Very good?

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Toward the end of the month, I'm trying to get my money, bills, past and coming, ordered.  I checked my accounts.  There was enough to cover one final bill on one final expense.  I will check, again, next month.  But will be letting them go.  They are being terrible about allowing me to check my account.  So... I'll let them lend to someone else.  Weaponized financing will eventually eat the lender.  One way or the other.

As well, I wanted to see how much cash I had.  I order dairy, and the front of the month.  And, put money down to make sure I don't burden those who get it for me.  I have usually been getting a hundred, to keep me on track, to go on or near the first Saturday.

A bit better over better.

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Every pain has eased off the throttle just a bit.  Everything that hurt, still hurts.  Just not as much.  From 2500 down to 2200 revs?  Something.  Still screaming, just not deafeningly so.  It wasn't redlining, to start.  But was growling well.  Now it's just... shouting a bit.

Hungry.  But I can't figure food out.  That would require dishes, and cooking, and... such.  I had fattened coffee earlier.  That's been food for a few days, which is why I have been cheating when going to town.  A burrito last time, with rice and beans, and of course a tortilla wrap.  I... need food, want food, just can't... quite get to it.

Better.

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And worse?  Strangely, I think so.  A headache, and other aches.  But the type you get when the body is healing.  Too old to heal well, or quickly.  And I did some solid damage to my body.  In a number of different ways.

The healing pain is good, but is more intense.  So, yes, worse.  But that the body is healing is good.  As well, I was able to get up and down the stairs easier today, and last night.  Getting out of bed was easier today, also.  I wouldn't call it a fun thing, but it was just easier.  I was even able to use my currently bum knee to help.  I haven't been able to bear any weight on that until today.

Strange dreams.

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In the first one, Life had returned to hunting, some farming, and trading baubles.  Buts of metal to tufts of good materials.  In the right hands, enough of these could be turned into something.  But, until that point, a patch of wool or cotton, or 'button' of copper, would do as currency.  For the littler things, usually.  An old cast iron engine... now that was some serious "money".

No doctors, no medicine.  A few traveling healers, herbalists.

Some days...

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Some days...

Way long.

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The alarms... they were reset to four and six.  They just couldn't wake me up, even with a string of snoozes.  I almost woke up at eight, just couldn't do it.  My body is exhausted from the healing going on.  Finally, at around ten thirty, with some begging from Sassy, I was able to get up.

Actually, I think she was having a dream.  Her dream woke her, and that woke me.  Along with some of my own dreams.  Groups of young me looking machines, or cyborgs, were attacking.  In groups of twenty.  And I was  eliminating them.  Fairly easily.  In the end, there was a large group of them, a horde of them.

Right?

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Not... today, or tomorrow.  But soon.  I was too tired, when trying to do this.  Something was just off.  Won't try it then.  I have to be able to have my head in the game, fully.  But, I can begin planning, thinking, considering.

Here are a couple of vids.  I probably have watched these, or ones like them.  Just not recently enough.  Was so excited to be going out, that I... left go of my senses.  Hey, it happens.  Could have been worse, if I'm still not sure I can quite label it "lucky".

I wanted to feed Sassy.

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That and I just... hurt.  Wanted to sit up, catch my breath, reset and sort life and things.  Getting up is a task.  And, yet... I'll do it.  Sassy has been very good to me, patient.  She has been resting with me, and not being too fussy.  So I have really tried to make sure she gets enough food, and other care.

She is taking care of me.  Not pushing for me to wake, or rolling and coming and going.  It's good to try to do as much as I can, when I can.  Then, when I can't, she knows I do my best.  What comes around really does go around.  But it shouldn't be quid pro quo, more just... we do our best when we can, as we can.

Lucky?

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I keep hearing that.  And, I keep thinking someone doesn't understand "lucky".  Now, maybe that is me.  I mean, it could have been worse, far worse.  And, yes, sure, I'll recover, probably, in a week or four.  Probably through the worst of it?  Probably.  But... having to go through a couple to six weeks of recovery just doesn't sound lucky to me.

Oh, well, sure.  No gear.  So, given the givens.  But... when does luck talk about givens?  All I am saying is, when I hear doctors, nurses, and others who have been in accidents, say "lucky".  Especially with the looks in their eyes sometimes?  I'm thinking... if I was truly lucky, it would have been faster, and I would have had no wounds.

A tough day.

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I had hoped to get  another shower, this morning, before going in.  I was in such bad shape, that it just wasn't possible.  Worse, I needed to take a bm.  I just... cleaned as well as I could, after.  No way was I going to get a shower.  Everything hurt, and more than usual.  Just... difficult.

 I made it in.  Had to find the number, then call.  Couldn't remember where they were.  At least I was at the right hospital, and early.

Ouch.

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I had hoped a shower would... improve the pains.  No, not at all.  Now, everything that sort of stung, burned, or hurt in other ways, from the accident and with the open wound, are all worse.  Fine.  Even so, I'll shower again this morning.

Ah, and... I found more wounds.  Wounds?  Bruises and minor cuts, on the back of my head.  Yea, I... tumbled.  Those, okay?  Those felt worse on the finding but feel better now.

Later than planned?

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Still, not too bad.  I could have gotten up at four, with that alarm, but I simply wanted more sleep.  At that point I didn't need more.  But, being in the healing process, and that I could sleep more, I went on back to sleep.  I was hoping the six alarm would be cake.  And it was, to shut off.

I snoozed it right out of time.  Waking at seven, though, twenty minutes after the last snooze.  Sort of surprised I did wake that early, given how hard waking was proving to be for nearly the hour up to it.

Been thinking.

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The bike, and myself, front over front.  I rolled... forward... three times.  He said I looked like a kid having a tantrum.  I... was infamous for that, as a toddler.  Or... so I have been told.  It fits.

The bike?  I don't know.  I'll ask more.  Thirty miles an hour?  Hmm.  I had imagined that I would have been flicked, sideways.  He says no.  I'm not sure.  Thirty is pretty slow for a bike and bigger rider to tumble?  The only thing I sort of think I might remember was feeling that the throttle was stuck, and that I wanted to find the breaks... front.  I felt stuck, trapped.

Warmth is good.

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Just a few degrees warmer, but it makes a world of difference.  This, normally, would be nearing hot weather, for me.  When it goes from the mid 50s to the mid 60s, upstairs, I often suffer.  Just that much warmer and I just suffer.  Until I get used to it.  Then get used to the low to mid 70s.

But, with the body doing a lot of healing, the blood just isn't warming the body as it would normally.  Well, and lower blood sugar, lower bp, the works.  Now, blood sugar did get a huger jump, because I couldn't cook for a few days, so was eating fast food.

So cold!

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If I must be cold, I'd rather be cold when awake.  While trying to sleep, the cold can be much more brutal.  It is more difficult to react to it, handle it.  I'll be turning the furnace up shortly.  Did that while checking the out of doors.  Ah... 33, with snow/ice down on fringe areas, and it definitely rained, perhaps snowed lightly.  While it reads 33, it feels more like it is freezing out there.

Now I know... several things.  I turned the furnace to 75.  And, I'll be in the warmer part of the house while gaming.  This front room is colder in the winter, hotter in the summer.

Sleep was pretty good.

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Not too hot, not cold, Turning, often, but without that being a problem.  Dreamed I was recruited, as potential, for a college football team?  But, when I was younger.  I wouldn't do some things, even so, was doing well.  Strange, because I wouldn't have gone out for sports even if I had gone on to college.  And, yes, I was all conference, or would have been if I was college bound.  They changed it to someone else, to help with their career.  I... didn't have much respect for athletics, even then.  Less so now.

The knee hurts a lot, as does the ankle.  But more from bruising than the twisting?  Even so, these are fading into less pain, all together, and by parts.  I'm just old.  That doesn't help.

Oh, just... thinking out loud.

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May have to ask someone what they think.  Yeah.

One of the worst nights I can remember.

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The blankets were set up well.  Didn't matter.  I began freezing.  I made sure they were set up correctly, again, later on.  And they were.  So I turned the electric blanket on.  Which helped, until it hurt.  It became too hot.  I would put my feet out for a bit, then freeze, pull them in, then bake.  I simply could not get it right.

More, swelling.  Feet, ankle, knee... all swelling to the point of pain, on top of being too hot or too cold.  No idea why.  The window was closed.  But it is getting warmer up there, into the low to mid 60s.  It has been in the low 50s until spring has begun it's thing.  Though, too, it's the body trying to heal.  And pulling, pooling, pushing blood around to do things.

Doing this and that.

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While mostly just gaming, while gaming I am doing more.  I am working the ankle, and knee.  Not... greatly?  But, from time to time, giving each a bit of some turning, lifting, stretching, and light twisting.  Flexing my foot, wiggling the toes, just... trying to give everything that hurts a bit of a push, pulls, and all.

I'm not doing it to severe pain, but I am pushing past the pain to some degree.  As well, I am leaning into the bruised hip.  Not... so much as to cause agony, but enough to stretch into pain a goodly bit.

Well?

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After more time on the phone than you might imagine, I... found some things out.  I got next appointment date, time, place, Dr.'s name, and contact info.  Then, the appointment following that.  But... had to call three different numbers to find things out about that.  Further, I changed the place, which required a change of date and time.  But... okay.

As to the last appointment, that I knew about?  It's on no record with anyone I called.  And anyone I might have had access, or any connections anyone knows about.  So... there is one appointment that has simply gone missing.