Well, more yet.

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Another load was set, but needed to be washed again.  Something in it, I think Sassy, a hairball.  She loves to aim for my clothes.  Whatever, It'll be done shortly.  After resetting that, I got out to the line.  Everything was dry, so I pulled it, took it on upstairs.

It is time to begin going through... everything.  Tossing things, as much as possible.  Though, too, I would like to start using some things.  I have a folding board, for tshirts.  Seems a strange thing, but I really do like to have my shirts folded.  Well, and even my short sleeve cotton weave types... dress or work type.

But, yes.  From now on, as I go through things, I am beginning to toss.  In the laundry room, in the bathroom, upstairs, and wherever.  I need to get rid of things that I either can't, won't, or don't use.  And am unlikely to use.  Now, I will wear old shirts.  But I really need to begin going through them again.  If they are mostly good, I may save them for a rag bag.  But if they are thin, or have many holes, or such, they really need to go.  A wife, mostly, would do this.  Or, would have at some time.  Women hate such things, on their men, for some strange reason.  I've... fought, and lost, that war with many a woman.  Even good, obedient, women will not obey on some things.  Damn but I like the cut of their jibs.  Face down even Doom, when it comes to some things.  *grins*

I am hoping to do a bit more weed whipping.  No work on branches, today.  Maybe tomorrow.  Part of the area I am trimming is where I want to set up the wood, for a minor burn pile.  I have some there already, will have more.  As well, would like to create a small area for smaller branches, twigs, broken to burn lengths.  Just... in case.  The world is growing dark, cold, and dangerous.  This wood wouldn't last me a winter, but it might cover shortcomings, gaps in access.  And, yes, I believe it may be part of what is planned.  Cull those who can't survive, or won't think their way out of death.  They would kill us in droves, if they thought they could without paying too high of a price.  Though, at some point, as in Europe, the "leaders" may just say, screw it, kill all our people.  And... aim to do exactly that.

A warm, relatively nice day.  Almost too warm.  Save that... as the warm days evaporate, I'll enjoy what I can.  It is actually still cool in here.  Upstairs, on my side... usually the warmer side, it was only 69.  Down here, with the front door open now, and the machine and myself here and going for a while, it is 79.  Actually cooler outside, if just by a degree.  It may have hit 80, but I think was down to 78 last time I looked.  Not a bad day, at least with fall approaching.  The summer is trying to give us something more, an easing into fall.  A final pleasantry.

Well... I should go check the laundry.  I will also set up dishes, and wash the freezertop down after setting those up.  It is still clear, so all good.  Perhaps one more load of laundry?  No, not today.  But I will have it ready to soap and run tomorrow morning.  I may do a bit more trimming though.  When I take laundry out to dry.  But that will probably be it.  Except maybe folding tshirts as I go to bed.

And, if things stay good, I may take the bedding out for a bit of airing.  It doesn't terribly need it, with the weekly turning, flipping, and changing.  But that last airing didn't create a perfect result.  Not bad.  Just... another run, soon, would be good.  Then, again, say in December, or January.  Cold or not, out it will go, or so the plan is.  Every three to four months, more if I can.  One of the items that has been washed and dried, was one of the flat sheets I used on the mats.  I thought about changing it, but decided to wait.  Until the whole thing gets aired out.  Ugh.

Some things, today.  Some more, before I sleep.  And, solid plans for tomorrow.  I like the way this week is shaping up.  I might be dying, I am for sure, though fast or slow I can never be certain.  But, until I do, I have... things to do.  So very many things.  And, if I can, I will.  Good day.

Extra achy!

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The little bit I did, today, caught me off-guard.  Aches, pains, and a minor headache, for my efforts.  Still, if I can do more, I will.  I'll check the laundry.  What is to go out, I'll hang.  What is to be dried will be put in with the few items from the earlier load.

I'd like to do more trimming, but that just won't happen today.  Tomorrow, I hope.  Oh, and... not sure about dishes.  Though much is ready to be rinsed, hand dried, then set out to air dry.  I only, first, have to wash the freezertop.  I'll... get at least that done today.

Being out was pleasant.  I hope to be out more tomorrow.  Even if it is just an half hour, or hour.  Though a couple of hours out, a bit earlier and a bit later, would be very good.  It warms me up even a bit more.  And, currently, while not cold, or even cool, I have not been warm.  The sun does good things to the body.  Especially this time of year.

I decided to get to town, get a meal.  Nothing fancy, not healthy, but warm and filling.  It's been a while since I have been able to eat a good filling meal.  The meals I have made recently just weren't... interesting.  I couldn't eat much.  Most of it got tossed.  Not that it was bad, just... not... I wasn't able to eat it.  People pay decent money for some of what I made.  It's just, if I can't eat, or it, I... simply can't.  I need meat.  Not even pasta will replace that need.

I'm almost ready for bed already.  I just don't quite want to lay in this early.  Just about 16:00, five till.

Some days I feel death.  It's just here, in me, with me.  It hurts, in a way.  It is tiring.  Exhausting, of flesh.  I don't think it's soon to come, but it's also not ever far away.  I swear, with the civility it handles me, it must be a relative.  So very tired.  Sore and achy.  But... good.  I'll keep at it, as I may.  Later, or goodnight.

Not fast, not all of it, but...

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Laundry, started last night, put out on the line today.  As well, I got the weed whip out and going.  I couldn't do much, but I did get a pretty heavily weeded area edged.  The inside remains, but... I started.  Oh, and got a shower too.  Then, I started another load of laundry.  Nothing fancy, but it is a start.  

I had been trying to call my brother.  He hasn't answered the last few times.  Didn't answer this time, but he did call back.  At least I had something to say, had a few things done.  He has things to do, tired but has to work.  So, he had to move along.

It was 78 out there, when last I checked.  Sort of amazing.  That warm, this late?  No problems, just a bit of a surprise.  

I am hungry.  So... not sure what to do.  I will definitely do a bit of shopping this coming month.  Meats, mostly.  I have used everything down to what is too old, and not even much of that.  Burger, roasts, chicken, anything on sale.  Chops too?  I need to put a bit in, and some extra.  I had hoped to bulk buy burger, and can some of it.  Not sure if that is possible this month.  But, soon, perhaps.  Some can chicken, not sure I could do that.  Roast beef, with onions and veggies, might be possible.  In time.  Though as weak as I have become, I'm just not sure.

I have so much stacked up, to do, and am getting to so little of it.  So tired.  I just don't know how to work my way around things.  Will keep trying, thinking, hoping.  Well, at least I had some time to speak with my brother and mother recently, did some work, am sleeping well, and staying warm?  I just wish I could hit a lot of work.  I literally have no energy.  Every time I get some work done, I crash.  Ugh.  Still, I will do my best.  Later.

The beard?

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I had wondered why I was so warm, while it cools.  Sleeping a lot, I think because it is growing darker?  Maybe.  It isn't because I am cold.  Or even cool.  In spite of it being well below 70 lately.  Usually that is rather cool, if not cold.  I am warm, right down to my feet.  No cramps.  I don't even need all of my blankets.  And I still use the fan, at night, for extra air.

I couldn't wake until nearly eleven.  Sleeping well.  Not hurting in any real way.  Oh, minor aches and pains, but so minor I don't really count them as anything other than... a mild reminder that I yet live?  That shoulder, though, is oddly still a pained thing.  The left shoulder.  I have worked on it. Creating minor tasks, to stretch it, from time to time.  Using it specifically to work on things.  That has helped, but not as it could.  Sometimes, for a week at a time, it eases.  But then it's right back to trouble.

Still, awake.  So, I'll... see what I can do today.  Later.

Sewing labels?

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Actually, yes.  I have been thinking about them.  Looking up how people get them done.  This program, that set up, then printed by this company?  There had to be an easier way.  And, so, I kept looking.  And I found, potentially, an affordable, easy enough method.

The logo?  How about this?

Doom's

       Designs

Now, I am using a more oldschool font, but this is what was available to give some idea.  What do you think?  When I make a shirt, or else, I will put this in the collar.  Or, even if I make a scarf, for my mother?  I'll add this to it.  She'll know.  And laugh.  There was a time, perhaps, she had... real worries.  That her son would... turn out... mean, harsh.  Oh, well, and I am.  Just... no where near what she feared.

She never really did understand that I wasn't interested in being mean.  I was simply given no choice at times.  Given any sort of a choice, I will choose, the better path.  Given no choice, I will run it until one of us quits or is dead.  I have no interest in killing, or being killed, or even being beaten or beating someone.  But, I am extraordinarily good at it, or was once.  

The moniker is true.  In many ways.  A gift, or curse, from God?

Anyway...  Dinner, I... it didn't work.  So, I am trying a different thing.  Then a shower.  Then dishes.  Then bed.  Later, but whatever.  Later, or goodnight.

The game, anyway.

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I finally finished the game on the hardest level.  It took a while.  No real reason to do it, just... checking something off a list.  Then I called my mother.  Her eyes are twitching.  New glasses, out picking tomatoes for part of the day.  It... happens.  The older we get, the less it takes to cause eyes to twitch, muscles to spasm or hurt, and else.  Still, every day is another opportunity.

I keep her, and the family, in my prayers.  Even, especially, the ones who don't like me.  I won't even say I blame them.  If, too, I think disliking someone is a personal problem.  Doesn't hurt me at all.  *grins*  Family, local, distant, knowing, guessing, if you hate me, you... only trouble yourself.  And... why would you continue to visit?  I know why.  Do you?  *chuckles*

I'll get that shower.  Oh, but first, I will start a load of laundry.  That will buy me some time, to get ready to shower.  Then set up dishes, and wash the freezertop.  I will get those three things done tonight.  I will!  Probably.  :p  Okay, laundry is going.  As is a meal.  Everything is clear, for a shower, once the water has run it's course.  Then, dishes.  I am almost sure I can get these things done.  Plus clear the litter boxes.  I think I did earlier, but will check them again.  And get fresh water for her.  Later.

Not much.

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I did turn the heat up.  If not, again, until later.  I'm not sure it is helping.  It was 76 outside, last I looked.  Now?  74, at 16:38.  Already cooling.

I haven't been getting out, working.  Tomorrow.  Maybe that will help?  A shower, tonight, for sure.  Medicine, making sure to get insulin in.  I have been eating more carby, but that isn't the whole of the problem.  I have been trying to get the slow acting, once a day, insulin to take over the whole job.  But I am at 50 cc's, and even when I do very well with keto, and eat lightly on top of it, it isn't working.  Not sure it can work.  Still, I'll... add a few more cc's, test, rest there for a bit, and add more if required.  That's a crazy lot of insulin.  Perhaps that stuff just doesn't work with me, and I really do need the slow acting stuff?  Dunno.

A shower, dishes, and a load of laundry, today.  It's not much.  More of a start for the week.  All good, really, but...  Tomorrow, I will hit the yard.  Weed whipping, cutting and moving some of the bigger branches, perhaps cutting those down to firewood lengths.  And, perhaps, some work in the kitchen.

And, sometime this week, I'd like to get grains stored properly.  Wheat, steel cut oats, rice, and beans are all really ready to go.  I have buckets, mylar bags, oxygen absorbers, and if I think it's needed, silicon packs.  Not so needed out here, especially in what is becoming a true drought.  They have cut our water usage in half.  Not so much a problem for me, and more an expense than a problem, so far, for others.  But, yeah.

Oh, and boxes and this room.  What work when?  I can't be certain.  But, with a new week, even if I am having troubles getting going, I will hit it this week.  If it kills me, I need to get to it.  Later.

Awake.

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I was to bed by 22:00, maybe up to a quarter after.  Still not waking until nearly ten, I'd guess 09:30.  I don't understand why I am sleeping so late.  Darker.  I'll bet that is is.  Because, while it is cooler, I have easily acclimated to that.  I think it read 65 upstairs, near me.  It is 66/68/70 down here.  And 62 outdoors, but a very warm 62, somehow.  The sun is warm!  It isn't always.  Odd that it is cooler near the computer than in the main of this room, for the first time I have seen it.

Sunday?  It must be.  Yep.  At least I am remembering the day.  For what little good it does me.  Same with work.  I've got a wonderful list, but haven't been able to get to the list.  Mostly.  A few things, slowly.  A shower this morning, first thing.  Then dishes in for a final rinse.  With the freezertop clear, I can give it a quick wash and have dishes drying on it when they are done.

The roast I made was a bit... old.  So, oh well.  I'll try the other foods.  May all be too old.  Will find out shortly.  Really would like something good to eat, have to wait until payday.  Ugh.

Well.  On to waking.  A bit of online browsing, then gaming, then a shower... and dishes... maybe some laundry?  We'll see.  Later.

Not going to happen.

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Too tired?  Not really.  Not sure what the problem is.  I simply haven't been able to get going.  Well, not much.  I did a bit of cleaning earlier, am doing a roast currently, and will shower.  I may do a small or larger part of a task later.  But... it's not going well for work today.

I want to work.  Trimming weeds, putting in an air filter, you know... things like that.  Even doing some wood work, and such.  Small trees, sprigs from trees, branches to cuttings, and stacked.  Lots of things.  But I just can't get to it.

On the good side, I am mostly staying up on medicine.  Missed insulin last night, but... that will happen.  Slept very well, and warmly without being too hot.  It was a good night.  And plenty of sleep.  Further, I didn't feel cold, waking this morning.  I am quite comfortable.

Meh.  I'll get a shower in shortly.  After the roast is finished.  Plus a mix of veggies, for a side.  I thought it was corn, but it is hominy.  That works fine.  In with green peas and mushrooms.  Not fancy, but it'll do well.  Perhaps more tomorrow, or Monday.  I'll pray for more, do what I may.  Later.

So late?

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I did a very few very small things, while the machine was starting up.  And, as I sit, it is already 11:00!?!  I went to bed early, like... 20:30?  Probably no more than an quarter hour either way of that.  So why the long sleep?  It is cooler up there, 65 near me, 63 out in the room.  Not sure how cool it got last night, outside, but that is a cool as it got in here.  Outdoors, currently is 63.  The house is 65 back in the main, 70 up front here... strangely.

I didn't sleep cold.  I was warm all night.  Not even too warm.  It was as perfect a night as I have slept in... I can't even say how long.  I flipped the mattresses, and they are still smelling quite fresh.  So I won't air them today.  Only because I have other plans.  But I may do them yet before winter hits, just because it is easier to do in the warmer weather.

I will be doing one last treatment on the water softener, then just doing that yearly thereafter, at the first of the month.  That would be a good time to air out the mattresses again.  Then just do quarters, after that.

I dreamed... of many things.  I one, I was somehow required to live back in a city.  Pretty much all that was available was coops.  I just kept my eyes open, head down, and began my search for a place.  They were all pretty much the same, the trick was to find a place which prefers less drama.  It was an extensive dream, like a well done mini-series on television, when those used to be well done.  I enjoyed it, the complexities, difficulties, character involvements, and such.  Didn't like being there, but, was making the best of it.

Then, I dreamed of the first girl I had sex with.  While I was her first, she wasn't... blind to the world.  We found each other.  I don't remember her name, or such.  I was, say, eight or nine, we were.  Neither of us really knew what it was all about, but we both had been stirred to these things, and needed to begin sorting, figuring them out.  She was one of the most delicious dishes I can remember.  Something about the ease, simplicity, innocence even.

I don't remember what she looked like, in part because today I wouldn't find her... sexy.  Maybe I didn't even then, merely mutually approachable, interested, and capable to be together, one for the other.  Would probably have become a famous thing, if I hadn't moved.  I can't remember where I lived, at the time, either.  Greely?  Or after.  Otis, Akron?  I just can't remember.  There were others before and after, for better or worse.  But that was the standout good one until I was older by another five to six years.

Oh, and while at the coop town, dream, I bought a washing machine that would stop, midcycle, and twist everything twenty five, fifteen, five... I think twenty five degrees.  Used no more water, but took longer.  In the dream, it did clean better.  I think this part of the dream has to do with something I realized before the dreams I remember.

As I was turning, last night, and recently?  I realized I was only turning 180 degrees in the bed.  Either laying flat on the left or right side.  But, I am sore, often.  From sleeping.  So, last night, I decided to try angles.  And that really did help!  I thought of, if I roll in twenty five degree (or just a rough number in my head, as a concept number, rather than just two angles), perhaps that would be better.  And, last night, I really tried to do variations.  More like thirty to forty five degrees, in practice,  And only, say, 280 degrees of the full circle, as I can't sleep on my belly, and actually only on my back for a short bit.  But, the idea was sound.  And, I woke less pained than usual lately.  So... beside being seed for that part of that dream, it did actually work out.  Now, if I can just remember to do it.

Oh, well... by why so late?  It's comfortable down here.  I slept warmly enough, without getting hot.  Of course, blankets were redone while turning the mats.  Oh well.  I will... do some goofing, drinking, and maybe eating, in order to wake up.  Then get on to a few things.  I'd like to hit the weeds today.  And, maybe, cut some trees and scrub.  Then get to dishes, and maybe do a roast.  I could make turkey burger crumble, and... some other things.  Cleaning the oven would be good.  And boxes?  All of it?  Sure, I'd like to.  Not sure if it's all possible, but that is sort of the plan.

Have a great day.  Yes, I did pray for your sorry lot, last night.  Mine too.  :p

Well?

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I didn't get to work.  I did get warm.  Tomorrow?  Tomorrow.  I started warming too late for it to really work out as hoped.  But, tomorrow, if I heat the place up earlier, maybe.  It just doesn't warm up in the afternoons, as it had been.  Still, I... did sort of formulate a plan.  Oh, and I did clear the freezertop, so can look for food.

Nope, rather than wait on that, I got to it.  Meat has been pulled, is thawing.  All good.  A roast, ground turkey, a steak, and... a few other things.  And, I put the last of the meats... almost... into the refrigerator freezer.  There is a bit left in the freezer, if I'm not certain it is in great shape.  Will find out soon enough.

Getting stuck on the rubik's cube.  May have to go back and figure out what I am doing wrong.  I know which stage, just not sure how to solve it.  Am finding strange, to me, cues.  Odd, but okay.  I'll work it out.  Getting faster with sudoku, but maybe my fastest days are done?  Then again, I haven't been playing sets over and over.  That was how I got much faster, much more quickly.  And, yes, with this system, I can do it.  I should do some raw, new, games each day, but also repeat a few.  It isn't memorization, it is learning to see the methods, and patterns.  Initially it seems as if it is memory, but later, when I see something similar, on a new puzzle, I get it.  Or am more likely to get it.

On to bed.  Hmm... I'll flip and flop the mats tonight, check them out.  See if they could use some airing out.  That is a lot of work.  They do weigh a decent little amount.  And, these days, I am always tired.  Still, I really like the fresh smell.  And, perhaps, if I keep up on airing them out, there will come a time when it really is more permanently fresher smelling.  If it's a bit rough, even with flipping and flopping the mattresses weekly, I will air them out again tomorrow.  Or, plan on it.

Sleep well.  I'll keep you in my prayers.  Goodnight.

Canceled.

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Fair enough.  I want more than they would pay, and they want to buy this on the cheap.  Cool.  I am still going to get to work.  I just don't have as much of a hard deadline.  I was just finishing breakfast, so... I have the coffee left.  Then to digest things a bit.  Then on to work.  The house is warmer.  Which is very good.

I told him I had tried to get a loan, for home improvements, but they wanted $10k on top of interest, plus the $30k.  He was shocked by it, and seems to work in this field.  Or... he was just sympathizing?  But it sounded like that surprised him, in a bad way, too.  Yea.  They are looking for those who need it bad, or just want out at any cost.

He told me some things I am pretty sure weren't... accurate.  At least not locally.  Maybe where he is from?  Don't know.  But, yeah, no.  All good.

I'll get to work in a few hours.  Good to have canceled.  And, fair enough.  I know I am asking a bit high.  But, too, he is asking a bit low.  There really isn't ground for negotiation.  And... rent, for a reasonable place, in Argentina or Cambodia, up to western standards, would cost as much as my mortgage.  But, there would be little space.  Not sure how shut down things are, due to covid, too.

Restaurants, cabs, and who knows what else, in many places, have been impacted.  Some places which were closed down, even when the countries involved opened back up, have struggled to find workers.  The hard work, for the little pay, makes it difficult.  People are enjoying not working, rather than killing themselves for a few fiddly dollars, especially as inflation in other countries is even worse than here.  Working for almost nothing, and having that become worth less almost by the time you are paid?  Tough.  So... not sure visiting would be great, quite yet.  May never be good to travel again.  And, I am not sure street foods, while probably available, would be... even safe.

Oh well.  But, as mentioned, I didn't think this was going to work out.  If I want to sell the house, I would have to get her cleaned up, get a more accurate appraisal, and perhaps list it.  I'm just... that would require an open house, and... more than I am sure I want to mess with.  While prices definitely haven't been dropping, they have stopped going up so far.  Maybe very locally they have been, but... I don't think so.  Now, they may be heading down, but that is... in the future.  And, if they keep raising rates, prices have to drop.

People, between being let go from work, earning less when they remain employed, and with explosive inflation, people won't pay more because they couldn't if they wanted to.  To be honest, unlike before?  I am not sure this will ever change again.  Governments, around the world, have decided to undercut, cull even, their populations.  I'm not sure the world will ever get better again in my lifetime.  If so, when it goes down?  It's going way down.  Americans started out that way.  I think America may have been better for it.  We will see.

I'll do some gaming, while I get breakfast sorted in there.  Then to boxes in the living room.  And, on to other efforts, between rest periods.  Having the heat on really is pleasant, though, too.  Good day, and weekend.  Later.

Well, I best get to things.

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It simply has been too cool to get to work.  I realized that, but was hoping I would acclimate and get going.  And, I may have.  But, with a visitor coming, I best get some things done.  And I am not acclimating fast enough to fall weather.  So... the furnace has been turned on, and up a bit.  More if needed.

I'm going to have something to eat, a fatted coffee, a bit of time warming and digesting, then to boxes in this room, and sorting and setting boxes in the bedroom on the other portion.  As well as some picking up, today.  Tomorrow?  More on the boxes in the living room, some cleaning in the kitchen and bathroom.

I have, really, four days to work.  I will have to use all of them.  It won't be enough, but it is what I have got.  And, so, the heat will be required.  I don't know how much I can actually do, but it's... possible.  To get much of what I am seeing finished.  Maybe.  Assuming I don't overdo, fall, and fail.  It could happen.

Work, work, work.  I doubt if the sale would go through.  But... you never know.  I have a preferred price, a negotiated price, and a bottom dollar.  Though, with the bottom dollar, I won't be in a rush.  Top dollar, I'll figure out how to be out in a hurry, if they want it.  Life only seems complicated.  It is rather easy.  And, on the good side?  I don't need to sell.  I am in a pretty good place, given other options.

Oh, and on the good side?  Since I don't believe they will even get close to my buyout price, in real terms?  I'm not worried this time.  It's just an opportunity to push through some cleaning.  As a fact, I pretty much know they won't offer even my minimum price.  But, what they hey, offers me a challenge to clean and clear.  And will kick of fall.  And get me off my tired, cold, butt!  Later.

Another buyout call for the house.

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I am guessing they are required to call a certain number of people a day.  But, they really aren't buying.  So, they just call, do a review, then... do nothing.  Once a corporation sets things up, to buy houses, it is expected that that be done.  But, if the reality no longer fits the bill, all they do is play the game.  Call, take notes, then... maybe never even pass it on to the money man.

They used to pass it on.  I got one actual quote.  And I got three calls from people, who talked about buying, but never even offered a quote.  Well, it's something to do between sudoku, rubik's cube practice, and games of other sorts, as I wake.  Ten to one, I'll not hear a thing from the money guy.  The last three or four it just stopped after the initial interview.

For the right price, I will be gone in a few months.  I'm thinking, first, Argentina.  Maybe next year, if travel is easier, a year in Cambodia... with short visits to Vietnam.  Vietnam has been on my list for a long time, a few places named, people some of my people... visited... before.  I'd like to hike a few places, see a few places, understand a few things.  The old guys, stories.  I'd like to visit the Philippines, but they require the vax still.  Some governments were completely corrupted by the vax corporations and US government... the bad side of it.  The Philippines is one of those, unfortunately for everyone involved.  Of course, I will visit my mother on my way out.  And every year, or every other year, as I move around... or even if I settle in somewhere.  Argentina first, I do believe.  If things worked out.

I was wrong.  But... they want to do a visit.  I... had thought to stall, but... not this time.  So, roughly, it is scratched in.  Ugh.  I'll get boxes out this weekend, and do a bit more cleaning in the kitchen and bathroom.  It won't be close to perfect, but still, it is way ahead of where it was the last time someone thought to come visit, and I stalled.

I may or may not be getting another call, yet today, by their inspector.  Ugh.  Yes, I've... got some things to do.  I am quite surprised that it went through, and that I agreed to a visit.  But... so be it.  Later.

Late to rise.

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Perhaps the cool?  It was 67/64 upstairs, when I woke at nearly nine, 65/65/65 down here, and 52 outside... with the sun up and having been shining for around an hour?  Two?  Nah.  Acclimated through a slow reduction in heat, this is, to me, about as perfect of weather as there is.  Though, perhaps, my body doesn't think so?  It has aches and such, if I am not certain that is from the cooler weather.  More from doing few but heavy things?

I slept warmly, tending blankets before bed, or when waking even more often, lately.  As well, wearing longjohns during the day, and often while I sleep.  No, I suppose it isn't the cool weather.  Just, when I do things, I am pushing it hard, if for a short duration.  Moving a bunch of boxes, or furniture.  It... catches up.  All good though.  Haven't been listing them, because I don't consider them work.  Just... preparation for work.

Awake, though.  Sassy got fed first thing.  I took care of her litter boxes last night again.  I should get her fresh water.  She is up with me, lately.  Most of the night.  She, unlike Sam, won't just sleep on me, on the outside.  She has to be under the covers.  Though, not necessarily near me.  If the covers go off the mat, she will sleep under that.  But she is a fussy sleeper, so I don't always want her in.  She mostly wants to be itched.

I need to figure something else out for food.  I've been eating rather poorly, with regards to carbs.  Not... a lot, just mostly carbs, of late.  I pushed things this month, am low on cash so can't really shop, and have what I have.  I'll have to do a bit more prudent shopping this next month.  Well, and I should see what I have left in the freezer.  Eating it down, but maybe a few roasts, packages of chicken or pork chops, who knows.  And, really, as cool as it is, using the oven wouldn't be a bad thing.

Today or tomorrow, I'll reset the bed.  Smelling as I do.  It may get some more sunshine, be put out to air.  Might as well, the risk of it becoming winter, by the next go around, is stronger.  I really like having fresh, well aired, bedding.  Can't do it with a regular bed mattress, but these do quite well.  And the clothes lines hold up well to it.  They didn't even stretch this last time.

Someone must have caught a whiff of my dreams last night.  Potent.  Fighting.  A number of blogs today, which are rarely watched anymore, remind me of when I'd dream of fighting much more often, write about it, add music and other vids.  Strange how that sometimes works.

Well... on to looking around, waking up, gaming, and... else.  Later.

A few... thoughts.

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More animal than human?  Sometimes I wonder.  If so?

Dark and cool.

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I don't think it has broken 70 today?  Last time I looked, it was 64, I think.  It's a pleasant 64, but that is rather cool.  Wearing longjohns seems to help.  It feels warmed, and yet the cool seeps into the bones.  And it is making me tired, sleepy really.

I called my brother.  No answer.  I left a short message.  Never sure about him.

Still going to try to push through to a bit later, but will sleep well when I do sleep.  Hungry.  I did go for food.  But... still hungry.  I'll look around, see if there is anything in the fridge, or freezer.  Hungry.  Not terribly hungry, just... that edge.  A bite of something, pork roast, or a couple of chicken drumsticks, or thighs, would do the trick.  Just not available.  I could do sardines, but not quite in the mood.  Tried them the other day and didn't enjoy at all.  An acquired taste I have lost, for the moment.

Hmm, maybe a can of soup?  No eggs, or I'd have eggs and corned beef hash.  Maybe just a can of beans, with cheddar.  It's not fancy, or keto, but it might do the job.  Yeah.  I suppose.

Sudoku is improving, learning the new systems.  The rubik's cube is improving.  And I am nearing the end of the nightmare mode, for Doom.  Doing well.  Not pushing anything, just tinkering, with this or that, when I can, as I can.  

Beans, cheese, and a fatted coffee.  I think that will do.  Good day.  Hopefully not quite goodnight, but you never know.  So dark, and cool.  But... a pleasant fall day.  I'll store even this memory, for winter.  Good afternoon, early evening, day, night, or even morning.  Depends on where you are.  

Awake?

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Oh, I think so.  Up around 06:46?  Give or take an half hour.  It was 66/69 upstairs, 68/68/68 down here, and 44 outside.  Plus wet out there.  Looks like rain passed through at least once last night.  All good.  Could sure use some water.  And we are getting it.  It is throwing my work off, but... I'm not sure I could have gotten to work anyway.  So, all good.

I had to shut the window, a bit, last night.  Had gusts coming in, from the east!?!  It wasn't that they were cold, just that I ended up getting, nearly, in fights with my curtains.  They would blow in.  I would slightly wake, ready to fight.  Only to just be dealing with curtains.  I am sure God enjoys such funny things.  He knows I'm always ready, even mostly dead, right from sleep, stop to start.  Though... curtains... make for a humorous fighting foe!  Laugh, I am sure He did.

Some suggest, by the way, that God doesn't laugh, because He doesn't change.  I suggest He has a state of mirth about Him, so laughing isn't... a change.  Well, that's my story and I am sticking to it.  I just can't believe God can't, or won't, or wouldn't, laugh.  And, yes, sometimes He laughs with us, and sometimes at... as is well deserved.  And enjoyed, if you don't have too much of a stick up your...  Never mind.  :p

Longjohns this morning.  Plus heavier pj bottoms, if just a muscle shirt, but covered with a proper gents nightcoat.  The last, fleece, with a tie, and warm.  Coffee and meat sticks, first thing.  Almost too warm now.  Oh, and I see it IS Thursday.  Why my clock suggested it was Tuesday, yesterday, or how I misread that?  No problem.  I did get my medicine in yesterday, then, on time, on the right day, and all.  And meds started for today.  Bleh.  I think I'll open the front door.  No fan, but... a little air would be nice.

Not much.

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It was a good enough day.  My aches and pains have mostly subsided, if I am still tired, overly tired.  Not sleepy, just... not all that able to get to much.

I had hoped to be in bed a few hours ago.  But it went like it did, and here I am.  It is just hitting 20:00, which isn't bad.  Beats 22:30, or midnight.  Ah, but... I did get days, and medicine, confused.  I got Monday, Tuesday, and started getting into Wednesday's medicine.  Oh well.  I'll take half the day off tomorrow.  The only thing I'll add in is water pills.  I need those daily.

While I have been leaving the door open, to the upstairs, lately... weather being relatively pleasant, and wanting more airflow through the whole house, Sassy has been going on up and sleeping upstairs.  Just coming down, from time to time, to let me know it is feeding time, or just say hello.  I sure enjoy the mini, furry, people, even the girl types.  And, yes, she still has that trill, when she begs for food, or lets me know something.  And, yes, she still likes 'talking' to me, even when it isn't about food.

On to bed.  Goodnight.

Still... a bit sticky.

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But I am able to sort of, eventually, finish the rubik's cube, again, without looking up how to do it.  I am not, yet, doing it efficiently.  After the wrong move, at the wrong time, it'll roughly return, to me, the next time that move comes around, how to do it.  Working on it.

Oh, and I am arranging, for next month, to get back into kefir... so back on milk.  But, also, probably a quart of heavy cream a week.  I... know it can cause swelling.  I am hoping, keeping it to a quart a week, it might be okay.  The powdered cream is okay, and doesn't cause any swelling.  But, too, it isn't sweet.  It's a bit bitter.  It just isn't the same.  Still, a bit of that, and bit of this, as needed, and, perhaps I can do okay.

My feet have really been doing well, lately.  I'm willing to experiment, try to have some of what I enjoy, but... just some.  Time will tell.  Kefir, however, is perfectly good.  That didn't cause any problems.  Or?  We'll see.

Oh?  Already 17:46!  Time has flown today.  Haven't been able to do much.  And, may not end up doing anything more.  Though, tomorrow, I will dress more warmly.   These fast change weather days really mess things up.  Socks and shoes, a t and shorts, I thought would be okay.  Added a housecoat.  But really, I need full length pants of pj bottoms, and maybe even longjohns under.  Plus the housecoat.  If it's a bit cool, I slow down too much.  Though, and again, I hit it pretty hard two days in a row, over a minor heatwave set of days.  So... yeah.

I'll be to bed before too long.  Have a great day, afternoon, evening, and goodnight.

Well?

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That first storm blew through.  Leaving a bit of water around.  But, then, the sun came back out and was evaporating the leftover like a vacuum picks up dust.  Then another one came through?  Weird.  I haven't seen two storms in one day that I remember.  And, the sun is back out, if it is still with many clouds, so could happen again.

I didn't see the earliest high.  But during the first storm, it dropped to 68.  After it passed, it warmed to 74.  Now it is down to 64.  Very strange weather.

While they were wrong about the temperature, at least ten degrees warmer than suggested (thought rather typical with their continued attempts to push global warming), they were right about the rain.  I guess that is as good as it gets anymore.  Until we get rid of the Pravda mentality of our news, that is the way it is.  Catholic news is no better, with the same, and worse, biases.

It is rather cool.  But that's okay.  Too wet for cement, weed whipping, or other outdoor efforts.  If too, I was not really able to get to things anyway.  A bit too much going on the last few days, and in the heat.  Not completely worn out, but too tired to push through.  But I think tomorrow will be good.

I will get the dishes done, today.  I may get a few things stored, into the longer term pantry.  And a few other small things.  Nothing too big.  But... a few things.  And, perhaps, the air filter on the auto.  Maybe figuring out the in cab filter and else this evening.  Though, perhaps it is cool enough even now.  Will see.

Later.

Dark.

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I thought it was getting dark, but that isn't always actually the case.  Sometimes, for whatever reason, it just seems to be getting dark out there.  But when I go out, the sun is up, out, and strong as ever.  It is as if... a shadow covers things, and doesn't seem to let the sun through.  Inversion?  Or... just... some other odd atmospheric phenomena?  Or... just my eyes being rheumy?

But, today, as I was sitting there, thinking it was getting dark, really dark, but ignoring it, a sound.  Thunder.  Directly overhead.  Nope, that... has to be thunder, right?  I hoped so.  Yes, dark clouds came in, sometime ago, and blotted out the blue and sun.  We even had the electricity flicker.  Actually go off long enough to reset the clocks and console.

Raining, but, so far, just a sprinkle.  It could hit really hard, or just move on.  Never can tell.  Until you do, I guess.

Still just gaming.  Can't really get to things.  Will be up for a while, then maybe to bed early tonight.  Two days, in a row, of doing things, wore me a bit.  I didn't do much, it doesn't take much.  But I enjoyed the efforts, company.  All good.  Later.

I was wrong.

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The beef jerky the neighbor made?  That apple cider actually is... interesting.  I wouldn't want it on all of my jerky, but it is good for a slight shift, in mho.  There is a slight... incompatibility? between the salty and apple.  But, that can be fixed one way or another.  Since apple has sugar, I'm not sure salt is needed?  Perhaps just "brine" in the cider, without adding salt, or just add a half, or quarter, the soy or worcestershire sauce you had used?  Something.  I... thought it was tasty.

Still sort of not getting going.  Haven't even started gaming.  A slow day.  Still, I'm about to begin gaming.  Look, in my condition, gaming helps be get going.  In time.  If... getting going is possible, on any given day.  I'll get to it, then, maybe, later, get to real things.  Have a good one. 

A bit late.

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I think it was about 22:20 when I went to bed, I mean was actually tucking in.  It seemed so late though!  I was well and truly done in.  All good.  And I slept clean through to right around 08:30?/  I added a small bit to one of my bottles up there, Maybe a cup?  Strange.  Even this morning, not much was to go.  And it was difficult to get up.  Sassy helped!  So I brushed her rock and roll fur, for her efforts, and fed her right away.  This is very late!

The sun is up to a third mast, but will go on over through the day.  Bright, and out, but it is only up to 61 out there, mostly just under 70 around the house.  The coolest I saw was 66, upstairs in the main.  I did use a fan last night, it was a bit warmer when I went to bed.  Maybe why I slept so heavily?  Went without that for several nights.  It really... pulls the temp down a bit, if it offers much more air to breath.

Feeling slightly rough still today, but nowhere near as bad as yesterday.  Everything aches the same, but more echoes of those initial pains and aches.  Which means it really was from exerting beyond... some measure.  My body was good for it, there was just a price to pay.  Still paying, but not stopping.

With the weed whip definitely going, I am hoping to hit several areas today, then possibly restack wood if I don't like it.  Though it may be well and good as is, I just haven't looked closely, and don't remember.  If it's good, then I can begin bringing over the bigger branches, and processing those down to fit in with the others.  And, actually, I'd like to process the twigs into starter bundles.  I may be sorting out a way to begin using those.  We'll... see.

As well, it would be good to, possibly, stir a bag of premix cement together, and get that into the dip in the driveway.  And, when that dries by next week?  Perhaps tar over it... to seal it as is possible.  That collects water, and ice, and is still a dip.  Makes clearing the road difficult.

I did reset the pots and pans, today, first thing.  I forgot, but will set a timer for a few hours.  If I don't get to them then, I'll reset them when I a more sure I'll get to them in a few hours, then set a timer again.  But, while I do that, I'll also clear off the freezertop.  Which... is actually the running current plan.  The freezertop isn't bad, should take a few moments, it's just I'm not... going to be ready to fuss with dishes in a few hours.  But, today, yes.

And, if I can do anything else?  I'll do a few very minor things on the Xterra.  But later, as it cools in the evening.  The air filter for the engine, and the cab, and praying the permanent, built in, filter, with a foam cleaner.  She's probably never had that.  Not sure it will honestly do anything, but time will well.  And, perhaps, clean her out a bit, so that hitting the boxes tomorrow will see her ready for a next haul to recycling, next time I get to town.

Asked which side is dominant, once, I didn't quite understand the question.  For, being a double breed leaves no... real room for choice?  Ah, but I think I understood it through a dream last night.  Me?  I choose civil.  Civilized.  In the honest way.  So, there is a dominant, I just didn't quite understand the question.  Then again, I was raised to live fair and square, right.  My mother wasn't afraid to punish, and didn't take my side when I did wrong, unless I did so fairly.  I was allowed to defend myself.  If I got punished for it, she didn't add on.  But, she would advice... choosing the when, and where, of my battles so as to exclude... other problems.  Which I learned to do.  I was raised very right.  For a woman, she... did pretty good on her own.  It's just that, as boys become giants, I became out of her league.  Even my brother was no small man, at 5'11".  Women weren't made to tend such large animals, not alone.  So, I'm not even sure it was a choice.  No stealing, no harming people for our own purposes, work hard, try hard, do well, and sometimes realize, for prejudice or being outclassed, you will lose.  If the game is rigged, find a different game (at least where it isn't so blatant).  Don't fight the system, or town hall, if you must just move.  As a high yellow, she could teach me as a breed and my brother as a half Mexican, things no one else could.  They did adopt us, more closely, to one of our own, than they might have imagined.  Funny, for a double breed and a high yellow?  We both have green in our eyes.  Flares when angry.  :)  We are both freaks of freaks, in ways most will never understand.  But have learned to keep that under the skin?  Something.  So, yes, but it wasn't a choice, it was from being raised hard and right, just like... the gooder ones among the gooder ones.

A bit of gaming, a fatter coffee, a few meat sticks... oh... and jerky!  The neighbor made a batch.  I haven't tried it yet, but will.  He isn't happy.  When he told me the ingredients, I.. figured that out quickly.  Apple cider.  He used the best of stuff, but I don't think it works with meats, like this.  I will try it shortly.  I'm... rather tolerant of weird mixes, but I know them when I taste them.  What I use is soy, worcestershire sauce, ground (or better fresh grated) ginger, fresh ground black or white pepper, and either normal pepper flecks for human consumption, or carolina reaper flecks for me.  And I soak it overnight.  He only soaked it for four hours, so that may have helped it not be too strongly strange?  Still, his first run?  All good.  Or... I'll see in a bit.  He used a smoker, which... may be far better than a simpler dehydrator, when he gets the recipe down.  I have to imagine.  I didn't think it would dry well, but looks to have.

Hmm... well... of to the gaming.  Have a great morning and day.  Later.

It's about time.

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Up a bit late, for no good reason.  Still, it's only 22:36.  Time for bed.  I did get insulin in, and will get the last of the pills in.  Ugh.  So tired.  Was tired a while ago.  But, getting out, eating, saying hello to strangers?  It... sort of... woke me up.  No, nothing really on my mind.  Just, being with people is unusual.  Mostly pleasant.  Well, and good food.  Digesting it is proving a trick.  Not that I pigged out, just... not used to full meals.  And then some.

Strange little dreams, though, as my mind began to shut down.  Odd how I can have a daydream right over playing a game.  It's sort of like watching a television program, while memorizing something listening to the radio on top of the other things.  But... doing it fairly well.  

Oh, I am nearly remembering how to solver the rubik's cube again.  I can do it, it just takes a bit longer.  I'll improve.  Though, this time, instead of stopping at where she leaves off, or figuring out the fastest method, and memorizing to a little less than a minute, I am going to see if I can get the solution faster.  See if there is an intermediate, or even high, level of solution I might try.  If I can get to thirty seconds, I'll be happy.

Yes, on to bed.  Goodnight.

Yea, talking to women...

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Makes me think.  Oh, no, nothing... just... memories, and time, and places.  Reminders.  And, dames will always be... a pleasantry.  They are, after all, like or not, a gift from God.  Yeah, I can't say I don't enjoy the darling little monsters.

I didn't hear from one.

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So I didn't have to choose.  I would have gone to the supper.  I have been even more negligent with the local activities than even the men's group?  I think so.  I am a horrible man, in some ways.  I... do what I can, but it's not much.

Brisket, and pulled pork.  Plus all the sides a hungry, or even full, man could want.  Plus, conversations.  I spoke with a number of woman, and a few gents.  Life was good.  Did I say the wrong things?  Probably.  But... so it goes.  I try to be civil, but it's... just not how I am.  I say.  As long as it is true, I don't worry.

Very good meal.  Considered more, but there was a long line for seconds.  So, I called it short.  Spoke with a few folk, in parting, who I had spoken with earlier.  Tried to speak with a few others, but it just... Well, women, I wonder what goes through their minds.  Being social isn't... what their gig is about.  They are looking, for a nut to crack.  All I'm saying, or suspecting.  Though, it's probably gotten around that I'm looking for... younger.  Or, would only settle for such.  Or am... strange.  Both are true.  Ha!  But, she wouldn't say farewell.  All good, I... understand.  Though, too, perhaps she was just tired, lost focus.  Hard to know.

Well... a bit more gaming.  But with a good sense of having been invited, and accepted.  I have done, and enjoyed, a social event.  What a pleasant thing.  Even got a shower in, first.  So I was... less salty than usual.  It's been a warm day, needed a shower.

On to gaming.  Then to bed a bit early, I think.  Good day, evening, and night.

A call.

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Just checking up on mother.  I don't want to call too often.  She doesn't remember, but she gets a bit grumpy if I call too often.  Fair enough.  But, with her friend having passed, I am pushing it just a bit.  Hard times call for stronger measures.  Just... a bit.  I don't bring it up, but listen if she needs to speak of it.  Not ignoring, just... letting her handle that as she may.

She is making salsa!  I wish I could make it, I'd snatch a jar or two.  She makes amazing salsa.  And, when people find out she is making it... they all want some.  She has limits, though.  From ingredients, to time, to energy.  Still, she always finds waifs, of various ages, and gives some away.  Nothing like making one's self useful.  And, she always gifts those who help her source.  Nothing wrong with itching the back of those who scratch yours.  It may not be the only way, but it is a part of the way, and one of the ways.

I told her I am hoping to can burger.  She thought that sounded terrible.  And, maybe.  But, it stores meat.  I really want burger around.  And, I will freeze some.  But I want to try to can some too.  She is going to look around regarding it.  She is sure she can find a suitable recipe... for her little boy.  :p  Hey, I'll take her advice.  She has been fooding since she was a very youngen.  She took over for her mother, to a greater extent, due to cancer, before she was a teen, proper or otherwise I suspect.

It is 78 outside, but only 71 even in here, in the front room, near the computer.  I do feel a bit chill.  But... it's all good.  I'll figure things out.  Hmm, hungry, too.  Not sure what I have easily available.  I may just go hungry today.  Perhaps a fatted coffee though, or tea?  It's... not that cool, cold.  But... that isn't always why a hot drink goes down.

I really want to get out, and do things.  But not today.  Another day, dry, and perhaps I can get the weed whip going.  And, maybe, do some raking.  Or wood cutting, in smaller or larger parts.  Well, resetting the wood pile first, after weed whipping around the area, then cutting and restacking?  Maybe.  Though, perhaps this evening, as it cools a bit, I may change the air filter.  And begin tinkering with the cabin air filtering system.  I did get her washed, last time I was in town.  I could check the oil as well.  The other fluids I can't really check?  Radiator, I could at least review that.  Just... tinkering, looking, seeing.  But later, when it cools just a bit.

Even so, it's a rather pleasant day.  Probably the last of the really warm days?  Nearing the end.  Might be a few oddities, weather is strange anymore.  Between the sun, mostly, and men to a minor degree (try as they might, they don't seem able to quite kill everybody... yet), things are just a wee off.  Still, it's mostly tracking, so far, give or take.

Later.

Wonderabulous!

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Or, OUCH!  Remember the one, about the blond.  Goes in to the doc.  He asks where it hurts.  She says everywhere.  He asks her to show him.  So, she taps on her hip.  It hurts here.  Taps on her nose, says that hurts too.  Taps on her knee, her belly, and even her boob.  It hurts EVERYWHERE.  The doc just tells her she broke her finger, and that should be an easy fix?

Well... it actually hurts EVERYWHERE!  No broken finger, for good or ill.  I pushed, yesterday.  Did well, but... ripped and tore, until it was done.  And it got done.  My forward thigh muscles, biceps, forearm main muscles, love handle areas on both sides, lower and mid back, all ache.  On the good side, they ache in the right way... as if they have been used, stressed a bit, and things tore just a mite.  It is what I aimed for when I used to aim at such things.  These days, I am merely hurting things by just trying to... live.  Meh.  

It is what it is.  I thanked God, before it was hurting, but certainly after.  And, I offered anything that might have been considered good, for His glory, not mine.  It seems strange, but there... isn't any other way.  What is of good is from Him, not from us.  Not even the best of us, save one.  Woman!  :)  That... at times... as all men know even at our lower levels... must have been frustrating.  Remember, He really didn't want to do the water to wine thing.  But... woman, mother, all but insisted.  *grins*  Just... adding evidence to my argument(s).  And a bit of humor, if you are up for it.

Awake and 6:46, at 66 near me, 64 in the main of the upstairs.  No fans.  I am running a fan in the afternoon, down here, if it is hot.  But other than that, no more fans.  It is 67/68/68 down here, or was.  And is down to 41 outside.  So the report of it dropping to the mid 50s was either not for here, or terribly wrong.  Though Logan sits on the bank of the Wasatch Front, so absorbs all the heat of all the day, and on a hot day, on top of that, being a denser nearly urban area, it may be warmer.  But that wouldn't change the night temps all that much of cold moves in.  So... that must have been SLC, or, and again, plainly wrong.

I don't think I took insulin last night, so got it in this morning.  I may or may not have missed medicine, pills, too.  I just can't be sure.  Well, one dose.  Since I think I did, I tool a dose last night, as I was going to bed.  If possible, I'll make it up today.

Today?  A lighter day.  I'd like to get dishes going, clear the freezertop, pull anything that might be left... meats to thaw.  Finish the dishes.  Get a shower, just the body.  I already made the bed.  And, maybe fuss around getting the sewing center into some kind of functioning form.  Everything is in, to set up the tables and cover them well.  And I still need to clear the other tables, and organize a bit better.  Oh, and I could do some work work on the kitchen table.  Perhaps get more downstairs, and figure out where to store things which aren't going down.  I have a stack of keto foods which just... they are for short term, usage, portion of the pantry, but I don't have an easy place for them.  Going to have to... organize.  Bleh.

Oh, not all of that.  Too much for even a week.  But... things from the list to draw from.  And, as I can.  I burned it yesterday, can only cook off the coals today.  Probably tomorrow.  Then, maybe, I can hit it again.  Ugh.  But there is the outside, weed whipping and tree limb working, plus some work in the Xterra.  Bleh.  But... if I can, where I can, I will.  Later.

I wanted to a do a few more things.

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.

But I think bedtime is upon me.  I have only been awake because I became too numb to remember to go on to bed.  As well, wearing shorts, a t, and flipflops has allowed me to get nearly frigid, at 68 in there.  Though... it may not actually be just the temperature of the world.  Sometimes, when I push it, I feel cold.  I feel cold even when it is 80 in this room.  That might be the actual problem.  It means it is time to sleep.

I am hungry though.  Can't eat much.  Or more, can't cook, so won't eat much.  But a fatted coffee.  Having those rarely, these days.  But, they... fill in when all else fails.

I may well dream of work, tasks, and else.  Or I may simply crash into oblivion... or something akin to it.  I have done well, given the givens.  It would never be enough to live on, but it's... all I have to offer.  Oh, even stopped at the post office.  Just... trying to check that.  The goal is once a week.  I'll... do my best.

I'll tell you.  While it might be getting too cold, I might find a way through that.  Up to a point.  But when the heat skyrockets, I...  Or changes too quickly, drastically?  I'll keep at it.  If all I do is "think" at it, so be it.  I'll... get to it when I can.  No sooner, no later.  Good evening and goodnight.

Cooling off quickly.

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.

The sun is still well up, but it has dropped to 72.  In less than two hours, with the sun out the whole time, it dropped eight degrees.  I had the fan going in here, in the front room.  While I was playing the game.  It is down to 75 in here, still about 68 in the main room.  Very odd, but I'll take it.  Especially as I get used to it.

A neighbor I haven't seen in a while stopped.  Knocked.  There is a dinner tomorrow night.  If I can get something together, to share, that would be welcome.  But it is not required.  I have an intention to go.  And to bring a dish.  But, failing bringing something, I will make it there.  I haven't been the most gracious of guests in the town, but I don't mean to just ignore.  I... often... can't.  But I think tomorrow I should be able to make it.

Oh... wait?  Do I have a meeting tomorrow night?  Seriously?  How does that work.  I have maybe one to three things a month, often I don't make it.  And, yet, I end up, often, having a conflict?  Crazy.  I'll check again.  I thought the meeting was last week though.  So... not sure.  I've gotten confusing emails.

Still, I do plan on something.  Tapioca, or chocolate tapioca?  Or chocolate pudding, with whipped cream?  Something.  I'll... see what I can do.  If not, I'll just go.  Ugh.

Pretty tired, tonight.  My heart is literally tired.  Two trips to town, unloading boxes, toting the serger around, carrying the return packages and waiting in a long line, and all in probably 85 or warmer heat, there in town.  The city is just hotter, by a lot.  Traffic, industry, a great deal more tar, higher building density, and else.

Still, it was an excellent day.  I keep expecting, on one of these days, I will come home, got to bed, and just not wake up.  I'm trying my best to outlast my mom.  Not out of some sort of contest, but so she may rest at peace.  I have troubled that woman nearly since I was born.  I didn't mean to, I was just... difficult.  Imagine raising a child who can... do as it wills.  Perhaps not a true superman, but... closer to that than some might suspect.  Between mind and body, I had a way with things.  And with speech skills.  But, I really didn't have the maturity.

Anyway, I am trying to see her in the ground.  Though, as mentioned, that isn't our choice.  I would be in the ground a dozen times over if it had been up to me.  I tried.  Now that I am trying to live, for that and other good reasons, it... may just slide away.  Even on medicine, I really shouldn't have made it this long.  If I would have let them, they would have put me on the heart transplant list a decade ago, or so.  What a gas.  I would be dead if they had put a new heart in.  I just couldn't live on those meds, alone, and such.  And, as mentioned, I no longer trust or believe anything they do or say.  But, I will still try to survive my mother.  Even if it is by a day or something.

The body, too, is sore.  Stiff.  Tight.  I hurt, but mostly in places that make sense.  From lifting, moving, toting, walking, and else in the heat.  Though, to be honest, while the heat causes some issues, it actually makes it easier to work in some ways.  When it gets cold, I can hurt my muscles much more easily, on even simple stupid human tricks.

Well... back to gaming.  I did some of the difficult play, but had to go back to preps.  I am ready to play again.  Oh, but I want to sort out the rubik's cube.  So I'll go look.  I was able to get the white side whole, and two layers up each adjacent side.  Adjacent?  Whatever.  And, I could get the yellow cross.  But getting the corners to place correctly... I... must have missed, or forgotten, something.  Still, that was a good restart.  I just... I'll look up how to finish.  Then go play the stupid Doom!  :p  Later.

That was fast.

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.

A very slight change of garb, and life is so much more pleasant.  It was 72 upstairs in the main.  I didn't check near my sleeping pad.  It is supposed to cool to the 50s, though... who knows.  That may have been SLC news.  I heard it on the radio, though not sure if it was the Catholic station, which is from SLC, and does put out news and weather, I think, from time to time.  Or if it was from the, a, local station.  Well, and then again, whether such can be believed, from any station, is another thing.  Unfortunately, the Catholic station is no more trustworthy than any other.  Heck, they were on the wrong side of most news events these last few years, from Floyd to the riots starting it all, in the late teens.

Still, that's what I have heard.  If that is true, and local, their is a suggestion that more waterworks is on the way.  We'll see, I guess.  I don't sense it, but I don't always sense it.  We'll see.

Now, though, after sitting in here, dressed more casually and coolly, with a fan on high, I'm ready to play the game.  A bit more prep work, maybe, perhaps, on to the more difficult runs, in a bit.  Tricks, traps, practice, and setting things up first.  Then, I get to go into the meatgrinder, as prepared as possible.  All good.

Well... on to it then.  Good day.

Exhausted.

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.

I did get in for the serger lesson.  I learned some things, and was given a bit of homework.  So be it.  Lunch before.  I had intended to take boxes into recycling, but realized I had forgotten the items to be returned.  So, I just went on home, picked those up, and got back to town.

I wanted to fill the tank, but it was nowhere to be found!  I was worried.  Usually thieves don't take... such items.  So, out of an odd consideration, I checked with the neighbor.  Yep.  They are filling it, since they used it.  So... very grateful.  Danged kids, men type if that, going doing nice things.  Bah!  :p

I did get the packages back, and in.  Then dropped off the cardboard.  I put the serger and else back upstairs.  Oh, I even took the Xterra through the wash.  This time I watched.  The machines did flick the mirrors.  Can't be certain if it opened the gas hatch.  But, it put the mirrors back, and if it did get the gas flap, it closed it back up.  If they could do that before, why didn't they?  I think they... got the message.  I have just to the 27th, before this ends.  Then I'll try another company.  Though, to be fair, the one I am going to is closer.  Or considering.  There are two I will check out, actually.  The trick is to get it to pay out at the first of the month, not the end of the month, when things are tricky.

But, warm out there.  Here it was 80, the highest I have seen it.  Nicely drying things.  But baking.  After a few days, week, weeks it almost seems, of cool, today is brutal.  I'll take it.  Then I can get to trimming weeds, and cutting sprigs, and a few smaller trees.  I just need a few more days, to recover from today, and let things dry a bit better.

Oh, but a very successful day.  Three, and really four, things done in town, a shower, some learning, some things to do.  I am grateful for being able to suffer through it.  It is a grace to be able to go out, burn up, and work my body to it's limits, and probably then some.  I thank God every time I get to do so.

Tomorrow?  Because, yes, I think I am done today.  Boxes in this front room.  Then out to the Xterra.  If it looks to be dry for a while, I may see about doing a cement hole fill in the driveway.  And, maybe, some light weed whipping.  I'd like to hit a particular patch, then reset the small logs.  And, then, begin trimming the longer branches down to cuttable sizes and getting those stacked.  Though, as mentioned, the boxes, and this room in general, is the main target this week.  It's just good to have a few options.  As well, I may try to get the air filter changed, work on the in-cab air system, and see how well the jack works, and practice lifting parts of the Xterra with it.  So many things to do.  Not sure how much, or how fast, those things can be done.  But... lists sort of help.

Good afternoon, and day.  I think I'll strip to shorts, a t, and flipflops.  Play Doom.  Just some easy prep stuff.  Perhaps get another shower before bedtime.  Then... crash a bit early.  It is staying cooler in the back of the house.  Not sure about upstairs.  But, actually?  It's only 74 even here near the machine, indoors.  I'm just sweating because it was so warm out there.  Ugh.  I think it was 68 in the main.  Yea, I'll strip down a bit and go chill killing demons.  Later.

Good.

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.

Fingers and mind are back to nimble, or seem to be.  Now, to get a shower and trim, get dressed, and... just get on with the day.

Somebody left cucumbers at the post office.  I snagged them.  It was a weekend, and I didn't think they would last.  I am eating the last one.  This one was rather large, wasn't sure what to expect.  Tasty.  Very.  Mostly I have eaten them with just a touch of salt.  This time I used salt, fresh ground white pepper, and the first half got a splash of white vinegar, the second half got a splash of white wine vinegar.  Can't... say there was a lot of difference.  If... that isn't a terrible thing either.  Quite tasty.  And, I feel better for not have wasted anything I took.  Gratitude, to whoever put them in there.

Hmm?  It looks like it is getting dark again?  Nope.  It's just that the sun isn't all that high yet.  And is coming at an angle so that it just isn't hitting as hard.  All good.  I was worried.  I am really hoping it dries out a bit, so as to get to weeding, maybe mowing, picking up sticks, and all that jazz.

Hmm... a fatted coffee, then a shower.  Perhaps a trim while the water heats.  Good morning and day.

A rather good sleep.

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The first alarm beat me by >.< that much.  I was getting up, just hadn't quite gotten up.  Six, the other one was set to eight.  A bit tight, the last, but going to bed so late, I feared putting the alarms too close together.  And, just realized, if it was the late alarm that worked, I'd have to rush.  Even so, I feel rushed.  The time isn't the time.  The time is actually an hour before the time, or half hour if I push it.  I hate pushing it.

I did get the last things done.  The serger is kitted, fitted, and ready to travel.  Everything but the manuals is in the bag.  The carry bag and all, plus the manuals, is down here, ready to go.

Sassy did sleep with me most of the night.  She also coughed up a hairball!  Ugh.  Thankfully I saw it before finding it with my foot.  *sigh*  It's... what they do.  Even with me helping to groom, brushing her fur, itching and massaging, she just has a lot of hair.  Though Sam had short hair, and still had problems too.  It's... just... a lot of fur, and a lot of grooming, and the cost of all the pretty fur.  Though, it's not done to be pretty.  Clean, but only to the degree that it neutralizes their odor, so that they are less of an easy target.

I even got medicine in, if I had to come down and do it after having almost forgotten?  Last night, yesterday night, maybe both.  I've had to insist.  But have been doing it.

First thing this morning, I made the bed.  I did okay, with it a bit frumpy last night.  But, would rather have it in better shape.  Especially as it gets cooler.  It was 67/66 upstairs, and 68/66 down here.  And it is 44 outside, and dry from the looks of it.  Another dry day or two, and I should be able to get on weeds, and maybe some of the branches.

A new week.  This week?  Just the same old list I haven't been able to hit.  Boxes, in here, then to town.  Then stripping this room to the floor and walls, save the computer and desk, and the book shelves.  Though I may begin pairing those books.  Some... just... won't ever be used again.  Some won't be, but I will keep.  Some are dated.  I will keep one each of the math type books, per subject.  And else, most likely.  Though, just one level per.  And, some, very old German books, will go.  I will only keep the newer language books of various sorts.  Well, and there are other books that just have no purpose anymore, never really did.  But those aren't the main aim, just a part of it.

I brushed my teeth first thing.  I will play a few games of Doom.  Just to get my brain and fingers going.  Then to drain the dishes, get a shower, put them back for a rinse.  Perhaps trim the beard just a tad.  Then to get dressed, so I almost look presentable.  What a world.  I may start pricing things, for the Xterra.  An oil filter, gas filter if it has one, and synthetic oil... plus other fluids... transmission, brake, radiator, who all knows.  I'll need a checklist.  I just added a gallon of wiper fluid.  I use it straight.  I have a new air filter, a cab filter, and a foam  to clean out a specific part of the air system.  The breaks sound great, but I would like to check them.  And, get her up, and just look around.  Perhaps lightly clean the engine, check the battery.  All sorts of fun things.  But, not until the first, for much of it.  Even if the breaks are a bit worn, not sure I can change the parts, or other parts, out for another month.  But I can check them.  Though I may be able to get some of these things done yet this week.

Well... on to a bit of gaming.  Then to a shower.  Hopefully, can do a morning duty before the shower.  But... you know how that sometimes works.  Want to, it blocks up and refuses.  What that, a woman, and a child, often have in common.  :p  Later.

I got it all.

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.

Well, actually, not quite.  Or yet.  I got dishes done, out of the way.  Showered, brushed my teeth.  Went to reach for the homemade mouthwash, but the little bottle was empty.  I am just so tired, didn't want to fuss with it tonight.  Still, I grabbed the big jar, to take it to the kitchen.  But it was half full!  I think I just put salt and baking powder in, adding iodine only as I fill the container for daily usage.  Which was done.  There is more left, so I won't need to make a larger batch again for... a while!  Nice.

The dishes were set back to a fresh water rinse.  Now, the only thing I need to do is get the stuff together for my sewing lesson tomorrow.  Most of it is ready, or right there.  So, it will be easy.  Then on to bed.  I'm leaving the door open, tonight.  Sassy may or may not visit.  She is funny that way.

Very good.  I didn't think much of this would happen.  It was getting so late!  I'll need to set the alarms, though.  I still hope to get another shower in, brush my teeth, and get going in plenty of time.  Ugh.  Goodnight, finally, and again.  Sleep well yourself, or work hard, or rest well.  :p  It is what it is until it is something else.  Good or bad, it is an opportunity.  *wink*

Oh!  Medicine!  I'll... get the last dose, and the insulin.  Been doing better, for a week now.  I... keep trying.  Buh-bye!

Well what do you know.

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Late.  Later than I wanted to even be up.  But... I... held out some hope that I would get to some things.  And, finally, I did!

I got all the trash out to the barrel, and recycling.  But there was only enough of trash, in the end, to take to the curb.  A good thing, as I don't think tomorrow is a recycling day.  The trash was only a third full, but it was enough.  Plus, as mentioned, earlier I cleared the litter boxes, redoing the nasty one.

Then I got food stored.  Not... all of it.  But more of it than I had initially thought to get stowed.  I had four packs, or two runs, planned.  But, then, I realized the things on the kitchen table could go.  I didn't get everything down, but I did okay.  I got two loads from the table, and a few other odds and ends as well.  Six trips, arms full?  Yea, about that.

Something else, too.  I can't remember what, but...  Oh, dishes.  The pots in the pots in the tub.  Done.  Well, given a first clean.  I actually think that should be enough.  I'll leave them to soak in a clear rinse overnight.  After I shower.  And, yes, I'll do that and brush my teeth.  Hmm, but I want to set up the mouthwash.  Little things, but... I want it done.  I'll do that, brush, shower, and then on to bed.  It's... a good run.  I just wish I could have gotten it going earlier.  I just... I couldn't.

Goodnight.

Well?

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.

Litter, I got Sassy's litter boxes.  Oh, I have been negligent.  But she has been a darling about it.  she kept most of the mess in just one, using the other two for... bigger loads.  Anyway.  Cleared, cleaned, and reset.  I'll refresh the whole lot at the end of the month.

I did that, as I realized taking out trash would be a good time.  And... as mentioned... I have been negligent.  I was worried I would need to redo all of it.  But... Sassy is a clean little lady.  Sam was too, until it all fell apart.  I don't blame her.  She did everything she could, for longer than she should have been required to do so.

Then, trash and recycling out.  Only one bag in each, so I'm not going to put them to the curb.  Probably.  Two things done, plus a visitor earlier.  Not a bad day.  Hoping to get a shower.  There was something else, but I'm not sure.  Though I would like to get a few more things down to storage, and prepare the serger for tomorrow.  And, have things clear to get a shower in the morning, too.

I have a few big pots, with smaller pots in them, and utensils, soaking.  Pushing it, to try to get those done, a shower, the rest, and to be to bed early enough.  Especially as slow as I am moving.  Still, that's... sort of the plan.  Will see.

It got up to 74, the highest I saw it.  Though with clouds here, then gone, and else, it may have gotten a bit warmer at spots.  Still, I think it was mostly just in the mid 70s.  It is up to 77 in this front room, strangely enough.  But is 68 or so in the rest of the house.  I haven't checked upstairs.  No fan has been going, even up there.  I'll be curious to see where it is at, tempwise, this evening.  Though it will probably cool between now and then.

Having a chicken and tomato bouillon brew, as I sit and think, and write.  Tasty.  I've added a bit of protein, as I haven't been getting much of that, as I haven't been drinking much coffee, or tea.  Mostly water these days.  All good.  Well... perhaps some gaming, to try to wrestle my way to a shower and those other chores.  Good evening, and day.   

Better and more?

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.

I haven't gotten to much.  But... I am feeling better.  Sometimes that is as good as it gets.  Still, the day isn't finished.  It did get dark again, but that is just fine.  I am... feeling better.  I'll get the trash after this post, then a shower.  Oh, and I need to refresh my homemade mouthwash.  I use two kinds, though one of them, the homemade stuff, I only use for serious preps (if I will be going out soon) or if I have been missing brushing, and want to make sure to clean the tiny monsters out.

If you are curious?  My homemade stuff, in an half gallon jug (a brown canning jar, if I don't think you could actually can in it?, but dark to protect the ingredients)... in that jar, I add an half cup salt, an half cup baking soda, and as much iodine (yes, the stuff used on cuts) as I think is needed.  I haven't measured, but I am guessing an eighth to a quarter cup?  Then, I shake that, let that which won't absorb fall to the bottom, then poor that off into a daily use container, an old mouthwash container... with thick walls.  The iodine is rather sensitive to light, is why the extra care.  And that, my friends, kills what actually gives people cavities.  Bugs in there, amoebas are the worst of the lot, can even get to the heart.  After, I use this, if I am using it, then I gargle with another mouthwash, a non-fluoride one.  Most people just... don't care.  And it shows.  Look around you, the next time you are out and about.  Care, don't care, not my problem... until, or unless, it is.  Then... I will... care about all these things, and you too.

I've been doing well enough in the game.  Still, it's... rather difficult play.  I'm thinking I need to eat something more solid, and check for something in the freezer, meats to thaw.  Trash to be out soon.  A shower.  Practice with the rubik's cube, again.  I wonder how long that can remain in memory?  It has been a year or two since I tinkered with it?  Still, I remembered up to getting an all white base, with the t's.  After that, it was all a wash.  And, I kept missing a part of the last part of the instructions.  Where you have to do both a right and left 180?  I just heard to do the one side.  Had to go back and slow it down... and not just skip through.  :p  Lads, we... aren't always all ears.  What!  :)

Later.

Wow.

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It worked!  The painpills did their job.  Now, I can tell, it's merely covering up the pain.  If you have ever taken heavier stuff, and I have for... various situations... that... fake feeling of calm?  I can tell the pain is still there.  But, that it has been relieved, at least for a bit, is good.

That sense of living a fake life, the reason I don't take heavier stuff, also makes doing much difficult.  It's a bit of a trap.  Which is why, even when my ribs were cracked, I didn't take painpills.  Or for long.  I did take three, over about a week.  But they had me set up to take a couple dozen, with refills.  I... don't like that artificial feeling.  I think, besides the painlessness, that is part of what some people are after.  It helps them pretend they aren't who they are.  I... like being who I am, even when I fail.  Even when I hurt.

So... it will do what it does.  But I won't take more for a week or two.  Even if the pain continues.  I get a bit of a reprieve, from time to time.  But that is it.  And, I think that is fair enough.  Without pain, I would just be numb.  I want to be alive, and will, mostly, usually, gladly suffer for it.  It hit so fast, and so hard, today, that I... sought refuge.  And, it seems, for a bit, found it.

What a beautiful day though, in spite of all.  I noticed earlier, whether I mentioned or not.  Even when hurting, a pretty day is a welcome thing.  The sun, mostly, seems to be back out.  Definitely a fall sun.  But I love each season.  They help me remember... things... life... the past.  And contemplate the future.

I'll game a bit more, for a bit.  Then try to get trash and recycling, as needed, collected and at least out.  Then a shower.  Maybe some work on boxes?  And a few prayers here or there.  If you get to church, say a prayer for me... as in, in my stead.  If not, say a prayer for me where you are.  Or, just pray for me, if you think that is required.  :p  I don't mind which way you go with it, it... isn't actually about me.  Funny how that works.  Amen, and good morning and day.

Ah, one bit more.  I went to solve the rubik's cube the other day.  Couldn't.  Forgot how.  So... I went looking for the video, that actually helped.  I couldn't find it.  I looked and looked, on my blog, and at y.t.  It just didn't seem to be there.  Most y.t. rubik's cube help videos don't.  Either missing steps, or just plain wrong.  I think that is how it is meant.

Finally, today, on a search, using several different spellings and clarifications, I found it.  And, after working it a bit, I got it.  Not... that I will remember, tomorrow, how to do it.  But, for today, it is together.  So... I will post the video, here, again.  And do a few other things which should make finding it much easier in the future.  Assuming it doesn't get pulled for whatever reason.

Hmm, now on to Doom.  I'm getting through it, slowly.

Now get off my porch!

Something is off.

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I haven't felt this bad in a very long time.  Neck hurts, shoulders are sore, bones and muscles.  A bit of a headache... mostly from neck tension.  I think I will take some painkillers.  I had thought them lost, but found them here just recently.  Not the healthiest of pills to take, but... not sure I trust doctors, or their studies, at this point.  Which means just do what helps, using moderation.  Sometimes I will just have to suffer, but not always.  And this is pretty intense.  So I will try to relieve it.  Besides, weren't these the guys handing out oxycontin like it was candy?  Shush...

It is just hitting 57 out there, staying about 68 in here.  I have all windows down here open a crack, and the windows upstairs wide open.  No heat needed, yet, for me.  I'll dress more warmly, and drink tea, for as much heat as possible.  This year I am hoping to cut the heating bill.  Though, toward the end of winter, as with summer, temperature exhaustion sets in.  And, I end up turning it up, pretty high.  Well, and of course, from time to time, the bones and body just demand a bit warmer conditions.

Oh, and I just opened the door.  The sun is well up, and was out.  Though it looks to be... yes, going behind clouds.  Funniest thing.  There is, perhaps, a ten percent cloud cover.  On the periphery perhaps more, but in the wider sky, just that amount.  But?  There are huge clouds along the path the sun is going!  So it shadows it incredibly.  It's funny to have a mostly blue sky, and still have it overcast.  

Now that the weed whipper is up and going, for sure, I keep hoping it will dry out and off for a bit, so I can get to some of that.  As well, some tree cutting, and sprig removal.  I don't want to work when it is too wet, it just doesn't cut well.  A few dry sunny days will do, should do.  Will have to wait for it.  Well, and branches to tend as well.  Ugh.

For today, just getting a shower in, perhaps trash collected and at least to the barrel, and setting up the serger for a lesson tomorrow... and some notions I have obtained.  Well, and various threads, and else.  Some will work on the serger, some will work on the sewing machine, maybe more will work on both than I anticipate.  I will find out.  I think my sewing machine allows for double needles, too.  So, I... have quite a bit of potential with those two machines.  I think they cover some over into each other's best qualities.  If I find a woman, and can get her to do some sewing, we could team up and rip through a projects fairly swiftly.  Sure, I would rather be out doing construction work, and have her home sewing.  But... the world hasn't allowed me to do so.  I can sew, though, and cook.  If I could find a dishwasher, and sewing partner, with sweet cheeks?  I'd have it made.  :p

Strange dreams.

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Some of the dreams, interspersed with others, was of being lost, not knowing my name(s).  Some part of me couldn't remember who I was.  The other parts of me couldn't help.  We didn't know that one.  I dreamed that three or four times.  As if waking, confused, but having other parts of me aware to talk with that one.

As well, several times, I dreamed I was in an apartment?  Or more a small house.  I was having to figure out how to store things, and cutting down on buying.  I was getting better, and learning.  But it was still a bit of a trick.  In one episode, it was just me trying, like a squirrel, to fit things in, or decide what must go.  In another, my mother and one of her friends, were talking about my efforts as I worked.  They had stopped for coffee, and were advising me, while also talking as if I wasn't there.  Grownups always do that.  And, in the last episode (that I remember as different), the neighbor was helping get rid of some things.  Then we struck a bargain, to sell some things with a portioned split.

Then, in there, several times, were dreams of more high school reunions, or classmate interactions.  Questions, answers, thoughts, friendships, and realizations.  I suspect I do know who liked me, and how.  I read people fairly well by then.  Some of the women who were interested, knew I wasn't.  Some who I liked, but didn't fancy, also seemed interested.  My guy friends were honest, my enemies were known.  The rest had their own life and didn't much think about anyone else, one way or the other.  And, not much has changed.  But, this set of dreams, too, was interspersed with the others.

I have rarely dreamed so very much, and themed that well, intertwined like that.  I was having trouble sleeping.  Too warm, with a long sleeve t on, at first, then too cool, until I got the blankets right.  Then too warm again.  I almost had to get up at 22:00, but really pushed to stay in bed.  Removing the shirt helped.  Then sorting the blankets helped.  Until those things caused problems.  Feet out, finally, got me the last two hours of sleep.  If I then woke with feet sore from being cold!  Gah!

Oh, the other night?  When the light blew, was replaced, and as I dressed at the far end, and saw... something... it burst?  Later, when I was down here?  The back door had been slightly opened.  I thought, perhaps, someone had picked the lock, to get in.  But... that... isn't possible.  The screen door was still locked.  It was someone on the inside trying to get out.

Could I have failed to lock that door?  Shut it properly?  I have never had that happen before, and hadn't been out that door in days, or weeks.  So, probably not user error.  And, that it happened when the lights fritzed and the form moved... very... strange.  But I think it is real.  Ghosts haven't visited in a while.  I thought perhaps they had gone.  Maybe not.

It is 47 out there, and has been raining again.  I had the fan on, didn't hear it rain, or smell it.  It was 64/67 upstairs, and 67/68/68 down here, when I woke.  Up to 71 with the machine and myself putting out heat, near the machine.  I may have to shut the house up.  Trying to keep things around 70.

Having a bit of apple sauce, unsweetened.  One of the food items I added a case of to the larder.  Had to try them out.  I have something like that every other month or so.  I also obtained grapefruit portions, in four ounce cups.  Nothing fancy, just nice to have a bit of something different from time to time.

Some good prayers, the last few nights.  I was even able to meditate for a reasonable amount of time last night.  Well, and I have been trying to add prayers through the day.  Quiet little things, but heard none the less.  Prayer is as good for the constitution as food and water.  Later.