.
.
I went down late and a little hard. I was awake and 4:00(ish) and down at about 22:00, add in the trip to town, a half a dozen stops at stores, various shopping, wheeling my friend around, a couple of meals, and... when I finally calmed to sleep I went in hard. I think I saw the ground coming at me, or was it the other way around? I leveled her out as much as possible, and think I did a pretty good job, actually. It was still a hard bump, and I woke sometime last night needing to empty a whining bladder but never rose above the level of zombie with a simple task and sleep was an easy thing to find when I finished.
I set the alarm for 6:00. I had, at that hour, thought that was 10 hours? Math was fuzzy as I was heading down. The goal, in my mind, was to wake at 4:00, or at least before the alarm went off. I was up by 5:15 alarm time (5:00 real time, I put in an edge on all my clocks because I am who, and what, I am). As it turns out I slept less than I really recommend. In part due to poor late night math skills and some ability to regulate my internal alarm at the moment. Still, seven hours should be sufficient. I won't be doing a great deal of work today. A bit in the kitchen is on the menu. Stripping the rifle down for a thorough stripping, cleaning, partial part kit upgrade, and oiling in prep for it's first firing, perhaps as early as early next week. Laundry is in the queue as well.
If I can stick to the plans, I have some chance at getting some things done. But there are always distractions, there is the possibility that I pushed a bit hard yesterday and the batteries are not back to enough of a charge, and my life is not mine, always, to command. Still, it's about making a plan and working at it. That is all any of us have, if some can go further.
I was speaking with a gentleman recently. It seems I am concrete in his eyes. Not a terrible thing, and with it's place, and somewhat respected to a degree. We spoke on the matter a bit. And, it is true. If someone suggests a rock is a tree, I will chew up and spit out that idea. If they try to tell me that blue is purple, I will rip that notion apart. I generally try to be non-personal, unless I believe I am dealing with a snake. Snakes in the grass need to be dealt with harshly and directly. Fools won't be suffered, but they can be taught. Or at least given no options but to not head out. Don't try parlor tricks, I am better at them. I simply have no interest, or need, to fool people... mostly.
Still, I don't think he understood some things. While I am intellectually, ideally, solid, unmoving, unemotional, and with very strict guidelines, he, I suggested, was so of flesh. Many don't understand that. He has many responsibilities. He has had and still has many things he has to do, every day, that all claim some of him. He has overcome obstacles that aren't really his area. In life, even if he isn't in business for himself, he is a stock hard core businessman and he does his business and tends his responsibilities no less rigorously than I defend my perceptions of truth and fact and some such. "Oh, well, you know... I never thought of it that way." Aye, that is what friends are for. He is every bit as hard iron as I am, just in a slightly different way. I know, I have met his sons. Not a brutal father, just a solid one. Some men have a hard time seeing their worth, so busy being it. He's got a solid wife, too. Some folk amaze me. Humble, too, in the right way.
Anyway... I will finish waking, then... figure out what to do next. Life doesn't wait on fools... does that mean I am not a fool, since life does wait on me? :p Never the notion. Just a misinterpretation of a miscalculation, but the idea does tickle my fancy. Later.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Mistaken.
.
.
Last night I put up a post with some ire in it. I had thought my haiku had been removed. It had been a long day, and when I visited the site, and looked at the haiku page, I didn't see my poems. As it turns out, for some reason, the contest has been split into two parts. My haiku is still there, but on the other page. Okay, fair enough, I was wrong. I asked a fellow contestant what might be happening. The feedback allowed me to understand. After a long day, however, I couldn't quite deal with the initial understanding or the revised understanding, so I simply, for the night, removed my post.
And, while it might have looked as if I was angry, it wasn't quite what it seemed. I had meant to prick what I had thought was a tempestuous psyche, to get it's owner to... discuss things. If someone is angry, enjoin that anger. I can't find it off-hand, but there was a suggestion that as you speak with people, speak with them in the way that they understand. And so I set out to do just that. I was attempting to create engagement. It doesn't always work. Sometimes reverse psychology is a better method. It's an art, however, not a science. While stewing just a bit, I was... chuckling back in there too. Why? Well... for my own peculiarities? Something like that. I don't worry about most things, not really, mostly, personally. If I am not perfectly wooden, mind you. But the anger, or what appears to be anger, from some folk, the fairer folk... is a little joy, at times, in places, in ways. As I have mentioned.
Never mind. My mistake. Rather than just sweeping it aside, however, I am choosing to... mention it. And apologize if any umbrage was taken at my mistake. It's... what I can do. Being the whole thing is haiku related, I went digging in my own back yard and...
.
Last night I put up a post with some ire in it. I had thought my haiku had been removed. It had been a long day, and when I visited the site, and looked at the haiku page, I didn't see my poems. As it turns out, for some reason, the contest has been split into two parts. My haiku is still there, but on the other page. Okay, fair enough, I was wrong. I asked a fellow contestant what might be happening. The feedback allowed me to understand. After a long day, however, I couldn't quite deal with the initial understanding or the revised understanding, so I simply, for the night, removed my post.
And, while it might have looked as if I was angry, it wasn't quite what it seemed. I had meant to prick what I had thought was a tempestuous psyche, to get it's owner to... discuss things. If someone is angry, enjoin that anger. I can't find it off-hand, but there was a suggestion that as you speak with people, speak with them in the way that they understand. And so I set out to do just that. I was attempting to create engagement. It doesn't always work. Sometimes reverse psychology is a better method. It's an art, however, not a science. While stewing just a bit, I was... chuckling back in there too. Why? Well... for my own peculiarities? Something like that. I don't worry about most things, not really, mostly, personally. If I am not perfectly wooden, mind you. But the anger, or what appears to be anger, from some folk, the fairer folk... is a little joy, at times, in places, in ways. As I have mentioned.
Never mind. My mistake. Rather than just sweeping it aside, however, I am choosing to... mention it. And apologize if any umbrage was taken at my mistake. It's... what I can do. Being the whole thing is haiku related, I went digging in my own back yard and...
not for me to say
asking in earnest, receiving -
what is afforded
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
I see.
.
.
-----------------------------------------------------removed---------------------------------------------
I made it into town, helped my friend do some shopping, did some of my own, and set a few things up. I found everything, by brand, at about the same price, for cleaning the guns. The only thing I couldn't find was a specific degreaser and a specific gun grease. After several hours of shopping, though, and a meal, I think we were both a bit too worn out to mess with his machine. It sounds like there is a printer problem, something to figure out next time I am in. I want to get the system windowed too. He is stuck in the Win 8 monstrosity, and can, sort of, get around. But it's an ugly stupid thing that really needs to be fixed. He shouldn't have to hope he can remember how to get to the internet, or hope that email is something he catches, before being distracted by a mistake and having to just... think of something else to do, something he hadn't intended but... it's there and he lost his train of thought.
It is good to get out once in a while. Later this week, I told him, I should be back. If the weather clears we will get out shooting next week. He has a pistol, maybe two, that he hasn't gotten to shoot yet. I should have the ak in order by then, and I'd like to try the 30 round mags for the 9mm. I'm sure they will work just fine. I guess it's the novelty of having to not load as often. With three of those, and one of the tens, that's two boxes of ammo, in the hand, ready to shoot. I would love to get the .22 Henry out. That thing... you just can't miss with it. But the ammunition is impossible to find and it's one thing I can't reload. My guess is that even .22 reloaders have problems finding components. Yeah, there are some who have that equipment. But that is for extreme shooters, in a specialty niche.
Later.
.
-----------------------------------------------------removed---------------------------------------------
I made it into town, helped my friend do some shopping, did some of my own, and set a few things up. I found everything, by brand, at about the same price, for cleaning the guns. The only thing I couldn't find was a specific degreaser and a specific gun grease. After several hours of shopping, though, and a meal, I think we were both a bit too worn out to mess with his machine. It sounds like there is a printer problem, something to figure out next time I am in. I want to get the system windowed too. He is stuck in the Win 8 monstrosity, and can, sort of, get around. But it's an ugly stupid thing that really needs to be fixed. He shouldn't have to hope he can remember how to get to the internet, or hope that email is something he catches, before being distracted by a mistake and having to just... think of something else to do, something he hadn't intended but... it's there and he lost his train of thought.
It is good to get out once in a while. Later this week, I told him, I should be back. If the weather clears we will get out shooting next week. He has a pistol, maybe two, that he hasn't gotten to shoot yet. I should have the ak in order by then, and I'd like to try the 30 round mags for the 9mm. I'm sure they will work just fine. I guess it's the novelty of having to not load as often. With three of those, and one of the tens, that's two boxes of ammo, in the hand, ready to shoot. I would love to get the .22 Henry out. That thing... you just can't miss with it. But the ammunition is impossible to find and it's one thing I can't reload. My guess is that even .22 reloaders have problems finding components. Yeah, there are some who have that equipment. But that is for extreme shooters, in a specialty niche.
Later.
Best get going.
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My friend called, to see what the plan is. Of course, I'll be coming in. I had hoped to be a little further along. It's simply a slow day. I gave him a time, and one I can keep... probably. He has a few other things to do. Never a problem. I try to be ready to deal with any shopping or transport he might need, while visiting. As is, it works out that I need to visit some of the shops he wants to visit. It's great when that works out. As well, he might know where a shop or two I want to visit are. The city is his home. He just natively knows where some places are. Remember, I am mostly dead. If I don't need to know, I don't go looking. I have limits on energy usage and don't look to add anything I don't immediately need. If I need it, more than once especially, I will... dial it in, plug it on, and keep it. Otherwise it is a waste of energy. Limits.
I am hoping to find some items for gun cleaning. By this Friday, all of the parts for the ak-47 should be in. At which time, I am hoping to completely break it down, cutting the shepherds hook if need be as that is giving me problems, and rebuilding the rifle with new parts and kit. The rifle hasn't been cleaned yet, but looks to be in very good order, not packed in grease as I had feared. Still, a complete stripping of the metal, then oiling, while I am rebuilding, would... make me more comfortable as to finally getting it out to shoot. I really am picky, but... well... It works for me. I have the exact items, a price sheet to compare with another source, of the items I am looking for, and... yeah... we will see. I could always strip it, clean it, and have it ready for the last of the new parts, if I can find the cleaning supplies I want.
I don't know if he will want me to set up the windowed platform, at this point. I think, in the end, it would be easier for him. Not so much for his sister, who now has Win 8 and is used to it. Though his other friend would appreciate it. He simply has no experience, so adding a seeming complexity onto an already complex new system might not be appreciated. Much as someone with a wound dressing might not wish to have that dressing changed. Might just have to do it anyway. *zip* *Yeow!* It's what friends are for. Oh, and as I suggested, FireFox. He won't know why, but... that isn't any more the point than is following some doctor's instructions. Now, in my case, when doctors prove neither always correct, willing to listen, or able to fix given their way, I have a reason to ignore, at times, mind you. But that is really and truly different.
Yes, a shower will feel good. I might kick that out right away, so as to give myself fifteen minutes to air dry before gearing and going. I'm hungry, but would rather grab a bite in town. Good day, and... later.
.
My friend called, to see what the plan is. Of course, I'll be coming in. I had hoped to be a little further along. It's simply a slow day. I gave him a time, and one I can keep... probably. He has a few other things to do. Never a problem. I try to be ready to deal with any shopping or transport he might need, while visiting. As is, it works out that I need to visit some of the shops he wants to visit. It's great when that works out. As well, he might know where a shop or two I want to visit are. The city is his home. He just natively knows where some places are. Remember, I am mostly dead. If I don't need to know, I don't go looking. I have limits on energy usage and don't look to add anything I don't immediately need. If I need it, more than once especially, I will... dial it in, plug it on, and keep it. Otherwise it is a waste of energy. Limits.
I am hoping to find some items for gun cleaning. By this Friday, all of the parts for the ak-47 should be in. At which time, I am hoping to completely break it down, cutting the shepherds hook if need be as that is giving me problems, and rebuilding the rifle with new parts and kit. The rifle hasn't been cleaned yet, but looks to be in very good order, not packed in grease as I had feared. Still, a complete stripping of the metal, then oiling, while I am rebuilding, would... make me more comfortable as to finally getting it out to shoot. I really am picky, but... well... It works for me. I have the exact items, a price sheet to compare with another source, of the items I am looking for, and... yeah... we will see. I could always strip it, clean it, and have it ready for the last of the new parts, if I can find the cleaning supplies I want.
I don't know if he will want me to set up the windowed platform, at this point. I think, in the end, it would be easier for him. Not so much for his sister, who now has Win 8 and is used to it. Though his other friend would appreciate it. He simply has no experience, so adding a seeming complexity onto an already complex new system might not be appreciated. Much as someone with a wound dressing might not wish to have that dressing changed. Might just have to do it anyway. *zip* *Yeow!* It's what friends are for. Oh, and as I suggested, FireFox. He won't know why, but... that isn't any more the point than is following some doctor's instructions. Now, in my case, when doctors prove neither always correct, willing to listen, or able to fix given their way, I have a reason to ignore, at times, mind you. But that is really and truly different.
Yes, a shower will feel good. I might kick that out right away, so as to give myself fifteen minutes to air dry before gearing and going. I'm hungry, but would rather grab a bite in town. Good day, and... later.
Laughing or a rictus grin?
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.
Oh, I know. Many would see me dead. I don't fit their beliefs. I say truths that, even if they know, they don't want to hear. I won't change my tune, no matter threat or bribe. I am immune to sexual appeal, physical threat, the lusts of fruits, or the glitter of gold. I am not even afraid of death, or pain. How do you deal with a man who just won't go along to get various legs up? Even when you, he, and the world has tried to end it, he keeps going. Ignore? Ah, but for some reason, you can't. Truth is sweeter than the pain it causes those who don't wish to know it. For some unGodly(?) reason? *grin*
While I have changed, life is hard for me. Still, I will keep it, and at it, as I may and God willing. I don't fear what is done to me for not going along, one way or the other. Oh, not to say I am fearless, only that anything that can be done to me can be handed to God, and actually with honest thanks. Unreachable by the way of flesh, the link is immutable. I am, now and forever more, my Father's child. And yet, if it were to be God's will, that I should leave my mortal coil, I would do so just as happily, more so to be sure. The briars of liars tear, the hate of the unloving burns, the weight of the world is great upon my shoulders, the sureness of sin is a horror among the willfully sinful.
Those who would tear me apart do not understand. Even in their hate, they can not know the pains I suffer to stay, or the great patience I lend the command of my God to stay. They simply do not know the extent of the physical suffering I endure. Should they get their deepest, darkest desire? They would be doing me a favor. I don't think, if I can't undo my Father's will, that they can. Christ prayed to live as much as I have prayed to be released, both of us understand that it is not our will that matters. Bloody tears indeed.
.
Oh, I know. Many would see me dead. I don't fit their beliefs. I say truths that, even if they know, they don't want to hear. I won't change my tune, no matter threat or bribe. I am immune to sexual appeal, physical threat, the lusts of fruits, or the glitter of gold. I am not even afraid of death, or pain. How do you deal with a man who just won't go along to get various legs up? Even when you, he, and the world has tried to end it, he keeps going. Ignore? Ah, but for some reason, you can't. Truth is sweeter than the pain it causes those who don't wish to know it. For some unGodly(?) reason? *grin*
While I have changed, life is hard for me. Still, I will keep it, and at it, as I may and God willing. I don't fear what is done to me for not going along, one way or the other. Oh, not to say I am fearless, only that anything that can be done to me can be handed to God, and actually with honest thanks. Unreachable by the way of flesh, the link is immutable. I am, now and forever more, my Father's child. And yet, if it were to be God's will, that I should leave my mortal coil, I would do so just as happily, more so to be sure. The briars of liars tear, the hate of the unloving burns, the weight of the world is great upon my shoulders, the sureness of sin is a horror among the willfully sinful.
Those who would tear me apart do not understand. Even in their hate, they can not know the pains I suffer to stay, or the great patience I lend the command of my God to stay. They simply do not know the extent of the physical suffering I endure. Should they get their deepest, darkest desire? They would be doing me a favor. I don't think, if I can't undo my Father's will, that they can. Christ prayed to live as much as I have prayed to be released, both of us understand that it is not our will that matters. Bloody tears indeed.
I ended up taking a nap.
.
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Late in the afternoon, around 16:00, I went down pretty hard. Dinner was set to arrive, so I had set the alarm for 18:00. I blew through the alarm, but heard the phone. They call before visiting, just in case I am asleep. I used to be asleep often, almost always in the beginning. Even after a bit, I would go through spells of sleep that would last a long time. I wonder if they remember that, and actually in spite of my current condition, how much that has improved? Never mind. After a spot of dinner, I stayed up a bit, a very short bit. I had meant to stay up until 20:00 but that did not work. I went back to bed no more than an half hour after dinner arrived.
I didn't set the alarm. I wasn't sure... what time to set it at. Things are sort of free-floating, I can't gain purchase on a good schedule, don't have a good handle on what is going on with my body, and things are just screwy. I ended up waking at 4:00, give or take. I have set alarm on the clock, so as to feed the girls shortly. Perhaps take a shower then as well. I promised my friend I would be in to town to help figure out his machine a bit more today. I may need a nap in there, so... a shower is a bit iffy. If I take one, then take a nap, I'll just have to take another shower before I head out. Hmm, could just wear a baseball cap, if that isn't my preferred way.
Oh, the call I received yesterday, from the V.A.? The nurse asked if I worked. I do have to laugh. They must spend more time reading my blog and hating on it then they do my medical file. Government workers, unions, and women... all things lead to the wrong pages. I wonder if they ask everyone with a failed heart if they are working, or just me. And you wonder why I question so many things? Proof? Again... pudding. I suppose reading a file on a long term "client" is asking a bit much, before putting foot in mouth though? It's not even like I haven't tried to work, or get an education. Some things don't mix. Women just work for spending money, though, not to do a dedicated job. Unless they can't find a man, and don't believe the governments handouts are enough for their styles of new shoes, or whatever it is they want. Hey, I'm not the one who was being stupidly passive aggressive on the phone with a medically incapacitated man. Don't even look at me funny for seeing what was wrong with the picture. If I thought I could work, even make it in to work, I would give it a shot. I can't even wake up on a regular schedule.
These boxelder bugs are extremely annoying. For the moment, I have the screen door cracked open, so that they don't congregate in there. Something about it being closed offers them a warm, dry, box that they can still get into. And when the door is opened, they swarm in. When the spray arrives, I'll be taking care of that, and getting a few other areas for a few other things. But for now, just keeping that screen door open keeps them from gathering, then swarming, quite like they otherwise wood.
I should get on to a few other things this morning. Blogging is slow lately. News is pretty much focused on Zero's inability to cope with anything that his teleprompt writers won't write about. He picks on friends and allies while fearing tin-pot dicators. Those being more potent than himself, sadly. Coffee boys really shouldn't try to play class presidents, not even to fill a quota. Of course, with B. Clinton having been both the first black and the first woman president, somehow, I'm not sure we really needed an actual one of either sort. Voting I.D. laws would probably prevent both, but that's another topic. Oh, just a reminder, if you ever go to an anti-Voter I.D. forum? Remember to bring your I.D., it's required. *grin*
Yeah... on to something.
.
Late in the afternoon, around 16:00, I went down pretty hard. Dinner was set to arrive, so I had set the alarm for 18:00. I blew through the alarm, but heard the phone. They call before visiting, just in case I am asleep. I used to be asleep often, almost always in the beginning. Even after a bit, I would go through spells of sleep that would last a long time. I wonder if they remember that, and actually in spite of my current condition, how much that has improved? Never mind. After a spot of dinner, I stayed up a bit, a very short bit. I had meant to stay up until 20:00 but that did not work. I went back to bed no more than an half hour after dinner arrived.
I didn't set the alarm. I wasn't sure... what time to set it at. Things are sort of free-floating, I can't gain purchase on a good schedule, don't have a good handle on what is going on with my body, and things are just screwy. I ended up waking at 4:00, give or take. I have set alarm on the clock, so as to feed the girls shortly. Perhaps take a shower then as well. I promised my friend I would be in to town to help figure out his machine a bit more today. I may need a nap in there, so... a shower is a bit iffy. If I take one, then take a nap, I'll just have to take another shower before I head out. Hmm, could just wear a baseball cap, if that isn't my preferred way.
Oh, the call I received yesterday, from the V.A.? The nurse asked if I worked. I do have to laugh. They must spend more time reading my blog and hating on it then they do my medical file. Government workers, unions, and women... all things lead to the wrong pages. I wonder if they ask everyone with a failed heart if they are working, or just me. And you wonder why I question so many things? Proof? Again... pudding. I suppose reading a file on a long term "client" is asking a bit much, before putting foot in mouth though? It's not even like I haven't tried to work, or get an education. Some things don't mix. Women just work for spending money, though, not to do a dedicated job. Unless they can't find a man, and don't believe the governments handouts are enough for their styles of new shoes, or whatever it is they want. Hey, I'm not the one who was being stupidly passive aggressive on the phone with a medically incapacitated man. Don't even look at me funny for seeing what was wrong with the picture. If I thought I could work, even make it in to work, I would give it a shot. I can't even wake up on a regular schedule.
These boxelder bugs are extremely annoying. For the moment, I have the screen door cracked open, so that they don't congregate in there. Something about it being closed offers them a warm, dry, box that they can still get into. And when the door is opened, they swarm in. When the spray arrives, I'll be taking care of that, and getting a few other areas for a few other things. But for now, just keeping that screen door open keeps them from gathering, then swarming, quite like they otherwise wood.
I should get on to a few other things this morning. Blogging is slow lately. News is pretty much focused on Zero's inability to cope with anything that his teleprompt writers won't write about. He picks on friends and allies while fearing tin-pot dicators. Those being more potent than himself, sadly. Coffee boys really shouldn't try to play class presidents, not even to fill a quota. Of course, with B. Clinton having been both the first black and the first woman president, somehow, I'm not sure we really needed an actual one of either sort. Voting I.D. laws would probably prevent both, but that's another topic. Oh, just a reminder, if you ever go to an anti-Voter I.D. forum? Remember to bring your I.D., it's required. *grin*
Yeah... on to something.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Haiku Monday - Daydreaming
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Our girl is up! Becca has the theme and instructions up here. Go play as you will.
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Our girl is up! Becca has the theme and instructions up here. Go play as you will.
beautiful lake and
gentle breeze on a warm day ~
quit honking, moving
shifting thoughts pull
can't concentrate - might as well
enjoy the kind flow
bear, elk, cat, friends all
life on a different plane
no needs but kindness
I paced the meal just right.
.
.
Not too much, not too little, and my appetite seems well sated. That it existed surprised me. Despite what you may think, I am a being of hope. I approached my meal with such. It did it's part, me mine. I enjoyed the cabbage much better, it not being overdone. Further, it is still crisp enough that warming it will not ruin it. The carrots still had some bite to them, though next time I may just add them with the cabbage. Something to tinker with.
It is a good day. An odd day but a good one. I am a bit slow, with only less than a handful of hours of sleep, give or take a finger. No, not that one. Mood is cheery even if the body is less than enamored with fine motor control or muscle usage. Oh, I suppose I could do one thing before the day is spent, a call to the pharmacy. I can't take more insulin if I don't have any on hand. I don't even need heavy math for that.
With the weather warming, Sam is getting out more often and staying out longer. That brings me some happiness, as I know she loves to be outside. I really need to see about joining her once in a while. She loves the company. She might even bring me half of a mouse! I am quite sure she has been eating good in the neighborhood. It is a joy to watch her work. She does so with intensity and relish. She is indeed a fisher of mice.
Later.
.
Not too much, not too little, and my appetite seems well sated. That it existed surprised me. Despite what you may think, I am a being of hope. I approached my meal with such. It did it's part, me mine. I enjoyed the cabbage much better, it not being overdone. Further, it is still crisp enough that warming it will not ruin it. The carrots still had some bite to them, though next time I may just add them with the cabbage. Something to tinker with.
It is a good day. An odd day but a good one. I am a bit slow, with only less than a handful of hours of sleep, give or take a finger. No, not that one. Mood is cheery even if the body is less than enamored with fine motor control or muscle usage. Oh, I suppose I could do one thing before the day is spent, a call to the pharmacy. I can't take more insulin if I don't have any on hand. I don't even need heavy math for that.
With the weather warming, Sam is getting out more often and staying out longer. That brings me some happiness, as I know she loves to be outside. I really need to see about joining her once in a while. She loves the company. She might even bring me half of a mouse! I am quite sure she has been eating good in the neighborhood. It is a joy to watch her work. She does so with intensity and relish. She is indeed a fisher of mice.
Later.
No nap will be needed.
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Perhaps. Though, if I enjoy a bit too much corned beef and cabbage, that might change the tune. It is almost ready. In 15 minutes I will add cabbage, and let that cook for about another 15 minutes, then done. I did hold off on the carrots, putting them in just now. An half hour should be plenty, and they will retain some of their bite. While cooking, I finally finished the last, I think, of the Hannibal Lector series, for me anyway. I am not sure I watched them in order. Hannibal Rising, I believe it was. A free view for Amazon Prime members. Finally, I see his driving factors. While it may seem to be one thing, it rarely is. Though, a few darker moments and notions can... color things much more harshly in the totality.
It's sort of strange though, to know, finally, what made a movie anti-hero... and yet not know my own story. Not all of it. Not, probably, the half of it at the most. After watching the show, I do realize why the mind might keep some things secret, keep them safe. At least I know, anything I have left is, has been, blessed. I think most of the problems have already been handled, and are behind me. Some can never quite escape what they have become, some are called away. If lucky, they follow the voice. I am a lucky man. It's fragile though, I won't allow some things to ever be revisited. Not while I draw breath. Not in my presence.
I was thinking, though, that should I find a wife, I will teach her some things. No, gently you fool. While a woman cannot defeat a warrior, she can surprise him and escape peril. I can teach a woman much. Enough, perhaps, for a chance. Just in case her firearms are out of reach, for some reason. I can't give her the will to fight, but that is what children and love can do. Women are free to be liberal because they have nothing to lose when they are alone, in the short or long run. When they have a family, a home, a husband who loves them, that's when they turn a corner. Guided, and taught, the love can be... trained. Ask God about lethal love, innit?
I don't need to get the garbage bin out, but if it had been recycling day I would have taken that out. I did check, but it doesn't look like the neighbors have that bin out. So, next week, if I can remember. I received a call from the V.A. It seems my a1c is elevated, so a new order came through. Hmm, I best check on insulin, however, as I am pretty much out. My doc said she would wait for the a1c results before deciding what to send. I have heard nothing since. I meant to check with the women with whom I was speaking, but she distracted me with a few other issues and then it was lost. I'll call the pharmacy shortly.
There are so many little tasks I keep meaning to do. And, I keep forgetting to do them. I may explore the tasks section of my phone. I am using the calendar just swell. I might as well figure out and beginning using the rest of the phone's capabilities. I just don't want it to begin ruling my life, either. No worries, I know how to deal with busybody tech, mostly.
Later.
.
Perhaps. Though, if I enjoy a bit too much corned beef and cabbage, that might change the tune. It is almost ready. In 15 minutes I will add cabbage, and let that cook for about another 15 minutes, then done. I did hold off on the carrots, putting them in just now. An half hour should be plenty, and they will retain some of their bite. While cooking, I finally finished the last, I think, of the Hannibal Lector series, for me anyway. I am not sure I watched them in order. Hannibal Rising, I believe it was. A free view for Amazon Prime members. Finally, I see his driving factors. While it may seem to be one thing, it rarely is. Though, a few darker moments and notions can... color things much more harshly in the totality.
It's sort of strange though, to know, finally, what made a movie anti-hero... and yet not know my own story. Not all of it. Not, probably, the half of it at the most. After watching the show, I do realize why the mind might keep some things secret, keep them safe. At least I know, anything I have left is, has been, blessed. I think most of the problems have already been handled, and are behind me. Some can never quite escape what they have become, some are called away. If lucky, they follow the voice. I am a lucky man. It's fragile though, I won't allow some things to ever be revisited. Not while I draw breath. Not in my presence.
I was thinking, though, that should I find a wife, I will teach her some things. No, gently you fool. While a woman cannot defeat a warrior, she can surprise him and escape peril. I can teach a woman much. Enough, perhaps, for a chance. Just in case her firearms are out of reach, for some reason. I can't give her the will to fight, but that is what children and love can do. Women are free to be liberal because they have nothing to lose when they are alone, in the short or long run. When they have a family, a home, a husband who loves them, that's when they turn a corner. Guided, and taught, the love can be... trained. Ask God about lethal love, innit?
I don't need to get the garbage bin out, but if it had been recycling day I would have taken that out. I did check, but it doesn't look like the neighbors have that bin out. So, next week, if I can remember. I received a call from the V.A. It seems my a1c is elevated, so a new order came through. Hmm, I best check on insulin, however, as I am pretty much out. My doc said she would wait for the a1c results before deciding what to send. I have heard nothing since. I meant to check with the women with whom I was speaking, but she distracted me with a few other issues and then it was lost. I'll call the pharmacy shortly.
There are so many little tasks I keep meaning to do. And, I keep forgetting to do them. I may explore the tasks section of my phone. I am using the calendar just swell. I might as well figure out and beginning using the rest of the phone's capabilities. I just don't want it to begin ruling my life, either. No worries, I know how to deal with busybody tech, mostly.
Later.
Sleep never happened but...
.
.
It's all good. It's 7:45 and I am up and at it still. Actually going pretty strong. If I need a nap, I'll take one at about noon. As is, I am cooking a corned beef. There is about three and an half hours to go on that, with potatoes going in at the last hour mark, and carrots, then cabbage for the last 15 minutes. Hmm, might do carrots at that last half hour mark? Yeah.
It is nice to have soda around, for when I don't feel like making coffee. Splenda sweetened, with lemon flavor, to through off the horrible taste. I did grab a bit of regular soda, for a treat, should I not make it to town for a while. A couple of cans of regular a few times a week, just to say I did. And, actually, that helps my blood sugar stay lower, usually. Nothing really works for regularity, but no sugar does hurt the levels. You gotta do what you gotta do and the meters don't lie. If they skewed one way, they would do that always. It's just the way it is.
I did place a minor order. Bug spray and a pump sprayer, a new forward grip for the ak, an mechanical altimeter (barometer based, so there is some... play in it), a better compass, a mildot master (a card with shooting particulars and mechanical inclinometer (by which to check the angle of a shot)), and a few other odds and ends. Just trying to get some of the smaller items out of the way as regards getting more serious about shooting. As well, I found free maps to pull down from USGS, at least to review. I have a few areas I would like to hike, pretty much areas I shoot. But I want to make sure the maps will work for my needs. If so, I may order them, or try to find them locally, in weathertight conditions. I just need to look them over closely, to make sure they offer enough coverage for my applications, and to begin land nav training. Who knows, but... that's the idea.
The rest of today? No clue. But while I am still going, I may try to do a few other things. Perhaps a spot of laundry. Maybe sweeping and vacuuming finally. I might get to the few dishes as soon as lunch is prepared. Just... things to do. My recent blogging seems to have chased off some folk. That's fine, I don't write for readership, as I have mentioned. I simply have lost all patience with the feelings of people as they try to rob, murder, and denigrate. And I simply won't be quiet about it one second longer. Don't like it, doesn't matter, as I suggested. You are voting for the fix, especially if you think you aren't. I now understand why God doesn't worry to much. Rabbit... circle... *thump* If need be. He knows where everything, and everyone is, knows our path, and can wait, or not, at His will. He just suggests, those of us who believe in truth, that we not be quiet, even at great cost. So... *sing*
Hmm, yeah... I'm going to... browse, or view, or read, or... something. Later.
.
It's all good. It's 7:45 and I am up and at it still. Actually going pretty strong. If I need a nap, I'll take one at about noon. As is, I am cooking a corned beef. There is about three and an half hours to go on that, with potatoes going in at the last hour mark, and carrots, then cabbage for the last 15 minutes. Hmm, might do carrots at that last half hour mark? Yeah.
It is nice to have soda around, for when I don't feel like making coffee. Splenda sweetened, with lemon flavor, to through off the horrible taste. I did grab a bit of regular soda, for a treat, should I not make it to town for a while. A couple of cans of regular a few times a week, just to say I did. And, actually, that helps my blood sugar stay lower, usually. Nothing really works for regularity, but no sugar does hurt the levels. You gotta do what you gotta do and the meters don't lie. If they skewed one way, they would do that always. It's just the way it is.
I did place a minor order. Bug spray and a pump sprayer, a new forward grip for the ak, an mechanical altimeter (barometer based, so there is some... play in it), a better compass, a mildot master (a card with shooting particulars and mechanical inclinometer (by which to check the angle of a shot)), and a few other odds and ends. Just trying to get some of the smaller items out of the way as regards getting more serious about shooting. As well, I found free maps to pull down from USGS, at least to review. I have a few areas I would like to hike, pretty much areas I shoot. But I want to make sure the maps will work for my needs. If so, I may order them, or try to find them locally, in weathertight conditions. I just need to look them over closely, to make sure they offer enough coverage for my applications, and to begin land nav training. Who knows, but... that's the idea.
The rest of today? No clue. But while I am still going, I may try to do a few other things. Perhaps a spot of laundry. Maybe sweeping and vacuuming finally. I might get to the few dishes as soon as lunch is prepared. Just... things to do. My recent blogging seems to have chased off some folk. That's fine, I don't write for readership, as I have mentioned. I simply have lost all patience with the feelings of people as they try to rob, murder, and denigrate. And I simply won't be quiet about it one second longer. Don't like it, doesn't matter, as I suggested. You are voting for the fix, especially if you think you aren't. I now understand why God doesn't worry to much. Rabbit... circle... *thump* If need be. He knows where everything, and everyone is, knows our path, and can wait, or not, at His will. He just suggests, those of us who believe in truth, that we not be quiet, even at great cost. So... *sing*
Hmm, yeah... I'm going to... browse, or view, or read, or... something. Later.
Now that I have gotten my feet wet...
.
.
Now that I have seen what Win 8 is about, and installed Stardock's Start 8 and have operated within that to a degree, I decided to dig just a bit deeper. Digging beforehand, without applicable experience, was simply producing information overload. Ten thousand questions without a basis in which to answer the questions or begin exploring solutions is less than useless. Now I have ten thousands questions moderately answered, which... opened up a hundred thousand questions, but with a grounding from which to begin solving. And so, since I am still awake, I began answering those.
I met a gentleman this evening. And in discussing various matters, he suggested another program, free, I think it was called Win Shell, or... such. I haven't looked that up. Yet. At least now, if I remember the name, I can dig into it. However, I think it would have to be very good, and much better than Start 8, for me to choose it. Still, worth a look. Then again, Start 8 is only ~$5. And if my friend doesn't want to buy it... or maybe I'll just buy it while he isn't looking. While free is free, $5 isn't even a meal or a magazine, not even .22 anymore. Bleh.
There is an advanced set of tools with Start 8, but that runs ~$50. I finally looked those over. Now, for me, I might pull that trigger. There are some advanced options I know enough about to appreciate. I like optimizing and some other things. My friend would have no real use. He is not like an ogre, multi-layered... like an onion. Although, the device that allows a sense of movement in the screen art might... Well, not for $50, probably. Unless I could get Brenda Lee jiggling up there or something. Yeah, he was a bad boy too, at one time. I think. Just thought I'd toss that out there. And, reminding, I still haven't looked over win-shell, or whatever. I'll look for that after writing this.
The more I have looked at Start 8, the more I am impressed. I see where I was going wrong, if I am not quite sure how to transition back from Win 8's nasty start screen to a windowed environment. However, Start 8 offers modifications that don't allow a jump to Win 8's screen to start with. Shutting off charms, even disabling the function of the windows key.
One of my huge problems with Win 8, and it's start page, is that multitasking is a pain in the butt. Trying to check mail, while installing drivers, and doing a search on something else, all at once, is more than annoying. Actually, it's not really possible from what I could tell. Oh, it happens, but getting from one screen to the other is madness. Even with a touch screen it would be annoying. What, did MS buy into touch-screen futures? I think they will lose their shirts, and the pc market shares. I would, if my friend were a bit younger and more computer savvy to start, try to dig into Linux or BSD-Open/Free/etc., just for him. As is, if I do that, it will be just for me. I think my friend may be stuck with MS at this point in his life. However, he doesn't have to just take the modernist crap, with a little help.
If I do decide to get a new machine, though, and can't get it with Win 7, I don't feel quite as against it now. I still worry, a bit, about support issues, update problems, and some other things. But, then, with or without even MS, that will always be an issue. Separating out what MS is doing poorly and what is just a grump of life is an issue I won't get into, I have more serious ones to deal with. However, I do know what I like, and I do know what I don't like. That part is simple and I don't like Win 8, stock. I'll leave that for the fools who finger-paint with their dinner, eat glue and lead paint, have nothing to do in a hurry and wouldn't know how, and enjoy a fine drool when thinking. Bleh. *chuckles*
I may not be genius, but given a little task, a few inputs and advice, and doing a little leg or finger work, I can get a few things sorted, still. Today is Monday, so... tomorrow... But I will be ready. And, on whatever is there, I now know how to target specific things, have some goals about installs (FireFox and possibly their email system), perhaps some screen art for the windowed version, making sure the printer is working and figure that out otherwise, and some other things. Hey, it's something to do and someone actually appreciates it, finding my small abilities useful. All good.
Hmm... Later, or good night again.
-------
Okay, a bit of a quick review leaves me where I started, at least for my friend. Start 8 will be kept and used. However, for my own purposes, I might go with Classic Shell. I don't mind a little bit of digging into tech, whereas I want things as simple as possible for my friend. Here is a post which describes the differences. The other thing, too, is that I won't have my friends computer for hours, or days, in order to set up. So... the ease of Start 8 makes my task of setting the thing up fast much more predictably functional. Any problems and I should be able to reconfig without an issue.
.
Now that I have seen what Win 8 is about, and installed Stardock's Start 8 and have operated within that to a degree, I decided to dig just a bit deeper. Digging beforehand, without applicable experience, was simply producing information overload. Ten thousand questions without a basis in which to answer the questions or begin exploring solutions is less than useless. Now I have ten thousands questions moderately answered, which... opened up a hundred thousand questions, but with a grounding from which to begin solving. And so, since I am still awake, I began answering those.
I met a gentleman this evening. And in discussing various matters, he suggested another program, free, I think it was called Win Shell, or... such. I haven't looked that up. Yet. At least now, if I remember the name, I can dig into it. However, I think it would have to be very good, and much better than Start 8, for me to choose it. Still, worth a look. Then again, Start 8 is only ~$5. And if my friend doesn't want to buy it... or maybe I'll just buy it while he isn't looking. While free is free, $5 isn't even a meal or a magazine, not even .22 anymore. Bleh.
There is an advanced set of tools with Start 8, but that runs ~$50. I finally looked those over. Now, for me, I might pull that trigger. There are some advanced options I know enough about to appreciate. I like optimizing and some other things. My friend would have no real use. He is not like an ogre, multi-layered... like an onion. Although, the device that allows a sense of movement in the screen art might... Well, not for $50, probably. Unless I could get Brenda Lee jiggling up there or something. Yeah, he was a bad boy too, at one time. I think. Just thought I'd toss that out there. And, reminding, I still haven't looked over win-shell, or whatever. I'll look for that after writing this.
The more I have looked at Start 8, the more I am impressed. I see where I was going wrong, if I am not quite sure how to transition back from Win 8's nasty start screen to a windowed environment. However, Start 8 offers modifications that don't allow a jump to Win 8's screen to start with. Shutting off charms, even disabling the function of the windows key.
One of my huge problems with Win 8, and it's start page, is that multitasking is a pain in the butt. Trying to check mail, while installing drivers, and doing a search on something else, all at once, is more than annoying. Actually, it's not really possible from what I could tell. Oh, it happens, but getting from one screen to the other is madness. Even with a touch screen it would be annoying. What, did MS buy into touch-screen futures? I think they will lose their shirts, and the pc market shares. I would, if my friend were a bit younger and more computer savvy to start, try to dig into Linux or BSD-Open/Free/etc., just for him. As is, if I do that, it will be just for me. I think my friend may be stuck with MS at this point in his life. However, he doesn't have to just take the modernist crap, with a little help.
If I do decide to get a new machine, though, and can't get it with Win 7, I don't feel quite as against it now. I still worry, a bit, about support issues, update problems, and some other things. But, then, with or without even MS, that will always be an issue. Separating out what MS is doing poorly and what is just a grump of life is an issue I won't get into, I have more serious ones to deal with. However, I do know what I like, and I do know what I don't like. That part is simple and I don't like Win 8, stock. I'll leave that for the fools who finger-paint with their dinner, eat glue and lead paint, have nothing to do in a hurry and wouldn't know how, and enjoy a fine drool when thinking. Bleh. *chuckles*
I may not be genius, but given a little task, a few inputs and advice, and doing a little leg or finger work, I can get a few things sorted, still. Today is Monday, so... tomorrow... But I will be ready. And, on whatever is there, I now know how to target specific things, have some goals about installs (FireFox and possibly their email system), perhaps some screen art for the windowed version, making sure the printer is working and figure that out otherwise, and some other things. Hey, it's something to do and someone actually appreciates it, finding my small abilities useful. All good.
Hmm... Later, or good night again.
-------
Okay, a bit of a quick review leaves me where I started, at least for my friend. Start 8 will be kept and used. However, for my own purposes, I might go with Classic Shell. I don't mind a little bit of digging into tech, whereas I want things as simple as possible for my friend. Here is a post which describes the differences. The other thing, too, is that I won't have my friends computer for hours, or days, in order to set up. So... the ease of Start 8 makes my task of setting the thing up fast much more predictably functional. Any problems and I should be able to reconfig without an issue.
Yeah, for some reason I woke.
.
.
In the middle of the night. Too hot. Whatever. I'll try to get back to bed, if I can. It may just be that the weather is simply too warm for me. Coming into spring and all.
.
In the middle of the night. Too hot. Whatever. I'll try to get back to bed, if I can. It may just be that the weather is simply too warm for me. Coming into spring and all.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Zapped, but...
.
.
I'm going to try and push it a few more hours. If I can make it to 20:00, anyway, I can go to bed somewhat satisfied. Turning night into day would probably have even taxed Moses and Samson! I won't be getting trash out tonight, but I will probably be waking early enough to get it out when I wake. Just don't have anything in the bag to pull out and burn. Still, I'm happy with the trick I pulled, just not all of the consequences. Merely, on balance, with foreknowledge, I made a choice and was able to pull it off... so far. Who says anyone is going to like anything about even a success? Not moi, or even Moi, probably. I like that gal.
Anyway. Perhaps a bit of gaming? Research? I dunno. I can't think all that well. Oh, but bedtime medicine. I've been keeping up on it, but I wouldn't say it is easier. I am just remembering to remember since I don't want to slip too often or for too long. Bleh.
Good night.
.
I'm going to try and push it a few more hours. If I can make it to 20:00, anyway, I can go to bed somewhat satisfied. Turning night into day would probably have even taxed Moses and Samson! I won't be getting trash out tonight, but I will probably be waking early enough to get it out when I wake. Just don't have anything in the bag to pull out and burn. Still, I'm happy with the trick I pulled, just not all of the consequences. Merely, on balance, with foreknowledge, I made a choice and was able to pull it off... so far. Who says anyone is going to like anything about even a success? Not moi, or even Moi, probably. I like that gal.
Anyway. Perhaps a bit of gaming? Research? I dunno. I can't think all that well. Oh, but bedtime medicine. I've been keeping up on it, but I wouldn't say it is easier. I am just remembering to remember since I don't want to slip too often or for too long. Bleh.
Good night.
Nap indeed.
.
.
I am not sure this one did much good, and I rode the alarm, almost hitting snooze. No getting out of bed before the alarm was possible. Then again, I just literally flipped my schedule 180 degrees, and in the shade. The sun just isn't playing nice. A good thing, sort of. It is already in the high 40s and low 50s for highs. The sun would make it hot, or too hot for my immediate tastes as I am coming out of hibernation. My friend suggested that we have a week or more of sun coming up. Bleh. But that might get me moving.
How does a barely alive creature even have the capacity to complain about things he shouldn't really be able to sense? I still think the Navy realized it was the heart, and how bad it was, but didn't think I'd live very long so just didn't care. One less meat pile to serve. When the V.A. got me, since I hadn't been properly diagnosed, they simply kept me on as an experiment. They make more, in study grants, for specific cases possibly, than what I cost them a year. Business. That is one possibility. I am not sure which of the possibilities is worse though. But they all dive to the bottom as fast as quota-folk.
I may cook a solid meal tonight. Most of my dishes are done, so... The cave is still messy, but that is just the way it goes. And it will probably stay that way until conditions improve, change, or more both, probably. It's just haggard, it isn't... terrible. Mostly. Later.
.
I am not sure this one did much good, and I rode the alarm, almost hitting snooze. No getting out of bed before the alarm was possible. Then again, I just literally flipped my schedule 180 degrees, and in the shade. The sun just isn't playing nice. A good thing, sort of. It is already in the high 40s and low 50s for highs. The sun would make it hot, or too hot for my immediate tastes as I am coming out of hibernation. My friend suggested that we have a week or more of sun coming up. Bleh. But that might get me moving.
How does a barely alive creature even have the capacity to complain about things he shouldn't really be able to sense? I still think the Navy realized it was the heart, and how bad it was, but didn't think I'd live very long so just didn't care. One less meat pile to serve. When the V.A. got me, since I hadn't been properly diagnosed, they simply kept me on as an experiment. They make more, in study grants, for specific cases possibly, than what I cost them a year. Business. That is one possibility. I am not sure which of the possibilities is worse though. But they all dive to the bottom as fast as quota-folk.
I may cook a solid meal tonight. Most of my dishes are done, so... The cave is still messy, but that is just the way it goes. And it will probably stay that way until conditions improve, change, or more both, probably. It's just haggard, it isn't... terrible. Mostly. Later.
Sleep was great.
.
.
I suppose. I laid down, stretched out, and was preparing for my night struggle to find sleep. I rolled over, rolled back, heard the girls banging on the door, and checked the time. Brain was a little loose in it's socket so exactitude was not to be had. Somewhere a little before or after... 5:00? Yep. I had to think about whether I should get up. A quick system check said everything was in order. I was rested, comfy, and actually done with the bed. So... out of bed I went.
I set the alarm on the stove, after morning duties, for an hour and an half. I'll feed the girls then. And take my medicine. I ground fresh beans and put a pot of coffee on to cook. Hmm, that should be done. Might take my medicines right now, since I am thinking about it. Blog check in, then I'll check my mail, next I will... I don't know! News?
Yesterday started out with a bloody nose, when I was taking my morning shower, and ended in a bloody nose. A few drops on one of my new colored t's, that last time. I put detergent on it, and soaked it in cold water over night. Yeah, I might get to some laundry this morning. Hmm... maybe some other things. I've been pretty lame lately. I'd like to try to get back up on the horse, and maybe dig deeper than last time. I do think it was the dark rainy spell that sort of sent me into a tailspin. It'll do that. Good weather, as my friend suggested, for a murder. Speaking of which, as I was driving, right in the middle of traffic, as it slowed, I had a raven come right down in traffic, beside me in a sometimes busy turn lane, walk right over to my vehicle and look up to me, and kaw a few times. I have a history with these creatures, so it shook me just a bit. I mentioned it to my friend. I've told him of this before.
You just don't understand what it means to dance with death, and to have... some... things of this world which relate to that. Death is a cold, flat, icky place, at least for the bits as you are sliding into it, fading from here to there. You will learn, but probably only once in your life. You will be thankful for that. All that came back, for a moment, with the member of the murder calling my name in it's tongue. Never to worry, seems to have just been... a call to humility, or a reminder of the bitter sweet, or some such, not an omen.
I could tell you of other things that happened yesterday, but... Some of my little and big joys, and funny things that happen, are just mine. Oh... Doom is known, and heard. I will say that much. But too, a lion is known from and by hyenas. Some people are having to suck on the sour of wisdom. You can have gold, but you have to go looking, dig, then pick, all the while making sure to tend the structure, while praying for blessings and mercy. Any other way is... the road to the only promise I have ever been able to keep. But the children do believe, they just want so hard to hate it, but can't quite seem to carry the courage of their convictions in a face to face. Yum! Do not think it is idle, what is suggested.
.
I suppose. I laid down, stretched out, and was preparing for my night struggle to find sleep. I rolled over, rolled back, heard the girls banging on the door, and checked the time. Brain was a little loose in it's socket so exactitude was not to be had. Somewhere a little before or after... 5:00? Yep. I had to think about whether I should get up. A quick system check said everything was in order. I was rested, comfy, and actually done with the bed. So... out of bed I went.
I set the alarm on the stove, after morning duties, for an hour and an half. I'll feed the girls then. And take my medicine. I ground fresh beans and put a pot of coffee on to cook. Hmm, that should be done. Might take my medicines right now, since I am thinking about it. Blog check in, then I'll check my mail, next I will... I don't know! News?
Yesterday started out with a bloody nose, when I was taking my morning shower, and ended in a bloody nose. A few drops on one of my new colored t's, that last time. I put detergent on it, and soaked it in cold water over night. Yeah, I might get to some laundry this morning. Hmm... maybe some other things. I've been pretty lame lately. I'd like to try to get back up on the horse, and maybe dig deeper than last time. I do think it was the dark rainy spell that sort of sent me into a tailspin. It'll do that. Good weather, as my friend suggested, for a murder. Speaking of which, as I was driving, right in the middle of traffic, as it slowed, I had a raven come right down in traffic, beside me in a sometimes busy turn lane, walk right over to my vehicle and look up to me, and kaw a few times. I have a history with these creatures, so it shook me just a bit. I mentioned it to my friend. I've told him of this before.
You just don't understand what it means to dance with death, and to have... some... things of this world which relate to that. Death is a cold, flat, icky place, at least for the bits as you are sliding into it, fading from here to there. You will learn, but probably only once in your life. You will be thankful for that. All that came back, for a moment, with the member of the murder calling my name in it's tongue. Never to worry, seems to have just been... a call to humility, or a reminder of the bitter sweet, or some such, not an omen.
I could tell you of other things that happened yesterday, but... Some of my little and big joys, and funny things that happen, are just mine. Oh... Doom is known, and heard. I will say that much. But too, a lion is known from and by hyenas. Some people are having to suck on the sour of wisdom. You can have gold, but you have to go looking, dig, then pick, all the while making sure to tend the structure, while praying for blessings and mercy. Any other way is... the road to the only promise I have ever been able to keep. But the children do believe, they just want so hard to hate it, but can't quite seem to carry the courage of their convictions in a face to face. Yum! Do not think it is idle, what is suggested.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Wrestling with a new beast.
.
.
I did get the shower in. I did get ready. I then tried to call my friend, but his phone was still off. I went on into town and picked up a partial of my list at the first store. Tobacco, paper plates, garbage bags, and some of the other bits the store held. Back in the vehicle, I called my friend again. Yellow? Blue! No, but close enough. Sure he would be glad to have me visit and run around a bit. He just wanted time to have a smoke. I told him I would pick up my coffee. The line was long, the help wasn't fast, so I was a bit later. Still, he was glad I showed. One of his other friends had tried to help, to no good ends. Could I come in, for a bit, and see if I could... do something... anything?
Not a problem, that is part of what I meant to do anyway. Windows 8, or 8.1, or 8.x? This was my first jab at this new piece of junk MS was trying to shove down our throats. I have seen it, but never messed with it. Nor did I read anything about it. Junk is junk. I was a bit nervous about looking too much like a boob. Not that... well... a boob in the right perspective is a beautiful thing... But you know what I mean. I lit up the machine, gave him some advice about charging, and pulling the plug until the laptop says it's hungry. Then to work.
It was a bit disconcerting, as I knew it would be. I knew where nothing was, how well it was set up, or such. A good ten minutes figuring a few things out and then my friend said, what he really wanted, was to set up the printer. The disc was in the machine, if I could find the access to that. Okay, that wasn't how I had planned things. I had hoped to learn well enough to find the links Desert Cat proffered regarding Win 8 fixes. Still, I would try. Within moments I found how to access the dvd, and get the driver setup going. I couldn't remember if this was wi-fi enabled, so asked for the manual, and... nope. I asked if a cord had been packed with the machine. Only this... just an rj-11, or such... the phone cable, for faxes. Nothing else? Nope. Still, I did look through the box, just in case. The manual was useless and I wasn't into reading fine print to come up with nothing anyway. So I looked the printer over. Ah... a place for the cord, but no cord. Drivers installed, the system was just waiting for a way to talk to the printer. Off to Best Buy.
Cords were easily found. The system seemed to indicate that the cord was purely usb. I didn't trust the system. So, I opened a package and checked on the same printer as his that was in the store. Nope, not what the system indicated. My next try, what I would have guessed, was the right thing. As I was opening THAT package, help arrived, quickly and nearly breathlessly. Nothing like a huffing doll of a redhead to... ignore. Hey, it's how the game is played. Still, I did listen to her, a bit, even gave her a noncommitted head-to-toe and back visual review, as I finished unpacking and checking the second cord. Now I know how to get help quickly. The last four times I have been in the place I couldn't get help for asking for it. Simple, start opening packages. Wee! We paid for that and headed out. Lunch, my friend asked. Lunch indeed. We both... had our usual. I was able to eat it all this time. Plus my usual five glasses of tea. Nothing tastes better, or worse. It's just that I had room in my stomach, and used it. It's been a while since I have eaten, or been able to eat, strongly.
Back to his place. I fitted the cord, then finished setting up the printer. It said everything was good, so I went ahead and registered it. Oh, the printer we purchased, just a month ago, for $69 was up to $99. Just in time. I could not find a picture to print. And when I tried to print from a search engine, I was only given the option to save the photo, and something else just as useless. I did save a photo, but couldn't find where it had been saved. I looked in the titled photo area... nothing. Ah well, perhaps his sister, or his other friend, can help him check the printer. Or I will, next time I visit.
I then set about to hook him up with YouTube. I knew it would be very foreign, but knew how to draw him too it. What, I asked, is a song or movie you would like to see, from way back. Some war movie, about the flying fortresses, or some such. Boom. While YouTube suggested the full movie was in there, I could not find it. But... I wasn't going to stay to watch it. A song, I suggested. *blank* How about a dame you used to like? He asked if I had heard of Brenda Lee. Of course. I may have used her here, sometime long ago, or at least considered it. Not sure. He gave me a specific song to seek. I found it quickly, then played it. The speakers on the laptop aren't so good. I suggested we look for proper headsets when I visit next. He had some, earbud types. We tried those. While those are much better as to sound quality, they were still rather weak. Still, better is better. I think he enjoyed.
Then I tested his rock bona fides, and searched for and played Tales of Great Ulysses by Cream. He... may or may not have heard that song, or group. I just couldn't tell. Well, okay... White Rabbit, by Jefferson Airplane. Bingo. Watching Grace Slick, in her tender years, brought back... well... I think my friend actually went back in time. I think I touched a nerve, but a good one. He became a much younger man, right before my eyes. Booyeah. But... that was exactly what I was looking to develop. It's that... thing... that magic... that will draw someone past their fears and inhibitions about a tech, or a woman, or... whatever. I had fed him some other things, like perhaps there might be a documentary about his aircraft carrier. He is a Vietnam vet from the Navy. There might be things showing where those planes that left his deck went, what they did, and such. No promises, just a maybe. I also showed him the penguin baby showing joy at being tickled, and a confrontation between a younger bear and a pack of wolves, to give him some other examples of what was out there. Then, once I set the system up, I showed him how to find YouTube, canceled that out, and had him do it several more times. There aren't a lot of steps, but for someone who has spent a life and a half without having touched a keyboard, with the novelty and... natural fears, it is daunting.
I told him I would be back Monday, if not for him to call me. He suggested his sister will be there Monday, and then asked if Tuesday would be better. Sure enough. I will just go over some other things with him. I know how to check his email. Perhaps we can figure out the printer, and I can show him a few things about it. And I did get those Win 8 to 7 fixes on, temporarily. I would like to tinker with that and see how it works a bit more fundamentally. Sometimes, on some things, I could revert to windows frames, sometimes the option didn't appear. I'll try to figure that out and get it straight, then teach that. I was getting far too tired. Especially with the meal. I had to head out. Oh, but groceries!
I had done so well. Some dry goods, coffee, tobacco, but milk, cream, a few veggies, some fruit (saw blood oranges, yum (go figure)), some soda just to not be only drinking coffee, water, and milk... But could I do that? How to convince myself? Mc... What? Don... Hmm? McDonalds, you dolt. Go to the store, and McDonalds is on the way back out. Oh? Oh! You are a bastard! Yeah? But I'm YOUR bastard, innit? Yeah... *sigh* So, I made it to the store, and McDonalds. I was still full from lunch, but that didn't matter. Yum! I even picked up the mail on the way in. My 7.62x39 mag reloader was in, and fit in the box somehow. Those ladies are great.
Oh, and I have been up all day. About to die, but... Not... really die. Just pretty dead on my feet. I just have to come down a little, then I'll hit it, hard. And... set the alarm. I'll give myself ten hours, since I have been up a day and an half. More if I really need it. But, back up, early, if I can. I have already fed the girls twice, for their normal day. But, since I am up, and feeling generous, they got another dose of the yum stuff.
What a day. I am spent. Well worth it. I just hope I can get him ready to handle the brave new tech world he is just about to engage in. I think my Desert Cat's fixes will make it easier for his other friend to help, maybe, and his sister. Win 8 well and truly sucks. Never mind, deal with the hand you are dealt, which I did. And... better than I thought I could. Tight small keyboard, Win 8, no mouse when I was initially messing with it in the recliner... Don't complain, just do. Complain... later, or to someone who has a micro fiddle, or... you. :)
Oh, right, there is one more trick that helps people become natural computer users... The simple free games. As you are trying to get good at those silly things, your typing and mouse skills improve dramatically, automatically, without you having to think about them. Games were initially created just for fun, but some well thinking software engineer realized their worth to skill enhancement, which is why they are included with many OS's for free, I do believe. Yeah... maybe I can help him out, and turn him into a cyborg. There has to be an interest, if some of that will have to, initially, be... artificial. You... didn't think war was the only thing ol' Doom could teach, did you?
Good night.
.
I did get the shower in. I did get ready. I then tried to call my friend, but his phone was still off. I went on into town and picked up a partial of my list at the first store. Tobacco, paper plates, garbage bags, and some of the other bits the store held. Back in the vehicle, I called my friend again. Yellow? Blue! No, but close enough. Sure he would be glad to have me visit and run around a bit. He just wanted time to have a smoke. I told him I would pick up my coffee. The line was long, the help wasn't fast, so I was a bit later. Still, he was glad I showed. One of his other friends had tried to help, to no good ends. Could I come in, for a bit, and see if I could... do something... anything?
Not a problem, that is part of what I meant to do anyway. Windows 8, or 8.1, or 8.x? This was my first jab at this new piece of junk MS was trying to shove down our throats. I have seen it, but never messed with it. Nor did I read anything about it. Junk is junk. I was a bit nervous about looking too much like a boob. Not that... well... a boob in the right perspective is a beautiful thing... But you know what I mean. I lit up the machine, gave him some advice about charging, and pulling the plug until the laptop says it's hungry. Then to work.
It was a bit disconcerting, as I knew it would be. I knew where nothing was, how well it was set up, or such. A good ten minutes figuring a few things out and then my friend said, what he really wanted, was to set up the printer. The disc was in the machine, if I could find the access to that. Okay, that wasn't how I had planned things. I had hoped to learn well enough to find the links Desert Cat proffered regarding Win 8 fixes. Still, I would try. Within moments I found how to access the dvd, and get the driver setup going. I couldn't remember if this was wi-fi enabled, so asked for the manual, and... nope. I asked if a cord had been packed with the machine. Only this... just an rj-11, or such... the phone cable, for faxes. Nothing else? Nope. Still, I did look through the box, just in case. The manual was useless and I wasn't into reading fine print to come up with nothing anyway. So I looked the printer over. Ah... a place for the cord, but no cord. Drivers installed, the system was just waiting for a way to talk to the printer. Off to Best Buy.
Cords were easily found. The system seemed to indicate that the cord was purely usb. I didn't trust the system. So, I opened a package and checked on the same printer as his that was in the store. Nope, not what the system indicated. My next try, what I would have guessed, was the right thing. As I was opening THAT package, help arrived, quickly and nearly breathlessly. Nothing like a huffing doll of a redhead to... ignore. Hey, it's how the game is played. Still, I did listen to her, a bit, even gave her a noncommitted head-to-toe and back visual review, as I finished unpacking and checking the second cord. Now I know how to get help quickly. The last four times I have been in the place I couldn't get help for asking for it. Simple, start opening packages. Wee! We paid for that and headed out. Lunch, my friend asked. Lunch indeed. We both... had our usual. I was able to eat it all this time. Plus my usual five glasses of tea. Nothing tastes better, or worse. It's just that I had room in my stomach, and used it. It's been a while since I have eaten, or been able to eat, strongly.
Back to his place. I fitted the cord, then finished setting up the printer. It said everything was good, so I went ahead and registered it. Oh, the printer we purchased, just a month ago, for $69 was up to $99. Just in time. I could not find a picture to print. And when I tried to print from a search engine, I was only given the option to save the photo, and something else just as useless. I did save a photo, but couldn't find where it had been saved. I looked in the titled photo area... nothing. Ah well, perhaps his sister, or his other friend, can help him check the printer. Or I will, next time I visit.
I then set about to hook him up with YouTube. I knew it would be very foreign, but knew how to draw him too it. What, I asked, is a song or movie you would like to see, from way back. Some war movie, about the flying fortresses, or some such. Boom. While YouTube suggested the full movie was in there, I could not find it. But... I wasn't going to stay to watch it. A song, I suggested. *blank* How about a dame you used to like? He asked if I had heard of Brenda Lee. Of course. I may have used her here, sometime long ago, or at least considered it. Not sure. He gave me a specific song to seek. I found it quickly, then played it. The speakers on the laptop aren't so good. I suggested we look for proper headsets when I visit next. He had some, earbud types. We tried those. While those are much better as to sound quality, they were still rather weak. Still, better is better. I think he enjoyed.
Then I tested his rock bona fides, and searched for and played Tales of Great Ulysses by Cream. He... may or may not have heard that song, or group. I just couldn't tell. Well, okay... White Rabbit, by Jefferson Airplane. Bingo. Watching Grace Slick, in her tender years, brought back... well... I think my friend actually went back in time. I think I touched a nerve, but a good one. He became a much younger man, right before my eyes. Booyeah. But... that was exactly what I was looking to develop. It's that... thing... that magic... that will draw someone past their fears and inhibitions about a tech, or a woman, or... whatever. I had fed him some other things, like perhaps there might be a documentary about his aircraft carrier. He is a Vietnam vet from the Navy. There might be things showing where those planes that left his deck went, what they did, and such. No promises, just a maybe. I also showed him the penguin baby showing joy at being tickled, and a confrontation between a younger bear and a pack of wolves, to give him some other examples of what was out there. Then, once I set the system up, I showed him how to find YouTube, canceled that out, and had him do it several more times. There aren't a lot of steps, but for someone who has spent a life and a half without having touched a keyboard, with the novelty and... natural fears, it is daunting.
I told him I would be back Monday, if not for him to call me. He suggested his sister will be there Monday, and then asked if Tuesday would be better. Sure enough. I will just go over some other things with him. I know how to check his email. Perhaps we can figure out the printer, and I can show him a few things about it. And I did get those Win 8 to 7 fixes on, temporarily. I would like to tinker with that and see how it works a bit more fundamentally. Sometimes, on some things, I could revert to windows frames, sometimes the option didn't appear. I'll try to figure that out and get it straight, then teach that. I was getting far too tired. Especially with the meal. I had to head out. Oh, but groceries!
I had done so well. Some dry goods, coffee, tobacco, but milk, cream, a few veggies, some fruit (saw blood oranges, yum (go figure)), some soda just to not be only drinking coffee, water, and milk... But could I do that? How to convince myself? Mc... What? Don... Hmm? McDonalds, you dolt. Go to the store, and McDonalds is on the way back out. Oh? Oh! You are a bastard! Yeah? But I'm YOUR bastard, innit? Yeah... *sigh* So, I made it to the store, and McDonalds. I was still full from lunch, but that didn't matter. Yum! I even picked up the mail on the way in. My 7.62x39 mag reloader was in, and fit in the box somehow. Those ladies are great.
Oh, and I have been up all day. About to die, but... Not... really die. Just pretty dead on my feet. I just have to come down a little, then I'll hit it, hard. And... set the alarm. I'll give myself ten hours, since I have been up a day and an half. More if I really need it. But, back up, early, if I can. I have already fed the girls twice, for their normal day. But, since I am up, and feeling generous, they got another dose of the yum stuff.
What a day. I am spent. Well worth it. I just hope I can get him ready to handle the brave new tech world he is just about to engage in. I think my Desert Cat's fixes will make it easier for his other friend to help, maybe, and his sister. Win 8 well and truly sucks. Never mind, deal with the hand you are dealt, which I did. And... better than I thought I could. Tight small keyboard, Win 8, no mouse when I was initially messing with it in the recliner... Don't complain, just do. Complain... later, or to someone who has a micro fiddle, or... you. :)
Oh, right, there is one more trick that helps people become natural computer users... The simple free games. As you are trying to get good at those silly things, your typing and mouse skills improve dramatically, automatically, without you having to think about them. Games were initially created just for fun, but some well thinking software engineer realized their worth to skill enhancement, which is why they are included with many OS's for free, I do believe. Yeah... maybe I can help him out, and turn him into a cyborg. There has to be an interest, if some of that will have to, initially, be... artificial. You... didn't think war was the only thing ol' Doom could teach, did you?
Good night.
Okay, looks like a green light.
.
.
Unless that is a short range sniper using a green laser? Never mind. I do believe I have enough going to get a shower, clean up a bit on top of that, and get to town. I have no idea how much juice I have. The best thing, in this situation, is to move as fast as I can. I want to hit... one, two, three, and maybe four stores... Hmm... I might be able to consolidate two of those. Yes. Wait, there is still the coffee shop. Yeah, four stores. It's basically getting on to well past bedtime. Still... I think I'll make it.
Shopping, then a meal. Before I eat, though, I will call my friend and see if he wants to get out. That'll require me to dig a bit deeper, but... while I'm at it... if I can. Just to knock my shopping out of the way first, so I don't have that hanging over my head. Hmm, could show him my new scope and take-down iron sights. If he answers. I'll be just about calling him somewhere between 11:00 and noon, if I get the hustle on and push through the shopping slalom at speed.
Hmm, I am curious how is machine is running and if he needs anything that way anyway. My turn to take him to lunch. But where to go! Never know. Never mind, food takes care of itself. I best get going. Later.
.
Unless that is a short range sniper using a green laser? Never mind. I do believe I have enough going to get a shower, clean up a bit on top of that, and get to town. I have no idea how much juice I have. The best thing, in this situation, is to move as fast as I can. I want to hit... one, two, three, and maybe four stores... Hmm... I might be able to consolidate two of those. Yes. Wait, there is still the coffee shop. Yeah, four stores. It's basically getting on to well past bedtime. Still... I think I'll make it.
Shopping, then a meal. Before I eat, though, I will call my friend and see if he wants to get out. That'll require me to dig a bit deeper, but... while I'm at it... if I can. Just to knock my shopping out of the way first, so I don't have that hanging over my head. Hmm, could show him my new scope and take-down iron sights. If he answers. I'll be just about calling him somewhere between 11:00 and noon, if I get the hustle on and push through the shopping slalom at speed.
Hmm, I am curious how is machine is running and if he needs anything that way anyway. My turn to take him to lunch. But where to go! Never know. Never mind, food takes care of itself. I best get going. Later.
Days and nights are almost perfectly inverted.
.
.
There has been little movement in several days. I am out of coffee, but I saw it coming this whole week, so much so that I regulated my usage, hoping I would alter my schedule so as to push my schedule around enough to make it into town at a time the coffee shop would be open. It's a specialty shop, so... I guess I have made it later in the morning a few times, but have always been too tired, then, to take advantage of it. I am running out of a lot of things. The goal is to make it into town today. Well, that is the goal again, again, again, again...
My sleep has been decent. But something is just off. Food has not been digesting, as I had suggested. I have a lump of food, it seems, feeling like the remnants of my few meals for the week. Oh, I'll fix that too. One meal at McDonalds is almost as good as half a cabbage at... well... draining the swamp. Further, taking my medication regularly has taken a hit. It's a short term, I hope, system shut down. It has been raining... for a while now. Days, but I can't tell how many. At least the last three nights, perhaps more. It is, actually, quite a lovely thing. And we do need the water. Between nights and rain, though, the sun has not been a part of the equation, which doesn't help. It is cool, but not what I would call cold. If it is warm enough to rain, it just isn't cold. That, too, is probably part of the mix. Rain weather is, really, a bit warm for my blood, at least coming out of winter, until I acclimate again. Bleh.
Never mind, I'll keep plugging away, fixing what I can, trying to push were possible, restarting meds when I inadvertently drop them, and so on. It's just the way it happens sometimes. Oh, but I have been keeping up on the girls. Litter, food, water, hard food, attention. They keep some part of me in the flesh. It's a pain, at times, but they are worth the effort. And that is good for me. I can only imagine what kids and a wife do. Nutses! :)
Oh, with warmer weather I have been inundated with boxelder bugs. I have some other problems as well. To that end I did a bit of research regarding problem solvers. I mostly worry about the girls, I can handle such things. I found what I can use, various forms, and did a little bit of deeper research and have decided on the solution. The next time I am in town I will look for it. There is a decent chance local stores don't carry it, but I have found a source if local buying fails, or proves prohibitively expensive. I'll try the entryway, first. If that doesn't work, I'll have to hit several parts of the cave, but the girls will have to go out and play until it dries, three hours and change, or that is what I have read.
Well... 7:11 eh? No, the time. I might just make it to town. Ugh. Later.
.
There has been little movement in several days. I am out of coffee, but I saw it coming this whole week, so much so that I regulated my usage, hoping I would alter my schedule so as to push my schedule around enough to make it into town at a time the coffee shop would be open. It's a specialty shop, so... I guess I have made it later in the morning a few times, but have always been too tired, then, to take advantage of it. I am running out of a lot of things. The goal is to make it into town today. Well, that is the goal again, again, again, again...
My sleep has been decent. But something is just off. Food has not been digesting, as I had suggested. I have a lump of food, it seems, feeling like the remnants of my few meals for the week. Oh, I'll fix that too. One meal at McDonalds is almost as good as half a cabbage at... well... draining the swamp. Further, taking my medication regularly has taken a hit. It's a short term, I hope, system shut down. It has been raining... for a while now. Days, but I can't tell how many. At least the last three nights, perhaps more. It is, actually, quite a lovely thing. And we do need the water. Between nights and rain, though, the sun has not been a part of the equation, which doesn't help. It is cool, but not what I would call cold. If it is warm enough to rain, it just isn't cold. That, too, is probably part of the mix. Rain weather is, really, a bit warm for my blood, at least coming out of winter, until I acclimate again. Bleh.
Never mind, I'll keep plugging away, fixing what I can, trying to push were possible, restarting meds when I inadvertently drop them, and so on. It's just the way it happens sometimes. Oh, but I have been keeping up on the girls. Litter, food, water, hard food, attention. They keep some part of me in the flesh. It's a pain, at times, but they are worth the effort. And that is good for me. I can only imagine what kids and a wife do. Nutses! :)
Oh, with warmer weather I have been inundated with boxelder bugs. I have some other problems as well. To that end I did a bit of research regarding problem solvers. I mostly worry about the girls, I can handle such things. I found what I can use, various forms, and did a little bit of deeper research and have decided on the solution. The next time I am in town I will look for it. There is a decent chance local stores don't carry it, but I have found a source if local buying fails, or proves prohibitively expensive. I'll try the entryway, first. If that doesn't work, I'll have to hit several parts of the cave, but the girls will have to go out and play until it dries, three hours and change, or that is what I have read.
Well... 7:11 eh? No, the time. I might just make it to town. Ugh. Later.
Why, Doom? Why do you hate?
.
.
Hate? My turn to do some laughing.
I don't hate. It, beyond being against the nature of my Lord, is very bad business. I'm not even IN business, but I am very much a believer in economic realities. I believe in the principle of people offering coin from the sweat of their brow for goods, services, and properties. Choices, with some regards to fairness, both implied and unspoken, are how life really works best. Actually, free-market economies that are raised to a level of reasonable expectations fall perfectly in line with my notions regarding faith. They are two legs of the human triangle, the third being non-economic social relations.
My notions regarding, for example, advanced education, is not based on biases. It is based on seeing education not as a right, but as a product, an investment, a cost. Now, given that something is seen in this light, who should receive it, and what should be expected of those who receive it? More so with government involvement, transferring money that could be spent on other things into the pool to allow education for more people, many of whom are simply not competent to receive it. The expectation is that any expenditure result in a net gain. For the individual, for society, and even for the government through increased tax revenues. If it does not do that, then it either becomes an expense that prevents other, positive, goods and services from being presented, or it has to be ended. And much of the education dollars that go to people who never end up producing the cost of their education has become a drain on society. That actually starts with public education, where the schools are forced to educate children who are forced to be there. It is unsustainable, illogical, and impractical.
The simple notion, that one has to understand, is that, in America, right now, we are living large. We live as if we have an endless supply of gold, cheap enough labor to make that profitable, and an endless supply of gold buyers. The truth is, we have none of those things. Before we started buying our own debt (in laymen terms, that is writing our own checks to ourselves, then cashing them, somehow), we were borrowing 41 cents per dollar spent, from China. China doesn't want to buy our worthless checks anymore, so we have, as noted, started buying our own debt, somehow. Oh, and printing more of them to buy from ourselves, as well as handing those out to political cronies for companies that go bankrupt. Now, when this catches up with us, we will have some very limited choices. They will not include educating everybody and to no good end. Education, will, again, become a commodity, as it really should be. How many women are paying for an education they never used in such a way as to pay society back through tax base increases? While, if they are having children and raising them, they have done a far better thing, the cost they incurred is now irrecoverable in a timely fashion. They could have had children without incurring a cost on society. How many women are single, pursuing a dead-end career, or even the few in successful careers, having surrendered having a family, while a million aliens a year, legally and who knows how many illegally, are flooding our borders taking up the lower level employment slop and changing our demographics and politics? Seriously?
Every ill we have going on now, in society, in government, in economics, is an attempt to avoid the facts that we are not rich enough to actually live the way we do. With every new notion, such as gay marriage, being either a distraction, or an attempt to disrupt the natural course of things to attempt to keep the fiction we live alive. The longer we dig, the harder we push, the farther we get into it, the worse the eventual outcome. Something has to give, and it will. For those who are completely vested in having a good, bloodless, nice life, with no costs or doubts or fears or truth? Oh, this is going to hurt. If you want to see how bad, simply cut electricity off to a major city for a week, without telling them it is coming or when it will come back on. *blink* And... it is coming.
So, as to hate? None here. Just an understanding of the economic and social factors that are, and have been, true to man, since he bit the forbidden fruit. It's just the way it is. There are two ways to deal with it. As practically, judicially, logically, and morally as is possible, or by mob rule... i.e. socialism and communism. Those are, really, the two choices. Neither are completely fair. There will be losers and winners, though in the former the games are based on who is fastest, smartest, best and in the latter the outcomes are based on who has the guns. Simple choices. Socialism will guarantee, for those who can choke it down, aren't butchered because they aren't willing to go along with it, and aren't murdered as an example of who has the guns, a small life based on social, political, and economic rules by the rich is guaranteed... as long as they obey... whatever the rules say. In that sense, I suppose, it is safer. But it will never be utopia. There is no such thing, here on earth, now.
Just... clearing some things. It's a... hobby of mine.
.
Hate? My turn to do some laughing.
I don't hate. It, beyond being against the nature of my Lord, is very bad business. I'm not even IN business, but I am very much a believer in economic realities. I believe in the principle of people offering coin from the sweat of their brow for goods, services, and properties. Choices, with some regards to fairness, both implied and unspoken, are how life really works best. Actually, free-market economies that are raised to a level of reasonable expectations fall perfectly in line with my notions regarding faith. They are two legs of the human triangle, the third being non-economic social relations.
My notions regarding, for example, advanced education, is not based on biases. It is based on seeing education not as a right, but as a product, an investment, a cost. Now, given that something is seen in this light, who should receive it, and what should be expected of those who receive it? More so with government involvement, transferring money that could be spent on other things into the pool to allow education for more people, many of whom are simply not competent to receive it. The expectation is that any expenditure result in a net gain. For the individual, for society, and even for the government through increased tax revenues. If it does not do that, then it either becomes an expense that prevents other, positive, goods and services from being presented, or it has to be ended. And much of the education dollars that go to people who never end up producing the cost of their education has become a drain on society. That actually starts with public education, where the schools are forced to educate children who are forced to be there. It is unsustainable, illogical, and impractical.
The simple notion, that one has to understand, is that, in America, right now, we are living large. We live as if we have an endless supply of gold, cheap enough labor to make that profitable, and an endless supply of gold buyers. The truth is, we have none of those things. Before we started buying our own debt (in laymen terms, that is writing our own checks to ourselves, then cashing them, somehow), we were borrowing 41 cents per dollar spent, from China. China doesn't want to buy our worthless checks anymore, so we have, as noted, started buying our own debt, somehow. Oh, and printing more of them to buy from ourselves, as well as handing those out to political cronies for companies that go bankrupt. Now, when this catches up with us, we will have some very limited choices. They will not include educating everybody and to no good end. Education, will, again, become a commodity, as it really should be. How many women are paying for an education they never used in such a way as to pay society back through tax base increases? While, if they are having children and raising them, they have done a far better thing, the cost they incurred is now irrecoverable in a timely fashion. They could have had children without incurring a cost on society. How many women are single, pursuing a dead-end career, or even the few in successful careers, having surrendered having a family, while a million aliens a year, legally and who knows how many illegally, are flooding our borders taking up the lower level employment slop and changing our demographics and politics? Seriously?
Every ill we have going on now, in society, in government, in economics, is an attempt to avoid the facts that we are not rich enough to actually live the way we do. With every new notion, such as gay marriage, being either a distraction, or an attempt to disrupt the natural course of things to attempt to keep the fiction we live alive. The longer we dig, the harder we push, the farther we get into it, the worse the eventual outcome. Something has to give, and it will. For those who are completely vested in having a good, bloodless, nice life, with no costs or doubts or fears or truth? Oh, this is going to hurt. If you want to see how bad, simply cut electricity off to a major city for a week, without telling them it is coming or when it will come back on. *blink* And... it is coming.
So, as to hate? None here. Just an understanding of the economic and social factors that are, and have been, true to man, since he bit the forbidden fruit. It's just the way it is. There are two ways to deal with it. As practically, judicially, logically, and morally as is possible, or by mob rule... i.e. socialism and communism. Those are, really, the two choices. Neither are completely fair. There will be losers and winners, though in the former the games are based on who is fastest, smartest, best and in the latter the outcomes are based on who has the guns. Simple choices. Socialism will guarantee, for those who can choke it down, aren't butchered because they aren't willing to go along with it, and aren't murdered as an example of who has the guns, a small life based on social, political, and economic rules by the rich is guaranteed... as long as they obey... whatever the rules say. In that sense, I suppose, it is safer. But it will never be utopia. There is no such thing, here on earth, now.
Just... clearing some things. It's a... hobby of mine.
What I believe, what I want, and what will be.
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Many people truly despise my notion of how things should be. Segregation and laws balanced differently according to ability and accountability? You bet. Women, mainly, kept out of academia, most professions, the military, and so on? Sure. An end to public education for the most part? To a degree. Although a serious shake-up in that system, and the creation of various tracks, along with a different set of educational goals, away from propaganda, for example, could convince me that an 8th grade education might be a reasonable thing to provide for those who can't or won't do that. Then again, an 8th grade education a century ago was more than kids are getting all the way through college at this point, and at a fraction of a fraction of the cost.
Oh, but... no worries. There is nothing I could do to create these things. Right? Absolutely correct. I have no power to enact any of this. But then, I don't need to do one solitary single thing. Your current leaders, the ones you vote for, the ones you think are so clever and are on your side? They are doing it for me. If I didn't have an objective moral compass barring me from simply using logic, I would simply support exactly who you are supporting. Definitely Democrat for speed, but Republicans are keeping that cattle car rolling from behind. They only get conservative when conservatives try to push the train in the right direction. They slam on the breaks, deciding to think things over, until they can surrender to the Dems for the next great leap forward.
No, you go on. Keep voting as you have been. There is a serious dip coming, regardless. Essentially this train has gone too far out on a poorly constructed, ill advised as to location and design, bridge. It won't hold for much longer. That's just the way of it. From the government's undercutting of social norms and familial ties, to social allowances and acceptance of drugs and crime, to lots of other things. The load is too much for the support. How that all will shake out is anyone's guess. Socialists/communists think their side will win. The problem is there truly are more good people than there are thieves and wolves, and they haven't, yet, been able to disarm those they are wanting to rob. While some in the military and police might consider joining the bad guys, for "our sakes", they aren't suicidal. Conservatives think they will win, but the problem with conservatives is that they really aren't well organized. Which is how such a small group of robber politicians have been able to assume power. The military is in a civil war, top to bottom, which... like in the civilian sector, won't end up well if Custer decides to charge. Christians are just as divided. It will get ugly as resources become scant and choices have to be made. Tribal, boys and girls.
Yeah, so, keep voting for your gay marriage supporting politics. Even if you don't think you are, you are. Keep voting for union support. Keep voting for the guy that is on your side. It doesn't matter, I have already won, even if I lose. If you want to know what socialists do with gays, once they are in power, read a little history. They don't, like me, kindly and not so, suggest they keep in the closets and their hands off kids, they kill them. If you want to know what they do with minorities? Even in Russia, today, blacks are out and out called monkeys. Some socialist blacks moved there, thinking it was utopia, and found out just what a socialist utopia means for them. And women? If a state can give you the power to kill your children, it can force you to have them. The state is for, and of, the state, when it has the guns. Your interests are of no concern to it. It isn't safer. It truly doesn't care. And, no, Obama does not love you.
I simply, almost, wish I could join you, profit off it all, and still get my way. As is, I have to keep fighting the inevitable. Well, and socialists always take it too far. Instead of segregation and exclusion, they just jump whole hog into genocide. Well, the train wreck might end up changing things up in the right direction. We'll see.
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Many people truly despise my notion of how things should be. Segregation and laws balanced differently according to ability and accountability? You bet. Women, mainly, kept out of academia, most professions, the military, and so on? Sure. An end to public education for the most part? To a degree. Although a serious shake-up in that system, and the creation of various tracks, along with a different set of educational goals, away from propaganda, for example, could convince me that an 8th grade education might be a reasonable thing to provide for those who can't or won't do that. Then again, an 8th grade education a century ago was more than kids are getting all the way through college at this point, and at a fraction of a fraction of the cost.
Oh, but... no worries. There is nothing I could do to create these things. Right? Absolutely correct. I have no power to enact any of this. But then, I don't need to do one solitary single thing. Your current leaders, the ones you vote for, the ones you think are so clever and are on your side? They are doing it for me. If I didn't have an objective moral compass barring me from simply using logic, I would simply support exactly who you are supporting. Definitely Democrat for speed, but Republicans are keeping that cattle car rolling from behind. They only get conservative when conservatives try to push the train in the right direction. They slam on the breaks, deciding to think things over, until they can surrender to the Dems for the next great leap forward.
No, you go on. Keep voting as you have been. There is a serious dip coming, regardless. Essentially this train has gone too far out on a poorly constructed, ill advised as to location and design, bridge. It won't hold for much longer. That's just the way of it. From the government's undercutting of social norms and familial ties, to social allowances and acceptance of drugs and crime, to lots of other things. The load is too much for the support. How that all will shake out is anyone's guess. Socialists/communists think their side will win. The problem is there truly are more good people than there are thieves and wolves, and they haven't, yet, been able to disarm those they are wanting to rob. While some in the military and police might consider joining the bad guys, for "our sakes", they aren't suicidal. Conservatives think they will win, but the problem with conservatives is that they really aren't well organized. Which is how such a small group of robber politicians have been able to assume power. The military is in a civil war, top to bottom, which... like in the civilian sector, won't end up well if Custer decides to charge. Christians are just as divided. It will get ugly as resources become scant and choices have to be made. Tribal, boys and girls.
Yeah, so, keep voting for your gay marriage supporting politics. Even if you don't think you are, you are. Keep voting for union support. Keep voting for the guy that is on your side. It doesn't matter, I have already won, even if I lose. If you want to know what socialists do with gays, once they are in power, read a little history. They don't, like me, kindly and not so, suggest they keep in the closets and their hands off kids, they kill them. If you want to know what they do with minorities? Even in Russia, today, blacks are out and out called monkeys. Some socialist blacks moved there, thinking it was utopia, and found out just what a socialist utopia means for them. And women? If a state can give you the power to kill your children, it can force you to have them. The state is for, and of, the state, when it has the guns. Your interests are of no concern to it. It isn't safer. It truly doesn't care. And, no, Obama does not love you.
I simply, almost, wish I could join you, profit off it all, and still get my way. As is, I have to keep fighting the inevitable. Well, and socialists always take it too far. Instead of segregation and exclusion, they just jump whole hog into genocide. Well, the train wreck might end up changing things up in the right direction. We'll see.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Just weird.
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But I'll show you an example of the things that happen to me all of the time. I would love to say that I am the one who nails things. The truth is, I simply notice them.
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But I'll show you an example of the things that happen to me all of the time. I would love to say that I am the one who nails things. The truth is, I simply notice them.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Advice?
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Remember, advice is usually worth exactly what you paid for it. Assuming you don't include the time investment. When you get good advice, on very rare occasions, and it's something you don't already know, however, then it can become quite valuable. Then again, if you are given a ton of gold, but never sell it, you have gained nothing. In other words, even good advice is only as valuable as you make it.
While looking around on YouTube, the internet, and other sources, I find a lot of people handing out advice that is less than valuable. I do look at ideas, both to compare and potentially learn. Combat, truly, is an act of the mind. It takes on a form of reality when it goes from the mind to the environment. So... thinking on these matters is important. Every man, whether he knows it or not, on some level, is a warrior. Some have quit beforehand, and will surrender. Some have chosen to be the warrior within a family unit or clan, and thus have a slightly different ROE. And, most will never have to do more than social posturing... that's another term for bluffing. And yet, when God calls, sometimes all of our best laid plans, our hopes, our intent, are swept aside and we are left to deal with the realities at hand. So... better to be ready. And know... surrender will not see you to survival, just a quicker, possibly less painful, death. Unless someone deems you healthy enough to work to death. Still, it's your choice.
I saw a man, decked out in a t-shirt, bluejeans, a highly modded m-15, and tattoos costing more than his clothing and gear. He was describing how to stand so as not to be thrown off while shooting in a standing position. Ostensibly for tactical training. Now, that is fine for the range, or plinking in some field, I guess if I would still argue against that as a general rule (shoot as you plan to shoot), but that should never be conflated with a tactical stance. Unless you plan to mow down unarmed people. If that is your plan, don't answer that. And you are doomed. The thing is this... In a tactical situation, if you are on your feet so as to purchase territory through advancement, or find cover (I would go with the cover, then advancement, mind you), and you are in a hostile environment, you won't be planting your feet so that you may shoot from a standing position. I suppose there is some call for that, in very limited situations, but not enough to give advice as to how best to do that. The best advice that can be given regarding how to shoot is... to tell people to get out and shoot. Experience will demand that you begin to figure things out on your own. The cost of bullets and the marks on the ego from missing will fix teh stupid. More? What works for me may well not work for you. Trust me hard on that last.
I guess what I am saying is, if you really want to understand some things, go do them. True, you can't reasonably be expected to train in live-fire conditions. Too many of you will not survive. You can't just do what you wish, and some people can't handle surviving in a tight corridor. Raise your head? Lose it. But you can, while target shooting, consider exactly what you would really do if someone was shooting at you. Stand there, plant your feet just so, take aim, and shoot? Yeah, no. You drop to your belly, or lunge toward cover as fast as your little legs will carry you, depending on some factors you won't understand, always, even if you survive. Though, with a little real life experience, assuming you survive, you will begin to make... better choices. If the truth is, in a long enough war, survival rates on any individual drops to zero.
If you want to learn tactics, first, get out and shoot. Then, think of the situations in which you might find yourself, and consider what you might do. After you have filled out the notions as well as you can, practicing what you would do, and if you still feel the need, find tactical trainers. While they might well take a noob, and your money, fresh off the boat, you won't be getting your full money's worth if they are having to teach you how to reload your rifle, or deal with your phobias regarding scratching your rifle, 'touching the dirt' with your clothes, or even keeping a solid safety barrel position. They will babysit you, but only up to a point. Don't bug them until you deserve to bug them.
Now, that is advice you can take to the bank. But I can't do that for you. You want it? Go get it. Now... get off my damned porch!
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Remember, advice is usually worth exactly what you paid for it. Assuming you don't include the time investment. When you get good advice, on very rare occasions, and it's something you don't already know, however, then it can become quite valuable. Then again, if you are given a ton of gold, but never sell it, you have gained nothing. In other words, even good advice is only as valuable as you make it.
While looking around on YouTube, the internet, and other sources, I find a lot of people handing out advice that is less than valuable. I do look at ideas, both to compare and potentially learn. Combat, truly, is an act of the mind. It takes on a form of reality when it goes from the mind to the environment. So... thinking on these matters is important. Every man, whether he knows it or not, on some level, is a warrior. Some have quit beforehand, and will surrender. Some have chosen to be the warrior within a family unit or clan, and thus have a slightly different ROE. And, most will never have to do more than social posturing... that's another term for bluffing. And yet, when God calls, sometimes all of our best laid plans, our hopes, our intent, are swept aside and we are left to deal with the realities at hand. So... better to be ready. And know... surrender will not see you to survival, just a quicker, possibly less painful, death. Unless someone deems you healthy enough to work to death. Still, it's your choice.
I saw a man, decked out in a t-shirt, bluejeans, a highly modded m-15, and tattoos costing more than his clothing and gear. He was describing how to stand so as not to be thrown off while shooting in a standing position. Ostensibly for tactical training. Now, that is fine for the range, or plinking in some field, I guess if I would still argue against that as a general rule (shoot as you plan to shoot), but that should never be conflated with a tactical stance. Unless you plan to mow down unarmed people. If that is your plan, don't answer that. And you are doomed. The thing is this... In a tactical situation, if you are on your feet so as to purchase territory through advancement, or find cover (I would go with the cover, then advancement, mind you), and you are in a hostile environment, you won't be planting your feet so that you may shoot from a standing position. I suppose there is some call for that, in very limited situations, but not enough to give advice as to how best to do that. The best advice that can be given regarding how to shoot is... to tell people to get out and shoot. Experience will demand that you begin to figure things out on your own. The cost of bullets and the marks on the ego from missing will fix teh stupid. More? What works for me may well not work for you. Trust me hard on that last.
I guess what I am saying is, if you really want to understand some things, go do them. True, you can't reasonably be expected to train in live-fire conditions. Too many of you will not survive. You can't just do what you wish, and some people can't handle surviving in a tight corridor. Raise your head? Lose it. But you can, while target shooting, consider exactly what you would really do if someone was shooting at you. Stand there, plant your feet just so, take aim, and shoot? Yeah, no. You drop to your belly, or lunge toward cover as fast as your little legs will carry you, depending on some factors you won't understand, always, even if you survive. Though, with a little real life experience, assuming you survive, you will begin to make... better choices. If the truth is, in a long enough war, survival rates on any individual drops to zero.
If you want to learn tactics, first, get out and shoot. Then, think of the situations in which you might find yourself, and consider what you might do. After you have filled out the notions as well as you can, practicing what you would do, and if you still feel the need, find tactical trainers. While they might well take a noob, and your money, fresh off the boat, you won't be getting your full money's worth if they are having to teach you how to reload your rifle, or deal with your phobias regarding scratching your rifle, 'touching the dirt' with your clothes, or even keeping a solid safety barrel position. They will babysit you, but only up to a point. Don't bug them until you deserve to bug them.
Now, that is advice you can take to the bank. But I can't do that for you. You want it? Go get it. Now... get off my damned porch!
Why science is failing.
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Why? It is very simple, no matter how complicated the math, no matter how sure the observed, no matter how solid the physics, science isn't about proving, it's more about the opposite. Too much of science has invested itself into engineering. Engineering is based on what is known, calculable, doable, not why or how or such. A good scientist will look for why not, and keep that as his premise. There are shelves upon which to set things. This, is true, for these variables, as far as we know, for example. The next step is to find where that doesn't work, not to then suggest that it must therefore be the truth. Lazy, corrupt, ignorant, coddled. Science is the cold hard fact that no matter how much we know, we are still wrong. But that, like science's mother faith, is too hard. Even that, which is much less than faith, is too hard for too many, in their own field. So... they go with the easy, with the candy, with the junk food. And it shows to those of us who know both child and parent.
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Why? It is very simple, no matter how complicated the math, no matter how sure the observed, no matter how solid the physics, science isn't about proving, it's more about the opposite. Too much of science has invested itself into engineering. Engineering is based on what is known, calculable, doable, not why or how or such. A good scientist will look for why not, and keep that as his premise. There are shelves upon which to set things. This, is true, for these variables, as far as we know, for example. The next step is to find where that doesn't work, not to then suggest that it must therefore be the truth. Lazy, corrupt, ignorant, coddled. Science is the cold hard fact that no matter how much we know, we are still wrong. But that, like science's mother faith, is too hard. Even that, which is much less than faith, is too hard for too many, in their own field. So... they go with the easy, with the candy, with the junk food. And it shows to those of us who know both child and parent.
Laughed, she did.
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The other day I posted a response to a woman, and what I assumed was fear about a certain topic. Not long after, I heard this tinkling laughter. Oh you, I seemed to hear. That was not the fear. And I received a clarification.
What was feared, it seems, was not what I had suggested. Then again, the fear was hidden. I don't even think it was meant to be presented to me. It just eked out a little message, somehow, and floated my way on the threads of consciousness. Can't blame me completely. But now I do understand.
The fear wasn't about men as mates, or me in particular, or any such thing. It was the notion that my take on equality, and some other issues, between men and women... might just be right. Oh, don't think she is surrendering her pride, or giving up her place in the world, if that isn't what I have ever asked or implied. And don't believe she is... fully agreeing. Her pride, ego, won't let her... considering how she views my assertive stance. But she is, after great care in thought and consideration, beginning to question much of what she has believed to this point. A pivot point, after solid reconsiderations.
Changing a mind does not come without fear. We build domiciles for our minds and wills. We strengthen the walls, we learn and adjust the maze within, we add justification to support. So, when we tear out a wall, remove a room, or even consider moving to a new psychic castle altogether, there is fear. That, I am told, is the fear which I felt. Who? Don't know, or... won't say. Might just be in my mind, you... do know that I am crazy, right? Never the mind. That is what I felt, how I responded initially, the clarification, and... my final thoughts.
Don't worry, ma'am. There is no issue with your value here. If you sidle over to my side of the force, you would only... be seen as more... important... in terms of valuation. I myself had to surrender much of my ill-conceived self valuation and ego to become... much more, and by becoming much less. And, at least for me, I was happy to let go of my fleshly appeal to my own worth and find value in being less than what I simply wanted, demanded, or could take. I grew up. It hurt, I feared, now I am loving it. No lies to bury, no hate to carry around, no ideas have to be avoided, and my intellect is satisfied that what I understand matches with what I now believe. Harmony. So I'm not my own, or king in flesh, or superior, or even my own.
Even if you didn't change, what many don't understand, is that I still love them. My Father taught me these things, my Brother gifted me with an pure example, and the Holy Spirit filled me with what it takes to do so.
Still, if you are coming over, do not fear... for long. Just enjoy the free air.
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The other day I posted a response to a woman, and what I assumed was fear about a certain topic. Not long after, I heard this tinkling laughter. Oh you, I seemed to hear. That was not the fear. And I received a clarification.
What was feared, it seems, was not what I had suggested. Then again, the fear was hidden. I don't even think it was meant to be presented to me. It just eked out a little message, somehow, and floated my way on the threads of consciousness. Can't blame me completely. But now I do understand.
The fear wasn't about men as mates, or me in particular, or any such thing. It was the notion that my take on equality, and some other issues, between men and women... might just be right. Oh, don't think she is surrendering her pride, or giving up her place in the world, if that isn't what I have ever asked or implied. And don't believe she is... fully agreeing. Her pride, ego, won't let her... considering how she views my assertive stance. But she is, after great care in thought and consideration, beginning to question much of what she has believed to this point. A pivot point, after solid reconsiderations.
Changing a mind does not come without fear. We build domiciles for our minds and wills. We strengthen the walls, we learn and adjust the maze within, we add justification to support. So, when we tear out a wall, remove a room, or even consider moving to a new psychic castle altogether, there is fear. That, I am told, is the fear which I felt. Who? Don't know, or... won't say. Might just be in my mind, you... do know that I am crazy, right? Never the mind. That is what I felt, how I responded initially, the clarification, and... my final thoughts.
Don't worry, ma'am. There is no issue with your value here. If you sidle over to my side of the force, you would only... be seen as more... important... in terms of valuation. I myself had to surrender much of my ill-conceived self valuation and ego to become... much more, and by becoming much less. And, at least for me, I was happy to let go of my fleshly appeal to my own worth and find value in being less than what I simply wanted, demanded, or could take. I grew up. It hurt, I feared, now I am loving it. No lies to bury, no hate to carry around, no ideas have to be avoided, and my intellect is satisfied that what I understand matches with what I now believe. Harmony. So I'm not my own, or king in flesh, or superior, or even my own.
Even if you didn't change, what many don't understand, is that I still love them. My Father taught me these things, my Brother gifted me with an pure example, and the Holy Spirit filled me with what it takes to do so.
Still, if you are coming over, do not fear... for long. Just enjoy the free air.
As the situation worsens.
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I find myself considering issues much more seriously. This includes the notion of police, sheriff, and other leo officers.
I remember, as a child, rooting for Bat Masterson, Wyatt Earp, along with a host of other real and fictional good guys. The Lone Ranger, Batman, and others come to mind. Of course, there were notions of anti-heroes, and cheering select among those on, of whom Batman would probably have been the first. And while my notions have matured, many of my understandings of those earlier heroes went unchanged. In this time, even those are being reviewed.
The most recent such man to come under very close review regarded Wyatt Earp, and the O.K. Corral incident. Why? Because the story hinges on the lines of gun control, personal responsibility, legal and potentially illegal use of force, and a host of other notions. It hit me like a brick, while recently watching a pseudo documentary. I have, several times, studied the events that took place. And, everything about the docu-drama was rather spot on, from what I remember.
A town, with a number of industries and standard townfolk, was having issue with, essentially, rather lawless cowboys. A gang of them. The leader had been killed in Mexico while trying to rustle cattle, or perhaps he was robbed of stolen cattle and killed. Hard to say, down there. The thing is, he was known for stealing cattle in both the US and Mexico, moving them across the border, and selling them. The members of that gang held together. And, because of the money they brought to the town, and their less than civilized social order, expected and pretty much were allowed, to be rather lawless.
The city chose to shut that down. They required that guns be turned in when in town. Now, in a lawless town, that is a risky proposition, more so to those who cause much of the lawlessness. This is where I had to consider the factors involved. "Shall not be infringed", is rather plain. And, yet, this wasn't outside of the realm of reason, considering that alcohol was often involved. States can, and all of them I am aware of do, limit people with guns regarding alcohol consumption. Often even not allowing guns in bars. Having been a bouncer, however, I know just how well that law actually works... even in a state where permits to carry were rarely handed out to mere civilians. Yeah... You learn to see prints, if nothing else than to know who to watch. The thing is, that law imperiled city citizens and the law was weak as to their defense. I have to wonder if any civilians were killed due to being unarmed while the Cowboys were allowed to ignore the law at times?
On the other side, you had two different groups of lawmen. One which went strictly by the letter of the law, and pushed it. The other whic was pretty much against infringement, at least for their outlaw allies. Neither of which was strictly on their chosen side for strictly legal reasons. Each had a cut of some enterprise or other to protect. Nothing clean here. Business, all business, all the time.
Up until recently, I generally gave leo the balance of favor. I can't say that is at an end. Only that the review of current events is a bit more stringent. I never offered a blind eye, though, nor a wink and a nod, save in very select situations. As for literal civilians? Generally I don't trust them either, and less than officers. Simply put, there are a lot of trouble makers and troubled folk out there. Drugs are becoming a huge issue. Meth, heroine, and some other new and old crap is coming online. People who use those, or even pot, can't be counted on to act rationally or be trusted even if they are sure of what they saw.
I have always known that there is a bit of... imbalance... in every leo personally and agency wide. I know things are done, allowed, and not allowed, that have nothing good to do with the law. Only in a fabled world of utopian dreams could it be different. Police, to a degree, are there to maintain order, offer justice, and protect and defend. But they are standing in a very precarious position. Further, they are simply human. The whole justice system is also slightly rigged, for fear, for money, bowing to power. It is just the way it is, and will remain, until perfection is had. It's a matter of options. There are some hopes, and limits, with any force.
As an individual, among individuals, I am reasonably competent at bringing my own order to the game. However, that is not how this game is played. People group up, guns are equalizers, and the reality is that without the law officers, things would go tribal, more tribal, and fast. If you want to see what that looks like, visit some of the places in the city where law is broken. If you want to test your metal, go there, alone, at night. I have, but you aren't me. It's not what you want.
The trick is making sure that the actual innocent aren't harmed in the rigging, that wolves are kept with wolves, the sheep with the sheep, and some order is maintained, and just realize that it is the way it is. Further, whether perfect, always right, or what, the law has to be bent so as to be applied relatively evenly. It isn't as simple as many naysayers wish. There aren't enough law enforcement bodies to make it so, and if there were, that itself would become a huge injustice.
So, yes. I still give cops the edge. I'll still back them. And yet I'd like to see some grooming in there. It is becoming clunky, those who shouldn't be being hassled are, and too many who should be hassled aren't being dealt with. Things are becoming unbalanced. And, to an extent, I do blame drugs, though having an unconstitutional government is bending lots of things out of true. The whole place is falling down, big cities first. Thankfully, at the moment, and to my knowledge, I live in a relatively reasoned legal environment. But just a few towns away, I am hearing that break-ins of autos and homes is taking place. Meth, I hear. When people can't be dealt with reasonably, they must be dealt with unreasonably. The problem is, those who are law abiding, especially if armed, can easily land in the crossfire in a war they may not have even known existed.
Things to think about. Best to think about them ahead of time. I still have to think that unless they can perfect no-knock searches, they need to end those. And, if break-ins continue? It will be difficult to lower a weapon if someone breaks in while people are asleep, then yells "Police". What are your odds? Police better rethink, just as we are. Things are getting ugly. Decide who your allies are, check your adrenalin, and check your fire. Go after the ones that are a problem. Shut down meth and the other actively bad drugs. I hate to say it, but when you know? SSS. Just make sure you are hitting the right target.
.
I find myself considering issues much more seriously. This includes the notion of police, sheriff, and other leo officers.
I remember, as a child, rooting for Bat Masterson, Wyatt Earp, along with a host of other real and fictional good guys. The Lone Ranger, Batman, and others come to mind. Of course, there were notions of anti-heroes, and cheering select among those on, of whom Batman would probably have been the first. And while my notions have matured, many of my understandings of those earlier heroes went unchanged. In this time, even those are being reviewed.
The most recent such man to come under very close review regarded Wyatt Earp, and the O.K. Corral incident. Why? Because the story hinges on the lines of gun control, personal responsibility, legal and potentially illegal use of force, and a host of other notions. It hit me like a brick, while recently watching a pseudo documentary. I have, several times, studied the events that took place. And, everything about the docu-drama was rather spot on, from what I remember.
A town, with a number of industries and standard townfolk, was having issue with, essentially, rather lawless cowboys. A gang of them. The leader had been killed in Mexico while trying to rustle cattle, or perhaps he was robbed of stolen cattle and killed. Hard to say, down there. The thing is, he was known for stealing cattle in both the US and Mexico, moving them across the border, and selling them. The members of that gang held together. And, because of the money they brought to the town, and their less than civilized social order, expected and pretty much were allowed, to be rather lawless.
The city chose to shut that down. They required that guns be turned in when in town. Now, in a lawless town, that is a risky proposition, more so to those who cause much of the lawlessness. This is where I had to consider the factors involved. "Shall not be infringed", is rather plain. And, yet, this wasn't outside of the realm of reason, considering that alcohol was often involved. States can, and all of them I am aware of do, limit people with guns regarding alcohol consumption. Often even not allowing guns in bars. Having been a bouncer, however, I know just how well that law actually works... even in a state where permits to carry were rarely handed out to mere civilians. Yeah... You learn to see prints, if nothing else than to know who to watch. The thing is, that law imperiled city citizens and the law was weak as to their defense. I have to wonder if any civilians were killed due to being unarmed while the Cowboys were allowed to ignore the law at times?
On the other side, you had two different groups of lawmen. One which went strictly by the letter of the law, and pushed it. The other whic was pretty much against infringement, at least for their outlaw allies. Neither of which was strictly on their chosen side for strictly legal reasons. Each had a cut of some enterprise or other to protect. Nothing clean here. Business, all business, all the time.
Up until recently, I generally gave leo the balance of favor. I can't say that is at an end. Only that the review of current events is a bit more stringent. I never offered a blind eye, though, nor a wink and a nod, save in very select situations. As for literal civilians? Generally I don't trust them either, and less than officers. Simply put, there are a lot of trouble makers and troubled folk out there. Drugs are becoming a huge issue. Meth, heroine, and some other new and old crap is coming online. People who use those, or even pot, can't be counted on to act rationally or be trusted even if they are sure of what they saw.
I have always known that there is a bit of... imbalance... in every leo personally and agency wide. I know things are done, allowed, and not allowed, that have nothing good to do with the law. Only in a fabled world of utopian dreams could it be different. Police, to a degree, are there to maintain order, offer justice, and protect and defend. But they are standing in a very precarious position. Further, they are simply human. The whole justice system is also slightly rigged, for fear, for money, bowing to power. It is just the way it is, and will remain, until perfection is had. It's a matter of options. There are some hopes, and limits, with any force.
As an individual, among individuals, I am reasonably competent at bringing my own order to the game. However, that is not how this game is played. People group up, guns are equalizers, and the reality is that without the law officers, things would go tribal, more tribal, and fast. If you want to see what that looks like, visit some of the places in the city where law is broken. If you want to test your metal, go there, alone, at night. I have, but you aren't me. It's not what you want.
The trick is making sure that the actual innocent aren't harmed in the rigging, that wolves are kept with wolves, the sheep with the sheep, and some order is maintained, and just realize that it is the way it is. Further, whether perfect, always right, or what, the law has to be bent so as to be applied relatively evenly. It isn't as simple as many naysayers wish. There aren't enough law enforcement bodies to make it so, and if there were, that itself would become a huge injustice.
So, yes. I still give cops the edge. I'll still back them. And yet I'd like to see some grooming in there. It is becoming clunky, those who shouldn't be being hassled are, and too many who should be hassled aren't being dealt with. Things are becoming unbalanced. And, to an extent, I do blame drugs, though having an unconstitutional government is bending lots of things out of true. The whole place is falling down, big cities first. Thankfully, at the moment, and to my knowledge, I live in a relatively reasoned legal environment. But just a few towns away, I am hearing that break-ins of autos and homes is taking place. Meth, I hear. When people can't be dealt with reasonably, they must be dealt with unreasonably. The problem is, those who are law abiding, especially if armed, can easily land in the crossfire in a war they may not have even known existed.
Things to think about. Best to think about them ahead of time. I still have to think that unless they can perfect no-knock searches, they need to end those. And, if break-ins continue? It will be difficult to lower a weapon if someone breaks in while people are asleep, then yells "Police". What are your odds? Police better rethink, just as we are. Things are getting ugly. Decide who your allies are, check your adrenalin, and check your fire. Go after the ones that are a problem. Shut down meth and the other actively bad drugs. I hate to say it, but when you know? SSS. Just make sure you are hitting the right target.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
One notion hit me, as I was getting ready to get ready.
.
.
I got this sense that a woman feared me. And that it has been... bothering her. I had to laugh. Gently, no need to be snide about it. Not for me, in any case. It matters little to me. Why?
Find me a standard, typical in most common senses, woman. Let me discuss a few things with her. If she is still at home, does she fear her parents? I mean it, downright fear, on some topics. What about her teachers? Does she fear them. Does she ever break out into a sweat if she realizes she forgot to prepare for class in such a way that her instructor will know, directly? Or even have had the thought pop into her mind. Does she fear her peers, her nakedness, our even being ignored and overlooked? If she is faithful, does she fear God? Does she know how she fails in her faith, and understand the price of that. Even a slight sin displeases God. Then... why on earth would she not fear me?
As a fact, if a woman doesn't fear me, she has no worries. If she finds a man who scares her a great deal, that is a man she might consider, or run away from. If he is righteous, she should understand her fears are no more and no less than any of the fears she already has, just a new one in a new way, and it is given for a reason. She, as a woman, is a fearful creature. And that is good. It is what she does with her fears that will decide if she goes on to be a rightfully fearful creature or just another woman, scurrying between temporary shelters, to end up as most emancipated women have truly feared, old, broke, unemployed, and alone.
Deal with your fears, that is bravery, and the safer path. Hedge your bets. It's no guarantee, much as hard work is no guarantee of success. Both, however, in their place, certainly offer more hope than simply hiding from fear, or hard work in the latter. Do both and you almost can't lose. Actually, even if you lose, you will not have lost. I think of the story of the talents, given to slaves. While most gained, one buried the talent to keep it safe, and lost everything. There is no clue as to what would happen if the holder had pursued greater wealth and lost some portion. My guess is... he would have been simply allowed to keep what of his loss remained. Just... something to think about.
Bah! Best get going.
.
I got this sense that a woman feared me. And that it has been... bothering her. I had to laugh. Gently, no need to be snide about it. Not for me, in any case. It matters little to me. Why?
Find me a standard, typical in most common senses, woman. Let me discuss a few things with her. If she is still at home, does she fear her parents? I mean it, downright fear, on some topics. What about her teachers? Does she fear them. Does she ever break out into a sweat if she realizes she forgot to prepare for class in such a way that her instructor will know, directly? Or even have had the thought pop into her mind. Does she fear her peers, her nakedness, our even being ignored and overlooked? If she is faithful, does she fear God? Does she know how she fails in her faith, and understand the price of that. Even a slight sin displeases God. Then... why on earth would she not fear me?
As a fact, if a woman doesn't fear me, she has no worries. If she finds a man who scares her a great deal, that is a man she might consider, or run away from. If he is righteous, she should understand her fears are no more and no less than any of the fears she already has, just a new one in a new way, and it is given for a reason. She, as a woman, is a fearful creature. And that is good. It is what she does with her fears that will decide if she goes on to be a rightfully fearful creature or just another woman, scurrying between temporary shelters, to end up as most emancipated women have truly feared, old, broke, unemployed, and alone.
Deal with your fears, that is bravery, and the safer path. Hedge your bets. It's no guarantee, much as hard work is no guarantee of success. Both, however, in their place, certainly offer more hope than simply hiding from fear, or hard work in the latter. Do both and you almost can't lose. Actually, even if you lose, you will not have lost. I think of the story of the talents, given to slaves. While most gained, one buried the talent to keep it safe, and lost everything. There is no clue as to what would happen if the holder had pursued greater wealth and lost some portion. My guess is... he would have been simply allowed to keep what of his loss remained. Just... something to think about.
Bah! Best get going.
A bit of research while waking.
.
.
An email brought a reminder, and a hint, about something that had been introduced here. APAs, or Amateur Press Alliances, where both reading and writing are involved, on specific topics, to interested and hopefully better informed fellows interested in specific topics. A bit of a review has turned up some APAs. So far, most have been of various sorts of arts and gaming, from comic book purveyors to fans, role-playing gamers, studio insiders, and such. I am hoping to find, perhaps, some groups more focused on maths, sciences, engineering, and such. Although technical shooting, haiku poetry techniques, and some other topics would be given a solid review. And, really, a linux or BSD-Free (or other format) open architecture OS group wouldn't be bad. Better a more general than more specific group for that latter, would be preferred.
I will be starting all over in some of these areas. My articles would probably start out rather simple, compared to old hands. And I will probably never rise to the cream of the crop on cutting edges of any of those topics, perhaps maybe haiku in my alternative nature of it. What I have found that I can be exceptional at, however, is taking a micro piece of an area, and defining and redefining it for clarity. Too small and you lose cohesion, too big and you are simply dealing with generalities. The question is, how well can you dial in psychic scope to review, and truly clarify, the mechanisms involved. That I can be good at. Still, I will be a spanking new padawon learner, in whatever topic(s) I might choose to pursue. That is, of course, assuming I can find, or even create, such a group.
The problem, save for, potentially, haiku... is that most in those fields of my interest are not literary minded. As well, the internet, professional outlets, and small relational groups, fill much of the void of in-field exploration in a more relaxed setting. So there simply might not be a real draw for some disciplines. Getting such a thing started, might be possible, probably recruiting in colleges. Starting with students, but that might well draw a few professors in, and possibly students who go on to a career might enjoy staying in the thing, once started. It allows for mistakes, and possibly rebuttal, but without career-affecting issues. And, it allows for improvements in one's own understanding of particular problems. Students might have difficulty simply with time management issues, though summers are a good time to do... off schedule revisions of notions that were problematic. Dunno... dunno... looking, checking, thinking.
Life isn't easy. You can get what you need, not always what you want. But this notion is interesting, if I can get it to fly.
Oh, right. I'm awake. Time to get a shower, get to town, and... see what else I can do. If I am up to it, vacuuming when I get back. Later.
.
An email brought a reminder, and a hint, about something that had been introduced here. APAs, or Amateur Press Alliances, where both reading and writing are involved, on specific topics, to interested and hopefully better informed fellows interested in specific topics. A bit of a review has turned up some APAs. So far, most have been of various sorts of arts and gaming, from comic book purveyors to fans, role-playing gamers, studio insiders, and such. I am hoping to find, perhaps, some groups more focused on maths, sciences, engineering, and such. Although technical shooting, haiku poetry techniques, and some other topics would be given a solid review. And, really, a linux or BSD-Free (or other format) open architecture OS group wouldn't be bad. Better a more general than more specific group for that latter, would be preferred.
I will be starting all over in some of these areas. My articles would probably start out rather simple, compared to old hands. And I will probably never rise to the cream of the crop on cutting edges of any of those topics, perhaps maybe haiku in my alternative nature of it. What I have found that I can be exceptional at, however, is taking a micro piece of an area, and defining and redefining it for clarity. Too small and you lose cohesion, too big and you are simply dealing with generalities. The question is, how well can you dial in psychic scope to review, and truly clarify, the mechanisms involved. That I can be good at. Still, I will be a spanking new padawon learner, in whatever topic(s) I might choose to pursue. That is, of course, assuming I can find, or even create, such a group.
The problem, save for, potentially, haiku... is that most in those fields of my interest are not literary minded. As well, the internet, professional outlets, and small relational groups, fill much of the void of in-field exploration in a more relaxed setting. So there simply might not be a real draw for some disciplines. Getting such a thing started, might be possible, probably recruiting in colleges. Starting with students, but that might well draw a few professors in, and possibly students who go on to a career might enjoy staying in the thing, once started. It allows for mistakes, and possibly rebuttal, but without career-affecting issues. And, it allows for improvements in one's own understanding of particular problems. Students might have difficulty simply with time management issues, though summers are a good time to do... off schedule revisions of notions that were problematic. Dunno... dunno... looking, checking, thinking.
Life isn't easy. You can get what you need, not always what you want. But this notion is interesting, if I can get it to fly.
Oh, right. I'm awake. Time to get a shower, get to town, and... see what else I can do. If I am up to it, vacuuming when I get back. Later.
Crappy night, stupid sleep cycle, but that isn't the end of it.
.
.
What is happening I can't be sure. It's not sickness, though medicine might be playing some odd part, as with weather. As the days heat up, I am having difficulty adjusting the thermostat just right. The days are too hot right until they hit frigid. I can sense the relative heat out there. It's already creeping in. So, perhaps, my schedule is changing as my body chases the cool. I really do prefer cool. As does my body... two very different entities, mind you... not always in accord. Like a magnet, with cool being north, and the seasonal change being a slow magnetic change, I didn't notice this particular, and potent shift. I have finally nailed down what my seasonal problem is. It's two-fold. Light. But full spectrum lamps don't actually help. And temperatures, but radiant not "felt"... or natural worldly temps, not what a furnace can offer. And, really, it is when those are in greatest flux that I have the most problems. Cold? I love it. Heat? If it is dry I can rise above it, surf it sort of... mostly... if I have a cool cave to escape within as needed. But this flux leaves everything all crazy and all over the place. I don't think there is a solution to it. It must simply be suffered, as with much of life. King to pauper, knight to lady, life is about suffering what cannot be changed, changing what can be, and attempting to gain the wisdom to know the difference. My age and health actually aren't large parts of the problem, or yet. This thing is all it's own. I wonder if the equator would hold any solutions? Yeah, for stability. But also for third-world living.
I think there is much to be said for withstanding suffering. Look at the nations which live in weather, or seasonal, "paradise", and their lack of advancement. These places have, and probably never will, advance. In these nations, when you have eaten, your job is done. Shade you can find under a tree. Clothes aren't terribly necessary. I suppose a hut can be built, if you are bored. Maybe boats, goes to food. If food becomes scarce, just kill each other until there isn't a problem with food again. I suppose you could call these places the fallen gardens of Eden. That being both a blessing and a curse. And... all good until iron boats and big boom-booms show up. Well, honestly, no better or worse than civilized nations, just much simpler... if perhaps a bit more honest, and always imperiled. Yeah... no. I'll stick with large landmasses, the four seasons, the Northern Hemisphere, and right proper suffering.
Have you ever noticed, when even a beneficent advanced civilization shows up, and decides to help? What it is really about to do is destroy the simplicity, add layers of expectation that are impossible for the locals, steal the good land and pretty women, and take the prime food, water sources, and whatever else could equate to easier living and greater wealth. Conquistadors are actually better. They are honest about it, up front. The others hide guns behind smiling faces and skirts who go out to teach and help the people "transition" (aka social workers). They even bring law and order which is totally on their side. Oh, I'm not in to reparations or anti-colonial, at all. Christ actually... suggested doing just that, and He certainly was not a pacifist, merely a sacrifice in that time. There are martyrs and their are soldiers of Christ. Doing His work is simply sometimes... rather bloody. And we can't always do it well, and abuse the notions from time to time... or often... whole cloth too often. Still... it's how life goes, and will go, with or without Christian notions. Rome was similar, as were Khan, Attila, Alexander the Great. More honestly than modern globalists, but the results were quite similar. But without Christian notions... the... urhm... resettlements are... much less advantageous to the indigenous. As we are seeing with globalists.
Never mind. As I mentioned, last night was an ugly thing. Sleep was just stupid, sloppy, and almost more irritating than pleasing. I woke well enough. I think I am feeling okay. I am hoping to grab a shower and get to town, even as late as it is, though I am not sure what I can do. But... something struck me today. Like a bolt from the blue, I just became jazzed, juiced, electrified almost literally. Yum! It's the feeling, if much more fleeting, like when someone attacks me. It is walking on the wind. In those moments, so very rare as they are, that I can carry the world on my shoulders while juggling golden apples and figuring out how to give the world back, all without missing a blink. It's those moments when body, mind, and soul are at their peak. Oh, but... lads and lasses... that was a beautiful touching gift from God. I won't say the corner has been turned. I will say that I saw the light. If it is an oncoming train? It's mine or I will take it.
I have been trying to configure something in my mind. My mom wants to visit, but when she visits she wants to redo the floor in the kitchen. I can't do that this year. Money, energy, time, health, add others, repeat twice for good measure, then take a nap! No, not this year. Next spring. Sometime through this year I will be buying her tickets. Then I will be saving. I have no idea, so far, how much it will cost. I am thinking... oh... $2k -$3k for a humble job, just for components. I plan on redoing down to and including the sub-flooring. I would love to redo the cabinetry, but that, if it ever does get done, will have to be homemade, and even that will be expensive just in materials. I will probably have to redo the flooring under them at the same time. I can do that one wall at a time in smaller doses, though. Yeah, I'll need a pit boss and cosponsor... i.e. a nag with some mojo. Thankfully, for me, if I have someone to track things, a wall of 3/4" plywood isn't beyond my ability to handle. I am almost two men if someone else is around to help guide at corners or be brains for when brawn has used up that capacity. However, I don't trust women to these things, so need to make up a plan and keep her to it beforehand. She's a good whip, not an engineer. And she might try to slide on things like leveling. No huh-uh. No will do. Perfect, or as perfect as I can get it.
Anyway, yeah... I've figured out that problem. It was ruminating in my haunted rooms, giving me no peace when it would rise from the mists and attack. Handled.
This spring and summer is all about getting my shop in order, then redoing the bathroom floor, and finally fitting the water heater and new toilet. I think I can, I think I can, I... nap? Did someone say nap? :p The spring burn might be just what I need to kick the caboose into prime time. If I keep on my meds and pack light enough to manage an easy return... it will do just that. And... it is coming into spring, then summer, not ending and dropping into winter. I will have little choice but to find my zenith.
Later.
.
What is happening I can't be sure. It's not sickness, though medicine might be playing some odd part, as with weather. As the days heat up, I am having difficulty adjusting the thermostat just right. The days are too hot right until they hit frigid. I can sense the relative heat out there. It's already creeping in. So, perhaps, my schedule is changing as my body chases the cool. I really do prefer cool. As does my body... two very different entities, mind you... not always in accord. Like a magnet, with cool being north, and the seasonal change being a slow magnetic change, I didn't notice this particular, and potent shift. I have finally nailed down what my seasonal problem is. It's two-fold. Light. But full spectrum lamps don't actually help. And temperatures, but radiant not "felt"... or natural worldly temps, not what a furnace can offer. And, really, it is when those are in greatest flux that I have the most problems. Cold? I love it. Heat? If it is dry I can rise above it, surf it sort of... mostly... if I have a cool cave to escape within as needed. But this flux leaves everything all crazy and all over the place. I don't think there is a solution to it. It must simply be suffered, as with much of life. King to pauper, knight to lady, life is about suffering what cannot be changed, changing what can be, and attempting to gain the wisdom to know the difference. My age and health actually aren't large parts of the problem, or yet. This thing is all it's own. I wonder if the equator would hold any solutions? Yeah, for stability. But also for third-world living.
I think there is much to be said for withstanding suffering. Look at the nations which live in weather, or seasonal, "paradise", and their lack of advancement. These places have, and probably never will, advance. In these nations, when you have eaten, your job is done. Shade you can find under a tree. Clothes aren't terribly necessary. I suppose a hut can be built, if you are bored. Maybe boats, goes to food. If food becomes scarce, just kill each other until there isn't a problem with food again. I suppose you could call these places the fallen gardens of Eden. That being both a blessing and a curse. And... all good until iron boats and big boom-booms show up. Well, honestly, no better or worse than civilized nations, just much simpler... if perhaps a bit more honest, and always imperiled. Yeah... no. I'll stick with large landmasses, the four seasons, the Northern Hemisphere, and right proper suffering.
Have you ever noticed, when even a beneficent advanced civilization shows up, and decides to help? What it is really about to do is destroy the simplicity, add layers of expectation that are impossible for the locals, steal the good land and pretty women, and take the prime food, water sources, and whatever else could equate to easier living and greater wealth. Conquistadors are actually better. They are honest about it, up front. The others hide guns behind smiling faces and skirts who go out to teach and help the people "transition" (aka social workers). They even bring law and order which is totally on their side. Oh, I'm not in to reparations or anti-colonial, at all. Christ actually... suggested doing just that, and He certainly was not a pacifist, merely a sacrifice in that time. There are martyrs and their are soldiers of Christ. Doing His work is simply sometimes... rather bloody. And we can't always do it well, and abuse the notions from time to time... or often... whole cloth too often. Still... it's how life goes, and will go, with or without Christian notions. Rome was similar, as were Khan, Attila, Alexander the Great. More honestly than modern globalists, but the results were quite similar. But without Christian notions... the... urhm... resettlements are... much less advantageous to the indigenous. As we are seeing with globalists.
Never mind. As I mentioned, last night was an ugly thing. Sleep was just stupid, sloppy, and almost more irritating than pleasing. I woke well enough. I think I am feeling okay. I am hoping to grab a shower and get to town, even as late as it is, though I am not sure what I can do. But... something struck me today. Like a bolt from the blue, I just became jazzed, juiced, electrified almost literally. Yum! It's the feeling, if much more fleeting, like when someone attacks me. It is walking on the wind. In those moments, so very rare as they are, that I can carry the world on my shoulders while juggling golden apples and figuring out how to give the world back, all without missing a blink. It's those moments when body, mind, and soul are at their peak. Oh, but... lads and lasses... that was a beautiful touching gift from God. I won't say the corner has been turned. I will say that I saw the light. If it is an oncoming train? It's mine or I will take it.
I have been trying to configure something in my mind. My mom wants to visit, but when she visits she wants to redo the floor in the kitchen. I can't do that this year. Money, energy, time, health, add others, repeat twice for good measure, then take a nap! No, not this year. Next spring. Sometime through this year I will be buying her tickets. Then I will be saving. I have no idea, so far, how much it will cost. I am thinking... oh... $2k -$3k for a humble job, just for components. I plan on redoing down to and including the sub-flooring. I would love to redo the cabinetry, but that, if it ever does get done, will have to be homemade, and even that will be expensive just in materials. I will probably have to redo the flooring under them at the same time. I can do that one wall at a time in smaller doses, though. Yeah, I'll need a pit boss and cosponsor... i.e. a nag with some mojo. Thankfully, for me, if I have someone to track things, a wall of 3/4" plywood isn't beyond my ability to handle. I am almost two men if someone else is around to help guide at corners or be brains for when brawn has used up that capacity. However, I don't trust women to these things, so need to make up a plan and keep her to it beforehand. She's a good whip, not an engineer. And she might try to slide on things like leveling. No huh-uh. No will do. Perfect, or as perfect as I can get it.
Anyway, yeah... I've figured out that problem. It was ruminating in my haunted rooms, giving me no peace when it would rise from the mists and attack. Handled.
This spring and summer is all about getting my shop in order, then redoing the bathroom floor, and finally fitting the water heater and new toilet. I think I can, I think I can, I... nap? Did someone say nap? :p The spring burn might be just what I need to kick the caboose into prime time. If I keep on my meds and pack light enough to manage an easy return... it will do just that. And... it is coming into spring, then summer, not ending and dropping into winter. I will have little choice but to find my zenith.
Later.
I made it to bed. I did not make it to sleep.
.
.
Down at 1:00, up at 3:00. Sleep was so close and yet so far. Feed has been off too. I have tried to eat. Since I had food ready too cook, I thought to go ahead with it. I even, mostly, kept up on the dishes. I pressured cooked thighs and drumsticks to well done, let them cool, then floured, dipped in egg, and finally coated in panko. I wondered if my favorite food would... help. Nah. Food just doesn't taste good. A bite and I feel full. Three bites and I hit a wall and feel stuffed. And it, none of it, tastes good. I don't think my system is digesting food. It seems to just sit in there. Bleh. Still, I gave it a stab.
I don't know what is going on, but lately I get the feeling I am stepping on toes, near and far. Is everybody, my men friends as well, all of a sudden on the rag? WTF? I don't care. I have tried to explain things. At least for one, that seems enough. Do I just talk (write) too much? Do I get my peoples in trouble? I just don't know. If there women read here, or if they see where I am going, perhaps they... That might be it. Women, Catholic, Mormon, Jewish... don't like my notions. And if they are in a particularly rebellious mood, or feeling exceptionally equal, or vulnerable, or just moody, they can send a lot o' hate my way, and direct it at their men. There is that. Funny thing is, a personal visit clears up all of that almost instantly. Easy, for women especially, to hate from a distance, and sight unseen. Though, on some topics... they can retain little undercurrents, eddies, of hate. But then, many women have that. It's the nature of the beast and the natural animosity between men and women. It's... actually a God-given checks and balance to... maintain order.
I'm not too worried about it, save when the men folk start... grumbling and rumbling. I'm never too sure if the women folk have broken them down or if they are in agreement on some point. Then again, it is nearing spring and people are just a little grumpy when spring takes it's time to arrive. I can just hibernate a wee longer, if need be. Not all have that option.
I am still going to see about getting to town. I might try a nap, in a bit. The hope would be to wake in time to shower, primp, and get to town in time for a number of things. Bleh... It's going to be tough. Later.
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Down at 1:00, up at 3:00. Sleep was so close and yet so far. Feed has been off too. I have tried to eat. Since I had food ready too cook, I thought to go ahead with it. I even, mostly, kept up on the dishes. I pressured cooked thighs and drumsticks to well done, let them cool, then floured, dipped in egg, and finally coated in panko. I wondered if my favorite food would... help. Nah. Food just doesn't taste good. A bite and I feel full. Three bites and I hit a wall and feel stuffed. And it, none of it, tastes good. I don't think my system is digesting food. It seems to just sit in there. Bleh. Still, I gave it a stab.
I don't know what is going on, but lately I get the feeling I am stepping on toes, near and far. Is everybody, my men friends as well, all of a sudden on the rag? WTF? I don't care. I have tried to explain things. At least for one, that seems enough. Do I just talk (write) too much? Do I get my peoples in trouble? I just don't know. If there women read here, or if they see where I am going, perhaps they... That might be it. Women, Catholic, Mormon, Jewish... don't like my notions. And if they are in a particularly rebellious mood, or feeling exceptionally equal, or vulnerable, or just moody, they can send a lot o' hate my way, and direct it at their men. There is that. Funny thing is, a personal visit clears up all of that almost instantly. Easy, for women especially, to hate from a distance, and sight unseen. Though, on some topics... they can retain little undercurrents, eddies, of hate. But then, many women have that. It's the nature of the beast and the natural animosity between men and women. It's... actually a God-given checks and balance to... maintain order.
I'm not too worried about it, save when the men folk start... grumbling and rumbling. I'm never too sure if the women folk have broken them down or if they are in agreement on some point. Then again, it is nearing spring and people are just a little grumpy when spring takes it's time to arrive. I can just hibernate a wee longer, if need be. Not all have that option.
I am still going to see about getting to town. I might try a nap, in a bit. The hope would be to wake in time to shower, primp, and get to town in time for a number of things. Bleh... It's going to be tough. Later.
Bedtime?
.
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Strange. But it looks like the lights are going out in Georgia. All good. I sleep when I can, or when I have to sleep, tailoring it as much as I am able. Waking at 17:00 means I have only been awake for... seven hours? But I am going to hit it, without choice, if gladly. This is about what time I want to sleep, if the outer edge of the target. I will simply set the alarm for 8:00 and see what happens. Of course, that means I didn't get to much. I'm good with that, if I can get back on a day schedule. Crazy.
I think the common term to use here would be something like "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth". Mind you, I think, if that saying truly emanates from the siege and destruction of Troy, assuming the story of said is true and all the mechanics work out, then the saying is idiotic. Check the mouth of every horse that is gifted. Perhaps do a colonoscopy while you are at it! Check every gift unless you have the strength to ignore any hidden traps, tricks, or strings.
Use some... horse sense, and gloves... while checking. Just... saying.
I couldn't eat much again tonight. I simply am not hungry. I forced a bit of it down, this time. Something is just a wee off. Nothing terrible. I will survive.
Tomorrow? If I get up at eight, and depending on if I need a nap, I will be getting into town, soon or late. If I can. That is the plan. A bit of shopping. But mostly I want to check in on my friend. I'm a lousy friend, but... I am a friend. I want to see how his computer is doing, whether he has it hooked up, and if I can help in any way. Then take him out for a meal. He has been eating cod lately, almost every time. I was stuck on that for a long time too. I understand. Actually, at our usual spot, I am stuck on spicy italian sausage omelets, hold the green pepper, exchange for mushrooms.
It would be nice to get out. It's just been... winterish lately. Not quite that cold. No snow. Just dark. Though my sleep schedule might make it so that I wouldn't even see the sun, mostly. Hmm, yeah... Bedtime. Good night.
.
Strange. But it looks like the lights are going out in Georgia. All good. I sleep when I can, or when I have to sleep, tailoring it as much as I am able. Waking at 17:00 means I have only been awake for... seven hours? But I am going to hit it, without choice, if gladly. This is about what time I want to sleep, if the outer edge of the target. I will simply set the alarm for 8:00 and see what happens. Of course, that means I didn't get to much. I'm good with that, if I can get back on a day schedule. Crazy.
I couldn't eat much again tonight. I simply am not hungry. I forced a bit of it down, this time. Something is just a wee off. Nothing terrible. I will survive.
Tomorrow? If I get up at eight, and depending on if I need a nap, I will be getting into town, soon or late. If I can. That is the plan. A bit of shopping. But mostly I want to check in on my friend. I'm a lousy friend, but... I am a friend. I want to see how his computer is doing, whether he has it hooked up, and if I can help in any way. Then take him out for a meal. He has been eating cod lately, almost every time. I was stuck on that for a long time too. I understand. Actually, at our usual spot, I am stuck on spicy italian sausage omelets, hold the green pepper, exchange for mushrooms.
It would be nice to get out. It's just been... winterish lately. Not quite that cold. No snow. Just dark. Though my sleep schedule might make it so that I wouldn't even see the sun, mostly. Hmm, yeah... Bedtime. Good night.
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