Nobody there?

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Maybe, but I saw a pattern.  And liked it.

I've heard these things before.  Mixed messages, much?

White tea, mint, my sweetener, and chia seed.

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I was, sadly, out of whole raw cream.  Still?  Not bad, not at all.  And rather warming.  The house is warm, again.  Nearing time to take a shower.

Gaming, for a bit, in there.  Can't focus well, but... know the game well enough that it's not so much a worry.  Even if my 'toon dies, I'm not in a hurry to find out what happens next, or... such.  And, I am sure I can get back to the things dropped at death.  It just isn't a stress.

To sleep, then back up already.

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Not exactly certain when I went back to bed.  My last post was around 18:00/18:30.  Or so.  I think I ended up crashing shortly after, no more than an hour or two.  Sleeping until midnight, give or take.  That doesn't make sense.  I haven't been eating all that much, but some.  I have been taking medicine.  As well, drinking enough.

The one problem that seems to exist is that I can't seem to get, or stay, warm enough.  I have the furnace up.  As well, am warming this front room during the times I am awake.  When sleeping, I am using the electric blanket.  I have altered between using it just a few hours, to extending that.

Strange.

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I can't be sure when I went to bed.  After eleven, before thirteen hundred?  If I had to guess.  Crashed, hard, for... whatever reason.  Hmm, yes, I am stretching days.  A few days ago, I think, I had been going to sleep around six?  Six to nine for the last, say, month?  Yeah.  But why did I wake at 17:00, almost exactly.

Oh... noises, alarms, something happening next door.  I stepped out to look.  A chainsaw, or other gas powered emergency device, was being used.  But I can't see what.  Too far, through too much else.  But too, it's not just one vehicle.  There were at least three fire trucks there?  I am sure I saw three, unless one was mongo long, but even then there would be two.  If I think three.  Though, probably police, possibly ambulance(s) too?

Up around midnight.

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Around?  Awake a quarter to, not up until a quarter after, give or take a nickel or time in any direction.  Time, when waking, is just not noted well, remembered exactly.

Sleep was very good, when I could finally get to it.  Noon, thirteen hundred, later yet?  I... was so far off track I have no idea.  The last time I remember seeing was eleven thirty?  But I was awake much later, by hours, I am certain.  All good.  As long as I got the medical arrangement sorted, I'm fine.

Did it.

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It wasn't just about staying awake.  That was the prerequisite.  I then needed to be able to tell the phone was going off, and answer it successfully.  Seems an easy thing, but my phone is bugged to hell and back.  Is it Verizon, the phone, or... something, someone, else?  I'm looking at changing phone companies.  Not sure it will matter, only one way to find out.

Received a call, to reset the kidney doctor allowance through the VA.  Every six months, they say.  Can be set up three months in advance.  If... I can contact someone who speaks English, then get it going.  As is, it will take 38 days, on average, before they get the allowance through.  To be honest, that isn't worth the hassle.  Since it is going, I'll do it this last time, or two.  Then.... no.  All he, and the heart doctor have to offer, is statins.  Which have little to do with either of their specialties.  If that is all they can do, that is damage.  Which means they aren't useful.  I'll have to let them go.

The steak was still good.

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Well, I hope.  After opening, inspecting, touching, sniffing?  It... seemed good.  So I fried it.  No more oven baking, that seems to just get it too done.  I'll either have to skip that, or cut the steaks closer to two inches thick.  An extra half inch, and a shorter oven time?  For now, I'll just pan fry them.  Crusty and raw.

As well, I had keto crackers, with keto peanut butter, and keto strawberry jam.  Will test blood sugar a few hours after a tea... in a bit.  Loving that white tea.  Sweetened this time.  Every other time, though especially when eating higher carbs.  The sweetener concoction reduces blood sugar.  When tested.  And, while everything was carnivore or keto, I may have had too much of the latter.  It just tasted so good!

I didn't post?

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I've been up... for a while.  Gamed, just a bit.  Made and drank coffee.  Looked here, and there, online.  Keeping Sassy fed.  Fed her twice already.  And it's about time to feed her again.  I keep... trying to do some work.  I keep failing.  I keep thinking about making some food.  I fail at that too.  Hungry, a bit.  Just not enough to really dig in.

There has to be something.  Sardines?  A bit tight, in my current state.  I had soup yesterday.  Not much, burning the rest of the pot, and all... twice.  Bleh.  That pan may be shot.  And it's a pricey one.  Oh well.

Had hoped to be awake earlier.

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It just didn't work out.  I was expected to do something, and I failed.  I doubted I could go, but I might have been able to send something.  It just didn't happen.  Alarm clocks be damned.  I didn't even hear them.  Not sure why.  Though that isn't completely unusual.

Just a bit of work.  Very little, tiny bits.  But several.  Resetting water, and containers... one for now anyway, for they r.o. system.  Really, the goal is to have two or three half gallon jugs of the stuff, plus keep the carafe full.  So that making tea, having soup water, or such, is... possible, in multiples even at the same time.  I will say, tea and coffee taste much better with water run through that system.

Women. Bah!

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Women...  on the mind.  They... crawl in, and don't want to leave.

Of course, music vid pops don't help.

I got nothing.

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Hoping to wrangle recycling.  Not sure even that will happen.  While... stumbling through life, I stumbled over two old and a new vid.  Someone thinks they are funny.  I won't fault them.  A couple are chuckle worthy.  The other?  Meh.  But I like it.

So... here.  A song and a few vids, if all are... representative... of... whatever.

A... few things.

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Some music, vids, thoughts.

As a hermit, I might know?  I do say.

So much for ideas.

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Down slightly before ten... or eleven?  Something.  I posted slightly before, but sometimes I slide toward bed, not dropping then and there.  Can't remember which way it went this time.  Up after 19:00 though, between a quarter and thee quarters after.  I am going to have to check the alarm clock.  I swore I read 23:00 and change.  If, too, when waking, I can terribly mistake what I am seeing.

No matter.  Just a bit of shock when I saw the time down here, then checked several other time keeping devices and systems to make sure this one clock wasn't off.

The idea is a nap.

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The reality will be more like waking sometime between 20:00 and 0:00 hours.

I wanted to cook a steak.  Just couldn't do it.  I did get the r.o. run through to clean, then set up for tea.  Nice, very nice to have clean water back on the menu.  And the tea was superb.  I didn't add sweetener, which will take some familiarization.  But... it was quite good even so.  I'll do that on days when I had coffee, or when I'm having an extra tea.  Or... sometimes just because.

The questions asked.

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Far easier to answer in my way.  Easier?  I can't say.  Easier for me.

Do they ever understand?  Can they?  If not, they wouldn't understand if told.

Sleep schedule is weird.

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Not sure when I went back to bed.  Early afternoon?  Later?  I... just can't recall.  Awake at around 22:30, give or take a quarter hour.  Sassy was fed, coffee was brewed, and toast.  The new keto bread.  But, with cause this time, not just because.  I purchased keto jam, strawberry.  I wanted to give it a spin.

It's called Choczero, ChocZero?  Something.  It has 6 carbs per tablespoon.  I only used a teaspoon, on three slices, though tablespoons are... difficult to get exact.  The idea was to use just one serving.  It spread easily enough that that wasn't difficult.  As a fact, as I was practicing, I started cutting the dose.  I would say an half teaspoon will do well enough.

Crashing.

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Help arrived though.  I had an area, in the kitchen, I needed opened up.  I did help.  But didn't do more than a small portion.  Beside opening that up, he got the r.o. countertop device going.  I couldn't see the markings.  Eyes... as you get older.  Though, after a bit of fiddling, he figured it out.  Then showed me.  I can do that, from now on.

I was afraid of twisting the filters off, perhaps damaging the filters or the machine.  All good.  I ran one pot through, emptied.  Ran another through.  That is it for today.  Tomorrow I am hoping to run two more batches.  With the filters being new, they have charcoal running through them, and maybe other chemicals.

When did I go down?

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Sometime midafternoon.  After 16:00, not quite to 18:00?  Just guessing.  I was so absolutely exhausted that even getting to bed was a serious chore.  I kept nodding off as I sat here.  Surprised I haven't fall from my perch doing that.  At least I wasn't nodding off behind the wheel.  I started waking at midnight thirty.  Tried to keep down.  Made it a mere half hour before I simply couldn't stay down anymore.

Not that waking was easy, or smooth.  I kept.. nodding off on the way out and up.  Though, once on my feet, and dressed, life evened out a bit.  How do I keep on living?  I honestly can't say.  Assuming no one is trying to poison me, or otherwise interfere, and I don't make any such assumptions... but just for simplicity let us stay that.  Just how I feel, many, almost every day... since... what... early to mid fall?

Signed and sealed.

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The HELoC?  Is completed.  I have to wait, for payments, then for those to go through.  The first thing this does is pays all my debts.  Bringing the loan all under one roof and, generally, at a lower and singular interest rate.  Perfect?  Close enough.  Then life goes from there.

I need to work with my other bank.  With that debt, through them (the bike) paid off, I'll cut back on what they get.  But... that becomes Christmas fund.  Which means, this coming year, if weather holds, I could visit my mother.  I'll keep enough going that I can go, and stay, without dipping into my income.  Plus, arrive bearing gifts.

I am not the only one who can't seem to sleep.

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Digging.  With intent.

Too much to show all.  Some of my favored uncovered, and some... I think... that just go with the theme.  Tiptoe lightly, youngling.  Older than me?  After what you have uncovered, you... still think so?  *grins*