Had hoped.

.

.

The goal was to get to bed early.  Say, midnight, or 01:00... maybe 03:00.  It just didn't happen, couldn't happen.  Sleep simply wasn't possible.  Why?  Slept too late into the day?  Meds or health are off?  Who knows.  I did what I could, which ended up not being much.

But, I did get two pork blade chops cooked.  Not... for one meal.  They were larger chops.  But, they were both in the package, so... yeah.  I could have frozen one, cooked the other.  But... I can always use the other for  another meal, or two.  It was even bigger than the one I ate.

As well, I baked another potato, cooked broccoli just right, and shaved a pile of gruyere to try on the potato and broccoli.  Okay, the gruyere didn't add much to the broccoli or potato.  But it didn't hurt the experience.  If you wanted to add it, for purely nutritional elements, like adding fat, then sure.  Otherwise I wouldn't.  But, with a new food hammer, I want to hit as many nails as I can, see where it fits.

The meal was grand.  I was quite pleased with it.  I pan fried the chops, then let them rest in the cooling oven, with the potato, while I did the broccoli.  A bit of butter, a bit of coconut oil, and spices and herbs galore.  That almost tasted like a middling beefsteak?  Or a beef/sheep chop... a cross.  It... was pretty good.

I finished around 07:00, it's twenty five after now.  Can't sleep, even yet.

I also started in on Spider-Man.  Bleh.  There is some interest there, but learning how to swing is... a whole other issue.  I have looked at a few videos, about how to do it.  But I still don't have a good grasp on which buttons to push, when, and such.  I'll just have to practice.  

I am hoping the mission starts aren't timed, but are based on showing up at particular points.  If so, I can swing around the concrete jungle, practice other things, and generally goof around until I feel able to get to a place in a reasonable amount of time, not jogging half the way.  We'll see.  The freebie also came with three dlc's, or they were really cheap?  I think these were free.  Anyway... so there is more than just the game.  And, the trophies are attainable without online play.  All solo, or... seems so from what I have seen.  May continue playing it.  For now.

But still tonight?  Maybe.  If more just learning which buttons to spam, in what order, to get anywhere at speed.  Hey, I haven't played such a game in...  Well, I doubt ever.  These just weren't my type of game.  Not nearly dark, brooding, dungeonous, enough.  And his... personality... is annoying.  Think how Wolverine interacts with... fresh, smiley, cutesy.

Still, it offers challenges.  I did set the fighting to a bare minimum, so I can learn the rest first.  Either it didn't really work, or that was a scripted, mandatory, fight.  Will see in time.  Fed Sassy several times through the night, cleared her litter boxes twice and am about to check it again.  May take a shower, before I tinker with the game.  And, should get the chop put up.  There is enough, between the chop and the chicken, for a few days of food?  Would like to get burger fried up, tomorrow/today yet, and make a keto spaghetti, or dirty keto rice type dish.  And, I have plenty of eggs.  Should boil some of the storebought ones.  Hoping to get salad, soon.  And eggs go well with, in, or as another form of, salad.

Feeling slightly better.  It's like only one half of my body hurts as much, the left side.  Not as bad as before, either.  An odd thing.  Haven't had that before.  Meh.  I'll take a few more pain pills.  It's against my protocols, but this is weird.  Later, or goodnight if I fade and falter too quickly to report.  Good morning, in any case.

Sick man, teacher, sister, brother, dead man.

.

.

I certainly know that riddle.  The answer?

Got it.

.

.

The final trophy of the final dlc content package.  It was more of a grind, than else.  This game isn't fun to play on harder levels, so I won't.  The only reason I went for the trophies, is because I had them for the main game.  But, now, I have all the trophies available for the main section and three other packages.  I'm not sure what the third one was, a free dlc?  I don't remember.

I did get Spiderman as a free download.  I may or may not play it.  I probably wouldn't care for it all that much.  Don't know how much political correctness they have shoved into it.  Not sure it is worth finding out.  If so, not for a while.

I had half of the remaining leftovers of the chicken.  Oh, that was just about as good tonight as it was yesterday.  Wrapped in foiled, heated in the oven for an half hour.  Very good.  I offered Sassy some, she seemed interested, but, no.  She wouldn't even touch it.  All good, I tried.  And, she was begging.

The painkillers have helped, if just a bit.  The pain is more in the 7/10 rather than 9 or 10 out of 10.  Maybe 6?  Still pretty rough, but I am almost used to it.  Just, when it sneaks up on me, it can catch me off guard.

On, perhaps, to bed?  If I can.  Can't do much else.  Either that, or watching a show.  Only the older ones.  Shows before the 2000's are a bit too gimmicky, or old, for my tastes, usually.  It isn't just the close, hair, or else, it's the whole way of thinking.  Funny thing is, those were, at their time, considered advanced, edgy.  The only thing you can be certain about the fashionable side of things, is they will pass badly, and weren't all that good to start.  Some idiot wanted to sell you something new, so they hired some other (if beautiful, handsome, strong, or whatever) idiot to showcase their goods.  And... you were taught to think you would gain some aspect of the idiot, hired by the other idiot.

Though, to be honest, I think most people are over fashion edges.  Not all by choice.  The crushing of the middle class might end up being a good thing.  Let the rich remain gaudy.  And alone.  One thing they will realize, when they shove everyone else out, a shut down their access to all but the plainest of clothes, is that their false tastes will no longer be beloved, followed, or even desired.  Merely hated.  Those things will make them easy marks, when the time comes.  And... it's coming.

When you truly destroy Rome, to enjoy your evils, the darkness will truly descend upon you.  You have no idea what you have done, but will know shortly enough.  It always amazes me how dubious their hold on reality is, right until there is absolute clarity, which is usually right after they realize there is nowhere to run.  Nowhere to hide.  And buying people's souls bought them not a friend, certainly not an ally, in a world darkened by their greed, lust, and filth of soul.  Man will choose his fate, one at a time.  And receive it, one at a time.  Later.

Good and bad things, news.

.

.

I do have another month of medication, sorted into a pill dispenser.  That... was a relief.  I think it is complete, will look again, during the day.  Assuming I can be awake during the day any time soon.  What a relief, though.  I was so worried.

On the bad side?  Everything continues to hurt.  Have you ever had what seems like the very veins and arteries, in your arms and legs, and torso, hurt?  That's what it feels like.  Beside muscles, joints, and maybe tendons, something hurts deep within those.  I have no idea why.  I did a bit of work, but not that much.  Now, the sawzall rattles everything, especially since sometimes, on shorter lengths, there isn't much to brace the wood with.  So rattles become excessive.  Though, to be honest, I think that feels good.  It massages, right down in.  Not sure what else... then again, this happens, from time to time, regardless of what I do or don't do.  Life, for me, sometimes simply hurts.  And in the weirdest of ways.

Meh.  I'll get to gaming.  See if that can help me regain my wits.  And, thing about more chicken, then possibly cooking burger, and possibly blade chops.  I'll have to be able to stand, and think, first.  Which hasn't been happening yet tonight.  A bit of reading, and listening, trying to shake things up, and free.  But, just hurting.  I broke down, and took pain pills.  Those don't seem to be helping.  Oh well.

I got Sassy some snacks, fed her when I woke.  I suppose I will open the back porch, so she can get to hard cat tack.  It's not great, but it is something.  I'll check her litter box, too.  Again?  I think I hit it, when I woke.  Not sure.  This will make it good, if not.

If I can do something, I'll do some work in this front room tonight.  If not?  I... will try to be to bed early, again.  That is the hope, regardless what else happens though.  On to gamin, and heating some chicken.  Sassy won't eat cooked chicken.  Sam loved it.  I do miss Sam, and sometimes, if grudgingly, sharing my meals.  There is something about giving away what you don't want to share that... improves a human.  Or... whatever it is I am.  She was good for my soul.  Sassy is too, just in different ways.  Later.

A rough one.

.

.

I was to bed by 02:30, 3:00 tops.  I was sure I'd be awake by noon.  Nope.  I tried, several times.  At 18:30, I finally was able, if just, to crawl out, get dressed, and get down here.  I fed Sassy first thing.  She is doing with less, which I don't mind from time to time.

I feel rotten.  Inside and out, skin, meat, bones.  Everything seems to ache.  Like I took a solid beating recently.  Things had been doing well.  Then slowly exhaustion started creeping back in.  If too, I started pushing, hard.  And doing well with it for a few short spells.  Well, that is done, for now.

I'll still try to sort through things, get to things.

Maybe having better food will help.  The chicken will last several days.  If to, I hope to fry some burger, and pork blade chops for the week.  A variety, mostly of meats, but with fresh veggies too.

We'll see what I can do.  Currently, sitting, and staying awake, are almost above my paygrade.  I will look for any opportunities I can find though.

It isn't too cold.  Yet.  Keeping the downstairs right around 68, save near the computer, which between me and it currently keeps this area around 73.  Even last night, with it down to 63 to 67 near the bed, I didn't need longjohns or even a tshirt.  I was fine in skivvies, with just one to two layers of blankets.  No socks, either.  I was too warm, almost, as was.

Oh, but when I was waking, I heard the mad biker go buy.  This time, however, he shifted down and really cooled it.  I am all but sure he is the one who has been racing through her for... some time now, off and on.  I think the cops were having trouble catching him, especially in their suvs.  He would just skip on past and keep going.  But, yesterday, he got clocked by a motorcycle cop.  I saw it just as it was happening.  He was trying to ignore, and did, the sound.  Right until the biker cop was right on him.  Then he realized the gig was up.  That he still has his license means the cop... showed some mercy.  Because he was really scooting.  No, I have no problems with all that.  It's how it should be done.  Probably still has a stinging nosebleed ticket, but he could have lost his license right then and there.  I'd bet on it.  Good to hear, for his own sake mostly, that he is cooling his jets.  I get it, I was young.  Still, had to grin, as I was waking, hearing him roaring up to the town, then, this time, shutting it down and going to speed limit, or... much closer.  :p

Well, on to something.  Later.

Wow.

.

.

That was... excellent!  I didn't end up adding in any fresh veggies.  Thankfully.  Full, and I only had a breast and hindquarter, cut off the whole bird, plus a potato.  It really wasn't that much food.  It's just that I haven't been eating well or correctly lately.  So, good food just absolutely stuffed me.

Oh, I did add more potent cayenne, and a hefty amount.  But with the bird, juices, and else, it was well modified down to a pleasant... spiciness that wasn't hot.  Just... resembled truly hot food.  Perfect, to my palate.  And I would bet mild enough for even normals.

Quite pleased.  I was almost sure that chicken would be bad.  But, nope!  The spices, herbs, and brining can help.  But, if it is off, I can't eat it.  Sometimes just a smell, but definitely the taste.  Even if it is just a bit old tasting, I can' do it.  This chicken was good, excellent even.  I'll have to get it put up, possibly save the juices.  Sometimes God just tosses you a gift you don't deserve.

I don't think I can keep up on cooking.  I'll be up just a while longer, in order to let the chicken cool, and then get it put away.  But then I'm going to bed.  I am hoping to finish the wood pile tomorrow, pick up the bark and bits, then mow back there.  Any other work will be indoors.

I did get the cat food down, sorted, and put away.  I just haven't had the energy to do much else.  All good.  Oh... may put blankets out on the line tomorrow.  Hopefully that will work, so I don't have to wash them as often.  I would much rather just put them out, let them air, than have to wash them quarterly.  But, if that doesn't work, I'll just have to wash them again and again, or portions of them every half a year?  We'll see.  Tending my bedding is sort of a new trick, just learning how to do it best.

Later, or more likely goodnight.  I'll do some gaming, while I get ready for bed.  Goodnight, almost definitely.  My your guardian angel be with you... say hello for me.  And, may God be your guide, good or ill, through the night.  *blink blink*

A bit rusty.

.

.

Shoulder joints, muscles everywhere, the right wrist... muscles and joints.  All good.  I wish I could be more sore.  I just wasn't able to get to all that much.  Maybe tomorrow.  I'll get a few more things done tonight.  If, too, I may try to get to bed much earlier.  Yes, try.

I brined the whole chicken.  And, while it was brining, I put potatoes in to bake.  After an hour, I patted the chicken as dry as I could, then salted, and spiced it otherwise... a spot of italian seasoning, sage... rolled, black pepper, garlic powder, and a fresh onion peeled and sliced in half.  Not only does fresh onion, or garlic, do well for flavor, I eat it as a delicious side.

The chicken has gotten an half hour, at 350.  I opened it up, and will turn it to 415.  Giving it twenty minutes on one side, another twenty on the other side?  More or less.  I'm still not sure if the meat is good.  It smelled okay, but I am finding that raw smell doesn't always tell the whole story.  If it doesn't work, I have other meats.  And, I mean to get to them yet tonight anyway.  Dinner will just be delayed.

I did get the second to the last trophy tonight.  Working on the final one.  I guess that will be it for gaming, unless I go to an older one, and work on it.  I would like to do Doom, but they require online play, which excludes me.  Hate playing with people I don't know.  Half are trolls, half are idiots, and the overlap isn't close to 100%.

Oh... I'll get the cat food downstairs, and sorted on the shelves.  While the chicken finishes... I have time.  Then I'll clear the litter boxes.  Sassy has been very happy with me being showered.  She has been a bit lonely, with me being too gnarly for her countenance.  She wanted to be with me, just... it wasn't her thing.  She is a woman, it's how that goes.

Well, on to a few chores, then hopefully dinner.  Oh, I may make some fresh veggies.  It's been a while.  Good day.

Well, things are different.

.

.

Okay.  I looked back through some emails.  I was told, but... didn't see it.  The meeting I rushed to get ready for, and be out to, isn't tonight.  Why did I think it was tonight?  Usually it is the second Tuesday.  Not this month.  But, too, this isn't the second Tuesday.  But, Now I know.  Ugh.

All good.  I've missed two.  One because they must have moved the date, as well.  And I just didn't see the date.  At least tonight I didn't miss it, I was just early.  All good.  I just hope my days and nights don't flip so much that I miss when it is.  I can only do just so much.  I'll try.  I will.

The sun is just setting.  It is 58 out there, but feels... good.  I would like to get back to work, but I just showered.  And it is getting dark.  So, I will just enjoy a quiet night.  Perhaps do some cooking.  Maybe do light cleaning in this front room.  Slowly take things needing to be stored down to the basement.  Not... a lot, but a few things.

I'll do what I can.  Later.

Well, okay.

.

.

Not everything.  But...  I started with the fencing.   Using the trimmer, I loosened it, the remaining one.  About twelve feet of well held fence line, cut, the pulled, cut, then pulled, until I got it off.  Rolling it up as well as I was able, then getting it stuffed in the outbuilding.  Then I rolled up the other one, that was mostly free.  In it went.  And, as a final cleanup, I used the weed whip to clear, much more exactingly, the fence line area.  Fencing is all put up, and the area is cleaner, plus I found a few pieces of flat wood, which I set near the outbuilding.

I then got to the bigger pieces of wood cut, of what was remaining, and started in on the medium to smaller branches.  I used the sawzall, as I didn't have a good way to use the chainsaw.  Even the sawzall use was a bit sketch.  Still, got it done to the point I used the battery up.  I brought it in, put a fresh battery in, but that is it for tonight.  I have other things I must do, and light will be gone by the time I finish.

I won't be putting blankets out, tonight.  Too many other things must be done.  A shower, after I cool a bit.  Then dressing like a human.  Still so tired.  My body did not want to get up and still wants to be in bed.  I'm with it, really, I just have things I really wanted to complete.

I worked for an hour.  And, while it is only 66 out there, seemingly the high for the day?  I am overheated, sweating, and ready for a break.  Not sure why I am so hot.  But, oh well.  At least I got some of it.  I am almost sure, if I can work, I will finish the yard tomorrow, and be able to get all but raking, saplings and such cut, and will be leaving the sprinklers out for one or two more waterings... assuming it doesn't freeze, and stay frozen, really soon.

Very good.  More invigorating efforts numb pain, for a while.  Yes, the body hurts.  But... it would hurt no matter what I do, or don't do.  Might as well, if I can focus, put my back into it.  A good day.  And, I did get some things done yesterday.  Not much, but... some things.

No real cooking yesterday, maybe today.  Later, in the evening.  Well, on to resting.

Awake, finally.

.

.

Oh but what a brutal day.  First, I got to bed around 05:xx.  I have no idea, other than it was after that hour but before six.  Then I started waking, and my body wanting to wake, around 09:30.  Then every half hour to hour it would beg me to get up.  Asshole!

Then, as it started getting toward when I wanted to get up, my body refused to budge.  Around 14:00 onward, every half hour to hour, even every fifteen minutes, I would wake and want to get up but my body would just lump there.  Could not shove it out.  What assholery is this!  Never mind, it is 15:09 and I am finally awake.

I would say even an hour before 14:00, so two hours of begging and pushing my body to wake.  It still isn't really awake, that's just me.

I fed Sassy, first thing.  Opened the back porch, so she has access to hard food.  She is eating more, now.  It just that I cut off her food supply for while I sleep.  To be honest, I should do it while I am awake, I just have no way of feeding her through the night, nor would I wish to contend with her while I am awake and she is hungry.  She is a pest, as is, while I sleep.  She makes noises, and else.  Sometimes I hear them, sometimes not... consciously.  But she does disturb my sleep.  Though, it isn't all just food.  Even when I forget to shut the porch off, she does the same thing.

Ah, a call from mother?  Well.  All good.  Then, a delivery.  I think the last or second to last package for the month?  More paper plates.  I am getting littler and big plates.  And, I reuse until they are shot.  It's about saving money, at least to a point.  But, too, it limits my exposure to dishes, because I can't keep up!  I keep two boxes, one open... of each size.  One full.  When I hit the full one, I start looking at prices for a next new box.  That is how I do tp, as well, and most things like that.  Tissue paper, anything expendable, not food.  Similar with food, though with two to four twelve-packs.

Now?  I am hoping to get the wood cut and stacked, the fencing cut loose, rolled, and stowed, and the area cleaned up.  Then a shower and properly dressed, and... some other things.  I best get to the wood pile.  Later.

Some more music.

.

.

Populated my screen, they did.  Some from other things, others from... memories and thoughts.  I do enjoy when things show, things I appreciate.

Somebody, it seems, wanted the lyrics on screen, plus a visually interesting video for the song I played recently.  They did well, by my grading schedule, so I thought to share it.

The sleeping rug and mats are in.

.

.

I couldn't do as much as hoped.  But, getting to the store, and getting the mats out, and back, was something.  A shower too.  Well, and keeping Sassy fed and her litter clean.  A few other very light things as well.

Oh, and Sassy was quite pleased with the shower and brushing of teeth.  She has been enjoying my company since, off and on, all night.  She has been avoiding me, and fairly, lately.  But she would meowl from the other room.  I... knew what it was, just couldn't do much about it.

I am feeling very hot.  The shower, being dressed warmly.  It is down to 70, here near the computer.  I think it is 68 in the rest of the downstairs.  It was 64 upstairs, in the main, when I took the mats up.  I do have those set up and stacked, but will have to reset the bedding yet before bed.

At 05:18, I am hoping to bake the chicken.  I still haven't opened it up, to see if it is good... or good enough to try.  If not, I'll take it, and any other trash I can gather, out.  As well, I have burger from my second to last grocery shopping, and some ground chicken, ready to fry... if they are still good.  And I may fry one of the blade chops.  Those are delicious, tasty as the dickens!  I will probably bake a potato, while at it.  I don't get much of those, or often.  But I still enjoy.

After cooking, and eating, I may go on to bed.  Still sore, but able to push on through to little things.  Later.

Out.

.

.

I forgot, something arrived, something which needs something else... store bought milk.  Why?  It's easier to start with.  Kefir!  finally.  So, out I went.

While I was there, I looked over their pork roasts, blade chops, and ground burger.  Found excellent prices and quality, so picked some of those up.  Then remember butter.  Tried for salad, but the just didn't have any predone salads to my liking.  Still, five out of six?  Or such?  Not bad.

Everything is up, already.  I am washing some smaller jars, to begin kefir.  I will burn through the two gallons I got in two weeks, or so, and should have enough kefir grains for half gallon jugs, by then, and they should be ready for raw milk.  I will cancel raw milk for the next two Saturdays, which... should leave me in good shape for financials for the rest of the month, concerning milk.  Ugh.

When the jars have had time to soap out, I will wash and  rinse them again.  Then dry them and leave them to air dry... which will get rid of any bleach from the faucet.  All good.  I suppose I could heat some of the r.o. water, for rinsing.  But, even then, I would have to let them cool.  Not sure it would be any advantage, plus, it would be a waste of r.o. water.

A shower first.

.

.

Not sure I will get to the wood pile tonight.  It is dark, and after the shower, I am tired.  Oh, and I did get the packages of cat treats stowed, and the cat food from the front room back to the stairs to the basement.  I'll get them down yet tonight.  As well, I will hit this room more, yet tonight.  Since I have plenty of light.

The shower was well needed, wanted, and enjoyed.  I may even get another shower before going to bed.  When clean, it is wonderful to stay that way.  Even Sassy has been avoiding me.  Mother renamed her correctly.  And that is fair.  I have no problem with beings who... have taste, limits, requirements, for involvement.  

Oh, and a platter of cheese, salami, and onion.  Some fresh chopped onion really... does add a nice variation.  I am out of the one cheese that can be eaten plain.  The asiago, parmesan reggiano, and gruyere all require grating, then melting into something.  Which is fine.  I bought eggs at the store AND received eggs from the new batch of chickens, from the neighbor.  I may boil a bunch of the store bought.  They are among the better store bought, but it's just not as good as home raised, truly free range produced eggs.  Even the breeds are different, and the home raised are chosen specifically for exacting traits.  I won't knock white eggs, but browns, and blues, and greens, if seen by none but the cook, are delicious to even the eye.  Not sure what colors from this lot, though looked mostly shades of brown.  Very nice.  Terracotta flavored!

Oh, but I never did take my break.  I had hoped to push through fast enough to get out and have some light.  That just wasn't possible.  Though I may use the trimmer yet this evening, if I can get to it before 21:00.  No promises, but... there is that.  Now I need my break, and will game while taking it.  I am right at a place where I am going to attempt to get a tricky trophy.  If... when... I get it, I may restart the game for a full playthrough trophy, at a higher level.  Bleh.  At least I learned the limitations, requirements, and allowances for that trophy.  The last two trophies are a bit unnerving.  Annoying.  But... so be it.

Nice little grouping.

.

.

So far.  The litter boxes cleared and cleaned.  Actually twice.  When I went by them a second time, for other reasons, I happened to notice a few cat apples.  So... scooped and... there.  All very good.  Then, I went to take a shower, but realized I was a bit behind on my pee jugs.  So, I cleaned those out.  They are soaking in a bit of hot bleach water, with the lids on.  About every other, to every third, time, I add bleach to clear to the scrub.

Then a shower?  Well... No.  I decided to feed Sassy.  Then to put the mattresses out on the line, plus the sleeping rug I use underneath.  All out, hung.  It is still difficult, but?  If I do it in an order fashion, it is easier.  Out and up, all good.  Now I need a little break, but a shower is next on the list.  I did, too, brush my teeth, and hit it with the serious mouthwash.  It's... been a bit.  I've not been taking care of all things, teeth weren't on the list.  Today.

A fatted coffee, while I resolve to persevere?  Yes.  But, as suggested, a very good start, right off the block pretty much.

I am still hoping to get to the wood pile out there, so I can water tonight or tomorrow.  Or Wednesday.  But, soon.  I want that wood cut, stacked, that area cleared of other debris, the fencing all down and put up, and the area mowed, for the next watering.  I might be able to get the wood cut and stacked, the area cleared and cleaned, and the fences down and up tonight?  Maybe.

And, maybe, tomorrow, I will put blankets out for an airing of their own.  One thing at a time.  Oh... it's wonderful.  I can see clearly through the oven glass now.  Not that there is really anything to see.  If I need to see, I have to put my eyes on it.  Too dark, even with a bulb, and too odd, with steam and grease from whatever is cooking.  Still, clear glass is... pleasant.  It's the idea, in this case.  Well, and it is pleasant to have a really clean oven compartment, with new shiny aluminum on the grills.  Perty!  Purty?  Whatever.

A bit of gaming.  Then a shower.  A bit more gaming.  Then on to the outside.  If I have to, I will use flashlights and such.  Though, that will limit how much picking up can be done.  Some of it, the big pieces, into the wheelbarrow.  But I'll just leave that for a first hit, while the sun is still up, tomorrow.

The body still hurts, but I... am ready for the pain again.  It's more the lack of energy, than suffering from pain, that keeps me from working.  I... don't mind the pain.  Mostly.  Usually.  Later.

Awake, finally.

.

.

I have no idea when I went to bed, save that it was well into morning light.  A slight headache, probably from gaming, and being up later.  All else is... copesthetic?  Or, so I have heard it put, so put it.  It was about a quarter after sixteen hundred when I awoke, got up.

I realized I have not turned the mattresses, a  Thursday to Saturday thing, but here it is Monday.  So, I stripped the mats, and set them on edge, put the fan on them, and will rotate them through the day, or tonight at the latest.  Unless I put them out to air.  Which... is very tempting, if I can.

Gaming is killing me, trying to get the last trophies from the last dlc content.  I'm not sure I can play well enough, currently, to do so.  You know it is bad, when you can't even play a game that should be simple, with your experience, and native skills.  At least I am keeping some sort of, if off in hours, day schedule.  I haven't, or yet, started flipping through the day, mixing night, day, nap, sleep, wakefulness, all into a life blender... feeling more like being in a plane, which lost it's wings at high altitude, hitting enough g's to pass out from time to time, waking up not knowing anything, except you don't like what is happening or what may be about to happen.  Will you be awake at the right altitude to hit eject?  Will it work, or will that kill you on function?  At least it... is some hope.  Tumbling, tumbling down.

I am hoping to... avoid that this year.  I avoided the heavier sort of that last year, and maybe the year before.  I just, eventually, went more dark as winter came.  God only knows how terrifying that is.  Squeezing every bit of conscious effort against forces so much more powerful than me.  Squeeze, breath, push, shove, all while doing absolutely nothing other than trying to stay conscious.  Thirty years of that, sometimes two or three month or longer episodes.  Assuming I didn't just go to sleep for a month or two.  Waking just enough to get food down, from time to time.  Iowa was harder, it's winters are so deep, hard, brutal.  Utah can be tough, tight, but not... like Iowa.  Even in what I considered the Florida of Iowa, Iowa City, -20 F was very common.  As was ice, sleet, snow, and dark was much more common than light, even more so than Utah.

Well... we will see.  I still need a shower.  Most of the packages have arrived.  A few more to come.  Looks like I overspent again this month.  Ugh.  But, too, I am trying to put money away, in small amounts and pay up some bills.  But it is something.  After the shower, out to the woodpile.  I'd like to do that, and use the weed whip to cut the last fence loose then roll those up and put them away.

Perhaps, if that gets completed, riding the mower around and clearing that area.  Though, I really want to pick up bark and little zingers before mowing.  I weed whipped that area, which had been enclosed by the fence so had overgrown.  But, it will still be a challenge.

If I can get to those things, and still have energy, this room next.  This room is the next thing I will hit.  Period?  That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.  I have cat food and cat treats to be put up, grain to deal with, boxes to disassemble and wrangle, and boxes of keeper stuff to remove.  Ugh.  Ugh, ugh, ugh.  We will see.  It is a new week, I have had some rest.  I will still be working on the last trophies, on my breaks.

Oh, and I would like to cook some food.  Plus, I need to check on medicine dispensers.  Am I out, or nearly?  I am hoping I have enough for one more month.  I also need to set something up with my doctor.  I have to give him a blood test, or he won't deliver meds.  Fair enough.  It's the gas to get there.  Sure, they pay.  But... not for a month or three.  I'm on nickels and dimes, so a hundred spot is brutal.  Well, it costs at least fifty to get there, maybe an hundred, somewhere in there, if I am to have any gas left in the tank.  Well, and I don't keep it on full, so I will have to fill it first, on top of else.  So... it's... a lot of money.

Now... get off my porch!  I can't sit and jab all day!  *grins* 

A thought, about women.

.

.

I do enjoy them.  Whether a visit, an hello, or watching them on the tube, one tube or another.  I don't think of them, mostly, as objects.  Oh, well, there are times.  And, there are times when that is all they are to themselves.  Fair enough.  No, generally, even if I was interested, I think of them as sisters.

Dinner is, almost, served.

.

.

Went looking for a little recipe.  Tuna, salmon, some other canned fish, into a patty.  Fried or baked?  I... was just going to see where the chef, cook, or hungry human, or their story really, took me.  As it ended up, tuna, mixed, and fried.  The video recipe?  Here.

Finally!

.

.

My... troubles... aren't limited to work.  When I fail, fall, I also have trouble thinking and doing.  What do I mean?  I mean, computer games become exceedingly difficult.  Remembering... where to go, how to do it, which buttons to push.  I revert back to having to think about it, with muscle memory failure as a regular difficulty.

My ability to aim well diminishes, spotting things becomes more difficult, and other problems occur.  I have just as many mental limitations as I do physical ones.

So, getting the trophies in this game was difficult.  Or that part of that dlc of the game.  Finally, though, it has been done.  I have one more dlc section for which to obtain the trophies.  I have most of them.  But the final trophies, of course, are... the difficult ones.  Or, in one case, one which wasn't offered directly.  Without looking it up, you can't know what to do.  Though, sometimes, even if they tell you what you have to do, you can't really understand all the rules without looking them up.

One more to go.  Well, and I have found guides that make sense of things as well.  It took... five, six, playthroughs, to get the trophies for the first part?  But that was... messy.  Messier.  I have played this one once through, and got most of the trophies.  I am hoping two playthroughs will see it done.  The trickiest one requires a whole playthrough, most likely on it's own.  I could try to play them all together, just not sure about that.

Unfortunately, the game is terrible about helping one to figure out the best way to do something,  I suppose, playing an area over and over might allow improvement.  But it really isn't... you simply can't perfect the game.  There are too many variables.  So, some of it is luck.

On the other hand, that is part of why I like this game.  It isn't terribly difficult, in one sense.  But that it can't be perfected means... well... that one can't just learn every move, in a specific area, and just trounce it from then on.  It's... closer to real life, in some ways?  In my opinion, yes.  Probably contrived, but it feels natural enough that I can't sense it being contrived.  So... yes.  That I do like.

Still Sunday?  Yes, as my days and night spin, and fall hits, I am losing the ability to be sure which day, or what time, it is based on appearances or senses otherwise.  Thankfully it is still Sunday.  I should be able to get the trash and recycling out.  I think I took recycling out last week, to no avail.  It wasn't that sort of week.  Not much in it.  Maybe another bag, bringing it to a third full.  But, that isn't the point.  Good to have it go.  Trash?  Not sure there will be enough to bother pulling it to the curb though.  One small bag is about it.

The litter boxes are in excellent shape.  I redid the one she mostly uses for pea, which gets the worst the quickest.  The others stay in excellent shape for days.  Sometimes she drinks more, sometimes not.  Strangely she has been drinking more.  She drinks more in the cool than in the summer?  Strange, but true.  Though, as I have cut back on her food, maybe she is eating slightly more dry food, so drinking more?  Never can be exactly sure why, though that would be my bet.

Anyway...  I'll try to get meat, or meats, cooking tonight.  Get the trash and recycling out at least to the bins.  Get a shower in.  And keep up on r.o. water.  I've been doing okay with that, actually.  Doing okay with flatline things, like eating, feeding Sassy, her litter boxes, and water jugs.  Just... not much else, lately.

Though, this year, the hoses are mostly already up.  Just waiting for the last watering, perhaps later this week?  Then those will go up.  I didn't get to raking, now sure I will.  But would like to finish the wood pile, outdoors.  And remove the fences, then mow back there.  Maybe rake, or the worst parts.  Well, and cutting down shrubs, small trees, and sprigs from the trees.  Maybe.  I'll... sure push toward those things.  It would be good to get the fall doings done rightly and quickly.  It'll have to be quickly, or not at all.  Winter is coming.

Later.

Lost in sleep, again.

.

.

Can't be sure when I did go to bed.  Waking around 16:20.  It isn't, exactly, just gaming.  But that is a part of it.  As I attempt to finish the trophies in the dlc additions to the game, and as fall hits, plus as I try to work and do what I can, the world sort of gets fuzzy.  I sleep when I can, and do when I can.

Haven't heard from anyone in a few weeks.  I won't disturb them.  The last time I called either of them, my call wasn't well received.  When... they want to talk, they will.  I don't go where I am not welcome.  So very tired, can't push through that front.  Won't.  I don't mind, it's the way the world is at times.  And, when your people are worldly, it's the way it goes.

Oh, I have cut protein intake to just foods and maybe a scoop of the powder a day, sometimes twice a day.  Whatever I am doing, it finally seems correct.  My fingernails are... terribly strong.  I used to be able to chip them when undoing a spring loaded hook and eye, on the back door.  Now, wrestling with wood, the chainsaw, other tools, and it takes a day of work to chip a few.  They cut just as easily, when trimming.  Though the file takes a lot more work.

Odd.  I had been taking three or more a day, for a while, and that wasn't an improvement.  There must be a middling dose that works better.  One of my gurus had suggested much higher doses of protein.  But, for me anyway, that doesn't work.  I have been on the one to two scoops a day, on the lower range of that, for a few months.  I noticed the strength of the nails a few weeks ago.  It really is reasonable stuff to take.

Oh, and Sassy is preferring to sleep by the back door, back in the washroom.  She has been laying there for... since it cooled into the 70s outside.  I don't know if there is a boy cat that comes by, and they spoon through the door.  Or if she just likes the temp back there, or something else.  She isn't coming around much, though... I... probably need a shower.  That might be part of it.  Cats do their own things, though.  I guess.

Today?  Something to eat.  I had eggs and the last of the chops yesterday.  There were a lot of them, but they were so thin.  These weren't my favored chops in the world, but worked well enough.  Those fried eggs, and some hashed browns with freshly diced onions and some cheese.  I made too much.  Used to be my usual.  Wasn't terribly hungry though.

I need to see what else in there, what is still good, and manage that.  I've not been cooking as I should, or eating rightly.  Too tired.  But, the oven and stove are clean, meat is thawed, hopefully still good.  I should get back to it.  Even if I make a bigger batch, then just spread it out over the week.

It's 73 in here, the warmest place in the house.  Will be like that for a week to a month more, at most.  Will begin getting cool to cold soon.  Some say something is coming, down this way.  Not sure the first real cold snap will hit here, or is more going into the Midwest.  But, either in this first, or a second front of some sort, we will be hit.  I am enjoying this weather.  For me, this is nearly in the perfect range.

On to a shower?  After I wake.  Then some work in this front room.  Maybe, if I get this room sorted well enough for a bit, on to cooking, and maybe some work in the bathroom?  Light work.  It is Sunday.  God knows I have to work when I can.  I'm drowning in things needed done, and can't work on most given days.  He has given me a life of mostly Sundays, I have to take, or create, a weekday when I can.  Oh, if you make it to church, say a prayer for me.  Say hello.  If you have already been, putting a short prayer in, with my name on it, would be welcome.  I pray for you, directly or indirectly, every day.  So... I don't mind asking for it, once or twice a month.  I don't... expect it, but I do ask.  Good day.