.
.
It will not work and I know it will not work but I will try the stuff until it is gone. I will brew the tea, cool it, add the liquid stuff, munch a couple of the pills, and go read until sunlight. Whenever I do happen to get up, however, I will try to do some work. I have been so drained that doing anything is a heavy chore. The garage needs work, the house needs work, and the roof of the hen house has to be torn off. If I can just get to bits and pieces, taking rest as needed, the rest will fall in line, I am almost certain of that.
Sassy is still a bit sluggish. They suggested that the pain killers were still in affect. Though too, I am sure her wound is taking it's toll too. Sam still does not like her but she is being gentler. She seems to have some sort of honor code. Thank God for small favors. Sam is outside pouting. I think she thought I had gotten rid of the little fart basket. She will come around. If I thought she would not end up being more trouble to Sassy than not, out of precaution, I would keep Sam in the house for the next few days to avert her running away. Women!
Well, it is about time to hit it, or try. Good night all.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Life is good.
.
.
My Mom called. We talked for just a bit. I told her about my sleep problems, Sassy detention, and the sluggishness that is going on. But I told her I have a thumb on it and am trying to get it under control. We both know I probably never will figure it out. Even if the medical field wanted to look into it seriously, they probably could not find a fix. Like carburetors of old, something in me sticks open or shut and the complexities of some odd carburetors have nothing on a human system, and even some of those were simply junked because they could not be made to work. That I continue to try and even succeed to a degree, comparatively, offers some hope of more than a completely misplaced end-life.
Sassy is back! She was missed. I am not so sure Sam was happy about her return. I had thought Sam missed the kitten when she was gone, but that may have been a mistake. We will see. Then again, reading a cat's emotions and notions is something akin to telling what a woman feels. Adding to the complexity is the realization that what a woman feels is not always what she thinks, needs, or wants. The confusion regarding such things, I think, is similar to cats. Female cats more so too? Who really knows.
I do notice that I love to go out and about. There are dozens of women out there, you know. And I enjoy subtle flirtations, minor pleasantries, and other interactions with that half of the species. They are difficult to tack down, true enough. But then these particular ones are not really on my target list. Wife shopping is one thing, window shopping is quite another. Which leads into something else on my mind, about a particular woman.
My masseuse. Along with the chiropractic treatments I have been receiving massages. Most of the time I receive them from a particular woman. She is engaged. We have talked often about this and that, from family to whatever. This last visit, I asked how old she was. Then I teased that if I were a little younger and her situation were a little different, I might be chasing her. Well! She did not kick me out or anything, but she did become quite defensive. Her fiance, she suggested, is 6'6". I did not say this, but I was "trained" on big guys, bigger than me. Further, I doubt if he is even a warrior. He would, honestly, have little chance against me. No brag, just the way it is. Second, she is an atheist, give or take. She is not of actual interest. If she had been, which she would have known if she thought about it, I would have asked her to tea. I do not enter a thing passively. I do or do not, I do not dither, hint, or otherwise dance around the thing. Though asking a woman to tea might seem passive, understand it as an interview, with little exposure financially, through time loss, or in a personal way, rather than a light date. It IS doing, if in a way that favors my interests. Why the strong reaction though? I honestly thought she knew me better by now. Bah, women!
Well, that is it for now. Time to... do something... or not. Sassy is still a little groggy. Light feeding and gentleness are the things she will get for a while. I need to check for infection and tend her a bit. Not a problem after what I had done to her. Anyway, later.
.
My Mom called. We talked for just a bit. I told her about my sleep problems, Sassy detention, and the sluggishness that is going on. But I told her I have a thumb on it and am trying to get it under control. We both know I probably never will figure it out. Even if the medical field wanted to look into it seriously, they probably could not find a fix. Like carburetors of old, something in me sticks open or shut and the complexities of some odd carburetors have nothing on a human system, and even some of those were simply junked because they could not be made to work. That I continue to try and even succeed to a degree, comparatively, offers some hope of more than a completely misplaced end-life.
Sassy is back! She was missed. I am not so sure Sam was happy about her return. I had thought Sam missed the kitten when she was gone, but that may have been a mistake. We will see. Then again, reading a cat's emotions and notions is something akin to telling what a woman feels. Adding to the complexity is the realization that what a woman feels is not always what she thinks, needs, or wants. The confusion regarding such things, I think, is similar to cats. Female cats more so too? Who really knows.
I do notice that I love to go out and about. There are dozens of women out there, you know. And I enjoy subtle flirtations, minor pleasantries, and other interactions with that half of the species. They are difficult to tack down, true enough. But then these particular ones are not really on my target list. Wife shopping is one thing, window shopping is quite another. Which leads into something else on my mind, about a particular woman.
My masseuse. Along with the chiropractic treatments I have been receiving massages. Most of the time I receive them from a particular woman. She is engaged. We have talked often about this and that, from family to whatever. This last visit, I asked how old she was. Then I teased that if I were a little younger and her situation were a little different, I might be chasing her. Well! She did not kick me out or anything, but she did become quite defensive. Her fiance, she suggested, is 6'6". I did not say this, but I was "trained" on big guys, bigger than me. Further, I doubt if he is even a warrior. He would, honestly, have little chance against me. No brag, just the way it is. Second, she is an atheist, give or take. She is not of actual interest. If she had been, which she would have known if she thought about it, I would have asked her to tea. I do not enter a thing passively. I do or do not, I do not dither, hint, or otherwise dance around the thing. Though asking a woman to tea might seem passive, understand it as an interview, with little exposure financially, through time loss, or in a personal way, rather than a light date. It IS doing, if in a way that favors my interests. Why the strong reaction though? I honestly thought she knew me better by now. Bah, women!
Well, that is it for now. Time to... do something... or not. Sassy is still a little groggy. Light feeding and gentleness are the things she will get for a while. I need to check for infection and tend her a bit. Not a problem after what I had done to her. Anyway, later.
Oh well.
.
.
The sleep stuff caused not even a slowing of my corporeal juggernaut. Along with the cocktail of tea and melatonin, I added valerian root. I munched it. I had heard it tastes terrible and to have food in my stomach, though perhaps I misheard. It was tasty, to my way of thinking. Though I am glad I had food in my stomach as it, in a fanciful way of describing it, brought to mind having eaten a small woolen object. It itched a bit uncomfortably in the belly. I then laid myself in bed and started reading The Return of the Great Depression. The good thing... I can indeed read and I think I comprehend and remember well. My take on the book so far is good, as well. Enough of it matches up with enough of the little bits I already knew, though that does not mean I am an expert, my memories are correct, or even that the book is right, only that my initial assessment is that this book is correct. Yes, I am tight about giving out anything, especially agreement.
I read, and read, and... well, read. Not a bit of weariness came over me, in spite of having been awake since 8:00 or 10:00 and having taken a serious cocktail of otc sleep aids. I have been told that I may take two valerian root pills, I only took one last night. Though I do not think this will help. I will try anyway, and continue to do so until I run out of "ammunition". One cannot say I have not tried. I made it through three units of the book, or four. I finally just closed the book, shut out the lights, and... laid in bed quietly. Ah, nothing so refreshing as fake sleep. That is what I ALWAYS say. I have no idea when I finally slept, only that it was beginning to be light out, or was light out. Memory during that time in my life is always relatively fuzzy, like Democratic fiscal notions. I did not rise until 13:00 or so.
I need to schedule a delivery for the roofing material, it is in. I also need to pay some bills and pick up Sassy. A shower, a call, a drive, and then... what? I do not know. I just know that not sleeping makes life impossibly complicated. Further, I know after periods of not sleeping, I will hit the opposite. On the good side, even with difficulties, I am much more conscious of what is actually happening than ever before. I am able to at least attempt to solve the micro, however successful the attempts. That means I have steerage through straights I have never even been able to understand before... even if the steerage is currently inadequate. With knowledge and vision comes possibilities.
Well, I best do something other than jabber at you walkies. Ha!
.
The sleep stuff caused not even a slowing of my corporeal juggernaut. Along with the cocktail of tea and melatonin, I added valerian root. I munched it. I had heard it tastes terrible and to have food in my stomach, though perhaps I misheard. It was tasty, to my way of thinking. Though I am glad I had food in my stomach as it, in a fanciful way of describing it, brought to mind having eaten a small woolen object. It itched a bit uncomfortably in the belly. I then laid myself in bed and started reading The Return of the Great Depression. The good thing... I can indeed read and I think I comprehend and remember well. My take on the book so far is good, as well. Enough of it matches up with enough of the little bits I already knew, though that does not mean I am an expert, my memories are correct, or even that the book is right, only that my initial assessment is that this book is correct. Yes, I am tight about giving out anything, especially agreement.
I read, and read, and... well, read. Not a bit of weariness came over me, in spite of having been awake since 8:00 or 10:00 and having taken a serious cocktail of otc sleep aids. I have been told that I may take two valerian root pills, I only took one last night. Though I do not think this will help. I will try anyway, and continue to do so until I run out of "ammunition". One cannot say I have not tried. I made it through three units of the book, or four. I finally just closed the book, shut out the lights, and... laid in bed quietly. Ah, nothing so refreshing as fake sleep. That is what I ALWAYS say. I have no idea when I finally slept, only that it was beginning to be light out, or was light out. Memory during that time in my life is always relatively fuzzy, like Democratic fiscal notions. I did not rise until 13:00 or so.
I need to schedule a delivery for the roofing material, it is in. I also need to pay some bills and pick up Sassy. A shower, a call, a drive, and then... what? I do not know. I just know that not sleeping makes life impossibly complicated. Further, I know after periods of not sleeping, I will hit the opposite. On the good side, even with difficulties, I am much more conscious of what is actually happening than ever before. I am able to at least attempt to solve the micro, however successful the attempts. That means I have steerage through straights I have never even been able to understand before... even if the steerage is currently inadequate. With knowledge and vision comes possibilities.
Well, I best do something other than jabber at you walkies. Ha!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Mind ponderings.
.
.
I was not able to get going well enough to do anything substantive this morning. That I awoke earlier than I have in several weeks, that before that I slept well, I suppose that will have to be it for today. I made it to my appointment on time, actually early enough to fill the tank and wash the Xterra. She, for an SUV, 4x4, and considering my driving, gets excellent mileage... right at 20 mpg at this fill. I did, however, forget to take Sassy in for her surgery tomorrow. So, after the appointment I drove home, caged the little furry fury, and took her in. I still hate that. By the way, I picked up some more stuff for sleep from the doc's office. An herbal or holistic thing of some sort. I will try them in unison tonight.
On to the ponderings.
After all is said and done, and as I sit here and tinker on the machine, I begin to wonder about the safety of Sassy. I realized I had to sign a waiver. I also realize this page is well read if not necessarily liked, even locally. I assume using names of local towns causes this page to pop up in searches. In any case, the locals, and more likely college kids, might have gathered from it who I am. I am most certain I am tracked by others too, a couple of religious groups almost certainly. I cannot tell for what purpose, merely that people seem to recognize me. I am pretty sure I have been read at the V.A., at least by my primary. She knew most of what I was going to tell her before I did. The hand wounds, sure, but the sleep, that I was taking otc sleep meds, and a few other things... she already knew. No, not paranoid, just the facts.
My worry is, college kids being indoctrinated left, sometimes their leftism being required even for acceptance in many fields, I worry that Sassy will not live. That, my friends, is paranoid. Of course, I understand that. However, I do believe most leftists are very capable of doing evil, I believe the young and the "educated" and the young "educated" are profoundly more likely to being leftist. Add in the fact that I have become known to some degree, even to being actually recognized I mean, and there is the potential for real trouble. That is one of mind wanderings... and fear.
The other is not so much a fear as it is a meandering. I have been thinking about a certain younger woman who flashed on my radar recently. One I am considering asking to coffee, about which I have told her the meaning. That meaning is, since I am not dating because I see that as a failed system, I am going to begin asking potential partners out for coffee or tea or something small as the opening of an investigation of who they are and whether I think they will fit and further if pursuing them is of our mutual interest. Having said that, my mind began considering what I would say to her, like to say to her, or actually think about women, wives, and family.
Using her as a backdrop, she actually listening and being open, and it being my turn to speak give or take, I thought about what to say. I know women are interesting to me, if I think they are a little crazy. How do I say that, at least initially, in such a way as to not cause her to react like a cat suddenly in a full bathtub, with cold water to boot? Yes, diplomacy is a must. Women can exhibit a very bent nose approach to direct discussions. Still, my goal is to be rather honest. I will not coddle if too I do not indeed to be or even seem rude. The conversation went on for a bit, I think I scored 7 points, lost 3, and she was neutral on about 5 or 6 others. But the final thing was what I liked.
I discussed the fact that I do drive women crazy. I wish it was always in bed, but that is not the case so much as I would like. Uhrm, will have to consider a diplomatic edit of last sentence. Anyway, going on, as well, I have found women drive me to distraction and often a little beyond. To be truthful, anyone I am around for long will do this, though women seem to be specialists at it, to me. Now, this, for me, is not so much of a problem if I can turn that into a driving force. Which, in my decent history of knowing women as I have, has not been too difficult. In other words, if they live at home, they drive me out more and more. Which, to my way of thinking, is a good thing. I suspect I should bone up my backpacking and camping gear and skills. The question is, what will she do when I make her upset, disagree with her, or simply make a mess of her fine home? Which, uhrm, I do. I think I do that, according to most women I know, simply by breathing from what I have heard. And I LOVE to breath. If she gets down and sad about it, she will be down and sad a lot. If she cries and it hurts currently, I will only add to that. Did I mention I am good at math, sort of? Now, if she can laugh about it, and I mean deep down toss it under the funny bus, she might be the one. She will at least do well.
I used to love to argue with my last lady love. Usually. I thought it was a gas. I might have been all fury and 50 cent words outside, but I was often just rolling with laughter inside. Basically I took none of it personally, at least if it was not supposed to be. Even then, I realize that some women have no clue about what they are saying when they are arguing. Think cats here, cats near water, dogs, fire. So, usually, that was just something else to laugh about and ammunition for additional play (the bonus play button hit by a ball in pinball, yeah, like that). Unfortunately my last love took it all personally. I have since discussed this with her, on her last visit. I suggested she try very hard to just... enjoy the thing, after a "difficult" discussion we had a few hours before the discussion I just mentioned. I said, let it go, even while in the "debate". Especially if it is about something we both are in passionate opposition about to each other's position.
Yep, the point is, if she cries streams, I will cause her to cry rivers and great ones. But if she laughs, she will laugh... till she cries rivers. Men just cannot win with women! What a gas.
I do want to do dishes tonight. I need to clean the cat litter pans as well. And picking up, at least, would be good. I want to try to be to bed early, for another early rise, and a trip to Salt Lake City in an attempt to get my academic files transferred and to obtain proof of disability and try and find out how to apply that to taxes before the end of the month to deal with home and auto. Such a mess, but it must be done, the phone does not get it done, and no one else is exactly asking to step in and help. Help! I will do what I can. I think taking the stuff at 22:00, and then getting right in bed and reading, might be what works. I hate taking stuff though.
Later or good night.
.
I was not able to get going well enough to do anything substantive this morning. That I awoke earlier than I have in several weeks, that before that I slept well, I suppose that will have to be it for today. I made it to my appointment on time, actually early enough to fill the tank and wash the Xterra. She, for an SUV, 4x4, and considering my driving, gets excellent mileage... right at 20 mpg at this fill. I did, however, forget to take Sassy in for her surgery tomorrow. So, after the appointment I drove home, caged the little furry fury, and took her in. I still hate that. By the way, I picked up some more stuff for sleep from the doc's office. An herbal or holistic thing of some sort. I will try them in unison tonight.
On to the ponderings.
After all is said and done, and as I sit here and tinker on the machine, I begin to wonder about the safety of Sassy. I realized I had to sign a waiver. I also realize this page is well read if not necessarily liked, even locally. I assume using names of local towns causes this page to pop up in searches. In any case, the locals, and more likely college kids, might have gathered from it who I am. I am most certain I am tracked by others too, a couple of religious groups almost certainly. I cannot tell for what purpose, merely that people seem to recognize me. I am pretty sure I have been read at the V.A., at least by my primary. She knew most of what I was going to tell her before I did. The hand wounds, sure, but the sleep, that I was taking otc sleep meds, and a few other things... she already knew. No, not paranoid, just the facts.
My worry is, college kids being indoctrinated left, sometimes their leftism being required even for acceptance in many fields, I worry that Sassy will not live. That, my friends, is paranoid. Of course, I understand that. However, I do believe most leftists are very capable of doing evil, I believe the young and the "educated" and the young "educated" are profoundly more likely to being leftist. Add in the fact that I have become known to some degree, even to being actually recognized I mean, and there is the potential for real trouble. That is one of mind wanderings... and fear.
The other is not so much a fear as it is a meandering. I have been thinking about a certain younger woman who flashed on my radar recently. One I am considering asking to coffee, about which I have told her the meaning. That meaning is, since I am not dating because I see that as a failed system, I am going to begin asking potential partners out for coffee or tea or something small as the opening of an investigation of who they are and whether I think they will fit and further if pursuing them is of our mutual interest. Having said that, my mind began considering what I would say to her, like to say to her, or actually think about women, wives, and family.
Using her as a backdrop, she actually listening and being open, and it being my turn to speak give or take, I thought about what to say. I know women are interesting to me, if I think they are a little crazy. How do I say that, at least initially, in such a way as to not cause her to react like a cat suddenly in a full bathtub, with cold water to boot? Yes, diplomacy is a must. Women can exhibit a very bent nose approach to direct discussions. Still, my goal is to be rather honest. I will not coddle if too I do not indeed to be or even seem rude. The conversation went on for a bit, I think I scored 7 points, lost 3, and she was neutral on about 5 or 6 others. But the final thing was what I liked.
I discussed the fact that I do drive women crazy. I wish it was always in bed, but that is not the case so much as I would like. Uhrm, will have to consider a diplomatic edit of last sentence. Anyway, going on, as well, I have found women drive me to distraction and often a little beyond. To be truthful, anyone I am around for long will do this, though women seem to be specialists at it, to me. Now, this, for me, is not so much of a problem if I can turn that into a driving force. Which, in my decent history of knowing women as I have, has not been too difficult. In other words, if they live at home, they drive me out more and more. Which, to my way of thinking, is a good thing. I suspect I should bone up my backpacking and camping gear and skills. The question is, what will she do when I make her upset, disagree with her, or simply make a mess of her fine home? Which, uhrm, I do. I think I do that, according to most women I know, simply by breathing from what I have heard. And I LOVE to breath. If she gets down and sad about it, she will be down and sad a lot. If she cries and it hurts currently, I will only add to that. Did I mention I am good at math, sort of? Now, if she can laugh about it, and I mean deep down toss it under the funny bus, she might be the one. She will at least do well.
I used to love to argue with my last lady love. Usually. I thought it was a gas. I might have been all fury and 50 cent words outside, but I was often just rolling with laughter inside. Basically I took none of it personally, at least if it was not supposed to be. Even then, I realize that some women have no clue about what they are saying when they are arguing. Think cats here, cats near water, dogs, fire. So, usually, that was just something else to laugh about and ammunition for additional play (the bonus play button hit by a ball in pinball, yeah, like that). Unfortunately my last love took it all personally. I have since discussed this with her, on her last visit. I suggested she try very hard to just... enjoy the thing, after a "difficult" discussion we had a few hours before the discussion I just mentioned. I said, let it go, even while in the "debate". Especially if it is about something we both are in passionate opposition about to each other's position.
Yep, the point is, if she cries streams, I will cause her to cry rivers and great ones. But if she laughs, she will laugh... till she cries rivers. Men just cannot win with women! What a gas.
I do want to do dishes tonight. I need to clean the cat litter pans as well. And picking up, at least, would be good. I want to try to be to bed early, for another early rise, and a trip to Salt Lake City in an attempt to get my academic files transferred and to obtain proof of disability and try and find out how to apply that to taxes before the end of the month to deal with home and auto. Such a mess, but it must be done, the phone does not get it done, and no one else is exactly asking to step in and help. Help! I will do what I can. I think taking the stuff at 22:00, and then getting right in bed and reading, might be what works. I hate taking stuff though.
Later or good night.
Sleep!
.
.
Good, long, solid sleep. I think. I went to be at 19:00 or 20:00 and woke at 7:00 or 8:00, all give or take. I must be honest though, I am not sure I am getting REM sleep. I think, part of my problem, is even when I sleep I do not get good sleep. I could see that as being a part of my problem. It would be very much like eating food without any nutrients. It seems to fit the need, I am not hungry, but I would still starve to death. I cannot be sure what the problem is, for sure, other than that it relates to sleep. I have been hooked up to a machine while sleeping, and it did suggest I did reach REM, two different nights. So, maybe not on that idea. Still, sleep is the thing.
I am up and will stay up again. I might even do some work either in the garage or on the roof. I have an appointment this afternoon. I am not used to being up at this time though, so I am a bit out of sorts. Another hour to get my mind wrapped around the world and I will then try to get busy. I must say, sleep is extremely good! I wanted so badly to stay under the covers, reset the alarm, and sleep MORESES, as my kittehs would say (and sort of do say about MILKSES!). But sleep, like food, needs to be moderated (even milkses, kittehs). So, I grabbed the pry-bar of life, and heaved. Now I'm ho'ed? Bah!
I hear that O'Donnell, and other Tea Party candidates, are having problems with the Republican party. While that is no surprise, to a degree, I am surprised in some ways. With that parties insistence on a big tent, it is amazing just how small that tent really is. Or, more, how one sided the direction the expansion of the "big tent" goes. It seems the "big tent" includes everyone BUT conservatives. I am happier, every day, that I left that party. What it does and continues to do makes me more sure every day that being an independent is the only way to go. No, not Independent, as that seems to be a "third party", an independent. Just as I am a conservative libertarian, not a Libertarian.
At this point, I have no choice to vote Republican. At least in Utah, I feel this is not such a sell out, with Bennett sent to retirement and a young gun having been taken off the bench and pitched into the fray. I have been asked if I would rather have a big tent or a minority setting in the House and Senate. The answer is simple, I would rather have a minority. Why on God's green earth, was the next question. Ah, simple. Because the people do not want what is happening. What is happening will continue with a "big tent" situation in the Republican party. However, with a small tent minority, it will be EXPLICITLY CLEAR who is continuing the "business of big government" as usual and who is not, which will offer clarity like nothing else in the NEXT ELECTION. This is a "long run" game, if in truth we are running out of long run. Is this election the last, or is the next election the last, before the die is cast and government begins to control even elections? I do not know. But I know if voters can see no significant difference, they will vote much more weakly. I am all in for O'Donnell and the others. Period.
Brand quality control and differentiation is vital, not for some petty chaos mongers among us real conservatives, but for the survival of the Republic. That is all.
Good day.
.
Good, long, solid sleep. I think. I went to be at 19:00 or 20:00 and woke at 7:00 or 8:00, all give or take. I must be honest though, I am not sure I am getting REM sleep. I think, part of my problem, is even when I sleep I do not get good sleep. I could see that as being a part of my problem. It would be very much like eating food without any nutrients. It seems to fit the need, I am not hungry, but I would still starve to death. I cannot be sure what the problem is, for sure, other than that it relates to sleep. I have been hooked up to a machine while sleeping, and it did suggest I did reach REM, two different nights. So, maybe not on that idea. Still, sleep is the thing.
I am up and will stay up again. I might even do some work either in the garage or on the roof. I have an appointment this afternoon. I am not used to being up at this time though, so I am a bit out of sorts. Another hour to get my mind wrapped around the world and I will then try to get busy. I must say, sleep is extremely good! I wanted so badly to stay under the covers, reset the alarm, and sleep MORESES, as my kittehs would say (and sort of do say about MILKSES!). But sleep, like food, needs to be moderated (even milkses, kittehs). So, I grabbed the pry-bar of life, and heaved. Now I'm ho'ed? Bah!
I hear that O'Donnell, and other Tea Party candidates, are having problems with the Republican party. While that is no surprise, to a degree, I am surprised in some ways. With that parties insistence on a big tent, it is amazing just how small that tent really is. Or, more, how one sided the direction the expansion of the "big tent" goes. It seems the "big tent" includes everyone BUT conservatives. I am happier, every day, that I left that party. What it does and continues to do makes me more sure every day that being an independent is the only way to go. No, not Independent, as that seems to be a "third party", an independent. Just as I am a conservative libertarian, not a Libertarian.
At this point, I have no choice to vote Republican. At least in Utah, I feel this is not such a sell out, with Bennett sent to retirement and a young gun having been taken off the bench and pitched into the fray. I have been asked if I would rather have a big tent or a minority setting in the House and Senate. The answer is simple, I would rather have a minority. Why on God's green earth, was the next question. Ah, simple. Because the people do not want what is happening. What is happening will continue with a "big tent" situation in the Republican party. However, with a small tent minority, it will be EXPLICITLY CLEAR who is continuing the "business of big government" as usual and who is not, which will offer clarity like nothing else in the NEXT ELECTION. This is a "long run" game, if in truth we are running out of long run. Is this election the last, or is the next election the last, before the die is cast and government begins to control even elections? I do not know. But I know if voters can see no significant difference, they will vote much more weakly. I am all in for O'Donnell and the others. Period.
Brand quality control and differentiation is vital, not for some petty chaos mongers among us real conservatives, but for the survival of the Republic. That is all.
Good day.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
A day with the doc.
.
.
I made it without wrecking or doing anything too foolish, I think. For having been awake for two and a half days, or whatever, I am doing splendidly. I did have a few worrisome moments driving in to Logan, nodding just a split second with that feeling of waking and not knowing where I was, then where I was on the road, then regaining composure. Once my friend was in the vehicle, with someone to talk to or at least listen to, the 'events' ended.
I made it to the office just in the nick of time. I had meant to leave Logan at 11:30 but did not end up leaving until slightly after noon. My very bad but so be it. At the office, my blood pressure was abysmal at 186/118 or something. It had been lower. As recently as three weeks ago it was 156/95, or lower. I suppose sleeping problems might truly exacerbate my blood pressure issues. I did not know they would be taking samples, as the card did not suggest that I fast. I had breakfast at about 10:00, or a little earlier. The last of the rice with the last of the milk and a bit of Splenda (which I try to use sparingly). Blood and urine samples were given anyway.
She suggested that I go back on medicine. I explained that this will not work. She said I was tired because of blood pressure and diabetes. I said they must be retro-active because I have been this tired 15 years before I had these illness. She asked that I go back on the diabetes medicine. To the best of my knowledge, these did no harm, so I agreed. Of course, given the condition I am in, how well I will be able to take even these is... dubious in nature. She had read, it seems, about my injuries, to my hands. I asked about treatments for the finger and she said only surgery might help but it might hurt. Apparently she knew of no other treatments and the subjected was abruptly ended. It is pretty much what I expected. She says, of course, that adding Ritalin before these other issues are under control would be malpractice. Or, the V.A. in Iowa, and a private doctor there, were malpracticing. I think not. It does not matter at this point, I will not go back on medicines even if Ritalin were added. I hate it too, if it does lend to better compliance and physical function. It is simply too late and I will not be toyed with.
She also came down on me about not taking the diabetes medicine. I told her, as I blogged here, that I had done everything in my power to get medicines but that nothing ever came. And, yes, I made a follow up call (or three), which I posted here as well. That is on them, period. She suggested I call her case manager, someone new I guess, no longer Michelle (or however she spells it). Yeah, no. I can only handle so much trying. Just like with sex from a woman, I will not beg. I will ask, I will work it a bit, when that fails I will go research something, play a game, I might even pout somewhere out of sight (I will not offer satisfaction). If that continues, I dump the dame. I do not need more broken things in my life. So it is with medicines and the V.A. One request, on follow up, then I am out.
I took my friend to a few of our favorite stores. He looked for reloading supplies while I bit my impulses to buy bitterly, due to my finances. I almost bought two boxes of subsonic .22 ammunition. I went against that, but I did remember to look for something else, a rain poncho. I was surprised at how little they cost. The plastics where $8, the "cloth" were $9 (with tax). I went with a cloth poncho. One more little thing for a, should it be needed, B.O.B. Plus, I satisfied my itch to burn cash I do not really have in a rather economical manner.
I AM tired now. I should be able to sleep pretty soon. I want to try and stay up another hour, perhaps two. I will be setting my alarm for early, say 8:00. I have high hopes to somehow sally forth, not you Sally, in the morning and get some things done in the garage and perhaps in, around, and or on the hen house. Getting to a few bills and trying to get some others on automatic pay would also be favorable. Further, the house is falling down around my ears. I exaggerate but only in ever so a nuanced manner. Hush! *puppy*
Hmm, might not make it two hours, or one. *BAM* Hey, you... Yes, you. Do I have letters imprinted on my forehead? *ugh* Yea, good night.
.
I made it without wrecking or doing anything too foolish, I think. For having been awake for two and a half days, or whatever, I am doing splendidly. I did have a few worrisome moments driving in to Logan, nodding just a split second with that feeling of waking and not knowing where I was, then where I was on the road, then regaining composure. Once my friend was in the vehicle, with someone to talk to or at least listen to, the 'events' ended.
I made it to the office just in the nick of time. I had meant to leave Logan at 11:30 but did not end up leaving until slightly after noon. My very bad but so be it. At the office, my blood pressure was abysmal at 186/118 or something. It had been lower. As recently as three weeks ago it was 156/95, or lower. I suppose sleeping problems might truly exacerbate my blood pressure issues. I did not know they would be taking samples, as the card did not suggest that I fast. I had breakfast at about 10:00, or a little earlier. The last of the rice with the last of the milk and a bit of Splenda (which I try to use sparingly). Blood and urine samples were given anyway.
She suggested that I go back on medicine. I explained that this will not work. She said I was tired because of blood pressure and diabetes. I said they must be retro-active because I have been this tired 15 years before I had these illness. She asked that I go back on the diabetes medicine. To the best of my knowledge, these did no harm, so I agreed. Of course, given the condition I am in, how well I will be able to take even these is... dubious in nature. She had read, it seems, about my injuries, to my hands. I asked about treatments for the finger and she said only surgery might help but it might hurt. Apparently she knew of no other treatments and the subjected was abruptly ended. It is pretty much what I expected. She says, of course, that adding Ritalin before these other issues are under control would be malpractice. Or, the V.A. in Iowa, and a private doctor there, were malpracticing. I think not. It does not matter at this point, I will not go back on medicines even if Ritalin were added. I hate it too, if it does lend to better compliance and physical function. It is simply too late and I will not be toyed with.
She also came down on me about not taking the diabetes medicine. I told her, as I blogged here, that I had done everything in my power to get medicines but that nothing ever came. And, yes, I made a follow up call (or three), which I posted here as well. That is on them, period. She suggested I call her case manager, someone new I guess, no longer Michelle (or however she spells it). Yeah, no. I can only handle so much trying. Just like with sex from a woman, I will not beg. I will ask, I will work it a bit, when that fails I will go research something, play a game, I might even pout somewhere out of sight (I will not offer satisfaction). If that continues, I dump the dame. I do not need more broken things in my life. So it is with medicines and the V.A. One request, on follow up, then I am out.
I took my friend to a few of our favorite stores. He looked for reloading supplies while I bit my impulses to buy bitterly, due to my finances. I almost bought two boxes of subsonic .22 ammunition. I went against that, but I did remember to look for something else, a rain poncho. I was surprised at how little they cost. The plastics where $8, the "cloth" were $9 (with tax). I went with a cloth poncho. One more little thing for a, should it be needed, B.O.B. Plus, I satisfied my itch to burn cash I do not really have in a rather economical manner.
I AM tired now. I should be able to sleep pretty soon. I want to try and stay up another hour, perhaps two. I will be setting my alarm for early, say 8:00. I have high hopes to somehow sally forth, not you Sally, in the morning and get some things done in the garage and perhaps in, around, and or on the hen house. Getting to a few bills and trying to get some others on automatic pay would also be favorable. Further, the house is falling down around my ears. I exaggerate but only in ever so a nuanced manner. Hush! *puppy*
Hmm, might not make it two hours, or one. *BAM* Hey, you... Yes, you. Do I have letters imprinted on my forehead? *ugh* Yea, good night.
Definitely staying up too long.
.
.
My days are shifting, at this point, because my "days" are stretching. I am staying up longer. It has been 48 hours since I really slept. Though I napped yesterday morning I was conscious of my surroundings at some level. I have a full day ahead of me, though even without it I am not sure I could sleep. When I am in bed I want to be up, when I am up I want to be in bed. I had high hopes for the sleep gunk. Well, okay, I did not at first. But when I took them and could feel the pull to sleep I thought the treatment would work.
That is why I cannot concentrate. That is why I am losing track of tasks, work, and business. I am simply being stretched too thin. While it is good to know, and though I am settled and trying to figure a way around it, I am not sure how much knowing what the problem is actually is helping to solve the problem, at least so far.
Something I have realized about my moments of confusion though, long as they can be at times, is that I am actually "present" in each moment. My problem comes when I try to put the moments together. Memories, like an album of pictures in order by the time they were taken, keeps everything in life ordered. What happens when the pictures are removed and scattered is what happens when I get like this. I always wondered why no one seemed to notice that I was having problems. I also wondered how I was able to be high-functioning, though that is still a bit of a mystery. How can I do calculus, physics, or have deep discussions without actually being able to remember more the a few seconds to minutes at a time? Well, that is the most recent theory about some of what is wrong. It all, I think, relates to sleep, the lack of it or the inability to stay awake, and the exhaustion that comes from it. I think.
In times like these I walk a tight-rope in life. It is not as serious as it can be and has been. Two days without sleep is chump change compared to seven days awake. Then again I am 25 years older than I was at that time, more than double my then age. And, yes, age has a way of absolutely knocking the snot out of a guy. I do feel cheated. They say time flies as you get older. It flies faster yet if you only remember 1/3 of even your waking moments. Still, it has been a good life, once I realized things are what they are and backed off a bit. Uhrm, I think? Heh.
I think I will meander the webizens, news sites, and goof. My friend will be calling in just a short bit to make sure I am awake. I want to be leaving Logan by 11:30 as well, so leaving here in 2 hours, which means a shower, grooming, and dressing by 10:30. Give or take.
Have a good day. I hope you remember it.
.
My days are shifting, at this point, because my "days" are stretching. I am staying up longer. It has been 48 hours since I really slept. Though I napped yesterday morning I was conscious of my surroundings at some level. I have a full day ahead of me, though even without it I am not sure I could sleep. When I am in bed I want to be up, when I am up I want to be in bed. I had high hopes for the sleep gunk. Well, okay, I did not at first. But when I took them and could feel the pull to sleep I thought the treatment would work.
That is why I cannot concentrate. That is why I am losing track of tasks, work, and business. I am simply being stretched too thin. While it is good to know, and though I am settled and trying to figure a way around it, I am not sure how much knowing what the problem is actually is helping to solve the problem, at least so far.
Something I have realized about my moments of confusion though, long as they can be at times, is that I am actually "present" in each moment. My problem comes when I try to put the moments together. Memories, like an album of pictures in order by the time they were taken, keeps everything in life ordered. What happens when the pictures are removed and scattered is what happens when I get like this. I always wondered why no one seemed to notice that I was having problems. I also wondered how I was able to be high-functioning, though that is still a bit of a mystery. How can I do calculus, physics, or have deep discussions without actually being able to remember more the a few seconds to minutes at a time? Well, that is the most recent theory about some of what is wrong. It all, I think, relates to sleep, the lack of it or the inability to stay awake, and the exhaustion that comes from it. I think.
In times like these I walk a tight-rope in life. It is not as serious as it can be and has been. Two days without sleep is chump change compared to seven days awake. Then again I am 25 years older than I was at that time, more than double my then age. And, yes, age has a way of absolutely knocking the snot out of a guy. I do feel cheated. They say time flies as you get older. It flies faster yet if you only remember 1/3 of even your waking moments. Still, it has been a good life, once I realized things are what they are and backed off a bit. Uhrm, I think? Heh.
I think I will meander the webizens, news sites, and goof. My friend will be calling in just a short bit to make sure I am awake. I want to be leaving Logan by 11:30 as well, so leaving here in 2 hours, which means a shower, grooming, and dressing by 10:30. Give or take.
Have a good day. I hope you remember it.
Tea and droppings.
.
.
I made the tea and added a dropper full of melatonin in it (after cooling the tea with ice... first, I hate hot drinks and secondly I was not sure if heat would neuter the affects of the "additive"). It seems to be working, so I am going to try to sleep. Oh, I hope this works and does not leave me too groggy to wake.
Good night Heidi. By the way, I like that name, interesting spelling too.
Update: No luck, no dice, and here I sit at nearly 5:00. It did cause me to be sleepy. At which point I convened to my sleeping quarters and got comfy. Then I waited, and waited, and... gave up. I still have to be up early tomorrow. It will be a tough one. Oh well. I will try one more night, then get that other stuff.
.
I made the tea and added a dropper full of melatonin in it (after cooling the tea with ice... first, I hate hot drinks and secondly I was not sure if heat would neuter the affects of the "additive"). It seems to be working, so I am going to try to sleep. Oh, I hope this works and does not leave me too groggy to wake.
Good night Heidi. By the way, I like that name, interesting spelling too.
Update: No luck, no dice, and here I sit at nearly 5:00. It did cause me to be sleepy. At which point I convened to my sleeping quarters and got comfy. Then I waited, and waited, and... gave up. I still have to be up early tomorrow. It will be a tough one. Oh well. I will try one more night, then get that other stuff.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The Armies of Sauron and Saruman...
.
.
...ride to their defeat. That is, the DNC and RNC and their picks are falling like flies. In some of the most hotly contested "Republican" primary processes, liberal conservatives are being shown the door. I think it started with Bennett here in Utah. If not the first, he was among the first of Sarumon's legions to fall. He has not been the last. Even the DNC is having troubles. Greene's nomination is the funniest of those. It is about time.
I had thought Libertarians might be the grassroots mechanism which would turn the Republican party on it's head. As it turns out, that party is too split between the truly libertine and the positive libertarian aspects to capture the imagination and interest of the American public. It was the same with me. There are libertarians with whom I share a great deal of commonality, there were too many with whom I shared nothing except political ill will. The Tea Party, however, filled the much needed role of undermining the Goliath monster known as establishment politics.
It has only been here and there. When their (our) pick is not chosen, the remaining candidate begins to understand the ire. All of them will be checking their principles and votes very carefully. The political guillotine Americans were given has been pulled out, sharpened, and used. The revolution is far from over. Those not up for election are hoping, now that surety has faded, that the war on politics as "we know it" will fade before they too face the fate so many of their dearly beloved fellow criminals of conscience now face. I think they hope fruitlessly.
This is not enough to save America, not everything and in all ways. We are headed for a crash. Who is in the drivers seat will only determine what we do, perhaps, when the total impact is felt. And, even if we win both both the House (probably to my mind) and the Senate (doubtful but possible in my opinion), conservatives will only hold a portion of a portion of the controls. Even if conservatives COULD do something, we still do not have enough of the steering to really do more than slow the "progress" progressives have made. No, we are, like terrorism, in it for the long haul. But it is a serious start. Can Americans stay awake and wary that long? To be honest, I am surprised they have stayed involved this long. Then again, a hungry belly and few prospects to ameliorate that situation nicely tends to keep people focused.
As much as I despise, truly hate, what we are about to go through financially I cannot but think that the event is a Godsend. I could even go so far as to hope that I-Pods, smart phones, and other such useless bling will become beyond the means of the common man. Imagine a world in which *gasp* people will have to be face to face to speak! Imagine not having people texting instead of simply talking to the person right beside them! Imagine people driving instead of texting or talking on the phone! Imagine mothers having time for their children since their is nothing else to do, fathers having time for their wives and children, and people not being so distracted by calls that they cannot do anything deeply for fear of interruption! Imagine John Lennon being shot by one of his own fans! Oh, right. Anyway. Odd that Lennon, like his virtual namesake, bringing about the reverse of everything they have worked for by getting done what they had hoped for... change. Yes, I do love to play with names, faces, places, ideas, in a mix and match way, sue me.
I was just thinking...
Oh, something I noticed recently, with eggs, is that I cannot peel them. I am an expert on eggs, simple as they are. Boiling them to a perfect (to my tastes) doneness, peeling them, and I have even learned to store them cooked and peeled for a very long time. However, the last two batches of eggs I have worked with ended up in the trash. Peeling them, and I tried several different ways, was impossible. I tried them hot and cold. I tried this old trick and that. They were impossible to peel and preserve enough egg to be worth the effort. Ah, I think, the recent egg recall has forced sellers to pasteurize the product. I think, really, that IS the problem. Once the skin under the shell becomes "cooked", or the water escapes it, or something, the moisture under the skin between it and the white is gone and this makes peeling impossible. I may have to try to find a brand of egg that does not pasteurize their eggs or just give up on them. I will bet that is our government doing something for a political reason. A man, men, or industry was targeted. There are no health problems from properly cooked unpasteurized eggs. Then again, it might be a favor to the health nuts who eat raw eggs or something? One more reason to end government as we know it!
On another food, albeit not government (sort of), topic... beans. I have been eating a LOT of beans. And while I love the little bits of mush in a skin, I must admit, it will be tough to live on these. Spice them as you may, mix in your rice, you will be full... and terribly bored. The only spice that really helps beans, unless you are a foodphile, is heat. Oh, sure, fresh spice in a bit of beans and rice can add that little something as a taste treat now and then. But in the long haul not so much. What DOES add to beans will not be all that available, that is meat. At least to my mind. And better, and more rare, meats with a healthy portion of fat. Ham, boys and girls, is a beans best friend. Rich (80% meat beef, perhaps even "richer") is good as well. Chicken? Tuna? Rabbit? No, not so much. In the end those taste like stringy beans rather than what they are.
It will be tough eating just beans, even adding in canned tuna, fresh fowl, or cuniculus (not in beans even), fresh fish, and most other easily available meats will add little in the way of fat. Trust me, you WILL miss fats. I have it from a man who grew up in the Great Depression that, as a treat, kids were offered (rarely, because of scarcity and poverty) fresh baked bread (they had no other) dipped in lard and covered with sugar. Lard, even sugar coated, is, well, lard. Imagine calling that a treat?
Still, my system is getting used to lots of beans, plenty of rice and other grains, and a more humble taste. I am still stuck on beef, pork, and other possibly soon to be gone meats. I will stay that way as long as I can, too. And I will add in other meats to my more humble diet before too long, the "skinny" meats like rabbit and chicken. I will be ahead in this way as in others. And, to some degree, I will know more surely what I have lost and will lament it the more? Who knows, but I think so. It will hurt when beef becomes a once or twice a year thing, offered as a community wide meal. It really could happen. Look to the real fall of Rome to understand. Realize how problematic our currency has become and the costs of using another currency (with it's own problems), throw in the fragility of electricity production and distribution, and how evil and stupid people can be, and the possibility is there. With the financial situation, it is more a probability, some say a forgone conclusion. *you, in the corner, babbling about off-grid, a screwy wife, and plants* Heh.
Bah, I am blathering now... again... Again, sue me.
.
...ride to their defeat. That is, the DNC and RNC and their picks are falling like flies. In some of the most hotly contested "Republican" primary processes, liberal conservatives are being shown the door. I think it started with Bennett here in Utah. If not the first, he was among the first of Sarumon's legions to fall. He has not been the last. Even the DNC is having troubles. Greene's nomination is the funniest of those. It is about time.
I had thought Libertarians might be the grassroots mechanism which would turn the Republican party on it's head. As it turns out, that party is too split between the truly libertine and the positive libertarian aspects to capture the imagination and interest of the American public. It was the same with me. There are libertarians with whom I share a great deal of commonality, there were too many with whom I shared nothing except political ill will. The Tea Party, however, filled the much needed role of undermining the Goliath monster known as establishment politics.
It has only been here and there. When their (our) pick is not chosen, the remaining candidate begins to understand the ire. All of them will be checking their principles and votes very carefully. The political guillotine Americans were given has been pulled out, sharpened, and used. The revolution is far from over. Those not up for election are hoping, now that surety has faded, that the war on politics as "we know it" will fade before they too face the fate so many of their dearly beloved fellow criminals of conscience now face. I think they hope fruitlessly.
This is not enough to save America, not everything and in all ways. We are headed for a crash. Who is in the drivers seat will only determine what we do, perhaps, when the total impact is felt. And, even if we win both both the House (probably to my mind) and the Senate (doubtful but possible in my opinion), conservatives will only hold a portion of a portion of the controls. Even if conservatives COULD do something, we still do not have enough of the steering to really do more than slow the "progress" progressives have made. No, we are, like terrorism, in it for the long haul. But it is a serious start. Can Americans stay awake and wary that long? To be honest, I am surprised they have stayed involved this long. Then again, a hungry belly and few prospects to ameliorate that situation nicely tends to keep people focused.
As much as I despise, truly hate, what we are about to go through financially I cannot but think that the event is a Godsend. I could even go so far as to hope that I-Pods, smart phones, and other such useless bling will become beyond the means of the common man. Imagine a world in which *gasp* people will have to be face to face to speak! Imagine not having people texting instead of simply talking to the person right beside them! Imagine people driving instead of texting or talking on the phone! Imagine mothers having time for their children since their is nothing else to do, fathers having time for their wives and children, and people not being so distracted by calls that they cannot do anything deeply for fear of interruption! Imagine John Lennon being shot by one of his own fans! Oh, right. Anyway. Odd that Lennon, like his virtual namesake, bringing about the reverse of everything they have worked for by getting done what they had hoped for... change. Yes, I do love to play with names, faces, places, ideas, in a mix and match way, sue me.
I was just thinking...
Oh, something I noticed recently, with eggs, is that I cannot peel them. I am an expert on eggs, simple as they are. Boiling them to a perfect (to my tastes) doneness, peeling them, and I have even learned to store them cooked and peeled for a very long time. However, the last two batches of eggs I have worked with ended up in the trash. Peeling them, and I tried several different ways, was impossible. I tried them hot and cold. I tried this old trick and that. They were impossible to peel and preserve enough egg to be worth the effort. Ah, I think, the recent egg recall has forced sellers to pasteurize the product. I think, really, that IS the problem. Once the skin under the shell becomes "cooked", or the water escapes it, or something, the moisture under the skin between it and the white is gone and this makes peeling impossible. I may have to try to find a brand of egg that does not pasteurize their eggs or just give up on them. I will bet that is our government doing something for a political reason. A man, men, or industry was targeted. There are no health problems from properly cooked unpasteurized eggs. Then again, it might be a favor to the health nuts who eat raw eggs or something? One more reason to end government as we know it!
On another food, albeit not government (sort of), topic... beans. I have been eating a LOT of beans. And while I love the little bits of mush in a skin, I must admit, it will be tough to live on these. Spice them as you may, mix in your rice, you will be full... and terribly bored. The only spice that really helps beans, unless you are a foodphile, is heat. Oh, sure, fresh spice in a bit of beans and rice can add that little something as a taste treat now and then. But in the long haul not so much. What DOES add to beans will not be all that available, that is meat. At least to my mind. And better, and more rare, meats with a healthy portion of fat. Ham, boys and girls, is a beans best friend. Rich (80% meat beef, perhaps even "richer") is good as well. Chicken? Tuna? Rabbit? No, not so much. In the end those taste like stringy beans rather than what they are.
It will be tough eating just beans, even adding in canned tuna, fresh fowl, or cuniculus (not in beans even), fresh fish, and most other easily available meats will add little in the way of fat. Trust me, you WILL miss fats. I have it from a man who grew up in the Great Depression that, as a treat, kids were offered (rarely, because of scarcity and poverty) fresh baked bread (they had no other) dipped in lard and covered with sugar. Lard, even sugar coated, is, well, lard. Imagine calling that a treat?
Still, my system is getting used to lots of beans, plenty of rice and other grains, and a more humble taste. I am still stuck on beef, pork, and other possibly soon to be gone meats. I will stay that way as long as I can, too. And I will add in other meats to my more humble diet before too long, the "skinny" meats like rabbit and chicken. I will be ahead in this way as in others. And, to some degree, I will know more surely what I have lost and will lament it the more? Who knows, but I think so. It will hurt when beef becomes a once or twice a year thing, offered as a community wide meal. It really could happen. Look to the real fall of Rome to understand. Realize how problematic our currency has become and the costs of using another currency (with it's own problems), throw in the fragility of electricity production and distribution, and how evil and stupid people can be, and the possibility is there. With the financial situation, it is more a probability, some say a forgone conclusion. *you, in the corner, babbling about off-grid, a screwy wife, and plants* Heh.
Bah, I am blathering now... again... Again, sue me.
Sassy receives a reprieve.
.
.
The reprieve is shortlived, however. The place where she is to have surgery called everyone but me. They have moved the surgery to Friday. So, I had to drive to Logan, and drive back, as there was no place other than her cage for her to be while I shopped and did other things. I am angry about it but there is nothing to be done about it.
I picked up my friend and went shopping. If nothing else, he got out of his apartment and did not have to bike places. I grabbed two large bags of cat litter, three bags of different cat foods, and clippers for my beard. If I am going to grow a beard, I need something more than a cheapo battery operated device. I did not go expensive or cheap, and looked for certain features and functions. We will see. Restaurant dining is out for this month, though McDonald makes a meal within the budget of one of my bigger meals. So to that place we went. Unsweetened tea is not great but it works. And, I did stop at the place which might have the tea and melatonin. They had it, and at a price which was well within reason. I picked up enough for nearly a month for less than $10 all totaled I believe, and a bag of millet to try out. I also checked on the price of their millet. Though it is organic, which is something I generally avoid, the price is within my constraints. For 25#, it is 95 cents a pound (plus 10% off for buying in bulk). Oddly, for 50# it is 99 cents a pound. How odd.
If I like the millet, I will begin ordering that soon. I have enough of everything but buckets to store a goodly lot of the stuff too. I suspect, when my finances stabilize, I will begin buying 50 pounds of millet and beans a month for a bit, adding in the other stuff as my finances warrant or in some sort of offset way. I will be making a buying plan shortly. Yeah, I know. It takes for...ev...er. And, it really does. That is why if you are going to start prepping it is best to start now.
An old friend finally emailed, after I sent him another another email. His life, too, has changed. No longer in academia, but with his masters in physics, he is not sure where to go. I cannot say he is a better systems operator than he is a physicist, though I might argue it, I will say he is a terrific computer guy. Let us just say that if he did not like you he could cause you tons of problems. Your machine, your networks, your internet server. Let us just hope he is on the good side. He is back home and just as miserable there. His luck with the ladies is as mine was, though I do not think he has... sampled as many roses. (Albeit, I think that is good.) I am considering having him investigate Utah. It is one state with low unemployment, a solid business setting, and a growing entrepreneurial opportunity. As he has said, he has more of a degree than he needs for jobs he does not want and too slim an education in what he actually does do (and loves). This setting would be perfect for him, I think. Here, much of what he wants to get into would be offering opportunities at the ground floor for people who can, not so much to people with degrees, if he would initially earn less. I would offer him a place to begin looking if he wanted it. I would not do that for many. This young man has serious potential. AND, he loves scotch. I do think of him as a little brother, one who has strayed from his Catholic roots (though given born-Catholic ways and the recent decay in the Church... well, there is hope for even that).
I best get to tearing off the old roof. But I have an appointment tomorrow in Ogden and another Friday in Salt Lake City. I could work on it tomorrow, weather permitting. It has been storming off and on all day today, with plenty of lightning as well. We will see. I am excited about the prospect of working again, with tools, hands, and mind. There is nothing like doing a job and knowing, finally, what that is all about. Roofing, me, ha! I never would have thunk it.
At about 22:00 I will use the consumables in an attempt to sleep. I hate taking stuff but I need to get to sleep before 4:00 or 6:00 in the morning. Nothing I have tried has even come close to helping. I cannot seem to kick over a new day, and when that has happened, it has not helped.
So much is happening but too, so much needs done, and here I sit frozen and such. It takes me so long, more so recently, to simply do the things that might help. And yet I am getting to them. I am doing little things as I may. I guess that will have to be as it is.
Good day.
.
The reprieve is shortlived, however. The place where she is to have surgery called everyone but me. They have moved the surgery to Friday. So, I had to drive to Logan, and drive back, as there was no place other than her cage for her to be while I shopped and did other things. I am angry about it but there is nothing to be done about it.
I picked up my friend and went shopping. If nothing else, he got out of his apartment and did not have to bike places. I grabbed two large bags of cat litter, three bags of different cat foods, and clippers for my beard. If I am going to grow a beard, I need something more than a cheapo battery operated device. I did not go expensive or cheap, and looked for certain features and functions. We will see. Restaurant dining is out for this month, though McDonald makes a meal within the budget of one of my bigger meals. So to that place we went. Unsweetened tea is not great but it works. And, I did stop at the place which might have the tea and melatonin. They had it, and at a price which was well within reason. I picked up enough for nearly a month for less than $10 all totaled I believe, and a bag of millet to try out. I also checked on the price of their millet. Though it is organic, which is something I generally avoid, the price is within my constraints. For 25#, it is 95 cents a pound (plus 10% off for buying in bulk). Oddly, for 50# it is 99 cents a pound. How odd.
If I like the millet, I will begin ordering that soon. I have enough of everything but buckets to store a goodly lot of the stuff too. I suspect, when my finances stabilize, I will begin buying 50 pounds of millet and beans a month for a bit, adding in the other stuff as my finances warrant or in some sort of offset way. I will be making a buying plan shortly. Yeah, I know. It takes for...ev...er. And, it really does. That is why if you are going to start prepping it is best to start now.
An old friend finally emailed, after I sent him another another email. His life, too, has changed. No longer in academia, but with his masters in physics, he is not sure where to go. I cannot say he is a better systems operator than he is a physicist, though I might argue it, I will say he is a terrific computer guy. Let us just say that if he did not like you he could cause you tons of problems. Your machine, your networks, your internet server. Let us just hope he is on the good side. He is back home and just as miserable there. His luck with the ladies is as mine was, though I do not think he has... sampled as many roses. (Albeit, I think that is good.) I am considering having him investigate Utah. It is one state with low unemployment, a solid business setting, and a growing entrepreneurial opportunity. As he has said, he has more of a degree than he needs for jobs he does not want and too slim an education in what he actually does do (and loves). This setting would be perfect for him, I think. Here, much of what he wants to get into would be offering opportunities at the ground floor for people who can, not so much to people with degrees, if he would initially earn less. I would offer him a place to begin looking if he wanted it. I would not do that for many. This young man has serious potential. AND, he loves scotch. I do think of him as a little brother, one who has strayed from his Catholic roots (though given born-Catholic ways and the recent decay in the Church... well, there is hope for even that).
I best get to tearing off the old roof. But I have an appointment tomorrow in Ogden and another Friday in Salt Lake City. I could work on it tomorrow, weather permitting. It has been storming off and on all day today, with plenty of lightning as well. We will see. I am excited about the prospect of working again, with tools, hands, and mind. There is nothing like doing a job and knowing, finally, what that is all about. Roofing, me, ha! I never would have thunk it.
At about 22:00 I will use the consumables in an attempt to sleep. I hate taking stuff but I need to get to sleep before 4:00 or 6:00 in the morning. Nothing I have tried has even come close to helping. I cannot seem to kick over a new day, and when that has happened, it has not helped.
So much is happening but too, so much needs done, and here I sit frozen and such. It takes me so long, more so recently, to simply do the things that might help. And yet I am getting to them. I am doing little things as I may. I guess that will have to be as it is.
Good day.
Monday, September 13, 2010
It is not just sleep.
.
.
I did make it to town for both of my appointments today. The haircut, I think, was fantastic and the price was right. The beard did cover much better than was expected. I actually have at least 90% color, and I would guess even more. However, I will wait and see after a few showers whether that holds. My beard consists of course hairs which, it was impressed on me, do not take dying as well as fine hairs. After making my appointments, I drove to my friends apartment and knocked. No one was home. I had forgotten my cell phone and was running too late to have called him before I left. I had meant to stop and get the tea and melatonin. It completely slipped my mind.
My problem is going beyond sleep cycle changes. I am without good direction, concentration, or willpower. I did wake up at 11:00 after not being able to get to bed until 7:00 and then only being able to rest until 9:00. Go figure. I am just a bit off. I think the financial restrictions I am under are part of the problem, that along with a slew of work and tasks which I am 'holding my breath' on and having to just hope I can figure out, somehow. Beyond those, I think as fall approaches, the sun shines fewer hours, and the world settles in for the next seasons, I prepare for near hibernation. I swear, with my capacity for handling cold, fall and winter reactions, and feral nature when prodded or poked, I must be related to bears somehow. Uhm, hungry now too. Bahrrrhrhrhrr? Yeah.
Sassy does not like the smell of my beard, at the moment. I might shower again today just to try and rid some of that. She looks for teats in there, which I have assured here do not exist to no avail. She also, usually, likes to cuddle with it, even as short as it currently is. She is starting to act funky, staying in the windows ledges, and when she is running around she is 'burrrring' a lot. I think it is a good thing she is set to be fixed soon. Oh, yes I am. I am not quite prepared to be a grandpa... I am, after all, her pop-o.
Hmm, I may simply have to try and call my friend tonight and go in tomorrow. While in town, I need to get cat litter and those sleep aids. We will see though. At least my friend is pretty easy going on time and the place should be open until at least 18:00. One more trip. Yes, I am worrying about gas money. Oh, I have ways and means left to me still, it is just a matter of keeping finances clean from month to month, at least. I need to start packing a few ducks away for rainy days now that I have what I need and want for now, mostly.
Have a good day. May you receive and give one genuine smile, laugh, and warm fuzzy today. If that is difficult, just remember, if you cannot laugh at yourself...
pick someone else. And, Darwin Awards do not always have to be fatal.
.
I did make it to town for both of my appointments today. The haircut, I think, was fantastic and the price was right. The beard did cover much better than was expected. I actually have at least 90% color, and I would guess even more. However, I will wait and see after a few showers whether that holds. My beard consists of course hairs which, it was impressed on me, do not take dying as well as fine hairs. After making my appointments, I drove to my friends apartment and knocked. No one was home. I had forgotten my cell phone and was running too late to have called him before I left. I had meant to stop and get the tea and melatonin. It completely slipped my mind.
My problem is going beyond sleep cycle changes. I am without good direction, concentration, or willpower. I did wake up at 11:00 after not being able to get to bed until 7:00 and then only being able to rest until 9:00. Go figure. I am just a bit off. I think the financial restrictions I am under are part of the problem, that along with a slew of work and tasks which I am 'holding my breath' on and having to just hope I can figure out, somehow. Beyond those, I think as fall approaches, the sun shines fewer hours, and the world settles in for the next seasons, I prepare for near hibernation. I swear, with my capacity for handling cold, fall and winter reactions, and feral nature when prodded or poked, I must be related to bears somehow. Uhm, hungry now too. Bahrrrhrhrhrr? Yeah.
Sassy does not like the smell of my beard, at the moment. I might shower again today just to try and rid some of that. She looks for teats in there, which I have assured here do not exist to no avail. She also, usually, likes to cuddle with it, even as short as it currently is. She is starting to act funky, staying in the windows ledges, and when she is running around she is 'burrrring' a lot. I think it is a good thing she is set to be fixed soon. Oh, yes I am. I am not quite prepared to be a grandpa... I am, after all, her pop-o.
Hmm, I may simply have to try and call my friend tonight and go in tomorrow. While in town, I need to get cat litter and those sleep aids. We will see though. At least my friend is pretty easy going on time and the place should be open until at least 18:00. One more trip. Yes, I am worrying about gas money. Oh, I have ways and means left to me still, it is just a matter of keeping finances clean from month to month, at least. I need to start packing a few ducks away for rainy days now that I have what I need and want for now, mostly.
Have a good day. May you receive and give one genuine smile, laugh, and warm fuzzy today. If that is difficult, just remember, if you cannot laugh at yourself...
pick someone else. And, Darwin Awards do not always have to be fatal.
Some things, some not.
.
.
I have finally located Vox's book and one of my knot tying manuals. However, I found the wrong manual. So, back to looking. It is odd that such a simple task could take so long. I have yet to get to work cleaning. Dishes set, the floor still needs swept and mopped, and the vacuum cleaner glares at me when I happen to notice. I will probably get some of that done yet tonight, maybe all of it.
Sleep and wakefulness continue to plague me. I am, as I said, staying up a good 14 to 18 hours per day, it is just that my day has slid. I think it has been through staying up longer rather than sleeping longer, which is also a good thing. I might start tracking my sleep and waking time to be sure, though I am pretty sure that is the case. Doctors have suggested that before, though back then I had no capacity to do so. I would go through periods where, if I would wake up for spells, I was never fully awake. Days, weeks, months, and at times longer periods of time drifted into one long nothingness. I am doing better.
I watched the Return of the King tonight. Watching it this time, I realized some things. When the hobbits, the ones which were a part of the fellowship, returned home, they were alone together in a sea of people who had no idea and who wanted no part of knowing. Every veteran who has risked life and limb knows this. Some, like Frodo, bear scars for life. The others carry with them memories of the reality of things. None of them would wish to give what they have received in knowledge to their nominal fellow hobbits. And yet, what to do with what they have, what they know, who they have become, and what they have learned about the rest of the world. What has been unpacked for them of the world cannot go back into the box from whence it came. That is a dilemma all who venture forth must face. I hope to follow Samwise's path, as I may. A little late, some might say. Knowing what I do, it is never too late.
Yes, for whatever reason I bear terrible scars. I have, over the years, learned to minimize those scars, with the help of psychiatry and a lot of soul searching. I have, for the most part, put away my weapons. Oddly, it is easier to do that bearing weapons... and choosing to live in peaceably armed country with fellow free men. I have worried that the content of who I am might 'contaminate' my children. That I might be too harsh, perhaps even for a woman, a wife. I think, now, at this time, that I can be strong enough for my understandings and gentle enough to flavor any fruit and woman with a kindness and direction which would be healthy. It is, if strange, my 'pets' who tell me this. And you thought felines could not talk!
I best get to things. I would like to finish a few things up and try to be to bed before too long. Wish me luck?
Good night, Angela. You are a twit, but a cute one. :p
Update: Bah! I looked everywhere I could think for the knot tying book. It must be in one of the incidental boxes or in a box not with the main group. I did find other things, books and a few pieces of kit, but not the one I was looking for. I ended up doing nothing but looking. Oh well. And it, again, is very late. Fluff and spatz.
.
I have finally located Vox's book and one of my knot tying manuals. However, I found the wrong manual. So, back to looking. It is odd that such a simple task could take so long. I have yet to get to work cleaning. Dishes set, the floor still needs swept and mopped, and the vacuum cleaner glares at me when I happen to notice. I will probably get some of that done yet tonight, maybe all of it.
Sleep and wakefulness continue to plague me. I am, as I said, staying up a good 14 to 18 hours per day, it is just that my day has slid. I think it has been through staying up longer rather than sleeping longer, which is also a good thing. I might start tracking my sleep and waking time to be sure, though I am pretty sure that is the case. Doctors have suggested that before, though back then I had no capacity to do so. I would go through periods where, if I would wake up for spells, I was never fully awake. Days, weeks, months, and at times longer periods of time drifted into one long nothingness. I am doing better.
I watched the Return of the King tonight. Watching it this time, I realized some things. When the hobbits, the ones which were a part of the fellowship, returned home, they were alone together in a sea of people who had no idea and who wanted no part of knowing. Every veteran who has risked life and limb knows this. Some, like Frodo, bear scars for life. The others carry with them memories of the reality of things. None of them would wish to give what they have received in knowledge to their nominal fellow hobbits. And yet, what to do with what they have, what they know, who they have become, and what they have learned about the rest of the world. What has been unpacked for them of the world cannot go back into the box from whence it came. That is a dilemma all who venture forth must face. I hope to follow Samwise's path, as I may. A little late, some might say. Knowing what I do, it is never too late.
Yes, for whatever reason I bear terrible scars. I have, over the years, learned to minimize those scars, with the help of psychiatry and a lot of soul searching. I have, for the most part, put away my weapons. Oddly, it is easier to do that bearing weapons... and choosing to live in peaceably armed country with fellow free men. I have worried that the content of who I am might 'contaminate' my children. That I might be too harsh, perhaps even for a woman, a wife. I think, now, at this time, that I can be strong enough for my understandings and gentle enough to flavor any fruit and woman with a kindness and direction which would be healthy. It is, if strange, my 'pets' who tell me this. And you thought felines could not talk!
I best get to things. I would like to finish a few things up and try to be to bed before too long. Wish me luck?
Good night, Angela. You are a twit, but a cute one. :p
Update: Bah! I looked everywhere I could think for the knot tying book. It must be in one of the incidental boxes or in a box not with the main group. I did find other things, books and a few pieces of kit, but not the one I was looking for. I ended up doing nothing but looking. Oh well. And it, again, is very late. Fluff and spatz.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Sleeping oddities continue.
.
.
I do not think the place that would have the items I am looking for as sleep remedies is open on Sundays, in spite of it being a atheistic place. Weird it is, just odd. I was not able to rise in time to go yesterday. I will make every effort to be up early enough to be in tomorrow before my appointment. I will be in, somehow, period.
I am still thinking over how to wash the cat. Since my finances are tapped for the moment, Sam gets a short reprieve. It is not that my ideas are really expensive, it is just that the several of them could end costing a slight coin more than I am willing to part with, and if one does not work another would need to be expensed. The cat wins for now. Still, she is generally clean. She comes back in a little greasy or dirty from playing and hunting. After a little lick and spit she spiffs up well. I just suspect she needs a little more than what she can do herself from time to time. Sassy really needed cleaned. She has not quite learned the fine art of cleanliness. I suspect, after getting washed a few times as needed, she will pick up the pace given the alternative. Who knows though, maybe it is merely a maturity thing, as she spends so much time playing hard, then sleeping, that she does not have as much time to spit spiffify. As well, I think Sam somehow does not help things with the kitten.
I will try to get the house picked up and find a couple of books I am looking for today. Dishes need tending, I need to wash the spare litter boxes, sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming are all on the list. Actually, I have never quite gotten to vacuuming yet, or mopping actually. I do understands feline aversion to water, I have it for the vacuum cleaner. As well, I have no logical reason while they do. A cat who cannot dry off in an hour may well get VERY sick or die. They know it. They, however, have no means of taking low humidity into consideration. Ackh! Cats have more reasoning capacity than I? Yep, in this comparison case. Well, a vacuum cleaner could electrocute me? Bah!
That is it for today. I just woke up an hour or so ago. Bad. Very bad. But it is what it is. Good day.
.
I do not think the place that would have the items I am looking for as sleep remedies is open on Sundays, in spite of it being a atheistic place. Weird it is, just odd. I was not able to rise in time to go yesterday. I will make every effort to be up early enough to be in tomorrow before my appointment. I will be in, somehow, period.
I am still thinking over how to wash the cat. Since my finances are tapped for the moment, Sam gets a short reprieve. It is not that my ideas are really expensive, it is just that the several of them could end costing a slight coin more than I am willing to part with, and if one does not work another would need to be expensed. The cat wins for now. Still, she is generally clean. She comes back in a little greasy or dirty from playing and hunting. After a little lick and spit she spiffs up well. I just suspect she needs a little more than what she can do herself from time to time. Sassy really needed cleaned. She has not quite learned the fine art of cleanliness. I suspect, after getting washed a few times as needed, she will pick up the pace given the alternative. Who knows though, maybe it is merely a maturity thing, as she spends so much time playing hard, then sleeping, that she does not have as much time to spit spiffify. As well, I think Sam somehow does not help things with the kitten.
I will try to get the house picked up and find a couple of books I am looking for today. Dishes need tending, I need to wash the spare litter boxes, sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming are all on the list. Actually, I have never quite gotten to vacuuming yet, or mopping actually. I do understands feline aversion to water, I have it for the vacuum cleaner. As well, I have no logical reason while they do. A cat who cannot dry off in an hour may well get VERY sick or die. They know it. They, however, have no means of taking low humidity into consideration. Ackh! Cats have more reasoning capacity than I? Yep, in this comparison case. Well, a vacuum cleaner could electrocute me? Bah!
That is it for today. I just woke up an hour or so ago. Bad. Very bad. But it is what it is. Good day.
On the matter of washing cats.
.
.
My first suggestion is to not try this at home. Or, if you do, to figure out something before hand. Do not expect to simply gently carry your cat into the bathroom, no matter how prepped it is but more so if not prepped, and simply tickle your little furry friend with a little soap, water, and giggles. It does not work like that. Oh no, no it does not.
I did get the kitty cleaned. She smelled sour and I thought I could tackle her. Sure enough, I got the deed done, and with only one or two very minor scratches. Oh, she struggled, fussed, and howled in a manner I have rarely heard a cat sound off. I can see why cats were thought to have been somehow connected with Satan. I found, with her, that the skin at the back of the neck worked rather well. A little care when that was not possible made for a clean kitten.
Sam, on the other hand, was simply impossible. The skin on the back of her neck did little good. She was swinging those claws around, out like little switchblades, like some kind of rotating, gyrating, vorporal weapon. I narrowly missed those claws several times. In spite of being rather small creatures, cats are still partially feral so they are far stronger than they would seem. Beyond that, their natural ability to literally twist inside their skin along with the silkiness of their fur makes them quite formidable little beasties.
I realized, without protective gear or some means of mechanically limiting Sam's ability to claw, I was not going to get the job done without serious injuries. No, really. So, I got to thinking. Perhaps I could tie her up, hogtie her really. I grabbed a length of parachute cord, the cat, and went in to the couch where we could play cowboy and cow. Tying up a cat is about as easy as washing them, if less dangerous. Sam let me do what I wanted, so long as water was not near, and then did her best to undo what I was doing. She was far more successful at undoing than I was at doing. I am not, however, a knot expert. I may look through my books. I bought several books on the topic of knot tying, and I know there is a self tightening knot or there which might work in this situation (and at least one of them is safe for people (thus animals most likely). The other options is to find something, like a shirt give or take, which would restrict her limbs but would allow me to wash her as well. Either those, perhaps, or waterproof full body armor of some minor sort. Everything I have that is most waterproof is too thick to be functional at washing her or too thin to be of any serious protection. Just thinking here. I suspect I will go with the knots. I need practice anyway.
Not much else has been done today. With my sleep becoming erratic, even in just a few short days, I have lost track of what day it is. I will have to keep on top of that. I have two things coming up. Sassy goes in to be fixed the morning I am supposed to go for a checkup. There is no way I will be able to deliver her by 7:00, so I will simply have to leave her there the day before and pick her up on my way home from the appointment. That is the only way. I am hoping to get to a few things tomorrow. I am going to try to get to sleep in an hour or so as well. Who knows though.
Good night, perhaps.
.
My first suggestion is to not try this at home. Or, if you do, to figure out something before hand. Do not expect to simply gently carry your cat into the bathroom, no matter how prepped it is but more so if not prepped, and simply tickle your little furry friend with a little soap, water, and giggles. It does not work like that. Oh no, no it does not.
I did get the kitty cleaned. She smelled sour and I thought I could tackle her. Sure enough, I got the deed done, and with only one or two very minor scratches. Oh, she struggled, fussed, and howled in a manner I have rarely heard a cat sound off. I can see why cats were thought to have been somehow connected with Satan. I found, with her, that the skin at the back of the neck worked rather well. A little care when that was not possible made for a clean kitten.
Sam, on the other hand, was simply impossible. The skin on the back of her neck did little good. She was swinging those claws around, out like little switchblades, like some kind of rotating, gyrating, vorporal weapon. I narrowly missed those claws several times. In spite of being rather small creatures, cats are still partially feral so they are far stronger than they would seem. Beyond that, their natural ability to literally twist inside their skin along with the silkiness of their fur makes them quite formidable little beasties.
I realized, without protective gear or some means of mechanically limiting Sam's ability to claw, I was not going to get the job done without serious injuries. No, really. So, I got to thinking. Perhaps I could tie her up, hogtie her really. I grabbed a length of parachute cord, the cat, and went in to the couch where we could play cowboy and cow. Tying up a cat is about as easy as washing them, if less dangerous. Sam let me do what I wanted, so long as water was not near, and then did her best to undo what I was doing. She was far more successful at undoing than I was at doing. I am not, however, a knot expert. I may look through my books. I bought several books on the topic of knot tying, and I know there is a self tightening knot or there which might work in this situation (and at least one of them is safe for people (thus animals most likely). The other options is to find something, like a shirt give or take, which would restrict her limbs but would allow me to wash her as well. Either those, perhaps, or waterproof full body armor of some minor sort. Everything I have that is most waterproof is too thick to be functional at washing her or too thin to be of any serious protection. Just thinking here. I suspect I will go with the knots. I need practice anyway.
Not much else has been done today. With my sleep becoming erratic, even in just a few short days, I have lost track of what day it is. I will have to keep on top of that. I have two things coming up. Sassy goes in to be fixed the morning I am supposed to go for a checkup. There is no way I will be able to deliver her by 7:00, so I will simply have to leave her there the day before and pick her up on my way home from the appointment. That is the only way. I am hoping to get to a few things tomorrow. I am going to try to get to sleep in an hour or so as well. Who knows though.
Good night, perhaps.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Yes, I get 9/11.
.
.
I do. I was reading a post earlier where someone said they avoid watching the events more than once a year, on the anniversary, because they tend to tear up or outright cry. At first, in my half asleep way, I grumbled about the notion. Well, until I realize I do the same thing. Never... mind... Fine, yeah, okay, I see that. I really understand the outrage over the event, or each of them if you want to get particular. Each plane and what happened to it, the passengers and crew it carried, and the people in the buildings most of those planes hit. Each building hit is or was a vital part of what America is (for good or ill can be discussed by leftists, and various miscreants, just not here). I am one of those people on those planes by the fact that I am simply a citizen of the nation. I worked with and for one of those targets. And I have always believed in the nature of what the other two buildings attacked represent, if I cannot become a part of that I have hope for children or at least family members working their way up to that type of success. So, the attack was personal though I knew not a single person murdered that day.
I do understand the reaction our government developed and carried out. The perfection, direction, and outcomes can and are questioned. I do some of that myself. However, I understand that this nation, regardless what some naysayers think, is a populist Democratic Republic. The pressure to do what was done, and even more than what has been done and is ongoing, was beyond any politician, no matter how principled, to avoid. Ron Paul, believe or not at your peril, would have had our military doing pretty much what it did or more (he has a bona fide deficit, and like Democrats, would have had to prove his fidelity to "his people". That is why Democrats have started most of the wars we have been in, it is an attempt (and usually a failed one) to cover their deficit (as well, they have found the populist aspect of war often works in their favor come election time).
So, yeah, I see these things and I understand the war on islam (as that is what it truly is, regardless the silk split tongues which deny the thing). I understand why Americans, the smart ones, really want an end to islam in America. The cult will never be an American institution because it does not believe in free will, it does not support democracy. It is against secularism (though all religions should be, meaning Christianity in America is pretty much dead). The difference, however, between Christianity and islam is that Christianity does not believe in using violence to enforce it's tenants.
What I do not get is the fact that we have a group of people, right here in our borders, who we already call citizens, who kill far more than any foreign group or so-called religion ever has. They murder over 10 times the number of people, by population base, as anyone else. I cannot seem to find the forcible rape or other crimes committed by this group, thanks in part to a politically corrected FBI (was surprised I found what I did, to be honest), though I have heard that is even worse. We have an enemy within our borders, and amongst our "citizenry" which is completely ignored. An enemy who murders more people, rapes more people, and commits crimes of every flavor with complete abandon.
I guess, what I am saying, is we really need to clean up our own home before we try and clean up the world. At the least, it should be a two pronged offense. The question is how do we do this? With a foreign enemy, the case is very simple. The only way to wage war on a citizen bloc is either the dysfunctional method of police application we are using currently or the suspension of rights to the bloc in question.
Outraged about 9/11? Yes, yes indeed. But that pales in comparison. If the government is truly set up to preserve the rights of all, then it must also have the backbone to suspend the rights of those who suppress, or simply strip, the rights of others through crime. Instead we have police forces, laws themselves, and bureaucrats who work to offer super justice to this group. A government which shows preference for these enemies. And then we wonder why we have a problem with an enemy building a cult center to celebrate their victory over America through murder right next door to where they committed their crime? Really? What a surprise.
.
I do. I was reading a post earlier where someone said they avoid watching the events more than once a year, on the anniversary, because they tend to tear up or outright cry. At first, in my half asleep way, I grumbled about the notion. Well, until I realize I do the same thing. Never... mind... Fine, yeah, okay, I see that. I really understand the outrage over the event, or each of them if you want to get particular. Each plane and what happened to it, the passengers and crew it carried, and the people in the buildings most of those planes hit. Each building hit is or was a vital part of what America is (for good or ill can be discussed by leftists, and various miscreants, just not here). I am one of those people on those planes by the fact that I am simply a citizen of the nation. I worked with and for one of those targets. And I have always believed in the nature of what the other two buildings attacked represent, if I cannot become a part of that I have hope for children or at least family members working their way up to that type of success. So, the attack was personal though I knew not a single person murdered that day.
I do understand the reaction our government developed and carried out. The perfection, direction, and outcomes can and are questioned. I do some of that myself. However, I understand that this nation, regardless what some naysayers think, is a populist Democratic Republic. The pressure to do what was done, and even more than what has been done and is ongoing, was beyond any politician, no matter how principled, to avoid. Ron Paul, believe or not at your peril, would have had our military doing pretty much what it did or more (he has a bona fide deficit, and like Democrats, would have had to prove his fidelity to "his people". That is why Democrats have started most of the wars we have been in, it is an attempt (and usually a failed one) to cover their deficit (as well, they have found the populist aspect of war often works in their favor come election time).
So, yeah, I see these things and I understand the war on islam (as that is what it truly is, regardless the silk split tongues which deny the thing). I understand why Americans, the smart ones, really want an end to islam in America. The cult will never be an American institution because it does not believe in free will, it does not support democracy. It is against secularism (though all religions should be, meaning Christianity in America is pretty much dead). The difference, however, between Christianity and islam is that Christianity does not believe in using violence to enforce it's tenants.
What I do not get is the fact that we have a group of people, right here in our borders, who we already call citizens, who kill far more than any foreign group or so-called religion ever has. They murder over 10 times the number of people, by population base, as anyone else. I cannot seem to find the forcible rape or other crimes committed by this group, thanks in part to a politically corrected FBI (was surprised I found what I did, to be honest), though I have heard that is even worse. We have an enemy within our borders, and amongst our "citizenry" which is completely ignored. An enemy who murders more people, rapes more people, and commits crimes of every flavor with complete abandon.
I guess, what I am saying, is we really need to clean up our own home before we try and clean up the world. At the least, it should be a two pronged offense. The question is how do we do this? With a foreign enemy, the case is very simple. The only way to wage war on a citizen bloc is either the dysfunctional method of police application we are using currently or the suspension of rights to the bloc in question.
Outraged about 9/11? Yes, yes indeed. But that pales in comparison. If the government is truly set up to preserve the rights of all, then it must also have the backbone to suspend the rights of those who suppress, or simply strip, the rights of others through crime. Instead we have police forces, laws themselves, and bureaucrats who work to offer super justice to this group. A government which shows preference for these enemies. And then we wonder why we have a problem with an enemy building a cult center to celebrate their victory over America through murder right next door to where they committed their crime? Really? What a surprise.
Hmm...
.
.
I woke up a little before 1:00. Simply put, there was no going right back to sleep. I do not know what woke me. I decided to tinker a bit, watch a bit of tube, eat a bite, then try to go back to bed. At a little after 3:00, I think it is time. If not perfect, I am doing all I can to figure this thing out.
Good night, again, I hope, Mom.
Update: No such luck. Sleep could not be had. Two hours of rolling and tossing netted me nothing but frustration. So, I am up. I will try to make it through the day. It will be a rough one. I will, as usual, simply do what I can. Oh, I cannot remember the tea, but the other stuff is melatonin I believe. I need to get into town and check on that. Money is so tight though, I will have to really think before a purchase. I am hoping I can get a decent supply for $10 per, or less. I could go a bit higher, but not much.
Later.
*grumble*
I remember. Camomile... tea... If those do not work, there is one more thing to add in to the mix. I hate medicine, of any kind. We will see.
.
I woke up a little before 1:00. Simply put, there was no going right back to sleep. I do not know what woke me. I decided to tinker a bit, watch a bit of tube, eat a bite, then try to go back to bed. At a little after 3:00, I think it is time. If not perfect, I am doing all I can to figure this thing out.
Good night, again, I hope, Mom.
Update: No such luck. Sleep could not be had. Two hours of rolling and tossing netted me nothing but frustration. So, I am up. I will try to make it through the day. It will be a rough one. I will, as usual, simply do what I can. Oh, I cannot remember the tea, but the other stuff is melatonin I believe. I need to get into town and check on that. Money is so tight though, I will have to really think before a purchase. I am hoping I can get a decent supply for $10 per, or less. I could go a bit higher, but not much.
Later.
*grumble*
I remember. Camomile... tea... If those do not work, there is one more thing to add in to the mix. I hate medicine, of any kind. We will see.
Friday, September 10, 2010
To bed by 22:00?
.
.
Could be. I have about a half an hour to prepare. I did not find, or even end up looking for, the book I had in mind. However, I have another that might do. I did not make it into town either. Tomorrow, perhaps, will see to these things. I will set the alarm for 8:00 tomorrow. That would allow 2 and a half hours for reading and tossing and turning and still offer eight hours of sleep. We will see.
While I did tend to some business, little else was done today. So be it. I suppose, given everything, that is to be expected. If I can get my schedule arranged over the weekend, I will worry about little, doing what I see, think about, and whatever happens to happen will be the way of things.
I decided to let Sam out a day early. I now, more fully, understand why parents suggest that punishing children is at least as, if not more, difficult for the parent. Sam's incessant begging, whining, and foul mood has been torturous. Still, I was pleased I lasted as long as I did. I tried to get Sassy to venture forth, along with me, for a bit. Her big eyes and fluffy ears took in of the outdoors what they could from just a step out and with the doors wide open. She stayed for just a bit, I coaxed her back a time or two, and then she ran away like the little girl she is. It was a pleasing number of moments. She will graduate soon, this was her first step outside, ever, I do believe.
It is time. Good night, I hope, Jean.
.
Could be. I have about a half an hour to prepare. I did not find, or even end up looking for, the book I had in mind. However, I have another that might do. I did not make it into town either. Tomorrow, perhaps, will see to these things. I will set the alarm for 8:00 tomorrow. That would allow 2 and a half hours for reading and tossing and turning and still offer eight hours of sleep. We will see.
While I did tend to some business, little else was done today. So be it. I suppose, given everything, that is to be expected. If I can get my schedule arranged over the weekend, I will worry about little, doing what I see, think about, and whatever happens to happen will be the way of things.
I decided to let Sam out a day early. I now, more fully, understand why parents suggest that punishing children is at least as, if not more, difficult for the parent. Sam's incessant begging, whining, and foul mood has been torturous. Still, I was pleased I lasted as long as I did. I tried to get Sassy to venture forth, along with me, for a bit. Her big eyes and fluffy ears took in of the outdoors what they could from just a step out and with the doors wide open. She stayed for just a bit, I coaxed her back a time or two, and then she ran away like the little girl she is. It was a pleasing number of moments. She will graduate soon, this was her first step outside, ever, I do believe.
It is time. Good night, I hope, Jean.
Not exactly full of pep and vinegar.
.
.
Perhaps soda water and a minor pip? The day is going along. I am still awake and will probably be able to stay up until 22:00. I think I am going to target that as my bedtime. That would make a 6:00 wake up more probable. From speaking with my chiropractor, D.C., and some others of you, I think I might try something else. I have heard from a number of sources about some sleep remedies. Some type of tea and... something else. Bah, I never can pull something up after having just remembered them two minutes ago. Anyway, while in town today, I will stop by a place that might carry these things. As well, trying to get some physical work in, eating a bit more rightly, and avoiding caffeine after 17:00. And I should find that book and toss in a plan to read for an hour before bed.
I did call the V.A. regarding the paperwork I am seeking. A request of information would do me no good. I spent a little time working the call, however, and remained pleasant. The woman on the other end was pleasant as well. I described that I need proof of disability to obtain state tax relief, having moved from Iowa, that I needed my vocational file transferred, and that the number I had (which was the one she was attempting to offer me) had been called 15 times without even making it to being put on hold waiting for someone to answer. So, she suggested I drive to Salt Lake City, if I could, and do this in person. Done... or will be.
I also checked my finances. I think I can make it but it will be a very tight month. That I is all I am saying. I will have to watch every single nickle. Groceries and some gas is all I will be able to do. No extras, from water storage to buckets, will make it out of my finances. I have spent a lot of money on tools, supplies, construction materials, and the rest. I simply have to back off for a month or three. I would like to say it was all worth it, and it is. But more, most of it is necessary. That is simply the way it goes. I do not regret the expenditures if I do hate being this financially tight.
A trip to town, as cat litter is vital and I only have enough for another change or two. As well, I would like to at least price the tea and that other stuff. Then a bit of work in the garage. Perhaps more math studies tonight after that. And finally, I might just be able to find that book. I have been itching to dig into it. It seems that when I had it at hand, I was too busy. Now that I have the time and energy, I cannot find the book. All in all though, things are looking up. Oh, one more business call... if I can find the number.
Have a good day.
.
Perhaps soda water and a minor pip? The day is going along. I am still awake and will probably be able to stay up until 22:00. I think I am going to target that as my bedtime. That would make a 6:00 wake up more probable. From speaking with my chiropractor, D.C., and some others of you, I think I might try something else. I have heard from a number of sources about some sleep remedies. Some type of tea and... something else. Bah, I never can pull something up after having just remembered them two minutes ago. Anyway, while in town today, I will stop by a place that might carry these things. As well, trying to get some physical work in, eating a bit more rightly, and avoiding caffeine after 17:00. And I should find that book and toss in a plan to read for an hour before bed.
I did call the V.A. regarding the paperwork I am seeking. A request of information would do me no good. I spent a little time working the call, however, and remained pleasant. The woman on the other end was pleasant as well. I described that I need proof of disability to obtain state tax relief, having moved from Iowa, that I needed my vocational file transferred, and that the number I had (which was the one she was attempting to offer me) had been called 15 times without even making it to being put on hold waiting for someone to answer. So, she suggested I drive to Salt Lake City, if I could, and do this in person. Done... or will be.
I also checked my finances. I think I can make it but it will be a very tight month. That I is all I am saying. I will have to watch every single nickle. Groceries and some gas is all I will be able to do. No extras, from water storage to buckets, will make it out of my finances. I have spent a lot of money on tools, supplies, construction materials, and the rest. I simply have to back off for a month or three. I would like to say it was all worth it, and it is. But more, most of it is necessary. That is simply the way it goes. I do not regret the expenditures if I do hate being this financially tight.
A trip to town, as cat litter is vital and I only have enough for another change or two. As well, I would like to at least price the tea and that other stuff. Then a bit of work in the garage. Perhaps more math studies tonight after that. And finally, I might just be able to find that book. I have been itching to dig into it. It seems that when I had it at hand, I was too busy. Now that I have the time and energy, I cannot find the book. All in all though, things are looking up. Oh, one more business call... if I can find the number.
Have a good day.
Snoopy dance?
.
.
I am sure considering it. I was able to get to sleep after that last post, with only a short (normalish) falling asleep period. And I was up at 10:00, the first time my alarm sounded. Oh, I wanted to hit snooze and crawl back under the blanket, I really did. I had enough going to push though, I was able to stay up if not completely ready. It means I do have some willpower. I have been up since and I am going to be up all day. Wow, nice! It has been a week or more since I have had a nearly whole day to play with. What to do though?
I need more cat litter. I think when I go in I will buy several packages of it. I am using Tidy Step. It works well, to my way of thinking. As I have been washing the litter pans occasionally and changing them every few days, I no longer have 'the smell'. It is worth a little extra effort (very little extra effort all said and done) both for myself and my furry friends. They act up less when life is good. I should also buy a bit more food. Sassy still eats like a growing tiger while Sam is rather a delicate eater. She needs a little more weight, to my mind, though she is solid so I will not complain or worry about her health.
Today would be a good day to hit the garage. It is not a big job. Some sorting and setting up of the weight bench before the place turns into a mess is all. I do want to get matting material for under the bench, at least. But that will have to wait. I did research on materials, looking mostly at interconnecting tiles of various materials. It is rather pricey, at least for my current budget. Further, it would be nice to have something on the floor of the whole garage, though it would not need to be as dense as that under the weight lifting area. Oh, I know, foolish stuff. And yet, it is a matter of tending to what I have. It is not simply vanity. The panels are not all that attractive, they merely keep the cement from becoming cracked and chipped. Another year or two might see that done, perhaps.
Business. I need to prepare a letter to fax to the V.A. I need to pay a few bills and sort my finances. While in town, I could finally get to some short term food storage shopping. Once I have a small but reasonable supply, say several weeks worth of food, I am going to begin looking to begin using that food as part of my ongoing system. Some foods will make the cut, some will not, but until I have a reasonable supply to test, I would rather just store. Worst case scenario, I am stuck surviving for a short bit on foods I do not like but which would work in any case. The hope is to buy, store, test as I go, find some finalists, and then shop for those in larger quantities. Sometimes I wonder if I am just tinkering. But the fact is, money, time, and effort are all in scarce supply, so no matter my will I simply have to do these things in some sort of order using what logic is available to me. And, I need to remember, to a degree, this is a game. I cannot let the realities on the ground get me down, I have what I have and do what I can, as I can. And, that idea needs to be considered in all other areas of my life.
It is so very good to be awake "early" again. My goal is still a 6:00 wake up. For the moment this will do nicely. I have heard no bad news. I am not sure what all the calls were, I am pretty sure they happened, I guess I will find out. But if it was bad news, I am sure I would have heard.
Oh, Sassy, the kitten, is favoring an eye. It looks like there is some swelling, on the outside, like a kitty black eye. The eye itself seems fine. It started yesterday and has grown worse. Of course, I do worry. There is no tearing, the eye looks good, and there does some to be some swelling in the lid. Perhaps Sam batted her, perhaps she got a claw in, perhaps Sassy just dodged left and should have dodged right (with or without Sam's "help"), or maybe she just ran into something. It bothers me. I will keep an eye on it, no pun intended.
Well, to figure out how to get those things done I had best get going. A bit sleepy, again, now. That is probably to be expected. Later.
.
I am sure considering it. I was able to get to sleep after that last post, with only a short (normalish) falling asleep period. And I was up at 10:00, the first time my alarm sounded. Oh, I wanted to hit snooze and crawl back under the blanket, I really did. I had enough going to push though, I was able to stay up if not completely ready. It means I do have some willpower. I have been up since and I am going to be up all day. Wow, nice! It has been a week or more since I have had a nearly whole day to play with. What to do though?
I need more cat litter. I think when I go in I will buy several packages of it. I am using Tidy Step. It works well, to my way of thinking. As I have been washing the litter pans occasionally and changing them every few days, I no longer have 'the smell'. It is worth a little extra effort (very little extra effort all said and done) both for myself and my furry friends. They act up less when life is good. I should also buy a bit more food. Sassy still eats like a growing tiger while Sam is rather a delicate eater. She needs a little more weight, to my mind, though she is solid so I will not complain or worry about her health.
Today would be a good day to hit the garage. It is not a big job. Some sorting and setting up of the weight bench before the place turns into a mess is all. I do want to get matting material for under the bench, at least. But that will have to wait. I did research on materials, looking mostly at interconnecting tiles of various materials. It is rather pricey, at least for my current budget. Further, it would be nice to have something on the floor of the whole garage, though it would not need to be as dense as that under the weight lifting area. Oh, I know, foolish stuff. And yet, it is a matter of tending to what I have. It is not simply vanity. The panels are not all that attractive, they merely keep the cement from becoming cracked and chipped. Another year or two might see that done, perhaps.
Business. I need to prepare a letter to fax to the V.A. I need to pay a few bills and sort my finances. While in town, I could finally get to some short term food storage shopping. Once I have a small but reasonable supply, say several weeks worth of food, I am going to begin looking to begin using that food as part of my ongoing system. Some foods will make the cut, some will not, but until I have a reasonable supply to test, I would rather just store. Worst case scenario, I am stuck surviving for a short bit on foods I do not like but which would work in any case. The hope is to buy, store, test as I go, find some finalists, and then shop for those in larger quantities. Sometimes I wonder if I am just tinkering. But the fact is, money, time, and effort are all in scarce supply, so no matter my will I simply have to do these things in some sort of order using what logic is available to me. And, I need to remember, to a degree, this is a game. I cannot let the realities on the ground get me down, I have what I have and do what I can, as I can. And, that idea needs to be considered in all other areas of my life.
It is so very good to be awake "early" again. My goal is still a 6:00 wake up. For the moment this will do nicely. I have heard no bad news. I am not sure what all the calls were, I am pretty sure they happened, I guess I will find out. But if it was bad news, I am sure I would have heard.
Oh, Sassy, the kitten, is favoring an eye. It looks like there is some swelling, on the outside, like a kitty black eye. The eye itself seems fine. It started yesterday and has grown worse. Of course, I do worry. There is no tearing, the eye looks good, and there does some to be some swelling in the lid. Perhaps Sam batted her, perhaps she got a claw in, perhaps Sassy just dodged left and should have dodged right (with or without Sam's "help"), or maybe she just ran into something. It bothers me. I will keep an eye on it, no pun intended.
Well, to figure out how to get those things done I had best get going. A bit sleepy, again, now. That is probably to be expected. Later.
A little update and some thoughts.
.
.
I was looking through a few blogs. With so many places to drift to and through and so many thoughts to consider, it is often difficult to do more than simply enjoy the ride. I noticed a headline I did not bother to investigate. Something about how most people now believe their appearances are above average. My first thoughts were that this article was written by one of the irrelevant but somehow still surviving potentates from the stagnant msm pool. And, of course, it is about "young people". These people are extremely into themselves, first by age, and this generation and to a degree my generation, because there are so few who survive that the survivors are more bratified than ever. Now, in my case, I am as handsome as can be. For a rock. And I am good with that. To my mom, of course, why no woman should be able to resist me. To my mom's therapist, if she had one, my mother needs new glasses. However, I have learned that looks are not it for guys at all. Build, finances, risk taking, the ability to chat, talk, and discuss (in the right ways)(there is a difference, I think... have heard...), the willingness and ability to lead, and some other things are what put the schnizle in her step. Further, I am not all that great in that stuff either, just... probably... good enough. If I would get off my butt and go wife shopping.
I did make it to my appointment. I was a bit early, too early to just sit and wait. I decided to go to a place to check out getting a hair cut. While I was there, I asked about coloring my beard. Hmm, that would cost no more than my haircut, they could do it all at once, and the stuff they use does not stink. So, I lined it up. Monday before my next appointment I will be in for a little modification. Funny, while growing my beard I will still be getting a very short hair cut, business/military style. I want my first time in Church to be a good thing. And, I want the geese to swoon. With women, I think they see clothes long before they see the man. Some of that is a financial check, some of it is size, shape, and style. And some of it is psychological architecture and what room they might have to make a difference (improve) us gents.
Anyway, after the appointment, I was done. I made it home and stayed awake until 19:00. That was as far as I could get. At 23:00 I woke and decided to eat a bit, watch some tube (since I was good for little else), and then try to make it back to bed as soon as possible for another early rise, hopefully. Well, it is time to head back to bed. If I make it, and I might, I will be going to bed earlier than on most nights for the last week. Let us hopes this resets my schedule.
Good night, Alannah.
.
I was looking through a few blogs. With so many places to drift to and through and so many thoughts to consider, it is often difficult to do more than simply enjoy the ride. I noticed a headline I did not bother to investigate. Something about how most people now believe their appearances are above average. My first thoughts were that this article was written by one of the irrelevant but somehow still surviving potentates from the stagnant msm pool. And, of course, it is about "young people". These people are extremely into themselves, first by age, and this generation and to a degree my generation, because there are so few who survive that the survivors are more bratified than ever. Now, in my case, I am as handsome as can be. For a rock. And I am good with that. To my mom, of course, why no woman should be able to resist me. To my mom's therapist, if she had one, my mother needs new glasses. However, I have learned that looks are not it for guys at all. Build, finances, risk taking, the ability to chat, talk, and discuss (in the right ways)(there is a difference, I think... have heard...), the willingness and ability to lead, and some other things are what put the schnizle in her step. Further, I am not all that great in that stuff either, just... probably... good enough. If I would get off my butt and go wife shopping.
I did make it to my appointment. I was a bit early, too early to just sit and wait. I decided to go to a place to check out getting a hair cut. While I was there, I asked about coloring my beard. Hmm, that would cost no more than my haircut, they could do it all at once, and the stuff they use does not stink. So, I lined it up. Monday before my next appointment I will be in for a little modification. Funny, while growing my beard I will still be getting a very short hair cut, business/military style. I want my first time in Church to be a good thing. And, I want the geese to swoon. With women, I think they see clothes long before they see the man. Some of that is a financial check, some of it is size, shape, and style. And some of it is psychological architecture and what room they might have to make a difference (improve) us gents.
Anyway, after the appointment, I was done. I made it home and stayed awake until 19:00. That was as far as I could get. At 23:00 I woke and decided to eat a bit, watch some tube (since I was good for little else), and then try to make it back to bed as soon as possible for another early rise, hopefully. Well, it is time to head back to bed. If I make it, and I might, I will be going to bed earlier than on most nights for the last week. Let us hopes this resets my schedule.
Good night, Alannah.
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