for a while, (which I think I can, we will see) I will. It is only if I stop being mostly functional when I will consider d.c'ing the stuff. I want that b.p. lower, and I will sacrifice for it.
I only just woke up in time to get my neighbor to his bank. The branch he goes to usually, the closer and easier one, is closed on the weekend. I had a relatively severe headache but I knew he needed the ride. The headache is either due to neck muscle strain or (and more likely) not rolling as I should while I sleep. Log like sleep always finds me waking up cranky. After I returned, I napped until I received a knock on the door. It was the missionaries.
I invited them in and we had a good hour, mostly religious with some political, discussion. I have been told that I may not read the Book of Mormon, and I have told them this as well. I was discussing this with someone who I considered my religious adviser and that is what was suggested. I abide by it, though I allow them to read from it. It is an interesting book. But, as I have said, I do not abide it as a religious text for myself.
I have suggested how Christianity and capitalism are comingled, as I see it. Both offer opportunity and both can lead correctly or end in absolute failure. Both are for free men, allowing choice even whether to join the Church or not or whether to work by oneself, with others as an employee, or to not work. Though there are prices to be paid for any choice. And, Christianity, when fulfilled, creates. Both through birth and through sharing of labor. Capitalism is also creative. The options, such as atheism and socialism/communism, are destructive. They, in essence, attempt to tear all of the edifices of community, religion, work ethic, education, and sex separation down in order to build a man made edifice. That edifice is banality, sloth, disregard for all but oneself, poverty, and slavery. The choices are clear. That is why so many who stand against Christianity also stand against capitalism.
I do like that these young Mormons go out and attempt to spread the word. We have differences in belief. For me, I would rather see anyone become Mormon rather than to remain lost. If nothing else, perhaps these young people may help remind people of their faith and what it requires, whatever their religion. Though I cannot follow their faith, I can certainly pray they help people in this manner and that they have a safe and learning experience in the process. I highly recommend letting these people visit and being kind to them. If nothing else, for sympathy (or empathy) to all the real leg work they do. And, that they really are doing this leg work for you and for God as they understand him. At least offer them a glass of water, soda, or something. Sheesh!
I am glad they rang, though at first I must admit I was not. I thought I wanted sleep. But no, I enjoy company, and company of faith, a great deal. Plus, I might get my laundry done and those letters and the card mailed. :P
Have a great day!
Some sleep, some not.
.
.
I slept well for about 3 hours. I then woke hot, thirsty, and with a bit of a cranky body. Oh, and I was still over full. The short sleep is something with which I am familiar. The hot cranky body, that too I know though it has been over a month since I experienced that (as an internal rather than external thing anyway). But being that full still, that surprised me. I actually at less than half of the two meals I ordered, the rest is to be lunch and probably dinner tomorrow. That was simply very filling food! But it is good, once in a while, to actually be full. It tasted good and I probably ate faster than my stomach could warn me. That might be why I literally fell asleep though. If I do not like how I awoke, or why, I am glad I did. I had forgotten to take my medicine. I had to count to check, as I had thought I had taken it, but one too many pills told the story. And if I am cantankerous about that stuff, I am trying to give it an honest second chance. Not only did I promise, I have my own hopes that it will work, somehow, out here.
While drinking water, cooling off, and waking up, I thought I would play some minor games. Then I realized I could use the time more fruitfully. I first grabbed the birthday card for my Mom and filled it out. It is one of those nice ones that Mom's like. I wrote some well wishes of my own and then thought to add a check. I decided on $50. Fifty dollars! Wow, things have sure gone up. I almost 'forgot' to send the check, but my better angel talked better than my devil, though it was somewhat of an near accident. I added some funnies about that on the back of the card. Knowing her as I do, when she finds it sometime (or more likely someone points it out), she will have a good laugh. Then I, too, wished her good luck cashing the check. Ha! And, no, she will have no trouble cashing it in reality. My devil had to at least play if he could not have his way. Ha.
I then got busy on the transcript mailings. I knocked those out easily, not even needing to toss one of the envelopes due to a major mess up. Still, I waited until each one was addressed before placing a stamp on the thing. I hate having to try to pull off and then re-stick (usually end up taping) the stamp onto another envelope. I added a check for the one that required it, but the rest went without money. If they are going to make it impossible to find any fees associated with sending transcripts and make it difficult to contact someone on the phone about it, they get what they get. I can always pay a fee with my debit/credit card if they call and need money.
Now, to relax and try to get back to sleep. I need to be up early tomorrow to give my neighbor a ride to his downtown bank. Though he rides his bike most places, this place is on Main and is murder to cross, almost literally, and at all times of the sun-up day and sometimes into the night. Being a weekend, it will be more so if that is possible. We will probably load up and head for the hills, shooting is on the menu. Or, we will load up with laundry first, as he would like to go too, saving the shooting for the evening or maybe Sunday.
It is supposed to rain this weekend, again, with temperatures dropping into the 70's. When it rains here, it is rather light, sporadic, and a non-issue, at least in the summer. Due to the cooling, that is when I like to be out. My neighbor always gets a bit worried about it. I should tease and ask if he is allergic to water, if he says no, than I will ask if he melts in rain? It depends on if he is in a funny mood or not. Well, maybe I will ask even if he is not.
Good night, again.
.
I slept well for about 3 hours. I then woke hot, thirsty, and with a bit of a cranky body. Oh, and I was still over full. The short sleep is something with which I am familiar. The hot cranky body, that too I know though it has been over a month since I experienced that (as an internal rather than external thing anyway). But being that full still, that surprised me. I actually at less than half of the two meals I ordered, the rest is to be lunch and probably dinner tomorrow. That was simply very filling food! But it is good, once in a while, to actually be full. It tasted good and I probably ate faster than my stomach could warn me. That might be why I literally fell asleep though. If I do not like how I awoke, or why, I am glad I did. I had forgotten to take my medicine. I had to count to check, as I had thought I had taken it, but one too many pills told the story. And if I am cantankerous about that stuff, I am trying to give it an honest second chance. Not only did I promise, I have my own hopes that it will work, somehow, out here.
While drinking water, cooling off, and waking up, I thought I would play some minor games. Then I realized I could use the time more fruitfully. I first grabbed the birthday card for my Mom and filled it out. It is one of those nice ones that Mom's like. I wrote some well wishes of my own and then thought to add a check. I decided on $50. Fifty dollars! Wow, things have sure gone up. I almost 'forgot' to send the check, but my better angel talked better than my devil, though it was somewhat of an near accident. I added some funnies about that on the back of the card. Knowing her as I do, when she finds it sometime (or more likely someone points it out), she will have a good laugh. Then I, too, wished her good luck cashing the check. Ha! And, no, she will have no trouble cashing it in reality. My devil had to at least play if he could not have his way. Ha.
I then got busy on the transcript mailings. I knocked those out easily, not even needing to toss one of the envelopes due to a major mess up. Still, I waited until each one was addressed before placing a stamp on the thing. I hate having to try to pull off and then re-stick (usually end up taping) the stamp onto another envelope. I added a check for the one that required it, but the rest went without money. If they are going to make it impossible to find any fees associated with sending transcripts and make it difficult to contact someone on the phone about it, they get what they get. I can always pay a fee with my debit/credit card if they call and need money.
Now, to relax and try to get back to sleep. I need to be up early tomorrow to give my neighbor a ride to his downtown bank. Though he rides his bike most places, this place is on Main and is murder to cross, almost literally, and at all times of the sun-up day and sometimes into the night. Being a weekend, it will be more so if that is possible. We will probably load up and head for the hills, shooting is on the menu. Or, we will load up with laundry first, as he would like to go too, saving the shooting for the evening or maybe Sunday.
It is supposed to rain this weekend, again, with temperatures dropping into the 70's. When it rains here, it is rather light, sporadic, and a non-issue, at least in the summer. Due to the cooling, that is when I like to be out. My neighbor always gets a bit worried about it. I should tease and ask if he is allergic to water, if he says no, than I will ask if he melts in rain? It depends on if he is in a funny mood or not. Well, maybe I will ask even if he is not.
Good night, again.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Well...
.
.
I tried. I simply could not sleep last night. I am not too worried about it, or really, worried about it at all. Today was a nothing day and I did enjoy it. I had one minor success, or return on effort. After emailing one of the schools I attended, one which did not have, exactly, a transcript request form, I received an email back indicating that the lady on the other end would be sending both USU and myself transcripts. And by the time I woke up and got going, it was too late to get any of my other business started or finished, I asked my neighbor if he would be interested in a drive. He was.
We went up a canyon, several over from the closest one, and then took a side road up another canyon, one which I have not been in. It was later so the sun was offering less and less light. By the time we turned around it was pretty much dark outside. It was a fun drive. And it was off-road if not limited to four wheel drive vehicles. It was fun driving back out of the canyon in the dark, too. I remember walking such roads in my youth, and how spooky it was. Even in the Xterra, it is a little spooky. But when walking, at least in areas where there are not campers camped every 40 yards, I could hear the critters. A snap here, a crunch there, and once in a while a snap that must have been a log. I never investigated, and to this day I am pretty sure I do not want to know what caused the louder sounds.
I think my neighbor really enjoys getting out. He says he does not know much, but he does. He knows the name of this canyon, that draw, where the path here leads, and what is around the bend. Things have changed, but the big things do not. Even if they happened to, for some reason, turn a valley into a parking lot, it would still be the valley. He tells of times he would go hunting. Tonight, for example, he explained that if you followed a trail (only good for horses and hiking) you would come across to Logan Canyon. And, in that area where it comes out he shot a deer. It was getting late, and he did not actually want it so he gave it to the uncle he was hunting with, but they could not get it out that night. So, they buried it in snow and got it the next day. He used to hunt, shoot, hike, and camp in many of the places around. He likes going out and looking around, a lot.
If I can sleep tonight I will be very happy. If not, I could get to laundry if I can at least get a few hours of sleep in. I would like to do laundry tomorrow, rather than tonight though, and maybe some shooting. I also bought a inexpensive filing cabinet tonight, with folders for it. I also bought those envelopes I had been thinking about, and some laces for my better shoes in preparation for attending Church, and a birthday card for my Mom. It may take me some time, but I usually get things done. I started straightening the cave today as well. For the vacuum cleaner, though, I wanted something to hold the bag on. It is older, a spare my neighbor had been meaning to toss or give away. He could no longer find bags at the vacuum cleaner center he frequented either. I found both bags and something to hold them on at Wal-Mart.
For a change in food, I went to a Mexican restaurant with a drive through. I had seen a number of Mexican food places here that I been meaning to try. The first one I tried, I could tell, was all canned stuff. So I was a little nervous about trying another. The place I ordered from tonight was excellent. Authentic from the way they made things (deep frying the hard shell tacos) to the sauces. You know I will be back there from time to time.
I know it is a failing. I know it is a slipping of my will. But I also know that whether tomorrow or the next day, in real time, I will be back to being busy. I simply know it here. It is not an expectation or a hope, it is a sure thing. Though I have learned to be forgiving of my failings, now I can be forgiving and sure that it will be a short lived crash. God has been good to me, he has called me to be where I need to be, and so it is.
I am absolutely stuffed. I actually ordered two meals. I only ate less than half. Despite wanting to eat more (a lot more), it simply was not in me. Even eating the small portion I ate has filled me beyond capacity! Both my stomach is shrinking and that food was extra filling. Yes, I will certainly eat there again. I might even go in and sit down next time. I will probably end up trying all of their food. I know already. Plus, I bet they have even hotter sauces available if you know what to ask for.
Have a good night!
*crash*
.
I tried. I simply could not sleep last night. I am not too worried about it, or really, worried about it at all. Today was a nothing day and I did enjoy it. I had one minor success, or return on effort. After emailing one of the schools I attended, one which did not have, exactly, a transcript request form, I received an email back indicating that the lady on the other end would be sending both USU and myself transcripts. And by the time I woke up and got going, it was too late to get any of my other business started or finished, I asked my neighbor if he would be interested in a drive. He was.
We went up a canyon, several over from the closest one, and then took a side road up another canyon, one which I have not been in. It was later so the sun was offering less and less light. By the time we turned around it was pretty much dark outside. It was a fun drive. And it was off-road if not limited to four wheel drive vehicles. It was fun driving back out of the canyon in the dark, too. I remember walking such roads in my youth, and how spooky it was. Even in the Xterra, it is a little spooky. But when walking, at least in areas where there are not campers camped every 40 yards, I could hear the critters. A snap here, a crunch there, and once in a while a snap that must have been a log. I never investigated, and to this day I am pretty sure I do not want to know what caused the louder sounds.
I think my neighbor really enjoys getting out. He says he does not know much, but he does. He knows the name of this canyon, that draw, where the path here leads, and what is around the bend. Things have changed, but the big things do not. Even if they happened to, for some reason, turn a valley into a parking lot, it would still be the valley. He tells of times he would go hunting. Tonight, for example, he explained that if you followed a trail (only good for horses and hiking) you would come across to Logan Canyon. And, in that area where it comes out he shot a deer. It was getting late, and he did not actually want it so he gave it to the uncle he was hunting with, but they could not get it out that night. So, they buried it in snow and got it the next day. He used to hunt, shoot, hike, and camp in many of the places around. He likes going out and looking around, a lot.
If I can sleep tonight I will be very happy. If not, I could get to laundry if I can at least get a few hours of sleep in. I would like to do laundry tomorrow, rather than tonight though, and maybe some shooting. I also bought a inexpensive filing cabinet tonight, with folders for it. I also bought those envelopes I had been thinking about, and some laces for my better shoes in preparation for attending Church, and a birthday card for my Mom. It may take me some time, but I usually get things done. I started straightening the cave today as well. For the vacuum cleaner, though, I wanted something to hold the bag on. It is older, a spare my neighbor had been meaning to toss or give away. He could no longer find bags at the vacuum cleaner center he frequented either. I found both bags and something to hold them on at Wal-Mart.
For a change in food, I went to a Mexican restaurant with a drive through. I had seen a number of Mexican food places here that I been meaning to try. The first one I tried, I could tell, was all canned stuff. So I was a little nervous about trying another. The place I ordered from tonight was excellent. Authentic from the way they made things (deep frying the hard shell tacos) to the sauces. You know I will be back there from time to time.
I know it is a failing. I know it is a slipping of my will. But I also know that whether tomorrow or the next day, in real time, I will be back to being busy. I simply know it here. It is not an expectation or a hope, it is a sure thing. Though I have learned to be forgiving of my failings, now I can be forgiving and sure that it will be a short lived crash. God has been good to me, he has called me to be where I need to be, and so it is.
I am absolutely stuffed. I actually ordered two meals. I only ate less than half. Despite wanting to eat more (a lot more), it simply was not in me. Even eating the small portion I ate has filled me beyond capacity! Both my stomach is shrinking and that food was extra filling. Yes, I will certainly eat there again. I might even go in and sit down next time. I will probably end up trying all of their food. I know already. Plus, I bet they have even hotter sauces available if you know what to ask for.
Have a good night!
*crash*
Thursday, August 13, 2009
One step ahead of the game.
.
.
Rather than call back to NICS or talking to the policemen at the station, I went online and started investigating who to talk to about the matter, what I could do, what forms are needed, and a few other things. I finally ended up at NRA's main page and began digging there. I found a link to BATFE, and from there found a link to NICS's pages. I searched around just a short bit and then hit on what I need. There are, really, two forms which will help in the process. It indicates that the fingerprints may or may not be needed, but that they will (whether needed or not, I must assume, they just love collecting biometrics) hasten the process.
So, tomorrow, after a blood draw in Ogden, I will be smiling at some police officers. Asking, could you please fingerprint me. I will hold my tongue further. I feel like saying, should they ask, that I have been a bad boy and I want to see if they caught me. *chuckles* But I WILL NOT say that. *I will keep telling myself that this is no laughing matter :p* If it were not so frustrating, it would be funny. Well, okay, it is a little funny too. Hmm, I ought to find out if a mug shot will work for passports and if so, see if they would do one of those too. Ha.
I will try and finish those request for transcript forms by finding the costs of the last two sets of transcripts before I head to Ogden, failing that, I will try again when I get back and before going to the police station. I will try to remember to get envelopes sometime in there. And I also need to remember to check my podiatry appointment either while in Ogden or sometime by phone. If all goes rather smoothly, I am hoping to get some target practice, a drive, or some fishing in. Probably just a drive as everyone and their uncle, great uncle, sister, and three dogs gets out on the weekends. It is nice to see if a little annoying.
.
Rather than call back to NICS or talking to the policemen at the station, I went online and started investigating who to talk to about the matter, what I could do, what forms are needed, and a few other things. I finally ended up at NRA's main page and began digging there. I found a link to BATFE, and from there found a link to NICS's pages. I searched around just a short bit and then hit on what I need. There are, really, two forms which will help in the process. It indicates that the fingerprints may or may not be needed, but that they will (whether needed or not, I must assume, they just love collecting biometrics) hasten the process.
So, tomorrow, after a blood draw in Ogden, I will be smiling at some police officers. Asking, could you please fingerprint me. I will hold my tongue further. I feel like saying, should they ask, that I have been a bad boy and I want to see if they caught me. *chuckles* But I WILL NOT say that. *I will keep telling myself that this is no laughing matter :p* If it were not so frustrating, it would be funny. Well, okay, it is a little funny too. Hmm, I ought to find out if a mug shot will work for passports and if so, see if they would do one of those too. Ha.
I will try and finish those request for transcript forms by finding the costs of the last two sets of transcripts before I head to Ogden, failing that, I will try again when I get back and before going to the police station. I will try to remember to get envelopes sometime in there. And I also need to remember to check my podiatry appointment either while in Ogden or sometime by phone. If all goes rather smoothly, I am hoping to get some target practice, a drive, or some fishing in. Probably just a drive as everyone and their uncle, great uncle, sister, and three dogs gets out on the weekends. It is nice to see if a little annoying.
Some things I have not been saying.
.
.
I know I write about how well I am doing here. And, that is true. I explain how I have been able to do much more, begin activities I had always hoped to do, and that I am both adding new activities, taking care of standard business, and expanding my business so as to fulfill new and old hopes. There are some things I have not been telling.
My body is still somewhat weak. My legs get tired and begin shaking after longer periods of standing and such. My body, in general, still has a general weakness to it. I despise this. Until I get more active, that is probably just the way it will be. Compared to Iowa though, I am really in much better shape.
As well, my feet are still a problem. Though I may have discussed this, it is difficult to tell you how painful it is to be walking on my toenails half of the time. And that awkward means of walking, mostly on my heals, has a way of pounding the feet in the same place and a lot. My feet often still feel as if they are on fire. If I can get the podiatry clinic to schedule surgeries on dates which will not interfere with school or next early spring (I hope to be back and in better shape for the Colorado Springs white-water event), I will jump on that.
My other health issues have probably worsened as well. I am starting on medicine, so I will just have to see about that. If that goes well, I will begin treatments for anything else that ails me. There is a darker side here, regarding life and all, but I do believe it will be more temporary than not. It is too early to tell about the medications, but so far the only problem which might or might not have been from starting the medication was an unusual type of headache. I have been having it off and from about an hour after taking the medicine. It is a non-spot specific general forward in the head headache. Usually mine are left sided, back to front like a bullet going through, lightning strikes, dull constant thuds in the same areas and as described above, or migraines in the same place with that same movement as well. But this new one is minor, very temporary, and I think Tylenol would cure it if needed. It feels more like 'frozen brain', the symptom one gets from eating very cold ice cream or such on a very hot day.
I am getting physically stronger every day. But it is a struggle. I think when I get to hiking, and can begin weight training and swimming, and when I begin doing setups and push-ups, I will do much better much quicker. It really is too hot to be pushing like that, currently, for me. I would end up just causing a general shutdown. Then again, even when I make those regular events, they will always be a struggle. It never does get easy.
The good side so outweighs the bad side though, that I have not mentioned the rest. And, with how things are going, I have a good shot and making even the bad side rather temporary. I almost wonder, sometimes, if some of you question whether I am the same guy who has been grumbling, fomenting trouble, and whining for the last few years? My blog must seem like an almost foreign page. If it is any help, I wonder what has happened too. I do not know, but I like it.
.
I know I write about how well I am doing here. And, that is true. I explain how I have been able to do much more, begin activities I had always hoped to do, and that I am both adding new activities, taking care of standard business, and expanding my business so as to fulfill new and old hopes. There are some things I have not been telling.
My body is still somewhat weak. My legs get tired and begin shaking after longer periods of standing and such. My body, in general, still has a general weakness to it. I despise this. Until I get more active, that is probably just the way it will be. Compared to Iowa though, I am really in much better shape.
As well, my feet are still a problem. Though I may have discussed this, it is difficult to tell you how painful it is to be walking on my toenails half of the time. And that awkward means of walking, mostly on my heals, has a way of pounding the feet in the same place and a lot. My feet often still feel as if they are on fire. If I can get the podiatry clinic to schedule surgeries on dates which will not interfere with school or next early spring (I hope to be back and in better shape for the Colorado Springs white-water event), I will jump on that.
My other health issues have probably worsened as well. I am starting on medicine, so I will just have to see about that. If that goes well, I will begin treatments for anything else that ails me. There is a darker side here, regarding life and all, but I do believe it will be more temporary than not. It is too early to tell about the medications, but so far the only problem which might or might not have been from starting the medication was an unusual type of headache. I have been having it off and from about an hour after taking the medicine. It is a non-spot specific general forward in the head headache. Usually mine are left sided, back to front like a bullet going through, lightning strikes, dull constant thuds in the same areas and as described above, or migraines in the same place with that same movement as well. But this new one is minor, very temporary, and I think Tylenol would cure it if needed. It feels more like 'frozen brain', the symptom one gets from eating very cold ice cream or such on a very hot day.
I am getting physically stronger every day. But it is a struggle. I think when I get to hiking, and can begin weight training and swimming, and when I begin doing setups and push-ups, I will do much better much quicker. It really is too hot to be pushing like that, currently, for me. I would end up just causing a general shutdown. Then again, even when I make those regular events, they will always be a struggle. It never does get easy.
The good side so outweighs the bad side though, that I have not mentioned the rest. And, with how things are going, I have a good shot and making even the bad side rather temporary. I almost wonder, sometimes, if some of you question whether I am the same guy who has been grumbling, fomenting trouble, and whining for the last few years? My blog must seem like an almost foreign page. If it is any help, I wonder what has happened too. I do not know, but I like it.
One thing leads to another, and so on, and then you die.
.
.
But there is no reason you cannot enjoy the trip!
I had been working on transcript forms all morning. Mostly I was filling them out, checking for details, and trying to place calls to know how much money, if any, to send along with the requests. The phone calls ended up being busts. I was either switched around to the wrong places perpetually then disconnected or put on hold (one time for 15 minutes) so long that I simply hung up. So it goes. All forms are filled out though, and I could send two of the forms as they indicate what the costs will be, but I am waiting to send them all at once. Well, that and I do not have envelopes yet. I did buy the stamps! Yea me! :P
I also went to the store, with my neighbor, drove him to another place he wanted to go beside the post office and grocery store. It is getting later so I will not be doing the fingerprints today. I am pleased with this day anyway. It was to be a slow day, and though it is, I am still yielding fruits and doing minor labors.
I received a reply from my new to be landlady acknowledging my acceptance of her offer. She indicated she knew a grad student who would be arriving in mid-October who might be interested in my contract though she wanted particulars regarding my apartment. I gave her those, and made sure she realized this apartment is very close to the University. And, to add bribery to pleading, I suggested that I would allow the grad student to finish out the month of October without rent and would add in half of my deposit as incentive for taking the place. It may seem generous and perhaps it is, but seeing that I will not need the deposit as I will not be paying a new deposit and that I might have to be paying the rent through October without a renter to take over along with utilities, and further rent and utilities throughout the year until a renter appears, it behooves me to be generous. Though I like being generous or kind, this is just an indication of why businesses are or should be kind. This affair is, after all, business.
Oh, I received the weirdest call today. The podiatry clinic in Iowa City called and asked if I was going in for surgery tomorrow. What? I called and let the V.A. Hospital there know I was moving before I left. Further, I had received no notice that I was to even have a surgery. What in the world? I did receive a notice that I had a podiatry clinic appointment, but there was nothing in the letter about surgery. As I told the woman, and she was kind enough, I cannot call every clinic which might have me listed and that I had not been notified of a surgery, only an appointment. I did tell both the dental and eye clinic I was moving, though only because I just happened to have appointments with them at the time I realized I was moving. And then I called my primary care clinic with both the date of my move and the city and state I was moving to. What more can I do?
There ended up being no need to call the V.A. in Salt Lake City. I had thought I had been scheduled for September 7th, but when reviewing my electronic calender, I see that I am actually scheduled for (podiatry of all things) on the 1st. Still, just because I had some doubts I will check on that at the Ogden clinic tomorrow. It is far better to ask and have everything good than to not ask and have everything go wrong.
What a day. Now to relax a bit and just shoot the breeze (even if the breeze is artificial, it is cooling and pleasant).
.
But there is no reason you cannot enjoy the trip!
I had been working on transcript forms all morning. Mostly I was filling them out, checking for details, and trying to place calls to know how much money, if any, to send along with the requests. The phone calls ended up being busts. I was either switched around to the wrong places perpetually then disconnected or put on hold (one time for 15 minutes) so long that I simply hung up. So it goes. All forms are filled out though, and I could send two of the forms as they indicate what the costs will be, but I am waiting to send them all at once. Well, that and I do not have envelopes yet. I did buy the stamps! Yea me! :P
I also went to the store, with my neighbor, drove him to another place he wanted to go beside the post office and grocery store. It is getting later so I will not be doing the fingerprints today. I am pleased with this day anyway. It was to be a slow day, and though it is, I am still yielding fruits and doing minor labors.
I received a reply from my new to be landlady acknowledging my acceptance of her offer. She indicated she knew a grad student who would be arriving in mid-October who might be interested in my contract though she wanted particulars regarding my apartment. I gave her those, and made sure she realized this apartment is very close to the University. And, to add bribery to pleading, I suggested that I would allow the grad student to finish out the month of October without rent and would add in half of my deposit as incentive for taking the place. It may seem generous and perhaps it is, but seeing that I will not need the deposit as I will not be paying a new deposit and that I might have to be paying the rent through October without a renter to take over along with utilities, and further rent and utilities throughout the year until a renter appears, it behooves me to be generous. Though I like being generous or kind, this is just an indication of why businesses are or should be kind. This affair is, after all, business.
Oh, I received the weirdest call today. The podiatry clinic in Iowa City called and asked if I was going in for surgery tomorrow. What? I called and let the V.A. Hospital there know I was moving before I left. Further, I had received no notice that I was to even have a surgery. What in the world? I did receive a notice that I had a podiatry clinic appointment, but there was nothing in the letter about surgery. As I told the woman, and she was kind enough, I cannot call every clinic which might have me listed and that I had not been notified of a surgery, only an appointment. I did tell both the dental and eye clinic I was moving, though only because I just happened to have appointments with them at the time I realized I was moving. And then I called my primary care clinic with both the date of my move and the city and state I was moving to. What more can I do?
There ended up being no need to call the V.A. in Salt Lake City. I had thought I had been scheduled for September 7th, but when reviewing my electronic calender, I see that I am actually scheduled for (podiatry of all things) on the 1st. Still, just because I had some doubts I will check on that at the Ogden clinic tomorrow. It is far better to ask and have everything good than to not ask and have everything go wrong.
What a day. Now to relax a bit and just shoot the breeze (even if the breeze is artificial, it is cooling and pleasant).
Winding down, but busy.
.
.
I could not quite pry myself up and over to my bed. I know when it is not quite time. And though winding down, I decided to do more than just tinker. Wasting time is no longer an option in my new busy life. Instead I found the links to my old colleges, searched for the transcript request forms, downloaded the three that had them for that, and was able to fill one of them out before printing it. Well, minus the signature. I need to place a call for that last one. As well, I have filled out most of the application to attend USU this spring. The online form rejects my high school's registration number and a few other items, so I will probably have to call and then visit the school. How is that for productivity? Some of the application required a bit of creativity and some research. I am surprised at what I am able to accomplish these days, if I am still an ant to mainstream folk, I was much less before.
Now, however, it is time to sleep. I did take the Lisinopril too. I will try to rise early, tomorrow, just to begin getting into that manner of living. Rising by 9:00 or 10:00 is my temporary goal. I have many things I am working on and that extra day time will help. I am hoping for contact back from my newest renter to be.
Tomorrow, though it is technically a day of rest, I hope to finish the request for transcript forms and have them either in the mail or ready to mail. To whit I need stamps and envelopes. I would also like to stop at the police station for those formalities. I need to correct an appointment mistake, I am scheduled for an appointment with podiatry on the Monday of the Labor Day three day weekend, a definite mistake. Laundry needs cleaned if I do not get to it tonight. I will probably be driving my neighbor to the store in order for him to buy milk and maybe somewhere else as well. I think there are a few other minor things but they are not coming to me. I should start making lists and prioritizing. I am becoming a very busy man.
On Friday I will be driving to Ogden for blood work. I may go shooting when I get back, or fishing. But Saturday is a day of rest. Maybe Sunday too. Then back at it like a lumber jack with a chain saw Monday. You know, I just might make it. I just might pull it off. I might really pick up my crutches, put them under my arm, and simply walk into a new healthy world. Who would have guessed? And all because I had some silly dreams of mountains, cold wind, and snow which ended up leading me here, several years after they manifested my resolve. Those were some powerful dreams. I really had to work to rise from the depths to follow them, and it took a small army of friends who worked their tails off to get me launched toward Utah. I savor the dreams to this day. In the winter, in the mountains, I will find my truth, and maybe my life and health. And I am dearly terribly wonderfully grateful for friends, dear, hardworking, good friends.
Good night. Dream wise dreams, whether you are of little faith or completely devoid of a lack of faith. God speaks if we will but listen. Shhhh... Rest well.
.
I could not quite pry myself up and over to my bed. I know when it is not quite time. And though winding down, I decided to do more than just tinker. Wasting time is no longer an option in my new busy life. Instead I found the links to my old colleges, searched for the transcript request forms, downloaded the three that had them for that, and was able to fill one of them out before printing it. Well, minus the signature. I need to place a call for that last one. As well, I have filled out most of the application to attend USU this spring. The online form rejects my high school's registration number and a few other items, so I will probably have to call and then visit the school. How is that for productivity? Some of the application required a bit of creativity and some research. I am surprised at what I am able to accomplish these days, if I am still an ant to mainstream folk, I was much less before.
Now, however, it is time to sleep. I did take the Lisinopril too. I will try to rise early, tomorrow, just to begin getting into that manner of living. Rising by 9:00 or 10:00 is my temporary goal. I have many things I am working on and that extra day time will help. I am hoping for contact back from my newest renter to be.
Tomorrow, though it is technically a day of rest, I hope to finish the request for transcript forms and have them either in the mail or ready to mail. To whit I need stamps and envelopes. I would also like to stop at the police station for those formalities. I need to correct an appointment mistake, I am scheduled for an appointment with podiatry on the Monday of the Labor Day three day weekend, a definite mistake. Laundry needs cleaned if I do not get to it tonight. I will probably be driving my neighbor to the store in order for him to buy milk and maybe somewhere else as well. I think there are a few other minor things but they are not coming to me. I should start making lists and prioritizing. I am becoming a very busy man.
On Friday I will be driving to Ogden for blood work. I may go shooting when I get back, or fishing. But Saturday is a day of rest. Maybe Sunday too. Then back at it like a lumber jack with a chain saw Monday. You know, I just might make it. I just might pull it off. I might really pick up my crutches, put them under my arm, and simply walk into a new healthy world. Who would have guessed? And all because I had some silly dreams of mountains, cold wind, and snow which ended up leading me here, several years after they manifested my resolve. Those were some powerful dreams. I really had to work to rise from the depths to follow them, and it took a small army of friends who worked their tails off to get me launched toward Utah. I savor the dreams to this day. In the winter, in the mountains, I will find my truth, and maybe my life and health. And I am dearly terribly wonderfully grateful for friends, dear, hardworking, good friends.
Good night. Dream wise dreams, whether you are of little faith or completely devoid of a lack of faith. God speaks if we will but listen. Shhhh... Rest well.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
In spite of it all...
.
.
Despite the grim turn of the day, to some extent, I am doing good. I believe the reason these simple seeming tasks were so heavy is I knew they would most likely be negative outcomes, turning into extended and complicated processes. Getting a bunch of "No"s on one day is not easy to take. Still, rather than dickering and playing the things out, I did them in a rather timely manner, took the negatives, and continue to work on the situations in the hopes that I find favor in my court.
I did all that I had intended to do and the extra task of calling my Mom to begin planning that operation. Plus, the neighbor and myself headed out for a minor day on the town for other than food shopping. Grocery shopping, for some time, is completed as well if I could use a few more things. Laundry is all that remains high on my list from my recent past designs. If my sleep is interrupted this night, I will try to use that time to do some or all of my laundry if, that is, I am able to find an all night laundromat. I have found one which calls itself Day And Night, but that does not necessarily mean 24 hour.
My finances seem to be in order. After everything has been tended fiscally, I have decent coin left in the accounts. I am not splendidly rich but I am not broke either. I would like to tend that coin, living as lightly as I may, so that I can use it and nothing out of my next check for plane tickets and a few other items. My domestic needs have been met, my food supplies are good, and I am mostly living in such a way that I can almost cost to payday at this point.
No, I am doing well. If I had worries that it was all going to come crashing down the other day, having rested, eaten well, re-hydrated, and then rejoined the game today, I have much more confident in my new life. There are, of course, many challenges, duties, and out door things to come. I believe I may end up becoming more active than the average man, perhaps verging on the extreme edges of an active lifestyle. It is amazing to watch. It is like watching a long time cripple pick up his crutches and begin to walk slowly, then walk faster, and finally perhaps run, jump, and add a skip or two for Betty Lou.
All the troubles are now merely academic ventures. Not that they are not frustrating, but it is more like playing chess with an opponent I am sure I can beat. It is not, for them or me now really, personal. I have confidence in my game, my chances, and such. The problems are tiring, the negative response is irritating. I must simply use their own system to justify myself and my rights. Once completed those troubles will be done. They are singular events, if extended through bureaucracy. Oddly, the gal I was speaking to at the FBI took several breaks while speaking with me, to check things. She never did ask for my name. I do believe she knew me, or had my case in front of her at least. She excused herself each time to speak with her superior. It almost seemed as if she wanted to simply give in, or turn me away, though I felt she was more positive than not.
Ribs, again, tonight. They were not boneless as I had first indicated. They were St. Louis cut, basically it is just an evening out of the ribs by cutting off the longer bits. Bone in, and tasty, I enjoyed another fine meat meal. I was not able to eat all of them, so I have a healthy portion left for a cold snack, if a hearty snack. I have a few more packages of meat, from boneless butterfly beef ribs, to several various lamb cuts, to sausage to go along with eggs. I can take some time in cooking those, but not much. I needed meat and did not realize how much until I ate at Sizzler's. It was like meat dehydration and once I started eating real meat, I knew I would need to refill my internal flesh basket. And, so I am. I am loving every last bite, if too I am now trying to moderate my consumption. Between the meat, water, sleep, and hiding from the sun a bit, I have hit every major need that was adding to my troubles. Hamburgers, even if done perfectly and fast food hamburgers are not, does not have enough of a bit or density or something to fill my meat quota.
To the store, perhaps, again tomorrow. I did not end up taking my neighbor there, if we hit several other places. I am sure he still needs milk, and I could use another gallon or two. Eating meat requires milk! I would like to stop at the police station for fingerprinting and to find out what other form(s) I really need in order to clear my record. Though, truth be told, Utah as a state may just be having me run around to merely tell me no, no matter what I do. I have heard of this. Idaho is just up the street, literally. Who knows, they might be similar.
Later. Maybe this is goodnight. It depends on what reaction Lisinopril might offer.
.
Despite the grim turn of the day, to some extent, I am doing good. I believe the reason these simple seeming tasks were so heavy is I knew they would most likely be negative outcomes, turning into extended and complicated processes. Getting a bunch of "No"s on one day is not easy to take. Still, rather than dickering and playing the things out, I did them in a rather timely manner, took the negatives, and continue to work on the situations in the hopes that I find favor in my court.
I did all that I had intended to do and the extra task of calling my Mom to begin planning that operation. Plus, the neighbor and myself headed out for a minor day on the town for other than food shopping. Grocery shopping, for some time, is completed as well if I could use a few more things. Laundry is all that remains high on my list from my recent past designs. If my sleep is interrupted this night, I will try to use that time to do some or all of my laundry if, that is, I am able to find an all night laundromat. I have found one which calls itself Day And Night, but that does not necessarily mean 24 hour.
My finances seem to be in order. After everything has been tended fiscally, I have decent coin left in the accounts. I am not splendidly rich but I am not broke either. I would like to tend that coin, living as lightly as I may, so that I can use it and nothing out of my next check for plane tickets and a few other items. My domestic needs have been met, my food supplies are good, and I am mostly living in such a way that I can almost cost to payday at this point.
No, I am doing well. If I had worries that it was all going to come crashing down the other day, having rested, eaten well, re-hydrated, and then rejoined the game today, I have much more confident in my new life. There are, of course, many challenges, duties, and out door things to come. I believe I may end up becoming more active than the average man, perhaps verging on the extreme edges of an active lifestyle. It is amazing to watch. It is like watching a long time cripple pick up his crutches and begin to walk slowly, then walk faster, and finally perhaps run, jump, and add a skip or two for Betty Lou.
All the troubles are now merely academic ventures. Not that they are not frustrating, but it is more like playing chess with an opponent I am sure I can beat. It is not, for them or me now really, personal. I have confidence in my game, my chances, and such. The problems are tiring, the negative response is irritating. I must simply use their own system to justify myself and my rights. Once completed those troubles will be done. They are singular events, if extended through bureaucracy. Oddly, the gal I was speaking to at the FBI took several breaks while speaking with me, to check things. She never did ask for my name. I do believe she knew me, or had my case in front of her at least. She excused herself each time to speak with her superior. It almost seemed as if she wanted to simply give in, or turn me away, though I felt she was more positive than not.
Ribs, again, tonight. They were not boneless as I had first indicated. They were St. Louis cut, basically it is just an evening out of the ribs by cutting off the longer bits. Bone in, and tasty, I enjoyed another fine meat meal. I was not able to eat all of them, so I have a healthy portion left for a cold snack, if a hearty snack. I have a few more packages of meat, from boneless butterfly beef ribs, to several various lamb cuts, to sausage to go along with eggs. I can take some time in cooking those, but not much. I needed meat and did not realize how much until I ate at Sizzler's. It was like meat dehydration and once I started eating real meat, I knew I would need to refill my internal flesh basket. And, so I am. I am loving every last bite, if too I am now trying to moderate my consumption. Between the meat, water, sleep, and hiding from the sun a bit, I have hit every major need that was adding to my troubles. Hamburgers, even if done perfectly and fast food hamburgers are not, does not have enough of a bit or density or something to fill my meat quota.
To the store, perhaps, again tomorrow. I did not end up taking my neighbor there, if we hit several other places. I am sure he still needs milk, and I could use another gallon or two. Eating meat requires milk! I would like to stop at the police station for fingerprinting and to find out what other form(s) I really need in order to clear my record. Though, truth be told, Utah as a state may just be having me run around to merely tell me no, no matter what I do. I have heard of this. Idaho is just up the street, literally. Who knows, they might be similar.
Later. Maybe this is goodnight. It depends on what reaction Lisinopril might offer.
Today was a grim day.
.
.
I finally spoke with the apartment manager. She only suggested that I need to 'sell' my contract, or pay it until fulfilled. That time of year, she has indicated, is a slow time for people to move in. Given that, I have gone ahead and decided to move, letting my new renter know as well. I have enough to pay both rents and utilities indefinitely, if too I might be eating beans, soup, and bologna. Well, scratch the bologna, make that liverwurst. Having my own space, a garage, and a quiet neighborhood is well worth the cost. I do have some hope, too, of finding a renter in a reasonable time. Who ever knows. What opportunity does not have direct and potential cost anyway? No good opportunities, that is for certain.
It is great to be back in the groove, mood, or cycle again! I am not going to stretch this long, again, without a good day or two of rest though. Today and tomorrow are my rest days, then back to Ogden for blood tests. As I indicated yesterday, that if I felt well enough I would begin the high blood pressure medicine this evening, since I am feeling better, at about 22:00, down the hatch she goes. I am nervous about it. I will hold to it for a week and just see how it goes.
I may have found a rifle to shoot for the hunter's safety course. It is not a sure thing yet. I simply might have a chance. I am hearing this through secondary sources so until I speak to the primary in person, I cannot be sure. I have a cleaning kit so at least it will be, very possibly, in better shape on the return than how I receive it. It has been sitting quietly, unused, for some time. A cleaning and some oil will fix anything a gun safe could possibly throw at the gun.
I was also able to remember to call my mother. She happened to be needing information as well. So, after getting each other filled in on particulars, we said our goodbyes. She will need to speak with our main family friend to find out when the actual day is. She will call back with that and I will then find us a place to stay. It is a dusty cattle town, on the plains of nowhere, but the mountains can be seen and a good place to stay, I am quite sure, can be found. I am just about to search for instructions for the drive and the mileage. With my atlas, I probably will not need to print those, just scribble some notes. Why print when you can read a map.
Though I still need to do laundry, I think a nap is in order. I may get to laundry this evening. I was a bit too tired this morning and then I started cooking beyond that. I really really need laundry cleaned though. Hmm, I wonder if some place washes it by the pound? Nah, last time I did that, everything came back grayish. *sigh* At least in the new place, I again have in house laundry! *double sigh* Hurry and wait, not yet, now, over here, over there. It will all get better, and soon I think. I should be able to get into a house at a very reasonable price by late spring or early summer. Then things will stop shifting quite so tediously, maybe.
Nap time! WooHoo! Maybe a shower so I can chill a bit first. Woot! A good day, a lot done, more to come. But for today I am done! Well, other than ribs and laundry tonight. But those are good things. Woot! I cannot wait for Saturday, when I will lounge around looking at air molecules again, and maybe put my feet up on the couch like I am not to do, and find other things annoyingly relaxing to do! Drinking out of the carton maybe? Who knows. Woot!
.
I finally spoke with the apartment manager. She only suggested that I need to 'sell' my contract, or pay it until fulfilled. That time of year, she has indicated, is a slow time for people to move in. Given that, I have gone ahead and decided to move, letting my new renter know as well. I have enough to pay both rents and utilities indefinitely, if too I might be eating beans, soup, and bologna. Well, scratch the bologna, make that liverwurst. Having my own space, a garage, and a quiet neighborhood is well worth the cost. I do have some hope, too, of finding a renter in a reasonable time. Who ever knows. What opportunity does not have direct and potential cost anyway? No good opportunities, that is for certain.
It is great to be back in the groove, mood, or cycle again! I am not going to stretch this long, again, without a good day or two of rest though. Today and tomorrow are my rest days, then back to Ogden for blood tests. As I indicated yesterday, that if I felt well enough I would begin the high blood pressure medicine this evening, since I am feeling better, at about 22:00, down the hatch she goes. I am nervous about it. I will hold to it for a week and just see how it goes.
I may have found a rifle to shoot for the hunter's safety course. It is not a sure thing yet. I simply might have a chance. I am hearing this through secondary sources so until I speak to the primary in person, I cannot be sure. I have a cleaning kit so at least it will be, very possibly, in better shape on the return than how I receive it. It has been sitting quietly, unused, for some time. A cleaning and some oil will fix anything a gun safe could possibly throw at the gun.
I was also able to remember to call my mother. She happened to be needing information as well. So, after getting each other filled in on particulars, we said our goodbyes. She will need to speak with our main family friend to find out when the actual day is. She will call back with that and I will then find us a place to stay. It is a dusty cattle town, on the plains of nowhere, but the mountains can be seen and a good place to stay, I am quite sure, can be found. I am just about to search for instructions for the drive and the mileage. With my atlas, I probably will not need to print those, just scribble some notes. Why print when you can read a map.
Though I still need to do laundry, I think a nap is in order. I may get to laundry this evening. I was a bit too tired this morning and then I started cooking beyond that. I really really need laundry cleaned though. Hmm, I wonder if some place washes it by the pound? Nah, last time I did that, everything came back grayish. *sigh* At least in the new place, I again have in house laundry! *double sigh* Hurry and wait, not yet, now, over here, over there. It will all get better, and soon I think. I should be able to get into a house at a very reasonable price by late spring or early summer. Then things will stop shifting quite so tediously, maybe.
Nap time! WooHoo! Maybe a shower so I can chill a bit first. Woot! A good day, a lot done, more to come. But for today I am done! Well, other than ribs and laundry tonight. But those are good things. Woot! I cannot wait for Saturday, when I will lounge around looking at air molecules again, and maybe put my feet up on the couch like I am not to do, and find other things annoyingly relaxing to do! Drinking out of the carton maybe? Who knows. Woot!
Not looking so good.
.
.
No and no, pretty much. I cannot use a pistol in the shoot, though if I want to pay $4 dollars a day, when the range is open, I can use one of their rifles. Of course, that does not guarantee I can use that same rifle every time or on the day of the shoot. I will ask around and see if someone has a .22 rifle they could lend me. And, the FBI indicates that I need to get fingerprinted at the local police station and then send those in. I have to guess there must be a form too, but she did not say that. I swear, these bureaucrats are trying to trip me up every way they can. In any case, I will find out what form needs to go with that and get that done and sent in tomorrow. It takes (at least, at most, who knows) 120 days from the time they receive it. And, I bet they just jump on "receiving" it. Oh, and the dealer said Iowa had refused, Iowa says they had nothing to do with the refusal, Utah said it was the FBI who turned me down, and the FBI says it was Utah who turned me down. This might not be the right place after all.
I can only hope this last remaining chore goes more smoothly. A little hot, but not much to do for it. I did ask if, once I went through this process if I would have to go through this every time as I seem to have in the past. She said no, once I am cleared (if I am cleared), I will then receive a verification number which will end the runaround. It seems I have little to say about the matter, my sheriff can do nothing, and the NRA can do nothing.
Off I go...
.
No and no, pretty much. I cannot use a pistol in the shoot, though if I want to pay $4 dollars a day, when the range is open, I can use one of their rifles. Of course, that does not guarantee I can use that same rifle every time or on the day of the shoot. I will ask around and see if someone has a .22 rifle they could lend me. And, the FBI indicates that I need to get fingerprinted at the local police station and then send those in. I have to guess there must be a form too, but she did not say that. I swear, these bureaucrats are trying to trip me up every way they can. In any case, I will find out what form needs to go with that and get that done and sent in tomorrow. It takes (at least, at most, who knows) 120 days from the time they receive it. And, I bet they just jump on "receiving" it. Oh, and the dealer said Iowa had refused, Iowa says they had nothing to do with the refusal, Utah said it was the FBI who turned me down, and the FBI says it was Utah who turned me down. This might not be the right place after all.
I can only hope this last remaining chore goes more smoothly. A little hot, but not much to do for it. I did ask if, once I went through this process if I would have to go through this every time as I seem to have in the past. She said no, once I am cleared (if I am cleared), I will then receive a verification number which will end the runaround. It seems I have little to say about the matter, my sheriff can do nothing, and the NRA can do nothing.
Off I go...
Not bad.
.
.
The ribs, by the way, were fantastic. Clean up was a breeze too. Now I can cook some meat again. And it must have been a bit cooler last night as the oven did not heat the place too much, or even noticeably.
Oh, and I woke in time to check with my neighbor. Actually, he was calling when I knocked on his door. He says nothing came in. And, he will be bicycling to the store and such. I must admit, I wonder if something did come in but that it is being reserved for a few people. I have no problem with that, I suppose. The reason I suspect this is my neighbor really hates to go to the store and bring home milk on his bike. That is part of the reason he asked me to take him today. Then again, he might just want to ride. I remain suspicious. But then I really do not care for the most part. If some did arrive and they are being held a bit, I just hope to eventually have friends who might do a similar thing and cannot begrudge someone else already having worked up such friendships. That is, after all, how things really work. And, that is not a bad thing.
I do need to get going on some of those things I canceled yesterday. Though still a bit groggy, I am good for the tasks at hand. I received an email from my potential new renter asking whether I had news. I will have news as soon as my land lady arrives at 13:30 or so. The other things are calls which I can make any time this morning. Having already showered and dressed, even before I checked with the neighbor, I am ready to do some traveling if needed. I know I need to do some laundry and finish my shopping as well if nothing else.
When I do finish my tasks, however, I am not going out looking for more to do. And, tomorrow, if I can, I will have another in-the-cave rest day. A drive to Ogden for blood work the following day, plus maybe a day at the range, will see me getting ready for the weekend. I need to buy some shoe laces for my better shoes and do some laundry to prepare for Church. Being up so early will be a trick, and everything else has to be in place as well, but I will get to Church soon. One could never say I am the fasted tortoise in the pond.
Tonight, if I do well, I will have pork ribs, cooked as they were last night. Last night I had beef ribs, on the bone. Tonight, if I do well, it will be boneless pork ribs. Tasting real meat that does not cost $4o or require leaving the home is really a needed thing. Being primarily a meat eater and liking things a certain way makes microwave meals and fast food options of last resort. But they were and will remain options and primary sources of food for the time being and until I buy into a house I would guess. Being single has many disadvantages, though I suppose many married couples do no better, eating out more than not with dual salaries rather than the fabled house wife scenario. If I find a woman, one of the things will be that she cook at least 3 meals a week, or cleans up from me doing so.
Well, I will tinker a bit since I do not need to get going immediately. I will begin making my calls at around noon, completing them when I can make contact. Hopefully I will be able to talk to someone before needing to go and talk with the landlady, but dealing with the government is not always a snappy deal. I hope I do not have to go through this every time I want to buy a gun. This is why I got a handgun buyers permit in the first place. They do not have such here, either one obtains a conceal carry permit, which does the same thing (allowing no-waiting list purchases and eliminating the check process) or one pays a $7.50 processing fee and hoping. Being that I am not a state citizen until I have lived here 6 months, and my Iowa permit does not work here, that is not an immediate option. And, yes, in Iowa, every time I tried to buy a gun until I got the permit, this is precisely what happened.
Oh, and some thoughts on 'soft' medical intervention. The actual deal is, if a therapist or doctor does not want you to have guns, they are only supposed to have one way to prevent that, two if you wish to be technical. They consider you a threat to yourself (or someone else, thus the second way) and have you committed. However, I think now they can just say they do not believe you should have guns and attach that into your file somewhere. Being that many of them are anti-gun anyway, that pretty much says most veterans who have seen a therapist (or disgruntled doctor with a poor attitude) might be outright denied, albeit secretly. Anyone treated for any of a number of problems are often written up like this. However, this is not a real and legal method (or so I have been told). If someone is a threat, they really have to commit them or let it go. Doctors need to go through a re-education on this and be punished if they tinker. As a fact, if they are not committing someone, anything else should be classified as a breech of patient doctor confidentiality. Either that, or simply make disabled veterans unable to get licenses across the board. Another "plus" for socialized medicine. As I said, if this goes badly, I will then give the NRA a call.
Well, to tinkering (the kind that does not arbitrarily mess up someone's freedoms).
.
The ribs, by the way, were fantastic. Clean up was a breeze too. Now I can cook some meat again. And it must have been a bit cooler last night as the oven did not heat the place too much, or even noticeably.
Oh, and I woke in time to check with my neighbor. Actually, he was calling when I knocked on his door. He says nothing came in. And, he will be bicycling to the store and such. I must admit, I wonder if something did come in but that it is being reserved for a few people. I have no problem with that, I suppose. The reason I suspect this is my neighbor really hates to go to the store and bring home milk on his bike. That is part of the reason he asked me to take him today. Then again, he might just want to ride. I remain suspicious. But then I really do not care for the most part. If some did arrive and they are being held a bit, I just hope to eventually have friends who might do a similar thing and cannot begrudge someone else already having worked up such friendships. That is, after all, how things really work. And, that is not a bad thing.
I do need to get going on some of those things I canceled yesterday. Though still a bit groggy, I am good for the tasks at hand. I received an email from my potential new renter asking whether I had news. I will have news as soon as my land lady arrives at 13:30 or so. The other things are calls which I can make any time this morning. Having already showered and dressed, even before I checked with the neighbor, I am ready to do some traveling if needed. I know I need to do some laundry and finish my shopping as well if nothing else.
When I do finish my tasks, however, I am not going out looking for more to do. And, tomorrow, if I can, I will have another in-the-cave rest day. A drive to Ogden for blood work the following day, plus maybe a day at the range, will see me getting ready for the weekend. I need to buy some shoe laces for my better shoes and do some laundry to prepare for Church. Being up so early will be a trick, and everything else has to be in place as well, but I will get to Church soon. One could never say I am the fasted tortoise in the pond.
Tonight, if I do well, I will have pork ribs, cooked as they were last night. Last night I had beef ribs, on the bone. Tonight, if I do well, it will be boneless pork ribs. Tasting real meat that does not cost $4o or require leaving the home is really a needed thing. Being primarily a meat eater and liking things a certain way makes microwave meals and fast food options of last resort. But they were and will remain options and primary sources of food for the time being and until I buy into a house I would guess. Being single has many disadvantages, though I suppose many married couples do no better, eating out more than not with dual salaries rather than the fabled house wife scenario. If I find a woman, one of the things will be that she cook at least 3 meals a week, or cleans up from me doing so.
Well, I will tinker a bit since I do not need to get going immediately. I will begin making my calls at around noon, completing them when I can make contact. Hopefully I will be able to talk to someone before needing to go and talk with the landlady, but dealing with the government is not always a snappy deal. I hope I do not have to go through this every time I want to buy a gun. This is why I got a handgun buyers permit in the first place. They do not have such here, either one obtains a conceal carry permit, which does the same thing (allowing no-waiting list purchases and eliminating the check process) or one pays a $7.50 processing fee and hoping. Being that I am not a state citizen until I have lived here 6 months, and my Iowa permit does not work here, that is not an immediate option. And, yes, in Iowa, every time I tried to buy a gun until I got the permit, this is precisely what happened.
Oh, and some thoughts on 'soft' medical intervention. The actual deal is, if a therapist or doctor does not want you to have guns, they are only supposed to have one way to prevent that, two if you wish to be technical. They consider you a threat to yourself (or someone else, thus the second way) and have you committed. However, I think now they can just say they do not believe you should have guns and attach that into your file somewhere. Being that many of them are anti-gun anyway, that pretty much says most veterans who have seen a therapist (or disgruntled doctor with a poor attitude) might be outright denied, albeit secretly. Anyone treated for any of a number of problems are often written up like this. However, this is not a real and legal method (or so I have been told). If someone is a threat, they really have to commit them or let it go. Doctors need to go through a re-education on this and be punished if they tinker. As a fact, if they are not committing someone, anything else should be classified as a breech of patient doctor confidentiality. Either that, or simply make disabled veterans unable to get licenses across the board. Another "plus" for socialized medicine. As I said, if this goes badly, I will then give the NRA a call.
Well, to tinkering (the kind that does not arbitrarily mess up someone's freedoms).
Do ribs sound good to anyone else?
.
.
I could not sleep more and I have had about all the rest I can handle. I am a bit sleepy but enough is enough. I started looking over fishing websites and looking up this and that regarding fly fishing, checking prices, figuring out what to get in the way of wet and dry flies and other lures. At some point it stops making sense. Data overload does that. After trying to rest or sleep, again, and failing, I decided to do some simple computer games. The computer games that come with Windows XP. Then I started to realize I was hungry again.
I remembered having bought some sort of "ribs in a bucket". Beyond being overpriced for the quality, if not horrible, they just did not satisfy like home cooked food does. However, the instructions lead me to think about how to prepare ribs in the oven without much mess or fuss. Simply adding barbecue sauce to the meat, wrapping the cooking sheet in aluminum foil, then wrapping the sauce covered meat in another shroud of foil, turning on the oven to 150 F, and giving it an hour and a quarter or so to steam, bake, whatever. I will let you know how they are. Hmm, looking at the clock, it says they are ready. A little past ready.
See ya.
.
I could not sleep more and I have had about all the rest I can handle. I am a bit sleepy but enough is enough. I started looking over fishing websites and looking up this and that regarding fly fishing, checking prices, figuring out what to get in the way of wet and dry flies and other lures. At some point it stops making sense. Data overload does that. After trying to rest or sleep, again, and failing, I decided to do some simple computer games. The computer games that come with Windows XP. Then I started to realize I was hungry again.
I remembered having bought some sort of "ribs in a bucket". Beyond being overpriced for the quality, if not horrible, they just did not satisfy like home cooked food does. However, the instructions lead me to think about how to prepare ribs in the oven without much mess or fuss. Simply adding barbecue sauce to the meat, wrapping the cooking sheet in aluminum foil, then wrapping the sauce covered meat in another shroud of foil, turning on the oven to 150 F, and giving it an hour and a quarter or so to steam, bake, whatever. I will let you know how they are. Hmm, looking at the clock, it says they are ready. A little past ready.
See ya.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
A good day after all.
.
.
I needed to eat large and heavy tonight. So I did. The food was fantastic, for fast food. I must have been quite hungry as I ate most of it. I am still hydrating. Along with the food, my body needed and still needs lots of water. Guzzle and gulp has been the code words of the day. That and rest and sleep. I am finally feeling 100% human. I will sleep a bit more shortly though I do not expect a long sleep. If I wake and feel as well as I do now, and it is still rather early, I may try to find an all night laundromat and do some laundry. I am down to needing underwear badly. And most of my jeans and shirts have seen extra duty.
I am amazed at how well I recuperate from physical stress now. If I keep pushing, I am sure I will become physically fit in a relatively decent amount of time, and might find that I am even able to overcome some of that other problem that has plagued me for decades. Now is the time, I suppose, to really start taking care of my health. Thankfully it has held in spite of my inability to take treatment. Even in a worst case situation, I suspect I will do better here than there.
Once I become physically fit, it will then be time to push my advantage there. To find a wife, one I will be happy with. I will need to fulfill my physique to a more exacting fit and finish. I want a body women like to touch. My height helps, and even my size intrigues women, but with some polish, the choosing of mate and sex will be up to me. Though I enjoy the notion of some fairness, I like having some advantage. It also adds incentive for her to remain or get in shape.
If I find a bigger gal who is the right fit, I will work with her. Though slimmer (not thin) is more attractive to me I really do like the whole woman. And I know no woman is perfect. I am quite sure women feel the same about men. Even should I get back to a solid 240 with 20" arms and a 31" waist, I will have my trouble spots for women. Mostly how I think and being better at language than most of them (the worse for them in debates). Even then, though, I have tried to be fair. Sometimes a woman has not been able to support her point through debate and still I went ahead and trusted her (to great outcomes). Faith in a man's woman is no less than faith in God, in the manner that understanding is not always necessary. Women have an odd way of looking at the world and discussing it but that does not mean they are always wrong.
Yes, women have been on my mind of late. Flirting with young, middle aged, and old, is one of my favorite hobbies. I do not mean dirty flirting, I just mean lifting the spirits and acknowledging our sexes in a curious and mutually flattering way. I flirted before I knew what that was really about and I hope I do so until the day I die. It has even lead married women, long ago, to introducing me to single women. That does not happen as much as it used to though.
I can always tell when a flirt could go farther. When a woman is not wearing a wedding band and I can see she is trying to see whether I am or not, I know there is a chance. Women are sneaky though, and try not to be obvious. I have to keep my eye on them, or like I like to do, get them in my peripheral vision and then show my hand. hehe Oh well. I still need to get in contact with the sister of my friend. I do not know if she is interested in meeting and doing something together, but there is no reason not to ask. If nothing else, a closer lady friend would be pleasant.
It is about bed time again. I know it will not be a long sleep cycle, but I am trying to catch up on all that I was missing. It should be a pleasant sleep though. Shallow but warm, soft and embracing, short and sweet.
Good night. May sleep see you to pleasant scenery, fun dreams, and a good awakening.
.
I needed to eat large and heavy tonight. So I did. The food was fantastic, for fast food. I must have been quite hungry as I ate most of it. I am still hydrating. Along with the food, my body needed and still needs lots of water. Guzzle and gulp has been the code words of the day. That and rest and sleep. I am finally feeling 100% human. I will sleep a bit more shortly though I do not expect a long sleep. If I wake and feel as well as I do now, and it is still rather early, I may try to find an all night laundromat and do some laundry. I am down to needing underwear badly. And most of my jeans and shirts have seen extra duty.
I am amazed at how well I recuperate from physical stress now. If I keep pushing, I am sure I will become physically fit in a relatively decent amount of time, and might find that I am even able to overcome some of that other problem that has plagued me for decades. Now is the time, I suppose, to really start taking care of my health. Thankfully it has held in spite of my inability to take treatment. Even in a worst case situation, I suspect I will do better here than there.
Once I become physically fit, it will then be time to push my advantage there. To find a wife, one I will be happy with. I will need to fulfill my physique to a more exacting fit and finish. I want a body women like to touch. My height helps, and even my size intrigues women, but with some polish, the choosing of mate and sex will be up to me. Though I enjoy the notion of some fairness, I like having some advantage. It also adds incentive for her to remain or get in shape.
If I find a bigger gal who is the right fit, I will work with her. Though slimmer (not thin) is more attractive to me I really do like the whole woman. And I know no woman is perfect. I am quite sure women feel the same about men. Even should I get back to a solid 240 with 20" arms and a 31" waist, I will have my trouble spots for women. Mostly how I think and being better at language than most of them (the worse for them in debates). Even then, though, I have tried to be fair. Sometimes a woman has not been able to support her point through debate and still I went ahead and trusted her (to great outcomes). Faith in a man's woman is no less than faith in God, in the manner that understanding is not always necessary. Women have an odd way of looking at the world and discussing it but that does not mean they are always wrong.
Yes, women have been on my mind of late. Flirting with young, middle aged, and old, is one of my favorite hobbies. I do not mean dirty flirting, I just mean lifting the spirits and acknowledging our sexes in a curious and mutually flattering way. I flirted before I knew what that was really about and I hope I do so until the day I die. It has even lead married women, long ago, to introducing me to single women. That does not happen as much as it used to though.
I can always tell when a flirt could go farther. When a woman is not wearing a wedding band and I can see she is trying to see whether I am or not, I know there is a chance. Women are sneaky though, and try not to be obvious. I have to keep my eye on them, or like I like to do, get them in my peripheral vision and then show my hand. hehe Oh well. I still need to get in contact with the sister of my friend. I do not know if she is interested in meeting and doing something together, but there is no reason not to ask. If nothing else, a closer lady friend would be pleasant.
It is about bed time again. I know it will not be a long sleep cycle, but I am trying to catch up on all that I was missing. It should be a pleasant sleep though. Shallow but warm, soft and embracing, short and sweet.
Good night. May sleep see you to pleasant scenery, fun dreams, and a good awakening.
Very good!
.
.
A long day of rest, a lot more sleep than usual, rehydration to include lots of fluids and pickles, and I am almost back in the game. I simply over worked a body that is not quite up to full time activity. I do believe I will be able to get back at it tomorrow. As a fact, I have little choice. I have promised my neighbor a ride to the store and a few other places he needs to go, I have a few things to do that I could not complete today, and then I can rest again by early evening. If tomorrow goes smoothly, if my body and mind are working again, I will begin Lisinopril tomorrow night.
I must have really pushed the last few days. And though I attempted to stay hydrated, the road is sometimes a tight place to try and drink as much as one needs. The body, too, needs rest at least one day a week, and I pushed that this time. I thought I got away with it before, though I crashed for two days the last time, come to think about it. I guess I did not get away with it. The reason for two days of R&R then, I think, was because I was not familiar with dehydration so I had not been even trying to tend that. Live, and yes I do, learn.
I am hoping, soon, to be able to have more spare time for fishing. Business has been my activity for too long. I am hoping to have relaxation, fishing, and maybe small hikes become more of my activities in the days to come. I have found a few minor hiking trails which might be cooler and which are also relatively close. Though the heat might keep anything I do limited to short times, specific parts of the day, and always with more water and gatorade than what fall will might require. Every little bit will help.
I am so tired of microwave food that I think I am going to shower and go out to eat. Fancy restaurants are not in the lineup. Some fast food joint will do. I do not like Burger King's fries, but I like their burgers better. Perhaps I will get the hamburger there and go to McDonald's for their fries. I do not like most fast food fries, just McDonalds' fries. It is a bit more expensive that way, and the burger gets a bit cooler than preferred, but it is a better meal. I have loved it, in the past, when the two are right next to each other. Even if I got evil eyes from workers at both places for giving neither the full nickle. Ha. Eye kill threats from burger flippers. Yeah, that is scary. Ha!
Oh, I might grab a gallon of milk and a three gallons of water while I am out. I like to grab more, but this will make it so I have less to carry at a time, since I can pick up the other half of my fluid needs when I take my neighbor to the store. Yeah, that is the ticket. I should eat the meat I have in the fridge, but, I simply do not want to cook tonight. Though I am doing a lot better, I am not doing that much better. Stupid dishes are the problem, not the cooking.
Well, I best get going.
.
A long day of rest, a lot more sleep than usual, rehydration to include lots of fluids and pickles, and I am almost back in the game. I simply over worked a body that is not quite up to full time activity. I do believe I will be able to get back at it tomorrow. As a fact, I have little choice. I have promised my neighbor a ride to the store and a few other places he needs to go, I have a few things to do that I could not complete today, and then I can rest again by early evening. If tomorrow goes smoothly, if my body and mind are working again, I will begin Lisinopril tomorrow night.
I must have really pushed the last few days. And though I attempted to stay hydrated, the road is sometimes a tight place to try and drink as much as one needs. The body, too, needs rest at least one day a week, and I pushed that this time. I thought I got away with it before, though I crashed for two days the last time, come to think about it. I guess I did not get away with it. The reason for two days of R&R then, I think, was because I was not familiar with dehydration so I had not been even trying to tend that. Live, and yes I do, learn.
I am hoping, soon, to be able to have more spare time for fishing. Business has been my activity for too long. I am hoping to have relaxation, fishing, and maybe small hikes become more of my activities in the days to come. I have found a few minor hiking trails which might be cooler and which are also relatively close. Though the heat might keep anything I do limited to short times, specific parts of the day, and always with more water and gatorade than what fall will might require. Every little bit will help.
I am so tired of microwave food that I think I am going to shower and go out to eat. Fancy restaurants are not in the lineup. Some fast food joint will do. I do not like Burger King's fries, but I like their burgers better. Perhaps I will get the hamburger there and go to McDonald's for their fries. I do not like most fast food fries, just McDonalds' fries. It is a bit more expensive that way, and the burger gets a bit cooler than preferred, but it is a better meal. I have loved it, in the past, when the two are right next to each other. Even if I got evil eyes from workers at both places for giving neither the full nickle. Ha. Eye kill threats from burger flippers. Yeah, that is scary. Ha!
Oh, I might grab a gallon of milk and a three gallons of water while I am out. I like to grab more, but this will make it so I have less to carry at a time, since I can pick up the other half of my fluid needs when I take my neighbor to the store. Yeah, that is the ticket. I should eat the meat I have in the fridge, but, I simply do not want to cook tonight. Though I am doing a lot better, I am not doing that much better. Stupid dishes are the problem, not the cooking.
Well, I best get going.
Oops!
.
.
I had a light but sure plan of attack for today. That will not happen. I am not just still a bit tired, I am beat. Today, instead, will be a day of quiet rest. I feel like I just climbed Mount Everest with a midget as well as my gear on my back. I need to idle and refresh or I will break, one way or another. I am pleased with what I have accomplished, how well I have been tracking, how many things I am involved with, but I need to be practical.
Beyond exhaustion, there is nausea, a headache, and a few other things. I am treating it, in part, as dehydration, though I know it is more than that if dehydration probably is some third or half of the problem. I can barely keep my eyes open. I still think fairly well, but that could leave if I do not take a nap. And, no, I have not started my medicine yet. Good thing, or I might have quit it immediately. I do not believe I will start the medicine until I can give it a fair trial, most likely in a day or two.
I have had this type of dip one other period since I have arrived. I was able to work my way out of it rather quickly though. I am hoping this will occur again. I have not had a day inside in over a week and I have been wearing myself out and more every day since my last rest day as well. I may get one thing done, if I can call my Mom later. Though that was not necessarily on my list of things for the day, the big main ones, it will be good to do at least one thing. But even most phone calls are going to be too much. I am simply tired to the point of not being able to talk well or receive data and negotiate all the possibilities that go with even seemingly simple conversations with strangers regarding business.
Rest... Just a day of rest... Yes, I think so.
.
I had a light but sure plan of attack for today. That will not happen. I am not just still a bit tired, I am beat. Today, instead, will be a day of quiet rest. I feel like I just climbed Mount Everest with a midget as well as my gear on my back. I need to idle and refresh or I will break, one way or another. I am pleased with what I have accomplished, how well I have been tracking, how many things I am involved with, but I need to be practical.
Beyond exhaustion, there is nausea, a headache, and a few other things. I am treating it, in part, as dehydration, though I know it is more than that if dehydration probably is some third or half of the problem. I can barely keep my eyes open. I still think fairly well, but that could leave if I do not take a nap. And, no, I have not started my medicine yet. Good thing, or I might have quit it immediately. I do not believe I will start the medicine until I can give it a fair trial, most likely in a day or two.
I have had this type of dip one other period since I have arrived. I was able to work my way out of it rather quickly though. I am hoping this will occur again. I have not had a day inside in over a week and I have been wearing myself out and more every day since my last rest day as well. I may get one thing done, if I can call my Mom later. Though that was not necessarily on my list of things for the day, the big main ones, it will be good to do at least one thing. But even most phone calls are going to be too much. I am simply tired to the point of not being able to talk well or receive data and negotiate all the possibilities that go with even seemingly simple conversations with strangers regarding business.
Rest... Just a day of rest... Yes, I think so.
Sleep?
.
.
Oh yes, sleep. I have had a very long week, driving everywhere and all day on several occasions, and not having a day to relax in quite a while. And, even today, and the next day or two will still be busy even if I was able to sleep later in the morning today. I actually slept pretty well last night, waking just a bit between sleeping long hours before and after waking. I would have been able to wake early this morning. Though still tired, I was technically up. But I wanted more sleep today, so back into bed I went. I really have been pushing. Finally waking a bit before 13:00, I think I overslept. But that actually feels good at the moment.
My landlady does not arrive until 13:30, and then she often has a bit of a line. So I will mosey on down at 14:30 or 15:00. She might still be busy, she seems to work just enough to stay busy. She says she has more going on than she can keep track of at times. But that means, to me, that she is really earning the pay check. And, from when I have worked, that seems about right. If you can stay on top of work, easily, and you do not have to prioritize your efforts, you probably are not needed and will be canceled or you are about to have a workbomb land on your assignment sheet.
I will call about using my pistol at the hunter's safety course and call regarding the block on my gun purchases today too. I want to be a quarter more awake than what I am now. That should happen before I talk to the apartment manager. If not, I should still have time afterward. Blogging, some blog reading, and tinkering tend to wake me up. If my neighbor appears, I will talk with him a bit. That too tends to help. After those things are done, I should be able to give my potential new renters a call. I really am getting things done, and for me, at a break-neck speed.
Oh, I had best call my mother and find out exactly when the family reunion is, where we will be staying or if we need a hotel, and such. I have an appointment at the Ogden V.A. Clinic around then and I have been scheduled for podiatry around that time. They were quick with that, called me this morning actually. Maybe I can rid myself of hammer toes sometime before too long. Maybe right after my lady friend leaves and then the other foot mid-summer. It would sure make being active a bit easier. There is nothing more fun than walking on your toenails, along with the odd foot placement to try to mitigate that.
See, I complete one thing and... Ah well, most of you know that far better than I do! Ha! Do not poke too much fun at this old turtle. *grins*
.
Oh yes, sleep. I have had a very long week, driving everywhere and all day on several occasions, and not having a day to relax in quite a while. And, even today, and the next day or two will still be busy even if I was able to sleep later in the morning today. I actually slept pretty well last night, waking just a bit between sleeping long hours before and after waking. I would have been able to wake early this morning. Though still tired, I was technically up. But I wanted more sleep today, so back into bed I went. I really have been pushing. Finally waking a bit before 13:00, I think I overslept. But that actually feels good at the moment.
My landlady does not arrive until 13:30, and then she often has a bit of a line. So I will mosey on down at 14:30 or 15:00. She might still be busy, she seems to work just enough to stay busy. She says she has more going on than she can keep track of at times. But that means, to me, that she is really earning the pay check. And, from when I have worked, that seems about right. If you can stay on top of work, easily, and you do not have to prioritize your efforts, you probably are not needed and will be canceled or you are about to have a workbomb land on your assignment sheet.
I will call about using my pistol at the hunter's safety course and call regarding the block on my gun purchases today too. I want to be a quarter more awake than what I am now. That should happen before I talk to the apartment manager. If not, I should still have time afterward. Blogging, some blog reading, and tinkering tend to wake me up. If my neighbor appears, I will talk with him a bit. That too tends to help. After those things are done, I should be able to give my potential new renters a call. I really am getting things done, and for me, at a break-neck speed.
Oh, I had best call my mother and find out exactly when the family reunion is, where we will be staying or if we need a hotel, and such. I have an appointment at the Ogden V.A. Clinic around then and I have been scheduled for podiatry around that time. They were quick with that, called me this morning actually. Maybe I can rid myself of hammer toes sometime before too long. Maybe right after my lady friend leaves and then the other foot mid-summer. It would sure make being active a bit easier. There is nothing more fun than walking on your toenails, along with the odd foot placement to try to mitigate that.
See, I complete one thing and... Ah well, most of you know that far better than I do! Ha! Do not poke too much fun at this old turtle. *grins*
I keep wondering.
.
.
I wonder about many things. Some of those things have no connection to me. Why a particular phenomenon occurs when it seems to be against logic or where the probability is so low as to be unlikely beyond thought and then it occurs. Other things I wonder about are considered merely because I am curious about how they work. I like to see how some things tick. Some things which give me pause are in regard to other people. How could they have gotten to where they are coming from where they came. How did two people meet, fall in love, and stay married despite being so very different. And personally, I think about some things. Why do I keep trying medicine for example, with the very poor track record it has.
Some of those things I can figure out or at least make a plausible guess as to why they do what they do. Often wrong to be sure, as many things just defy direct logic. Some things I can nail. Some large chunk of the reality that surrounds us is direct. Rocks fall straight down if dropped without lateral forces, water is good on a hot day, and the moon and sun show up cyclically whether we can always see them or not. And I enjoy considering many things, if most of them only get a shallow treatment. I have a simple understanding, for example, of plants and trees. Given a simple test (multiple choice of course), I might even be able to correctly identify the names of the various cells, the life cycle of plants and trees, and such. And yet I could not differentiate various oak tree cells under a slide, or even probably separate an oak from barley for all I know (unless I could clearly see bark or some other tell tale sign before looking through the scope).
My current personal question regards medicine. I keep trying and it keeps failing. Perhaps because I was given no choice with regards to medicine, perhaps because my blood pressure is higher than even the old high, or maybe I think this is such a different place that it might act differently or my own changes in behavior will mitigate the problems. Add all three and there is definitely some impetus to take them. The thing is, I had meant not to be talked into it again. So, my wondering goes to whether I am simply weak minded or weak willed or something. I have had high blood pressure for a decade or so now, and diabetes for half that. I probably should have had a stroke or heart attack long ago. It is not that I want that, it is merely that the medicines have been worse than death in that they have limited my already limited life. I simply do not understand why I keep trying.
Although, I really will refuse any diabetes medicine. It does not work until they get to a level where it drops my sugar to 60. At 600, I can handle it. Things become a bit difficult, such as thinking, concentration, and getting started on things, but not impossible. At a blood sugar of 60, I am terribly confused, extremely exhausted, often on the verge of passing out, and I feel terrible for a week or two around that. And it can drop very quickly, where it only rises just so fast. Usually my diet handles diabetes, but with the fast food and such to try and avoid having to eat microwave dinners all the time and also not have to cook, I think I am stuck with a bit high on that until I decide to buy into a house and begin cooking righteous food again. Ackh!
I was also wondering why everything I do ends up requiring a dozen other actions, it seems. Nothing quite gets done, no matter how much I do, and sometimes one thing really does lead to four more things as follow-up (or more). Even when that does not occur, new things pop up into my life at a, sometimes, dizzying speed. I thought I was retired! At least now I am shooting them down like a professional shooter hitting clays. One escapes from time to time, but that is becoming quite rare. Sometimes I need to juggle things a bit longer than had been planned or hoped, but I do get to them. I am amazed at both how much of life I had been missing, how much I really am beginning to be able to handle, and how much I simply did not see, react to, or complete before (and mostly without consequence).
I am still quite slow and my life would seem simple to most of you. But compare it to staying in my cave for weeks, even months, at a time only leaving to go to the store once a week or every other week. If bills were not on automatic pay they simply did not get paid. If there was something interesting happening in the city I would not go, though oddly I often knew. I could not mow or deal with snow (I was able to do a LOT of shoveling and snow blowing on the Ritalin though). I am now leaving the place one to three times a day. I stand for hours at a time. I drive, do very minor hikes, go fishing and shooting, take care of business like I knew what I was doing, handle my finances fairly well, and such. Perhaps there is hope for medicine at this point.
Though, as we all know, I am terrible about taking medicine. Or was. This really is a new world. This is an almost magic place for me. A lot of things to wonder about.
I have been commenting less at other blog places. I read less, though in a good way. I used to visit most of my favorite blogs several times a day, or many times really. I now only stop in 3 to 4 times a day or less, look for new posts or comments, then slip away. Summer time is often the low point in blogging, or one of them, for most. That and deep winter seem to be slow. The heat or cold, or that both are traditional vacation times, seems to be that ticket. I am hoping people turn out more soon. Although too, I am so tired of hearing about the deranged dear leader and his cast of clowns that I have little interest in hearing more. Neither will hearing more help to change anything nor will it make me better in any way. I give, we know he and his are losers, fools, despots, ignorant, malevolent, and worthless. Yeah, I got that, before they took office.
Though, I suppose someone must light the church steeple lanterns and be pointing out that the enemy has arrived. They need to keep track and disseminate what is really going on. And they need to keep the free speach channel open. We are at serious risk of simply being swallowed by the evil of it. When the canaries start dying, we will know what our choices are. Most will bend a knee, should that start to happen, one way or another. No matter who might win that thing, it will be messy. And, whichever side wins, it will be a minority and they will be a hard minority.
I woke a bit ago and could not fall directly back to sleep. I may be able to sleep again shortly. One thing I have thought though, is if the medicine does make me sleepy, I may take it in the evening. Perhaps that would see me sleeping through the nights. If the effect is less than before due to being here, and I take it in the evening, it might fix two things at once. Whatever, I still do not know why I agreed to take it at all. Ha!
Good night.
.
I wonder about many things. Some of those things have no connection to me. Why a particular phenomenon occurs when it seems to be against logic or where the probability is so low as to be unlikely beyond thought and then it occurs. Other things I wonder about are considered merely because I am curious about how they work. I like to see how some things tick. Some things which give me pause are in regard to other people. How could they have gotten to where they are coming from where they came. How did two people meet, fall in love, and stay married despite being so very different. And personally, I think about some things. Why do I keep trying medicine for example, with the very poor track record it has.
Some of those things I can figure out or at least make a plausible guess as to why they do what they do. Often wrong to be sure, as many things just defy direct logic. Some things I can nail. Some large chunk of the reality that surrounds us is direct. Rocks fall straight down if dropped without lateral forces, water is good on a hot day, and the moon and sun show up cyclically whether we can always see them or not. And I enjoy considering many things, if most of them only get a shallow treatment. I have a simple understanding, for example, of plants and trees. Given a simple test (multiple choice of course), I might even be able to correctly identify the names of the various cells, the life cycle of plants and trees, and such. And yet I could not differentiate various oak tree cells under a slide, or even probably separate an oak from barley for all I know (unless I could clearly see bark or some other tell tale sign before looking through the scope).
My current personal question regards medicine. I keep trying and it keeps failing. Perhaps because I was given no choice with regards to medicine, perhaps because my blood pressure is higher than even the old high, or maybe I think this is such a different place that it might act differently or my own changes in behavior will mitigate the problems. Add all three and there is definitely some impetus to take them. The thing is, I had meant not to be talked into it again. So, my wondering goes to whether I am simply weak minded or weak willed or something. I have had high blood pressure for a decade or so now, and diabetes for half that. I probably should have had a stroke or heart attack long ago. It is not that I want that, it is merely that the medicines have been worse than death in that they have limited my already limited life. I simply do not understand why I keep trying.
Although, I really will refuse any diabetes medicine. It does not work until they get to a level where it drops my sugar to 60. At 600, I can handle it. Things become a bit difficult, such as thinking, concentration, and getting started on things, but not impossible. At a blood sugar of 60, I am terribly confused, extremely exhausted, often on the verge of passing out, and I feel terrible for a week or two around that. And it can drop very quickly, where it only rises just so fast. Usually my diet handles diabetes, but with the fast food and such to try and avoid having to eat microwave dinners all the time and also not have to cook, I think I am stuck with a bit high on that until I decide to buy into a house and begin cooking righteous food again. Ackh!
I was also wondering why everything I do ends up requiring a dozen other actions, it seems. Nothing quite gets done, no matter how much I do, and sometimes one thing really does lead to four more things as follow-up (or more). Even when that does not occur, new things pop up into my life at a, sometimes, dizzying speed. I thought I was retired! At least now I am shooting them down like a professional shooter hitting clays. One escapes from time to time, but that is becoming quite rare. Sometimes I need to juggle things a bit longer than had been planned or hoped, but I do get to them. I am amazed at both how much of life I had been missing, how much I really am beginning to be able to handle, and how much I simply did not see, react to, or complete before (and mostly without consequence).
I am still quite slow and my life would seem simple to most of you. But compare it to staying in my cave for weeks, even months, at a time only leaving to go to the store once a week or every other week. If bills were not on automatic pay they simply did not get paid. If there was something interesting happening in the city I would not go, though oddly I often knew. I could not mow or deal with snow (I was able to do a LOT of shoveling and snow blowing on the Ritalin though). I am now leaving the place one to three times a day. I stand for hours at a time. I drive, do very minor hikes, go fishing and shooting, take care of business like I knew what I was doing, handle my finances fairly well, and such. Perhaps there is hope for medicine at this point.
Though, as we all know, I am terrible about taking medicine. Or was. This really is a new world. This is an almost magic place for me. A lot of things to wonder about.
I have been commenting less at other blog places. I read less, though in a good way. I used to visit most of my favorite blogs several times a day, or many times really. I now only stop in 3 to 4 times a day or less, look for new posts or comments, then slip away. Summer time is often the low point in blogging, or one of them, for most. That and deep winter seem to be slow. The heat or cold, or that both are traditional vacation times, seems to be that ticket. I am hoping people turn out more soon. Although too, I am so tired of hearing about the deranged dear leader and his cast of clowns that I have little interest in hearing more. Neither will hearing more help to change anything nor will it make me better in any way. I give, we know he and his are losers, fools, despots, ignorant, malevolent, and worthless. Yeah, I got that, before they took office.
Though, I suppose someone must light the church steeple lanterns and be pointing out that the enemy has arrived. They need to keep track and disseminate what is really going on. And they need to keep the free speach channel open. We are at serious risk of simply being swallowed by the evil of it. When the canaries start dying, we will know what our choices are. Most will bend a knee, should that start to happen, one way or another. No matter who might win that thing, it will be messy. And, whichever side wins, it will be a minority and they will be a hard minority.
I woke a bit ago and could not fall directly back to sleep. I may be able to sleep again shortly. One thing I have thought though, is if the medicine does make me sleepy, I may take it in the evening. Perhaps that would see me sleeping through the nights. If the effect is less than before due to being here, and I take it in the evening, it might fix two things at once. Whatever, I still do not know why I agreed to take it at all. Ha!
Good night.
Monday, August 10, 2009
More done more to do.
.
.
I was able to rise early. Though not as early as I should have liked, I think it worked better this way as I did not have to wait long for anything anywhere. I drove to Taylorsville, went in, filled out some paperwork, stood in line, got ejected to another area and waited there. It seems there is something federal keeping me from buying a gun. I explained that I have and have had a permit to buy handguns for the large part of the last four years in Iowa, that it is current, and that I called my sheriff's office and they said it was all in order. Only then did the woman working with me offer me a phone number to try and clear that up. So, tomorrow, after I speak with my landlady about the contract I need to place another call. And, no, they better not ask me to drive to Washington, D.C. either. If all else fails, I will be getting in contact with the NRA, of which I am a member.
I saw my 'doc'. She seems okay. My blood pressure was around 220 over 127. She refused to offer a 'stimulant' as she described it though offered that if I lower my blood pressure, she would add that. She wrote me a script and made sure it was filled before I left. I told her I would try it (Lisinopril, the same thing I was on before). She also ordered the water pill I used to take but that has to be sent. She wants me in for a fasting blood draw as well. I said I would try the medicine, again. Right now if I sleep too much it will not interfere with too many other things. But I also said I simply will not continue to take it if it does cause the same lethargy as before. In a month I have another appointment. Oddly, the place was not packed and parking was easy.
After that, I filled with gas and then tried to call the owner of the cabin. I let it ring a bit this time, since it was not meal time. He finally answered and told me to come on up. He was doing work on the place but he said he would take some time and show me around. It is a fantastic place. He has it set up well. He showed me around the cabin and the pointed out some specific scenery and told me how to handle heating, the wood stove, and a few other such things. Then we talked for a bit. He has an interesting story or three, and I told him a little bit about myself. Oh, and since I was going, I grabbed some cash to pay the deposit, rather than having to send it in the mail. That was a last minute consideration that worked well. Now we do not have to worry about the mail, sending time, and worry about loss.
I am rather worn, at this point. I am not sure if I will get to Ogden again soon. I might wait until mid or late week to do that. I am simply tired of driving. The city part of the drive is always the worst, but even the highway has become a bit dull. Perhaps, though doubtfully, I will have the gun issue cleared by the time I get to Ogden again so that I am able to purchase that stupid rifle. Then again, I may call tomorrow and see if my .22 pistol is good enough for the shoot. If so, I will practice with it. I am running out of time to get, target in, and the practice enough for my liking with a new firearm.
I need a nap. Another glass of milk or some ice water, and down I will go. Later, perhaps.
.
I was able to rise early. Though not as early as I should have liked, I think it worked better this way as I did not have to wait long for anything anywhere. I drove to Taylorsville, went in, filled out some paperwork, stood in line, got ejected to another area and waited there. It seems there is something federal keeping me from buying a gun. I explained that I have and have had a permit to buy handguns for the large part of the last four years in Iowa, that it is current, and that I called my sheriff's office and they said it was all in order. Only then did the woman working with me offer me a phone number to try and clear that up. So, tomorrow, after I speak with my landlady about the contract I need to place another call. And, no, they better not ask me to drive to Washington, D.C. either. If all else fails, I will be getting in contact with the NRA, of which I am a member.
I saw my 'doc'. She seems okay. My blood pressure was around 220 over 127. She refused to offer a 'stimulant' as she described it though offered that if I lower my blood pressure, she would add that. She wrote me a script and made sure it was filled before I left. I told her I would try it (Lisinopril, the same thing I was on before). She also ordered the water pill I used to take but that has to be sent. She wants me in for a fasting blood draw as well. I said I would try the medicine, again. Right now if I sleep too much it will not interfere with too many other things. But I also said I simply will not continue to take it if it does cause the same lethargy as before. In a month I have another appointment. Oddly, the place was not packed and parking was easy.
After that, I filled with gas and then tried to call the owner of the cabin. I let it ring a bit this time, since it was not meal time. He finally answered and told me to come on up. He was doing work on the place but he said he would take some time and show me around. It is a fantastic place. He has it set up well. He showed me around the cabin and the pointed out some specific scenery and told me how to handle heating, the wood stove, and a few other such things. Then we talked for a bit. He has an interesting story or three, and I told him a little bit about myself. Oh, and since I was going, I grabbed some cash to pay the deposit, rather than having to send it in the mail. That was a last minute consideration that worked well. Now we do not have to worry about the mail, sending time, and worry about loss.
I am rather worn, at this point. I am not sure if I will get to Ogden again soon. I might wait until mid or late week to do that. I am simply tired of driving. The city part of the drive is always the worst, but even the highway has become a bit dull. Perhaps, though doubtfully, I will have the gun issue cleared by the time I get to Ogden again so that I am able to purchase that stupid rifle. Then again, I may call tomorrow and see if my .22 pistol is good enough for the shoot. If so, I will practice with it. I am running out of time to get, target in, and the practice enough for my liking with a new firearm.
I need a nap. Another glass of milk or some ice water, and down I will go. Later, perhaps.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Sleeping is totally weird.
.
.
I cannot sleep when I want, sometimes I am too tired, sometimes I am not tired enough, sometimes it is too hot, sometimes everything is right but because it changed to rightness I cannot sleep because of the change! Or, I should say, I cannot sleep when I would like to sleep. I do sleep 6 to 8 hours a day, every day. And I nap sometimes too. But deciding when to sleep is such a bear. Still, I am going to make a huge effort to sleep early or at least wake by 8:00. I want to be showered, dressed, and away by 9:00. That will absolutely ensure that I can do everything in one day. Beside wanting to visit with my landlady by Tuesday, the cost of gas going down, and the exhaustion from driving all over the state is starting to become a real drag. Plus, the sooner these other things are done, the sooner I can get back to thinks like fishing and perhaps finding places to hike.
My neighbor and myself went plinking again today. I did not set up the target. We were both shooting our guns out for a number of reasons. His because of the new parts, mine to get it loosened back up after cleaning and oiling, and to pound some of the extra oil and cleaner from areas I cannot access so as to remove the extra. It was fun. And, today was cooler. So much so, I forgot my swimming trunks. Nothing every happens exactly as planned, or every time, or even soon. But it all gets done, eventually. So, eventually, I will be swimming in that stream, some other river, or a lake, and most likely all of the above.
The .22 ammunition I was shooting in my pistol was indeed hot. So hot that I had to aim a good 6" below the target. I hate such bullets. As well, with the Winchesters, I had about 6 failures. It was the ammunition. They were printed with the firing pin. They also seemed quite dirty. There were no failure to feeds or eject though, as often happens with hot loads. Still, a failure is a failure, whatever the cause. I consider this ammo junk ammo. It is fine for plinking, if I do not mind missing often and having occasional failures.
On the way into town, or at least before heading home, I stopped at the store. I finally have a re-supply of pickles! I prefer them ice cold, so it will be a bit. The juice is better really cold as well. The cold helps with the *snap* in the pickle and makes the juice more refreshing. I picked up some sausage and eggs as well, now that I have my cast iron skillet out. Fried eggs and sausage might help some mornings. And it is vastly superior to microwave food. Plus, since I am mearly using the cast iron, cleanup should be easy enough.
There is not much else going on today. Which is good. I have been stretching myself the last two weeks. If I can get these last few time sensitive chores done by Wednesday if not earlier, I may just take a two day vacation and hide out in the apartment before getting going again. Maybe to work on my sleep patterns, maybe just to dream about them. *grins* I need to get a count on available money and credit too.
With everything going on, the various costs and time involved for things, and just the way life is, I really need some time off to review things, make contacts, confirm or ask about specifics, and just have breezy days in general. It is not even as if what I am doing is as complicated as work, but it is getting there, slowly but surely. And that is exactly what I am hoping to emulate.
I think I will dinker on the machine a bit, then try to sleep. I am really tired, if not quite ready for bed. No nap today, if I did rise a bit later. Maybe a good long sleep is in order. I am becoming duller and duller as I become more and more ready for sleep.
Good night.
.
I cannot sleep when I want, sometimes I am too tired, sometimes I am not tired enough, sometimes it is too hot, sometimes everything is right but because it changed to rightness I cannot sleep because of the change! Or, I should say, I cannot sleep when I would like to sleep. I do sleep 6 to 8 hours a day, every day. And I nap sometimes too. But deciding when to sleep is such a bear. Still, I am going to make a huge effort to sleep early or at least wake by 8:00. I want to be showered, dressed, and away by 9:00. That will absolutely ensure that I can do everything in one day. Beside wanting to visit with my landlady by Tuesday, the cost of gas going down, and the exhaustion from driving all over the state is starting to become a real drag. Plus, the sooner these other things are done, the sooner I can get back to thinks like fishing and perhaps finding places to hike.
My neighbor and myself went plinking again today. I did not set up the target. We were both shooting our guns out for a number of reasons. His because of the new parts, mine to get it loosened back up after cleaning and oiling, and to pound some of the extra oil and cleaner from areas I cannot access so as to remove the extra. It was fun. And, today was cooler. So much so, I forgot my swimming trunks. Nothing every happens exactly as planned, or every time, or even soon. But it all gets done, eventually. So, eventually, I will be swimming in that stream, some other river, or a lake, and most likely all of the above.
The .22 ammunition I was shooting in my pistol was indeed hot. So hot that I had to aim a good 6" below the target. I hate such bullets. As well, with the Winchesters, I had about 6 failures. It was the ammunition. They were printed with the firing pin. They also seemed quite dirty. There were no failure to feeds or eject though, as often happens with hot loads. Still, a failure is a failure, whatever the cause. I consider this ammo junk ammo. It is fine for plinking, if I do not mind missing often and having occasional failures.
On the way into town, or at least before heading home, I stopped at the store. I finally have a re-supply of pickles! I prefer them ice cold, so it will be a bit. The juice is better really cold as well. The cold helps with the *snap* in the pickle and makes the juice more refreshing. I picked up some sausage and eggs as well, now that I have my cast iron skillet out. Fried eggs and sausage might help some mornings. And it is vastly superior to microwave food. Plus, since I am mearly using the cast iron, cleanup should be easy enough.
There is not much else going on today. Which is good. I have been stretching myself the last two weeks. If I can get these last few time sensitive chores done by Wednesday if not earlier, I may just take a two day vacation and hide out in the apartment before getting going again. Maybe to work on my sleep patterns, maybe just to dream about them. *grins* I need to get a count on available money and credit too.
With everything going on, the various costs and time involved for things, and just the way life is, I really need some time off to review things, make contacts, confirm or ask about specifics, and just have breezy days in general. It is not even as if what I am doing is as complicated as work, but it is getting there, slowly but surely. And that is exactly what I am hoping to emulate.
I think I will dinker on the machine a bit, then try to sleep. I am really tired, if not quite ready for bed. No nap today, if I did rise a bit later. Maybe a good long sleep is in order. I am becoming duller and duller as I become more and more ready for sleep.
Good night.
Projects.
.
.
I am awake, after a good nap. As I have been researching this, tinkering with that, blogging here and there, and just wasting time my mind has been working on things it is interested in. It had started to recount my duties, responsibilities, promises, and such. So, rather than have all that rolling around loose in an already cluttered and wearied mind, I decided to number them, their list in the chain of events in which they belong roughly, and allow myself some temporary peace.
I have a V.A. appointment Monday. Since it is the first visit here, I have no extra commitments regarding it. I do need, however, to get orders in to be seen at dental, the eye clinic, and to visit the foot doctor. I will be questioning her regarding a possible medicinal regimen as well. Other than that, I have nothing else there. Though too, on that day, if I can wake early enough I would like to revisit the place in Taylorsville so as to buy the .22 rifle or find out what the problem is at least. Then, if there is time in the afternoon, I would like to visit with the renter of the cabin and take a look at the place. That is a lot to do in one day, and is dubious due to both the early rising and the long hours, plus all the driving. I have been known to pull miracles out of indelicate places before though. Tuesday, if that all did not get done, I will need to drive to the area again.
I still need to talk to the apartment manager and see if we can arrange for an end of contract in about two months. I would like to do that Monday or Tuesday, but the facts remain that it really might not happen until Wednesday. When I get that answered, or roughly, I will then need to contact the people I will be house sitting for. I had suggested I would have this done Friday, forgetting I had been meaning to (if fruitlessly) drive to Taylorsville. Complications and twists, life is full of them.
After the purchasing of guns is cleared, if it is in my favor, I then need to purchase the rifle and begin targeting it in. I need to have that completed and be ready for the shoot by the 29th of August. I should print out a number of targets for practice as well. They are offered for download and printing at the online address where I took the online version of the course. I have 1500 rounds, and more, of .22 ammunition. Most of it medium velocity. I may just shoot the high velocity new stuff and save the medium velocity for better aim. Now that I realize .22 ammunition is all about $7.50 per 50 (or more), I do not mind buying locally. Especially since it is target specific ammunition. Several maybes there, but that is how it goes.
I also need to begin planning for my visit to our family friend's family reunion. I am not sure where that is being held, exactly, or where I will be staying. To that end, I need to speak with my Mom again. I believe she will then need to make some calls and get back to me. That will be complicated and take at least a week to arrange, I am almost sure. It might take more but it will not take less time.
Then, depending on what happens with the contract for this apartment, I will probably begin loading some of what I have here and taking it to the storage unit. Simply put, I would like a very light and easy move to the new place. I can then, as needed and wanted, haul some of what I want to the house. All this depends on the current contract and the possibility of getting out of it.
I want (need) to get back to fishing. I have been doing so much else that there has been little time for it. Though too, with the heat getting into the 95 F to 100 F range, fishing has been sidetracked by that as well. This week is supposed to be in the 85 range, better for fishing and getting out in general. Half of this week seems destined to be on the road, potentially, though. I want trout for dinner! And perhaps some pictures for you. Though my camera seems to be dying. I did get the discs, and I did try to take a picture in Ogden. The results from a single try, the heat, and the need to get going, however, really did not leave me hopeful. To that end I have been looking over used cameras for sale. I am hoping for a better Nikon, either an F100 or and F5, a decent simple lens (to start out with), and little else. Since this will be for landscapes, I do not think I need a flash (right away). In time, it would be good to get a flash. Though I believe a telephoto and wide angle lens would come first, good ones. Pricey ones. Ackh! All this for you, my dear readers. *grins*
As well, I have bigger hunting on my mind. Though this can wait until early next year. I want a rifle first, but a black powder gun and a bow are on the list for either next year or the year after. Whatever I get, I need to get it in a timely manner. I need to have it in time to practice with it, sight it in, and be ready well before hunting season begins. And, as with all things, simply buying what might seem simply all that is needed is never enough. For the rifle, for example, I will probably want a good scope. To sight that in, depending on how well this spotting scope I have works, I may need a better spotting scope. I will need plenty of ammunition of several varieties to see what works best with my rifle (or if I can find primers by then, start figuring out the best loading tables for my gun, which again would require something else, a decent chronograph). See, it never stops. But that too is the price life, success, and such demand.
And before hunting, I need to finish making plans for my lady friend's visit. The airplane tickets and cabin are just the start, if thankfully, the biggest ticket items. I plan on having several good meals planned. With only three days there, that will probably handle most meals. Though I would like to have one good real breakfast of sausage, eggs, bacon, toast, juice, coffee, and maybe rolls or biscuits. Though the big ticket items should be covered in September or October, the little details of food and an outgoing hotel room remain. I am trying to make this vacation as seamless as possible for her. Perhaps she can just enjoy a little quiet time. Oh, and I do have a few small stocking-stuffers in mind for her.
I also have some planning and actions I must do and take in order to start school in January. I need to order my transcripts from the University of Iowa, Kirkwood Community College, Indian Hills Community College, and Iowa Lakes Community College. Then I need to actually apply, speak with an academic adviser, and then take my enrollment to the local V.A. Vocational Rehabilitation office and have them apply for my records, all in a timely enough way so as to actually be ready for spring. I cannot do it now as the professors and advisers seem to be awol if fairly, and not really until a few months into school so that I am not burdening a newly started school year faculty and staff (bad juju-bees, that). Which, in with the rest, means I will need to do this at about the time I need to go to Colorado and when I get back and need to begin my move. Okay, fine. No one ever said this was going to be easy.
Now, I have a few other pots on the stove, but that should give you an idea of what I have cooking. I really have no idea how I will get it all done, how any of it will come out, or how I got into so many things. I will merely say that what gets done, gets done. I do believe I will do all of it up to the point that I am able. How I will keep track and do right, how does anyone live this complex thing called life? If I keep doing well, as I seem to be, it will simply be done and someday I will wonder at the fact that I worried about it at all. And, probably, regardless of how any of it turns out! Life is magic. So, I try not to worry too much. Between God, family, friends, and myself, it works.
I must admit, I have strongly considered abandoning all that and merely plotting to take over the world. My mandates will be bold and just as foolish as they are bold (and ignored?). My armies will be great (beer drinkers, lazy most other ways). Such is the world of despots. Oh well, perhaps I will have to do something even better, making the first craft to go the speed of light, then go. hehe Ah well, I suppose I must play in my mind or go mad. I just hate it when I am in there playing and someone locks the door. You can go goofy in there. Yes, I ought to just stick to the works in progress.
Good night.
.
I am awake, after a good nap. As I have been researching this, tinkering with that, blogging here and there, and just wasting time my mind has been working on things it is interested in. It had started to recount my duties, responsibilities, promises, and such. So, rather than have all that rolling around loose in an already cluttered and wearied mind, I decided to number them, their list in the chain of events in which they belong roughly, and allow myself some temporary peace.
I have a V.A. appointment Monday. Since it is the first visit here, I have no extra commitments regarding it. I do need, however, to get orders in to be seen at dental, the eye clinic, and to visit the foot doctor. I will be questioning her regarding a possible medicinal regimen as well. Other than that, I have nothing else there. Though too, on that day, if I can wake early enough I would like to revisit the place in Taylorsville so as to buy the .22 rifle or find out what the problem is at least. Then, if there is time in the afternoon, I would like to visit with the renter of the cabin and take a look at the place. That is a lot to do in one day, and is dubious due to both the early rising and the long hours, plus all the driving. I have been known to pull miracles out of indelicate places before though. Tuesday, if that all did not get done, I will need to drive to the area again.
I still need to talk to the apartment manager and see if we can arrange for an end of contract in about two months. I would like to do that Monday or Tuesday, but the facts remain that it really might not happen until Wednesday. When I get that answered, or roughly, I will then need to contact the people I will be house sitting for. I had suggested I would have this done Friday, forgetting I had been meaning to (if fruitlessly) drive to Taylorsville. Complications and twists, life is full of them.
After the purchasing of guns is cleared, if it is in my favor, I then need to purchase the rifle and begin targeting it in. I need to have that completed and be ready for the shoot by the 29th of August. I should print out a number of targets for practice as well. They are offered for download and printing at the online address where I took the online version of the course. I have 1500 rounds, and more, of .22 ammunition. Most of it medium velocity. I may just shoot the high velocity new stuff and save the medium velocity for better aim. Now that I realize .22 ammunition is all about $7.50 per 50 (or more), I do not mind buying locally. Especially since it is target specific ammunition. Several maybes there, but that is how it goes.
I also need to begin planning for my visit to our family friend's family reunion. I am not sure where that is being held, exactly, or where I will be staying. To that end, I need to speak with my Mom again. I believe she will then need to make some calls and get back to me. That will be complicated and take at least a week to arrange, I am almost sure. It might take more but it will not take less time.
Then, depending on what happens with the contract for this apartment, I will probably begin loading some of what I have here and taking it to the storage unit. Simply put, I would like a very light and easy move to the new place. I can then, as needed and wanted, haul some of what I want to the house. All this depends on the current contract and the possibility of getting out of it.
I want (need) to get back to fishing. I have been doing so much else that there has been little time for it. Though too, with the heat getting into the 95 F to 100 F range, fishing has been sidetracked by that as well. This week is supposed to be in the 85 range, better for fishing and getting out in general. Half of this week seems destined to be on the road, potentially, though. I want trout for dinner! And perhaps some pictures for you. Though my camera seems to be dying. I did get the discs, and I did try to take a picture in Ogden. The results from a single try, the heat, and the need to get going, however, really did not leave me hopeful. To that end I have been looking over used cameras for sale. I am hoping for a better Nikon, either an F100 or and F5, a decent simple lens (to start out with), and little else. Since this will be for landscapes, I do not think I need a flash (right away). In time, it would be good to get a flash. Though I believe a telephoto and wide angle lens would come first, good ones. Pricey ones. Ackh! All this for you, my dear readers. *grins*
As well, I have bigger hunting on my mind. Though this can wait until early next year. I want a rifle first, but a black powder gun and a bow are on the list for either next year or the year after. Whatever I get, I need to get it in a timely manner. I need to have it in time to practice with it, sight it in, and be ready well before hunting season begins. And, as with all things, simply buying what might seem simply all that is needed is never enough. For the rifle, for example, I will probably want a good scope. To sight that in, depending on how well this spotting scope I have works, I may need a better spotting scope. I will need plenty of ammunition of several varieties to see what works best with my rifle (or if I can find primers by then, start figuring out the best loading tables for my gun, which again would require something else, a decent chronograph). See, it never stops. But that too is the price life, success, and such demand.
And before hunting, I need to finish making plans for my lady friend's visit. The airplane tickets and cabin are just the start, if thankfully, the biggest ticket items. I plan on having several good meals planned. With only three days there, that will probably handle most meals. Though I would like to have one good real breakfast of sausage, eggs, bacon, toast, juice, coffee, and maybe rolls or biscuits. Though the big ticket items should be covered in September or October, the little details of food and an outgoing hotel room remain. I am trying to make this vacation as seamless as possible for her. Perhaps she can just enjoy a little quiet time. Oh, and I do have a few small stocking-stuffers in mind for her.
I also have some planning and actions I must do and take in order to start school in January. I need to order my transcripts from the University of Iowa, Kirkwood Community College, Indian Hills Community College, and Iowa Lakes Community College. Then I need to actually apply, speak with an academic adviser, and then take my enrollment to the local V.A. Vocational Rehabilitation office and have them apply for my records, all in a timely enough way so as to actually be ready for spring. I cannot do it now as the professors and advisers seem to be awol if fairly, and not really until a few months into school so that I am not burdening a newly started school year faculty and staff (bad juju-bees, that). Which, in with the rest, means I will need to do this at about the time I need to go to Colorado and when I get back and need to begin my move. Okay, fine. No one ever said this was going to be easy.
Now, I have a few other pots on the stove, but that should give you an idea of what I have cooking. I really have no idea how I will get it all done, how any of it will come out, or how I got into so many things. I will merely say that what gets done, gets done. I do believe I will do all of it up to the point that I am able. How I will keep track and do right, how does anyone live this complex thing called life? If I keep doing well, as I seem to be, it will simply be done and someday I will wonder at the fact that I worried about it at all. And, probably, regardless of how any of it turns out! Life is magic. So, I try not to worry too much. Between God, family, friends, and myself, it works.
I must admit, I have strongly considered abandoning all that and merely plotting to take over the world. My mandates will be bold and just as foolish as they are bold (and ignored?). My armies will be great (beer drinkers, lazy most other ways). Such is the world of despots. Oh well, perhaps I will have to do something even better, making the first craft to go the speed of light, then go. hehe Ah well, I suppose I must play in my mind or go mad. I just hate it when I am in there playing and someone locks the door. You can go goofy in there. Yes, I ought to just stick to the works in progress.
Good night.
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