One step ahead of the game.

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Rather than call back to NICS or talking to the policemen at the station, I went online and started investigating who to talk to about the matter, what I could do, what forms are needed, and a few other things. I finally ended up at NRA's main page and began digging there. I found a link to BATFE, and from there found a link to NICS's pages. I searched around just a short bit and then hit on what I need. There are, really, two forms which will help in the process. It indicates that the fingerprints may or may not be needed, but that they will (whether needed or not, I must assume, they just love collecting biometrics) hasten the process.

So, tomorrow, after a blood draw in Ogden, I will be smiling at some police officers. Asking, could you please fingerprint me. I will hold my tongue further. I feel like saying, should they ask, that I have been a bad boy and I want to see if they caught me. *chuckles* But I WILL NOT say that. *I will keep telling myself that this is no laughing matter :p* If it were not so frustrating, it would be funny. Well, okay, it is a little funny too. Hmm, I ought to find out if a mug shot will work for passports and if so, see if they would do one of those too. Ha.

I will try and finish those request for transcript forms by finding the costs of the last two sets of transcripts before I head to Ogden, failing that, I will try again when I get back and before going to the police station. I will try to remember to get envelopes sometime in there. And I also need to remember to check my podiatry appointment either while in Ogden or sometime by phone. If all goes rather smoothly, I am hoping to get some target practice, a drive, or some fishing in. Probably just a drive as everyone and their uncle, great uncle, sister, and three dogs gets out on the weekends. It is nice to see if a little annoying.

Some things I have not been saying.

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I know I write about how well I am doing here. And, that is true. I explain how I have been able to do much more, begin activities I had always hoped to do, and that I am both adding new activities, taking care of standard business, and expanding my business so as to fulfill new and old hopes. There are some things I have not been telling.

My body is still somewhat weak. My legs get tired and begin shaking after longer periods of standing and such. My body, in general, still has a general weakness to it. I despise this. Until I get more active, that is probably just the way it will be. Compared to Iowa though, I am really in much better shape.

As well, my feet are still a problem. Though I may have discussed this, it is difficult to tell you how painful it is to be walking on my toenails half of the time. And that awkward means of walking, mostly on my heals, has a way of pounding the feet in the same place and a lot. My feet often still feel as if they are on fire. If I can get the podiatry clinic to schedule surgeries on dates which will not interfere with school or next early spring (I hope to be back and in better shape for the Colorado Springs white-water event), I will jump on that.

My other health issues have probably worsened as well. I am starting on medicine, so I will just have to see about that. If that goes well, I will begin treatments for anything else that ails me. There is a darker side here, regarding life and all, but I do believe it will be more temporary than not. It is too early to tell about the medications, but so far the only problem which might or might not have been from starting the medication was an unusual type of headache. I have been having it off and from about an hour after taking the medicine. It is a non-spot specific general forward in the head headache. Usually mine are left sided, back to front like a bullet going through, lightning strikes, dull constant thuds in the same areas and as described above, or migraines in the same place with that same movement as well. But this new one is minor, very temporary, and I think Tylenol would cure it if needed. It feels more like 'frozen brain', the symptom one gets from eating very cold ice cream or such on a very hot day.

I am getting physically stronger every day. But it is a struggle. I think when I get to hiking, and can begin weight training and swimming, and when I begin doing setups and push-ups, I will do much better much quicker. It really is too hot to be pushing like that, currently, for me. I would end up just causing a general shutdown. Then again, even when I make those regular events, they will always be a struggle. It never does get easy.

The good side so outweighs the bad side though, that I have not mentioned the rest. And, with how things are going, I have a good shot and making even the bad side rather temporary. I almost wonder, sometimes, if some of you question whether I am the same guy who has been grumbling, fomenting trouble, and whining for the last few years? My blog must seem like an almost foreign page. If it is any help, I wonder what has happened too. I do not know, but I like it.

One thing leads to another, and so on, and then you die.

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But there is no reason you cannot enjoy the trip!

I had been working on transcript forms all morning. Mostly I was filling them out, checking for details, and trying to place calls to know how much money, if any, to send along with the requests. The phone calls ended up being busts. I was either switched around to the wrong places perpetually then disconnected or put on hold (one time for 15 minutes) so long that I simply hung up. So it goes. All forms are filled out though, and I could send two of the forms as they indicate what the costs will be, but I am waiting to send them all at once. Well, that and I do not have envelopes yet. I did buy the stamps! Yea me! :P

I also went to the store, with my neighbor, drove him to another place he wanted to go beside the post office and grocery store. It is getting later so I will not be doing the fingerprints today. I am pleased with this day anyway. It was to be a slow day, and though it is, I am still yielding fruits and doing minor labors.

I received a reply from my new to be landlady acknowledging my acceptance of her offer. She indicated she knew a grad student who would be arriving in mid-October who might be interested in my contract though she wanted particulars regarding my apartment. I gave her those, and made sure she realized this apartment is very close to the University. And, to add bribery to pleading, I suggested that I would allow the grad student to finish out the month of October without rent and would add in half of my deposit as incentive for taking the place. It may seem generous and perhaps it is, but seeing that I will not need the deposit as I will not be paying a new deposit and that I might have to be paying the rent through October without a renter to take over along with utilities, and further rent and utilities throughout the year until a renter appears, it behooves me to be generous. Though I like being generous or kind, this is just an indication of why businesses are or should be kind. This affair is, after all, business.

Oh, I received the weirdest call today. The podiatry clinic in Iowa City called and asked if I was going in for surgery tomorrow. What? I called and let the V.A. Hospital there know I was moving before I left. Further, I had received no notice that I was to even have a surgery. What in the world? I did receive a notice that I had a podiatry clinic appointment, but there was nothing in the letter about surgery. As I told the woman, and she was kind enough, I cannot call every clinic which might have me listed and that I had not been notified of a surgery, only an appointment. I did tell both the dental and eye clinic I was moving, though only because I just happened to have appointments with them at the time I realized I was moving. And then I called my primary care clinic with both the date of my move and the city and state I was moving to. What more can I do?

There ended up being no need to call the V.A. in Salt Lake City. I had thought I had been scheduled for September 7th, but when reviewing my electronic calender, I see that I am actually scheduled for (podiatry of all things) on the 1st. Still, just because I had some doubts I will check on that at the Ogden clinic tomorrow. It is far better to ask and have everything good than to not ask and have everything go wrong.

What a day. Now to relax a bit and just shoot the breeze (even if the breeze is artificial, it is cooling and pleasant).

Winding down, but busy.

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I could not quite pry myself up and over to my bed. I know when it is not quite time. And though winding down, I decided to do more than just tinker. Wasting time is no longer an option in my new busy life. Instead I found the links to my old colleges, searched for the transcript request forms, downloaded the three that had them for that, and was able to fill one of them out before printing it. Well, minus the signature. I need to place a call for that last one. As well, I have filled out most of the application to attend USU this spring. The online form rejects my high school's registration number and a few other items, so I will probably have to call and then visit the school. How is that for productivity? Some of the application required a bit of creativity and some research. I am surprised at what I am able to accomplish these days, if I am still an ant to mainstream folk, I was much less before.

Now, however, it is time to sleep. I did take the Lisinopril too. I will try to rise early, tomorrow, just to begin getting into that manner of living. Rising by 9:00 or 10:00 is my temporary goal. I have many things I am working on and that extra day time will help. I am hoping for contact back from my newest renter to be.

Tomorrow, though it is technically a day of rest, I hope to finish the request for transcript forms and have them either in the mail or ready to mail. To whit I need stamps and envelopes. I would also like to stop at the police station for those formalities. I need to correct an appointment mistake, I am scheduled for an appointment with podiatry on the Monday of the Labor Day three day weekend, a definite mistake. Laundry needs cleaned if I do not get to it tonight. I will probably be driving my neighbor to the store in order for him to buy milk and maybe somewhere else as well. I think there are a few other minor things but they are not coming to me. I should start making lists and prioritizing. I am becoming a very busy man.

On Friday I will be driving to Ogden for blood work. I may go shooting when I get back, or fishing. But Saturday is a day of rest. Maybe Sunday too. Then back at it like a lumber jack with a chain saw Monday. You know, I just might make it. I just might pull it off. I might really pick up my crutches, put them under my arm, and simply walk into a new healthy world. Who would have guessed? And all because I had some silly dreams of mountains, cold wind, and snow which ended up leading me here, several years after they manifested my resolve. Those were some powerful dreams. I really had to work to rise from the depths to follow them, and it took a small army of friends who worked their tails off to get me launched toward Utah. I savor the dreams to this day. In the winter, in the mountains, I will find my truth, and maybe my life and health. And I am dearly terribly wonderfully grateful for friends, dear, hardworking, good friends.

Good night. Dream wise dreams, whether you are of little faith or completely devoid of a lack of faith. God speaks if we will but listen. Shhhh... Rest well.

In spite of it all...

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Despite the grim turn of the day, to some extent, I am doing good. I believe the reason these simple seeming tasks were so heavy is I knew they would most likely be negative outcomes, turning into extended and complicated processes. Getting a bunch of "No"s on one day is not easy to take. Still, rather than dickering and playing the things out, I did them in a rather timely manner, took the negatives, and continue to work on the situations in the hopes that I find favor in my court.

I did all that I had intended to do and the extra task of calling my Mom to begin planning that operation. Plus, the neighbor and myself headed out for a minor day on the town for other than food shopping. Grocery shopping, for some time, is completed as well if I could use a few more things. Laundry is all that remains high on my list from my recent past designs. If my sleep is interrupted this night, I will try to use that time to do some or all of my laundry if, that is, I am able to find an all night laundromat. I have found one which calls itself Day And Night, but that does not necessarily mean 24 hour.

My finances seem to be in order. After everything has been tended fiscally, I have decent coin left in the accounts. I am not splendidly rich but I am not broke either. I would like to tend that coin, living as lightly as I may, so that I can use it and nothing out of my next check for plane tickets and a few other items. My domestic needs have been met, my food supplies are good, and I am mostly living in such a way that I can almost cost to payday at this point.

No, I am doing well. If I had worries that it was all going to come crashing down the other day, having rested, eaten well, re-hydrated, and then rejoined the game today, I have much more confident in my new life. There are, of course, many challenges, duties, and out door things to come. I believe I may end up becoming more active than the average man, perhaps verging on the extreme edges of an active lifestyle. It is amazing to watch. It is like watching a long time cripple pick up his crutches and begin to walk slowly, then walk faster, and finally perhaps run, jump, and add a skip or two for Betty Lou.

All the troubles are now merely academic ventures. Not that they are not frustrating, but it is more like playing chess with an opponent I am sure I can beat. It is not, for them or me now really, personal. I have confidence in my game, my chances, and such. The problems are tiring, the negative response is irritating. I must simply use their own system to justify myself and my rights. Once completed those troubles will be done. They are singular events, if extended through bureaucracy. Oddly, the gal I was speaking to at the FBI took several breaks while speaking with me, to check things. She never did ask for my name. I do believe she knew me, or had my case in front of her at least. She excused herself each time to speak with her superior. It almost seemed as if she wanted to simply give in, or turn me away, though I felt she was more positive than not.

Ribs, again, tonight. They were not boneless as I had first indicated. They were St. Louis cut, basically it is just an evening out of the ribs by cutting off the longer bits. Bone in, and tasty, I enjoyed another fine meat meal. I was not able to eat all of them, so I have a healthy portion left for a cold snack, if a hearty snack. I have a few more packages of meat, from boneless butterfly beef ribs, to several various lamb cuts, to sausage to go along with eggs. I can take some time in cooking those, but not much. I needed meat and did not realize how much until I ate at Sizzler's. It was like meat dehydration and once I started eating real meat, I knew I would need to refill my internal flesh basket. And, so I am. I am loving every last bite, if too I am now trying to moderate my consumption. Between the meat, water, sleep, and hiding from the sun a bit, I have hit every major need that was adding to my troubles. Hamburgers, even if done perfectly and fast food hamburgers are not, does not have enough of a bit or density or something to fill my meat quota.

To the store, perhaps, again tomorrow. I did not end up taking my neighbor there, if we hit several other places. I am sure he still needs milk, and I could use another gallon or two. Eating meat requires milk! I would like to stop at the police station for fingerprinting and to find out what other form(s) I really need in order to clear my record. Though, truth be told, Utah as a state may just be having me run around to merely tell me no, no matter what I do. I have heard of this. Idaho is just up the street, literally. Who knows, they might be similar.

Later. Maybe this is goodnight. It depends on what reaction Lisinopril might offer.

Today was a grim day.

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I finally spoke with the apartment manager. She only suggested that I need to 'sell' my contract, or pay it until fulfilled. That time of year, she has indicated, is a slow time for people to move in. Given that, I have gone ahead and decided to move, letting my new renter know as well. I have enough to pay both rents and utilities indefinitely, if too I might be eating beans, soup, and bologna. Well, scratch the bologna, make that liverwurst. Having my own space, a garage, and a quiet neighborhood is well worth the cost. I do have some hope, too, of finding a renter in a reasonable time. Who ever knows. What opportunity does not have direct and potential cost anyway? No good opportunities, that is for certain.

It is great to be back in the groove, mood, or cycle again! I am not going to stretch this long, again, without a good day or two of rest though. Today and tomorrow are my rest days, then back to Ogden for blood tests. As I indicated yesterday, that if I felt well enough I would begin the high blood pressure medicine this evening, since I am feeling better, at about 22:00, down the hatch she goes. I am nervous about it. I will hold to it for a week and just see how it goes.

I may have found a rifle to shoot for the hunter's safety course. It is not a sure thing yet. I simply might have a chance. I am hearing this through secondary sources so until I speak to the primary in person, I cannot be sure. I have a cleaning kit so at least it will be, very possibly, in better shape on the return than how I receive it. It has been sitting quietly, unused, for some time. A cleaning and some oil will fix anything a gun safe could possibly throw at the gun.

I was also able to remember to call my mother. She happened to be needing information as well. So, after getting each other filled in on particulars, we said our goodbyes. She will need to speak with our main family friend to find out when the actual day is. She will call back with that and I will then find us a place to stay. It is a dusty cattle town, on the plains of nowhere, but the mountains can be seen and a good place to stay, I am quite sure, can be found. I am just about to search for instructions for the drive and the mileage. With my atlas, I probably will not need to print those, just scribble some notes. Why print when you can read a map.

Though I still need to do laundry, I think a nap is in order. I may get to laundry this evening. I was a bit too tired this morning and then I started cooking beyond that. I really really need laundry cleaned though. Hmm, I wonder if some place washes it by the pound? Nah, last time I did that, everything came back grayish. *sigh* At least in the new place, I again have in house laundry! *double sigh* Hurry and wait, not yet, now, over here, over there. It will all get better, and soon I think. I should be able to get into a house at a very reasonable price by late spring or early summer. Then things will stop shifting quite so tediously, maybe.

Nap time! WooHoo! Maybe a shower so I can chill a bit first. Woot! A good day, a lot done, more to come. But for today I am done! Well, other than ribs and laundry tonight. But those are good things. Woot! I cannot wait for Saturday, when I will lounge around looking at air molecules again, and maybe put my feet up on the couch like I am not to do, and find other things annoyingly relaxing to do! Drinking out of the carton maybe? Who knows. Woot!

Not looking so good.

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No and no, pretty much. I cannot use a pistol in the shoot, though if I want to pay $4 dollars a day, when the range is open, I can use one of their rifles. Of course, that does not guarantee I can use that same rifle every time or on the day of the shoot. I will ask around and see if someone has a .22 rifle they could lend me. And, the FBI indicates that I need to get fingerprinted at the local police station and then send those in. I have to guess there must be a form too, but she did not say that. I swear, these bureaucrats are trying to trip me up every way they can. In any case, I will find out what form needs to go with that and get that done and sent in tomorrow. It takes (at least, at most, who knows) 120 days from the time they receive it. And, I bet they just jump on "receiving" it. Oh, and the dealer said Iowa had refused, Iowa says they had nothing to do with the refusal, Utah said it was the FBI who turned me down, and the FBI says it was Utah who turned me down. This might not be the right place after all.

I can only hope this last remaining chore goes more smoothly. A little hot, but not much to do for it. I did ask if, once I went through this process if I would have to go through this every time as I seem to have in the past. She said no, once I am cleared (if I am cleared), I will then receive a verification number which will end the runaround. It seems I have little to say about the matter, my sheriff can do nothing, and the NRA can do nothing.

Off I go...

Not bad.

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The ribs, by the way, were fantastic. Clean up was a breeze too. Now I can cook some meat again. And it must have been a bit cooler last night as the oven did not heat the place too much, or even noticeably.

Oh, and I woke in time to check with my neighbor. Actually, he was calling when I knocked on his door. He says nothing came in. And, he will be bicycling to the store and such. I must admit, I wonder if something did come in but that it is being reserved for a few people. I have no problem with that, I suppose. The reason I suspect this is my neighbor really hates to go to the store and bring home milk on his bike. That is part of the reason he asked me to take him today. Then again, he might just want to ride. I remain suspicious. But then I really do not care for the most part. If some did arrive and they are being held a bit, I just hope to eventually have friends who might do a similar thing and cannot begrudge someone else already having worked up such friendships. That is, after all, how things really work. And, that is not a bad thing.

I do need to get going on some of those things I canceled yesterday. Though still a bit groggy, I am good for the tasks at hand. I received an email from my potential new renter asking whether I had news. I will have news as soon as my land lady arrives at 13:30 or so. The other things are calls which I can make any time this morning. Having already showered and dressed, even before I checked with the neighbor, I am ready to do some traveling if needed. I know I need to do some laundry and finish my shopping as well if nothing else.

When I do finish my tasks, however, I am not going out looking for more to do. And, tomorrow, if I can, I will have another in-the-cave rest day. A drive to Ogden for blood work the following day, plus maybe a day at the range, will see me getting ready for the weekend. I need to buy some shoe laces for my better shoes and do some laundry to prepare for Church. Being up so early will be a trick, and everything else has to be in place as well, but I will get to Church soon. One could never say I am the fasted tortoise in the pond.

Tonight, if I do well, I will have pork ribs, cooked as they were last night. Last night I had beef ribs, on the bone. Tonight, if I do well, it will be boneless pork ribs. Tasting real meat that does not cost $4o or require leaving the home is really a needed thing. Being primarily a meat eater and liking things a certain way makes microwave meals and fast food options of last resort. But they were and will remain options and primary sources of food for the time being and until I buy into a house I would guess. Being single has many disadvantages, though I suppose many married couples do no better, eating out more than not with dual salaries rather than the fabled house wife scenario. If I find a woman, one of the things will be that she cook at least 3 meals a week, or cleans up from me doing so.

Well, I will tinker a bit since I do not need to get going immediately. I will begin making my calls at around noon, completing them when I can make contact. Hopefully I will be able to talk to someone before needing to go and talk with the landlady, but dealing with the government is not always a snappy deal. I hope I do not have to go through this every time I want to buy a gun. This is why I got a handgun buyers permit in the first place. They do not have such here, either one obtains a conceal carry permit, which does the same thing (allowing no-waiting list purchases and eliminating the check process) or one pays a $7.50 processing fee and hoping. Being that I am not a state citizen until I have lived here 6 months, and my Iowa permit does not work here, that is not an immediate option. And, yes, in Iowa, every time I tried to buy a gun until I got the permit, this is precisely what happened.

Oh, and some thoughts on 'soft' medical intervention. The actual deal is, if a therapist or doctor does not want you to have guns, they are only supposed to have one way to prevent that, two if you wish to be technical. They consider you a threat to yourself (or someone else, thus the second way) and have you committed. However, I think now they can just say they do not believe you should have guns and attach that into your file somewhere. Being that many of them are anti-gun anyway, that pretty much says most veterans who have seen a therapist (or disgruntled doctor with a poor attitude) might be outright denied, albeit secretly. Anyone treated for any of a number of problems are often written up like this. However, this is not a real and legal method (or so I have been told). If someone is a threat, they really have to commit them or let it go. Doctors need to go through a re-education on this and be punished if they tinker. As a fact, if they are not committing someone, anything else should be classified as a breech of patient doctor confidentiality. Either that, or simply make disabled veterans unable to get licenses across the board. Another "plus" for socialized medicine. As I said, if this goes badly, I will then give the NRA a call.

Well, to tinkering (the kind that does not arbitrarily mess up someone's freedoms).

Do ribs sound good to anyone else?

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I could not sleep more and I have had about all the rest I can handle. I am a bit sleepy but enough is enough. I started looking over fishing websites and looking up this and that regarding fly fishing, checking prices, figuring out what to get in the way of wet and dry flies and other lures. At some point it stops making sense. Data overload does that. After trying to rest or sleep, again, and failing, I decided to do some simple computer games. The computer games that come with Windows XP. Then I started to realize I was hungry again.

I remembered having bought some sort of "ribs in a bucket". Beyond being overpriced for the quality, if not horrible, they just did not satisfy like home cooked food does. However, the instructions lead me to think about how to prepare ribs in the oven without much mess or fuss. Simply adding barbecue sauce to the meat, wrapping the cooking sheet in aluminum foil, then wrapping the sauce covered meat in another shroud of foil, turning on the oven to 150 F, and giving it an hour and a quarter or so to steam, bake, whatever. I will let you know how they are. Hmm, looking at the clock, it says they are ready. A little past ready.

See ya.

A good day after all.

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I needed to eat large and heavy tonight. So I did. The food was fantastic, for fast food. I must have been quite hungry as I ate most of it. I am still hydrating. Along with the food, my body needed and still needs lots of water. Guzzle and gulp has been the code words of the day. That and rest and sleep. I am finally feeling 100% human. I will sleep a bit more shortly though I do not expect a long sleep. If I wake and feel as well as I do now, and it is still rather early, I may try to find an all night laundromat and do some laundry. I am down to needing underwear badly. And most of my jeans and shirts have seen extra duty.

I am amazed at how well I recuperate from physical stress now. If I keep pushing, I am sure I will become physically fit in a relatively decent amount of time, and might find that I am even able to overcome some of that other problem that has plagued me for decades. Now is the time, I suppose, to really start taking care of my health. Thankfully it has held in spite of my inability to take treatment. Even in a worst case situation, I suspect I will do better here than there.

Once I become physically fit, it will then be time to push my advantage there. To find a wife, one I will be happy with. I will need to fulfill my physique to a more exacting fit and finish. I want a body women like to touch. My height helps, and even my size intrigues women, but with some polish, the choosing of mate and sex will be up to me. Though I enjoy the notion of some fairness, I like having some advantage. It also adds incentive for her to remain or get in shape.

If I find a bigger gal who is the right fit, I will work with her. Though slimmer (not thin) is more attractive to me I really do like the whole woman. And I know no woman is perfect. I am quite sure women feel the same about men. Even should I get back to a solid 240 with 20" arms and a 31" waist, I will have my trouble spots for women. Mostly how I think and being better at language than most of them (the worse for them in debates). Even then, though, I have tried to be fair. Sometimes a woman has not been able to support her point through debate and still I went ahead and trusted her (to great outcomes). Faith in a man's woman is no less than faith in God, in the manner that understanding is not always necessary. Women have an odd way of looking at the world and discussing it but that does not mean they are always wrong.

Yes, women have been on my mind of late. Flirting with young, middle aged, and old, is one of my favorite hobbies. I do not mean dirty flirting, I just mean lifting the spirits and acknowledging our sexes in a curious and mutually flattering way. I flirted before I knew what that was really about and I hope I do so until the day I die. It has even lead married women, long ago, to introducing me to single women. That does not happen as much as it used to though.

I can always tell when a flirt could go farther. When a woman is not wearing a wedding band and I can see she is trying to see whether I am or not, I know there is a chance. Women are sneaky though, and try not to be obvious. I have to keep my eye on them, or like I like to do, get them in my peripheral vision and then show my hand. hehe Oh well. I still need to get in contact with the sister of my friend. I do not know if she is interested in meeting and doing something together, but there is no reason not to ask. If nothing else, a closer lady friend would be pleasant.

It is about bed time again. I know it will not be a long sleep cycle, but I am trying to catch up on all that I was missing. It should be a pleasant sleep though. Shallow but warm, soft and embracing, short and sweet.

Good night. May sleep see you to pleasant scenery, fun dreams, and a good awakening.

Very good!

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A long day of rest, a lot more sleep than usual, rehydration to include lots of fluids and pickles, and I am almost back in the game. I simply over worked a body that is not quite up to full time activity. I do believe I will be able to get back at it tomorrow. As a fact, I have little choice. I have promised my neighbor a ride to the store and a few other places he needs to go, I have a few things to do that I could not complete today, and then I can rest again by early evening. If tomorrow goes smoothly, if my body and mind are working again, I will begin Lisinopril tomorrow night.

I must have really pushed the last few days. And though I attempted to stay hydrated, the road is sometimes a tight place to try and drink as much as one needs. The body, too, needs rest at least one day a week, and I pushed that this time. I thought I got away with it before, though I crashed for two days the last time, come to think about it. I guess I did not get away with it. The reason for two days of R&R then, I think, was because I was not familiar with dehydration so I had not been even trying to tend that. Live, and yes I do, learn.

I am hoping, soon, to be able to have more spare time for fishing. Business has been my activity for too long. I am hoping to have relaxation, fishing, and maybe small hikes become more of my activities in the days to come. I have found a few minor hiking trails which might be cooler and which are also relatively close. Though the heat might keep anything I do limited to short times, specific parts of the day, and always with more water and gatorade than what fall will might require. Every little bit will help.

I am so tired of microwave food that I think I am going to shower and go out to eat. Fancy restaurants are not in the lineup. Some fast food joint will do. I do not like Burger King's fries, but I like their burgers better. Perhaps I will get the hamburger there and go to McDonald's for their fries. I do not like most fast food fries, just McDonalds' fries. It is a bit more expensive that way, and the burger gets a bit cooler than preferred, but it is a better meal. I have loved it, in the past, when the two are right next to each other. Even if I got evil eyes from workers at both places for giving neither the full nickle. Ha. Eye kill threats from burger flippers. Yeah, that is scary. Ha!

Oh, I might grab a gallon of milk and a three gallons of water while I am out. I like to grab more, but this will make it so I have less to carry at a time, since I can pick up the other half of my fluid needs when I take my neighbor to the store. Yeah, that is the ticket. I should eat the meat I have in the fridge, but, I simply do not want to cook tonight. Though I am doing a lot better, I am not doing that much better. Stupid dishes are the problem, not the cooking.

Well, I best get going.

Oops!

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I had a light but sure plan of attack for today. That will not happen. I am not just still a bit tired, I am beat. Today, instead, will be a day of quiet rest. I feel like I just climbed Mount Everest with a midget as well as my gear on my back. I need to idle and refresh or I will break, one way or another. I am pleased with what I have accomplished, how well I have been tracking, how many things I am involved with, but I need to be practical.

Beyond exhaustion, there is nausea, a headache, and a few other things. I am treating it, in part, as dehydration, though I know it is more than that if dehydration probably is some third or half of the problem. I can barely keep my eyes open. I still think fairly well, but that could leave if I do not take a nap. And, no, I have not started my medicine yet. Good thing, or I might have quit it immediately. I do not believe I will start the medicine until I can give it a fair trial, most likely in a day or two.

I have had this type of dip one other period since I have arrived. I was able to work my way out of it rather quickly though. I am hoping this will occur again. I have not had a day inside in over a week and I have been wearing myself out and more every day since my last rest day as well. I may get one thing done, if I can call my Mom later. Though that was not necessarily on my list of things for the day, the big main ones, it will be good to do at least one thing. But even most phone calls are going to be too much. I am simply tired to the point of not being able to talk well or receive data and negotiate all the possibilities that go with even seemingly simple conversations with strangers regarding business.

Rest... Just a day of rest... Yes, I think so.

Sleep?

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Oh yes, sleep. I have had a very long week, driving everywhere and all day on several occasions, and not having a day to relax in quite a while. And, even today, and the next day or two will still be busy even if I was able to sleep later in the morning today. I actually slept pretty well last night, waking just a bit between sleeping long hours before and after waking. I would have been able to wake early this morning. Though still tired, I was technically up. But I wanted more sleep today, so back into bed I went. I really have been pushing. Finally waking a bit before 13:00, I think I overslept. But that actually feels good at the moment.

My landlady does not arrive until 13:30, and then she often has a bit of a line. So I will mosey on down at 14:30 or 15:00. She might still be busy, she seems to work just enough to stay busy. She says she has more going on than she can keep track of at times. But that means, to me, that she is really earning the pay check. And, from when I have worked, that seems about right. If you can stay on top of work, easily, and you do not have to prioritize your efforts, you probably are not needed and will be canceled or you are about to have a workbomb land on your assignment sheet.

I will call about using my pistol at the hunter's safety course and call regarding the block on my gun purchases today too. I want to be a quarter more awake than what I am now. That should happen before I talk to the apartment manager. If not, I should still have time afterward. Blogging, some blog reading, and tinkering tend to wake me up. If my neighbor appears, I will talk with him a bit. That too tends to help. After those things are done, I should be able to give my potential new renters a call. I really am getting things done, and for me, at a break-neck speed.

Oh, I had best call my mother and find out exactly when the family reunion is, where we will be staying or if we need a hotel, and such. I have an appointment at the Ogden V.A. Clinic around then and I have been scheduled for podiatry around that time. They were quick with that, called me this morning actually. Maybe I can rid myself of hammer toes sometime before too long. Maybe right after my lady friend leaves and then the other foot mid-summer. It would sure make being active a bit easier. There is nothing more fun than walking on your toenails, along with the odd foot placement to try to mitigate that.

See, I complete one thing and... Ah well, most of you know that far better than I do! Ha! Do not poke too much fun at this old turtle. *grins*

I keep wondering.

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I wonder about many things. Some of those things have no connection to me. Why a particular phenomenon occurs when it seems to be against logic or where the probability is so low as to be unlikely beyond thought and then it occurs. Other things I wonder about are considered merely because I am curious about how they work. I like to see how some things tick. Some things which give me pause are in regard to other people. How could they have gotten to where they are coming from where they came. How did two people meet, fall in love, and stay married despite being so very different. And personally, I think about some things. Why do I keep trying medicine for example, with the very poor track record it has.

Some of those things I can figure out or at least make a plausible guess as to why they do what they do. Often wrong to be sure, as many things just defy direct logic. Some things I can nail. Some large chunk of the reality that surrounds us is direct. Rocks fall straight down if dropped without lateral forces, water is good on a hot day, and the moon and sun show up cyclically whether we can always see them or not. And I enjoy considering many things, if most of them only get a shallow treatment. I have a simple understanding, for example, of plants and trees. Given a simple test (multiple choice of course), I might even be able to correctly identify the names of the various cells, the life cycle of plants and trees, and such. And yet I could not differentiate various oak tree cells under a slide, or even probably separate an oak from barley for all I know (unless I could clearly see bark or some other tell tale sign before looking through the scope).

My current personal question regards medicine. I keep trying and it keeps failing. Perhaps because I was given no choice with regards to medicine, perhaps because my blood pressure is higher than even the old high, or maybe I think this is such a different place that it might act differently or my own changes in behavior will mitigate the problems. Add all three and there is definitely some impetus to take them. The thing is, I had meant not to be talked into it again. So, my wondering goes to whether I am simply weak minded or weak willed or something. I have had high blood pressure for a decade or so now, and diabetes for half that. I probably should have had a stroke or heart attack long ago. It is not that I want that, it is merely that the medicines have been worse than death in that they have limited my already limited life. I simply do not understand why I keep trying.

Although, I really will refuse any diabetes medicine. It does not work until they get to a level where it drops my sugar to 60. At 600, I can handle it. Things become a bit difficult, such as thinking, concentration, and getting started on things, but not impossible. At a blood sugar of 60, I am terribly confused, extremely exhausted, often on the verge of passing out, and I feel terrible for a week or two around that. And it can drop very quickly, where it only rises just so fast. Usually my diet handles diabetes, but with the fast food and such to try and avoid having to eat microwave dinners all the time and also not have to cook, I think I am stuck with a bit high on that until I decide to buy into a house and begin cooking righteous food again. Ackh!

I was also wondering why everything I do ends up requiring a dozen other actions, it seems. Nothing quite gets done, no matter how much I do, and sometimes one thing really does lead to four more things as follow-up (or more). Even when that does not occur, new things pop up into my life at a, sometimes, dizzying speed. I thought I was retired! At least now I am shooting them down like a professional shooter hitting clays. One escapes from time to time, but that is becoming quite rare. Sometimes I need to juggle things a bit longer than had been planned or hoped, but I do get to them. I am amazed at both how much of life I had been missing, how much I really am beginning to be able to handle, and how much I simply did not see, react to, or complete before (and mostly without consequence).

I am still quite slow and my life would seem simple to most of you. But compare it to staying in my cave for weeks, even months, at a time only leaving to go to the store once a week or every other week. If bills were not on automatic pay they simply did not get paid. If there was something interesting happening in the city I would not go, though oddly I often knew. I could not mow or deal with snow (I was able to do a LOT of shoveling and snow blowing on the Ritalin though). I am now leaving the place one to three times a day. I stand for hours at a time. I drive, do very minor hikes, go fishing and shooting, take care of business like I knew what I was doing, handle my finances fairly well, and such. Perhaps there is hope for medicine at this point.

Though, as we all know, I am terrible about taking medicine. Or was. This really is a new world. This is an almost magic place for me. A lot of things to wonder about.

I have been commenting less at other blog places. I read less, though in a good way. I used to visit most of my favorite blogs several times a day, or many times really. I now only stop in 3 to 4 times a day or less, look for new posts or comments, then slip away. Summer time is often the low point in blogging, or one of them, for most. That and deep winter seem to be slow. The heat or cold, or that both are traditional vacation times, seems to be that ticket. I am hoping people turn out more soon. Although too, I am so tired of hearing about the deranged dear leader and his cast of clowns that I have little interest in hearing more. Neither will hearing more help to change anything nor will it make me better in any way. I give, we know he and his are losers, fools, despots, ignorant, malevolent, and worthless. Yeah, I got that, before they took office.

Though, I suppose someone must light the church steeple lanterns and be pointing out that the enemy has arrived. They need to keep track and disseminate what is really going on. And they need to keep the free speach channel open. We are at serious risk of simply being swallowed by the evil of it. When the canaries start dying, we will know what our choices are. Most will bend a knee, should that start to happen, one way or another. No matter who might win that thing, it will be messy. And, whichever side wins, it will be a minority and they will be a hard minority.

I woke a bit ago and could not fall directly back to sleep. I may be able to sleep again shortly. One thing I have thought though, is if the medicine does make me sleepy, I may take it in the evening. Perhaps that would see me sleeping through the nights. If the effect is less than before due to being here, and I take it in the evening, it might fix two things at once. Whatever, I still do not know why I agreed to take it at all. Ha!

Good night.

More done more to do.

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I was able to rise early. Though not as early as I should have liked, I think it worked better this way as I did not have to wait long for anything anywhere. I drove to Taylorsville, went in, filled out some paperwork, stood in line, got ejected to another area and waited there. It seems there is something federal keeping me from buying a gun. I explained that I have and have had a permit to buy handguns for the large part of the last four years in Iowa, that it is current, and that I called my sheriff's office and they said it was all in order. Only then did the woman working with me offer me a phone number to try and clear that up. So, tomorrow, after I speak with my landlady about the contract I need to place another call. And, no, they better not ask me to drive to Washington, D.C. either. If all else fails, I will be getting in contact with the NRA, of which I am a member.

I saw my 'doc'. She seems okay. My blood pressure was around 220 over 127. She refused to offer a 'stimulant' as she described it though offered that if I lower my blood pressure, she would add that. She wrote me a script and made sure it was filled before I left. I told her I would try it (Lisinopril, the same thing I was on before). She also ordered the water pill I used to take but that has to be sent. She wants me in for a fasting blood draw as well. I said I would try the medicine, again. Right now if I sleep too much it will not interfere with too many other things. But I also said I simply will not continue to take it if it does cause the same lethargy as before. In a month I have another appointment. Oddly, the place was not packed and parking was easy.

After that, I filled with gas and then tried to call the owner of the cabin. I let it ring a bit this time, since it was not meal time. He finally answered and told me to come on up. He was doing work on the place but he said he would take some time and show me around. It is a fantastic place. He has it set up well. He showed me around the cabin and the pointed out some specific scenery and told me how to handle heating, the wood stove, and a few other such things. Then we talked for a bit. He has an interesting story or three, and I told him a little bit about myself. Oh, and since I was going, I grabbed some cash to pay the deposit, rather than having to send it in the mail. That was a last minute consideration that worked well. Now we do not have to worry about the mail, sending time, and worry about loss.

I am rather worn, at this point. I am not sure if I will get to Ogden again soon. I might wait until mid or late week to do that. I am simply tired of driving. The city part of the drive is always the worst, but even the highway has become a bit dull. Perhaps, though doubtfully, I will have the gun issue cleared by the time I get to Ogden again so that I am able to purchase that stupid rifle. Then again, I may call tomorrow and see if my .22 pistol is good enough for the shoot. If so, I will practice with it. I am running out of time to get, target in, and the practice enough for my liking with a new firearm.

I need a nap. Another glass of milk or some ice water, and down I will go. Later, perhaps.

Sleeping is totally weird.

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I cannot sleep when I want, sometimes I am too tired, sometimes I am not tired enough, sometimes it is too hot, sometimes everything is right but because it changed to rightness I cannot sleep because of the change! Or, I should say, I cannot sleep when I would like to sleep. I do sleep 6 to 8 hours a day, every day. And I nap sometimes too. But deciding when to sleep is such a bear. Still, I am going to make a huge effort to sleep early or at least wake by 8:00. I want to be showered, dressed, and away by 9:00. That will absolutely ensure that I can do everything in one day. Beside wanting to visit with my landlady by Tuesday, the cost of gas going down, and the exhaustion from driving all over the state is starting to become a real drag. Plus, the sooner these other things are done, the sooner I can get back to thinks like fishing and perhaps finding places to hike.

My neighbor and myself went plinking again today. I did not set up the target. We were both shooting our guns out for a number of reasons. His because of the new parts, mine to get it loosened back up after cleaning and oiling, and to pound some of the extra oil and cleaner from areas I cannot access so as to remove the extra. It was fun. And, today was cooler. So much so, I forgot my swimming trunks. Nothing every happens exactly as planned, or every time, or even soon. But it all gets done, eventually. So, eventually, I will be swimming in that stream, some other river, or a lake, and most likely all of the above.

The .22 ammunition I was shooting in my pistol was indeed hot. So hot that I had to aim a good 6" below the target. I hate such bullets. As well, with the Winchesters, I had about 6 failures. It was the ammunition. They were printed with the firing pin. They also seemed quite dirty. There were no failure to feeds or eject though, as often happens with hot loads. Still, a failure is a failure, whatever the cause. I consider this ammo junk ammo. It is fine for plinking, if I do not mind missing often and having occasional failures.

On the way into town, or at least before heading home, I stopped at the store. I finally have a re-supply of pickles! I prefer them ice cold, so it will be a bit. The juice is better really cold as well. The cold helps with the *snap* in the pickle and makes the juice more refreshing. I picked up some sausage and eggs as well, now that I have my cast iron skillet out. Fried eggs and sausage might help some mornings. And it is vastly superior to microwave food. Plus, since I am mearly using the cast iron, cleanup should be easy enough.

There is not much else going on today. Which is good. I have been stretching myself the last two weeks. If I can get these last few time sensitive chores done by Wednesday if not earlier, I may just take a two day vacation and hide out in the apartment before getting going again. Maybe to work on my sleep patterns, maybe just to dream about them. *grins* I need to get a count on available money and credit too.

With everything going on, the various costs and time involved for things, and just the way life is, I really need some time off to review things, make contacts, confirm or ask about specifics, and just have breezy days in general. It is not even as if what I am doing is as complicated as work, but it is getting there, slowly but surely. And that is exactly what I am hoping to emulate.

I think I will dinker on the machine a bit, then try to sleep. I am really tired, if not quite ready for bed. No nap today, if I did rise a bit later. Maybe a good long sleep is in order. I am becoming duller and duller as I become more and more ready for sleep.

Good night.

Projects.

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I am awake, after a good nap. As I have been researching this, tinkering with that, blogging here and there, and just wasting time my mind has been working on things it is interested in. It had started to recount my duties, responsibilities, promises, and such. So, rather than have all that rolling around loose in an already cluttered and wearied mind, I decided to number them, their list in the chain of events in which they belong roughly, and allow myself some temporary peace.

I have a V.A. appointment Monday. Since it is the first visit here, I have no extra commitments regarding it. I do need, however, to get orders in to be seen at dental, the eye clinic, and to visit the foot doctor. I will be questioning her regarding a possible medicinal regimen as well. Other than that, I have nothing else there. Though too, on that day, if I can wake early enough I would like to revisit the place in Taylorsville so as to buy the .22 rifle or find out what the problem is at least. Then, if there is time in the afternoon, I would like to visit with the renter of the cabin and take a look at the place. That is a lot to do in one day, and is dubious due to both the early rising and the long hours, plus all the driving. I have been known to pull miracles out of indelicate places before though. Tuesday, if that all did not get done, I will need to drive to the area again.

I still need to talk to the apartment manager and see if we can arrange for an end of contract in about two months. I would like to do that Monday or Tuesday, but the facts remain that it really might not happen until Wednesday. When I get that answered, or roughly, I will then need to contact the people I will be house sitting for. I had suggested I would have this done Friday, forgetting I had been meaning to (if fruitlessly) drive to Taylorsville. Complications and twists, life is full of them.

After the purchasing of guns is cleared, if it is in my favor, I then need to purchase the rifle and begin targeting it in. I need to have that completed and be ready for the shoot by the 29th of August. I should print out a number of targets for practice as well. They are offered for download and printing at the online address where I took the online version of the course. I have 1500 rounds, and more, of .22 ammunition. Most of it medium velocity. I may just shoot the high velocity new stuff and save the medium velocity for better aim. Now that I realize .22 ammunition is all about $7.50 per 50 (or more), I do not mind buying locally. Especially since it is target specific ammunition. Several maybes there, but that is how it goes.

I also need to begin planning for my visit to our family friend's family reunion. I am not sure where that is being held, exactly, or where I will be staying. To that end, I need to speak with my Mom again. I believe she will then need to make some calls and get back to me. That will be complicated and take at least a week to arrange, I am almost sure. It might take more but it will not take less time.

Then, depending on what happens with the contract for this apartment, I will probably begin loading some of what I have here and taking it to the storage unit. Simply put, I would like a very light and easy move to the new place. I can then, as needed and wanted, haul some of what I want to the house. All this depends on the current contract and the possibility of getting out of it.

I want (need) to get back to fishing. I have been doing so much else that there has been little time for it. Though too, with the heat getting into the 95 F to 100 F range, fishing has been sidetracked by that as well. This week is supposed to be in the 85 range, better for fishing and getting out in general. Half of this week seems destined to be on the road, potentially, though. I want trout for dinner! And perhaps some pictures for you. Though my camera seems to be dying. I did get the discs, and I did try to take a picture in Ogden. The results from a single try, the heat, and the need to get going, however, really did not leave me hopeful. To that end I have been looking over used cameras for sale. I am hoping for a better Nikon, either an F100 or and F5, a decent simple lens (to start out with), and little else. Since this will be for landscapes, I do not think I need a flash (right away). In time, it would be good to get a flash. Though I believe a telephoto and wide angle lens would come first, good ones. Pricey ones. Ackh! All this for you, my dear readers. *grins*

As well, I have bigger hunting on my mind. Though this can wait until early next year. I want a rifle first, but a black powder gun and a bow are on the list for either next year or the year after. Whatever I get, I need to get it in a timely manner. I need to have it in time to practice with it, sight it in, and be ready well before hunting season begins. And, as with all things, simply buying what might seem simply all that is needed is never enough. For the rifle, for example, I will probably want a good scope. To sight that in, depending on how well this spotting scope I have works, I may need a better spotting scope. I will need plenty of ammunition of several varieties to see what works best with my rifle (or if I can find primers by then, start figuring out the best loading tables for my gun, which again would require something else, a decent chronograph). See, it never stops. But that too is the price life, success, and such demand.

And before hunting, I need to finish making plans for my lady friend's visit. The airplane tickets and cabin are just the start, if thankfully, the biggest ticket items. I plan on having several good meals planned. With only three days there, that will probably handle most meals. Though I would like to have one good real breakfast of sausage, eggs, bacon, toast, juice, coffee, and maybe rolls or biscuits. Though the big ticket items should be covered in September or October, the little details of food and an outgoing hotel room remain. I am trying to make this vacation as seamless as possible for her. Perhaps she can just enjoy a little quiet time. Oh, and I do have a few small stocking-stuffers in mind for her.

I also have some planning and actions I must do and take in order to start school in January. I need to order my transcripts from the University of Iowa, Kirkwood Community College, Indian Hills Community College, and Iowa Lakes Community College. Then I need to actually apply, speak with an academic adviser, and then take my enrollment to the local V.A. Vocational Rehabilitation office and have them apply for my records, all in a timely enough way so as to actually be ready for spring. I cannot do it now as the professors and advisers seem to be awol if fairly, and not really until a few months into school so that I am not burdening a newly started school year faculty and staff (bad juju-bees, that). Which, in with the rest, means I will need to do this at about the time I need to go to Colorado and when I get back and need to begin my move. Okay, fine. No one ever said this was going to be easy.

Now, I have a few other pots on the stove, but that should give you an idea of what I have cooking. I really have no idea how I will get it all done, how any of it will come out, or how I got into so many things. I will merely say that what gets done, gets done. I do believe I will do all of it up to the point that I am able. How I will keep track and do right, how does anyone live this complex thing called life? If I keep doing well, as I seem to be, it will simply be done and someday I will wonder at the fact that I worried about it at all. And, probably, regardless of how any of it turns out! Life is magic. So, I try not to worry too much. Between God, family, friends, and myself, it works.

I must admit, I have strongly considered abandoning all that and merely plotting to take over the world. My mandates will be bold and just as foolish as they are bold (and ignored?). My armies will be great (beer drinkers, lazy most other ways). Such is the world of despots. Oh well, perhaps I will have to do something even better, making the first craft to go the speed of light, then go. hehe Ah well, I suppose I must play in my mind or go mad. I just hate it when I am in there playing and someone locks the door. You can go goofy in there. Yes, I ought to just stick to the works in progress.

Good night.

Another day out.

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My friend did not want to go shooting or fishing. Beside fear of rain for him, I think it was too cold. We stopped at a store and I bought some more bullets for the .45, though just 50 to shoot out the oil. I also bought a few more types of lures on my list and some snells fishing hooks, and a few smaller treble hooks. They had no red fish egg baits, so I skipped that. He picked up a 50 pack of .45 bullets as well, and a fishing lure holder in which to put the original parts for his .45.

We then headed to a park and the local zoo. The area was packed, it seems there is a rodeo going on. It started today, so I doubt if they had more than opening ceremonies tonight, though I could be wrong. I have not seen a rodeo in years so I would like to go. I have other things planned though. As well, I do not want to fight the crowds and mess with that after my last and future city travels. Instead, I wanted to drive up Providence Canyon. He had only been up it to about two blocks in. We ended up going about 4 miles or more up the canyon. It was quite a ride. There were places where I had to use low/low to get through. I got as far as I was confident going and then went another half a mile! There were some spots that were quite spooky. I could see my neighbor was not comfortable, and I was beyond my sure comfort level by a goodly bit, so I turned around. He did not think the road went further either (he says things like that when he is at his limits, rather than just asking if we could turn back, or that he is tired, or cold, or such).

I actually stopped there, got out, and did a bit of hiking to check the trail ahead. It does keep going, though there is a bit of a better path. Then again, it was harder in a different way to get to what later turned into the better path. The Xterra did very well. But it tested everything I know about driving and what the Xterra, that I know of, can offer. I would like to go up again with others who go all the way and see how they tackle some of the more difficult terrain. I really want to get to the top, and maybe camp. It was a lot cooler in that canyon, as it was tighter, much steeper and closer walls kept the sun out and channeled wind through it, as well as a much quicker ascent so higher altitude by far than what Logan Canyon ever attains.

After that, a stop at the Golden Coral was the ticket. I have only, usually, been eating small amounts and infrequently. But today I was hungry. I usually stop at one plate, or at most just get a small second serving. Today I ate two good sized platefuls, enough tea that they ran out, but I could not contemplate deserts. Cooked meats, and a variety of them, was my main hunger. Though, as I think back on it, some vegetables did land on my plate somehow. My neighbor, usually a much lighter eater than even I, loaded up two big plates. He might have rivaled me! It was a good day for a buffet. Though, I would think we ate lighter than most hungry men who enter their place of business, if I drank tea for three of them.

Tomorrow, it seems, we will be going shooting. I checked my church. Their services are in the early morning, not at 17:00 as I had thought. Yeah no. I simply cannot be awake by 9:00, let alone be to Church by then. It just does not work, no matter how hard I try or what I do, except once in a while for no reason I understand. So, shooting it is. And, I will be taking swimming trunks and a towel. My neighbor had thought I was joking about that. I assured him that, cold or even very cold, in I will go. The nice thing about this place we are going is that there are enough trees for cover that I will not need to take a change tent. If a critter sees my dinkydoo, too bad. Though I refuse to pay psychology sessions for wild game with penis envy or infatuations if female. Ha! "No, little beaver, that is not a rifle. No, little muskrat, I will not drain the waters with it." Ha!

Some shooting, a drive, and some swimming, and I should be good and tired tomorrow night. I want to swim more so since I was not able to be out in any rain. If it rained here, I did not see it.

My neighbor wants to look at my .45. He is not sure, exactly, how it works. He has shot one. He has an idea of how they work. But he has not looked at the parts schematic or seen one taken down. He used to do parts machining and works on his own pistols, so curiosity has gotten the best of him. After that, I will either be napping or outright sleeping. I am getting tired. A big meal, the interesting drive, and the high altitude seems to have drained me.

Wrestling with sleep.

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And losing. I did get a good long nap in after returning from my trip. And I tried to sleep this morning but that did not happen. I did get several hours of rest time in, twice though. I was about to try again when my phone rang. After pulling myself out of grog and reaching for the phone, only to not find it, I had to waken a bit more to try and locate the sound. Right when I was sort of close it stopped ringing. Close enough, it had been in my pants pocket. Yes, I then remembered having put it there to free my hands for other things I needed to bring up to the apartment.

My lady friend had called. She had several things on her mind, but more, she needed someone to talk to according to the message she had left. Being that I am her only friend, that sort of limited the field. She then asked if she was coming out for Christmas, which I took to mean whether I was getting things arranged. I explained that I had rented the cabin and that I had not called her because I could not get the plain tickets until next month. And, that I have been pretty busy and active, so calling her with the news had slipped my mind. I should call her once in a while, I think she is now realizing what not having me near really means. She was tired and wanted to go to bed. I asked her how her gardening was going and she indicated strongly that she did not want to talk about it. Fine, fine, I said as I chuckled to myself. Then we said our goodbyes.

Since that woke me up and I was not going to sleep anyway, I was pretty sure, I decided to call my Mom. She is doing well and staying quite busy. She is in charge of cooking a meal for 200 people for the wedding party of a daughter of a friend. The meal is today at noon. Most of the work is done, though fine details and some last parts are left. She was in good spirits and happy to hear from me. She has lost some weight too, staying busy and watching what she eats. I filled her in on what is going on here and asked some advice about that help I would like to offer (she is pretty good about such matters and intervenes or assists many people on many matters). But I could tell she was getting busy with lists and planning, her mind started to drift. So, we said our goodbyes and ended the call.

Oh, she reminded me that a friend of ours is having a family reunion Labor Day. Labor Day is the fall one, right? In October I think, or is it September. In any case, it is in Colorado. I think I can go, so long as it is not when I need to move. Complications are always the way, though usually things can be mitigated. These are people I have not seen in decades, some of them as much as 30 years or more. Plus, the food is fantastic. I may have sounded a little unsure, but I think I will find a way to be there. As well, I think my Mom really misses me. I think the visit will help settle her.

My brother, she says, is doing well. He is afraid he will not be able to work. I know that feeling. I understand what he is going through. Separating our self value from our economic potential is very difficult, for men more than women I think. Whether it is ingrained in us, whether it is just a natural aspect of our nature, or maybe a bit of both, when we face a brick wall on that, it hurts like little else. At least he might be able to receive an increase in his disability check. And, perhaps, with a little down time, he can find things to fill his time. Perhaps he can go back to school. He and his family remain in my prayers, even if we probably will never speak to each other again.

It may rain today, and during the day light hours! It has rained, or more dropped a bit of small droplets, the last two days. But today it could pour. If it does, I want to be in it for a bit. I wonder if it will be freezing cold, being that we are at 4,000 foot of elevation (I believe)? Either way, I am ready for raindrops on my noggin. I doubt if it would rain long enough to hamper target practice though.

Have a great day!

Shooting, tomorrow I do believe.

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My neighbor and myself are going to shoot tomorrow. I am not sure where, but if we go to the first shooting area, I am going to take my swimming trunks. Hmm, actually all of the shooting areas have some stream or "lake" (really a dammed lake) in which to swim. So, a towel, trunks, and a willingness to just get in there will be all I need. I even have a 'changing shack' to take with. It is actually an enclosed camping shower, but it will work if needed. I did say I had been collecting gear, right? I knew I would not need a changing room, but when dealing with women and camping, one must facilitate. And, of course, I like to surprise a girl (lady, woman, they are all those things and more, but the term girl works, and they even like that sometimes). Being a little ahead of her on her needs and wants is no small way to win favor.

Anyway, I will be taking the .45 for which I will try to grab 150 more rounds. Of the 3boxes, only one will be to shoot. I am trying to stock up on ammo. As I said, I would like to get 2k to 4k of that on hand. I want to shoot that since I cleaned it down to the bolts and butt, toes and forehead, and all. In part, I want to bang some of the extra lube out. I will just clean the barrel after this shoot. But I really just want to see if she is shooting more smoothly. It is fun to shoot a creamy gun that just bangs and whizzes and bangs again. I will also be taking my .22 pistol and rifle. I should be able to finish targeting the rifle. Then I can begin getting them targeted in for the hunter's safety course shoot. I do not know if they will let me use the pistol yet or I would just take it and concentrate on it. The pistol is so much lighter and easier to shoot. And at 50 feet, I cannot miss unless I just look away and pull the trigger as fast as I can.

I do need a day off and soon though. A day of rest, just in the house. Those are addictive though, and detrimental until they become a true rarity. To that end, I may do some laundry tomorrow too, and try to make it to Church this Sunday. It is about time I get that Churchy project started. I have been holding off on that, for a number of reasons. But I really need to get that project going. I will find out about confession too, when that is held, and take care of that. Though I still fear that a bit, I feel tons better when it is tended. It is almost like a haircut. :p

I am so amazed that life has picked up so strongly here. One might suggest psychosomatic impulses drive this, but I would doubt that. I have had that affect before. It simply does not last this long. And, it never survives a real crash that I seemed headed for a few weeks ago. Each week, as time passes, and in spite of the heat, I am able to do more and more. I am in the middle of literally a dozen separate projects, all multi-faceted, relatively complex, time consuming, requiring thought interaction and timing, and through time, adding or having projects added all the time. I have also completed about that many various projects. I only have so much money, so much time, and so much energy, if that last is increasing as I push and am pushed, that I have to really be careful. But it is magical!

I did note, when speaking to the professor and her husband, that should I graduate whether I stop at undergraduate or not, I will not be leaving Utah. If I cannot get to graduate school here, I simply will not go (though there are quite a number of colleges in state which offer a masters in engineering, it is a good state that way, like Iowa is or was). She, and he as well, suggested that I would not need to move even before I said I would not. I do like this state, at least the northern and mountainous more rural areas. You can keep Salt Lake City, though if required for a masters, I would, grudgingly, do that.

I even have a project in mind, a project to help someone. I am not sure how far I can float it, as I could never do it all on my own. There is someone who needs some serious help. I am making plans to go around to some people and organizations who could help. I am willing to put some of my own money into it as well as time and effort. It may be a bit of a struggle. Pride is a difficult thing to overcome. But I think in the end, I might be able to do a really good thing for someone who could really use the assistance. There may be more too it than pride, but I think that can be overcome too. It is just a thought currently, one I have been rolling around and hammering out. But to be a part in vastly improving someone's life, health, and social possibilities is a very good thing.

The night is cool. The moon is out and nearly full. And it has been a long day. So, good night.