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It took me calling several times to finally get through to the place he stays. I don't know that they are truly short staffed, though they might be. Or they simply don't have a dedicated phone staff. And, as big as the place is, I can see where they would be busy in any case. Dedicated phone staff isn't always possible. No problem, just frustrating. He is at a center to help him learn to use the prosthetic. His sister now has legal authority over decisions, in case he becomes incapacitated. Though he still is basically in charge. There are many good things about the arrangement.
Anyway, what he wanted was food and more food. So after finally actually contacting him, I headed into to town and stopped to do a bit of grocery shopping. Just snack foods as he doesn't have a refrigerator. Cheese and crackers, two different kinds, peanut butter and crackers, cookies, donuts, and some other stuff. A pretty pennies worth, which should keep him in eats for a good week, as snack supplements to what they feed him anyway. I also gave him $30, as he only had $8 on him. I've been broke in a hospital before. It sucks. He doesn't have a lot of need, but who knows. Maybe they will go out some day and he will have a chance to buy a sundae, soda, or other gedunk. If nothing else, he knows he has a little bit of cash.
We chatted up a storm. I stayed, oh, maybe four hours, five? I think he needed a visitor. For a bit he had no contact with any of us. They took him in the middle of last month. He didn't have anyone's phone numbers! I suppose he couldn't remember where they were. He had half memorized them, but then the surgery and being a hospital, and trying to figure everything else out, he became befuddled. Oh, it's not an age thing, I have been there. Especially when you are really sick or in pain, the brain just can't pull it up, you become doubtful, make mistakes, then just give up. He finally just sent a letter to Newton with just my name and the city, and hoped they would know what to do with it. It worked.
For my part, I had been calling and visiting. For obvious reasons now, to no avail. I really was concerned but I had no way of... finding him, or learning his fate. I now have his sister's phone number and address. I sort of knew where she lived, but was always baffled about which street to take. There are many streets similar to it, yet when on the right street I know right how to get there. Now I have the data, which I will put both in my cell phone and in my address book. I feel bad that he was stuck and alone.
Well, it was a good talk. He really wants to get out and about. He would also like to have some of his guns available, for shooting. I suggested he speak with the facility people, and see if they would lend him a wheelchair for outside. Then speak with his sister about us visiting and getting a couple of his guns and ammunition, which I will keep for him (I am sure he can't have them where he is staying). And then let me know when would be the best time. Since he has twice daily (weekday) therapy, and other doings during the week, he thought weekends would be best. Still, I think we could at least take an afternoon drive and walk through parks but will leave that up to him. I suggested, with a wheelchair, he will finally be able to go my pace! I suggested he get a wheelchair with a windshield or get used to a road-rage hair-do. He just grinned.
They cut off up to the middle of his shin. His foot was dead, literally. There was nothing there. He still has pain, though not phantom pain so much. Learning to wear the prosthetic is something of a trick, more an endurance thing. I suggested he now knows what a horse goes through while it is being saddle trained, and I think he liked the analogy if not the fact. Still, I think he will be better for it. That foot was nothing but trouble and only a half a foot to start with. He will now have a whole foot, one that hopefully won't hurt to use.
He is looking quite thin. I hope the goodies help him regain some strength and weight. At 6', a man shouldn't weigh 130! I'll have to visit a few times a week, and bring real food and check on his snacks. I would like to make it so that I don't visit on days his other friends and family visit so as not to wear him out or leave him with more days without a visitor.
It was good to get out, myself. I didn't get everything on my list completed, but I have another shot at it tomorrow. Since I couldn't find my hatchet, and it isn't much of a hatchet in any case, I am going to look for a solid hatchet tomorrow. I might also pick up a felling axe, look over splitting wedges and a sludge hammer or better a maul. Picking up little things along the way is all I can do so it is what I do. If I can get what I consider a solid group for $150 to $200, I might just get it all. Two splitting wedges, actually, if I can. If I don't see anything local that looks good, I might just order this grouping, the splitting maul and a pair of wedges.
My appointment is early tomorrow, so I need to start figuring out how to get some sleep. I will need a bit of time to come down though. I have the windows open and fans going gangbuster to cool things off, which should help a ton. Anyway, have a great night.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
The economy, education, culture...
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I keep talking about how I feel about most of what is going on around me. I have alluded to the last scene in this movie. Well, finally, here it is. How I feel about the title can be summed up, starting at about 2:24. Don't watch this ending however, if you want to watch the whole movie (linked below... hey, a free horror flick). And I usually mention popcorn, too.
If you want to watch the whole thing, this link will take you to the start. Yes, you can watch the whole thing, but in bits (it automatically continues to play, and there are no commercials). If you want to watch a free horror.
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I keep talking about how I feel about most of what is going on around me. I have alluded to the last scene in this movie. Well, finally, here it is. How I feel about the title can be summed up, starting at about 2:24. Don't watch this ending however, if you want to watch the whole movie (linked below... hey, a free horror flick). And I usually mention popcorn, too.
If you want to watch the whole thing, this link will take you to the start. Yes, you can watch the whole thing, but in bits (it automatically continues to play, and there are no commercials). If you want to watch a free horror.
Finally unpacked.
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I keep emails saved, for purchases, until I have inspected and accepted the item(s). So the rocket stove and water pasteurizer related emails (and a ton of them) were clogging up my email box. They have been here for days now, but just... sat there, in their boxes, unopened. I finally got to it and opened them up today. They sure look bigger on the internet. This isn't an issue, at all, of course. The size is appropriate and they will function just fine and as advertised. Smaller is actually probably better. While slightly heavier then I thought, as well. I guess I didn't realize there was as much brick in there as there is. Not so heavy I, or even a woman or even a child, could not manage, mind you. Appearances can be deceiving is all. Why, my foot is as tall as the stove, and greater than the diameter (that is sort of my measure as to if something is big, medium, or small, well, added with weight. They are handsome little devices. I will keep one email so as to be sure to have the order number and such. If I get to it and try them before long, practice with them a bit, and perhaps actually cook something (but what?), I will leave a comment on their page.
Of course, opening the package and setting the stove up has me thinking I should get my hatchet and go deal with those limbs. Some of them are probably too thin, and could just disappear to dust or something (so I hear). But they would be excellent fodder if they are still useful, before they rot. Fodder to begin experimenting. Use up the stuff that would simply crumble, before it crumbles. The locals seem to have some notion, or at least lore, regarding the survival arena. Better yet, it is based on the local climate and such. Yes, I trust it. Nothing is absolute, but there are better and worse places to make your exceptions and I do trust them locally.
Yes, getting to some branches. Chopping and sorting. I will look at the website, but I think twigs and branches of about a foot long is what is needed (my foot makes a perfect measure, give or take as my feet are a bit longer and shoes make it more so). For now, lighting the fire will simply be done with matches. In time this will be an excellent way to experiment with alternative methods of lighting a fire, of which I have several, and there are other mechanical ones (pre-industrial methods) I would like to try. I am not sure what type of pot or pan will work on this cooker? Will stainless char? Should I only use cast iron? I am not sure what kind of heat to expect (what ranges of heat). Will this be hot enough to sear meat? How long to boil water? There are two doors. For wood burning, one has to be open. The other seems to be the temperature control via air flow and also probably has to be open to some degree. Want it hot? Open it up all the way. At least I am reasonably seasoned as a cook so I should be able to tell what is what with practice. I'll look around to see what others recommend about using this cooker.
Anyway, after a bit of branch work, assuming I can find my hatchet, I plan to call my friend. I am hoping he is able to have a visitor today. If so, I'll see if he needs or wants anything. It's good to be the gimp! Yeah, I'll tease him too. Just because he lost the rest of that foot doesn't mean I'm going to go all teary and crap. Plus, I want to see the stump! We'll probably chuckle about him becoming ol' pegleg. :p A visitor might help him get up and out a bit quicker. I am hoping with that troublesome foot gone, and as he learns to use the prosthetic, he will be more mobile. That foot was always sore, it was always swollen, and it wasn't complete on top of that. I had worried he had simply blown me off, for some unknown reason (though I can be an arse, duh).
Well, let me get cracking. Actually, having taken a shower yesterday, and with short hair and a baseball cap, I think I'll skip a shower until after doing the lumber jacking. :) A bit to eat, first, would be good. I don't have much on hand. Hmm, beer and Pringles? Yeah. Bleh. Later.
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I keep emails saved, for purchases, until I have inspected and accepted the item(s). So the rocket stove and water pasteurizer related emails (and a ton of them) were clogging up my email box. They have been here for days now, but just... sat there, in their boxes, unopened. I finally got to it and opened them up today. They sure look bigger on the internet. This isn't an issue, at all, of course. The size is appropriate and they will function just fine and as advertised. Smaller is actually probably better. While slightly heavier then I thought, as well. I guess I didn't realize there was as much brick in there as there is. Not so heavy I, or even a woman or even a child, could not manage, mind you. Appearances can be deceiving is all. Why, my foot is as tall as the stove, and greater than the diameter (that is sort of my measure as to if something is big, medium, or small, well, added with weight. They are handsome little devices. I will keep one email so as to be sure to have the order number and such. If I get to it and try them before long, practice with them a bit, and perhaps actually cook something (but what?), I will leave a comment on their page.
Of course, opening the package and setting the stove up has me thinking I should get my hatchet and go deal with those limbs. Some of them are probably too thin, and could just disappear to dust or something (so I hear). But they would be excellent fodder if they are still useful, before they rot. Fodder to begin experimenting. Use up the stuff that would simply crumble, before it crumbles. The locals seem to have some notion, or at least lore, regarding the survival arena. Better yet, it is based on the local climate and such. Yes, I trust it. Nothing is absolute, but there are better and worse places to make your exceptions and I do trust them locally.
Yes, getting to some branches. Chopping and sorting. I will look at the website, but I think twigs and branches of about a foot long is what is needed (my foot makes a perfect measure, give or take as my feet are a bit longer and shoes make it more so). For now, lighting the fire will simply be done with matches. In time this will be an excellent way to experiment with alternative methods of lighting a fire, of which I have several, and there are other mechanical ones (pre-industrial methods) I would like to try. I am not sure what type of pot or pan will work on this cooker? Will stainless char? Should I only use cast iron? I am not sure what kind of heat to expect (what ranges of heat). Will this be hot enough to sear meat? How long to boil water? There are two doors. For wood burning, one has to be open. The other seems to be the temperature control via air flow and also probably has to be open to some degree. Want it hot? Open it up all the way. At least I am reasonably seasoned as a cook so I should be able to tell what is what with practice. I'll look around to see what others recommend about using this cooker.
Anyway, after a bit of branch work, assuming I can find my hatchet, I plan to call my friend. I am hoping he is able to have a visitor today. If so, I'll see if he needs or wants anything. It's good to be the gimp! Yeah, I'll tease him too. Just because he lost the rest of that foot doesn't mean I'm going to go all teary and crap. Plus, I want to see the stump! We'll probably chuckle about him becoming ol' pegleg. :p A visitor might help him get up and out a bit quicker. I am hoping with that troublesome foot gone, and as he learns to use the prosthetic, he will be more mobile. That foot was always sore, it was always swollen, and it wasn't complete on top of that. I had worried he had simply blown me off, for some unknown reason (though I can be an arse, duh).
Well, let me get cracking. Actually, having taken a shower yesterday, and with short hair and a baseball cap, I think I'll skip a shower until after doing the lumber jacking. :) A bit to eat, first, would be good. I don't have much on hand. Hmm, beer and Pringles? Yeah. Bleh. Later.
Pictures tell the truth.
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I look harsh in pictures. A gnarly grumpy looking ruffled older man, that is what I see. No way around it, I look rough. I guess I am dieing, and I am well into "middle aged", so it goes with the territory. And while I have never said I believed myself to be a handsome man, health issues and age don't help. It's sort of like finding an open wound and someone coming along with a sharp stick to probe it, tossing a little salt in as well to see what happens. Never photogenic, that isn't improving. Ah well. But yeah, cameras do not lie, and worse. Don't ever believe when they say the DMV pictures are always bad, or I should say worse than the truth. Just understand, you aren't looking for a mate who shares your taste (sort of like the "When you believe you may be accosted by a bear, don't go alone, and don't worry about running faster than the bear, just make sure you run faster than your partner:). Never mind.
I am feeling better. I simply can't get off my butt. Leaditis, a disease common to me, is still keeping me down. I have been looking for that window of opportunity, that chance to escape. I was hoping yesterday, getting out and about, might... trigger something. It did not. On the good side, it didn't cause a negative slide by exhausting me further. I did get out for a meal after the class though. Nothing fancy, a lunch at Chuck-O-Rama, they have a new one in Logan. Actually, I like the place, mostly. Being new it isn't as gritty as older buffet style restaurants. Then again... Still, I like going. It's less expensive than Arby's, has more variety, and I love their fried chicken as it is one thing I have never learned to actually cook correctly. The option to have whatever looks good is simply a plus. I never really overeat, either. Two plates, not truly stacked, and I am good. I never have room for desert. Often my second plate is salads, though not yesterday. Nope, that didn't get me going but it was something new, a little more than planned, and a pleasantry to have a full course meal, with mostly meat, a bit of vegetables, and no dishes.
awake: 4:00
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I look harsh in pictures. A gnarly grumpy looking ruffled older man, that is what I see. No way around it, I look rough. I guess I am dieing, and I am well into "middle aged", so it goes with the territory. And while I have never said I believed myself to be a handsome man, health issues and age don't help. It's sort of like finding an open wound and someone coming along with a sharp stick to probe it, tossing a little salt in as well to see what happens. Never photogenic, that isn't improving. Ah well. But yeah, cameras do not lie, and worse. Don't ever believe when they say the DMV pictures are always bad, or I should say worse than the truth. Just understand, you aren't looking for a mate who shares your taste (sort of like the "When you believe you may be accosted by a bear, don't go alone, and don't worry about running faster than the bear, just make sure you run faster than your partner:). Never mind.
I am feeling better. I simply can't get off my butt. Leaditis, a disease common to me, is still keeping me down. I have been looking for that window of opportunity, that chance to escape. I was hoping yesterday, getting out and about, might... trigger something. It did not. On the good side, it didn't cause a negative slide by exhausting me further. I did get out for a meal after the class though. Nothing fancy, a lunch at Chuck-O-Rama, they have a new one in Logan. Actually, I like the place, mostly. Being new it isn't as gritty as older buffet style restaurants. Then again... Still, I like going. It's less expensive than Arby's, has more variety, and I love their fried chicken as it is one thing I have never learned to actually cook correctly. The option to have whatever looks good is simply a plus. I never really overeat, either. Two plates, not truly stacked, and I am good. I never have room for desert. Often my second plate is salads, though not yesterday. Nope, that didn't get me going but it was something new, a little more than planned, and a pleasantry to have a full course meal, with mostly meat, a bit of vegetables, and no dishes.
awake: 4:00
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Two actual letters!
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Odd. I haven't received a real letter in nearly a year and I receive two of them on the same day. I don't know about you, but I love real letters. Hand written, mind you. One was on a card, the other on simple paper. Both from people I care about, deeply, if quite differently. I may not have many friends. And my friendships may be contentious, as my lady friend termed it. But I do have good friends.
The first, from my lady friend, suggested she feels really bad about me being so ill. She even has considered moving out. She gave three reasons why she shouldn't. No, no, I won't laugh. I am sure she is almost serious, as far as serious goes. I will contact her soon, probably by phone. What she doesn't understand is... I was ill from this pretty much the whole time she knew me and long before then. Sure, the edema was a little bit of a radical departure. But it was just a few months. Anyway, it is always good to hear from her. And I do like that she has that sentiment. But more, it is good to know she is doing well. Hey, I'm a bit cheesy sometimes, but I would rather know people are doing good than most anything else. The rest just comes down to the notion that it's the thought the counts. Of course, there is more. She wrote more than what I have said but not in essence. And yet, you have to know her, and I do. For it, she "hates me". And I love it. *evil grins*
The other was from my local friend. I had tried to contact him but heard nothing. I simply couldn't get through and I couldn't seem to find him at home. I didn't know if he was avoiding me or... what. It seems he has had the rest of his foot removed. How far up his leg they went I don't know. From the sounds of it, it was quite necessary. On top of that, he has been moved. He is semi-hospitalized (or actually in a nursing facility). He must remain there until he can learn to use the prosthetic. He also seems to have a new phone number. He gave me both the new number and new address. I tried to call this evening but no one answered. I'll keep calling and see if he needs anything when I visit. I am sure visiting hours, and maybe phone times, might be limited. Hmm, I wonder what I could bring? Sausage, the good kind, and some edam cheese? Yep. And anything else he might suggest he needs.
Well, to bed early tonight, I do believe. Another hour of dinking and toodling and I'll be down for the count. Hmm, woke at 3:00, down by 21:00, 18 hours uptime. Yeah, that's good.
awake: 3:00, asleep: 22:45
(yesterday) awake: 3:00, asleep: 15:00
(All times are from when I laid down, not necessarily when I actually fell asleep but do assume significant, single period, sleep. However, in the last... many months and mostly, sleep happens rather quickly, like what you would expect when someone says they went to bed.)
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Odd. I haven't received a real letter in nearly a year and I receive two of them on the same day. I don't know about you, but I love real letters. Hand written, mind you. One was on a card, the other on simple paper. Both from people I care about, deeply, if quite differently. I may not have many friends. And my friendships may be contentious, as my lady friend termed it. But I do have good friends.
The first, from my lady friend, suggested she feels really bad about me being so ill. She even has considered moving out. She gave three reasons why she shouldn't. No, no, I won't laugh. I am sure she is almost serious, as far as serious goes. I will contact her soon, probably by phone. What she doesn't understand is... I was ill from this pretty much the whole time she knew me and long before then. Sure, the edema was a little bit of a radical departure. But it was just a few months. Anyway, it is always good to hear from her. And I do like that she has that sentiment. But more, it is good to know she is doing well. Hey, I'm a bit cheesy sometimes, but I would rather know people are doing good than most anything else. The rest just comes down to the notion that it's the thought the counts. Of course, there is more. She wrote more than what I have said but not in essence. And yet, you have to know her, and I do. For it, she "hates me". And I love it. *evil grins*
The other was from my local friend. I had tried to contact him but heard nothing. I simply couldn't get through and I couldn't seem to find him at home. I didn't know if he was avoiding me or... what. It seems he has had the rest of his foot removed. How far up his leg they went I don't know. From the sounds of it, it was quite necessary. On top of that, he has been moved. He is semi-hospitalized (or actually in a nursing facility). He must remain there until he can learn to use the prosthetic. He also seems to have a new phone number. He gave me both the new number and new address. I tried to call this evening but no one answered. I'll keep calling and see if he needs anything when I visit. I am sure visiting hours, and maybe phone times, might be limited. Hmm, I wonder what I could bring? Sausage, the good kind, and some edam cheese? Yep. And anything else he might suggest he needs.
Well, to bed early tonight, I do believe. Another hour of dinking and toodling and I'll be down for the count. Hmm, woke at 3:00, down by 21:00, 18 hours uptime. Yeah, that's good.
awake: 3:00, asleep: 22:45
(yesterday) awake: 3:00, asleep: 15:00
(All times are from when I laid down, not necessarily when I actually fell asleep but do assume significant, single period, sleep. However, in the last... many months and mostly, sleep happens rather quickly, like what you would expect when someone says they went to bed.)
The two pistols on my list.
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I know, too early to be too hopeful. But one can't help dreaming. The two pistols on my list I could probably get sooner rather than later are topping my list, currently. One for those times when almost no pistol seems possible (think shorts and t-shirt, or swim trunks). The other for more general small carry. I do like revolvers, if they aren't as fun to shoot (as a 14 round .45). They work, every time. I think I am stuck on that S&W Chief Special for the .357 mag. Weight isn't an issue for me, in conceal carry, at least not like it is with most people. Further, the extra weight of a steel gun reduces recoil. I am able to shoot my friend's .357 magnum with full .357 (+P, as he likes to load them hot!) with a single hand (and bounce a can at 35 plus feet). His is even a pug, sub 2" barrel. The Chief has a 3" barrel (the one that I want, there are two types of Chiefs, at least). The other pistol comes highly recommended by a source I trust (though hand size might or might not be an issue). I am not sure I can use it. I will have to see if someone around has one for range rent. It's called a Black Widow, a 22 mag (and I can get a .22 lr cylinder for it as well, I do believe).
Yeah, I still want that shotgun, the KSG. I have heard Kel-Tec is synonymous with poor delivery. They offer possibly cutting edge weapons and either they are fail or they are impossible to get. Then instead of printing them per demand, they just move on to... something else cool and interesting. I can hope they will be better poised to pounce on opportunity, with the economy the way it is. Or I will simply have to wait for the patents to die for someone with an interest in making a buck to come along and copy, and produce in numbers. Plus, it won't be out until the end of the year, so I would have time to reconfigure my savings.
Why three carry pistols? First, I like having a backup. Second, there are different situations that call for different types of carry. Beyond all that? If allowed... How about because I can? If I get my permit I plan to carry at all times (when legal to do so). I see it as a civil duty, no less than voting. I see it as a right that should be exercised (or it will be lost). It is seriously doubtful I will ever have to use it. I do avoid bad parts of cities. I do my work in the day (when possible). I avoid trouble and can almost smell it. Even if someone broke into my home, I have doubts I would actually have to shoot, not here. Probably just someone's problem child and I really wouldn't send them a corpse because they have a stupid kid. I might train my gun on someone like that, then merely call the cops whatever else happened (assuming they froze or ran).
Jazzed by the class I guess. I could have gotten a conceal carry in Iowa, I had a permit to buy handguns for four years. There really shouldn't be an issue. Who knows though, Utah is different from Iowa. However this time I will get to the bottom of any problems, and if it is somehow the V.A., I will get people on that. From what I am seeing with my heart doctors, they realize it was a terrible mistake to have listed me as psychiatric. I think they darn well know my problem has simply been heart related. They know the symptomology. It fits. That my heart was simply not explored as a problem is a shame, and embarrassment, even though I was pretty young when it became an issue. Sure, it wasn't them, but it was their field. Anyway, I will get the permit if I can.
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I know, too early to be too hopeful. But one can't help dreaming. The two pistols on my list I could probably get sooner rather than later are topping my list, currently. One for those times when almost no pistol seems possible (think shorts and t-shirt, or swim trunks). The other for more general small carry. I do like revolvers, if they aren't as fun to shoot (as a 14 round .45). They work, every time. I think I am stuck on that S&W Chief Special for the .357 mag. Weight isn't an issue for me, in conceal carry, at least not like it is with most people. Further, the extra weight of a steel gun reduces recoil. I am able to shoot my friend's .357 magnum with full .357 (+P, as he likes to load them hot!) with a single hand (and bounce a can at 35 plus feet). His is even a pug, sub 2" barrel. The Chief has a 3" barrel (the one that I want, there are two types of Chiefs, at least). The other pistol comes highly recommended by a source I trust (though hand size might or might not be an issue). I am not sure I can use it. I will have to see if someone around has one for range rent. It's called a Black Widow, a 22 mag (and I can get a .22 lr cylinder for it as well, I do believe).
Yeah, I still want that shotgun, the KSG. I have heard Kel-Tec is synonymous with poor delivery. They offer possibly cutting edge weapons and either they are fail or they are impossible to get. Then instead of printing them per demand, they just move on to... something else cool and interesting. I can hope they will be better poised to pounce on opportunity, with the economy the way it is. Or I will simply have to wait for the patents to die for someone with an interest in making a buck to come along and copy, and produce in numbers. Plus, it won't be out until the end of the year, so I would have time to reconfigure my savings.
Why three carry pistols? First, I like having a backup. Second, there are different situations that call for different types of carry. Beyond all that? If allowed... How about because I can? If I get my permit I plan to carry at all times (when legal to do so). I see it as a civil duty, no less than voting. I see it as a right that should be exercised (or it will be lost). It is seriously doubtful I will ever have to use it. I do avoid bad parts of cities. I do my work in the day (when possible). I avoid trouble and can almost smell it. Even if someone broke into my home, I have doubts I would actually have to shoot, not here. Probably just someone's problem child and I really wouldn't send them a corpse because they have a stupid kid. I might train my gun on someone like that, then merely call the cops whatever else happened (assuming they froze or ran).
Jazzed by the class I guess. I could have gotten a conceal carry in Iowa, I had a permit to buy handguns for four years. There really shouldn't be an issue. Who knows though, Utah is different from Iowa. However this time I will get to the bottom of any problems, and if it is somehow the V.A., I will get people on that. From what I am seeing with my heart doctors, they realize it was a terrible mistake to have listed me as psychiatric. I think they darn well know my problem has simply been heart related. They know the symptomology. It fits. That my heart was simply not explored as a problem is a shame, and embarrassment, even though I was pretty young when it became an issue. Sure, it wasn't them, but it was their field. Anyway, I will get the permit if I can.
I made it.
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On time and actually a bit early. I left early enough to have had breakfast somewhere. And, probably could have had breakfast. However, wanting to look the place over before having to be there, and not sure about how long of a trip it would be, I went by the place first. There wasn't a place to stop and eat, that I saw. I did drive to the next town over. They didn't have a restaurant either. So, back to the shop and a short wait.
The class was mostly for newbies. Which was fine, I sort of expected that. However, there were bits of information that were very important. For one thing, and the most important thing, was what "empty" means regarding sidearms. For an auto, it means a full magazine, in place, just no bullet in the tube. Okay, now this is far different from what empty meant in Iowa. Empty meant no bullets within reasonable reach and no magazine near any bullets or the gun. Yeah. So, you can open carry with a live mag just no bullet chambered. And, yes, I can live with that. For revolvers it means two open chambers, one the hammer rests upon and the next one in the cycle. That was critical, to my way of thinking.
Now, remember, most of these people are civilians. They are non-combatants. They have never fired, nor even been trained to fire, in anything like a real full on combat situation. Further, even if they believe in gun ownership, many are still squeamish about guns, and more importantly about using them. So... I did feel out of place. And, no, I'm not gun happy or gun crazy. No, I wouldn't shoot first and ask questions later. Merely, I am as comfortable with guns as I am with water or driving (more than driving actually) or going to Church (in theory). I would not have a problem killing, either. I would prefer not to, for a number of reasons. But left with little choice and only a moment to choose, I would choose my or another life (of mine) over some stranger or aggressor. And I already know it wouldn't bug me if it went down rightly.
Now, on the other hand, I don't have a passel of kids and a wife to consider. I can be much more cavalier about having a full on loaded pistol anywhere in my house, unlocked and in the open. I don't have people around me who are terrified of guns. My mother, perhaps, but then again I don't toy with my guns around her (or, even when she isn't around). I don't have anything to worry about, including myself. I don't have weird thoughts of suicide or homicide. Such things don't plague me. I am very emotionally stable, and have become even more so through personal gun ownership. A new owner has to make a concentrated effort to figure it all out. The Navy figured it out for me, to a degree, with my allowance of course. And I have figured much out since. Still, it was good to see four women in the group. Though it sounded like none of them would regularly carry (the ones who spoke). Then again, they all seemed nervous about their children (who do like to crawl all over mommy during snuggle time) finding or discharging the gun. I suppose they would save carrying for trips, specific need, etc. Fair enough. And, it's sort of a non-feminine thing.
Anyway, I have the stuff to take in. I believe I have an appointment very soon. I won't, of course, need to take my gun. Couldn't as I can't have my pistol at the V.A. I totally disagree with that. Perhaps with a proper president, and since the psychiatric portion is in a separate building, we might be allowed to have our rights honoered "on federal grounds". Think about that. Just... think about that for a second? Really? We can't have permitted concealed weapons... ON FEDERAL GROUNDS? Really? How insane is that? Never mind.
It is merely by luck that I was able to be awake and there, on time. I seem to make medical appointments, but that edema really caught hold of my attention and the medicines have worked a bit (when I don't tinker or miss out). The rest of life is very difficult to manage. A hook in my nose would work, but then someone would be having to deal with blood rage at some point. A fish net would be of no good use to someone who pulled me in with a fish hook. I am grateful to have made it! Oh, the guy sells guns, sort of. He more or less hooks up those who can legally own guns as a side, nearly profitless, business. So, yeah. I will give him my business if it all works out. I like supporting such types.
.
On time and actually a bit early. I left early enough to have had breakfast somewhere. And, probably could have had breakfast. However, wanting to look the place over before having to be there, and not sure about how long of a trip it would be, I went by the place first. There wasn't a place to stop and eat, that I saw. I did drive to the next town over. They didn't have a restaurant either. So, back to the shop and a short wait.
The class was mostly for newbies. Which was fine, I sort of expected that. However, there were bits of information that were very important. For one thing, and the most important thing, was what "empty" means regarding sidearms. For an auto, it means a full magazine, in place, just no bullet in the tube. Okay, now this is far different from what empty meant in Iowa. Empty meant no bullets within reasonable reach and no magazine near any bullets or the gun. Yeah. So, you can open carry with a live mag just no bullet chambered. And, yes, I can live with that. For revolvers it means two open chambers, one the hammer rests upon and the next one in the cycle. That was critical, to my way of thinking.
Now, remember, most of these people are civilians. They are non-combatants. They have never fired, nor even been trained to fire, in anything like a real full on combat situation. Further, even if they believe in gun ownership, many are still squeamish about guns, and more importantly about using them. So... I did feel out of place. And, no, I'm not gun happy or gun crazy. No, I wouldn't shoot first and ask questions later. Merely, I am as comfortable with guns as I am with water or driving (more than driving actually) or going to Church (in theory). I would not have a problem killing, either. I would prefer not to, for a number of reasons. But left with little choice and only a moment to choose, I would choose my or another life (of mine) over some stranger or aggressor. And I already know it wouldn't bug me if it went down rightly.
Now, on the other hand, I don't have a passel of kids and a wife to consider. I can be much more cavalier about having a full on loaded pistol anywhere in my house, unlocked and in the open. I don't have people around me who are terrified of guns. My mother, perhaps, but then again I don't toy with my guns around her (or, even when she isn't around). I don't have anything to worry about, including myself. I don't have weird thoughts of suicide or homicide. Such things don't plague me. I am very emotionally stable, and have become even more so through personal gun ownership. A new owner has to make a concentrated effort to figure it all out. The Navy figured it out for me, to a degree, with my allowance of course. And I have figured much out since. Still, it was good to see four women in the group. Though it sounded like none of them would regularly carry (the ones who spoke). Then again, they all seemed nervous about their children (who do like to crawl all over mommy during snuggle time) finding or discharging the gun. I suppose they would save carrying for trips, specific need, etc. Fair enough. And, it's sort of a non-feminine thing.
Anyway, I have the stuff to take in. I believe I have an appointment very soon. I won't, of course, need to take my gun. Couldn't as I can't have my pistol at the V.A. I totally disagree with that. Perhaps with a proper president, and since the psychiatric portion is in a separate building, we might be allowed to have our rights honoered "on federal grounds". Think about that. Just... think about that for a second? Really? We can't have permitted concealed weapons... ON FEDERAL GROUNDS? Really? How insane is that? Never mind.
It is merely by luck that I was able to be awake and there, on time. I seem to make medical appointments, but that edema really caught hold of my attention and the medicines have worked a bit (when I don't tinker or miss out). The rest of life is very difficult to manage. A hook in my nose would work, but then someone would be having to deal with blood rage at some point. A fish net would be of no good use to someone who pulled me in with a fish hook. I am grateful to have made it! Oh, the guy sells guns, sort of. He more or less hooks up those who can legally own guns as a side, nearly profitless, business. So, yeah. I will give him my business if it all works out. I like supporting such types.
Exciting!
.
.
I don't know if I will end up with my ccp, but I am about try. A shower, shave, and the breakfast somewhere. A small breakfast so I don't get sleepy. Eating a large meal doesn't always cause it, but it can. It depends on the class a bit too.
I keep reading about guys who, faced with a bad situation, learn and become more proactive. They learn martial arts, lift weights, and buy a pistol and then on to other firearms or even other weapons. For me, I have only known the type of life that they suddenly become aware of. Many of them realize they are fodder, game, prey, but didn't for most of their lives.
I think the difference between me and many others is; I realize this is just the way of life, it has probably been this way since the beginning of man. Cain and Able were just the first we know of.; Getting in shape, arming up, learning combat, practicing with firearms... All of it is nice, and I would propose people do that, just not to the exclusion of all else. It will eat you up. Further, those things are wise, but they are far from a guarantee. The best warriors in the world die every day.; And, probably worse, should you become a true warrior, a powerhouse, a weaponized human... you then face the prospect that you will become a threat. Most people live like you used to live. Telling the sheep, who you could quite accidentally kill, and the wolves who are an actual threat, apart, is a whole other game.
If you choose to live a proper life, not partying, not going out late, not being around drunks and drug users, and you choose to live in small conservative communities, your life just became almost perfectly safe (all else being equal). Sure, if the markets melt down, if the Euro collapses, if the dollar dies, yes, then there is something else. But if you are useful and fit your small community, you are probably in the best place you could be. It amazes me how choosing a specific lifestyle, and location, has changed my whole notion of safety. Sure, my neighbors could become dangerous. That is unlikely. If for no other reason that the known is safer than the unknown, my reputation seems to have proceeded me (the generally good and knowledge of past moral issues), and the understanding that, in hard situations, numbers are important. Especially hard-tack numbers. And of course, the notion that I am not a simple man, I might be more than what I seem, even beyond what they suspect or have heard. And of course, the almost certainty that I wouldn't be an easy target.
I guess, for me, it just amazes me that so many people go through life with no clue. By the time I was ten I realized I was on my own and that life was very hard. I knew there were people, singular or in groups, who could, would, and did hurt me. Hard. I also learned how to survive without giving in or out. I learned how to schedule things, how to arrange the politics of a fight, how to negotiate the aftermath, and how to win. I even learned, when it was right, to run. I went through twelve more years of open contact fighting. No rules, no safety net, just knuckles on flesh. Stopping when I became ill. But I have more combat training and experience than most people you will ever meet. I guess I just don't understand most people. They really can't even defend themselves. They really don't know that they may need to defend themselves. They are the ones who are truly dangerous. You don't know what they can or will do, and selling out, giving up, is all they know.
Well, on to my morning. Good day. I suppose I pray that more people wake up to what the world is, where it is going, and begin changing. That's a hard thing, growing up. Not doing so is far worse. Later.
.
I don't know if I will end up with my ccp, but I am about try. A shower, shave, and the breakfast somewhere. A small breakfast so I don't get sleepy. Eating a large meal doesn't always cause it, but it can. It depends on the class a bit too.
I keep reading about guys who, faced with a bad situation, learn and become more proactive. They learn martial arts, lift weights, and buy a pistol and then on to other firearms or even other weapons. For me, I have only known the type of life that they suddenly become aware of. Many of them realize they are fodder, game, prey, but didn't for most of their lives.
I think the difference between me and many others is; I realize this is just the way of life, it has probably been this way since the beginning of man. Cain and Able were just the first we know of.; Getting in shape, arming up, learning combat, practicing with firearms... All of it is nice, and I would propose people do that, just not to the exclusion of all else. It will eat you up. Further, those things are wise, but they are far from a guarantee. The best warriors in the world die every day.; And, probably worse, should you become a true warrior, a powerhouse, a weaponized human... you then face the prospect that you will become a threat. Most people live like you used to live. Telling the sheep, who you could quite accidentally kill, and the wolves who are an actual threat, apart, is a whole other game.
If you choose to live a proper life, not partying, not going out late, not being around drunks and drug users, and you choose to live in small conservative communities, your life just became almost perfectly safe (all else being equal). Sure, if the markets melt down, if the Euro collapses, if the dollar dies, yes, then there is something else. But if you are useful and fit your small community, you are probably in the best place you could be. It amazes me how choosing a specific lifestyle, and location, has changed my whole notion of safety. Sure, my neighbors could become dangerous. That is unlikely. If for no other reason that the known is safer than the unknown, my reputation seems to have proceeded me (the generally good and knowledge of past moral issues), and the understanding that, in hard situations, numbers are important. Especially hard-tack numbers. And of course, the notion that I am not a simple man, I might be more than what I seem, even beyond what they suspect or have heard. And of course, the almost certainty that I wouldn't be an easy target.
I guess, for me, it just amazes me that so many people go through life with no clue. By the time I was ten I realized I was on my own and that life was very hard. I knew there were people, singular or in groups, who could, would, and did hurt me. Hard. I also learned how to survive without giving in or out. I learned how to schedule things, how to arrange the politics of a fight, how to negotiate the aftermath, and how to win. I even learned, when it was right, to run. I went through twelve more years of open contact fighting. No rules, no safety net, just knuckles on flesh. Stopping when I became ill. But I have more combat training and experience than most people you will ever meet. I guess I just don't understand most people. They really can't even defend themselves. They really don't know that they may need to defend themselves. They are the ones who are truly dangerous. You don't know what they can or will do, and selling out, giving up, is all they know.
Well, on to my morning. Good day. I suppose I pray that more people wake up to what the world is, where it is going, and begin changing. That's a hard thing, growing up. Not doing so is far worse. Later.
Oh well.
.
.
I am up in time to go to the class this morning. It's a four hour class. Nothing fancy, just the facts. I will look over the email. I know I am supposed to bring a pen with black (NOT BLUE) ink. I will need to sign a waiver of some sort, which I have read and agree to in mind. My printer isn't working so I can't print and sign ahead of time. Oh, and I need to have $35 on me. I do, but not in change, so I might replace some of the ones I keep on hand for a twenty, in case they can't make change (many people pay with checks or cards these days).
Not much else is going on. I just haven't been able to push through. When I can't use the computer as a crutch to stay awake, and often far too long, then I sleep. Just keeping on medicine and slipping a bit but trying to stay on the feedbag and liquids, is about the sum of things. I'll get to it, soon. Doldrums, that's about the way of it. As I said before though, I am doing better. This, for years at a time, was the high point. This current low was as good as it got. I have to keep that in mind, not let my grip slip, not quit. This IS good. It just isn't as good as it can and will again get.
I suppose, once the medicine is at therapeutic levels, and there for three months or so, we will then check the heart function. No, I am not at max (therapeutic) levels yet. Going up too fast causes my blood pressure to drop far too low and too quickly. Medicine is sort of like walking a tightwire. That is why that messup cost me so dearly (and why I really have to try not to let it happen again). Getting back on the wire, midpoint, is more than a trick (and that is why I am having such problems right now). It is also why I am biting my tongue and just trying to be patient. I have seen what it can do. It is worth the effort, including a bit of waiting, patience.
.
I am up in time to go to the class this morning. It's a four hour class. Nothing fancy, just the facts. I will look over the email. I know I am supposed to bring a pen with black (NOT BLUE) ink. I will need to sign a waiver of some sort, which I have read and agree to in mind. My printer isn't working so I can't print and sign ahead of time. Oh, and I need to have $35 on me. I do, but not in change, so I might replace some of the ones I keep on hand for a twenty, in case they can't make change (many people pay with checks or cards these days).
Not much else is going on. I just haven't been able to push through. When I can't use the computer as a crutch to stay awake, and often far too long, then I sleep. Just keeping on medicine and slipping a bit but trying to stay on the feedbag and liquids, is about the sum of things. I'll get to it, soon. Doldrums, that's about the way of it. As I said before though, I am doing better. This, for years at a time, was the high point. This current low was as good as it got. I have to keep that in mind, not let my grip slip, not quit. This IS good. It just isn't as good as it can and will again get.
I suppose, once the medicine is at therapeutic levels, and there for three months or so, we will then check the heart function. No, I am not at max (therapeutic) levels yet. Going up too fast causes my blood pressure to drop far too low and too quickly. Medicine is sort of like walking a tightwire. That is why that messup cost me so dearly (and why I really have to try not to let it happen again). Getting back on the wire, midpoint, is more than a trick (and that is why I am having such problems right now). It is also why I am biting my tongue and just trying to be patient. I have seen what it can do. It is worth the effort, including a bit of waiting, patience.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Yeah, well...
.
.
Not much happening today. I just can't seem to get going. Medicine was taken, of course. Cats have been fed and watered. If they keeping goofing, they might get planted too! Then again, I am weening them off the canned cat food, I expected restless natives. Sam just stays gone longer and Sassy varies. Sometimes she goes on the attack, sometimes she just curls up and sleeps more. Both beg pretty hard. A can and a half for Sassy and a half a can for Sam, that's it.
I'm just not able to get going. I have something early tomorrow morning, a class for ccp. I don't know if it will go through but I think it has a chance. If there was an identification problem before, fingerprints will clear that up. There is no shooting part to it, which is too bad. Adding in a shooting requirement would open up a number more states for reciprocity. As is, with a ccp from Utah, I can travel to Iowa (and now be in Iowa) acceptably. And while traveling I really like having a pistol or three right there. It helps with vibrancy. Ah-ha! No one ever expects a .45 when trying to rob!
Hmm, I need the fans going. Maybe that will help. Later.
.
Not much happening today. I just can't seem to get going. Medicine was taken, of course. Cats have been fed and watered. If they keeping goofing, they might get planted too! Then again, I am weening them off the canned cat food, I expected restless natives. Sam just stays gone longer and Sassy varies. Sometimes she goes on the attack, sometimes she just curls up and sleeps more. Both beg pretty hard. A can and a half for Sassy and a half a can for Sam, that's it.
I'm just not able to get going. I have something early tomorrow morning, a class for ccp. I don't know if it will go through but I think it has a chance. If there was an identification problem before, fingerprints will clear that up. There is no shooting part to it, which is too bad. Adding in a shooting requirement would open up a number more states for reciprocity. As is, with a ccp from Utah, I can travel to Iowa (and now be in Iowa) acceptably. And while traveling I really like having a pistol or three right there. It helps with vibrancy. Ah-ha! No one ever expects a .45 when trying to rob!
Hmm, I need the fans going. Maybe that will help. Later.
What a storm!
.
.
What rolled through here was nothing short of one of the finest thunderstorms I have seen. It has to rank in the top 40, and I'm a fanboy of hell, rain, lightening, and thunder. I am not sure how long it went on, but it woke me around 23:00 and I think went on another fifteen minutes to half an hour. I wanted to get up, check the windows, and begin my "day", but the lights were out, power down. I used to keep my flashlight by the bed but it has been moved over time. So I had to blindly search the house for anything. The first thing I was sure of was matches in a cupboard in the kitchen.
Actually, I was quite easily able to find my way in there, find the matches, and get some light. Then I remembered I had taken my favored flashlight into the reloading room. Sorry, but I just wasn't going to take a lit match in there. Had to think a moment. Ah, another flashlight in a kitchen drawer! I got that out and flicked it on. What a hunk of junk. It worked but was terrible. It was from a $70 dollar Snap-On flashlight set. I thought the batteries were dieing. Nope, new batteries, same crappy light, and no way to focus. Oh well. I used it to look for my $12 cheapo Guide Gear flashlight. Dang but I love me some cheapo! That thing is absolute light, it is on spot, focused, and has a large beam. It is more powerful than the 4-D flashlight from the Snap-On kit. It fits my hand perfectly, has a butt-plate switch, glass breaking butt round, and makes me proud to once in a while try the cheap stuff.
Anyway, I finally got it all together, checked the windows (the storm was coming in from the South-West I believe, but the rain was pouring in from the North windows, had to close those. There was some serious wind action going on there. The bummer was, in finding everything, checking windows, and finally getting to a point where I might be able to watch the storm, the excitement had pretty much passed. I could hear the thunder though, while doing all my doings. It sounded like the lightening was fingering out. Oh yeah, I do love that. When you see huge flashes coming right in your window, then five or ten seconds later you hear the sound and can still hear the separate fingerlings, you know you've got a light show going on. Maybe some time I will get to see that. I absolutely love watching that.
Anyway, with nothing on, moving, or doing, I just went back to bed. I woke at 3:00, lights were back on, so I got up. Now, to figure out what to do. I'm still just not up to snuff. Pushing doesn't help. For me, the thing is to stay on my medicines, to eat, to hydrate properly, and to do whatever it is I can do. So, that is what I will do, am doing. Medicines down the hatch, including the oft forgotten potassium, a shower, and maybe the bike today when the sun comes up. The deliveryman hadn't delivered the stove when I went to sleep yesterday (sometime after 15:00, or he snuck in and didn't ring). I was sitting right near the door and didn't hear a thing (and I hear well and am always listening intently). But I have noticed deliverymen have become extremely "efficient" lately. My guess is companies are laying off, the slow(er) first. It is now cutthroat for them? Yeah, probably. Odd thing is, with the storm coming from the South-West... and rain (deluge type) beating in through an overhang on the North side, the boxes on the South side were... dry? Weird as heck.
(Woke at 3:00)
.
What rolled through here was nothing short of one of the finest thunderstorms I have seen. It has to rank in the top 40, and I'm a fanboy of hell, rain, lightening, and thunder. I am not sure how long it went on, but it woke me around 23:00 and I think went on another fifteen minutes to half an hour. I wanted to get up, check the windows, and begin my "day", but the lights were out, power down. I used to keep my flashlight by the bed but it has been moved over time. So I had to blindly search the house for anything. The first thing I was sure of was matches in a cupboard in the kitchen.
Actually, I was quite easily able to find my way in there, find the matches, and get some light. Then I remembered I had taken my favored flashlight into the reloading room. Sorry, but I just wasn't going to take a lit match in there. Had to think a moment. Ah, another flashlight in a kitchen drawer! I got that out and flicked it on. What a hunk of junk. It worked but was terrible. It was from a $70 dollar Snap-On flashlight set. I thought the batteries were dieing. Nope, new batteries, same crappy light, and no way to focus. Oh well. I used it to look for my $12 cheapo Guide Gear flashlight. Dang but I love me some cheapo! That thing is absolute light, it is on spot, focused, and has a large beam. It is more powerful than the 4-D flashlight from the Snap-On kit. It fits my hand perfectly, has a butt-plate switch, glass breaking butt round, and makes me proud to once in a while try the cheap stuff.
Anyway, I finally got it all together, checked the windows (the storm was coming in from the South-West I believe, but the rain was pouring in from the North windows, had to close those. There was some serious wind action going on there. The bummer was, in finding everything, checking windows, and finally getting to a point where I might be able to watch the storm, the excitement had pretty much passed. I could hear the thunder though, while doing all my doings. It sounded like the lightening was fingering out. Oh yeah, I do love that. When you see huge flashes coming right in your window, then five or ten seconds later you hear the sound and can still hear the separate fingerlings, you know you've got a light show going on. Maybe some time I will get to see that. I absolutely love watching that.
Anyway, with nothing on, moving, or doing, I just went back to bed. I woke at 3:00, lights were back on, so I got up. Now, to figure out what to do. I'm still just not up to snuff. Pushing doesn't help. For me, the thing is to stay on my medicines, to eat, to hydrate properly, and to do whatever it is I can do. So, that is what I will do, am doing. Medicines down the hatch, including the oft forgotten potassium, a shower, and maybe the bike today when the sun comes up. The deliveryman hadn't delivered the stove when I went to sleep yesterday (sometime after 15:00, or he snuck in and didn't ring). I was sitting right near the door and didn't hear a thing (and I hear well and am always listening intently). But I have noticed deliverymen have become extremely "efficient" lately. My guess is companies are laying off, the slow(er) first. It is now cutthroat for them? Yeah, probably. Odd thing is, with the storm coming from the South-West... and rain (deluge type) beating in through an overhang on the North side, the boxes on the South side were... dry? Weird as heck.
(Woke at 3:00)
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Long days indeed.
.
.
I knew this would be part of getting back on 'the wagon'. That medicinal malfunction messed things up pretty good, along with the extra fluid retention. It will take, as I said, another week or two to get things back to function. Knowing what the problem is does not make fixing it any faster. What knowing does is keeps me focused on staying on track. Even though I now realize there probably is no getting back to full health. Even if I can get my heart to pump normal amounts, which is improbable, figuring out life after 20 years and change of living a certain way is going to be another thing. And, being 20 years and change older adds to the mix of uncertainty.
Of course I don't really worry. I am used to living on a day to day, do what I can, take it as it comes methodology. There is always some hope that I could find my way through, say to college and a job. Maybe more. For the first time in two decades I at least know what my bogyman is. I have biometric parameters I can check which do line up with lack of function. I do see improvements, if more slowly than what I like, when these things are tended. I have doctors who are earning my trust.
My days are getting very long. The cool weather is probably helping keep the thing under wraps though. A 36 hour day is not unusual. The trick I have to keep in mind is continuing to take my medicines. When your day starts one morning and ends the afternoon of the next day, it becomes a little uncomfortable knowing when to take medicine. More so when that stretch feels normal, easy, typical, somehow. I am not sure how long I am sleeping, I simply have just been going to sleep when needed and waking at some point, usually feeling rested and comfortable. Perhaps now that I am doing better I can begin tracking that. It had been useless to play with it just recently.
I just write stuff here as a distraction, as a hobby, to clear thoughts, set goals, interact, and perhaps keep my writing and logic skills, slim as they are, up to some standards. Even if the internet is proving unreliable as a solid source of easy information, it is proving to be a bit of a lifeline and social forum. I can take that. Thanks Al. Ha!
Have a great day. Maybe I will get to the bike today. No, I didn't get to it. Yes, yes, I said I would. No, I won't... Get... get off my back! :p But have a good day anywhile.
.
I knew this would be part of getting back on 'the wagon'. That medicinal malfunction messed things up pretty good, along with the extra fluid retention. It will take, as I said, another week or two to get things back to function. Knowing what the problem is does not make fixing it any faster. What knowing does is keeps me focused on staying on track. Even though I now realize there probably is no getting back to full health. Even if I can get my heart to pump normal amounts, which is improbable, figuring out life after 20 years and change of living a certain way is going to be another thing. And, being 20 years and change older adds to the mix of uncertainty.
Of course I don't really worry. I am used to living on a day to day, do what I can, take it as it comes methodology. There is always some hope that I could find my way through, say to college and a job. Maybe more. For the first time in two decades I at least know what my bogyman is. I have biometric parameters I can check which do line up with lack of function. I do see improvements, if more slowly than what I like, when these things are tended. I have doctors who are earning my trust.
My days are getting very long. The cool weather is probably helping keep the thing under wraps though. A 36 hour day is not unusual. The trick I have to keep in mind is continuing to take my medicines. When your day starts one morning and ends the afternoon of the next day, it becomes a little uncomfortable knowing when to take medicine. More so when that stretch feels normal, easy, typical, somehow. I am not sure how long I am sleeping, I simply have just been going to sleep when needed and waking at some point, usually feeling rested and comfortable. Perhaps now that I am doing better I can begin tracking that. It had been useless to play with it just recently.
I just write stuff here as a distraction, as a hobby, to clear thoughts, set goals, interact, and perhaps keep my writing and logic skills, slim as they are, up to some standards. Even if the internet is proving unreliable as a solid source of easy information, it is proving to be a bit of a lifeline and social forum. I can take that. Thanks Al. Ha!
Have a great day. Maybe I will get to the bike today. No, I didn't get to it. Yes, yes, I said I would. No, I won't... Get... get off my back! :p But have a good day anywhile.
Odd things, but...
.
.
I keep thinking about the kitchen. What to do, how to get it done, costs. A kitchen is a huge project. If well designed, a kitchen is an amazing place. The heat needed for cooking is kept tamed, the air flow needed to cool or maintain heat is readily available, the floors and walls are safe, there is space for cooking and baking goods and consumables, there is plenty of easy access space for preparing food, and cleanup is simple and easy access. Designed poorly and the place is unsafe, uncomfortable, unsatisfactory, unpleasant, and any or all of those and more. My kitchen, plain and simple, is a nuisance. I have a huge space and yet no place to work at all. Beside making the kitchen useable, improvements would add value to the house as a whole.
Something else I keep looking at, wood fired cooking stoves, and this stove. They seem to indicate these can work as house heaters, too. But I am dubious about that. I love the looks of the second one, but the function of the first one a lot more. Oh, I remember my foster mother tending this to cook and bake when we were in the mountains, at their cabin. We also had a standard fireplace there. She had one like the prettier one, if not quite as fancy. She made it seem simple, but it wasn't. Adding wood at just the right time and adjusting vents to maintain a specific temp. Starting the fire then waiting while it heated. Cleaning out the dust was messy, if she made even that look easy. She had talent, though by the time I knew her she had nearly 20 years of (albeit just summer) practice with the contraption. A family uses 8 to 12 cords of wood a year (in the northern climbs). A cord, in Utah, if I saw correctly, goes for around $125, plus delivery. Or, a permit to collect is $7.50 a cord with a minimum of 4 cords per permit. That, of course, would require the tools to take lumber and the capacity to haul it. Ugh, never ending. There is another downside. You always smell like a smoker. Maybe things have improved, but I am doubting it. My first year up there I still smoked, yes, only a 7th grader, hushit. I could always find cigarettes, just... followed my nose and kept my eyes open, if pilfering was needed. Up there they never could tell I had been smoking.
I don't know, just something on my mind. Actually, if I was to do that, I would also consider a smaller but regular wood heater in the living room. I still haven't investigated the old fireplace here. Even if it isn't up to specs, it would probably still do just fine with an insert. An insert would be a lot more fuel efficient, too. The thing is, until I decide I can even afford to break into the drywall to check about the fireplace, I can't know if an insert will work. It depends on which way the fireplace opening is facing. The thing is, with all that, we are talking about $6k to $10k, just in purchase price. Taxes, delivery, installation, alterations... extra. Yeah. But it is on the backburner for when I win the lottery! Maybe I ought to start playing? Ha, one of the other good things about Utah? No lottery. It's an honest state. (And, no, I would not play the lotto even if it were here, nor should you. Even if you aren't into the whole morality thing, perhaps you should be into the whole math and economic thing? Doh!)
Some things to consider when considering updating my kitchen. Going forward is not always going... well... forward. You can keep your stainless appliances. You can keep your electric. You can keep dainty materials that won't hold up to an ogre chef. But that doesn't mean it will be cheap, either. Trading in flash for good quality means solid materials and workmanship, things that are more at a premium than ever.
Oh, sounds like my outside wood/coal oven and water pasteurizer are here. The delivery company called and asked for my physical address. That disappoints me a bit. The problem ordering, as I came to figure out, was that the address section would not take both of my addresses for my credit card to work. At first, when doing it, it looked like both were required, but only one was really needed. Taking a break from it allowed me to see the missing detail when I returned to try again. So, I took off my physical address. I noticed they had a place for "extra instructions". So, I wrote a brief simple note indicating that, should they not be using USPS (should I have spelled it out?), that they send it to my physical address, which I supplied. Well, no real bother unless I hadn't happened to be awake to receive the call. Remember now, for most of my twenty years of illness, when I happened to be awake, I was almost exclusively awake in the afternoons or even more so at night. Bah!
Hmm, come to think of it, that is quite a change. As recently as two years ago, I was almost always only awake at night. I still sometimes go through that, but it isn't the usual. Just... noticing things I guess. Oh, on the good side with the wood stove consideration... Since I am planning to upgrade the kitchen, I could add in special insulation so that I could have the stove more flush with the walls. Hmm, I keep thinking on it all.
Later.
.
I keep thinking about the kitchen. What to do, how to get it done, costs. A kitchen is a huge project. If well designed, a kitchen is an amazing place. The heat needed for cooking is kept tamed, the air flow needed to cool or maintain heat is readily available, the floors and walls are safe, there is space for cooking and baking goods and consumables, there is plenty of easy access space for preparing food, and cleanup is simple and easy access. Designed poorly and the place is unsafe, uncomfortable, unsatisfactory, unpleasant, and any or all of those and more. My kitchen, plain and simple, is a nuisance. I have a huge space and yet no place to work at all. Beside making the kitchen useable, improvements would add value to the house as a whole.
Something else I keep looking at, wood fired cooking stoves, and this stove. They seem to indicate these can work as house heaters, too. But I am dubious about that. I love the looks of the second one, but the function of the first one a lot more. Oh, I remember my foster mother tending this to cook and bake when we were in the mountains, at their cabin. We also had a standard fireplace there. She had one like the prettier one, if not quite as fancy. She made it seem simple, but it wasn't. Adding wood at just the right time and adjusting vents to maintain a specific temp. Starting the fire then waiting while it heated. Cleaning out the dust was messy, if she made even that look easy. She had talent, though by the time I knew her she had nearly 20 years of (albeit just summer) practice with the contraption. A family uses 8 to 12 cords of wood a year (in the northern climbs). A cord, in Utah, if I saw correctly, goes for around $125, plus delivery. Or, a permit to collect is $7.50 a cord with a minimum of 4 cords per permit. That, of course, would require the tools to take lumber and the capacity to haul it. Ugh, never ending. There is another downside. You always smell like a smoker. Maybe things have improved, but I am doubting it. My first year up there I still smoked, yes, only a 7th grader, hushit. I could always find cigarettes, just... followed my nose and kept my eyes open, if pilfering was needed. Up there they never could tell I had been smoking.
I don't know, just something on my mind. Actually, if I was to do that, I would also consider a smaller but regular wood heater in the living room. I still haven't investigated the old fireplace here. Even if it isn't up to specs, it would probably still do just fine with an insert. An insert would be a lot more fuel efficient, too. The thing is, until I decide I can even afford to break into the drywall to check about the fireplace, I can't know if an insert will work. It depends on which way the fireplace opening is facing. The thing is, with all that, we are talking about $6k to $10k, just in purchase price. Taxes, delivery, installation, alterations... extra. Yeah. But it is on the backburner for when I win the lottery! Maybe I ought to start playing? Ha, one of the other good things about Utah? No lottery. It's an honest state. (And, no, I would not play the lotto even if it were here, nor should you. Even if you aren't into the whole morality thing, perhaps you should be into the whole math and economic thing? Doh!)
Some things to consider when considering updating my kitchen. Going forward is not always going... well... forward. You can keep your stainless appliances. You can keep your electric. You can keep dainty materials that won't hold up to an ogre chef. But that doesn't mean it will be cheap, either. Trading in flash for good quality means solid materials and workmanship, things that are more at a premium than ever.
Oh, sounds like my outside wood/coal oven and water pasteurizer are here. The delivery company called and asked for my physical address. That disappoints me a bit. The problem ordering, as I came to figure out, was that the address section would not take both of my addresses for my credit card to work. At first, when doing it, it looked like both were required, but only one was really needed. Taking a break from it allowed me to see the missing detail when I returned to try again. So, I took off my physical address. I noticed they had a place for "extra instructions". So, I wrote a brief simple note indicating that, should they not be using USPS (should I have spelled it out?), that they send it to my physical address, which I supplied. Well, no real bother unless I hadn't happened to be awake to receive the call. Remember now, for most of my twenty years of illness, when I happened to be awake, I was almost exclusively awake in the afternoons or even more so at night. Bah!
Hmm, come to think of it, that is quite a change. As recently as two years ago, I was almost always only awake at night. I still sometimes go through that, but it isn't the usual. Just... noticing things I guess. Oh, on the good side with the wood stove consideration... Since I am planning to upgrade the kitchen, I could add in special insulation so that I could have the stove more flush with the walls. Hmm, I keep thinking on it all.
Later.
Fear, you have no fear?
.
.
When I hear this I have to laugh. I hear people say that you shouldn't have it, that you are a pussy if you do. Bunk. I fear, deeply, right to my soul. At least in the secular aspects of life. Yes, I fear you. In the ways of war, fear is very good. The only thing slightly better is the ability to overcome and act right through that fear. Fear is a potent gift, only bested by terror, horror, and shame. With these for fuel, you may begin your path of the warrior. Any method that does not include inculcating these things, or worse trying to force one to outright deny these things, are failed methods. More poetry than truth. Probably written by old men who have wet themselves and decided war is for other men. Fear, along with duty, strength of will, and a willingness to live right in hell to get it done, these are the ways. Then again, even the fighting class in America has had such a good life that they don't understand. You can be fearless if death is never a strong possibility. I haven't had that luxury, and gladly.
Even so, I have become an old man, as warriors go. I would rather not fight, though that was always true. I just will not lead the young astray with stories of glory and brotherhood and all that rot. You are as alone in the hell of war as you would be in hell itself. You best know that. All the things you stand for are fiction when you face death. You do it for yourself. Your brothers in arms only get you over that first hump, that first bit of weakness that might show. After that, it's your gig, solo, singular. Don't think there is any glory to it. I think it is more like pride. If you make it out of serious shit, and lots of it, over a long time, you won't think you are special. You will be. But special ain't pretty. And it ain't what you think it is. You will most likely be a feral beast inside. You will have to learn to negotiate with that, and you probably won't always win (or even get a say, until you begin figuring a few things out). Drink a pint of blood and come back to me. If you do this, you will be on your way. One step on a thousand mile journey, a journey you probably won't survive, one way or the other.
Ah, but good hunting. Especially you fearless types. *grins*
.
When I hear this I have to laugh. I hear people say that you shouldn't have it, that you are a pussy if you do. Bunk. I fear, deeply, right to my soul. At least in the secular aspects of life. Yes, I fear you. In the ways of war, fear is very good. The only thing slightly better is the ability to overcome and act right through that fear. Fear is a potent gift, only bested by terror, horror, and shame. With these for fuel, you may begin your path of the warrior. Any method that does not include inculcating these things, or worse trying to force one to outright deny these things, are failed methods. More poetry than truth. Probably written by old men who have wet themselves and decided war is for other men. Fear, along with duty, strength of will, and a willingness to live right in hell to get it done, these are the ways. Then again, even the fighting class in America has had such a good life that they don't understand. You can be fearless if death is never a strong possibility. I haven't had that luxury, and gladly.
Even so, I have become an old man, as warriors go. I would rather not fight, though that was always true. I just will not lead the young astray with stories of glory and brotherhood and all that rot. You are as alone in the hell of war as you would be in hell itself. You best know that. All the things you stand for are fiction when you face death. You do it for yourself. Your brothers in arms only get you over that first hump, that first bit of weakness that might show. After that, it's your gig, solo, singular. Don't think there is any glory to it. I think it is more like pride. If you make it out of serious shit, and lots of it, over a long time, you won't think you are special. You will be. But special ain't pretty. And it ain't what you think it is. You will most likely be a feral beast inside. You will have to learn to negotiate with that, and you probably won't always win (or even get a say, until you begin figuring a few things out). Drink a pint of blood and come back to me. If you do this, you will be on your way. One step on a thousand mile journey, a journey you probably won't survive, one way or the other.
Ah, but good hunting. Especially you fearless types. *grins*
Cats, the feeding and care thereof.
.
.
I am never quite sure when it comes to anything, myself any more than animals. I do try to find the best information. It is out there, sitting in piles of incomplete, obsolete, and incorrect information. I am not sure the internet is any more helpful than common sense, and it can be less helpful even harmful. Adding to that, how would you ever know? You can't go back in time and do it over, another cat or human is different. Perhaps what seemed to help really didn't and it would have been better to have done nothing, the exact opposite, or something else.
In any case, my deal is with Sassy, and to a degree Sam. Sassy isn't stroke ready fat, but she has a few extra ounces, to be sure. Further, with food on tap, and often the ability to whine me into feeding her a can of wet stuff (or cause that just by being cute), she has little incentive to go and hunt, be more active, and such. She has become my little commucat. To create change, I am not feeding her the wet stuff nearly as often. And I don't tolerate bad behavior for it, out the door she will go if she acts like a spoiled rugrat. A can a day, and two half cans (I feed the other half to Sam). I am keeping the dry food readily available, but she doesn't overeat that. To my chagrin, she is merely being less active, rather than going outside. Maybe she is still too young to be tinkering with her food like this? She is a little over a year old.
Sam, on the other hand, is skinny as can be. I have offered her as much food as I can. She loves both the dry and wet cat food, the wet preferred, and eats heartily. No matter how much I offer, and how much she seems to eat, she just goes out and burns it off. She is my capitacat. She uses everything she gets to gain more while keeping trim and slim. I would like to get a bit more weight on her. But barring putting her in a cage and feeding her up, probably permanently, I don't think it will work. Some sisters these two turned out to be.
Ah, but she is such a cute little beggar. If Sam wants back in, I'll feed them a half a can (then let Sam right back out so she can puke, saving it for later I guess). What was that? Oh, right. The problem with socialism is socialism. The problem with capitalism is capitalists. And, yeah, it sort of works. Even when they are cats!
.
I am never quite sure when it comes to anything, myself any more than animals. I do try to find the best information. It is out there, sitting in piles of incomplete, obsolete, and incorrect information. I am not sure the internet is any more helpful than common sense, and it can be less helpful even harmful. Adding to that, how would you ever know? You can't go back in time and do it over, another cat or human is different. Perhaps what seemed to help really didn't and it would have been better to have done nothing, the exact opposite, or something else.
In any case, my deal is with Sassy, and to a degree Sam. Sassy isn't stroke ready fat, but she has a few extra ounces, to be sure. Further, with food on tap, and often the ability to whine me into feeding her a can of wet stuff (or cause that just by being cute), she has little incentive to go and hunt, be more active, and such. She has become my little commucat. To create change, I am not feeding her the wet stuff nearly as often. And I don't tolerate bad behavior for it, out the door she will go if she acts like a spoiled rugrat. A can a day, and two half cans (I feed the other half to Sam). I am keeping the dry food readily available, but she doesn't overeat that. To my chagrin, she is merely being less active, rather than going outside. Maybe she is still too young to be tinkering with her food like this? She is a little over a year old.
Sam, on the other hand, is skinny as can be. I have offered her as much food as I can. She loves both the dry and wet cat food, the wet preferred, and eats heartily. No matter how much I offer, and how much she seems to eat, she just goes out and burns it off. She is my capitacat. She uses everything she gets to gain more while keeping trim and slim. I would like to get a bit more weight on her. But barring putting her in a cage and feeding her up, probably permanently, I don't think it will work. Some sisters these two turned out to be.
Ah, but she is such a cute little beggar. If Sam wants back in, I'll feed them a half a can (then let Sam right back out so she can puke, saving it for later I guess). What was that? Oh, right. The problem with socialism is socialism. The problem with capitalism is capitalists. And, yeah, it sort of works. Even when they are cats!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Dang it, again!
.
.
It is 11:00 and here I sit. Just haven't been able to motivate my sphincter to quit making out with my chair. Well, I'm going to. No promises, that is just the way of it. I am not sure I will make it to town, but I will get the bike prepped. I probably won't ride it though, not this late, this hot. If only I hadn't messed up on the medicine, I think I would still be gliding high and free. Sometimes being stubborn and self-reproaching is not a successful plan. Then again it isn't a plan, those are design features that may well have saved the world. Well, those and ego sometimes, maybe? Piss off. *laughs*
A bit of excitement earlier. Four horses were out on the highway that passes by my home and on through town. A semi had to stop, then honk. For whatever reason, the highway seemed like the place to be. I thought to go out and shoo them, but... I have no tack, I have no idea where they belong, and really, decided that was probably not the best plan. So I called the sheriff. I am sure they have a better plan in place than me running after four full sized horses, chasing them to... nowhere (or the reverse should they have been ornery). No, actually, I wouldn't run from a horse. No use. Just stand and prep for whatever, including a solid punch to the nose, more like it. Oh, you can punch a gnarly horse, even a bear. And, really, having the choice, I would much rather have to punch a horse. They can hurt you but they aren't predators and are rather pain adverse. I suppose bears are pain adverse as well, but by that point they wouldn't even feel a punch like a horse would. Theory, mind you, mostly.
Well, on to... the bike! Later.
.
It is 11:00 and here I sit. Just haven't been able to motivate my sphincter to quit making out with my chair. Well, I'm going to. No promises, that is just the way of it. I am not sure I will make it to town, but I will get the bike prepped. I probably won't ride it though, not this late, this hot. If only I hadn't messed up on the medicine, I think I would still be gliding high and free. Sometimes being stubborn and self-reproaching is not a successful plan. Then again it isn't a plan, those are design features that may well have saved the world. Well, those and ego sometimes, maybe? Piss off. *laughs*
A bit of excitement earlier. Four horses were out on the highway that passes by my home and on through town. A semi had to stop, then honk. For whatever reason, the highway seemed like the place to be. I thought to go out and shoo them, but... I have no tack, I have no idea where they belong, and really, decided that was probably not the best plan. So I called the sheriff. I am sure they have a better plan in place than me running after four full sized horses, chasing them to... nowhere (or the reverse should they have been ornery). No, actually, I wouldn't run from a horse. No use. Just stand and prep for whatever, including a solid punch to the nose, more like it. Oh, you can punch a gnarly horse, even a bear. And, really, having the choice, I would much rather have to punch a horse. They can hurt you but they aren't predators and are rather pain adverse. I suppose bears are pain adverse as well, but by that point they wouldn't even feel a punch like a horse would. Theory, mind you, mostly.
Well, on to... the bike! Later.
The bike.
.
.
I do believe I will get to finishing the bike this morning. None of the tasks remaining are complicated in any way. I don't even believe drilling will be needed as the bike has holes, mostly plugged for now, for any brackets. Other devices simply attach to the handlebars or seat and seat post. If it goes quickly enough, perhaps a test ride in a bit. Not too early. There is a great deal of morning traffic, people going to work, some getting off work. Then again, I'll be staying in town initially. I will get some pictures of the bike when finished, just in case it ends up mashed somehow, on the maiden voyage. Oh trust me, it could happen. I lead a charmed life.
I signed up for a class to attempt to get my conceal carry permit. It will be $35 for the class and then about $70 for state fees. I believe I will take the paperwork in, in person, and pay with cash, the next time I visit the V.A. I have an appointment coming up in a week or so. Hmm, I think I forgot to put that on my smart phone or calendar. Good thing I blog. I don't know if that department is still slow, but I had heard that paying there, in cash, sped things up. That is coming up in days!
If I do get that, I will probably begin looking around and making final plans for a small .357 mag, I'm thinking that Chief's Special, by
S&W will do nicely. But I would like to shoot it and some others, read a bit more, you know... enjoy the process. After that probably a hunting rifle (unless that Kel Tec shotgun comes available and is reasonable to actually obtain). Shotgun before rifle, then a rifle (or two). And, finally, in the more distant future, the goal would be a S&W 500 or 460. I'm still... considering. The 500 is more immediate power, the .460 takes .45 long colt, .454 cassull, as well as the .460, none a bad round (if not truly great, either, save for the .460 as an actual hunting round to a hundred yards, give or take, maybe more with scope, though if more with scope I would be okay out to 150, maybe 200 I think, stock). Then again, since I own a reloader, I could power that 500 right about down to a .45 long colt round (if I really wanted to). The only thing is the cases for the 500 would be the same no matter how I loaded it. Then again, even a .45 long colt case (for loading the bullet, powder, and primer into or in) is pretty darn scary expensive. Though you don't shoot these things like .22's either. Bah...
While the foot felt a lot better with the "donut" off the bottom, I still felt I needed something. While what was left was not exactly an open bleeding wound, it was down to the meat and open. So I put on one of my larger area band-aids, after adding some triple antibiotic cream. Yeah, that felt much better. I am not going to hike on it until it looks much better. I am going into town and will look at inserts too. Something to pad that front food pad for the most part, but fits the rest of my foot well enough. More on the left side, but it used to be both foot pads.
Oh, when I discuss "preppers" doing bogus things, I discuss things like rope bracelets. That is a good way to cut up good 'twine' (550 para cord). While it could be useful if you were dropped literally in the middle of wilderness, that isn't going to happen and it's real usefulness would be extremely limited. You had best also know to and be prepared to drink your own urine. Just saying. I see dozens of guys who have spent an inordinate amount of time making these things, and things like them. Sure, if prepping is trendy and you wish to prove something, go for it. But don't think I will think you are a survivor because you are wearing seven to ten feet of cord! Even making fast rope has limited use. If in a static place, near say a cliff, it might have some real use for escape or even weather specific lodging changes, faster routs, or such. But the sun will eat nylon cord. You did know that, right? And only 36 meters? No, come now. That is a serious waste of resources in time, money, and thought processes. This is what I am talking about when guys are blowing smoke, wasting resources, and such. If you want a good way to carry cord, simply always have a pack with you and do this to your cord. Hmm, then again, rather than heavy duty fast rope, imagine using eight 100 foot lines of 550 para like this (I suppose you would lose 1/4 to half to the length in the process, but might be a good rope?)? It also continues on to show how to splice a loop and whip-stitch the end in following videos. Hmm. Damn, I like that.
Well, that's about it. I should get on with the bike, then on into town. Hmm, brisket, I think, for lunch. Yeah, I like that stuff. Last time it was way too dry though. Then again, last time their place was flooded so they were doing the best they could, continuing to work outside. So, yeah, I will give them a bit of a pass. But they should have it down by now. Hrumph.
.
I do believe I will get to finishing the bike this morning. None of the tasks remaining are complicated in any way. I don't even believe drilling will be needed as the bike has holes, mostly plugged for now, for any brackets. Other devices simply attach to the handlebars or seat and seat post. If it goes quickly enough, perhaps a test ride in a bit. Not too early. There is a great deal of morning traffic, people going to work, some getting off work. Then again, I'll be staying in town initially. I will get some pictures of the bike when finished, just in case it ends up mashed somehow, on the maiden voyage. Oh trust me, it could happen. I lead a charmed life.
I signed up for a class to attempt to get my conceal carry permit. It will be $35 for the class and then about $70 for state fees. I believe I will take the paperwork in, in person, and pay with cash, the next time I visit the V.A. I have an appointment coming up in a week or so. Hmm, I think I forgot to put that on my smart phone or calendar. Good thing I blog. I don't know if that department is still slow, but I had heard that paying there, in cash, sped things up. That is coming up in days!
If I do get that, I will probably begin looking around and making final plans for a small .357 mag, I'm thinking that Chief's Special, by
S&W will do nicely. But I would like to shoot it and some others, read a bit more, you know... enjoy the process. After that probably a hunting rifle (unless that Kel Tec shotgun comes available and is reasonable to actually obtain). Shotgun before rifle, then a rifle (or two). And, finally, in the more distant future, the goal would be a S&W 500 or 460. I'm still... considering. The 500 is more immediate power, the .460 takes .45 long colt, .454 cassull, as well as the .460, none a bad round (if not truly great, either, save for the .460 as an actual hunting round to a hundred yards, give or take, maybe more with scope, though if more with scope I would be okay out to 150, maybe 200 I think, stock). Then again, since I own a reloader, I could power that 500 right about down to a .45 long colt round (if I really wanted to). The only thing is the cases for the 500 would be the same no matter how I loaded it. Then again, even a .45 long colt case (for loading the bullet, powder, and primer into or in) is pretty darn scary expensive. Though you don't shoot these things like .22's either. Bah...
While the foot felt a lot better with the "donut" off the bottom, I still felt I needed something. While what was left was not exactly an open bleeding wound, it was down to the meat and open. So I put on one of my larger area band-aids, after adding some triple antibiotic cream. Yeah, that felt much better. I am not going to hike on it until it looks much better. I am going into town and will look at inserts too. Something to pad that front food pad for the most part, but fits the rest of my foot well enough. More on the left side, but it used to be both foot pads.
Oh, when I discuss "preppers" doing bogus things, I discuss things like rope bracelets. That is a good way to cut up good 'twine' (550 para cord). While it could be useful if you were dropped literally in the middle of wilderness, that isn't going to happen and it's real usefulness would be extremely limited. You had best also know to and be prepared to drink your own urine. Just saying. I see dozens of guys who have spent an inordinate amount of time making these things, and things like them. Sure, if prepping is trendy and you wish to prove something, go for it. But don't think I will think you are a survivor because you are wearing seven to ten feet of cord! Even making fast rope has limited use. If in a static place, near say a cliff, it might have some real use for escape or even weather specific lodging changes, faster routs, or such. But the sun will eat nylon cord. You did know that, right? And only 36 meters? No, come now. That is a serious waste of resources in time, money, and thought processes. This is what I am talking about when guys are blowing smoke, wasting resources, and such. If you want a good way to carry cord, simply always have a pack with you and do this to your cord. Hmm, then again, rather than heavy duty fast rope, imagine using eight 100 foot lines of 550 para like this (I suppose you would lose 1/4 to half to the length in the process, but might be a good rope?)? It also continues on to show how to splice a loop and whip-stitch the end in following videos. Hmm. Damn, I like that.
Well, that's about it. I should get on with the bike, then on into town. Hmm, brisket, I think, for lunch. Yeah, I like that stuff. Last time it was way too dry though. Then again, last time their place was flooded so they were doing the best they could, continuing to work outside. So, yeah, I will give them a bit of a pass. But they should have it down by now. Hrumph.
Waking in the middle of the night.
.
.
I have some hope of getting back to sleep before long. I have more serious doubts though. But what can you really do at midnight? Well, there are the dishes. There is laundry. I didn't get the trash out, but at only a bag a week it isn't a huge issue. Missing trash once in a while, if kept to that, is just fine. No more, as summer heat is a gnarly thing when mixed with all but paper refuse. Still, I'm... thinking.
Doh but I hate dishes. After I get this set cleaned, I may simply go in search of the best disposable dishes and flatware I can afford. Yes, yes, wasteful. I don't care about the excessive waste. At the worst of projections, waste is not a problem over at least the next hundred (thousand if we must be honest) years. And if they haven't figured out to burn it in high efficiency burners by then, let them roll in the refuse (which, all told, in a hundred years, is a very small landmass usage, even if not burned as it should be, if you believe in green, which I don't). Bah! Buggers! And broomstick wielding Dolts!
Grumpy? Yeah, maybe a wee. I must have killed half the world of warriors in my dreams. No matter how strong of a blood lust one has, sating it is never satisfying. I suppose that is why I made changes and no longer seek to fill that hunger. Oh, it's there. It craves 'just a little' though that little would only spur me on to much more. I have finally figured out how to put it in it's place and redirect the urges. If I have something that cripples me, in the mental department, it would be that when I cannot redirect blood lust purposefully I redirect the lust in a paralyzing manner. Better to be frozen stone than to be lively and deadly? Yeah, maybe. I have neither the authority nor heart for what I am good at. Perhaps I never had the heart. I certainly had the way and means otherwise. I simply had no choices, at one time. I have the scars to prove it.
Bah! Still, I do enjoy life. Women or war, friend or family, little and big, good and even bad so I know the difference. This has been an immeasurably huge experience, a wonderful one. I wouldn't have missed it. Even shame, once a bane, now a gift of consciousness I can raise as a gift to the Father, and thank Him both for being able to know shame meaning I know rightness and for His taking it from my wound like some salves extracts poison. I am finally riding that bicycle called life in a balanced manner, if I can still be lead to Grumpville when old wounds are remembered vividly.
On to... something. Never mind me. Just... The flames...
.
I have some hope of getting back to sleep before long. I have more serious doubts though. But what can you really do at midnight? Well, there are the dishes. There is laundry. I didn't get the trash out, but at only a bag a week it isn't a huge issue. Missing trash once in a while, if kept to that, is just fine. No more, as summer heat is a gnarly thing when mixed with all but paper refuse. Still, I'm... thinking.
Doh but I hate dishes. After I get this set cleaned, I may simply go in search of the best disposable dishes and flatware I can afford. Yes, yes, wasteful. I don't care about the excessive waste. At the worst of projections, waste is not a problem over at least the next hundred (thousand if we must be honest) years. And if they haven't figured out to burn it in high efficiency burners by then, let them roll in the refuse (which, all told, in a hundred years, is a very small landmass usage, even if not burned as it should be, if you believe in green, which I don't). Bah! Buggers! And broomstick wielding Dolts!
Grumpy? Yeah, maybe a wee. I must have killed half the world of warriors in my dreams. No matter how strong of a blood lust one has, sating it is never satisfying. I suppose that is why I made changes and no longer seek to fill that hunger. Oh, it's there. It craves 'just a little' though that little would only spur me on to much more. I have finally figured out how to put it in it's place and redirect the urges. If I have something that cripples me, in the mental department, it would be that when I cannot redirect blood lust purposefully I redirect the lust in a paralyzing manner. Better to be frozen stone than to be lively and deadly? Yeah, maybe. I have neither the authority nor heart for what I am good at. Perhaps I never had the heart. I certainly had the way and means otherwise. I simply had no choices, at one time. I have the scars to prove it.
Bah! Still, I do enjoy life. Women or war, friend or family, little and big, good and even bad so I know the difference. This has been an immeasurably huge experience, a wonderful one. I wouldn't have missed it. Even shame, once a bane, now a gift of consciousness I can raise as a gift to the Father, and thank Him both for being able to know shame meaning I know rightness and for His taking it from my wound like some salves extracts poison. I am finally riding that bicycle called life in a balanced manner, if I can still be lead to Grumpville when old wounds are remembered vividly.
On to... something. Never mind me. Just... The flames...
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Busy, busy, busy.
.
.
I made it just in time to have breakfast before going in to podiatry. I got right in, then as is the case, waited a goodly bit (though I really can't and am not complaining), and was seen. The young woman, too young I thought, seemed to be my doc. At first I took her for a nurse. She didn't talk about med school, though I didn't ask, but she said she had completed three years of pediatric school and this was her fourth and final year, on rotation. So I am guessing she is a specialist, having obtained her medical degree first. She was very young looking. She was enjoyable to chat with though, and seemed to take care of my foot quickly and well enough. Not an ageist, mostly, in any case. Not even really a racist, except that I expect to not have to deal with reverse racism and poor quality. I won't tolerate it at all. She offered me some callus donuts, to place over the areas. Though if I want to use them regularly, I would have to buy them in bulk, as a shower pretty much kills them. I'm not sure how much they cost, but that's probably... prohibitive? I'll check before crashing.
After finishing that, I drove to dental to set up an appointment. I knew they would want me to, honestly. I am one of only 10% of all veterans who they can offer full service. I am not sure, precisely, what that means. But they seem impressed by it and please with it, or something. Well, and they like doing the business that they do. They wanted to do it the day my mother arrives. I wasn't so sure about that, then I thought about it. They want to do it in the morning, at 8:00. My mother won't be in until the afternoon (I know, I will be buying the tickets shortly, actually noon would be good). Perfect, clean teeth, as bright a smile as I get, a haircut a few days before she arrives, another 15 pounds off from the last time she saw me, all good. I don't have to worry about them doing anything too serious, either. Being my first time, this will just be an exam and maybe a cleaning. If there is a need for cavities to be filled, or anything else, they will schedule another appointment.
Further still, on the way home, I finally remembered to buy Loktite blue, a couple of bottles of water (just to compare against my tap water, as to D.C.'s suggestion), and an over-glasses pair of sunglasses so that riding and hiking might be a bit easier. Oh, I also remembered to visit my bank. My debit card is out of date and I had not received a new one. They did say they had sent one, but I didn't get it and it wasn't returned. They canceled that one and are reissuing one. Temporarily inconvenient but no big deal.
So much done. Honestly, I am pleased. Sure, I didn't put the tech bling on my bike, and I am not quite in the state of mind to push things in any case, and attempt to go riding. It will happen soon enough. For now, for water, I will simply take my CamelBak. It has plenty of space and I enjoy the drinking tube, which I afix through whatever I am wearing so as to be right near my face. I think a little nap might do me good. Then, this afternoon or evening, getting the bike set up will be the thing.
You know, not bad. Many of these things were not in the plans. They were just on my mind. I was able to take thoughts and proactively function on them. I kept them on my mind in spite of have become quite tired and in spite of the discomfort of my foot, for the moment. She had to carve down pretty deeply to extract the bottom-of-the-foot callus. It is still a bit tender, though I think it will be fine in a day or two. I can ride any time, though, as there isn't enough weight on my feet pedaling, and I can adjust how my foot strikes, if need be as well.
On to checking on those callus donuts and then a nap. Be well.
Hmm, scrap the pads, at least for the bottom of my foot. They aren't too expensive though, not prohibitively expensive. At $18 a month, if they work on the callus on the side of my left big toe, I would consider them. I just took the one off the bottom of my foot. Oh, Lord, though doth favor me sometimes. So much better with the callus gone AND the pad gone. I may still wear one, while awake, for the next few days until that all heals up. But I don't think I could bear to wear them beyond that. I'll... think about the big toe. Bah! G'night, g'day, good riddance! Bah! :p
.
I made it just in time to have breakfast before going in to podiatry. I got right in, then as is the case, waited a goodly bit (though I really can't and am not complaining), and was seen. The young woman, too young I thought, seemed to be my doc. At first I took her for a nurse. She didn't talk about med school, though I didn't ask, but she said she had completed three years of pediatric school and this was her fourth and final year, on rotation. So I am guessing she is a specialist, having obtained her medical degree first. She was very young looking. She was enjoyable to chat with though, and seemed to take care of my foot quickly and well enough. Not an ageist, mostly, in any case. Not even really a racist, except that I expect to not have to deal with reverse racism and poor quality. I won't tolerate it at all. She offered me some callus donuts, to place over the areas. Though if I want to use them regularly, I would have to buy them in bulk, as a shower pretty much kills them. I'm not sure how much they cost, but that's probably... prohibitive? I'll check before crashing.
After finishing that, I drove to dental to set up an appointment. I knew they would want me to, honestly. I am one of only 10% of all veterans who they can offer full service. I am not sure, precisely, what that means. But they seem impressed by it and please with it, or something. Well, and they like doing the business that they do. They wanted to do it the day my mother arrives. I wasn't so sure about that, then I thought about it. They want to do it in the morning, at 8:00. My mother won't be in until the afternoon (I know, I will be buying the tickets shortly, actually noon would be good). Perfect, clean teeth, as bright a smile as I get, a haircut a few days before she arrives, another 15 pounds off from the last time she saw me, all good. I don't have to worry about them doing anything too serious, either. Being my first time, this will just be an exam and maybe a cleaning. If there is a need for cavities to be filled, or anything else, they will schedule another appointment.
Further still, on the way home, I finally remembered to buy Loktite blue, a couple of bottles of water (just to compare against my tap water, as to D.C.'s suggestion), and an over-glasses pair of sunglasses so that riding and hiking might be a bit easier. Oh, I also remembered to visit my bank. My debit card is out of date and I had not received a new one. They did say they had sent one, but I didn't get it and it wasn't returned. They canceled that one and are reissuing one. Temporarily inconvenient but no big deal.
So much done. Honestly, I am pleased. Sure, I didn't put the tech bling on my bike, and I am not quite in the state of mind to push things in any case, and attempt to go riding. It will happen soon enough. For now, for water, I will simply take my CamelBak. It has plenty of space and I enjoy the drinking tube, which I afix through whatever I am wearing so as to be right near my face. I think a little nap might do me good. Then, this afternoon or evening, getting the bike set up will be the thing.
You know, not bad. Many of these things were not in the plans. They were just on my mind. I was able to take thoughts and proactively function on them. I kept them on my mind in spite of have become quite tired and in spite of the discomfort of my foot, for the moment. She had to carve down pretty deeply to extract the bottom-of-the-foot callus. It is still a bit tender, though I think it will be fine in a day or two. I can ride any time, though, as there isn't enough weight on my feet pedaling, and I can adjust how my foot strikes, if need be as well.
On to checking on those callus donuts and then a nap. Be well.
Hmm, scrap the pads, at least for the bottom of my foot. They aren't too expensive though, not prohibitively expensive. At $18 a month, if they work on the callus on the side of my left big toe, I would consider them. I just took the one off the bottom of my foot. Oh, Lord, though doth favor me sometimes. So much better with the callus gone AND the pad gone. I may still wear one, while awake, for the next few days until that all heals up. But I don't think I could bear to wear them beyond that. I'll... think about the big toe. Bah! G'night, g'day, good riddance! Bah! :p
About to get ready.
.
.
I am definitely hoping they will fix my foot today. I would hate to have to go back in but will do so, an happily for it anyway. That thing is a pain to work with. I don't let it slow me down and it hurts a great deal for it. My mother suggests that she has to go in every three to six months for her foot growths. I am hoping I won't need it that often. I will be watching them, seeing what tools they use, how they proceed, any precautions they take. DIY isn't for fearful. Perhaps, though, it is out of my skill level. Still, I would like to watch them at least once, but perhaps several times, and see if using the right tools I might diy this. What was that, intelligence is knowing and wisdom is knowing better, and prayers help discern? Yeah, but it would be nice to not need an appointment to stop severe pain.
I have started working on adding labels to my posts. I made it through 25, then nearly 50, then decided to look at how many posts I had. Surely hundreds. Nope, I have been whining and fantasizing through 1966 (67 now) posts. I have... a little project ahead of me. I do hope to look through them. Perhaps I will see something interesting? Sure, lots of whining:) Well, maybe some progress. Maybe I will get a firmer look at the improvements. I have improved, even before medication (if too only before edema set in).
Yea, I think heading out extra early and getting some food in me before my appointment, and some coffee, would be a kindness. No blood work today so I don't have to fast. That is nice for a change. Medicine, another shower, grooming, driving, and all the rest. It is a cool day, so it should be even better. I really don't mind these trips, now that I am doing better. But they do eat up some serious time. Then again, for the moment, it is time that would most likely otherwise simply be wasted. I just can't get going quite yet. It's coming though, just not right now.
I didn't get to the bike. Ah well, not a surprise if a minor disappointment. I have been trying to place an order for the rocket stove and water pasteurizer, but there seems to be some kind of a problem. I'll try one more time before I head into the shower. If I have problems, sometimes taking a break (six hours in this case, to several days) often yields success somehow. Well, I best get that tried so I can head out.
Good day.
Aha! I finally got the order to go through. Just a minor misreading of what was required regarding their information fields. Fixed, ordered, and just received confirmation with intent to deliver. One less thing on my mind. Oh, if you are curious, the rocket stove, and the the water pasteurizer.
.
I am definitely hoping they will fix my foot today. I would hate to have to go back in but will do so, an happily for it anyway. That thing is a pain to work with. I don't let it slow me down and it hurts a great deal for it. My mother suggests that she has to go in every three to six months for her foot growths. I am hoping I won't need it that often. I will be watching them, seeing what tools they use, how they proceed, any precautions they take. DIY isn't for fearful. Perhaps, though, it is out of my skill level. Still, I would like to watch them at least once, but perhaps several times, and see if using the right tools I might diy this. What was that, intelligence is knowing and wisdom is knowing better, and prayers help discern? Yeah, but it would be nice to not need an appointment to stop severe pain.
I have started working on adding labels to my posts. I made it through 25, then nearly 50, then decided to look at how many posts I had. Surely hundreds. Nope, I have been whining and fantasizing through 1966 (67 now) posts. I have... a little project ahead of me. I do hope to look through them. Perhaps I will see something interesting? Sure, lots of whining:) Well, maybe some progress. Maybe I will get a firmer look at the improvements. I have improved, even before medication (if too only before edema set in).
Yea, I think heading out extra early and getting some food in me before my appointment, and some coffee, would be a kindness. No blood work today so I don't have to fast. That is nice for a change. Medicine, another shower, grooming, driving, and all the rest. It is a cool day, so it should be even better. I really don't mind these trips, now that I am doing better. But they do eat up some serious time. Then again, for the moment, it is time that would most likely otherwise simply be wasted. I just can't get going quite yet. It's coming though, just not right now.
I didn't get to the bike. Ah well, not a surprise if a minor disappointment. I have been trying to place an order for the rocket stove and water pasteurizer, but there seems to be some kind of a problem. I'll try one more time before I head into the shower. If I have problems, sometimes taking a break (six hours in this case, to several days) often yields success somehow. Well, I best get that tried so I can head out.
Good day.
Aha! I finally got the order to go through. Just a minor misreading of what was required regarding their information fields. Fixed, ordered, and just received confirmation with intent to deliver. One less thing on my mind. Oh, if you are curious, the rocket stove, and the the water pasteurizer.
Yeah, did it, sort of.
.
.
I rearranged my meds and am back on "today". Nothing fancy, just took some doses pretty close together and right through a marathon up-time. I've been having those lately, as the 'fix' of the medicines sets in. Which is fine, these are more stated 'ups' than the chaos of that first healing wave. I glutted on health and action then, so I don't feel as much of a need this time. Nor am I quite as swamped in dirty clothes and don't have quite as messy of a home. Oh, to be sure, I slid in this accidental period of poor medicine taking. And I am still climbing out of it. But it isn't like I was down for four or five months, either. Just two weeks to a month.
I had almost forgotten about a hair cut I had scheduled today. I didn't put it on the calendar nor in my smart phone. Doh! I simply thought I remember making an appointment for today. I went through the cards in my wallet, and sure enough. It pretty much was when I was supposed to pick up the bike. And, being a bit slow to get going still, I found out right about the time I was going to head in. I wasn't sure I would be able to do both. As it turns out, showing up a bit early got me out in time to pick up the bike. I have made another appointment for right before my mother arrives. I want her to see it as it is supposed to be.
As I said, I made it in time to pick up my bike. They had the guy on a register, so he just had a women take me to pick it up. I see the problem with the handlebars, but I think it came that way. I think. In any case, the thing is prepped and ready. I would love to take it for a spin, but having just awaken and it being dark, and having not ridden save once in the last 30 to 35 years, I don't think night is the time to start (still might). Hmm, of course I could begin adding my gear, lock, and kit to the thing. I've been looking over panniers, trailers, and hitch carriers for bikes too. Those might be a bit off. Some of them aren't terribly expensive, some are though. I want to research well before plunking even $100 on junk. I would rather spend $300 if that is what is really needed. Wasted money is just that, and an additional cost to the product need. A cheap price for good gear is also worth the effort. Just don't expect cheap to be good, nor expensive, nor any price really, actually. You have to look at the gear through as clear of eyes as possible and read many reviews. Look for the complaint that looks home and compare it to the solid reviews. Work does pay off.
I could go out and arrange lights, cameras, and get ready for action. I still have a bike helmet, from when I tried to use inline skates. I still have those too, actually. Hmm, I didn't get far with those because my feet seemed to get larger after having sized and bought them. Perhaps that was water problems even then (say, I went in on a low water retention day and was usually retaining lots of water, so they wouldn't fit most of the time)? I ought to try them. I might even have the elbow and knee pads. But I would want a flat, probably concrete, skating park to start in. I would bet Logan offers something like that, maybe even purpose built. In any case, if falling off the bike is a problem, I may have that covered.
I have an appointment, tomorrow, early, in SLC. I am not sure I would be up to riding when I return. Truth be told, I am a bit frightened of the notion, now that I am on the cusp of it. What if I can't figure it out? Oh, pedaling is easy. Shifting gears, knowing what gear works best, keeping that all in line while balancing, braking, and such? As I said, I have never owned a 21-speed bike, probably not even a 3-speed. I was still germinating when I last rode! But, if the bike is kitted out for riding, the odds are better that returning in the afternoon would see me risking my neck on the two-wheeled suicide device. Ha!
.
I rearranged my meds and am back on "today". Nothing fancy, just took some doses pretty close together and right through a marathon up-time. I've been having those lately, as the 'fix' of the medicines sets in. Which is fine, these are more stated 'ups' than the chaos of that first healing wave. I glutted on health and action then, so I don't feel as much of a need this time. Nor am I quite as swamped in dirty clothes and don't have quite as messy of a home. Oh, to be sure, I slid in this accidental period of poor medicine taking. And I am still climbing out of it. But it isn't like I was down for four or five months, either. Just two weeks to a month.
I had almost forgotten about a hair cut I had scheduled today. I didn't put it on the calendar nor in my smart phone. Doh! I simply thought I remember making an appointment for today. I went through the cards in my wallet, and sure enough. It pretty much was when I was supposed to pick up the bike. And, being a bit slow to get going still, I found out right about the time I was going to head in. I wasn't sure I would be able to do both. As it turns out, showing up a bit early got me out in time to pick up the bike. I have made another appointment for right before my mother arrives. I want her to see it as it is supposed to be.
As I said, I made it in time to pick up my bike. They had the guy on a register, so he just had a women take me to pick it up. I see the problem with the handlebars, but I think it came that way. I think. In any case, the thing is prepped and ready. I would love to take it for a spin, but having just awaken and it being dark, and having not ridden save once in the last 30 to 35 years, I don't think night is the time to start (still might). Hmm, of course I could begin adding my gear, lock, and kit to the thing. I've been looking over panniers, trailers, and hitch carriers for bikes too. Those might be a bit off. Some of them aren't terribly expensive, some are though. I want to research well before plunking even $100 on junk. I would rather spend $300 if that is what is really needed. Wasted money is just that, and an additional cost to the product need. A cheap price for good gear is also worth the effort. Just don't expect cheap to be good, nor expensive, nor any price really, actually. You have to look at the gear through as clear of eyes as possible and read many reviews. Look for the complaint that looks home and compare it to the solid reviews. Work does pay off.
I could go out and arrange lights, cameras, and get ready for action. I still have a bike helmet, from when I tried to use inline skates. I still have those too, actually. Hmm, I didn't get far with those because my feet seemed to get larger after having sized and bought them. Perhaps that was water problems even then (say, I went in on a low water retention day and was usually retaining lots of water, so they wouldn't fit most of the time)? I ought to try them. I might even have the elbow and knee pads. But I would want a flat, probably concrete, skating park to start in. I would bet Logan offers something like that, maybe even purpose built. In any case, if falling off the bike is a problem, I may have that covered.
I have an appointment, tomorrow, early, in SLC. I am not sure I would be up to riding when I return. Truth be told, I am a bit frightened of the notion, now that I am on the cusp of it. What if I can't figure it out? Oh, pedaling is easy. Shifting gears, knowing what gear works best, keeping that all in line while balancing, braking, and such? As I said, I have never owned a 21-speed bike, probably not even a 3-speed. I was still germinating when I last rode! But, if the bike is kitted out for riding, the odds are better that returning in the afternoon would see me risking my neck on the two-wheeled suicide device. Ha!
Monday, August 1, 2011
Uhrm, so, how do you speak?
.
.
In case you are curious yourself. I was. Click to find out for yourself.
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Yeah, I moved a great deal. Until I bought this home, I moved every three years, probably, on average. Though when growing up we moved yearly, on average.
.
In case you are curious yourself. I was. Click to find out for yourself.
| Which American accent do you have? Neutral You're not Northern, Southern, or Western, you`re just plain -American-. Your national identity is more important than your local identity, because you don`t really have a local identity. You might be from the region in that map, which is defined by this kind of accent, but you could easily not be. Or maybe you just moved around a lot growing up.  |
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Yeah, I moved a great deal. Until I bought this home, I moved every three years, probably, on average. Though when growing up we moved yearly, on average.
It is done.
.
.
The bike is done. Oh, he did have to replace the caliper. He said the spring was shot. Well, at least there was that. Now, he said the handlebars were put on wrong, but I followed the instructions, so... No, I checked. Now, maybe he meant something else, like the front tire. My problem with that was, online I saw it on several different ways and the "manual" that came with the bike didn't really show it. Hmm, coming to think of it, then the picture would be that of it on wrong though. I went by the picture in the advertisement. Well, whatever. I want to talk to him about setting up the bike for my size, and perhaps ask him about changing some ratios. I doubt if I would do that, as the bike isn't rated for serious mountain biking (frame maybe, but not the various parts). I am just curious if he knows about that. I will be in this afternoon to talk with him.
I have been seeking both a bike trailer, a bike rack for my auto so that I can drive to dedicated bike paths for safer pedaling, and shock absorbing seat posts should I find the hard tail a bit hard on the tail. Other things on the list are saddles, perhaps front and back. Along with, or separate from, a trailer, these types of things offer means of carrying camping or other gear. I keep thinking the world is on such a fine tightrope that financial worries are escalating real risks to the way of the world as we know things. I just want some things set up. To that end, if I check my account and find at least my V.A. check in, I will order that cook stove and water pasteurizer today.
Yeah, grab your socks and be prepared for sudden changes. Whether the agreement goes through or not, I am thinking we might as well default, literally (thought that would never be allowed to actually happen). A downgrade is more serious than a default and this agreement being brokered looks to not only force a downgrade because of it's anemic nature but also because it locks in the financial measures for too long of a period. Beyond, the cuts that would be automatic go against the military (which has nearly be halved since 1990) and the servicers (not the recipients) of Medicare. All very bad things. Yeah, it could get bad, fast.
.
The bike is done. Oh, he did have to replace the caliper. He said the spring was shot. Well, at least there was that. Now, he said the handlebars were put on wrong, but I followed the instructions, so... No, I checked. Now, maybe he meant something else, like the front tire. My problem with that was, online I saw it on several different ways and the "manual" that came with the bike didn't really show it. Hmm, coming to think of it, then the picture would be that of it on wrong though. I went by the picture in the advertisement. Well, whatever. I want to talk to him about setting up the bike for my size, and perhaps ask him about changing some ratios. I doubt if I would do that, as the bike isn't rated for serious mountain biking (frame maybe, but not the various parts). I am just curious if he knows about that. I will be in this afternoon to talk with him.
I have been seeking both a bike trailer, a bike rack for my auto so that I can drive to dedicated bike paths for safer pedaling, and shock absorbing seat posts should I find the hard tail a bit hard on the tail. Other things on the list are saddles, perhaps front and back. Along with, or separate from, a trailer, these types of things offer means of carrying camping or other gear. I keep thinking the world is on such a fine tightrope that financial worries are escalating real risks to the way of the world as we know things. I just want some things set up. To that end, if I check my account and find at least my V.A. check in, I will order that cook stove and water pasteurizer today.
Yeah, grab your socks and be prepared for sudden changes. Whether the agreement goes through or not, I am thinking we might as well default, literally (thought that would never be allowed to actually happen). A downgrade is more serious than a default and this agreement being brokered looks to not only force a downgrade because of it's anemic nature but also because it locks in the financial measures for too long of a period. Beyond, the cuts that would be automatic go against the military (which has nearly be halved since 1990) and the servicers (not the recipients) of Medicare. All very bad things. Yeah, it could get bad, fast.
Dang it!
.
.
Somehow I have lost a day in there somewhere. I think, as I begin to slowly get back on my feet (or so I am suspecting, and yeah, it is slow), my days have become longer to the point that within a week of starting medicine I have lost a day. No wonder I go half insane trying to figure out the world. Ah well, it'll work itself out again, I suspect, once everything ramps up and I get a grip on it again. I have no idea how long it will take. If I remember correctly, it took at least two weeks to ramp up that first time AFTER I got my stats in order. So, reasonably, two weeks from today is when I can roughly expect more than odd occasional function.
I am going to call about my bike today. They have had it for quite a number of days and I have heard nothing from them. I know I left my name and number, they required it while taking the bike. Now I might have expected it to take a day or two to get to, but once gotten too I didn't think it would take even a day to fix. Unless, of course, they really did have to replace some parts. That front caliper might well and truly have been shot from the factory. It was that way when I started though, so I will not consider taking responsibility or buying new parts. I will merely return it if they try that hustle. I will know more soon, as I will call in an hour or two.
It is raining, heavily today. I would call the various periods of rain true deluges. Sam was out in one of them, and even in her little hidden place, up on a outside window well which is off the ground a good 4', well back under an otherwise open 6' porch roof, she was hollering about getting wet and came running to get in. Sure enough, she was soaked. A quick toweling left her unhappy about being jostled but somewhat satisfied to be dryer. Crazy kids, but that's why we do what we do, right over what they want and finally to their greater satisfaction.
Well, on with something. Have a good day. If someone is giving you problems, kick em' in the teeth and say that was for me. I'm sort of in the mood for whack. Yeah, yeah, go on.
.
Somehow I have lost a day in there somewhere. I think, as I begin to slowly get back on my feet (or so I am suspecting, and yeah, it is slow), my days have become longer to the point that within a week of starting medicine I have lost a day. No wonder I go half insane trying to figure out the world. Ah well, it'll work itself out again, I suspect, once everything ramps up and I get a grip on it again. I have no idea how long it will take. If I remember correctly, it took at least two weeks to ramp up that first time AFTER I got my stats in order. So, reasonably, two weeks from today is when I can roughly expect more than odd occasional function.
I am going to call about my bike today. They have had it for quite a number of days and I have heard nothing from them. I know I left my name and number, they required it while taking the bike. Now I might have expected it to take a day or two to get to, but once gotten too I didn't think it would take even a day to fix. Unless, of course, they really did have to replace some parts. That front caliper might well and truly have been shot from the factory. It was that way when I started though, so I will not consider taking responsibility or buying new parts. I will merely return it if they try that hustle. I will know more soon, as I will call in an hour or two.
It is raining, heavily today. I would call the various periods of rain true deluges. Sam was out in one of them, and even in her little hidden place, up on a outside window well which is off the ground a good 4', well back under an otherwise open 6' porch roof, she was hollering about getting wet and came running to get in. Sure enough, she was soaked. A quick toweling left her unhappy about being jostled but somewhat satisfied to be dryer. Crazy kids, but that's why we do what we do, right over what they want and finally to their greater satisfaction.
Well, on with something. Have a good day. If someone is giving you problems, kick em' in the teeth and say that was for me. I'm sort of in the mood for whack. Yeah, yeah, go on.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Stats are finally good.
.
.
I stopped checking weight and bp for a few days. No use to do so and it was frustrating. Nothing was changing. Well, weight had come down but blood pressure was remaining way too high. After a few days off, I checked everything today, 124/88, pulse of 76, and down to 368.8. Still a bit heavy, but I was extremely thirsty yesterday and drank... a gallon and a half of milk and... well, on top of the rest of my normal drinkings. Fire on the mind, and no, it's not all about sex. Sometimes, usually, sex was only a way of attesting to the flames or proving I could stay close in spite of them. Something. This is different.
There is nothing like taking a shower, hopping out, putting on skivvies while I dry on a fine cool day while thinking back on life... ending up smelling like I hadn't showered in two or three days again. Crap sandwich, I'll have to take another shower before heading to town. At least my stats aren't all hinky. I feel the extra fluid from yesterday though. I simply had no choice, or didn't think I did. I'll pare that back, I hate having water up to my throat.
It looks like we are going to get more legislation no one knows what is in until after it is passed. It truly might be as good as it gets. That isn't saying much. It is one trillion short on cuts (as a minimum to not be downgraded), those cuts are questionable and due for revision before they are ever enacted, most of those cuts if they cannot be agreed upon will cut the military disproportionately, and there is no real chance of most of those cuts not being turned into paper fodder and written around. I guess you would call it a Hollywood ending for Democrats. And yet they still whine. They definitely represent females. Of course Republicans, mainline Republicans, represent gammas.
.
I stopped checking weight and bp for a few days. No use to do so and it was frustrating. Nothing was changing. Well, weight had come down but blood pressure was remaining way too high. After a few days off, I checked everything today, 124/88, pulse of 76, and down to 368.8. Still a bit heavy, but I was extremely thirsty yesterday and drank... a gallon and a half of milk and... well, on top of the rest of my normal drinkings. Fire on the mind, and no, it's not all about sex. Sometimes, usually, sex was only a way of attesting to the flames or proving I could stay close in spite of them. Something. This is different.
There is nothing like taking a shower, hopping out, putting on skivvies while I dry on a fine cool day while thinking back on life... ending up smelling like I hadn't showered in two or three days again. Crap sandwich, I'll have to take another shower before heading to town. At least my stats aren't all hinky. I feel the extra fluid from yesterday though. I simply had no choice, or didn't think I did. I'll pare that back, I hate having water up to my throat.
It looks like we are going to get more legislation no one knows what is in until after it is passed. It truly might be as good as it gets. That isn't saying much. It is one trillion short on cuts (as a minimum to not be downgraded), those cuts are questionable and due for revision before they are ever enacted, most of those cuts if they cannot be agreed upon will cut the military disproportionately, and there is no real chance of most of those cuts not being turned into paper fodder and written around. I guess you would call it a Hollywood ending for Democrats. And yet they still whine. They definitely represent females. Of course Republicans, mainline Republicans, represent gammas.
They aren't fighting at all.
.
.
The cats, that is. Sassy begs like a champ. I didn't necessarily know why Sam would bash her, but I now think it has to do with what Sam would do to a kitten/cat Sassy's age. She would shove her off. She would have probably done so at a much younger age, and pretty much chased her off. But food isn't as much of a priority so it isn't worth the hassle. Otherwise she would most certainly have run Sassy off, or moved off herself. Actually, with cats, I think mother often is the one who moves... if I heard that correctly. Still, Sam's natural instinct is to bat Sassy when she begs, at this age. For cats to survive they need to be quiet. And a begging kitten, who should be fending for herself, is... bothersome. For my part, I need to stop feeding the habit. It will go away. I just need to make sure she does have enough food and water and then not feed her when she begs. In other words, I am the problem. Working on it.
I worked on those knives and got them to open as they should, quick is lightening. Then I started playing with one of them, it's called The Natural, by CRKT. It's a big knife, for a folder. But I love the heft and the feel of the bone handle. Well, go look at the details. And here is the other knife I fixed. It is not a small knife either. But in my hands they seem almost small, perhaps normal. So, they fit. In any case, while tinkering with it, the hex which holds the thing tightened again. So, I will be buying Loctite blue. It should work quite well. I could use one of the more potent Loctite products, I just don't like permanently fixing something. Almost ever. I have a couple of other knives. I must be honest, I can't say these are truly reliable. They were neat, and when I just started up, I thought they would work. Then again, I honestly can't and probably wouldn't spend $250 or more for a pocket knife. I really doubt they are all that much better? Bah! I have what I have unless I strike oil in my backyard or something.
I had been worried about the ability to carry this knife, either of them, any of them. I looked it up. It seems there isn't a length limit, nor any other real laws. Not only that, Utah has set it up so that the state law (very broad rather unregulated) preempts city laws, so that cities can't try to have their own little exceptions. Some things about Utah are good. If they can break up the one remaining liberal enclave and keep it from having any power, as is fairly and rightly allowed because of the census, I would be most grateful. Give those fuckers an inch and they fuck up wet dreams. Salt Lake City needs to be stripped of power, period. Oh, you can go here (a pdf) to check on your state/city laws regarding knives.
I may head into town. I have a couple of things on my list and want to check on a few things. Later, or more likely good night.
.
The cats, that is. Sassy begs like a champ. I didn't necessarily know why Sam would bash her, but I now think it has to do with what Sam would do to a kitten/cat Sassy's age. She would shove her off. She would have probably done so at a much younger age, and pretty much chased her off. But food isn't as much of a priority so it isn't worth the hassle. Otherwise she would most certainly have run Sassy off, or moved off herself. Actually, with cats, I think mother often is the one who moves... if I heard that correctly. Still, Sam's natural instinct is to bat Sassy when she begs, at this age. For cats to survive they need to be quiet. And a begging kitten, who should be fending for herself, is... bothersome. For my part, I need to stop feeding the habit. It will go away. I just need to make sure she does have enough food and water and then not feed her when she begs. In other words, I am the problem. Working on it.
I worked on those knives and got them to open as they should, quick is lightening. Then I started playing with one of them, it's called The Natural, by CRKT. It's a big knife, for a folder. But I love the heft and the feel of the bone handle. Well, go look at the details. And here is the other knife I fixed. It is not a small knife either. But in my hands they seem almost small, perhaps normal. So, they fit. In any case, while tinkering with it, the hex which holds the thing tightened again. So, I will be buying Loctite blue. It should work quite well. I could use one of the more potent Loctite products, I just don't like permanently fixing something. Almost ever. I have a couple of other knives. I must be honest, I can't say these are truly reliable. They were neat, and when I just started up, I thought they would work. Then again, I honestly can't and probably wouldn't spend $250 or more for a pocket knife. I really doubt they are all that much better? Bah! I have what I have unless I strike oil in my backyard or something.
I had been worried about the ability to carry this knife, either of them, any of them. I looked it up. It seems there isn't a length limit, nor any other real laws. Not only that, Utah has set it up so that the state law (very broad rather unregulated) preempts city laws, so that cities can't try to have their own little exceptions. Some things about Utah are good. If they can break up the one remaining liberal enclave and keep it from having any power, as is fairly and rightly allowed because of the census, I would be most grateful. Give those fuckers an inch and they fuck up wet dreams. Salt Lake City needs to be stripped of power, period. Oh, you can go here (a pdf) to check on your state/city laws regarding knives.
I may head into town. I have a couple of things on my list and want to check on a few things. Later, or more likely good night.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
What a wonderful day.
.
.
Yeah, okay, I slept a lot and I slept very late. I am not worried about how much sleep I get, so long as it is enough, until the medicine picks me back up. I have been doing little, but at least I understand there is a real reason for it. Not that I have surrendered, if I see a window I take it. But when your body is only getting a fifth of the blood it needs, expecting normal function is purely illogical. I see myself more as a manager of function than a lazy bum. I only have minimal gear, I don't have the full suite of kit for life. I have to make due, and I do when able.
It seems clouds have rolled in. The sun is hidden. It is cooler today. I don't know if I will get to anything, but I am hoping to do some things. I need to get laundry done, and I think I will. If I could tie doing dishes with laundry I would be good. I have also set up adding Rid-X to my phone and calender, so that on a monthly basis that goes down the drain. As I get more functional I am hoping to add more tasks, cleaning tasks, to a weekly or bi-weekly alarmed schedule. I think I can get to more, but not always. I am definitely hoping that riding the bike, not initially but in time, will allow me to do even more. I need stamina. Stamina will go straight to using an unlikely strength I retain. Compare me to any man crippled as long as I have been, or even an average man, and you will find me excessively strong. I even compare to some men who work hard but don't necessarily work out, strength wise. Why? Don't ask. Dreams? Can dreams keep a warrior strong? Maybe. I still war, in my dreams. I just doesn't feel as bad as it did before therapy. And it doesn't leave me bathed in sweat and ready to kill. Therapy, that one set, did work. In spite of never having, of course, as they wish, never having been to war. Bah!
Dang but my home needs cleaned. I wish medicine would hurry up. Then again, they are trying a new medicine. Anything untested will be given a month to fit in and help. If it doesn't help, or I can't take it, of course it has to be eliminated. The spironolactone is the pill that I worry might be the problem. We will see. I just can't focus, again. And I am a bit tired. Nearly functional, getting closer, seeing small windows and taking them, but not... quite... there. Humping it up that hill, that is what is up. But to think that, even when I took the medicine detour and missed a few days on top of it, and went downhill pretty far, that I never quit? That is unheralded in my illness history. I am doing far better. I don't have to let go. I don't have to rest. Even if the results are the same, the internal mechanism is huge. I can keep my eye on the ball for my next time at bat. Life IS good.
Alrighty, time to scoot. Just wanted to... say something to all my fans. :p Loverly people, have a fine day. I am, and will continue it.
.
Yeah, okay, I slept a lot and I slept very late. I am not worried about how much sleep I get, so long as it is enough, until the medicine picks me back up. I have been doing little, but at least I understand there is a real reason for it. Not that I have surrendered, if I see a window I take it. But when your body is only getting a fifth of the blood it needs, expecting normal function is purely illogical. I see myself more as a manager of function than a lazy bum. I only have minimal gear, I don't have the full suite of kit for life. I have to make due, and I do when able.
It seems clouds have rolled in. The sun is hidden. It is cooler today. I don't know if I will get to anything, but I am hoping to do some things. I need to get laundry done, and I think I will. If I could tie doing dishes with laundry I would be good. I have also set up adding Rid-X to my phone and calender, so that on a monthly basis that goes down the drain. As I get more functional I am hoping to add more tasks, cleaning tasks, to a weekly or bi-weekly alarmed schedule. I think I can get to more, but not always. I am definitely hoping that riding the bike, not initially but in time, will allow me to do even more. I need stamina. Stamina will go straight to using an unlikely strength I retain. Compare me to any man crippled as long as I have been, or even an average man, and you will find me excessively strong. I even compare to some men who work hard but don't necessarily work out, strength wise. Why? Don't ask. Dreams? Can dreams keep a warrior strong? Maybe. I still war, in my dreams. I just doesn't feel as bad as it did before therapy. And it doesn't leave me bathed in sweat and ready to kill. Therapy, that one set, did work. In spite of never having, of course, as they wish, never having been to war. Bah!
Dang but my home needs cleaned. I wish medicine would hurry up. Then again, they are trying a new medicine. Anything untested will be given a month to fit in and help. If it doesn't help, or I can't take it, of course it has to be eliminated. The spironolactone is the pill that I worry might be the problem. We will see. I just can't focus, again. And I am a bit tired. Nearly functional, getting closer, seeing small windows and taking them, but not... quite... there. Humping it up that hill, that is what is up. But to think that, even when I took the medicine detour and missed a few days on top of it, and went downhill pretty far, that I never quit? That is unheralded in my illness history. I am doing far better. I don't have to let go. I don't have to rest. Even if the results are the same, the internal mechanism is huge. I can keep my eye on the ball for my next time at bat. Life IS good.
Alrighty, time to scoot. Just wanted to... say something to all my fans. :p Loverly people, have a fine day. I am, and will continue it.
Friday, July 29, 2011
The debt ceiling and all the rest whirling around it.
.
.
In a perfect world, where people could just go along to get along, Rep. Boehner would be a fine speaker of the house. He doesn't ask for much, he gives quite a bit, and he can negotiate in such a way as to make some progress. Of course, some progress is usually essentially no progress, it simply isn't as bad as it was going to be. I think he is actually trying to do something, he just hasn't succeeded. Given who is living in the White house and that the senate is run by traitors, it is difficult to see how he could more than negotiate a slight change though, too. I guess the question in the back of my mind is, what would he do with a pro-American senate and president? Would he honestly push forward a balanced budget amendment? Would he honestly call for cuts, real cuts, and more cuts to entitlements? My guess is he would not.
As for Democrats, they are what they are. There are variations among them, but they can be kept to hold the line. The remaining Democrats are hard-core leftists. They know many of them will not be returning. And they know their basest of bases is all they have left and their only chance of reelection, so they will cow to them absolutely. They honestly do not care about the debt limit, spending, balanced budgets, or any of that. They have to see, many of them, that their bases have crumbled, that people don't want what is happening to happen with the debt, but either through a belief that their base is all they have and it is worth appeasing, or because they simply can't see any way out of it, they continue on a path to their own electoral wipe-out. I wonder if any of that would change if we have a repeat of 2008? Actually, I doubt it. There is a reason some things become extinct, they simply do not know how to change. They can't adapt.
Of course, it would be loverly to see the two party system change from Democrats and Republicans to Republicans and Libertarians (or even a grouping of Libertarian, Constitutional, and the Tea Party). Well, one can dream. Now that I think of it, that would be really interesting. Left wouldn't mean left any more, up and down would likewise be shifted. I think only professors, career women, and minorities would even miss the Democrat party. Oh but the button collections they have would be... just as worthless. ha
I knew the debt ceiling would be raised. I believed there would be no real cuts. I believed that it would be status quo. I even suspected some or many of the Tea Party membership would be bought out. I guess I am saying, while not at all happy with any of this, was there ever really an option given the government we have? Really? Don't forget to vote. Don't vote for a McCain, a Boehner, and for God's sake do not vote for a Democrat (for ANYTHING). Damned kids, anyway.
Oh, a blog friend had a picture I decided to steal and post in order to enhance the cheer I propose. Cheers! At least it brings perspective as to any "Why?" of my last picture though too. A twofer.
.
In a perfect world, where people could just go along to get along, Rep. Boehner would be a fine speaker of the house. He doesn't ask for much, he gives quite a bit, and he can negotiate in such a way as to make some progress. Of course, some progress is usually essentially no progress, it simply isn't as bad as it was going to be. I think he is actually trying to do something, he just hasn't succeeded. Given who is living in the White house and that the senate is run by traitors, it is difficult to see how he could more than negotiate a slight change though, too. I guess the question in the back of my mind is, what would he do with a pro-American senate and president? Would he honestly push forward a balanced budget amendment? Would he honestly call for cuts, real cuts, and more cuts to entitlements? My guess is he would not.
As for Democrats, they are what they are. There are variations among them, but they can be kept to hold the line. The remaining Democrats are hard-core leftists. They know many of them will not be returning. And they know their basest of bases is all they have left and their only chance of reelection, so they will cow to them absolutely. They honestly do not care about the debt limit, spending, balanced budgets, or any of that. They have to see, many of them, that their bases have crumbled, that people don't want what is happening to happen with the debt, but either through a belief that their base is all they have and it is worth appeasing, or because they simply can't see any way out of it, they continue on a path to their own electoral wipe-out. I wonder if any of that would change if we have a repeat of 2008? Actually, I doubt it. There is a reason some things become extinct, they simply do not know how to change. They can't adapt.
Of course, it would be loverly to see the two party system change from Democrats and Republicans to Republicans and Libertarians (or even a grouping of Libertarian, Constitutional, and the Tea Party). Well, one can dream. Now that I think of it, that would be really interesting. Left wouldn't mean left any more, up and down would likewise be shifted. I think only professors, career women, and minorities would even miss the Democrat party. Oh but the button collections they have would be... just as worthless. ha
I knew the debt ceiling would be raised. I believed there would be no real cuts. I believed that it would be status quo. I even suspected some or many of the Tea Party membership would be bought out. I guess I am saying, while not at all happy with any of this, was there ever really an option given the government we have? Really? Don't forget to vote. Don't vote for a McCain, a Boehner, and for God's sake do not vote for a Democrat (for ANYTHING). Damned kids, anyway.
Oh, a blog friend had a picture I decided to steal and post in order to enhance the cheer I propose. Cheers! At least it brings perspective as to any "Why?" of my last picture though too. A twofer.
.
.
Have you ever wondered what money, big money, and the national debt look like, in real terms (both funded and unfunded, the latter of the two is rarely if every actually discussed)? Well, here is what real money and debt looks like. (Shamelessly stolen from Ace of Spades HQ, who they stole it from shamelessly is anyone's guess.)
This is a gun I really like and want. The only thing better, to my mind, would be a solidly designed (for survival) semi-automatic design. Still, I think this gun would do much better in the long term. She might not be a beautiful thing to some people's eyes, but she would be one of my pride and joys.
(Shamelessly stolen from Desert Cat, who is doing freelance advertising (and causing some of us to drool.))
I've been watching the Catholic channel a bit. They have a priest who happens to be a physicist who has his own show. It is rather interesting. At first I was quite off-put by the combination. Well, more the physicist part of it. No, I don't mind physics. My problem is with physicists. They are often so sure, so public, and so wrong. In any case, after getting over my reservations, having seen bits of his show several times, I decided to give him a bit a chance. He, as a physicist, is still a bit preachy. But what he does have to say is quite interesting. Today, he came down to a main point. Physicists, solid ones who know their stuff (as it stands today), come down in one of two schools. Either they believe in a maker, a super entity that created everything and all (whether in a relationship or not is another thing). Or they believe in infinite alternate universes (which can neither be seen, nor visited, nor really tested for in any manner) which allows for the understanding currently accepted. True? Probably. I have been sort of watching physics off and on. It seems they are spending fortunes and huge amounts of time trying to theorize and prove alternative universes and such. This is often seen in science fiction as well. In any case, it was interesting.
While watching his show, I actually gained some idea of why science went secular and on to what it is now. Without someone to be current with the sciences and in the community who can tie religion to science and make sense of things, purely dedicated scientists are so involved with their work they simply cannot make any such connection. Further, those who choose to study science have traditionally been of a libertine nature, initially only nobility, then on to the children of the extremely wealthy. At one time, they had peasants standing around to do things for them, like holding numbers or objects in large groups, so the scientist could sort of have a "computer" of sorts, or visualizations. The combination has lead to what we have today. It is much like when you go to college and pretty much finally understanding your major (as it is taught), then discussing this with your parents. They simply don't "get it", what you are being taught and what you are figuring out. So it might be simpler to just consider them fools. At some point you figure out they have learned everything you have and rejected what of it they personally or professionally do not need and sifted out more of what is purely fiction. But it takes time. Why science has taken so long apart a whole other story. It does make sense though.
We would all love to be idealists. We would love to just have everything be fair, all people be equal, that health and age and on to death not be a reality. But that just is not the way it is, here, as things stands. Christians, of course, do or should believe there will be a time and place where this will happen. But not here. Socialists and communists believe they can make that heaven or whatever it really is here on earth (tower of babel), excluding God, created by the hand of man. I guess it comes down to whether you believe we (which comes down to you) can make heaven on earth or whether we have to wait, abide our time, and possibly be punished for doing good things as the way of it. Funny, there would be a great deal less horror if people would accept that heaven cannot be found or created on earth! How odd.
Well, on to... something. Have a great afternoon.
.
Have you ever wondered what money, big money, and the national debt look like, in real terms (both funded and unfunded, the latter of the two is rarely if every actually discussed)? Well, here is what real money and debt looks like. (Shamelessly stolen from Ace of Spades HQ, who they stole it from shamelessly is anyone's guess.)
This is a gun I really like and want. The only thing better, to my mind, would be a solidly designed (for survival) semi-automatic design. Still, I think this gun would do much better in the long term. She might not be a beautiful thing to some people's eyes, but she would be one of my pride and joys.
(Shamelessly stolen from Desert Cat, who is doing freelance advertising (and causing some of us to drool.))I've been watching the Catholic channel a bit. They have a priest who happens to be a physicist who has his own show. It is rather interesting. At first I was quite off-put by the combination. Well, more the physicist part of it. No, I don't mind physics. My problem is with physicists. They are often so sure, so public, and so wrong. In any case, after getting over my reservations, having seen bits of his show several times, I decided to give him a bit a chance. He, as a physicist, is still a bit preachy. But what he does have to say is quite interesting. Today, he came down to a main point. Physicists, solid ones who know their stuff (as it stands today), come down in one of two schools. Either they believe in a maker, a super entity that created everything and all (whether in a relationship or not is another thing). Or they believe in infinite alternate universes (which can neither be seen, nor visited, nor really tested for in any manner) which allows for the understanding currently accepted. True? Probably. I have been sort of watching physics off and on. It seems they are spending fortunes and huge amounts of time trying to theorize and prove alternative universes and such. This is often seen in science fiction as well. In any case, it was interesting.
While watching his show, I actually gained some idea of why science went secular and on to what it is now. Without someone to be current with the sciences and in the community who can tie religion to science and make sense of things, purely dedicated scientists are so involved with their work they simply cannot make any such connection. Further, those who choose to study science have traditionally been of a libertine nature, initially only nobility, then on to the children of the extremely wealthy. At one time, they had peasants standing around to do things for them, like holding numbers or objects in large groups, so the scientist could sort of have a "computer" of sorts, or visualizations. The combination has lead to what we have today. It is much like when you go to college and pretty much finally understanding your major (as it is taught), then discussing this with your parents. They simply don't "get it", what you are being taught and what you are figuring out. So it might be simpler to just consider them fools. At some point you figure out they have learned everything you have and rejected what of it they personally or professionally do not need and sifted out more of what is purely fiction. But it takes time. Why science has taken so long apart a whole other story. It does make sense though.
We would all love to be idealists. We would love to just have everything be fair, all people be equal, that health and age and on to death not be a reality. But that just is not the way it is, here, as things stands. Christians, of course, do or should believe there will be a time and place where this will happen. But not here. Socialists and communists believe they can make that heaven or whatever it really is here on earth (tower of babel), excluding God, created by the hand of man. I guess it comes down to whether you believe we (which comes down to you) can make heaven on earth or whether we have to wait, abide our time, and possibly be punished for doing good things as the way of it. Funny, there would be a great deal less horror if people would accept that heaven cannot be found or created on earth! How odd.
Well, on to... something. Have a great afternoon.
How to put it more precisely.
.
.
Equality. The issue of many debates, much legislation, great social strife, and many headaches. It really isn't complicated. To say all men are equal, and live off the premise, is to be, truth in whole, an idiot. Given enough technology, enough laws, and a near blackout of anyone who disagrees, a shaming of those who say the truth, can allow for the perception of equality. Black, white, man, woman, even child, these are not equal, in any way, on any platform. To make them appear so is to create a system so corrupt it is unsustainable. This has been tried before. Not only was it tried, God Himself intervened. It was when a king attempted to build the tower of babel. As before, the languages are becoming so divergent that communication is becoming impossible. And, like before, one group will seize power, the rest will scatter. America and Europe have become the towers. The choice isn't whether a division of power and a scattering of the weak is inevitable, only how long before it happens and who will be scattering. Who will hold power and who will be out of favor.
I guess, in some ways, I do not care. I don't care if your daughter married a muslim, in spite of being raised a Christian. What doesn't she like about Christianity? You didn't raise her right. I don't care if your son married out of his race. Again, there is something wrong, does he disregard his own race? I don't care if you have friends of other races and creeds, out of curiosity or proximity. But do you really know them, trust them? Perhaps you trust them more than an average man on the street, but if you live in a place where commingling is possible, you probably don't trust him as much as you think. You don't realize it, but you simply trust no one, not even yourself. Or, more to the point, you aren't a very trustworthy man. Women aren't what I would ever have called trustworthy. They are fine in a limited set of situations, but they will sell out for simple and relatively low prices. They were designed to do that.
Go ahead, enjoy. When choices are made though, you won't have the same choices you do today. Your friend won't allow it for his own sake. And, more, because he never did choose you. He simply chose the weakest link to gain some standing, status, connection in the larger group, the majority. And in times of trouble, the first thing lower forms do is detach from the weak, or use them much more directly.
The system that has been created to foist this false brotherhood of man on men is crumbling. When a nation once known for it's poor being overweight and it's rich being thin begins to revert to the world norms of the starving poor, you know times are changing. I can't say I won't relish a bit what is about to happen. And yet I have to think that it could have been different. No white socialist of Obama's pedigree would ever have been elected. He is a quota. And what he has done and is doing is going to unleash poverty and revert everything back to some unknown previous social, civil, and economic past. There will be great repercussions from this. All of this was created by developing a system which has tried to prove that equality is true, and has done nothing but the opposite. In the end, it has bankrupted itself.
While I cannot say if any particular man, woman, or child is superior in one sense, I can say with great certainty what they might be superior for, in, or about. I can tell you a boy genius probably can't survive well, even in a group, without all the modern conveniences. I can tell you a woman can't drive a big rig full time without becoming disabled rather quickly. I can tell you men stink at rearing young as primary providers, no matter how they try they just weren't made to do it. Believe what you wish, just understand when it all comes down and the blinds are lifted off your eyes you will be well and truly amazed at what an ass you have made of yourself in your beliefs.
Don't even bother. I am just the messenger. I am giving you a heads up. Then again, stone me if you will. Just understand, this too will be on your conscience. And you already have so very much to atone for. Plus, it won't change the truth.
.
Equality. The issue of many debates, much legislation, great social strife, and many headaches. It really isn't complicated. To say all men are equal, and live off the premise, is to be, truth in whole, an idiot. Given enough technology, enough laws, and a near blackout of anyone who disagrees, a shaming of those who say the truth, can allow for the perception of equality. Black, white, man, woman, even child, these are not equal, in any way, on any platform. To make them appear so is to create a system so corrupt it is unsustainable. This has been tried before. Not only was it tried, God Himself intervened. It was when a king attempted to build the tower of babel. As before, the languages are becoming so divergent that communication is becoming impossible. And, like before, one group will seize power, the rest will scatter. America and Europe have become the towers. The choice isn't whether a division of power and a scattering of the weak is inevitable, only how long before it happens and who will be scattering. Who will hold power and who will be out of favor.
I guess, in some ways, I do not care. I don't care if your daughter married a muslim, in spite of being raised a Christian. What doesn't she like about Christianity? You didn't raise her right. I don't care if your son married out of his race. Again, there is something wrong, does he disregard his own race? I don't care if you have friends of other races and creeds, out of curiosity or proximity. But do you really know them, trust them? Perhaps you trust them more than an average man on the street, but if you live in a place where commingling is possible, you probably don't trust him as much as you think. You don't realize it, but you simply trust no one, not even yourself. Or, more to the point, you aren't a very trustworthy man. Women aren't what I would ever have called trustworthy. They are fine in a limited set of situations, but they will sell out for simple and relatively low prices. They were designed to do that.
Go ahead, enjoy. When choices are made though, you won't have the same choices you do today. Your friend won't allow it for his own sake. And, more, because he never did choose you. He simply chose the weakest link to gain some standing, status, connection in the larger group, the majority. And in times of trouble, the first thing lower forms do is detach from the weak, or use them much more directly.
The system that has been created to foist this false brotherhood of man on men is crumbling. When a nation once known for it's poor being overweight and it's rich being thin begins to revert to the world norms of the starving poor, you know times are changing. I can't say I won't relish a bit what is about to happen. And yet I have to think that it could have been different. No white socialist of Obama's pedigree would ever have been elected. He is a quota. And what he has done and is doing is going to unleash poverty and revert everything back to some unknown previous social, civil, and economic past. There will be great repercussions from this. All of this was created by developing a system which has tried to prove that equality is true, and has done nothing but the opposite. In the end, it has bankrupted itself.
While I cannot say if any particular man, woman, or child is superior in one sense, I can say with great certainty what they might be superior for, in, or about. I can tell you a boy genius probably can't survive well, even in a group, without all the modern conveniences. I can tell you a woman can't drive a big rig full time without becoming disabled rather quickly. I can tell you men stink at rearing young as primary providers, no matter how they try they just weren't made to do it. Believe what you wish, just understand when it all comes down and the blinds are lifted off your eyes you will be well and truly amazed at what an ass you have made of yourself in your beliefs.
Don't even bother. I am just the messenger. I am giving you a heads up. Then again, stone me if you will. Just understand, this too will be on your conscience. And you already have so very much to atone for. Plus, it won't change the truth.
Three women haunt me.
.
.
The ones that got away. No, not ones that I messed up on, ones that were literally available for marriage. Well, two for sure and one a probable. Pretty? Oh yes. Two of them were model pretty and the other one would have been save for freckles (not gross or such, just too many to be technically in the field). I have seen two of them since. Oh, nothing liking bashing one's face against a brick wall, that's what bumping into them is like. What is worse, is whatever they liked about me then... they still like about me. One is married with two children and still gorgeous. The other was just getting a divorce but had also just gotten a hysterectomy. I haven't seen the other in years, thankfully, sadly.
In truth, I wasn't ready when they were. The first of them I came very close to getting pregnant. No, we abstained, but just barely. She was quick and devoted to staying chaste. High school, wouldn't you know. The second one was from another high school. The last I met in that last high school but we didn't... meet and become interested until our early 30's. It wouldn't have worked then. But I would have had kids. I can damn sure guarantee that. Still I am glad I didn't drag a women through this crap medical situation, or even as far as she would have gone with it. Hard to know though, some women bond more strongly the worse the deal. And it isn't like I am abusive. I simply don't function and get a bit testy when it is shoved in my face. I wonder what they would have thought after realizing it wasn't psychiatric, but actually medical instead? Who knows. Too many ifs to possibly ponder.
It's about bedtime. I am going to sleep while I can, as I may get a call tomorrow about the bike and I want to get right on that. I also have some other business I would like to work on and check on. Oh, one of my goals is, if I have money left at the end of the month, to sweep that all into savings for one of a number of projects or possible needs. I might have $300 to $600 this month, though some of that will go for a rocket stove. That is on top of a little that goes into savings automatically. Perhaps, if I get some business squared, and save a bit, I can pay my vehicle off and put that money against a few odd outstanding loans, then roll most of that up and put it against my home. All bills paid off I could almost double what I am paying on the home. But I also want something of a nestegg to begin improving the home for a future sale. Yes, prices are dropping, but they are dropping faster in the segment of houses one to two steps up from mine. Raising the value of this house, and having a good chunk of it paid, would make that transition quite a bit less painless. Ah, uhrm, just... thinking.
What do I want? More land and a slightly larger, more modern (depending) home. So long as there are trees, 5 to 10 acres, some outbuildings, and perhaps various water rights especially a well that could be or is fitted with a renewable energy pump and a standard one. Backup is your friend. One acre is good for up to 4 to 6 goats, a dozen chickens, and maybe a horse. I would like a place to have three to four horses, similar goats and chickens, ducks, and perhaps a milk cow and calf. Plus a bit more land for gardening. I am not sure being too far from town is the best idea. Actually having a small community act as a blockage to the few ways to enter an area would be good. Having to drive miles to shop is not all that fun. Just more thinking.
No, I'm not a perfect prepper. I actually am a bit dubious about those who build their mountain of steel in the wild wide open hinterlands. The cabin I lived in when I was a foster child was as close to the popular ideal of that as you could get, we even had running water (piped in from the creek of a spring). You could only access it via logging roads, further needing a 4x4 unless (like our neighbor) you were half insane. And, you could hear anyone coming for an hour or more. There were also numerous other logging roads out, so if someone was coming and you believed it was better to depart, they really couldn't have followed you. Plenty of wood, all the food you could store would be easily protected. But then, winters would have been tough. At least skis (though coming up would have been a major pain), perhaps while gas is available a snowmobile, and always the fear of simply being obliterated. No large towns anywhere close, only a small town down the mountain and then through the overpass or valley, whatever they called the main road in.
I wonder how many people have bugout bungalows that are uninhabitable part or even much of the year, if they really thought about it? Anyway, my reasoning is slightly different from the simple get-away. Then again I think many people really haven't ever been in wilderness. Knowing only the city, everything seems possible. It isn't. You could bring everything you want, everything you could need for years, or even want, and it just isn't the same. You go feral or you die. Even then you might just fall, or get hit by an avalanche, or simply starve because you lose your food and really don't have the skills to survive. You don't grow tomatoes in a month and a half, not at altitude, even with a glass house (unless you want to put it on stilts to stick out of 20 to 30 feet of snow, or more, and then... climb to it, and then figure out how to keep it warm enough, doubling or tripling your wood use, plus the problem of hauling... no). Not enough sun to make that worthwhile in any case, and the sun just wouldn't have had enough 'nutrients' for plants.
I keep reading specialized articles at survival blogs. Those are simply impossible for all but professionals, and even then rather unsustainable without manufacturing picking back up, and transport becoming possible, and some standard currency in place, and... And no EOTWAWKI. No, can't fantasize about having your cake and eating it too. Then again there are levels of disaster preparedness. EOTW is just the worst case. Like Zen, you learn in layers, I suppose. But some have simply jumped so far down the hole that they can never come back up (no, not you, your crap is good... except maybe to her). But even YOU know what I mean. I mean when YOU look over some of this stuff, you have to be saying... damn, that guy is an idiot. "I have my dozens of radios, with all the parts, and this, and that, and techy, and new age, and this goes here", and he doesn't even have a crew. He will go batshit and eat a barrel before six months, or worse.
Hmm, grumbling. Bed time. Good night.
.
The ones that got away. No, not ones that I messed up on, ones that were literally available for marriage. Well, two for sure and one a probable. Pretty? Oh yes. Two of them were model pretty and the other one would have been save for freckles (not gross or such, just too many to be technically in the field). I have seen two of them since. Oh, nothing liking bashing one's face against a brick wall, that's what bumping into them is like. What is worse, is whatever they liked about me then... they still like about me. One is married with two children and still gorgeous. The other was just getting a divorce but had also just gotten a hysterectomy. I haven't seen the other in years, thankfully, sadly.
In truth, I wasn't ready when they were. The first of them I came very close to getting pregnant. No, we abstained, but just barely. She was quick and devoted to staying chaste. High school, wouldn't you know. The second one was from another high school. The last I met in that last high school but we didn't... meet and become interested until our early 30's. It wouldn't have worked then. But I would have had kids. I can damn sure guarantee that. Still I am glad I didn't drag a women through this crap medical situation, or even as far as she would have gone with it. Hard to know though, some women bond more strongly the worse the deal. And it isn't like I am abusive. I simply don't function and get a bit testy when it is shoved in my face. I wonder what they would have thought after realizing it wasn't psychiatric, but actually medical instead? Who knows. Too many ifs to possibly ponder.
It's about bedtime. I am going to sleep while I can, as I may get a call tomorrow about the bike and I want to get right on that. I also have some other business I would like to work on and check on. Oh, one of my goals is, if I have money left at the end of the month, to sweep that all into savings for one of a number of projects or possible needs. I might have $300 to $600 this month, though some of that will go for a rocket stove. That is on top of a little that goes into savings automatically. Perhaps, if I get some business squared, and save a bit, I can pay my vehicle off and put that money against a few odd outstanding loans, then roll most of that up and put it against my home. All bills paid off I could almost double what I am paying on the home. But I also want something of a nestegg to begin improving the home for a future sale. Yes, prices are dropping, but they are dropping faster in the segment of houses one to two steps up from mine. Raising the value of this house, and having a good chunk of it paid, would make that transition quite a bit less painless. Ah, uhrm, just... thinking.
What do I want? More land and a slightly larger, more modern (depending) home. So long as there are trees, 5 to 10 acres, some outbuildings, and perhaps various water rights especially a well that could be or is fitted with a renewable energy pump and a standard one. Backup is your friend. One acre is good for up to 4 to 6 goats, a dozen chickens, and maybe a horse. I would like a place to have three to four horses, similar goats and chickens, ducks, and perhaps a milk cow and calf. Plus a bit more land for gardening. I am not sure being too far from town is the best idea. Actually having a small community act as a blockage to the few ways to enter an area would be good. Having to drive miles to shop is not all that fun. Just more thinking.
No, I'm not a perfect prepper. I actually am a bit dubious about those who build their mountain of steel in the wild wide open hinterlands. The cabin I lived in when I was a foster child was as close to the popular ideal of that as you could get, we even had running water (piped in from the creek of a spring). You could only access it via logging roads, further needing a 4x4 unless (like our neighbor) you were half insane. And, you could hear anyone coming for an hour or more. There were also numerous other logging roads out, so if someone was coming and you believed it was better to depart, they really couldn't have followed you. Plenty of wood, all the food you could store would be easily protected. But then, winters would have been tough. At least skis (though coming up would have been a major pain), perhaps while gas is available a snowmobile, and always the fear of simply being obliterated. No large towns anywhere close, only a small town down the mountain and then through the overpass or valley, whatever they called the main road in.
I wonder how many people have bugout bungalows that are uninhabitable part or even much of the year, if they really thought about it? Anyway, my reasoning is slightly different from the simple get-away. Then again I think many people really haven't ever been in wilderness. Knowing only the city, everything seems possible. It isn't. You could bring everything you want, everything you could need for years, or even want, and it just isn't the same. You go feral or you die. Even then you might just fall, or get hit by an avalanche, or simply starve because you lose your food and really don't have the skills to survive. You don't grow tomatoes in a month and a half, not at altitude, even with a glass house (unless you want to put it on stilts to stick out of 20 to 30 feet of snow, or more, and then... climb to it, and then figure out how to keep it warm enough, doubling or tripling your wood use, plus the problem of hauling... no). Not enough sun to make that worthwhile in any case, and the sun just wouldn't have had enough 'nutrients' for plants.
I keep reading specialized articles at survival blogs. Those are simply impossible for all but professionals, and even then rather unsustainable without manufacturing picking back up, and transport becoming possible, and some standard currency in place, and... And no EOTWAWKI. No, can't fantasize about having your cake and eating it too. Then again there are levels of disaster preparedness. EOTW is just the worst case. Like Zen, you learn in layers, I suppose. But some have simply jumped so far down the hole that they can never come back up (no, not you, your crap is good... except maybe to her). But even YOU know what I mean. I mean when YOU look over some of this stuff, you have to be saying... damn, that guy is an idiot. "I have my dozens of radios, with all the parts, and this, and that, and techy, and new age, and this goes here", and he doesn't even have a crew. He will go batshit and eat a barrel before six months, or worse.
Hmm, grumbling. Bed time. Good night.
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