All that for just a nap?

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I finished and posted just shy of 16:00, four pm... twelve plus four, for those who are adverse to simple math, or sixteen minus twelve the other way.  *shakes head*  It isn't fancy, or even .mil.  It is a simpler, more specific, means of telling time and time of day for anyone whose schedule, often explosively, changes.  When it can be dark enough to pass for night or day more of the day than not, it helps.

Anyway.  Down at between 16:00 and 18:00, up at 20:30 (18 - 12 = 6 (pm), 12 + 8:30 = 20:30 (hundred hours)).  I was so very tired.  I thought I would be down until morning.  When I woke I felt rested.  I expected it to be morning, or close enough.  I, when I found and observed the alarm clock, wanted to return to sleep.  There was no returning.

I turned the furnace up.  While I can't seem to keep my feet and legs warm, putting socks on and upping the furnace keeps the skin from getting thin, dry, creating sores.  Life is higher maintenance.  Everything has to be consciously tended, and that isn't always possible.  Still, I do what I can when I remember and am able.

If I can do a few things tonight, I will.  A batch of dishes, trash collection, even just some of it, very small batches.  Medicines arrived.  For now staying on them.  Will reset the medicine sets.  I purchased two more recently.  That will keep me in pills for a month and a half.  I won't near running out, if I can keep up.  It gets tricky without enough depth and such deep psychic fog sometimes.  I will call to check on insulin this morning.  If I can stay awake, or get a nap in.

I haven't been to town, on my own, since my last doctor visit?  Or close.  It was good, if rather harsh under the circumstances.  I'd like to get out again, soon.  Need groceries.  Could look for a new coffee pot.  I need powdered onion.  Yeah.  Plus, just to shower, shave, dress properly... all good.  Wearing jeans after wearing pj's for months is a bit rough.  But... so be it.

Impressed.

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I made it.  I had an appointment this morning.  Sleep is off, and with the effort yesterday, I... didn't think so.  I was only able to sleep at nearly two, or was it three.  Very tired but was jacked from all the excitement.  Oh, right, I didn't post about that yet?  I'll get to it... soon.

I tried to be up by five, but seven as a true hail Mary.  I... had my doubts.  But I did make it.  Up, showered, with fresh clothes on, and out by eight.  I was hoping the roads were good.  Good?  They were actually great.  Plus, no tourist, of any sort, drivers.  The only peeps out were there because they had to be.  I was there easily an hour early while that lead is usually lean.

A new doc.  He didn't really care about anything but setting up scripts and readings.  I realize I am just a money dump, through meds, for the hospital.  They have no interest in helping me get on my feet or finding the problem.  Which... I have realized a few things.  It is time.

It is time to shit or get off the pot.  On my next visit I am going to give them a choice.  Either they can look for a physical problem or, if this is as good as it gets, I stop taking medicine.  At this point it is keeping me alive, but just.  I am almost always in pain, can't care for my home or food well, or work, or even play.

Some might say stopping medicine is suicide.  I don't believe that.  As a Catholic, and devoted, suicide is not allowed.  However, ending extenuated lifesaving actions, allowing natural events to follow their course, after legitimate effort and sacrifice, is allowed.  I think thirty years is a fair offering.  If this is as good as they can do, it's not enough.

I had hoped to do a few things on the way home but I am absolutely exhausted, in pain, and shutting down.  I am only writing this as I have to come down before I can crash.  I'll feed the critters next, then sleep as long or short as needed.  Life isn't fair, but absolute cruelty is too much.  I probably won't even die all that quickly.  But I won't have to deal with hateful medical.  I can die in peace.

Some of it.

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I wasn't sure.  Things to do.  Didn't seem possible.  Stuck.  Still, got out there last night.  Got started.  The old battery won't do, definitely not in the winter.  Cold cranking amps.  Though probably not in warm weather.  It drops to 90% overnight, then keeps losing.  But the new battery works.  The choke cord needs to be adjusted though.

As I was getting to it, help arrived.  Got to town as well, with help.  The debit card is set, the phone is set back up, and the driveway is clear.  There was six to eight inches on it, at least, from several snows past.  I wouldn't have been able to drive out, as thought before.  Good thing I got to it.  A stuck car would have been another problem.

Meds are on course.  A shower this morning.  Fresh clothes, they will get heated as I shower.  The cats and ducks need fed on my way to waking.  Best get going.  Later.

Not improving.

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Taking little steps back.  Adding a headache to the list.  A twist in the neck too.  Perhaps the cause?  Medicine is staying on track.  One more small increase and it will be to full dose.  I still feel as if I had died, and was still in some odd purgatory or limbo.  I believe I have seen that, but before flesh.  I can only guess what living there after receiving a body would be like.  But... it would be a perfected body.  However, a perfected body outside the perfection of heaven?

So foggy, confused, tired, achy, and sore.

I baked chicken last night.  I tried a new trick, using baking soda along with my usual spices, as a coating.  Your mileage may vary, but for me no dice.  It made the skin, as it cooled, inedible.  I think I overcooked it a bit.  But that is a common infraction for me.  At least a hot meal was enjoyed, generally.

I have the old battery in the lawn tractor, ready to go.  If it fails, I will put the new one in.  The goal is to dig out today.  More snow recently.  Adding to a small amount that was down.  Still, rather powdery.  I had meant to just shovel through, but couldn't get far.  I don't think that is the cause of the problems, just a result of them.  It was best to shovel open the small first area anyway.

I forgot to turn the furnace down last night.  It does feel good, if a bit too warm at 72°F.  Can't win, sometimes.  Yesterday was the best day in a long time for not freezing.  I actually do wonder if whatever health issues I have don't induce something closer to hibernation, in the high winter and high summer.  All I get is a bit of spring and fall.  It's just how it goes.

Blood sugar was 182 fasting this morning.  It seems keto won't work, always, if undereating while being inactive.

Waking was difficult.

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It wasn't remaining exhaustion.  Actually that is slipping away.  The mind is still foggy... medicine does that.  It isn't exhaustion, two different problems.  To a small degree, it was pain.  I knew my ribs, midsection/organs, and legs would hurt.  And they do.  But the worst part of waking lately is the cold.

I am cold.

The furnace is set at 72°F.  I tried 74°, 76°, even 78°.  All feel about the same.  My legs hurt because of the perceived cold, actually.  I can't warm up.  Blood sugar broke above 200 for the first time since being off insulin.  But it shouldn't have.  I have been doing extreme keto.  I'm not sure what the problems are.

More snow.  I checked the old battery.  Better.  I may use it, see if it will hold.  If not, I may attempt a second salvage charge.  It is near it's life use, and yet, sometimes they last longer.  I hate wasting.  I will be the only one using it from now on.  And I am locking down the cave fully, since trust can't be had.  Bleh.

Best get to the ducks, then try to get the plow going.  It is around 28° out there but seems so much colder.  High humidity?  Dunno.  Hmm, I need to wake first.

Some have it worse?

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I had to think about it.  This guy was at least receiving care.  But that he needed it, right?  I sometimes could really use some help while there is none.  No one says, to my face, they wish I would die.  But they think it.  Family, friends... medical.  I understand.  Going through it?  At least with him, they don't disbelieve his illness, as they do with me.

Worse?  It depends on which part of the story.  His got better.

Well, I understand as few can.  I think, pray, work rarely as able, alone but used to it.  At least there isn't the Barney thing.  And feeding can be easier for me, unless I can't clean, cook, so eat when terribly hungry.  Someone may harm and steal from me when I am unconscious, but I don't know about it.  Though, perhaps, I don't roll well enough, always, either.  I... just don't know.  Probably have had both.

Yes.  It is a dark dangerous mean world for the living dead.  I almost wish they would carry through on their thoughts.  I can't.  I made a deal with God.  I couldn't even just let them.  It's just that, quite often, I couldn't stop them.  Wouldn't even wake if they were using an axe.  Yea.

So cold and difficult.

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I should correct.  The weather isn't cold.  Well, not for me.  It isn't a weather issue.  I have the furnace up to 76° F, and I am freezing... feel cold.  I am warm, at night, with the room temps between 50° and 56°.  But once I wake, I can't just sleep more.  Laying down hurts, if awake.  It might hurt while sleeping too, just not enough to wake me.  And I dress as if for outside.  I can't really dress warmer.

I may try for a nap in a bit.  But I need to get to work, have things to prepare to do, work, and chores.  I have to get going.  A shower and shave would be good.  One battery for the little plow/lawnmower seems good.  I am attempting to revive the other battery.  I may see about starting the plow tonight.  I need to open the driveway.

I noticed a funny.  A cat had pathed by my home.  Most likely, by size of tracks, a tom.  As he got near the window along the length of the drive, he made a cat angel in the snow.  It's an odd thing, but... I am quite sure he was interacting with the ladies.  I wondered why Sam was yeowling.  Her food is good, water is fresh, litter is excellent... but, yes, she likes flirting with her toms.

As well, in the back yard, I had a dog through.  It's the first dog I have seen in a while, dog tracks that is.  And, yes, he went in to look at the ducks.  He pathed through once and was gone.  He came after the cat, which pathed that way but not for the ducks and in the opposite direction.  Sam and the toms leave pheromone Valentines out back.  The toms know where to get some eyecandy, too.

I am pretty sure that means the dog was there this morning.  By Sam's howling, I'd guess the tom was by between three and five.  I just get a sense the dog was through well after the cat.  If it comes back I'll have to discourage it somehow.  Sassy lets me know when people are here, if I notice.  Wish she would let me know of other critters.

Rough.

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My left side hurts, like after sprints from the first week of football or basketball season.  Only as if I got a week off.  It's been that way for nearly a week.  I don't get it.  I am very tired too.  That might just be medicine.  I have been taking heart medicine quite well for some time, but am still a 3.125 mg pill from full dose.  I'll go up the final pill next week.  Ugh.  I don't think I have missed a dose since restarting?  But I am off insulin.  I am out.  I have reordered.  It will be two to four weeks after max meds before I can have a chance at not being perpetually exhausted.  But it is coming.

From exhaustion to being oddly frigid all the time, I suspect the heart medicine combined with the lack of insulin.  The side tearing/burning?  I don't know.  If I can be awake, push through otherwise, I will try to work anyway.  Not sure that is possible.  A goal though.

Beside those problems, there are local issues and money issues.  I am going to have to return the car.  I simply can't afford it.  I bought it thinking SSA was sure to return my income when made aware of their mistake.  Or that the V.A. could, would, help.  Nope.  That income is gone.  Probably politics, but it doesn't matter why.

That will allow me to catch up, but not keep up.  So... other... considerations...  Things I don't want to contemplate are right there in front of me.  Whether I can sort the house out, then hold on long enough to sell it, or whether I'll just have to walk away, I don't know.

Trying to sleep, eat, think... too much.  At some times in life, no matter who you know, with family... you are completely alone in things.  I will be looking at the best way to do things.  A call, then drop the vehicle off?  A letter?  A legal type writ?  It's gotten ugly.  Could get worse quickly, easily.

It looks like at least one of the lawn tractor batteries is dead.  Will check the other shortly.  I may try reconditioning the dead one, but it dropped 30% charge overnight.  Bleh.  Always something else.  At least this wasn't my doing, other than to wrongly trust.

More than a bit angry.

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Again, I found a key in the lawn tractor ignition and the battery dead.  I went to plow the snow out there.  Obviously not possible.  As well, I had three keys.  I am down to one.  Meaning one was removed from my personal keys.  That is that.  It is no longer available for use.  Abuse a trust you get what you get.

I should be in bed.  But without thinking about it, I stretched into the late checking charging.  I had hoped to get the battery filled and back in.  It just got too late.  Beyond a certain hour, rather early around here, loud noises are out, generally.  I needed to get to town.

Oh well.  It's almost three.  Time to hit it.  The battery is charged.  But I haven't put it back in.  Bedtime.  Yea, angry.

Today is the day!

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However...

When I went to set privacy, I had options I didn't realize.  Four folk were given access last time.  That is already set up.  Further, I think I could add access to any others.  It seems straightforward.  If you want access, or on a different email, let me know.  -  I will keep open one more week to get that done.

The addies I have are foamarama, mindfists22, setebos1956, and james, mostly at g mail, save Desert Cat's on a private.  I will allow those and any other who request, save edu, gov, or such.  I will allow .mil but wouldn't advise using that one... unless you are in or of psyops and can talk mice out of cheese, without a trap.  :p

I will not blog about local events, just my hermitage events.  Until closure is asserted.

Music?  Maybe.

One last gig before I go.

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Popping like popcorn, adding simply, like it or not.  A few for the road.

Still frigid.

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I set the furnace to 74°.  Hot fatted coffee and four... actually six to eight hours later, and I am still freezing cold.  I keep almost falling asleep.  I checked several thermometers, all suggest it really is 74° in here.  I will take a hot shower, see if that will help.  I did push the furnace a few more degrees.  Miserably cold.  Another trick, winter setting on the ceiling fan... but how do you know?

It is just me.  If it was cold the girls would be heat vulturing me.

Yeah, a shower.  Then something to eat.  If I can get to it, more... a load of dishes set up?  Hmm, better open a place to sort them.  Then set them up.  I could also get one load of laundry through yet tonight?  Probably.  Ugh.  So cold, when by inside and out readings, it should be copacetic.

Later.  If not, goodbye.

The tub, again.

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The drain is working well.  Or better.  So I wanted to do another scrub in there.  The drill, a large brush fitting, and scrubbing bubbles.  As well, a small pool of hot water.  Then just let the machine fly, after giving the chemicals an half hour to do what they do.  Not perfect but better.

I have looked for ways to clean better.  The truth is that is probably as good as cleaning will do.  Anything else will strip the metal.  The only way to actually improve the tub would require a process, one possible to do at home... diy that is.  It isn't cheap, but is possible... in time.  Once I get caught up, a project in this price range every other month might be the way to go?  Anyway... a vid.

Tending the ducks, it seemed so very cold.  The thermometer read 26° to 28°, which simply didn't make sense.  That, to my mind, is what I consider warm.  I thought, by feel, it would read 10° to -10° F.  No wind, sort of, no gusts.  But it is as if the air is moving as a block... not what I would call wind, more like a current?  A very odd event.  Further, it is freezing in here, as if the heat is being stolen, and it probably is.

I'll turn up the heat.  The hope is to begin small batches of dishes, get another shower, start on boxes, shave, and hit the trash.  Perhaps a load of laundry?  It won't be all that.  Very small attacks on a very large list.  But with the bathroom set up, open, and clean, life can begin again.  If I can warm.  If it is 75° and I can't warm, it is health failing. Nothing I can do.

As I was closing up shop...

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I finally reviewed finances, if rather roughly, last night.  I forgot one bill, at least.  But was rather blocky when counting.  Money is, to say the least, tight.  Further, I am behind on several accounts.  It... will take a month, or three of great care and some luck, to catch everything up.  I will begin soon.

Even when caught up, it will be extremely tight.  I thought about trying for a job, but with my schedule shifting as much as twelve hours a week, especially when tiring myself as prep, travel, and the function of a job would exacerbate that... I might make a paycheck, perhaps two.  I've done this rodeo before.  Even college, with just a few classes four days a week, with showering most days first and travel, homework and test stress...  I couldn't keep up.  Even ritalin couldn't always push me over the line.

I don't think I could handle ritalin now.  It was like trying to use rocket fuel in a propeller plane, for me, back then.  Far from becoming an addiction, it was a horror to take.  I... never could take it daily, every day.  Every three day weekend I went without, every holiday I could go without, I did.  A few times a week when I absolutely couldn't get going, or knew I 'had to' do things, more if I could take them.  If I needed down time, I wouldn't touch the stuff for a week or however long needed.  Brutal.  My physical body is truly mostly dead.  Nothing will undo that.  Nothing can sneak me past it.

So, no other stream of income actually possible, it's... down to... very few options.  To be honest, selling the cave, then renting, wouldn't save all that much.  As little privacy and security as I have now, even that would decrease.  Finding a place, with two cats, is impossible.  So... just leaving them.  And, more, trying to sell the house as things are?  Only economic propagandists believe the economy is good, improving.  Anyone in what had been the middle class knows our spending power is closer to the working poor than anything like even the dregs of the former middle class we had been a party.  Gold isn't going up in value, the dollars which purchase it are drowning in their increased volume.  Even then, gold is being kept from actual market value by central planners, because if it were allowed to tell the real economic story about inflation WWIII would happen so fast people would get whiplash right before they became toast.

Yea.  So... my problems aren't... all that.  Still, double double toil and trouble.  It is what I have to my lot.  The world elite are too busy thieving and backstabbing for what will end as a pretty sparkle of space dust and lure for the hellbound than to deal with... anyone else's problems.  Cold, dark, dangerous, and treacherous.  I had missed one.

Did it, again.

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In spite of the realization that The world I knew is gone.  That the horde, through betrayal by every type of elite we have, has won.  It is just a, hopefully, slower end of all of the West.  I got some of my chores finished.  It is difficult realizing even doctors are foreign more than not.  Not as an equality thing, merely because they will do... especially to Americans, what actual Americans wouldn't.  Eliminations.

It isn't just Democrats at this point.  It isn't even just GOPe, or neocons.  The differences are fiction, at this point.  Just another circus.  Anyway.

No dishes.  But the tub was cleaned as well as possible.  Then the whiskers were trimmed.  Finally a shower was had.  Oh, I set up a nest area for Sam.  I used to have a chair in there.  She, with it, could get up to a fourth level drawer.  I removed the chair for various reasons.

She kept begging for... something.  I just, I couldn't focus!  Finally, today, I remembered, was in there, could sort of think.  So it got done.  I wondered if it was too high, at a third level, so got a small step-piece set up.  She actually seemed insulted.  She really needs it.  Bleh.  Women!  She will eventually go the easy way.

I am absolutely finished.  So tired and a bit sore that sleep might be difficult.  I had to turn the furnace to 74° to warm, which allowed me to get going.  Half way through I had to turn it down.  Still too hot, but it will settle shortly.  Oh, one more day and it will be time to shut it all down.  I think I can, will.

It seems so cold, dark, dangerous.

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I called to order medicine.  Then to schedule.  My former doc told me they would be calling to reschedule... Monday.  He had called to check on me?  Say goodbye?  No one called.  I had all but forgotten.  Calling about medicine reminded me.  I believe everything is arranged.

I received flak about missing appointments.  I cancelled one, but did miss the other.  The first time I called, I was transferred to a line that rang but was never picked up and didn't go to message.  Punishment, I assume.  When I called back it sounded like the same guy.  I suggested he not do that again.  Why would he care anyway?  He should be more concerned that a vet can't make an appointment due to illness than that an appointment was missed.  Bureaucrats!

After, I called my mom.  They are having an exceptional winter.  It's in the 50's!  I've never heard of that, at this date, in Iowa.  Not ever to my memory.  Unless she was joking?  I'll look it up after.  This year seems colder than usual, but maybe it isn't.  Last year seemed far nicer.  Can't trust the weather news, I've noticed they change past reports.  Not all, but some.

Other than that, she seems well.  Especially considering I woke her from a nap.  I told her I was freezing despite having the furnace up and being well dressed, at least for indoors.  The wind, she said.  We don't have much today, but more than usual?  She may be right.  It's 21° or 22°, but feels colder, outdoors and in.

Sore again this morning.

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This time it was earned.  Mostly snow removal.  I never did get to the tub.  Or anything else.  Still, not a bad run yesterday.  My back is rough, and organs are a bit ginger.  That is as it should be when pulling a ship out of extended mothballing.  I still plan to work and make calls today.  The tub, then a shower, and some dishes... in small manageable batches.  Perhaps a slow start on boxes.

It's a beautiful day, but frigid, especially after being above freezing yesterday.  It's a darned good thing I got the snow and slush off.  It was about 12° F this morning.  Oddly, the duck's water was not very thickly frozen.  So much so that they had easily opened it this morning.  It suggests the hard freeze didn't happen until recently.  Another possibility is that someone changed their water this morning, before I got to it?

The strange thing is that both last night and this morning their water was very clean.  I might even dare call it pristine.  A very strange thing for ducks, who drink, bath, and 'go' in the same water.  Perhaps, overnight, they sensed the hard cold so eshewed the water from instinct.  But yesterday was well above freezing even by the later water change.  Very odd.

Sleep was good.  Again.  I had to totally reset blankets after the spinning yesterday night.  Amazing how twisted, cocoon like, they were.  I also dreamed.  I was the daughter, of a middling wealthy merchant, somewhere coastal on the south of what is now Europe.  Odd that even our poor have easier lives than the rich back then. Even kings... the best they could do was move from greater to lessor misery, as possible.  Just having antibiotics is a miracle, for as long as they still work.  If it doesn't help that governments are weaponizing bio enemies on top of all else though.

An interesting dream.  Don't know how factually based it was, but... seemed... right.  Such dreams ensure my satisfaction with being a man.  The neurosis common to being female... or worse... has roots in the simple reals.  If they are properly protected, they are caged.  If they aren't, they become simple permanent victims.  The world isn't fair.  Less so for women, and it only gets less so with age, more so and more quickly, for them.  Yea, I definitely am glad I can stand to pee!

I best get fresh tea going.  I have a timer set to feed the girls.  Perhaps hit their litter after setting tea to go.  Then spend time waking before hitting the tub?  A shower after cleaning.  A whisker trim too, soon.  Getting better, mostly, if that is beating me up.  Something about returning to life really hurts.  I do wonder if Lazarus, when called from the tomb, suffered as well... at least in the waking portion.  Ugh, but quickening is brutal.

I did it!

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It busted me up a bit.  I used a shovel, the snowblower, and the plow, then salted a few areas.  I had to shovel to get the snowblower out, which allowed me to move the suv, which allowed me to get the plow out.  It could have been done differently but not as well or efficiently.

The snowblower really does handle slush, very well.  If it ices that is another thing... only heavy salting, perhaps a big people plow, and time will work ice sheets.  I had to get to it or have an iced driveway.  Shoveling is the most difficult.  The snowblower really takes it out of you.  Though with long passes it would be much better.  I was clearing a ten by fifteen yard area... a pain to have to turn almost as soon as I got going, or reverse.  The plow was the easiest, but still takes it out of a guy.

When finished I was done.  I still have to feed and water the ducks and cats again, hit the litter again, eat something, and maybe hit, as in clean, the tub.  I have hit it with scrubbing bubbles several times since last night, but forgot to do more... or ran out of energy.  I also tried heavy duty drain cleaner several days ago, but it doesn't seem to have done any better than anything else.  Nothing works well, or quickly.

I will be wiped by the end of the day.  Oh, I did two other things yesterday.  I cleaned the toilet well.  It was pretty good, just... a bit too bachelor.  I have found a trick to both stand to pee and not be too messy.  I don't do it every time, and nothing is perfect.  A pee pail/bottle, like at hospitals.  It stretches the time between cleaning.

As well, I got to my finger and toe nails.  They were hurting, the toe nails... they grow in wrong.  I've noticed for weeks, a month, probably longer.  I just couldn't figure what to do.  Seriously, it's been that bad.  Finally awake and aware, and with the time and energy yesterday!  My feet are so very happy.

A good two day run.  Oh!  Bills, pills, and maybe registration?  Tomorrow?  If I'm not in a coma.  Seriously.  Pushing too hard.

Good, bad, ugly.

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Sleep was fantastic.  I did have to wake and reset blankets.  Different problem this time.  Rather than removed and set in piles, it was as if a fish trying to twirl out of nets.  I didn't remember twisting and turning but... that happens.  It was hell to get out and reset, I could barely wake to do so.  Oofta.  Still, it was an excellent sleep.  I hadn't actually gotten cold yet.  So no suffering other than having to wake a bit.  Sometimes that isn't a problem, sometimes it really is.

I did wake really late, three to four hours later than usual.  I often slip an hour or two, when I  start slipping.  Or twelve or more.  This was an odd amount.  Whatever.  I woke with my organs feeling like redheaded step children... blue on black.  It has mostly faded, mostly.

I am doing enough better so as to feed, water, and else, for all, not just more regularly but better.  Cat litter is back to twice daily.  As well, I tore into the water fountain for the girls.  I had realized how bad that was recently, so started offering them a large bowl, changing it daily.  I finally cleared, cleaned, and reset their fountain today.  They really love that with the carbon filter and large supply, when it is kept up.

The ducks got hungry enough to break down and eat the new stuff.  They tore through three days of feed quickly.  I am holding of giving them more until later today.  Two much simply isn't wise.  I am hoping to try the snow blower today.  Slushy snow.  Above freezing.  Scary to leave out.  It would ice over terribly.  Not sure how I would chip that off, out.

Getting slightly better.

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I think the delay is due to being dazed and confused.  Though... who knows.  My mind might be changing?  It... can do that when coming out of such devastating psychic darkness.  Still, it is probably still planned, when I can think to do it.  Such a brutal existence lately.

Yesterday was a record day.  I reset medicine in time to take them without pushing.  That itself was something.  But, seeing... troubles... I texted for help.  I ran out of duck feed.  I had to beg, but...  Wouldn't for myself, but for the critters I will.  He also wanted to work on the lawn tractor, and see about the snow blower... put "paddles" on the impellers.

I mixed up when he would arrive.  I finally was able to realize that if I couldn't do the dishes, or right away, I could at least drain them so as to shower.  It is so difficult when even the mind is in fog and shadow.  Anyway, that didn't work either.  The drain decided, at that moment, to stop working!  Or go so slow as to be all the same.

Still, a sitz bath.  Right as I was into it, he arrived.  Had to talk-shout through the door, but it all worked.  I never ended up being much help, but made it out to help on the last of one and then the other task.  And got the bag of feed offloaded and in the feed bin, plus fed the quackles.

I was absolutely shot by the time we were done.  Getting dizzy just from standing that long and in the cold.  I am keeping medicines the same one more week, then putting an extra 3.125 mg in at night.  The next refill will include one of those added both medicine times.  It is what it takes, if it is nearly six times what my uncle used.  Yeah, it is harsh.  Anyway...

I did get that.  Oh, and cat litter.  By the way, where the compressed newspaper pellets absolutely failed, the wood pellets work perfectly.  The girls are learning to poop in the standard stuff but pee in the wood pellets.  I may keep using the crystal stuff, for one of the three pans.  It is both more affordable as a group and it isn't such a large purchase requirement per month.  And the girls seem happy.