I feared another thing tonight.

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Have you ever left something, for what you know to be too long, either out, or even in the fridge.  And, you knew, it was going to be at least a minor mess.  Though, given the time involved, it might well be a terrible one?  Now, what if you did both of those.

I had something in the instapot, and something in the fridge.  Both have been sitting... for a while.  I finally bit the bullet, and tore into them.  And?  Not... bad.  Not bad at all.  No gagging involved, not troubles dealing with it.  No fuss or difficulties.  Everything had been managed, and the pots were cleared and that tossed, and then the pots have been set to a soak.  Easy as pie.  I think the thing is, they were airtight.  Amazing.

I have the burger frying.  And, shortly, will cook all of the ground meats.  There is just so much room in the pan.  As well, after that and dinner, I will finish the pots and get a pork roast in and going.  Nothing fancy, but it works.  I'm not sure what veggies I have.  I may make some of those instant potatoes.  They aren't great, but they haven't caused major diabetes issues.  Then again, it's half a pack, and rare to have as well.  Might add corn, or hominy, to the potatoes?  Maybe.

The roast will just be allowed to cook and cool overnight.

It is sure cooling off, or feels like it.  It is reading 74, but if feels cooler.  I haven't checked out of doors recently.  Oddly, it sure feels like a reasonable night.  Heck, even the girls are climbing on me.  If it is too hot, they won't.  I should sleep well, when I can sleep.  Later. 

Cooler.

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Better cooling, so far.  Still not exactly cool.  Probably about as good as it will get.  It is in the mid 70's in this the front room.  Lower 70's everywhere else.  Fans going, cooler outside... 64 if I just read right, and with a strong breeze to wind from time to time.  Something moving, in the air.  Dust, or... something.  Rather odd.  Ash?  Who knows.

Something about kefir, is that while it is variable, there comes a point where a particular glass jar becomes too potent.  I can drink straight, hard, kefir, almost to the undrinkable stage.  But there really is a point when it becomes far too sour, or strong, or... something.  I had two jars, which hadn't been cleaned in... a month?  Three?  Yeah.  The rest are rather fresh.  I hated wasting, but there is nothing else I can do with it.

I don't strain the kefir.  I just let it grow.  Drink the jar, and eat some of the grains, down to about a sixth to a quarter from empty, then fill it to the three quarters mark with milk, and then let the ferment until it is done.  THEN, put fill it to top it off with more milk, and give it about two days in the refrigerator as it cycles through the other jars to it's turn to be consumed again.

The process continues on through.  I had, I think, six jars in the rotation, until these two were pulled, dumped, and will be cleaned and restarted soon.  To get more kefir grains, I don't save the old, bitter.  I just don't drink the next jar or two down as far as usual, and pull some of that out.  It seems to work well.  But, no, the old kefir just... once it reaches a certain point, I haven't found a way to make it sweet again.  Perhaps washing it... rinsing it... in water, then setting it fresh milk on the counter, then doing that a few times?  I just haven't had luck, and this other way works perfectly well.

I need to eat.  So, I best get to cooking!  I am hoping to cook and eat quickly, then get on to bed earlier.  I have the upstairs open too, and one fan going there.  Might get another fan for up there.  It is a bit warm, for being shut today, but the cool seems to be entering much quicker up there than even down here.

And, yes, I did go out and check on the critters.  Oddly, they are a lot less jumpy... no pun intended... in the dark than in the day.  Odd creatures.  Or, maybe, they are just getting used to me.  The mouse is still in the house, in the tub.  Not happy about it, not one bit.  I need to get one or two of those set up outside.  Though with water in them.  I found another mouse in the food.  Seeing signs.  Yes, I... want to get rid of mice.  The trap downstairs catches a new... or old... one every few weeks.  I try to remember to go down and check, often.  So far, no dead mice found.

Anyway... food and more cooling, gaming.  It's about all I can do.

One last thing.  I did start, finally, the new medicine.  A different type of heart medicine.  Oh, I was in trepidation, boys and girls.  I have had the worst experience with medication.  I have tried everything they could think, or much of it, for years.  Even what I am on is crushing me.  But... it works.  So, it was with great fear that I started.

One day tells me nothing.  But, nothing too terribly bad had happened, yet.  I may be of little faith, but even Christ showed rather than argued.  And, whether it was the medicine, or the heat of late, is too soon to tell, but an half hour to hour after taking the medicine, blood pressure had come down to 144/97, if pulse is 91.  But, that may or may not be what is doing anything.  And that pulse is simply ugly.

Later, or good night.

A few things of mind.

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A term I had forgotten.  Not the meaning, only the pronunciation?  Or... the word itself?  How to lose a word about losing oneself to find oneself?  To take "forever" to shoot an arrow is to become a master.  Time, really, isn't what it seems.  It never was.  Some see it, know it, even do it.  Most do not.  Do not believe in time.

Couldn't find Sam.

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At her age, if I can't find her, I worry.  Just a bit.  She has had a splendid long life.  And, hopefully, had some good human and animal relations.  Still, I will miss her if she goes first.  I was sure she was outside.  A walk around didn't rouse her.  Probably napping, somewhere.  She loves her naps, in or out.

I fed Sassy, indoors, as she won't go out.  Then gamed a bit.  I went back out a bit later.  It has cooled to 74 outside already.  Anyway, this time she came to the door.  Hungry.  Good timing.  After feeding her, I noticed the neighbor was by.  Waved and... went to see if he was in a mood to talk.  He was.

He is one of the workingest lads I have met, even from my time.  He had three jobs, if one of them is almost eating him whole... over 90 hours this week?  Can that be right?  I think so.  On that one job.  He works a weekend, here or that, at a hardware store, and does a small night job.  Crazy.  Just in the summer, usually.  In the winter he goes back to a 9 to 5 sort, unless extra somehow becomes available.  Well, plus he helps me?  Yea.  I do feel bad.  So, I... gift him as I may.  Shoes, boots, work clothes, toys, and tools, from time to time.  Well, and help when he can use it.

A bit of conversation.  Finding out what is going on, how life is doing, about work.  Oh, and I loaned him my super-duper cooler.  If he likes it, thinks it works enough better, he may get one himself.  And I have bottled water coming in.  I am offering him some of the perrier, a few cases this year, to try to get him off soda.  As I told him, it's my beer replacement.  It definitely ISN'T beer, or really like it.  But that isn't the whole point.  Even a soda a day is killing you.  Three is a fast track.  And a six pack is brutal on your body.

Anyway.  A good talk.  Then noticed it was down to 74~75.  But that is cooler than in here.  So, on my way in, I opened the place up.  Hmm... I should get up stairs, and open that up too.  Clouding over is helping, in the evening.  Surprised it is still doing that.  Take what you can get.

Ah!  I need to get my hammock set up, and see if I can sleep out there.  Let the house hang.  I have yet to drill the holes and place the eyebolts.  But... tomorrow?  Maybe yet tonight.  Yea.  Oh, and something to eat, if not quite yet.  Meats are thawed, so all I need to do is cook them.  Burger, and other ground meats, for a crumble thing.  Maybe an egg casserole.  And a pork roast is ready.  Those should keep me feed for the week, or nearly.

Later.

People have the stangest notions.

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The other day, on someone's blog, I noticed someone purporting to be a Christian (not sure if Catholic, literally) suggesting that God was going to fix the world, if we just hold the faith.  I about died.  I put a comment in, suggestion God will do no such thing.

What about "This is not my kingdom", does anyone not get.  In the end, after many tribulations, Christ may rule here for a while.  The end times are very uncertain things.  But that will be just... what... closing up shop?  And, only after trials and tribulations which will see most Christians broken or murdered.  The last army of Christ will be remnants of men who were fallen but called and came to Him.  They won't be great Christians who survived, in good will, and turned into an army.  Christians will know what the Jews knew, in Germany.  Heck, they are setting up their demise, here and there, as I write.  If that type will succeed, only God knows.  It might be on His schedule, but it is ultimately left to man to decide when death for the many, most, is at hand.

Believe or not, the greatest evil isn't being done by non-believers, atheists.  It is being done by the churches and men of them.  I am not sure if it is an attempt to bring about the return of Christ, but it is a Judas thing.  They know what they are doing, and mean it.

God is not going to show up and set things right.  If I don't, if you don't, if we don't ignore, resist, live right lives, etc... but even that will not spare us when the time comes.  A martyr, an exile, with nothing, perhaps in our own lands?  This is what will happening.  It is what is being planned, implemented.

But, too, as I said?  Do not let these things concern you.  Pray, unrelentingly.  Pray devoutly.  Live as a saint.  Do not worry.  Live or die for God, without much else being of concern.  Even in torture, look to God.  I am not telling you anything I don't know, do.  I live, at His command.  In spite of decades of physical tortures, hatred poured on my head for any and no reason, and a feeble body which looks strong but is just a shadow.  I don't ask, or suggest, anything I don't, haven't, won't, wouldn't endure.  But don't think God is going to fix Biden, or the current or probably future pope, or... anything.  If you don't fix it, no one will.

I was much more brief.  And, even so, my comment was not allowed to pass.  I... understand.  Most Christians, Catholic or otherwise, aren't ready for even the simple truths.  This world is up to us.  If we fail, no one is going to fix our mess.  Not even so called harsh ones wish to have their weak little friends crushed or bothered with hard truths, I guess.

Can it be fixed?  Can sin be forgiven?  Yes.  But, ultimately, not here.  Amen.

Awake, finally.

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It is not just warm, it is rather hot.  The ac and a fan can make it seem cool, cool enough to use a blanket, but it was 75~76 up there.  It was 83 in this the front room, 74 the next room over, and more like 70~72 in the back areas.  Going back there would just heat the back areas, so that isn't a real solution.

Sleep was good.  A little short.  But given the heat and light?  It's not bad.

Again, blood sugar is very high.  But I... got it to between 58 and 106, and it stayed in that range well after my last meal.  It just doesn't make sense.  Did I forget slow acting?  I don't think I did.  What is going on?  I don't know.  All I can do is keep doing what is supposed to work.

First things first.  Sam wanted out.  Okay.  And, I figured, I'd best get right on chores or I never would.  Only one rabbit needed more... two... water.  The ducks are good, four ducklings remain... getting larger nearly every day.  Could be gone tomorrow.  Oh, and it was just at 84.  Clouds have come in again, if last I looked, not threatening rain at all.

Way too hot.  And I don't have a way to do much more than what I am doing.  I received a strange notification, that I will be receiving $1400?  To amend the $600 up to $2000, as had been promised.  But, after the last debacle, I'll believe it when I see it.  Can't believe anything they say, certainly not when they say it.  I don't count on that money.  Should it ever arrive, I may shop for an bigger ac unit, for somewhere downstairs.  As large as 15 amp will handle.  Then take out a defunct window, creating a shelf and enclosure for it.  One which can be tightened, be removable, and with an empty middle area for insulation?  I could hope.

One downstairs, maybe two upstairs.  Or put the other little one somewhere else in the house, downstairs?  This is a bit warm, for anybody.  Certainly for someone who is just trying to live simply until death do he depart.

I should get to the cats.  Food, water, liter.  I take stuff out for Sam.  Make sure she has water too, and check that occasionally.  As well, I like to at least look in on the other critters, from time to time.  Just... to see.  I really need to make a rabbit corral, for them to romp in from time to time... enough for several at a time... say four with room?  Or craft a critter tractor sort of thing, mobile, caged in, and under to a degree, with a shaded area.  Uhrm, at least when lumber prices aren't being manipulated to the stratosphere.  I'm not buying a damned piece of wood until they stop with the thievery.

Well, some gaming in the other room, until I can cool just a bit anyway.  And wake up.  Then some cleaning in the bathroom and kitchen, plus cooking.  Later.

To 10:30.

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Not going to make it an inch further.  The house is hot, getting hotter.  It just didn't cool much, and couldn't get much of that in.  The ac has been working for a while.  Hopefully that will be cool enough up there.  I'm falling down.  Good morning, day, and night.

Not really all that cool.

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I couldn't sleep.  Too warm, all night.  I did turn the ac on upstairs, but... kept waiting for the world to cool down here... until finally realizing it wasn't going to.  It got to 74, pretty much everywhere, as the low.  Outside was down to, I think 57.  It is up to 64 just now.

Ducks were given water, and feed, a bit after actual dawn.  I sometimes watch them, after feeding them.  It is... entertaining?  Relaxing?  In any case, I found out what happened to the waterer.  The indian runner drake was chasing one of the muscovy hens.  She flew up on the hutch, right about where the waterer had been knocked down.  Now, as to why the waterer got dragged through the mud and muck under the cages?  Either Henry, in his amour or anger probably tackled and attacked it generally.  All speculation, but... it all fits.  Now I know, I am most certain.

Blood sugar has, oddly, been quite good.  After the jump to over 200, I had one dose of insulin, and then had several meals otherwise.  It has remained between 58 as the low (after taking insulin), then as high as 106 before dropping a few points.  I was monitoring a bit closer after it dropped to 58 and I had to eat, and ate several, three I think, times.  Mostly kefir, if also brats and sauerkraut.

I may finish of the last two bratwursts.  Tasty things.  And, given the very extended, again, long day, I don't mind eating a bit more.  If you stay up thirty six hours, I guess you will have more meals.  One way or another.  And I am hungry.  Not... physically, for sure, this time.  If not actually mentally either.  This is... more like a knowledge that I should eat.  Not even a true hunger.  It might be mistaken, but I believe.

I'll get the rabbits in a bit.  I'd actually like to wait until 10:00, and see where the temps are.  If it is sharply warm out there by then, I'd add frozen bottles to the cages.  If not, I might check later.  I'll probably be crashing around noon, though if I can make it to 15:00, or even 17:00, I will.  And, just check on critters through the day.  The mid 90's can be okay, but they can be brutal, too.

Ah, yes, food.  I think I took medicine for this morning.  I'll check as I prep some food.  I have been taking that flawlessly.  Only slow acting insulin gets taken late a bit often.  As my days stretch, memory and function can fail.  And I generally take the slow acting stuff at bedtime, so... forget that bedtime, or night, or whatever, has passed.  Until I remember.

On to checking the vinegar hopeful starts.  I did get the cherry and pear vinegars in and brewing.  I just shake, burp, add water if needed, and taste every other or third day.  I won't be tasting new or old for a few more days.  I'm not sure this stuff will work.  But it's a kick to try something knew.  Not sure I will learn much?  Success or fail, it's... not always about that... solely.  If too, learning isn't always quite so active, fancy, flashy, or such.  It just... means... something inside your mind has changed.  And, perhaps, doing something knew and different, win or lose, is changing something in my mind.

Later, or good night.  And good morning.  

It really isn't cooling off much at all.

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A bit more than a quarter after 01:00, and it is still 65 out there.  No breeze.  Whatever passed through kept on going.  No moisture, I think even the clouds are gone.  Still, it was a nice break.  And cooled things off a good deal ahead of nightfall.  Some rain would have been nice.  But... it really is past that time of year.  We have been fortunate to get some just here lately, before it went hot.

Brats were q'ed.  'Kraut is being heated.  Mix and match.  I was sure my blood sugar would be a bit high.  At 58, last time I checked, I had to eat something.  And, now, I'm having another meal.  Kefir won't quite fill the gap, but it seems to extend so the crash doesn't continue.  It buys me time.  Time enough to get a more substantial food going.

Several meat packages are being thawed.  Burger, ground turkey, ground pork, and a pork sausage, along with the brats which were cooked.  The other meats just weren't close to being thawed.  And, as mentioned, I don't care for meats cooked in the instapot from a frozen state.  They just don't do the best.  You can.  You can do lots of things.  I wouldn't recommend all or even most of what you can do.

So tired.  I am going to try to sleep when finished with dinner.  Hmm, might turn the ac on upstairs.  The windows are open, but...  If I can sleep, all good.  I'll set the alarm for early.  I did get out and check the critters several times through the day.  All is looking well.  But in heat like thins, I am certain things can die easily.

Strangely, the ducks are eating more and the rabbits are eating less.  As well, the rabbits have almost stopped drinking?  Very odd.  Has me worried.  Not a lot I can do about it.  Perhaps it's their way, in the heat... just... don't move as much, or nearly at all?  I don't know.  But it does cause some minor concern, as a noob rabbetier.

Best get to dinner.  Good evening, morning, and night, possibly.

Scared me.

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The last time I went out, before just now, I saw Sam lying, in the grass.  She... looked dead.  I had whistled.  She hadn't stirred.  I really thought, maybe, she was dead.  As I approached, she woke.  Bones and fur, but with her mind and personality intact.  She decided it was too warm out there, and followed me in.  Yes, I keep water, and food, out there for her.  Even for a summer girl, either the speed of the heat increases, this particular day, or something, got to her.  Usually she won't come in.

I went out, just to look and see.  Something seemed... strange.  There had been clouds, floating through, by.  Big ones, some with potential, but far too scattered.  I didn't think much would come of it.  But they are gathering.  Wind has picked up.  The temp has dropped sixteen points, or more, to 80.  I still don't think we will get much, if anything.  But the cooling is appreciated.

With heat now, and electric bills rising in general, I am being very careful with things.  Even turning off one monitor, for the computer, when I play games.  I would shut the machine down, but it takes a while to load.  Same with the router.  I am keeping lights to a minimum.  Even though I have replaced all with low watt led's or such.  They still kick out some heat.  And, they still use some energy.  Fans will go, as heavily and often as needed, same with ac.  If, generally, I don't seem to need it while awake.  Just to sleep.  Some complain that ac's are loud.  Exactly!  They drown out all other noises!  I can hear trains, and trucks, cars, and motorcycles, from half the valley away.  Usually can sleep with that anyway, but would rather not.

Oh... I was filling my glucose/sugar tab tubes.  The smell!  I can smell those like an animal can smell blood.  I might even get an insulin response just from the smell, as I do with artificial sweeteners, just from the taste in spite of having no carbs!  Oh... I... have to be careful.  Addicted, it's the only word for it.  

With it cooler outside, than in the front room, I have the door open.  An experiment.  Not sure if that will end up heating the whole house, or cooling this room.  It had gotten to 83, here near the computer.  Nope, looks like it started to heat the place.  Now I know.  No matter what common sense says, sometimes you just gotta try the peculiar.  You never know, you really don't.  Like the door, helping the upstairs stay much cooler, open rather than closed.  Very peculiar, as cold air falls.  And, when I have tried it before, it failed.  If I may have had the vent to the room below closed?  All I know is... what should make sense that way, didn't.  This time.  It did for the front door, however.  Bleh.  Live and learn.

I am beginning to feel like a steam trout though.  If... you or I could imagine what such might feel like, if it could feel.  A lot of if's and imagining.  Later.

Done...

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Chores, cats, and breakfast, anyway.

It was brutal out there, for me.  And, when I walked out, I say Kay... my momma duck... all alone.  My face just crumpled.  But, then, from under the extra rabbit hutch, out popped the ducklings.  Four, still, for now.  Fed, watered, and otherwise left alone.

The rabbits look to be in good shape.  Food was gone in two of the pens, oddly.  Still, so be it.  Water wasn't even needed with all.  The walk out to the farther outbuilding was oppressive.  Just the heat.  It is bad enough in this room, at 82.  Out there is just plain nasty at 96.  At least I have the more interior of the house.  Well, and ac is doing fairly well, so far.  And that was just one unit.  Though, to be honest, I am not sure if two units do better, or somehow fight each other?  I just don't know.

Something smells heavily of ammonia.  I can't locate the smell.  If I had a tom cat, I would suspect him.  Do girl cats ever go territorial, indoors?  Perhaps I am hitting ketosis, and it is just my breath I am smelling... especially with the fans moving the air?  It is actually possible.  I tend to go back to ketosis pretty quickly.  Sometimes a carb load doesn't even throw me fully out of keto, if it does set me back to the initial stages... which does produce that bad breath, body odor, and such.  It's a strange diet.  Oh, and if going into ketosis, and it's warmer out?  That seems to exacerbate the more negative aspects.  Just... warning you.

I am playing a console game.  For now it's what I can do.  A kefir with it.  Should have taken a dose of insulin too.  Oh well, next time.  Though I am still hungry... if I can't quite tell if it is physical or mental... it's faint, but nagging.  I think I'll set a timer, for say two hours from now... which would be three hours after breakfast, then have something.

Ugh.  I need to pull meat to thaw.  Bratwursts, chicken, and a roast.  They don't need to that, fully.  Or at all.  But I prefer them thawed.  The instapot only produces so-so food when from frozen.  From thawed it seems to do a better job... to my way of thinking.  As well, I will begin a jar of cherry vinegar... starting with a pack of those dried cherries I sampled.  

One thing about that?  I needed a lot less fruit than I thought.  First, it swells... bigly.  Second, you just need about the bottom third, of the swelled fruit.  Which, means, about a quarter to half cup of dried fruit per quart?  Give or take... no more than the bottom eighth, or so, of raisins or similar.  I also add a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar, with mother, which has been shaken to add some of the mother.  Just a starter.

So far, no mold.  Though, one thing I would recommend... or not depending on how you see things?  Don't drink right out of the jar!  Gah!  People freak me out.  I almost did it too, though.  Until I realized what a huge problem that is.  No, just get a small cup.  Pour your sample into that.  Then rinse it after use and keep it right there.  Easy.

It was started at the 25th.  In theory, it will be done the 24th.  If I start the cherry vinegar today, It will be done the 4th of July.  What a kick.  Oh, I have some other fruit... pear I think.  Might as well start both of those today.  Will they be any good?  Will I like them?  Will I even find a use for them?  One thing at a time.  If nothing else, in these small amounts, I could use them for occasional vinaigrettes and other dressings, being that they can last years.

Well... on to... back to... gaming?  Bleh.  I want to work.  Don't have it in me, at the moment.  Later.

96, in the shade.

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Must be acclimating.  Right after waking, I opened up to check for packages.  Expecting some, dried fruit, for different types of vinegar starts.  They were here, as with a few other items.  But, I wasn't shocked by the heat.  Oh, noticed, but not blasted by it.

Upstairs, near me, was 70!  With one ac and the fan?  Right.  But the door to the downstairs... I left it open.  I had thought that was a failure thing, but I must have gotten that wrong?  I thought I would only be sleeping for a few hours, wanted to only be asleep for a few hours.  So, I was hoping the girls would help wake me up.

As it turns out, neither furry feline nor buzzing clock alarms could wake the sleeping giant.  Down between 06:00 and 07:00, if I can't quite remember exactly when, up at 14:00.  Between getting dressed, getting the packages from the front stoop, putting those up, and getting the machine on and working, it is already 14:37?  Time does fly when the world is a fog.

Two of the razor/toothbrush/etc hole/weights showed today.  I wasn't sure about size, or function.  They are much bigger than they appear on the site.  Not so much as to be a problem.  They seem to work quite well.  I have a razor is one, a toothbrush in the other.  I will use the next one for another razor, and still have more room and clearance where the old stand had been!  I am quite pleased.

Another little thing is a steam channeler, for my instapot.  I have bumped the button release a few times.  And, while I can handle boiling water?  I... don't do well with pressurized steam.  I still have a red mark from that.  This thing only covers the main steam vent, but if set right, it will block an arm from accidently getting to, and releasing, the button quick release.  I can only imagine what that steam would do to a real human!

This front room is pretty warm, 78 to start.  It will get warmer.  The living room is reading 74, if feeling cooler.  And t he kitchen back is probably 72.  Not too terrible, yet.  Especially at 96 outside.  And, this year, it looks like a hot June through August.  But water should hold, unless they dump it to Cali.

Blood sugar was better, this "morning", at 146 fasting.  Still not perfect, but a lot better than in the 200's.  Now to... be very careful with food.  I did try some of the dried fruit, after testing, but three pieces.  I wasn't willing to chance more.  Even that is a bit of a risk.  I'll have a kefir meal shortly, which should help.  Perhaps a fatted, unsweetened, coffee after.  Almost getting used to that latter.  It's a bit flat, but... at least I know it won't blast blood sugar.

Among else, I need to get that new heart medicine, and get that rolling.

Oh, chores, soon.  But I have to wake.  Some days I can hit it, immediately.  Some days I just can't.  I do what I can, sometimes I can push that.  Sometimes... I can't even do the seemingly simple.  Today is a hard day, for no good reason.  Mostly painless, but something, inside, is crippled or crippling.  So, while I wait to unlock?  I pray.  It seems a lessor thing, if I think it is the greater of things.  Amen.

Well... on to waking.  Be well, climate adjusted, and stay kind, sweet, brutal, or whatever else your station demands.  But pray, even while cooking, tending, or killing.  Let God be your guide, man be your brother or sister, and the world be something you live in but not in it's... his... her... service.  Amen, again.

A few very minor things done.

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The house is cooled off, a bit.  I think opening the door to the upstairs helps.  There is a large vent as well, but the door... something about that allows a lot more air movement, heat exchange seems more efficient.  Food, for all, was had.  Well, all house dwellers.  And, with some care, blood sugar is good.

Blood sugar has been a bit tipsy lately.  So I have been extra careful, testing a bit more often, seeing what might be a problem.  After the 131 read, if I didn't mention it, it started dropping despite eating every two to four hours.  First it went to 99, then 85, and then I could feel it.  I can become obsessive, but my blood sugar has been so... weird lately.  I don't quite understand the jumps, or why it is so stable today.  Nothing different from yesterday.  Though, with fast food, sometimes it can take a day to hit?  Something like that.  And it can skip and bounce and just cause turbulence in readings every few days for a bit.  It really can, I think. 

A fruit smoothie, but with only two cups of fruit (four ounces... but fluid or weight?).  That wasn't enough, I could tell.  I can't remember everything, but I kept eating to small, good, foods.  Probably a bit more kefir, and then kipper snacks.  I think that was it.  Blood sugar is, after a few hours after the last, sitting at 120.  It might rise, it might fall, but it's a... safe number.

It's nearing 05:00... actually just turned, and change.  I best close up shop, and either sleep or nap.  I'd like to stay up until dawn, and hit chores, but I am hoping a nap will do.  I will, probably, turn the ac on for a bit.  The device has a timer.  Just an hour or so.  Which, as it warms, might help me wake.  Sometimes.  If it doesn't heat-lock me into sleep.  Yeah, it can do that.

I did a few things, just can't remember what.  Not all, or even what, I had hoped to do.  I've just not been on track well lately.  I just can't seem to get going.  I'll keep trying, and praying.  They dying just don't... quite... get to choose as we might like.  Been dreaming about the dying, dead, doomed, and blessed lately.  Strangest dreams.  I see their whole lives, flash before my eyes.  Some I knew, some I didn't.  I did... learn a few things, of various natures.  A bit spooky, but, not... when there is comfort with that... process.

Have a great morning.  I'm hoping to join you, possibly by the time you wake and read this?  Who knows.  Later.

Cooling.

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It just hit 64 outside.  It was the high 70's in the room, maybe 80.  But 74 or less in the rest of the house.  Upstairs, with just a fan and no windows open was hitting 78.  I opened the joint up!  Fresh air, besides t he cool, is always good.  Sam can get in, with the front screen door window gone.  Pretty spry for a 22~25 year old girl.  Thin little thing, too.  That helps, but isn't all of it.

I went and pulled the water bottles from the cages.  Goosed a few bunnies, reaching in half blind.  No great fuss or fowl, if a few bounces and startles.  All good.  While out, I checked the food and water.  Looking good.  And I covered what remains of the duck feed.  The goal, however it can be done, is to get out, early, and reset food and water, and do all chores, really.  Then, between 11:00 and 13:00 (as a rough goal) get frozen water bottles out.

Now, from what I am seeing, the rabbits aren't even using them.  Or... not much.  And, being the quick higher heat, I'm not sure they need it... out here where I live.  Still, I'm going with it for a while.  If they really don't seem to need it, I may just wait for days reaching 95 or higher.  If they don't need it then, I could go to 100 degree days.  I don't want to senselessly waste my time.  If I don't want them to die for heat.

Oh, a shower and a shave yet, shortly.  Then towels, again.  Then setting up dishes?  Clearing and cleaning the rest of the counters?  Getting trash collected and out.  Most of it is dry, so...  Still, good to have that out.  Then, as soon as I can, to bed.  I'd like to catch a few winks in the night.  

If necessary, I will close the upstairs and turn on the ac.  I honestly wonder how they used to do it, before ac, or even fans or ice?  Well, they died younger, lived harder and more miserable.  They weren't different from us, just more suffering.  Some say that was a good thing.  

I... promise you, it wasn't.  Some privation is good.  Suffering to simply live is not a good thing.  Embrace your air conditioning and get rid of politicians who try to deny you these things.  Same with freezers, for storing meat, and refrigerators to store perishables.  Watch these bureaucrats, it's not just your guns they are going after.  It's your very way of life, and life itself.

Well... on to a little break.  I am hungry too, just... I don't want to cook or else.  This time, if I wish to eat, I will have to cook.  Bacon and eggs.  I really still do love that.  Plus it is clean keto, rather low calorie, and reasonably fatty.  Plus, neither an angel or demon put to a plate of such would come away unhappy.  If the demon would lie about it.  And still get caught in the lie.  Terrible liars, in all ways.  Thankfully for us.  Amen.  Later.

A perfect failure?

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I'm not quite sure.  I was to bed by 16:00.  I had installed a single air conditioning unit into the window, got it going, and crashed before knowing if it would do a lick of good.  Again, a double stretch, not sleeping through the night or in the morning.  It's taxing the devil out of me.  But, in an attempt to regain a schedule in the regular day, I am stretching.

I woke at 18:30, or so, but tried to go on back to sleep.  I have had so little.  I was able to stay down another half hour, but laying down while unable to sleep is painful.  I can't do it.  Anyway, so up, finally, at 19:00.  What was perfect about it all?  It kept that little corner of the upstairs at around 72 degrees...  Plus, with the fan else, I needed... felt the need for... a blanket, or two.  That is all I can ask from a little ac unit.  Or myself.

More sleep?  Right?  But, if the body can't, I can't make it.  I even had a cap on, to shield the light.  Something woke me, right then, and that was that.  I would have thought I would be extremely exhausted, irritable, but I'm not.  A little achy.  Back, shoulders, neck.  And I will try to sleep later.  I have turned off the ac, but the fan still runs.  Oh, while it was 72 in my area, it was 75 out in the middle of the room.

I wanted to check on the rabbits.  They looked good.  A little warm.  But it has started cooling.  There bottles still have a little cool left to them, but are thawed.  I will collect those later this evening.  I was just doing a general care and health check.  The ducks don't seem to mind the heat.  A pool of water, food, shade, and they'll figure out their lot.  Wind, rain, snow, sleet, hail, heat, they do well.

Now to get a shower, and do laundry, then get the towels out.  More laundry tomorrow.  And dishes, plus a general cleanup in the kitchen and bathroom for, eventually, an invasion.  I have more boxes to take down, and the last portion of boxes, probably from when I moved in, to be moved up and then also taken apart.  I am going to try to get a start on all of that between tonight and tomorrow.  

Oh!  And, the next time I am in town, I will see about renting a smaller industrial bin, to begin removing boxes and furniture that is useless, and such.  I have one large load, upstairs, ready to go.  I would like to get another ready, and open access to the larger things I want to get out.  Perhaps, get that done by this, or next, Friday... more depending on how fast I can do it than on whether I am working on it.

Well, that's the theory, plan, apportionment, lot?  Yes.

Blood sugar was good!  It was 131 as I was going down.  It is 99 now.  I can live with both of those numbers.  Aiming for just the right amount of food to insulin, skipping insulin altogether when possible... without...  It's all a trick that just doesn't quite yet make sense.  If I didn't know better, and actually, I know not one way or the other, I would almost guess my food is being sabotaged.  I am not using sweeteners, my kefir is well fermented (unless someone else is drinking, and covering by filling with milk, meaning I'm getting unfermented milk?  Dunno.  But something is not working.  Could even be the medicine is tainted.  I just don't know.  But my consumption is very keto, save a burger once or twice a month.

Hmm... now to wake a bit, figure out food... probably just a kefir, and maybe a can of sardines.  Then... I don't know.  Until I am more awake I won't be able to do much.  Oh, and some tylenol.  Just to help, maybe, get back to something or other.  Can't fight exhaustion, heat, and pain well, not all at once.  Later.

Beginning to fail.

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A crash is coming.  Still, will try to stay awake for a few more hours.  I want to see if blood sugar is stabilizing, without crashing itself.

Two family calls today.  And two of the business calls.  It is probably too late for the other calls, but... tomorrow.  If I can stay awake into the later afternoon, I have a reasonable chance to be awake and active earlier tomorrow.  And I have the functions on my list.  I am pre-ready.

I just need to get an ac set up upstairs, then take a shower.  I will game a bit, in a bid to extend my crash.  Hmm, tylenol... if it's a generic... might be good.  My body hurts just from being awake this long, for the second time in less than a week, I think.

All medicine has been taking.  Keeping up on that fairly well.  Though, to take slow acting insulin?  Is it early enough?  Would later be better?  No, I'll take it when I go to bed.  When days and nights are swinging in the breezes it can be difficult to remember what I took, more so with shots.  There just isn't a good way to mark the bottle.

Crashing.  Not sure I'll make it five minutes longer.  Later... no, good night, and day.

Nearly time to begin making calls.

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.

Business calls, that is.  I called my mother.  She was with company.  Several hours later I called my brother.  He talked for a bit, but then... became a bit short.  Not sure if it was on this end, or that.  Still...  Hmm, I think my mother did call back.  Yes, and I missed THAT call, but called her back?  Getting fuzzy, been up a while.  But I think so.

It is 78 in the front room.  It was 73 in the main part of the home, last I checked.  And cooler further back.  Outside was 91, so I took frozen bottles around to the rabbits.  A few are using them, a few are not.  In the outbuilding too.  Though that actually seems cooler than just being in the outdoors.  Shaded, at least, all of them.  I am curious to see if they eventually begin using them.  Though it isn't a humid heat, here.  So maybe the rabbits are just fine?

Oh, I best, sometime, after some of the calls, get the ac in upstairs, and see how well one does, at cooling, before deciding what else to possibly do.  Blood sugar is being nice, finally, at 131.  I can live with that.  If I really would like to see it settle, without collapsing, at a lower number.  That may not be possible.  It may just be the way it is, from here on out?  I am definitely eating right, to within... what I am lead to believe on packaging, and experience, and etc.  A fast food meal, smaller one, once every couple of weeks or months isn't an issue.

When I first stepped out, the heat almost knocked me back.  It isn't... that bad.  It just struck me.  Partially because I have pushed my schedule.  Partly because, well, that's the high for the year to date, and four days ago it was... 51 as a high?  And had been 65 as a high for the month before it.  It is stepping up high, hot, and fast.  Then it went 78, 86, and 91 (so far) today.

Strangely, I am acclimating well.  It's a bit difficult to sleep, so the ac (or two).  After some calls.  Bleh.  Have a good day.  Hope your weather is... swell.  :p

Yea, well, still awake, anyway.

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Nothing fancy.  It is almost 11:30.  I am okay, for now.  A crash could happen at any time.  I can't remember the temp, outside, last I checked, but it is warming.  It'll probably hit yesterday's 86, or warmer.  I have the house cool enough.  But going out into the heat would... disturb all things.  It actually does feel cool in here, even at 75 (in this front room), probably 70~72 in the next room over.  Upstairs is probably pretty warm too.

When I head on to bed, if it's too tight up there, I may put one of the air conditioners in, and get it going.  Just one for now.  Yea, probably whatever else.  It is just too warm to sleep properly, for me.  Perhaps I can adjust to it.  And, maybe, just run it for part of the day, until it begins cooling outside.  I'll make an effort to be frugal with it.  Not much extra money to play such games.

I know, calls and business.  But I've gotta... wake enough to do it.  Not sure it will happen today.  Some of it I might be able to do tonight.  I am still trying to stay awake, until early afternoon at the earliest, late afternoon as a preference.  I can't always push through.  But, for now, so far, I am pushing through... a bit.  Getting dry and rough on the way.

Actually, the heat is helping.  It makes sleep less desired, wanted, comfortable.  It helps to simply stay awake, like an updraft helps a glider... within reason.  At least chores were done.  Blood sugar is high, 194.  It shouldn't be.  I am being very careful with what I eat, and with insulin.  Fast acting has been taken with food, and slow acting was taken last night.  At 184 last time, I took 20 cc's with kefir, hoping that wouldn't cause a bottoming out.  Hmm... maybe the labeling on that fruit is wrong?  It might be.  Or I had too much?  I'll have another kefir in a bit, take more insulin.  But, again, just 20.  Anything more tends to be troubling, unless blood sugar is well over 200 and I am eating something a bit more carby.

So tired, not sleepy, that I have minor twitches.  It's a sort of sleepy, really, but altered by caffeine.  Which... reminds me.  Maybe another sip of the stuff, to see me to the afternoon, and perhaps help me make some calls.  And take a shower.  Plus get a shave.  Later, or good morning, day, and night.

The outdoor temperature actually dropped.

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From 47 at, oh, say 01:00 or 02:00, it was 45 an hour after sunup!  Oh, I know it does it, from time to time.  I simply didn't expect it today.  All good.

I checked the rabbits, but decided to replace waterers.  And, the ones with the smallest waterers, I gave them two.  All are mostly full or fresh and completely full.  All of the waterers were in place and working.  I will check on them either before going to bed later, or after waking up.

Waterers were all refilled, and are ready to go.  I have a three to four day supply, if they were needed daily.  They aren't.  It's spotty, the water demands.  I do my best, which has been rather good.  Not timely, not exact, not on a regular schedule, but daily... usually a bit ahead.  Food can go dry, overnight, I don't mind that.  But water, I want that there for them all the time.  Perfection isn't possible.  And things, like having a fresh full waterer somehow become removed and used as an animal soccer ball?  I... can't control for all things.  But I do my best.

More coffee.  Hmm, I should have a very small dose of insulin with it.  Just coffee and cream, no sweetener.  Not... absolutely my favorite, but... it's... growing on me.  It seems even the stevia triggers an insulin response.  As with the other sweeteners I have tried, it's hit and miss.  But it can be rather powerful, and from a very light single serving over a quart of my coffee mix... a cup of that being cream!  Bleh.

Oh, it's gotten cool in here.  I have closed up the... wait!  I need to close up the upstairs.  Best do that right after this.  Then, sometime, when I can, a shower.  And a shave.  I did go back over some areas which were missed, dry.  But I'd like to mow the gesicht verge, clean and proper.

 I am hungry, too.  But... I need to sit.  While chores didn't beat me up this morning, staying up all night, cooling down good and plenty, doing chores and a few associated tasks, and else... I need a bit of a break.  But, towels to put out.  I keep washing them over each night, then not getting them out.  Today.  After a shower, so I can get that towel too.

Oh... and... after the one mouse was... probably eaten by Sassy (I think she was jealous, to be honest, not hungry... she had a guilty look on her face)... I caught another, in one of the rabbit feeders.  This time I didn't let it get away, or bite me!  I brought it in, to replace the one that got et.  (Legal Scrabble word, or at one time, a past tense of eat, like eaten, only niftier.)

Anyway, I was holding it, trying to tame it, and it jumped and got away.  So sad, too bad?  Then, yesterday?  I found it in my trap, in the basement.  I am not sure how long it had been there.  Still alive.  So... back in the tub tank.  There is food and water aplenty.  An old muscle shirt, and some paper, to hide and play in.  I should get a cage for the thing... so Sassy doesn't get jealous again.  Sam seems to just be out of the killing game, these days.  

She, Sam, is well into her 20's, maybe 25.  I... understand.  She still misses her kittens.  I... know this... I feel this.  And, now, all small furry things have become distant reminders.  She, like me, is seeing beyond the veil.  She no longer calls for them, I think she just... sees them, understands some things only the dead and dying can know.  We are so close to that edge.

Well... coffee'll do that to you!  Chattered like a harried housewife with a knicker bocker of a whodiddy?  :P  Good morning and day.

Oh well.

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I didn't, couldn't, sleep.  It is 06:05, as I begin writing.  It is down to 47 outside, 64/68 in the front room (hotter near the machine, with the light, myself, and at least one of the girls (cats) usually in attendance).  The other room says 71, but it feels more like 68.  Not sure about upstairs, or further back, but I'd bet it is 64 in the back rooms as well.

Part of the reason, though, was somewhat legit.  With blood sugar high, I had a normal dose of insulin... with my second meal.  Then had a kefir with it, and one more later.  Several hours after the last kefir, if feeling fine, I checked blood sugar.  It was 58!  Well, okay.  But I am avoiding glucose tabs, because those are mucking up my diet, and it's systems... ketoses doesn't work when constantly showered with sugar.

So I had a few fruit cups.  No sugar added, though of course fructose.  But only four ounce cups... if several of them.  Then I had more kefir.  Bleh, it was time to check, so I checked... 156.  I just don't get it.  I was careful with carbs, insulin, and this bit of food shouldn't have raised it that much.  Still, if I had used carb tabs, it would have been over 200.  And maybe, very easily, the higher end of 200.

Though, now, if I wanted, I could go to sleep.  BUT!  I want to try to regain day, actually day hours.  So I had coffee, and will try to stay awake into the day.  On the good side, I get to stay up, and cool the house down a bit more.  Another hour, maybe two, before I'll need to close things down.

Well, assuming I can stay awake.  Though, I do want to check on the rabbits, just do rounds and make sure they all have waterers, they have water in them, and that they look healthy and well.  As well, I'll check on the duck water and food.  I already cleared cat litter, though I may offer them a bit of food, or treats.

The hope, though, is to call and check on my medication... the new one which was at least ordered, if not sent?  And cancel a payment, which is changing.  Plus check on some paperwork which seems to have been forgotten.  And, finally, to... urp!  Uhrm...  Ah, check on my healthevet, program.  See if I can get that going, so as to pull some records from recent visits.  Right.  Bleh.

The sun is up, but I'll bet it still isn't 50 out there?  Well, only one way to tell.  Oh... I contacted the seller of the fruit I had ordered.  They were willing to cancel the order, being so very late.  Get that a lot with FedEx.  Anyway, with that managed, I went ahead and order other dried fruit to replace it, and a bit more.  

The golden raisin vinegar (potential) is bubbling away, lightly for now.  I looked it up.  The guide I am following suggests a 20 day, fruit in, wait (give or take) and then another 10 days of resting without the fruit.  So I have marked it in my phone calendar, and set alarms for when to begin testing.  I have an alarm, every day, to shake, sample, and fill as needed, but... I... often miss the alarm.  It gets love about every other day.  I am excited to try some others for vinegar.  Life is an... experiment?  Some parts of it.

Well... on to... something.  Breakfast would be nice, even if it isn't, really, breakfast time for me?  But I am trying to turn it into breakfast time.  And, more coffee.  Yes, indeed.  I will need coffee to stay awake and do anything.  Might not be possible to do as I wish, but there is... always hope.  Amen.

Good morning, day, and maybe night if I fail.