.
.
I am not sure about the last of the raking. It's a bit much, solo, for me. I will have visitors, but whether to help raking I don't know. Still, I did get out and do some things. I policed downed branches and twigs, adding them to the burn pile. I had to do some chopping for portability. Then I thought it would be a good time to take Christmas lights down. I did bring up the ladder, though I don't know about getting up on the roof today. It's a low roof, but it takes a bit of energy to clamber up and keep balance even on the modest incline. I did get the power cords down, I can reach where the cord connected with the higher lights. Then I took down the lights on the trees out front. Yes, yes, I rolled the cords onto hangers just for those, and bundled the lights back onto their spool.
For today I think I will just take the ladder back to the garage. Perhaps sometime soon the right mood, weather, and health will see that part done. I also started the dishes. None are of the larger variety, so the kitchen sink will do just find for those. I really need to do some cleaning while I am at it. Just a bit to make washing and messing with dishes easier. I'll save the major cleaning for when the rolling microwave cart shows... should be here Monday. Then I can clear some of the appliances off the counters, THEN hit them with some clean and shine. Until I have a place for things, I just end up stumbling over everything, this way then that. Nothing seems to get as cleans as it should.
If the raking does get finished today, that will probably be it. Oh, maybe hitting the dishes a few times. They had gotten pretty rough since the plumbing fell apart and things backed up. Several cleanings to get down to shine. But not big fuss. There aren't that many to do, sort of. I do need to remember to measure, then buy, some wash basins for the sink. It just really helps if I need to soak things, or if I want to put a general soak basin there for the day, finishing things up at night, but not letting them get crusted from sitting in the arid world out here. If raking doesn't happen, I'll figure some other things to do, maybe.
Tomorrow needs to be a rather simple day. Perhaps a few small chores, but nothing heavy. I am pushing, on top of pushing, already. I did have a fall or two, but so small I decided to keep pushing if I could. I do need a break from time to time, though. I really do. And tomorrow is it. I am pleased with how things are going. I'll try to keep it up. Hmm... then again... I had promised to take people to dinner, but they won't be available for that. Pizza, was the plan. You know what, I might just go on my own. It's been quite some time since I had good pizza.
Later.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Oh, right, another project.
.
.
This one has been discussed sine the first BM event. I just never have gotten to it. The idea was to create a shower room. A luxury in the desert, I must say. In a gifting event, much of what I have considered gifting just doesn't really mean much. MOOP waiting to happen. But a shower, for some, and a place to do that with some privacy, modesty, is quite a fine gift. It can't be taken with, but as many of the best gifts, it will be carried away without loss. Plus, I just like the idea, for a number of reasons. I like to build things, for one thing. Oh, what am I discussing? A hexayurt. Here is a rough examination of the process. Though I would have to get more detailed plans But this is a start.
.
This one has been discussed sine the first BM event. I just never have gotten to it. The idea was to create a shower room. A luxury in the desert, I must say. In a gifting event, much of what I have considered gifting just doesn't really mean much. MOOP waiting to happen. But a shower, for some, and a place to do that with some privacy, modesty, is quite a fine gift. It can't be taken with, but as many of the best gifts, it will be carried away without loss. Plus, I just like the idea, for a number of reasons. I like to build things, for one thing. Oh, what am I discussing? A hexayurt. Here is a rough examination of the process. Though I would have to get more detailed plans But this is a start.
Doubts and worries.
.
.
As much as I have been doing, I worried about this morning. You can know some of this, but not to my level. It isn't just about waking up sore, or needing to sleep in. There have been decades, where if I pushed as I have, I would fall and stay down for months. Months in which memory didn't exist. I had to live, at best, with notes to tell me of anything important, which I would probably miss even so. Months where eating happened in large quantities at rare moments. There was pain, too, but of a sort that never got better. Actually, to some degree, it isn't better now. It's just that between learning to live with it, and my body's natural ability to tolerate large doses of it, I don't notice even when mostly positively cognitive. But the pain can go beyond my capacity to cap it. Part of the fugue can be from emotional, or physical, suffering. At some depths of either, the two somehow mix, compound, and increase. Pushing as I have been has done that.
Not this time. I still wonder if I am skating on the edge of a razor blade... just waiting for the horror to hit. And yet, after weeks, off and on, and really months now, I don't think so. And yet, after a particularly heavy week, I... wonder. Some nights, when I go to bed, I have to think that maybe I won't be waking up for a week, months, perhaps a year. I have been, mostly, down for that long before. I can do much in that fog, and it doesn't seem to impair my native morality, and now Christian ethic. As to doing things, I simply used to need a woman type to guide me, for a while. A woman would still help, but I wouldn't need her for memory. Mostly, or any more than she would need me. :p
The week isn't over. I, at least, have raking this afternoon. And I would like to hit the dishes, with the sink working, and do kitchen cleanup while I am at it. Oh, and maybe break down the last of the boxes. I'm a bit hesitant about some of the boxes... just because of what they contained. I have this fear of tearing a box down only to need it to make a return. How long should you keep boxes? Never mind. I think with what boxes I have, and the time that has gone by, and this and that, it is safe to take those down. It's a little devil I always seem to have to wrestle with, until the task is forgotten. No more. My memory outlives my dilemma these days.
I might actually have the kitchen done, today or tomorrow. Then, next week, I can focus on the living room. Sort, move, dust, vacuum, then steam clean. I think I can get it done next week. Probably. Then, most likely, on to my bedroom, finally. After that, the guest bedroom. And then I will begin figuring out the en suit bathroom. Oh, while I'm in the living room, I need to see about planks for shelving. If 4x12's, of furniture grade... or at least plainable cuts that would work well enough for painting, aren't available, perhaps 3 or solid 2 x 12's are available. They would be lighter, easier to mount, but not nearly as dramatic, or rustic, or... masculine. But they would suit, give or take. I am, after all, making my world. Sometimes, seemingly, out of whole cloth. Things I like, improbable notions, made to work for my eye to design, aesthetics, tastes, wants. Though these things aren't completely stylistic, either. Shelves open up the floor space, making it easier to work the devices to be put on the shelves, opens up the floor for easier cleaning, and is potentially a much steadier base upon which to store these things. In the bathroom, they will offer easier cleaning, and I can adjust the height of the top counter to suit me without having to fuss with building a box for under something else. I simply place the top shelf at the level I want it.
I truly am amazed at how things are going. I keep saying that. As Dr. Manette, from the Tale of Two Cities, if for, mostly, different reasons, I know how quickly I can fall into illness. I am sure, as with him, I myself will fall into my own portion of that notion from time to time. Now, it seems, the falls are rather short, and mild. Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor... and shoesmith. I didn't think I would make it out... alive? Something like that. Wonderful, really. I may never know the fullness of the past or what the future holds. I can't even always contain the moment, though who can? But I am at a place where I can move on, mostly unhindered by those shadows, ghosts, and truths that all but ate the spirit out of me for so long. A new day. And yet, until I am more sure, and experienced, as today, I will always approach some tomorrows with great trepidation. A fugue is a horrible prison, or grave, for the aspects of a being.
Later.
.
As much as I have been doing, I worried about this morning. You can know some of this, but not to my level. It isn't just about waking up sore, or needing to sleep in. There have been decades, where if I pushed as I have, I would fall and stay down for months. Months in which memory didn't exist. I had to live, at best, with notes to tell me of anything important, which I would probably miss even so. Months where eating happened in large quantities at rare moments. There was pain, too, but of a sort that never got better. Actually, to some degree, it isn't better now. It's just that between learning to live with it, and my body's natural ability to tolerate large doses of it, I don't notice even when mostly positively cognitive. But the pain can go beyond my capacity to cap it. Part of the fugue can be from emotional, or physical, suffering. At some depths of either, the two somehow mix, compound, and increase. Pushing as I have been has done that.
Not this time. I still wonder if I am skating on the edge of a razor blade... just waiting for the horror to hit. And yet, after weeks, off and on, and really months now, I don't think so. And yet, after a particularly heavy week, I... wonder. Some nights, when I go to bed, I have to think that maybe I won't be waking up for a week, months, perhaps a year. I have been, mostly, down for that long before. I can do much in that fog, and it doesn't seem to impair my native morality, and now Christian ethic. As to doing things, I simply used to need a woman type to guide me, for a while. A woman would still help, but I wouldn't need her for memory. Mostly, or any more than she would need me. :p
The week isn't over. I, at least, have raking this afternoon. And I would like to hit the dishes, with the sink working, and do kitchen cleanup while I am at it. Oh, and maybe break down the last of the boxes. I'm a bit hesitant about some of the boxes... just because of what they contained. I have this fear of tearing a box down only to need it to make a return. How long should you keep boxes? Never mind. I think with what boxes I have, and the time that has gone by, and this and that, it is safe to take those down. It's a little devil I always seem to have to wrestle with, until the task is forgotten. No more. My memory outlives my dilemma these days.
I might actually have the kitchen done, today or tomorrow. Then, next week, I can focus on the living room. Sort, move, dust, vacuum, then steam clean. I think I can get it done next week. Probably. Then, most likely, on to my bedroom, finally. After that, the guest bedroom. And then I will begin figuring out the en suit bathroom. Oh, while I'm in the living room, I need to see about planks for shelving. If 4x12's, of furniture grade... or at least plainable cuts that would work well enough for painting, aren't available, perhaps 3 or solid 2 x 12's are available. They would be lighter, easier to mount, but not nearly as dramatic, or rustic, or... masculine. But they would suit, give or take. I am, after all, making my world. Sometimes, seemingly, out of whole cloth. Things I like, improbable notions, made to work for my eye to design, aesthetics, tastes, wants. Though these things aren't completely stylistic, either. Shelves open up the floor space, making it easier to work the devices to be put on the shelves, opens up the floor for easier cleaning, and is potentially a much steadier base upon which to store these things. In the bathroom, they will offer easier cleaning, and I can adjust the height of the top counter to suit me without having to fuss with building a box for under something else. I simply place the top shelf at the level I want it.
I truly am amazed at how things are going. I keep saying that. As Dr. Manette, from the Tale of Two Cities, if for, mostly, different reasons, I know how quickly I can fall into illness. I am sure, as with him, I myself will fall into my own portion of that notion from time to time. Now, it seems, the falls are rather short, and mild. Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor... and shoesmith. I didn't think I would make it out... alive? Something like that. Wonderful, really. I may never know the fullness of the past or what the future holds. I can't even always contain the moment, though who can? But I am at a place where I can move on, mostly unhindered by those shadows, ghosts, and truths that all but ate the spirit out of me for so long. A new day. And yet, until I am more sure, and experienced, as today, I will always approach some tomorrows with great trepidation. A fugue is a horrible prison, or grave, for the aspects of a being.
Later.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Wonderful day.
.
.
I am definitely glad my friend called. I would have done a few things, maybe, but mostly drifted. Oh, I still drifted, until I started to get tired and grumpy, just a bit.
I don't know if I mentioned it, but it turns out that I was able to use the old parts to fix the leak. I simply had one of the pieces screwed wrong. It seemed right, it just wasn't. As I was taking it off, I felt a slight pop. Thinking that it might have been wrongly threaded I put it back on, rightly, I guess, this time. Leak solved. I ran water for a while, several times, to make sure. Not even a drip, anywhere. Still, I wanted a couple more pieces, which I found easily.
I got him out shooting. Almost had to call it off, he was having a nasty serious nose bleed. But since he had eaten and I was hungry, we decided that I would go eat and check back when I was done. And that worked out perfectly. He had staunched the bleed and I was sated. We both are doing rather good on the range. Cans and bottles at 10 to 30 yards, pretty much every shot. Oh, sometimes one of us became a little hopped up on our success so didn't line one up, and there are misses just on their own. But good shooting. My pistol jammed. I know it just needs cleaning. Some pistols you can pretty much let go, others you have to baby.
One odd thing... while I was eating my sandwich, a Japanese couple entered the restaurant. They weren't an exact, perfect, match for the video I posted yesterday. But they weren't that far off either. I... simply enjoyed the notions. No, not in a busy-body type of way, only in the fate of meeting two who... at some time... could, and probably have, played out those scenes. Just the art chasing fiction chasing facet, the... serendipity of it all. It was a peaceful thing. Omen or just chance, all the same to a simple sort such as I.
After that, my friend was pretty much done. He had just gone shopping yesterday, so needed nothing. I was going to drag him along, but it worked out that I could let him off more easily than not. You know how your mind thinks one thing and your body just drives it's own way? Yeah, well, that happens to me a lot... when someone is in the vehicle talking. Out he went, with gear and such. Oh, but I did let him know that I wanted to have a bonfire next week. And to let our other friend know. We'll see, for his part.
Then on to my shopping tour. Six to eight months, perhaps more, maybe less, of tobacco was purchased. I ran into the friend I wanted my other friend to invited to the burn. I almost ran right past him, buffaloing my way to some then distant finish line, then home. I got the scoop on his recent heart problem. His pacemaker gave out. He ended up at the local hospital, where he nearly died. They had to shock him while he was awake. Not fun, pretty much, is what I gathered. After enough rough stuff for a year of Sundays, they sent him to a specialty hospital where they gave him the whatfor again, hooked him to the octopus monitor, and brought in a nurse sergeant major who worked him into not having to get shocked again. Damn kids. Gotta watch them every second. In any case, I invited him and the man with him, out sometime next week. Funny how things work out.
Then I had meant to go to the hardware store and grocery store, but decided to stop at the kitchen specialty store. I was looking for a french fry maker, which I found. A bit pricier than I had hoped. I'll run it through the paces shortly, to see if it was worth the money. I also thought to look at coated pans, for omelets. I wasn't sure whether to buy an 8" or 10". The price decidedly settled it, with the 8" being almost half the cost of the 10". Since I wasn't sure I wanted to buy anyway... Still, I went ahead with the 8". If it doesn't work for my preference, I'll... just buy a bigger pan sooner or later.
At the hardware store I got the extra parts I wanted, and a few I thought might come in handy. It's the seals that I really need, so I got plenty of those. While I was at it, I saw a couple of larger trash pails... not quite kitchen size, but that would make life easier. One for near where I sit in the living room, one for here by the computer. It might seem excessive. But it would really help me stay on top of things, not have everything pile up, and allow me some breathing room if I can't get to emptying the darn things every five minutes as the smaller ones seem to demand.
Finally to the grocery store. Milk, more cheese, beer (I earned it), and little bits of this and that, including fresh eggs. I've put up the groceries, and most things, save the pan and french fry press. Those need to be washed. I will be getting to the dishes very soon, with the faucet running at speed and the drain working like a charm. I'll keep an eye out for drips over the next few weeks, but I think I got it.
Tired. Bushed. But hungry. The last time I was shopping with my friend, he noticed a good buy on king crab. He bought a goodly lot, and talked me into doing the same. I am thinking those, clarified butter, and beer, would make for a wonderful end to a long hard day. I really pushed, and worked it, and had done a few things here at home first as well. All good. Later, perhaps good night.
Oh, have I ever mentioned, that women are... quite fine. Yes, yes, I have had a wonderful day, in many places, in their company. Some days it just... works. Right, on too... something. Dinner I do believe.
.
I am definitely glad my friend called. I would have done a few things, maybe, but mostly drifted. Oh, I still drifted, until I started to get tired and grumpy, just a bit.
I don't know if I mentioned it, but it turns out that I was able to use the old parts to fix the leak. I simply had one of the pieces screwed wrong. It seemed right, it just wasn't. As I was taking it off, I felt a slight pop. Thinking that it might have been wrongly threaded I put it back on, rightly, I guess, this time. Leak solved. I ran water for a while, several times, to make sure. Not even a drip, anywhere. Still, I wanted a couple more pieces, which I found easily.
I got him out shooting. Almost had to call it off, he was having a nasty serious nose bleed. But since he had eaten and I was hungry, we decided that I would go eat and check back when I was done. And that worked out perfectly. He had staunched the bleed and I was sated. We both are doing rather good on the range. Cans and bottles at 10 to 30 yards, pretty much every shot. Oh, sometimes one of us became a little hopped up on our success so didn't line one up, and there are misses just on their own. But good shooting. My pistol jammed. I know it just needs cleaning. Some pistols you can pretty much let go, others you have to baby.
One odd thing... while I was eating my sandwich, a Japanese couple entered the restaurant. They weren't an exact, perfect, match for the video I posted yesterday. But they weren't that far off either. I... simply enjoyed the notions. No, not in a busy-body type of way, only in the fate of meeting two who... at some time... could, and probably have, played out those scenes. Just the art chasing fiction chasing facet, the... serendipity of it all. It was a peaceful thing. Omen or just chance, all the same to a simple sort such as I.
After that, my friend was pretty much done. He had just gone shopping yesterday, so needed nothing. I was going to drag him along, but it worked out that I could let him off more easily than not. You know how your mind thinks one thing and your body just drives it's own way? Yeah, well, that happens to me a lot... when someone is in the vehicle talking. Out he went, with gear and such. Oh, but I did let him know that I wanted to have a bonfire next week. And to let our other friend know. We'll see, for his part.
Then on to my shopping tour. Six to eight months, perhaps more, maybe less, of tobacco was purchased. I ran into the friend I wanted my other friend to invited to the burn. I almost ran right past him, buffaloing my way to some then distant finish line, then home. I got the scoop on his recent heart problem. His pacemaker gave out. He ended up at the local hospital, where he nearly died. They had to shock him while he was awake. Not fun, pretty much, is what I gathered. After enough rough stuff for a year of Sundays, they sent him to a specialty hospital where they gave him the whatfor again, hooked him to the octopus monitor, and brought in a nurse sergeant major who worked him into not having to get shocked again. Damn kids. Gotta watch them every second. In any case, I invited him and the man with him, out sometime next week. Funny how things work out.
Then I had meant to go to the hardware store and grocery store, but decided to stop at the kitchen specialty store. I was looking for a french fry maker, which I found. A bit pricier than I had hoped. I'll run it through the paces shortly, to see if it was worth the money. I also thought to look at coated pans, for omelets. I wasn't sure whether to buy an 8" or 10". The price decidedly settled it, with the 8" being almost half the cost of the 10". Since I wasn't sure I wanted to buy anyway... Still, I went ahead with the 8". If it doesn't work for my preference, I'll... just buy a bigger pan sooner or later.
At the hardware store I got the extra parts I wanted, and a few I thought might come in handy. It's the seals that I really need, so I got plenty of those. While I was at it, I saw a couple of larger trash pails... not quite kitchen size, but that would make life easier. One for near where I sit in the living room, one for here by the computer. It might seem excessive. But it would really help me stay on top of things, not have everything pile up, and allow me some breathing room if I can't get to emptying the darn things every five minutes as the smaller ones seem to demand.
Finally to the grocery store. Milk, more cheese, beer (I earned it), and little bits of this and that, including fresh eggs. I've put up the groceries, and most things, save the pan and french fry press. Those need to be washed. I will be getting to the dishes very soon, with the faucet running at speed and the drain working like a charm. I'll keep an eye out for drips over the next few weeks, but I think I got it.
Tired. Bushed. But hungry. The last time I was shopping with my friend, he noticed a good buy on king crab. He bought a goodly lot, and talked me into doing the same. I am thinking those, clarified butter, and beer, would make for a wonderful end to a long hard day. I really pushed, and worked it, and had done a few things here at home first as well. All good. Later, perhaps good night.
Oh, have I ever mentioned, that women are... quite fine. Yes, yes, I have had a wonderful day, in many places, in their company. Some days it just... works. Right, on too... something. Dinner I do believe.
Interesting day.
.
.
Neither healthy nor ill, not good or bad, not even all here. I did get to work on the plumbing. I used some old parts. Those won't work. I did find the new parts. There is just enough to possibly make it work, so I'll give it a shot right after this post. I did have to cut a couple of the pipes, which went smoothly. The part that didn't work in the old system does work in the new system. It is merely that the old seals around a slip joint, I hope, are what are failing. So I will put the new ones in. And, when I am in town, I will buy extra. There was just exactly enough when I went to town last time.
I'm not really going for the hardware. I don't think it will be needed, save to have extra for any problems that might occur. Extra parts for the plumbing tool kit, to go in with the rest. My friend called and wanted to go shooting. Since I did clean the mop and bucket, and will probably finish the plumbing, I feel that... given my condition, that is enough... at least for now. Perhaps, when I get home, I might finish the laundry and set the dishes to a hot soak, if the plumbing seems to be holding it's seal. Not too much should be done today, I have raking tomorrow. And sun acclimatization both today and tomorrow.
Absolutely pleased with how things are going, and how well I am staying on top of things. Hopefully, by next week, I will have the living room done. I mean right down to a steam cleaned carpets, sorted books, movies, and games, dusting, and windows. Then, maybe, the bedroom. With the sink back in shape, I can get caught back up on the dishes. That was languishing. I kept thinking the sink would be done very quickly, but something kept going wrong or coming up. I do hope this works. If not, I'll... figure something else out while I am at the hardware store. Bleh.
I best get a shower in, then get going. Later.
.
Neither healthy nor ill, not good or bad, not even all here. I did get to work on the plumbing. I used some old parts. Those won't work. I did find the new parts. There is just enough to possibly make it work, so I'll give it a shot right after this post. I did have to cut a couple of the pipes, which went smoothly. The part that didn't work in the old system does work in the new system. It is merely that the old seals around a slip joint, I hope, are what are failing. So I will put the new ones in. And, when I am in town, I will buy extra. There was just exactly enough when I went to town last time.
I'm not really going for the hardware. I don't think it will be needed, save to have extra for any problems that might occur. Extra parts for the plumbing tool kit, to go in with the rest. My friend called and wanted to go shooting. Since I did clean the mop and bucket, and will probably finish the plumbing, I feel that... given my condition, that is enough... at least for now. Perhaps, when I get home, I might finish the laundry and set the dishes to a hot soak, if the plumbing seems to be holding it's seal. Not too much should be done today, I have raking tomorrow. And sun acclimatization both today and tomorrow.
Absolutely pleased with how things are going, and how well I am staying on top of things. Hopefully, by next week, I will have the living room done. I mean right down to a steam cleaned carpets, sorted books, movies, and games, dusting, and windows. Then, maybe, the bedroom. With the sink back in shape, I can get caught back up on the dishes. That was languishing. I kept thinking the sink would be done very quickly, but something kept going wrong or coming up. I do hope this works. If not, I'll... figure something else out while I am at the hardware store. Bleh.
I best get a shower in, then get going. Later.
Two, perhaps counting differently, three things done.
.
.
The first thing(s) to be done, actually three if you count it all, was responding to emails. I received three... either last night after I had gone to bed or sometime this morning. Queries regarding participation in things I wish to participate in. However, receiving them so late, I had no chance to respond in the time given, which was past by the time I received. No worries. That is life, often enough. Still, I responded in the affirmative, but this time I put the events into my cell calendar. Hmm... when I kill my smartphone, I might need to find another device that works as such. It is handy, if I would rather not be spied upon through it's use. Further, I asked for the next meeting date, and when that arrives, will put that in my calendar too. If it is regular, which it should be, I'll then schedule it as such. I won't make all of the meetings, or help every time, but I would like to do something.
After that, a bathroom break. I realized it was cold this morning, down to 27 F. While that isn't truly cold, especially given the time of year, it is unusually cool for how things have been going. So I turned the furnace up just a smidgen on my way to the bathroom. I did my business, but realized I had not cleaned the mop. Now, recently, I bought good mops. Industrial type mops. Two handles and four heads, perhaps. Plus a real mop caddy. Which is fine, I like solid equipment. But, if I am going to lay out the extra loot for better equipment, I am required, by conscience, to tend these things. So I cleaned the mop and caddy, and set the mop to dry in the caddy, and will adjust it every few days until properly dried.
Those things sort of just got in my way. I'm not officially up to work quite yet. But the efforts do make me think that I might get to some other things yet today. And tomorrow I will be helping finish the raking. The front and other side are what is left. I may get out early, and remove the branches and twigs that have fallen, so that just raking is needed. And, before long, I might just have that bonfire I have mentioned. It won't work tomorrow. Perhaps I will ask my friend, and perhaps have him ask one of his friends, to come over for hot dogs and schmores to celebrate the burn. Nothing like a little company around a fire.
More coffee, perhaps a touch of reading, and then on to work. I do need to warm up just a bit anyway. Later.
.
The first thing(s) to be done, actually three if you count it all, was responding to emails. I received three... either last night after I had gone to bed or sometime this morning. Queries regarding participation in things I wish to participate in. However, receiving them so late, I had no chance to respond in the time given, which was past by the time I received. No worries. That is life, often enough. Still, I responded in the affirmative, but this time I put the events into my cell calendar. Hmm... when I kill my smartphone, I might need to find another device that works as such. It is handy, if I would rather not be spied upon through it's use. Further, I asked for the next meeting date, and when that arrives, will put that in my calendar too. If it is regular, which it should be, I'll then schedule it as such. I won't make all of the meetings, or help every time, but I would like to do something.
After that, a bathroom break. I realized it was cold this morning, down to 27 F. While that isn't truly cold, especially given the time of year, it is unusually cool for how things have been going. So I turned the furnace up just a smidgen on my way to the bathroom. I did my business, but realized I had not cleaned the mop. Now, recently, I bought good mops. Industrial type mops. Two handles and four heads, perhaps. Plus a real mop caddy. Which is fine, I like solid equipment. But, if I am going to lay out the extra loot for better equipment, I am required, by conscience, to tend these things. So I cleaned the mop and caddy, and set the mop to dry in the caddy, and will adjust it every few days until properly dried.
Those things sort of just got in my way. I'm not officially up to work quite yet. But the efforts do make me think that I might get to some other things yet today. And tomorrow I will be helping finish the raking. The front and other side are what is left. I may get out early, and remove the branches and twigs that have fallen, so that just raking is needed. And, before long, I might just have that bonfire I have mentioned. It won't work tomorrow. Perhaps I will ask my friend, and perhaps have him ask one of his friends, to come over for hot dogs and schmores to celebrate the burn. Nothing like a little company around a fire.
More coffee, perhaps a touch of reading, and then on to work. I do need to warm up just a bit anyway. Later.
Ah, awake.
.
.
I gave myself eight hours to sleep, but an half hour of round up, on top of an extra hour just because. Sometimes I know extra sleep will be needed. Sometimes I allow for it, sometimes I try to bull through. Both answers can be the correct one in specific situations. Knowing which one is best is a crapshoot, one I am not particularly good at. All I know is the house usually wins, definitely in the end. The problem is identifying the house. While that may seem easy enough, the truth beyond appearances is quite beyond our humble grasp. Sometimes even we are the house, if we align things correctly.
Drifting, aye. I didn't get a thing done yesterday, that I remember. Then again, I don't remember much. Not that there was a lot to remember... I think? I suppose I pushed too hard, for too many days, fumbling with medicine on top of that, and then daring the sun to beat me up... which it did. I may have a very slight sunburn. Sunburns release some kind of drug in my system, which act, I would have to guess, much like psychedelics, hallucinogens. If I do well, and get out in the sun often enough to tame the effect, I can then tolerate more with much less effect. But that takes a bit of time. It wasn't the only part of the problem, just a small little piece of it.
Still a bit floaty today. Don't know what will, or can happen. But I am pushing to get more work done. The drain, breaking down more boxes, cleaning the kitchen a bit better, then hitting the living room. Those are the immediate goals. I have enough variety that if one thing doesn't strike my fancy or call me to action, perhaps another thing will. I have to see the task, be in the right frame of mind when I see it to notice it, then have enough breath and gumption to hit it. It's less of a conscious effort, more like when, how, and why a trout strikes at a lure. Either it happens or it doesn't.
I should make breakfast this morning. I never did get to it yesterday. Eggs, I think I have just a bit more hashbrowns, and bacon. That should work. Food does help, but I have to be able to make it and eat it. I don't know if anything will happen, though things tend to build on each other. If I can start earlier, I can potentially though not necessarily, get more done. If I start later, potential is also reduced, though sometimes when I start I simply bulldoze through and get everything on the list plus interest. Likelihood, however, rests with the obvious.
My first focus is fixing the drain. If what I bought doesn't work, I may go back to town. I want that done, and right. The next plumbing effort will be to get the drain to work in the bathroom. Perhaps something is caught up in it. Or... something. "All I have to do"(tm) is pull the trap. I used quotes because quite often, when I go to do something simple it turns into something quite different from simple. I already know that getting the trap off will be a bit, to quite, complicated due to the traps partial positioning within the ceramic column base upon which the sink resides. Depending on how much room there actually is to swing a wrench will make it either a little to a lot more difficult than the simple notion itself might belie. But, that won't happen for a while. Hmm, and while I am doing that, I might change the gaskets in the shower faucet handles. An occasional drip tells me they need to be replaced. And, yes, I have the tools and gunk to do it... just not the experience, yet. And who knows what could go wrong.
On to... more waking up. Then perhaps the plumbing. And if that goes well, on to more cleaning. If it doesn't, I could always use a few more things from the store while I am in town. Always, innit? Later.
.
I gave myself eight hours to sleep, but an half hour of round up, on top of an extra hour just because. Sometimes I know extra sleep will be needed. Sometimes I allow for it, sometimes I try to bull through. Both answers can be the correct one in specific situations. Knowing which one is best is a crapshoot, one I am not particularly good at. All I know is the house usually wins, definitely in the end. The problem is identifying the house. While that may seem easy enough, the truth beyond appearances is quite beyond our humble grasp. Sometimes even we are the house, if we align things correctly.
Drifting, aye. I didn't get a thing done yesterday, that I remember. Then again, I don't remember much. Not that there was a lot to remember... I think? I suppose I pushed too hard, for too many days, fumbling with medicine on top of that, and then daring the sun to beat me up... which it did. I may have a very slight sunburn. Sunburns release some kind of drug in my system, which act, I would have to guess, much like psychedelics, hallucinogens. If I do well, and get out in the sun often enough to tame the effect, I can then tolerate more with much less effect. But that takes a bit of time. It wasn't the only part of the problem, just a small little piece of it.
Still a bit floaty today. Don't know what will, or can happen. But I am pushing to get more work done. The drain, breaking down more boxes, cleaning the kitchen a bit better, then hitting the living room. Those are the immediate goals. I have enough variety that if one thing doesn't strike my fancy or call me to action, perhaps another thing will. I have to see the task, be in the right frame of mind when I see it to notice it, then have enough breath and gumption to hit it. It's less of a conscious effort, more like when, how, and why a trout strikes at a lure. Either it happens or it doesn't.
I should make breakfast this morning. I never did get to it yesterday. Eggs, I think I have just a bit more hashbrowns, and bacon. That should work. Food does help, but I have to be able to make it and eat it. I don't know if anything will happen, though things tend to build on each other. If I can start earlier, I can potentially though not necessarily, get more done. If I start later, potential is also reduced, though sometimes when I start I simply bulldoze through and get everything on the list plus interest. Likelihood, however, rests with the obvious.
My first focus is fixing the drain. If what I bought doesn't work, I may go back to town. I want that done, and right. The next plumbing effort will be to get the drain to work in the bathroom. Perhaps something is caught up in it. Or... something. "All I have to do"(tm) is pull the trap. I used quotes because quite often, when I go to do something simple it turns into something quite different from simple. I already know that getting the trap off will be a bit, to quite, complicated due to the traps partial positioning within the ceramic column base upon which the sink resides. Depending on how much room there actually is to swing a wrench will make it either a little to a lot more difficult than the simple notion itself might belie. But, that won't happen for a while. Hmm, and while I am doing that, I might change the gaskets in the shower faucet handles. An occasional drip tells me they need to be replaced. And, yes, I have the tools and gunk to do it... just not the experience, yet. And who knows what could go wrong.
On to... more waking up. Then perhaps the plumbing. And if that goes well, on to more cleaning. If it doesn't, I could always use a few more things from the store while I am in town. Always, innit? Later.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Odd thoughts on an odd day.
.
.
The notion of the personification of War has crossed my mind today. Then something made me think of what other options there might be. While there are some serious problems with the video, it does offer a look at another set of shoes someone might wear. Given the givens, and considering what the other riders might do, I think War is the choice I would make. I hate biology, and hunger is worse than rage, definitely when it reaches the level of starvation. I have known each. Besides, war, when it is performed as it should be, has very little to do with rage. Actually, the worst rages come from having no choice, for the loss of innocence in self, and others, for death and carnage, not so much a thing to direct at the enemy. Raging at ourselves for our impotence to... find a better way. Well, and the truth that sometimes there really is not better way.
.
The notion of the personification of War has crossed my mind today. Then something made me think of what other options there might be. While there are some serious problems with the video, it does offer a look at another set of shoes someone might wear. Given the givens, and considering what the other riders might do, I think War is the choice I would make. I hate biology, and hunger is worse than rage, definitely when it reaches the level of starvation. I have known each. Besides, war, when it is performed as it should be, has very little to do with rage. Actually, the worst rages come from having no choice, for the loss of innocence in self, and others, for death and carnage, not so much a thing to direct at the enemy. Raging at ourselves for our impotence to... find a better way. Well, and the truth that sometimes there really is not better way.
A day of just, mostly, rest.
.
.
Even with pain pills, I think today is just not going to turn into a workday. I do feel a bit better, not enough better to do much. There are a few minor tasks I could do, might do. Putting up the laundry, most of which is folded. Perhaps running the wrinkled stuff through the dryer with a damp towel. Maybe a bit of policing in the living room. Not much, not for long, but some things might be done. I pushed a little too hard lately.
The microwave stand will not be in. The company sent it to the wrong address, after generating the incorrect address somehow. Then, sent the thing to a town in New Hampshire. When I called to figure things out, a UPS rep suggested that I just go right down and get it. I didn't bother explaining to this woman from, I am guessing, India, that NH is 2,000 and more miles away. Nor was I going to debate it. I bought the item on the premise that it would be delivered to my door and I expect no less. Sure, if local, I could pick it up. But that isn't what I paid to do. If they wish to be billed for the delivery, and my time (energy really) is precious, then so be it. Otherwise, I will see the package on my doorstep. New Hampshire pickup my ass. So, at least I don't have that sitting here, tempting me to overextend even more. Putting it together isn't a great expenditure, but it isn't minor either. It would draw on physical and intellectual, and on a day that finds me nearly bankrupt. And, I know I would have put it together if it had arrived. I want that done!
Actually, I may get to the plumbing today. That is just irritating me greatly, not having that finished. Well, and pushing might not be as bad as all that. Yeah, it'll hurt. Either I will grow into more capacity or break, or even die. Only one of which would be a terrible thing. Recovery is a bitch, or can be. Death and greater capacity are all... well... good enough. Plus, as I have mentioned, I am not lucky enough to die quite yet. Daring fate? Me? You haven't read here much, have you. Or you don't pay attention, or can't put two and two together. I can't tempt fate at this point. I am so far beyond it that I grin at the notion, laugh outright sometimes.
Hmm... I best get something to eat. Yogurt sounds too weak, bacon and eggs I think... and something else... I'll figure it out. I need real food this morning. Later.
.
Even with pain pills, I think today is just not going to turn into a workday. I do feel a bit better, not enough better to do much. There are a few minor tasks I could do, might do. Putting up the laundry, most of which is folded. Perhaps running the wrinkled stuff through the dryer with a damp towel. Maybe a bit of policing in the living room. Not much, not for long, but some things might be done. I pushed a little too hard lately.
The microwave stand will not be in. The company sent it to the wrong address, after generating the incorrect address somehow. Then, sent the thing to a town in New Hampshire. When I called to figure things out, a UPS rep suggested that I just go right down and get it. I didn't bother explaining to this woman from, I am guessing, India, that NH is 2,000 and more miles away. Nor was I going to debate it. I bought the item on the premise that it would be delivered to my door and I expect no less. Sure, if local, I could pick it up. But that isn't what I paid to do. If they wish to be billed for the delivery, and my time (energy really) is precious, then so be it. Otherwise, I will see the package on my doorstep. New Hampshire pickup my ass. So, at least I don't have that sitting here, tempting me to overextend even more. Putting it together isn't a great expenditure, but it isn't minor either. It would draw on physical and intellectual, and on a day that finds me nearly bankrupt. And, I know I would have put it together if it had arrived. I want that done!
Actually, I may get to the plumbing today. That is just irritating me greatly, not having that finished. Well, and pushing might not be as bad as all that. Yeah, it'll hurt. Either I will grow into more capacity or break, or even die. Only one of which would be a terrible thing. Recovery is a bitch, or can be. Death and greater capacity are all... well... good enough. Plus, as I have mentioned, I am not lucky enough to die quite yet. Daring fate? Me? You haven't read here much, have you. Or you don't pay attention, or can't put two and two together. I can't tempt fate at this point. I am so far beyond it that I grin at the notion, laugh outright sometimes.
Hmm... I best get something to eat. Yogurt sounds too weak, bacon and eggs I think... and something else... I'll figure it out. I need real food this morning. Later.
That smarts.
.
.
I pushed a little hard recently. It is paying off. I went to bed slightly before 17:00. I woke, initially, at about 2:40. That hurt, a lot. So I went back to bed, sort of tagging the pain while I slept, trying to sleep as much of it off as possible. The tagging time out, meaning I ended going back to full sleep at some point, then woke at about 7:00. It still hurt, but not as badly. The pain is going away on it's own, to a degree. As long as I don't move around too much. Yeah, painkillers. Anacin seems to work well when I push. Especially when I still have things to do. I may take the weekend off, mostly. But that means another day or two of work, as I may.
I don't know if plumbing will be the first thing, though that is the plan. Getting down on knees, tinkering, and such, seems like an awfully push for a first job. I might just finish the laundry as a starter, and maybe find another less demanding chore beside that to start the day off. I have a fresh pot of coffee going, and might figure out something easy and soft to eat... one of the yogurts mixed with granola I suppose. The waffle batter was supposed to make 12 waffles. Perhaps on a smaller waffle iron, but not on the one I have. It made five waffles, pushing it at that. While the batter was okay, for my tastes and nature, I am going to look for other recipes to try next time. Maybe buckwheat, or partial whole wheat, or something. Something a bit more dense, with perhaps a bit more tooth, and with carbs that burn a bit slower. Tasty enough, I guess. Just... from a digestive thing I believe I want a bit more.
Actually, I have something planned for Saturday. I missed the things I had planned for Tuesday, I think. I'll keep trying on that. It seems that no mater how I plan things, I am easily distracted. I forget. I'll keep trying. I do like to do what I plan, or it needs to be done, or I wouldn't include it. I am simply somewhat limited in making things happen, especially in a timely way on top of it. I'll... keep trying. I am sure I will get back to it. As I said though, as health improves, I end up doing more. In doing more, in some ways, I end up seeming to do less, in ways. Just how much I can actually end up doing is anyone's guess. I am already amazed at what I have been doing while also beginning to believe I can do much more even so.
I also can't believe that in mid February that I am conspiring with others to rake my lawn! I actually figured out what got me, in part, raking out front. The sun. I haven't been in full naked sunlight for a while. I have to acclimate to that, over time. It ate my mojo! It ate it quickly. Although, with a trip in May coming up, I best get reacquainted with the sun again. I don't want to be a drag, there, again. I will be, to some degree, just because of the heart. But I think I can be more ready. Perhaps taking walks a few times each week, on sunny days, might be the way to go. And opening the curtains.
Oh, something else I purchased was headsets in the hope that I can get back to the piano. I really would enjoy speakers for the thing, but I honestly don't know what to get. I'm sure there is a shop around, where I could ask, perhaps even try a couple of amps or speakers or such. The piano is a really good way to relax, or work the mind and spirit. If I get back to it well enough, I might even consider lessons again. In time. I have so much on my plate right now that I just don't quite have what it takes to even begin checking that. It is just one more thing ready to go, like the shop, tools, and such. Opportunity is being created. My ability to function is being sharpened. And my capacity to more function is being expanded. It does take time to hoist one's self out of the grave, then onto one's feet, and then more. It is happening. Later.
.
I pushed a little hard recently. It is paying off. I went to bed slightly before 17:00. I woke, initially, at about 2:40. That hurt, a lot. So I went back to bed, sort of tagging the pain while I slept, trying to sleep as much of it off as possible. The tagging time out, meaning I ended going back to full sleep at some point, then woke at about 7:00. It still hurt, but not as badly. The pain is going away on it's own, to a degree. As long as I don't move around too much. Yeah, painkillers. Anacin seems to work well when I push. Especially when I still have things to do. I may take the weekend off, mostly. But that means another day or two of work, as I may.
I don't know if plumbing will be the first thing, though that is the plan. Getting down on knees, tinkering, and such, seems like an awfully push for a first job. I might just finish the laundry as a starter, and maybe find another less demanding chore beside that to start the day off. I have a fresh pot of coffee going, and might figure out something easy and soft to eat... one of the yogurts mixed with granola I suppose. The waffle batter was supposed to make 12 waffles. Perhaps on a smaller waffle iron, but not on the one I have. It made five waffles, pushing it at that. While the batter was okay, for my tastes and nature, I am going to look for other recipes to try next time. Maybe buckwheat, or partial whole wheat, or something. Something a bit more dense, with perhaps a bit more tooth, and with carbs that burn a bit slower. Tasty enough, I guess. Just... from a digestive thing I believe I want a bit more.
Actually, I have something planned for Saturday. I missed the things I had planned for Tuesday, I think. I'll keep trying on that. It seems that no mater how I plan things, I am easily distracted. I forget. I'll keep trying. I do like to do what I plan, or it needs to be done, or I wouldn't include it. I am simply somewhat limited in making things happen, especially in a timely way on top of it. I'll... keep trying. I am sure I will get back to it. As I said though, as health improves, I end up doing more. In doing more, in some ways, I end up seeming to do less, in ways. Just how much I can actually end up doing is anyone's guess. I am already amazed at what I have been doing while also beginning to believe I can do much more even so.
I also can't believe that in mid February that I am conspiring with others to rake my lawn! I actually figured out what got me, in part, raking out front. The sun. I haven't been in full naked sunlight for a while. I have to acclimate to that, over time. It ate my mojo! It ate it quickly. Although, with a trip in May coming up, I best get reacquainted with the sun again. I don't want to be a drag, there, again. I will be, to some degree, just because of the heart. But I think I can be more ready. Perhaps taking walks a few times each week, on sunny days, might be the way to go. And opening the curtains.
Oh, something else I purchased was headsets in the hope that I can get back to the piano. I really would enjoy speakers for the thing, but I honestly don't know what to get. I'm sure there is a shop around, where I could ask, perhaps even try a couple of amps or speakers or such. The piano is a really good way to relax, or work the mind and spirit. If I get back to it well enough, I might even consider lessons again. In time. I have so much on my plate right now that I just don't quite have what it takes to even begin checking that. It is just one more thing ready to go, like the shop, tools, and such. Opportunity is being created. My ability to function is being sharpened. And my capacity to more function is being expanded. It does take time to hoist one's self out of the grave, then onto one's feet, and then more. It is happening. Later.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Not going to get to the plumbing.
.
.
I did reset the kitchen and bathroom. The plumbing... that would take a good deal of up and down, kneeling, tinkering, and such. My mind isn't really able to be brought to focus and my body has let me know that I best leave it alone for a while. When both aspects agree on something, I usually go with it. There are times when that just isn't possible, and I have to push... no always successfully. As a general rule, though, when those two bark at the same time, I will give way. Especially as much work as they have been doing.
It isn't just work, either. I have been continuing to read. I have been playing a game on the side. I have been ordering things to maintain my home. I have been keeping up on business, visiting my friend, calling family. Woven throughout work has been play, social, business, entertainment, and many other parts of life. It is absolutely amazing. I even pushed my schedule back to 'people time'. Oh, and while I did fall of medicine, and trip up there a bit, I got back to it. As quickly as I realized, and then could. Just not bad. It's almost a part of a a real life.
Yes, I do expect a lot out of life. To get a lot out of life, you have to put a lot into the effort. Nothing is free. As I see things, I have gone beyond the bounds of my health. I am stretching what I thought possible in ways I didn't think were possible. I think I might even push further. There will always be ups and downs. More so for me than for most. But the downs have been quite small, lately. I know I do have some real limitations. I will never again be a real little boy. But I may not have to be quite so terribly cloistered, as I am proving.
I am just pleased with what all has been happening. And while I can't get to everything, exactly when planned for sure, I am getting to it in due time. Then again, I am terrible about knowing how long something will take, or how much it might take out of me or cost. All very good. Good night.
.
I did reset the kitchen and bathroom. The plumbing... that would take a good deal of up and down, kneeling, tinkering, and such. My mind isn't really able to be brought to focus and my body has let me know that I best leave it alone for a while. When both aspects agree on something, I usually go with it. There are times when that just isn't possible, and I have to push... no always successfully. As a general rule, though, when those two bark at the same time, I will give way. Especially as much work as they have been doing.
It isn't just work, either. I have been continuing to read. I have been playing a game on the side. I have been ordering things to maintain my home. I have been keeping up on business, visiting my friend, calling family. Woven throughout work has been play, social, business, entertainment, and many other parts of life. It is absolutely amazing. I even pushed my schedule back to 'people time'. Oh, and while I did fall of medicine, and trip up there a bit, I got back to it. As quickly as I realized, and then could. Just not bad. It's almost a part of a a real life.
Yes, I do expect a lot out of life. To get a lot out of life, you have to put a lot into the effort. Nothing is free. As I see things, I have gone beyond the bounds of my health. I am stretching what I thought possible in ways I didn't think were possible. I think I might even push further. There will always be ups and downs. More so for me than for most. But the downs have been quite small, lately. I know I do have some real limitations. I will never again be a real little boy. But I may not have to be quite so terribly cloistered, as I am proving.
I am just pleased with what all has been happening. And while I can't get to everything, exactly when planned for sure, I am getting to it in due time. Then again, I am terrible about knowing how long something will take, or how much it might take out of me or cost. All very good. Good night.
Yes, quite a day.
.
.
I thought I had handled the boxes. Then I found boxes, and more boxes, an then some more. I finally just reached my cutoff for boxes, sorting them, dealing with them. I put what I was going to keep where I am keeping them. The rest went onto the freezer. They will be broken down when I get to it! With the floor mostly clear, I first vacuumed the rug in the little cove off the kitchen. Then I swept where the cat litter boxes usually set, and the rest of the kitchen and bathroom. Finally I mopped the floors, Actually, I cleaned the bathroom first, mostly. I know I did a few other little things, an moved chairs onto the rug so as to have easy access. Then a bit of a rest.
At 14:00, a pair of helpers showed up to help with the raking. The back yard, and the driveway sideyard is done. Raked, bagged, and what will fit in the trash bin while leaving enough room for any potential trash has been tossed. Oh, and with the twigs, I created a burn pile out back. I might have to invite my friend, and someone else, over for a little burn party. Hot dogs, marshmallows, perhaps the whole schmores thing. Can't burn leaves, but can burn wood... for now.
The only other things I want to do yet today is to repair, or attempt to repair, the plumbing under the sink, put the furniture back in the kitchen and bathroom, and maybe take a shower. Quite a lot of work today, really. I am very pleased, if tuckered out. Hmm, oh, but I ought to fix something for dinner. It is just about that time. One more thing, we have set up an appointment to finish the raking. With that done, my next job out there will be to plant seed and set up the hoses. I think I need new sprinklers, they don't last long. But I won't be putting those out until I am sure the last frost has come and gone. I don't think I will sew seeds, either, until after that point. But I can begin looking for seed, and new sprinklers. I can be ready.
I really am hitting a solid stride. I need breaks, I fall from time to time for various reasons, and it doesn't always work, or easily, or quickly. But, yeah... I am very pleased with how things are going. I don't even need help on everything, every time, either. I suppose I should take a break, then see what I can do? Nah, I'll set the bathroom and kitchen back up first, then take a break. Those will be easy chores.
Tomorrow? Depends on how things work out. I am hoping to finish the kitchen. Oh, and the microwave cart should be in. So putting that together, organizing the microwave, food processor, waffle iron, and several other sundry to fully utilize the space, then figuring out where to keep it, will be on the list. That will really open some counter space. Then to just figure out how to clear the rest of it, while cleaning. All good. We'll see, but that is the plan. After that, the living room. Then, as I suggested, I will re-evaluate goals, plans, possibilities... You know what? After that, I may see about a place to go for a few days of mini-vacation. Some park, some minor resort type town if based on a more natural setting... a hikers town or such. Camping would be a bit much for a mini-vacation, in the middle of work. Yes, I think I will begin looking for a place to take some time off. No more than a day's drive, two or three nights lodging, some food for the road, some eating out. Yes indeed. That will clear my mind and allow me to figure what to do next.
Probably just move on to my bedroom. I want that clean before I begin tearing into a new bathroom build. Though perhaps working on the sub-panel might be the next task. I just don't quite know yet. I just know that whatever I plan, I can probably do. Perhaps not as quickly as I might have thought, money is always a tricky thing, time and energy and health all play a roll. I just know, now, that I will get it done. Know. I also know I am hungry and want to do a few things before I eat. So, I best get going.
Later.
.
I thought I had handled the boxes. Then I found boxes, and more boxes, an then some more. I finally just reached my cutoff for boxes, sorting them, dealing with them. I put what I was going to keep where I am keeping them. The rest went onto the freezer. They will be broken down when I get to it! With the floor mostly clear, I first vacuumed the rug in the little cove off the kitchen. Then I swept where the cat litter boxes usually set, and the rest of the kitchen and bathroom. Finally I mopped the floors, Actually, I cleaned the bathroom first, mostly. I know I did a few other little things, an moved chairs onto the rug so as to have easy access. Then a bit of a rest.
At 14:00, a pair of helpers showed up to help with the raking. The back yard, and the driveway sideyard is done. Raked, bagged, and what will fit in the trash bin while leaving enough room for any potential trash has been tossed. Oh, and with the twigs, I created a burn pile out back. I might have to invite my friend, and someone else, over for a little burn party. Hot dogs, marshmallows, perhaps the whole schmores thing. Can't burn leaves, but can burn wood... for now.
The only other things I want to do yet today is to repair, or attempt to repair, the plumbing under the sink, put the furniture back in the kitchen and bathroom, and maybe take a shower. Quite a lot of work today, really. I am very pleased, if tuckered out. Hmm, oh, but I ought to fix something for dinner. It is just about that time. One more thing, we have set up an appointment to finish the raking. With that done, my next job out there will be to plant seed and set up the hoses. I think I need new sprinklers, they don't last long. But I won't be putting those out until I am sure the last frost has come and gone. I don't think I will sew seeds, either, until after that point. But I can begin looking for seed, and new sprinklers. I can be ready.
I really am hitting a solid stride. I need breaks, I fall from time to time for various reasons, and it doesn't always work, or easily, or quickly. But, yeah... I am very pleased with how things are going. I don't even need help on everything, every time, either. I suppose I should take a break, then see what I can do? Nah, I'll set the bathroom and kitchen back up first, then take a break. Those will be easy chores.
Tomorrow? Depends on how things work out. I am hoping to finish the kitchen. Oh, and the microwave cart should be in. So putting that together, organizing the microwave, food processor, waffle iron, and several other sundry to fully utilize the space, then figuring out where to keep it, will be on the list. That will really open some counter space. Then to just figure out how to clear the rest of it, while cleaning. All good. We'll see, but that is the plan. After that, the living room. Then, as I suggested, I will re-evaluate goals, plans, possibilities... You know what? After that, I may see about a place to go for a few days of mini-vacation. Some park, some minor resort type town if based on a more natural setting... a hikers town or such. Camping would be a bit much for a mini-vacation, in the middle of work. Yes, I think I will begin looking for a place to take some time off. No more than a day's drive, two or three nights lodging, some food for the road, some eating out. Yes indeed. That will clear my mind and allow me to figure what to do next.
Probably just move on to my bedroom. I want that clean before I begin tearing into a new bathroom build. Though perhaps working on the sub-panel might be the next task. I just don't quite know yet. I just know that whatever I plan, I can probably do. Perhaps not as quickly as I might have thought, money is always a tricky thing, time and energy and health all play a roll. I just know, now, that I will get it done. Know. I also know I am hungry and want to do a few things before I eat. So, I best get going.
Later.
A long sleep.
.
.
I was up rather late yesterday, all else given. I pushed into early evening, a necessary thing to reset the schedule. And I slept very long. I needed it. I am just about used to medicine again, but the clouds and darkness plus chasing the day itself, along with efforts, are very heavy taxes. All good. Unto each, render the coin of the realm. So it is. Not terribly awake, but not all that sleepy or weary. I like slowly drifting to wakefulness, when I can. But the mind, today, is quite good. Sharp, at least as focus goes.
With the kitchen floor open, I can sweep, and mop, the kitchen and bathroom today. I will also work on the plumbing under the sink. If that works, I will be quite satisfied. If it doesn't work, I may have to make another trip into town. I want that damned thing done. It's been a pox on my home for far too long. I may be doing raking today, as well. It's a bit chill, but that is a good day to work outdoors. As well, I might get the wood pile out back moved to where it can burn, and get that going. And, I do believe, I will finish with the laundry today. That should clear up things well enough to move on to the final kitchen cleaning tomorrow, along with the beginning of the living room cleanup. I doubt if the living room will be finished this week, as I had hoped, but the slow steady progress is good enough to satisfy my intent. It just takes longer, and things come up besides this and that.
I was thinking about one of the songs I played the other day. I understand that some people do not know how to interpret some things. The opening scene, and another scene, appear to point to the Mormon church. And, for the viewer and reader, since many are LDS, that makes perfect sense. But that wasn't the point. That would merely be them thinking I was putting myself in their shoes, rather than the other way around. Hrm, you ask? Well... When I was running, it was from, in part, "church". The vid only makes sense if you think of the runner as being you, and what you consider the term "church" to be. For me, my church is the Catholic church. Even though not raised Catholic, as I started becoming aware of my faith, and called to it, that is what it meant to me. And that is what I ran from. Not your church, or another's church. I understand, it is difficult to interpret a seer, especially when he uses a video not made exactly to his specs. Did you ever run from your church? If so, that is how you should understand it. If, for example, I say "snack"... what does that mean for you? Chips? A candy bar? Pieces of fruit? Right, well, for me it means salami, cheese, and maybe crackers. Difficult to explain, exactly. Just, take no offense unless you want to do so. If you do, your problem. As to what all that meant, and such, as I said, do not worry. Not really for you.
Oh, but to be honest? If you don't have a very healthy respectful fear of your church? Either your church or you, or both, are gravely mistaken.
Well, on to waking. Hmm, there is that one kink on the left side, where my shoulder and neck meet. Doing head and neck rolls to work that out while I wake should loosen and dissolve that. For now, it's a guilty little pleasure from back in the day when pain was a sought device for my guilts and pleasures. Later.
.
I was up rather late yesterday, all else given. I pushed into early evening, a necessary thing to reset the schedule. And I slept very long. I needed it. I am just about used to medicine again, but the clouds and darkness plus chasing the day itself, along with efforts, are very heavy taxes. All good. Unto each, render the coin of the realm. So it is. Not terribly awake, but not all that sleepy or weary. I like slowly drifting to wakefulness, when I can. But the mind, today, is quite good. Sharp, at least as focus goes.
With the kitchen floor open, I can sweep, and mop, the kitchen and bathroom today. I will also work on the plumbing under the sink. If that works, I will be quite satisfied. If it doesn't work, I may have to make another trip into town. I want that damned thing done. It's been a pox on my home for far too long. I may be doing raking today, as well. It's a bit chill, but that is a good day to work outdoors. As well, I might get the wood pile out back moved to where it can burn, and get that going. And, I do believe, I will finish with the laundry today. That should clear up things well enough to move on to the final kitchen cleaning tomorrow, along with the beginning of the living room cleanup. I doubt if the living room will be finished this week, as I had hoped, but the slow steady progress is good enough to satisfy my intent. It just takes longer, and things come up besides this and that.
I was thinking about one of the songs I played the other day. I understand that some people do not know how to interpret some things. The opening scene, and another scene, appear to point to the Mormon church. And, for the viewer and reader, since many are LDS, that makes perfect sense. But that wasn't the point. That would merely be them thinking I was putting myself in their shoes, rather than the other way around. Hrm, you ask? Well... When I was running, it was from, in part, "church". The vid only makes sense if you think of the runner as being you, and what you consider the term "church" to be. For me, my church is the Catholic church. Even though not raised Catholic, as I started becoming aware of my faith, and called to it, that is what it meant to me. And that is what I ran from. Not your church, or another's church. I understand, it is difficult to interpret a seer, especially when he uses a video not made exactly to his specs. Did you ever run from your church? If so, that is how you should understand it. If, for example, I say "snack"... what does that mean for you? Chips? A candy bar? Pieces of fruit? Right, well, for me it means salami, cheese, and maybe crackers. Difficult to explain, exactly. Just, take no offense unless you want to do so. If you do, your problem. As to what all that meant, and such, as I said, do not worry. Not really for you.
Oh, but to be honest? If you don't have a very healthy respectful fear of your church? Either your church or you, or both, are gravely mistaken.
Well, on to waking. Hmm, there is that one kink on the left side, where my shoulder and neck meet. Doing head and neck rolls to work that out while I wake should loosen and dissolve that. For now, it's a guilty little pleasure from back in the day when pain was a sought device for my guilts and pleasures. Later.
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Slogging, but got to some of it.
.
.
With shooting scheduled, I knew I wasn't going to get to my whole list. I didn't want to push. It was a bit rough anyway. I am still fighting for a day schedule, so that was and addition. I folded all of the laundry, but it still has to be put away. And I might through the two pair of pants and one shirt back into the drier with a damp dish towel to get some of the wrinkles out. I also tended most of the boxes. There were more than I thought. I moved what I am keeping to a storage area, and put the ones I will be breaking down on top of the freezer. Empty, they won't be a problem there. Plus, since I like getting into the freezer rather often, there is great incentive to break them down.
The goal tomorrow, first thing when I can work up to doing anything, will be to sweep the now clear floors, then mop. As well, I found the parts I need to repair the sink. I honestly hope this takes care of any and all leaks. I did ask about the planks I want, but the hardware store I was in didn't carry those. They did offer the name of a lumberyard which might carry such. I'll see what I see, I suppose. Then again, the store I was in couldn't plain them, so it is better this way. It is an unusual thing. I may actually have to go with 4x6's, have them plain them, and then glue and/or otherwise connect them so as to make 4x12's. I'm not sure about length. I'll be measuring before I call. I might as well figure out what I want for both under the television and in the bathroom, as I plan on the same type of arrangement for each. Strange, to some, I suppose. But minimalist and yet... to me... architecturally interesting. Plus, then I could add that share wash basin I want. Yeah, yeah, hush.
I'm still a bit on the ropes. Not sure it is medicine now, though. Most likely it is the weather. No sun, or not much, for a while now. Sometimes you just have to slog from one swamp to the next marsh on through a moor, as long as it takes, to finally reach solid ground. It's just the way it goes. I don't mind, really, just saying that is the way it is for now. But it isn't completely stopping me, either. Just a bit of a slow down. One I probably needed anyway. Trying to run a body as if it were young and conditioned is bound to go south from time to time. Still, I keep dancing on my grave with great gusto, at least I think I am. Given the givens. And enjoying. Try it some time. Thought might I suggest you not fill your coffin first. That's the hard way. :)
Later... or good night (night).
.
With shooting scheduled, I knew I wasn't going to get to my whole list. I didn't want to push. It was a bit rough anyway. I am still fighting for a day schedule, so that was and addition. I folded all of the laundry, but it still has to be put away. And I might through the two pair of pants and one shirt back into the drier with a damp dish towel to get some of the wrinkles out. I also tended most of the boxes. There were more than I thought. I moved what I am keeping to a storage area, and put the ones I will be breaking down on top of the freezer. Empty, they won't be a problem there. Plus, since I like getting into the freezer rather often, there is great incentive to break them down.
The goal tomorrow, first thing when I can work up to doing anything, will be to sweep the now clear floors, then mop. As well, I found the parts I need to repair the sink. I honestly hope this takes care of any and all leaks. I did ask about the planks I want, but the hardware store I was in didn't carry those. They did offer the name of a lumberyard which might carry such. I'll see what I see, I suppose. Then again, the store I was in couldn't plain them, so it is better this way. It is an unusual thing. I may actually have to go with 4x6's, have them plain them, and then glue and/or otherwise connect them so as to make 4x12's. I'm not sure about length. I'll be measuring before I call. I might as well figure out what I want for both under the television and in the bathroom, as I plan on the same type of arrangement for each. Strange, to some, I suppose. But minimalist and yet... to me... architecturally interesting. Plus, then I could add that share wash basin I want. Yeah, yeah, hush.
I'm still a bit on the ropes. Not sure it is medicine now, though. Most likely it is the weather. No sun, or not much, for a while now. Sometimes you just have to slog from one swamp to the next marsh on through a moor, as long as it takes, to finally reach solid ground. It's just the way it goes. I don't mind, really, just saying that is the way it is for now. But it isn't completely stopping me, either. Just a bit of a slow down. One I probably needed anyway. Trying to run a body as if it were young and conditioned is bound to go south from time to time. Still, I keep dancing on my grave with great gusto, at least I think I am. Given the givens. And enjoying. Try it some time. Thought might I suggest you not fill your coffin first. That's the hard way. :)
Later... or good night (night).
Just about right, with the waffles.
.
.
Another 3/4 cup of milk and the batter was easy enough to scoop and pour into the griddle. I put in a little less than optimal on one side, and yet it was rather good. And the beeps are difficult to hear. Still, they came out quite well. A little practice and this thing will work just fine. I will probably only have waffles a few times a month, but it is a very nice add. I would like, in time, to learn to make pancakes, but that will wait. One thing at a time. With eggs, waffles, yogurts of several sorts, dry grain cereals to add to yogurt, I have a variety for breakfasts. If I can figure out omelets, then pancakes, I'll be pretty set. Add in hot cereals, real whole type grain stuff, for cold weather, and I may start eating a regular meal in the morning. Yes, it does help. Slow burn stuff, that lasts, is the way to go. So, probably next thing, I need to work up some whole grain type recipes for the waffle iron. Not so much whole wheat, but other grains.
Of course, four waffles is seeing me to being stuffed. I'll have to edge my way past that. Then again, two large "cups" of milk played their part. I'll have to sit for a good half hour to hour before I can mess with much. Boxes, first, I believe. Then laundry if that took it out of me. Then sweeping. I don't know if I will get much past that before it is time to take a shower and then head to town. Life is really turning up, even with the local to time irregularities. I am making things happen, doing them, sorting, figuring, working, and playing. No where near what a normal human can do, I suppose. Certainly not even close to what I used to do. But it is much more than I would have though possible even five years ago. Trips, to home tech, to computer tech, to photography, to... all the things I used to do, if not as deeply. It's the more physical aspect of function that still needs attention. But I do have plans for even that in the works.
There is one thing that does annoy me, something I plan to begin researching. In the big bathroom, there is no real place for some things, like the plunger, cleaning materials, and such. Oh, sure, there is a shelving, both deep and thin. And there are drawers. But there is no place for the gunk of maintenance and cleaning. The places that exist will serve, just not correctly to my mind. So I am considering some type of bureau in that bathroom. The sink is on a pedestal, so there is no underneath closed area for these things. It just doesn't suit my sensibilities. Yes, yes, I can suffer through. It's just that, if I don't have to, I won't. And... I don't have to. So... I will begin looking. Something else I realize is that when I install shelving instead of cabinets in the en suite, I will have the same problem. So... I might, when I get to that, shorten the board shelves, or the lower line, so as to be able to put something as such in there. Perhaps putting a hamper on top. Not sure, but something I realize I like and would miss, so it can be a part of the planning rather than an afterthought.
I'll probably game a bit, to try to relieve that overfull sensation. Later.
.
Another 3/4 cup of milk and the batter was easy enough to scoop and pour into the griddle. I put in a little less than optimal on one side, and yet it was rather good. And the beeps are difficult to hear. Still, they came out quite well. A little practice and this thing will work just fine. I will probably only have waffles a few times a month, but it is a very nice add. I would like, in time, to learn to make pancakes, but that will wait. One thing at a time. With eggs, waffles, yogurts of several sorts, dry grain cereals to add to yogurt, I have a variety for breakfasts. If I can figure out omelets, then pancakes, I'll be pretty set. Add in hot cereals, real whole type grain stuff, for cold weather, and I may start eating a regular meal in the morning. Yes, it does help. Slow burn stuff, that lasts, is the way to go. So, probably next thing, I need to work up some whole grain type recipes for the waffle iron. Not so much whole wheat, but other grains.
Of course, four waffles is seeing me to being stuffed. I'll have to edge my way past that. Then again, two large "cups" of milk played their part. I'll have to sit for a good half hour to hour before I can mess with much. Boxes, first, I believe. Then laundry if that took it out of me. Then sweeping. I don't know if I will get much past that before it is time to take a shower and then head to town. Life is really turning up, even with the local to time irregularities. I am making things happen, doing them, sorting, figuring, working, and playing. No where near what a normal human can do, I suppose. Certainly not even close to what I used to do. But it is much more than I would have though possible even five years ago. Trips, to home tech, to computer tech, to photography, to... all the things I used to do, if not as deeply. It's the more physical aspect of function that still needs attention. But I do have plans for even that in the works.
There is one thing that does annoy me, something I plan to begin researching. In the big bathroom, there is no real place for some things, like the plunger, cleaning materials, and such. Oh, sure, there is a shelving, both deep and thin. And there are drawers. But there is no place for the gunk of maintenance and cleaning. The places that exist will serve, just not correctly to my mind. So I am considering some type of bureau in that bathroom. The sink is on a pedestal, so there is no underneath closed area for these things. It just doesn't suit my sensibilities. Yes, yes, I can suffer through. It's just that, if I don't have to, I won't. And... I don't have to. So... I will begin looking. Something else I realize is that when I install shelving instead of cabinets in the en suite, I will have the same problem. So... I might, when I get to that, shorten the board shelves, or the lower line, so as to be able to put something as such in there. Perhaps putting a hamper on top. Not sure, but something I realize I like and would miss, so it can be a part of the planning rather than an afterthought.
I'll probably game a bit, to try to relieve that overfull sensation. Later.
Tinkering with sleep, back on medicines.
.
.
I am just not going to lead a perfect life. Ups and downs. Sometimes my fault, sometimes things just happen, sometimes someone else's fault, sometimes nobody's fault, though fault is a very tenuous word in a very serious way. If it is my fault, just how much can always be expected of me, same with other people. Things go wrong, live with it. If you realize things have gone wrong, try, at that point, to correct them. Pick up, carry on, don't worry about the rest. Only if someone does something with intent. If they are faithful people, go to them. Even if they aren't, but you have some notion that they attempt to be rational, go to them. Start there. We all make mistakes. Given a chance, I am amazed at how many people will try to make it right. If all that fails, either cut your losses, or if that is too big of a cookie to chew or the wrong was too severe, then choose to litigate or otherwise seek reparations or some sort of settlement.
I do have to forgive. That includes myself. Sometimes I do get stubborn with regards to medicine, or life in general. My heart hardens, or I forget or otherwise fail. When I can see, and when I have the option to make it right I do. But I must forgive, even myself. How could I forgive another if I did not know how to forgive myself? Actually, that was one of the tricks that was most difficult for me to learn. It starts at home, I knew that, I thought there were other ways. There aren't. And, so, while things did get messy, I have learned to forgive, and forget really too, on some things... unless it's a learning moment.
I have been tinkering with sleep to get back to days. I think I am roughly there. It might take some time to smooth out. It might even fail, and I might have to take off and come back for a better approach. Trying again. But I think it will work this time. I am a bit tired from the attempt, from being off medicines for that bit, and then from working hard. Yet I think I can get back to things fairly quickly.
I did finish the pancake batter this morning, then made a couple of them. While they are okay, I think the recipe was a bit stingy on fluids. I'll add another half cup of milk, then maybe a quarter cup if that isn't enough. The waffles came out just fine, even so, just not fully filling the platter, so not as complete. Just a cosmetic thing, but who doesn't like things to look right? They were tasty. Butter and maple syrup. Fortunately or not, I am slightly allergic to artificial maple syrups, so I must use the real kind. I get a catch in my throat that lasts for hours if I use the mixed stuff... it's, oddly, the same reaction I get from the spice curry. With curry, I used to think it was because they ground it too fine. Now I think my body just doesn't tolerate the stuff. Even in a stew or vegetables, or anything. To be honest, taste wise, I don't think there is much difference between real and mixed syrup. And, yeah, I buy the better syrups, and have tried several brands. So... it's just an expense without much difference in flavor. Hmm... corn syrup is probably cheaper too, and I do like that. Anyway...
I am hoping, today, to do some of that work I have on my list. Finishing laundry, relocating the boxes and perhaps breaking the new boxes down, hitting the floors, finishing the bathroom cleaning... Some or all of that. But today is a shooting day. I am thinking I will take a pistol, and maybe the lever .22. It's been a while. It would be nice to cast lead the easy way. Out, hopefully, to the range by noon, maybe 11:00. An hour there, then lunch, then home. I've been napping in early afternoon to manage my schedule change. Might try to push through, but if I do much here at home, plus go shooting, a nap might be mandatory. Hard to tell.
I did tear into the sink plumbing. What a mess. I think I see what would make it work. Actually I will buy several. I need at least one over pipe locking link. There is one in there, but I need another from the pipe coming down from after the 'y', the single pipe down, and where that connects to the trap. If it doesn't make sense, don't worry, I do know what I need now. Actually, I could have missed it. While it is used on another part of the plumbing, it would have been easy to miss. With that in place, the plumbing should work like a charm. Wouldn't have worked with the old trap though. The diameter of the upper part was too small. Very odd. Yes, perhaps I should try to be in by 10:00 to 10:30, so I can grab that before stopping at my friend's place.
Well, I suppose, I ought to have another cup of coffee, figure out waking, and then get to a few things before it is time to shower and go. Good day (day). Just for you, foam. :p Later.
.
I am just not going to lead a perfect life. Ups and downs. Sometimes my fault, sometimes things just happen, sometimes someone else's fault, sometimes nobody's fault, though fault is a very tenuous word in a very serious way. If it is my fault, just how much can always be expected of me, same with other people. Things go wrong, live with it. If you realize things have gone wrong, try, at that point, to correct them. Pick up, carry on, don't worry about the rest. Only if someone does something with intent. If they are faithful people, go to them. Even if they aren't, but you have some notion that they attempt to be rational, go to them. Start there. We all make mistakes. Given a chance, I am amazed at how many people will try to make it right. If all that fails, either cut your losses, or if that is too big of a cookie to chew or the wrong was too severe, then choose to litigate or otherwise seek reparations or some sort of settlement.
I do have to forgive. That includes myself. Sometimes I do get stubborn with regards to medicine, or life in general. My heart hardens, or I forget or otherwise fail. When I can see, and when I have the option to make it right I do. But I must forgive, even myself. How could I forgive another if I did not know how to forgive myself? Actually, that was one of the tricks that was most difficult for me to learn. It starts at home, I knew that, I thought there were other ways. There aren't. And, so, while things did get messy, I have learned to forgive, and forget really too, on some things... unless it's a learning moment.
I have been tinkering with sleep to get back to days. I think I am roughly there. It might take some time to smooth out. It might even fail, and I might have to take off and come back for a better approach. Trying again. But I think it will work this time. I am a bit tired from the attempt, from being off medicines for that bit, and then from working hard. Yet I think I can get back to things fairly quickly.
I did finish the pancake batter this morning, then made a couple of them. While they are okay, I think the recipe was a bit stingy on fluids. I'll add another half cup of milk, then maybe a quarter cup if that isn't enough. The waffles came out just fine, even so, just not fully filling the platter, so not as complete. Just a cosmetic thing, but who doesn't like things to look right? They were tasty. Butter and maple syrup. Fortunately or not, I am slightly allergic to artificial maple syrups, so I must use the real kind. I get a catch in my throat that lasts for hours if I use the mixed stuff... it's, oddly, the same reaction I get from the spice curry. With curry, I used to think it was because they ground it too fine. Now I think my body just doesn't tolerate the stuff. Even in a stew or vegetables, or anything. To be honest, taste wise, I don't think there is much difference between real and mixed syrup. And, yeah, I buy the better syrups, and have tried several brands. So... it's just an expense without much difference in flavor. Hmm... corn syrup is probably cheaper too, and I do like that. Anyway...
I am hoping, today, to do some of that work I have on my list. Finishing laundry, relocating the boxes and perhaps breaking the new boxes down, hitting the floors, finishing the bathroom cleaning... Some or all of that. But today is a shooting day. I am thinking I will take a pistol, and maybe the lever .22. It's been a while. It would be nice to cast lead the easy way. Out, hopefully, to the range by noon, maybe 11:00. An hour there, then lunch, then home. I've been napping in early afternoon to manage my schedule change. Might try to push through, but if I do much here at home, plus go shooting, a nap might be mandatory. Hard to tell.
I did tear into the sink plumbing. What a mess. I think I see what would make it work. Actually I will buy several. I need at least one over pipe locking link. There is one in there, but I need another from the pipe coming down from after the 'y', the single pipe down, and where that connects to the trap. If it doesn't make sense, don't worry, I do know what I need now. Actually, I could have missed it. While it is used on another part of the plumbing, it would have been easy to miss. With that in place, the plumbing should work like a charm. Wouldn't have worked with the old trap though. The diameter of the upper part was too small. Very odd. Yes, perhaps I should try to be in by 10:00 to 10:30, so I can grab that before stopping at my friend's place.
Well, I suppose, I ought to have another cup of coffee, figure out waking, and then get to a few things before it is time to shower and go. Good day (day). Just for you, foam. :p Later.
Monday, February 9, 2015
Rain check.
.
.
I could see that it was cloudy. I suspected rain. I just couldn't drag myself over to check. My friend called and said tomorrow might be the better day. Good enough. I am still feeling like fresh squeezed oranges. Sometimes, after a short medicine stoppage, getting back to them isn't difficult. In this case it is, but mildly. It's the organs, they do feel slightly bruised. Kidneys, liver, and somethings else I can't quite be sure of. I've definitely had worse. I have also had better. I should be doing better tomorrow. At least the mind is in good condition. The body is a bit sore and achy. It almost feels like I was in a solid fight, with good give or take, and mostly just body shots, say... two or even three days ago. At least back when I still felt pain after fights. If you fight enough, you harden.
I don't know how much I will get to today. I did put the trap parts together, but haven't installed it yet. I may need to make adjustments, assuming it will fit. I just hate tearing into it only to have it fail. Then again, today would be the perfect day to do that, since I am going to town tomorrow or soon. Best know if I need anything so that I won't have to wait or make another trip just for that. Then again, any time I go to town, it is almost never for a solo shopping or business trip. I always try to load as much into the trip as possible. Efficiency.
I might get some, or all, of that list I had. I'll probably start with boxes, then laundry since I can fold sitting. I did get the trash and recycling out today, plus changed out part of the cat litter. I also already had a bite to eat. Which reminds me, with butter, I could mix up a batch of waffle batter. I just don't have anything really easy to... hmm... maybe those plastic bowls will do just fine. I can dip out of that. I can even mix in it, perhaps. I sometimes forget, or don't think, how things can be used. I suppose I was distracted by the notion of a special pour container, thinking of using it also as a pancake batter hopper. And that may happen. But it isn't necessary for waffle mixes. Crossed wires, I suppose. I really want to try a waffle or two, soon. Just... because. Those are sort of special to me.
I will try to remember to order a quarter of a beef, and maybe an extra ribeye roast, if they will cut it to the extra thickness I prefer. Their checksheet only allows a 1" thickness. I prefer half to be 1 1/4", half to be 1 1/2". I AM eating for two. Literally. Oh, and if they offer meaty enough beef ribs, I would like some of those. I feel like I'm in the Flintstones when eating those, but truly love the flavor. At about next Friday, I suspect. That way the meat arrives right around payday. Can afford, I just like to split out larger costs. After that, I really need to review my finances and consider a wheat grinder, probably with it's own rolling kitchen cabinet.
Oh, for the kitchen, I realize now why so many of my aunts had television in the kitchen. Cooking is fine, but it can get a bit boring. Those minutes you need to be in the kitchen, but nothing is happening. Counting down four minutes, then three, and sets of them. Running in and out of the living room is just a hassle. I'm trying to figure out how to run a small set out there, perhaps mount it on one of the walls, or even ceiling with the right drop-down hinged device. Just something to listen to while doing the mundane... and maybe a radio. Cooking is fun, though sometimes time tedious. I don't exactly need a 60", curved, 3D, 4k out there... just a stock 32", maybe 36". More for the noise, perhaps with a dvd/bluray player? Something. Gosh, I'm becoming my mom! :p Need to find a wife, for sure, now. Then again, even so, I will cook from time to time, and probably have to teach her how to feed a nephilim. Meat, meat, meat, with a side of meat, and maybe something dripping with meat juice. Oh, and meat. Green, red, orange, yellow, and other colored stuff, left in proximity, might also be consumed in the feeding frenzy, but that is mostly accidental, or incidental. I'm never sure.
Later.
.
I could see that it was cloudy. I suspected rain. I just couldn't drag myself over to check. My friend called and said tomorrow might be the better day. Good enough. I am still feeling like fresh squeezed oranges. Sometimes, after a short medicine stoppage, getting back to them isn't difficult. In this case it is, but mildly. It's the organs, they do feel slightly bruised. Kidneys, liver, and somethings else I can't quite be sure of. I've definitely had worse. I have also had better. I should be doing better tomorrow. At least the mind is in good condition. The body is a bit sore and achy. It almost feels like I was in a solid fight, with good give or take, and mostly just body shots, say... two or even three days ago. At least back when I still felt pain after fights. If you fight enough, you harden.
I don't know how much I will get to today. I did put the trap parts together, but haven't installed it yet. I may need to make adjustments, assuming it will fit. I just hate tearing into it only to have it fail. Then again, today would be the perfect day to do that, since I am going to town tomorrow or soon. Best know if I need anything so that I won't have to wait or make another trip just for that. Then again, any time I go to town, it is almost never for a solo shopping or business trip. I always try to load as much into the trip as possible. Efficiency.
I might get some, or all, of that list I had. I'll probably start with boxes, then laundry since I can fold sitting. I did get the trash and recycling out today, plus changed out part of the cat litter. I also already had a bite to eat. Which reminds me, with butter, I could mix up a batch of waffle batter. I just don't have anything really easy to... hmm... maybe those plastic bowls will do just fine. I can dip out of that. I can even mix in it, perhaps. I sometimes forget, or don't think, how things can be used. I suppose I was distracted by the notion of a special pour container, thinking of using it also as a pancake batter hopper. And that may happen. But it isn't necessary for waffle mixes. Crossed wires, I suppose. I really want to try a waffle or two, soon. Just... because. Those are sort of special to me.
I will try to remember to order a quarter of a beef, and maybe an extra ribeye roast, if they will cut it to the extra thickness I prefer. Their checksheet only allows a 1" thickness. I prefer half to be 1 1/4", half to be 1 1/2". I AM eating for two. Literally. Oh, and if they offer meaty enough beef ribs, I would like some of those. I feel like I'm in the Flintstones when eating those, but truly love the flavor. At about next Friday, I suspect. That way the meat arrives right around payday. Can afford, I just like to split out larger costs. After that, I really need to review my finances and consider a wheat grinder, probably with it's own rolling kitchen cabinet.
Oh, for the kitchen, I realize now why so many of my aunts had television in the kitchen. Cooking is fine, but it can get a bit boring. Those minutes you need to be in the kitchen, but nothing is happening. Counting down four minutes, then three, and sets of them. Running in and out of the living room is just a hassle. I'm trying to figure out how to run a small set out there, perhaps mount it on one of the walls, or even ceiling with the right drop-down hinged device. Just something to listen to while doing the mundane... and maybe a radio. Cooking is fun, though sometimes time tedious. I don't exactly need a 60", curved, 3D, 4k out there... just a stock 32", maybe 36". More for the noise, perhaps with a dvd/bluray player? Something. Gosh, I'm becoming my mom! :p Need to find a wife, for sure, now. Then again, even so, I will cook from time to time, and probably have to teach her how to feed a nephilim. Meat, meat, meat, with a side of meat, and maybe something dripping with meat juice. Oh, and meat. Green, red, orange, yellow, and other colored stuff, left in proximity, might also be consumed in the feeding frenzy, but that is mostly accidental, or incidental. I'm never sure.
Later.
Why run.
.
.
At first because there was no choice. Every instinct, every fiber of muscle, all my knowledge, and every piece of wisdom I could lay my hands upon, demanded it. From what? To where? Absolutely did not matter, the only sense was to be not here. Everywhere was here. Move! Run! Go! There was preferable, as quickly as possible. No one believes. I don't believe. Not then. Even now I am only scraping of some of the necessary disbelief from that time, at times, for times, to see what lies beneath those bandages, scabs, holes.
.
At first because there was no choice. Every instinct, every fiber of muscle, all my knowledge, and every piece of wisdom I could lay my hands upon, demanded it. From what? To where? Absolutely did not matter, the only sense was to be not here. Everywhere was here. Move! Run! Go! There was preferable, as quickly as possible. No one believes. I don't believe. Not then. Even now I am only scraping of some of the necessary disbelief from that time, at times, for times, to see what lies beneath those bandages, scabs, holes.
More rest was needed than thought.
.
.
It wasn't just the work load. Actually, I don't believe that was even a part of it. Well, not the part that took me two notches below where I thought I would be... or more. I saw that I had done much and planned to back off a bit. But that wasn't enough. The real problem came in that, for a number of days, I had missed my medicine. It's odd, but if medicine looks to be going off line, for whatever reason, one side of my mind plans for that, then whatever happens, creates that scenario. My subconscious mind is quite potent. It can and does create minor forms of reality. If I gear it to make it so, it will override my body, my mind, and whatever it must. How do you think I ended up here, or at Burning Man, or... so many other things, right over a mostly dead body? Doesn't always work, but it is a real force.
Then again, not all the medicine was in. A part of not taking medicine was a fear that taking parts of it would create a different set of problems, perhaps much worse problems. On some things, I am greatly fearful. I don't mind pains I am used to, I don't like the potential for new excruciating forms of pain and will avoid if I can. Just the grain of doubt, mixed in with the subconscious expectation and readiness which set things up, led to missing medicines for a while. It just did. I was half aware, and I do mean half, that this was happening, but didn't have a good way of... manipulating the situation. Some parts of myself are complicated for my conscious mind to alter. Think of learning to use robotic arms. Even when you get good at it, and in some areas if not this one, I am... it still feels unnatural. As such I ended up off medicine.
Disturbances of mind, body, spirit, expectations, and such, in my shadow form of life, have very odd consequences. So it was. I did go back on medication yesterday, but the fallout is a minor dip. I don't know how long it will last. I will do what I can. I think I can dig out. But this drop of medication hurts. Not too terribly, but in a way other drops haven't hurt. I will pick up on my last list of chores, finishing the laundry, arranging boxes, sweeping and maybe mopping the kitchen and bathroom, perhaps mopping those areas, and more cleanup in the kitchen. Oh... after looking high and low for a microwave stand that would handle my larger microwave, the food processor, and the waffle iron, with a drawer and extra space being available, I saw what I needed and pulled the trigger. I have hated having the microwave take so much space. And I wanted the big and little food processor, and waffle iron, to be off the counters but don't really have another convenient space. So... Look. You have to do what you have to do. Spending money just has to happen.
Oh, right. My friend wanted to go shooting yesterday. There was no way I could get out when he called. Today, however, I told him I would do so. Not sure I will shoot. If .22 ammunition was in stock, I would. But I'm not feeling up to a lot of shooting. Too tired for that. Oh, I could shoot. But shooting actually does wear you out. It's sort of amazing how it can do that. Still, I promised. So, if I want to get things done, I should probably do them this morning. I'll start with laundry, just a little folding and putting up... then hit the boxes which opens up for sweeping, and mopping potentially. Uhrm, after I wake up.
---------
Strange dream last night. I was visiting a friendly family, roughly based on one I do know. As it turns out, they were headed to a fireworks display, celebration of some sort. I wasn't going to go. One of their sons was messing around at their home, which I was visiting. I was in their garage for something or other, doing some electrical work I think. As they were leaving, a troubled old friend showed up. She must have been a doll when younger, and for her age wasn't bad looking. However, her drinking habits had gone over the edge. The family left, but she stayed to sleep it off in her car, which she parked in the garage in which I was working.
I spoke with her a bit, as I was working, or when taking a brief break. She seemed pleasant, but there was something dark about her. I knew she was going to end up getting one of my pet family's members killed. It wasn't going to be a direct murder, mind you. Just, this leading to that leading to death. I saw it absolutely clearly, and knew it was true. I kept working, not knowing what to do. As I finished, she was passed out in her vehicle. The son who had been in the home had headed to the event, so it was just her and me. I arranged for an electrical failure, ensuring it would light a blaze, then left. She died in the resultant fire.
I was picked up, later, for questioning. I admitted nothing, only that, yes, I indeed had met the woman. That yes, I was there shortly before the fire, working in the garage. As the questions became a bit much, I told them I would say no more without a lawyer, so either arrest me or let me go. I was placed under arrest. I did speak with a lawyer, but gave him no clues as to the truth, only suggesting that heart problems would make some things difficult, but that the process might kill me. I don't know how it ended up. I won't say what I did was good, or right, or if the reason was as true as I thought. I just don't know. Oddball dream, to be sure.
---------
Well... on to waking up, and then to what of my list I can get done before a shower then heading out. Later.
.
It wasn't just the work load. Actually, I don't believe that was even a part of it. Well, not the part that took me two notches below where I thought I would be... or more. I saw that I had done much and planned to back off a bit. But that wasn't enough. The real problem came in that, for a number of days, I had missed my medicine. It's odd, but if medicine looks to be going off line, for whatever reason, one side of my mind plans for that, then whatever happens, creates that scenario. My subconscious mind is quite potent. It can and does create minor forms of reality. If I gear it to make it so, it will override my body, my mind, and whatever it must. How do you think I ended up here, or at Burning Man, or... so many other things, right over a mostly dead body? Doesn't always work, but it is a real force.
Then again, not all the medicine was in. A part of not taking medicine was a fear that taking parts of it would create a different set of problems, perhaps much worse problems. On some things, I am greatly fearful. I don't mind pains I am used to, I don't like the potential for new excruciating forms of pain and will avoid if I can. Just the grain of doubt, mixed in with the subconscious expectation and readiness which set things up, led to missing medicines for a while. It just did. I was half aware, and I do mean half, that this was happening, but didn't have a good way of... manipulating the situation. Some parts of myself are complicated for my conscious mind to alter. Think of learning to use robotic arms. Even when you get good at it, and in some areas if not this one, I am... it still feels unnatural. As such I ended up off medicine.
Disturbances of mind, body, spirit, expectations, and such, in my shadow form of life, have very odd consequences. So it was. I did go back on medication yesterday, but the fallout is a minor dip. I don't know how long it will last. I will do what I can. I think I can dig out. But this drop of medication hurts. Not too terribly, but in a way other drops haven't hurt. I will pick up on my last list of chores, finishing the laundry, arranging boxes, sweeping and maybe mopping the kitchen and bathroom, perhaps mopping those areas, and more cleanup in the kitchen. Oh... after looking high and low for a microwave stand that would handle my larger microwave, the food processor, and the waffle iron, with a drawer and extra space being available, I saw what I needed and pulled the trigger. I have hated having the microwave take so much space. And I wanted the big and little food processor, and waffle iron, to be off the counters but don't really have another convenient space. So... Look. You have to do what you have to do. Spending money just has to happen.
Oh, right. My friend wanted to go shooting yesterday. There was no way I could get out when he called. Today, however, I told him I would do so. Not sure I will shoot. If .22 ammunition was in stock, I would. But I'm not feeling up to a lot of shooting. Too tired for that. Oh, I could shoot. But shooting actually does wear you out. It's sort of amazing how it can do that. Still, I promised. So, if I want to get things done, I should probably do them this morning. I'll start with laundry, just a little folding and putting up... then hit the boxes which opens up for sweeping, and mopping potentially. Uhrm, after I wake up.
---------
Strange dream last night. I was visiting a friendly family, roughly based on one I do know. As it turns out, they were headed to a fireworks display, celebration of some sort. I wasn't going to go. One of their sons was messing around at their home, which I was visiting. I was in their garage for something or other, doing some electrical work I think. As they were leaving, a troubled old friend showed up. She must have been a doll when younger, and for her age wasn't bad looking. However, her drinking habits had gone over the edge. The family left, but she stayed to sleep it off in her car, which she parked in the garage in which I was working.
I spoke with her a bit, as I was working, or when taking a brief break. She seemed pleasant, but there was something dark about her. I knew she was going to end up getting one of my pet family's members killed. It wasn't going to be a direct murder, mind you. Just, this leading to that leading to death. I saw it absolutely clearly, and knew it was true. I kept working, not knowing what to do. As I finished, she was passed out in her vehicle. The son who had been in the home had headed to the event, so it was just her and me. I arranged for an electrical failure, ensuring it would light a blaze, then left. She died in the resultant fire.
I was picked up, later, for questioning. I admitted nothing, only that, yes, I indeed had met the woman. That yes, I was there shortly before the fire, working in the garage. As the questions became a bit much, I told them I would say no more without a lawyer, so either arrest me or let me go. I was placed under arrest. I did speak with a lawyer, but gave him no clues as to the truth, only suggesting that heart problems would make some things difficult, but that the process might kill me. I don't know how it ended up. I won't say what I did was good, or right, or if the reason was as true as I thought. I just don't know. Oddball dream, to be sure.
---------
Well... on to waking up, and then to what of my list I can get done before a shower then heading out. Later.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
I shouldn't go looking.
.
.
Oh, I know better. I do. When I see something that fits, then see another part to it, I both know better and can't resist. Something that hurts, a part that might fit or could just be wrong... not sure which is worse. Actually, if they fit together and fit whole... that's the worst. Shouldn't go looking. Shouldn't scratch wounds either. Odd how no matter how old some wounds, they still itch, and hurt. It may depend on how deep, severe, complicated, the wound.
.
Oh, I know better. I do. When I see something that fits, then see another part to it, I both know better and can't resist. Something that hurts, a part that might fit or could just be wrong... not sure which is worse. Actually, if they fit together and fit whole... that's the worst. Shouldn't go looking. Shouldn't scratch wounds either. Odd how no matter how old some wounds, they still itch, and hurt. It may depend on how deep, severe, complicated, the wound.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)