Cold out there.

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The outdoor thermometer I trust read 12~13 ° (F).  Which isn't horrible, unless you are wearing thin pj's or working with water, or both.  I am and was.  It looks like I'll be redoing water morning and evening pretty much from now on.  I could only imagine doing it for more or larger animals.  If my... when my sleep schedule is off, I'll just have to do it when I can, but twice a day.  They require water to eat.

I have started medicine, but it is brutal.  Everything hurts, and my sleep patterns are going wild.  I was stuck in night mode, but it was regular... ish.  Now I am sleeping and staying awake or asleep in six to twelve hour increments.  For some reason, it is blocking up the nasal passages too.  It all works out eventually.

I actually started this early morning, but crashed so hard I couldn't finish until mid-afternoon.  Still tired.  May barrel roll back to bed still.  Later.

Too hungry.

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I kept trying to eat less.  Succeeded, but without results.  Blood sugar is staying in the 160's ~ 180's.  So, yesterday, I made a placket of chicken drumsticks, and ate them.  While tasty, I realized, after gorging twice, that the problem was not enough fat.  Pork ribs and bacon was thawed for tonight.

Rather than have them separately, I combined them.  Pork ribs aren't the fattest, at least not these.  Wrapped in two pieces of bacon, however, and you are getting there.  I haven't done this before, so had to make it up.  I cooked the rip cuts partially first, then wrapped them in bacon for another equal time, having flipped them halfway in each cooking half.

It added a lot of flavor and the fat I needed.  A few smaller pieces and I am absolutely stuffed.  Two pieces is all I need, unlike the chicken, of which seven pieces just, mostly, worked.  Ugh, way too full.  May have to see if bacon wrapped chicken works.  Not a bad trick, if working with partially cooked meat is novel and... odd.  Worth the price of admission.

Crashing.  Ate too much in spite of being a tiny... smaller anyway, amount.  Nap time?  Later.

Stuck.

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I did get out, to buy cat food and litter, mostly.  The cats have solidly chosen the cheaper... i should say less expensive... litter, it works just as good as the pricier brand.  Even when the litter of choice became rank, my very bad, they still wouldn't use the other.  I think it's the strange, strong, and large volume of dust the expensive stuff dumps airward when disturbed.  All good.

If I keep up on it, clean mostly daily, freshen with extra before it gets too bad, three bags will last well over a month, going on two.  At $5 instead of $9 per bag, I too like the less expensive.  I will remove that last pan of it from the trials, even if mostly unused.  With it taking space but not being used, it exacerbates the wear on the others.  The girls rotate well when given right options.

I also needed t.p. and paper towels.  I want to use cloth more, but I am terrible about keeping up on those, as opposed to paper towels.  And some jobs are just too nasty for cloth.  Throwing cloth is further out of my financials and less resource managing.  A big group of t.p. this month, another next, and I am good for a year or more.  I usually keep two big packs on hand, but forgot, then finances snuck up on me.

Oh, I also bought a few large tall shirts at walmart, various brands, to see if a large is true.  It is!  They even had large talls!  Anyway, it looks like I am actually, at 260~265 pounds into 38 waste and a large shirt size.  I am aiming at 36, maybe 34 waist.  I don't think I ever did, or could, fit a medium shirt.  But a slimmer waist would look even better.  As is, my still 52" chest going down, if over a smaller belly... slight tire... to the 38" waist, is starting to look... better.  A large?  A "v" chest again?  Crazy.

The ducks won't be out today?  Hmm, I have to feed them, so perhaps.  But they won't get the whole day out.  I need to check their water, it is freezing every night now.  I guess it is a daily, perhaps to become a twice daily?  Ugh.  I best get too it, check the cat litter and change that one out.  The indoor girls are quite happy to have litter cleaned and dry food back in supply.  Life might be picking back up.

Later.

Strange.

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Rumbles from the past.  One has been named as significant, the other was passed off as something I never saw it as.  I... didn't want to write it as such.

Is she thinking of me?

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I suppose... I could hope.

She is definitely on my mind.  Oh, she knows who.

Darker.

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Much darker much earlier.  I needed to recharge batteries for my hefty flashlight after last night.  I don't think I used it much.  It's more that it was left in the auto a few nights, when it dipped below freezing.  The real problem with all batteries.  Though there are other problems.  Batteries can only be counted upon for a short bit, after a collapse.  Solar rechargeable or not.  Still, charged and blazing tonight.

Anyway, it's easier to herd the feathered pals when it is darker.  Shining the light in the coop, when they see little else, and they know home.  The only trick is to get around behind them, to shine on into the hutch or they become reluctant to enter.  Then I need to approach from behind to seal the deal even so.

I had to laugh.  While they could see the light, from the source on out, and hear me approach, when I  spoke, to calm them, I ended up doing just the opposite.  They went from church women in the pews to the same, but later in the bingo parlor.  I had to laugh, a bark... then stifle that and just grin so as to avoid a flight back out into the yard.  A bit of extra food, plus their water looked good enough... changed yesterday, and tomorrow.  I like that their home is getting aired.

So late, but a good day.

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I went to bed relatively early, again.  It didn't matter.  Going down at 2:00 but I couldn't wake until 13:00, pretty much on both dots.  No pain.  All else seems good.

I chased my feathered friends out, broke the thin ice on their outside water, and took their food out for them.  They and I are working out just how to do things were hassle and fuss are minimal.  Then I open the coop as fully as possible, to let it air out.  It's a sunny but cold morning.  The ducks probably prefer the cold.  It's the summer that will get them, if winter will be the more complicated time for me as to water freezing.  I... have an idea or two in that regard.  We'll see.

Later.

A new, if dark, day.

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Down shortly after 6:00, at about the last post... despite the obama timestamp.  It'll take a while to bring white truth back to America.  Depending on whether deep state does a soft coup or if democracy and Trump wins today will dictate the speed... if... not in the way the crass might suspect.  Deny even the poor choice of political "choice" and people do it for themselves.

Anyway.  Waking at a bit after noon.  I did feed the ducks, but didn't, won't, put them out today.  Too gray of a day.  Though... I may try to push past such.  It is good for me to get out, ambulate, more with the herding thing.  Plus it is good for the ducks and the coop.  Cleaner, clearer.  I need a better, smaller, outside waterer... trough.  Perhaps extra feeders, just for outside.  It might not be much, but a few ducks has proven to be impetus enough to stretch my life just a bit more.  I may try to get them out five days a week, as a goal.  That gives me a few days off.

Oh, an oddity concerning the ducks...  I found the coop open yesterday afternoon, when I woke.  Which is fine.  I suspect a goodly neighbor has... thoughts for the birds, perhaps me, and does this kindness if they have time.  That isn't the odd thing.  I found one of the hens out.  I suspect a fowl quarrel lead to a window escape... quite probably accidental.  She returned to the inner door, begging to be returned to the... not gaggle but it'll do for a temporary plural... gaggle of quacks.  I'll need to 'fence' the windows.  Should have already.

After fatted tea in a bit, and a meat and egg platter, plus several hours... up to two... I'll do a blood test.  Oh, and the Veteran's Administration has told me, through the puppet, that they won't give out blood sugar testing supplies if I am not on insulin.  To save money.  This despite that with the tester I have learned to eat right rather than cost them over a thousand a month in two shots they were trying to force me to take.  A thousand dollars a month, PLUS glucose testing - versus thirty dollars (at least if they didn't make "unfortunate" back door deals for overpriced goods with unscrupulous crony capitalists).  Money savings?  What?

Get rid of the V.A., president Trump.  For the good of vets first, then the nation as a whole.  Flush the white collar criminal union, give vets a truly open health policy, free from the worst elements of bureaucratic and crony capitalist malfeasance.  We will go were doctors understand they are employees... or unemployed.  Burn it.

Later.

Not quite back to it.

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One concern is tended.  On my return trip, I stopped for fast food, and caffeine.  As bad as "diet" soda is, without tea or my sugar alt, I went with regular soda.  Then, Saturday, I tore into the remnants of Halloween candy.  I had been hoping to offload it Friday but the opportunity fell through.  I finally tested Monday midday, expecting high 180's, perhaps more honestly into the 200's, maybe higher.  It was 124.  I generously called it pre-meal, but I think it was after-meal... between an hour and two after.

One test could be a fluke.  It is... promising.  I haven't been fasting, not even intermittent fasting.  Not quite enough fat for keto either... probably.  I'll test tomorrow, blood sugar and ketones.  Hungry.  Now.  Will have a bite before crashing.  Pork coins or a few chicken thighs?

I got the ducks out, then back into their home.  They don't go far, and always as a group.  It gives their roost time to air.  As well, if their food and water containers get too messy, it is easier and quieter to change those with the group removed.  They are beginning to leave and return with less prompting.  As well, I am learning duck rodeo-fu.  Like kung-fu, only with quacks.

Good night, and morning.

Mostly recovered from the three day stretch.

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I have been awake, plenty, since returning Friday.  My sleep cycle is rife with holes... will have to be patched before an attempt at a day schedule can be attempted.  My body aches, of muscle and bone, from the shoulders up.  Hmm, while I rest I may try to remember neck and shoulder maneuvers every few hours.  So tired still I will otherwise blindly, simply, just... sit.

I put on a shirt that used to be too small.  It fits loose.  I didn't ever think it could fit.  The shoulders.  I didn't think I would fit a large... not extra large, a man's large.  I do need tall size, still, of course.  I just wanted to check another brand of large.  Crazy.  I am only down to the 260's, if I am muscling heavily somehow.  Not large bulk, but what I have is nigh onto feral, impossible, raw, strength.  Always been a sort of stupid strong.  This is heading back to crazy strength, by way of feral?  Yes.

I'll keep at it.  I also need to rest med-sets and begin testing bp again.  Ugh.  Can barely think.  I'll do it today high or hell water.  I have meat thawed, to be grilled.  Will have hot tea for fatted tea by the time that rolls around.  Ducks are fed and watered.  I won't push them out today... raining, gloomy.  I doubt if they care, it's more about me not wanting to herd them later.  Usually I will, several days a week, just not this day of recovery.

I called my mother.  All seems well.  It's good to talk.  This week I'd like to call my brother.  A few times a month.  I'd like to become friends again.  We have gone through phases.  I... think it is time to mature beyond phases.  And I enjoyed our last conversation, if that isn't the absolute point.  While many may be called brother, if your brother is not among them there is a problem.  Hopefully, if it works out, he might start calling when he feels the want or need to talk.  Once he... trusts.

Have a great day.  Remember the Lord's day.  Later.

Three days awake?

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Until yesterday evening, yes.  Which made posting impossible.  The first night was a fuss from the early, false, drive to the appointment, the second was trying to get days and nights sorted.  The third day too.  Then it was Halloween.  I had to get candy and be up for visitors.  With the early appointment, it got too late for me to sleep.

I wasn't sure if I would make it, or back, but I did.  Then I stayed awake until early afternoon.  I crashed so hard I think I heard thunder with the impact.  I think it was a fourteen hour sleep, if I may go back to sleep, or get a nap in a few hours.  I am wavering on that, would prefer to be awake for a bit.

Medicine is again available.  And they will be supplying a blood sugar tester, if limiting it to twice a day.  Didn't want to since I refused their so-called medicine, but I told her food is my medicine.  They just don't get it. I, we, don't trust them or their medicine.  She keeps trying to convince me, but either won't or can't answer a set of questions that allow faith... her answers prove my disbelief.  Going on insulin is only slightly different than going on heroin.  Only without it you die.  Permanent.

Later.

Wrong day.

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I thought I had an appointment today.  I stayed up, since I couldn't both sleep and make it to the appointment.  Oh well.  The only bad thing is the cost of gas.

I was testing blood sugar through the night.  It stayed around 130, checking every four hours.  I expected the fasting waking blood sugar to jump, perhaps up to 140 or more likely 160.  Nope, it was a 124 reading.  Fantastic.  I'll never quite figure this out.  Perhaps now that I am probably in ketosis, consuming body fat (?just not sure how well into keto, or if that really works as advertised?), maybe my body acts very differently to... many, all?, foods?

I let the ducks out before going to bed.  I gave the girls, cats, a treat during the night, but need to feed them soon.  I also got trash and recycling out.  Was today recycling?  Will know shortly.  Oh, and stopped at the post.  I didn't waste the opportunity of being up and out.  Of course, shaved and showered first.  Okies.

Later.

Not much.

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I keep starting without finishing things.  I just get lost.  I'll get a shower shortly.

Blood sugar has been doing much better.  While it was 166 last night at bedtime, it was strangely lower fasting, at 159.  Unusual, unless this is the start of the breaking point were that becomes the norm.  I kept eating yesterday, which is why it was so high.  Anyway, the two other readings today were 130 then 133 later.  My seven day average is 147 for the week, down from 152 for the two week and 161 for the month.  I have finally recovered from visiting my mother.

The rough measure of ketones available to me suggests it is right at 80.  All good.  Perhaps to much protein today, but not a major complaint.

Forgot to mention...

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While cleaning in the front room, the grip exercisers were found.  From one fifty to three fifty in fifty pound increments.  The Boss... I had said I got up to doing three fifty... he questioned how long ago.  I had to think.  Two, maybe three years ago?  Since I did any working?  Yes.

Anyway, that made me nervous to test.  I started with the three hundred gripper.  I was able to kick out five without thinking, then several more, right and similar left.  I could do about three or four half pulls on the three fifty.  All without real strain, wasn't up to pushing... I'm old, ill, ya know.  Yeah, I am satisfied.  When I got to doing three fifty regularly I became able to hurt my hands just by gripping things full force.

Not bad for an old, mostly dead, guy.  *grins*  Dang kids question everything.  They say, for an adult man, greater than 144 pounds is excellent.  For my age group alone though?  I guess that counts.  Serious mojo.

Not these escargot.

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I tried this type before, but didn't rinse.  I ended with, it seemed, as much sand as meat.  I was unsure whether to try this kind again.  I had some so I did.  This time I rinsed the snails extremely well, several times.  Then fried shortly in butter and onions, adding sour cream to cool quickly plus add fat.  Far from cold, but no longer cooking, I ate.

No.  Too... gamey.  If you have ever eaten good and bad... gamey... frog legs you understand.  Gamey, for swamp critters, means swampy tasting.  The mire, decay, vegetal nature is what one is left with.  The texture was so-so.  I have other types I will try.  I have eaten wonderful escargot.  I am positive it couldn't have been fresh.  I truly desire the experience, so will keep trying.

The sauce was delectable.  I might like fresh garlic rather than powdered.  I might add lemon.  Or not.  Nice options if available.  Oh, just a rare holiday treat, so price... to a degree... isn't a major issue.  A bit disappointed.  I'll try again with one of the better brands.

Blood sugar, after eggs and chops, and a fatted tea dropped to 130.  It surprised me.  I took the read at what is usually the high after meal read, two hours after.  With nothing else save corn, because of the escargot debacle of '18, I am having another fatted tea, this time with MTC oil.  I need to remember that from now on.  Even twice a day, with or without the full ketonic load.  It really adds solid good extra fat.  Which really is working.  I'll take another read at 18:00 and 22-23:00 if still awake.

Later.

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Forgot to post.  The last blood sugar was 129, after more.  I tried two other cans of escargot.  What seemed best was one in which the snails were not precooked.  It still wasn't fantastic, only tolerable.  Perhaps more exacting effort or different or slightly different recipe.  Just baked in butter, perhaps garlic, with fresh lemon might work best.  Everybody needs an occasional luxury... and challenge in obtaining it?  I think so.

The problem is that I am still hungry.  Perhaps a glass of milk and sardines.  Not perfect, or terribly filling, but... doable and keto right.

Good night.  Probably.

A good morning.

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Or.  Not a bad one.  I'm a bit worn and slightly down... more on the physical side of things.  Though the spirit and mind offer nothing to help dig out.  Still, I'm not truly in the dumps, just... worn, as suggested.  I'll check the chops in a bit.  If thawed, I'll have a few with eggs and fatted tea with said.  A fatted tea gets my fat count way up, quickly and easily.

A few stopped by.

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I'm never sure.  According to blogger, my range the last four to five years has been from a low of just under a thousand to a high of 11,650 or so in a month.  Average is two to three thousand.  So far this month I hit about 3560.  Never sure about those numbers, if goog is just as likely to undercount as over.  Especially for those of us who bucked the rez.

Or, more, depending on if the sjw's get their hands on counter algo's.  They keep lists of bad thinkers, probably share data between federal bureaucracies such as the V.A. and social security through union "workers" (who are paid tax dimes to spy on malcontents) which share data with drivers license to auto registration and probably on to big tech.  So, hard to know how much, or when, someone in there is corrupting data or for what purpose.  Anyway...

Blood sugar was high this morning, at 162.  After a meal it dropped, but not much.  Dropping to 152, for what it was worth.  I did get hungry and so ate later last night.  All good for keto stuff.  Ugh.  Frustrating.  Often I have little trouble keeping blood sugar down, until right before doctor appointments.  Keto is back to between 40 and 80.  While I keep slipping on intermittent fasting (The last few days) I am certainly eating a very low calorie and higher fat diet.  Bleh.

Later.

Cancelled.

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I had an appointment today.  Couldn't make it.  Just in bad shape.  Blood sugar was good, 130 fasting if I hadn't written, 141 later.  Not sure about after dinner.  I'm planning on a fatted tea before sleep.

I did make a shorter trip. Just to drop off paperwork to my doctor.  I am getting a copy, in case this bureaucracy also 'doesn't receive' the paperwork.  I also took the vehicle in for a cleaning.  Still a bit rough, but not the cleaner's fault.  It's just been to long.

It's a rough day.  Cool and dark.  I'll go on to bed shortly.  Tired.  Ill a bit.  I did get a shower and shave, and in all ways was ready to go.  I just... couldn't.  I did call, cancel, and reset.  There is that.

It's as good as a bad day gets.  Good night.

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A pleasant surprise update as I head to bed.  Didn't want to check blood sugar.  I bought a couple of Hardee's roast beef sandwiches, a medium and large.  No soda, just tea, with the one that lasted the trip home.  Still... bread.  Anyway, I tested.  My blood sugar was 116 four hours after the meal, or so?  All good.  Good night.

Uhmm, love the vibes.

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They come pouring in sometimes.  Some from past loves, some from guys who get it... or want to.  Vicarious might be what is left?  Some from dames with... things of their own in mind.  Sometimes, usually, it's a small joy, sometimes grand, though it can be a terror.  Today it is a small joy, or more.  Too early to quite get the sense... other than that it is good or better.

Oh, fasting blood sugar was 130.  I haven't done anything different.  Yesterday it went 150 fasting, 180 after a fatted tea lunch, then 130 for bedtime.  Nothing but plain tea and that fatted tea... wait, I did have a can of corn and three drummies.  Hmm... same as the last few days.  I don't get it, but I'll take today's result.

Not good.

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I don't hurt all the time.  Four or five hours a day it gets rough.  Thankfully aspirin handles it when I  need relief.  Too tired to do much, not tired enough to sleep.  The ducks and cats are tended.  I even mostly take care of self.  Mostly.  I need to do some things, but am having difficulty getting going.

Blood sugar was weird yesterday.  It started at 180 fasting, then dropped to 156 after my fatted tea, 165 after my one food meal, 152 without anything for hours.  Oddly it is starting out at 150 fasting this morning.  It's still lame for as little as I have been eating.  We'll see.

I sometimes wonder if sugar is being added to things.  It only takes a little, wouldn't be noticed in some things.  Though, perhaps some foods develop sugars?  Oh, ketones dropped to nil too.  All I ate yesterday was two fatted teas and three pieces of slightly overdone chicken drummies and about four ounces of pork roast.  Hmm, I drank a lot less, the last two days.  I wonder if that is, or part of, the problem?

I turned the furnace to 72, just because, yesterday.  I couldn't tell the difference.  I will definitely keep it at 68.  I used to turn it up before a shower.  I have decided that isn't helpful either.  I would go down to 66, but that doesn't give me much margin if the heat goes out.  Yeah.

This is my 9009th post.  Apparently someone IS counting.

Well, tea time.  First some cold, then hot fatted.  Later.