Still sleeping as if in hibernation.

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Mother just doesn't understand.  I don't need food.  Can go days without even water.  And sleep for days, longer if someone would allow it.  It got really cold, there for a while.  Which added to all else driving me to sleep.  Warming back up, slowly, into the 40's and 50's.

We had a bit of a tiff lately.  She lost her bottom plate (teeth).  I was late for an appointment, couldn't help.  After a raft of merde, and not talking for a few days?  I finally asked.  She found it in her room.  A few more days of me not talking.  I am still a bit unhappy, especially that I had to ask before she told me.  Whatever.

Better, again.

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Still with a foot and a half in the grave, mostly just exhaustion from the harrowing numbers and, to me, cold.  It's been in the mid to high 40s, even 50, lately, for highs, outside.  Relatively warm, blistering for February.  But, up here, inside, it seems frigid.  Usually I mostly sleep through this season, but mom won't have it... mostly for the better, unless that kills me.  It might be?

A bloody nose nearly all of yesterday.  The first one in months, and the worst in years.  A sign or fluke though?

Back up.

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After a spot of sleep, and some rest, I awoke feeling slightly better.  Things have been being caught up, but were still behind.  Water jugs to fill, ice to make, and while at those, cats to feed.

As well, I wanted to check bp.  I took "morning meds", if very late, and after checking bp initially.  With it being in 151/95, by my recent protocol, I took a dose and a half (9.37 mg) of carvedilol.  As mentioned, that was disastrous.  BP dropped to 90/60, roughly.

Busy, ill, bad news, and struggles.

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And other news.  My kidneys, it seems, are damaged from high blood pressure and high insulin.  Both of which are under control.  But they have been under control for over a year.  So... why the recent fall?  My last three A1C readings where 5.9, 5.7, and most recently 5.5.  The last two are basically in the healthy range, without medication.  And bp, if I have to adjust medications, I have been keeping in the 120-130/70-90 range.  Not perfect, and with upward and downward blips, but those managed with more or less carvedilol... not going over the max, if never quite going without.  Why the blips though?

The heavy metals panel was finally completed.  Arsenic?  Not... extremely high, if too high.  Not from food, we cook mostly from raw.  I don't use anything that would induce poisoning.  If I have long suspected poisoning.  Whoever is breaking in?  I honestly believe it is being added to my kefir or the allulose I jad been using daily.  Not... well liked, for things I write, suggest.

Up, early, just for a bit.

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I had to get trash to the curb.  Mom pushes to get trash out, so at least I didn't have to collect it all, get it to the bin, then haul the bin out.  She can't get it, usually, up and in the bin.  But she can and does get it ready to go.  Usually in lighter batches, be cause a) that is her limit (if a good thing), and b) that is before it begins to smell (her nose is more sensitive).  Good all around.

A project is underway.  Finally, I got around to trying to corn a beef, make corned beef from a portion of brisket.  For two weeks, about a week and a half remaining, after creating a convoluted brining liquid, I am juggling the meat and juices, in a plastic bag.  The hope is for a corned beef that doesn't taste terrible.  Storebought has gone so far downhill that I don't consider them worth the fortune they now charge for them.  Slimey, terrible tasting, freezer burned, mushy.  I had given up, until I foung a recipe.  It only took me... three? five? years to finally get to making one?  Meh.

A very busy week.

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Not every day out, three of the five days?  Four of six?  A few shopping stops, turning things in to charity, business things, and a few other odds and ends.  On the days I didn't go in, I made calls.  All bills are caught up, or have been checked so as to be on automated payments... with one being sorted so as to become automated.

Ah, the final window is being installed, finally, today.

As well, I got the final checks out, to increase the heloc.  Not... sure what happens now, or after those are cashed.  Some will be returned, as there are no active accounts to pay off.  Whatever.  I have done what I can with that, those.  Now just waiting on any news back.

Up for a bit.

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Jasmine was tied out, fed, and watered.  The cats as well.  A fatted coffee was finally enjoyed, while setting up reverse osmosis and filling any empty water jugs around.  Cold.  So I dressed more warmly.

Sleep was mostly good.  But the cold creeps in.  I have mostly been able to keep that at bay.  Still, it disturbs as it tries to eat the life from me.  I forgot to take meds.  Will get to it when next I am up.

I did have toasted keto bread and jam.  Nice.  Not at all fancy,  but good enough.  A handful of walnuts as well.  I'll have kefir when next I am up.  And reset the kefir in the jars.

Not perfect, but not bad.  Back to bed, sleep, after reading and listening to music for a bit.  Good day, and night again.

Two days up and out.

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Business tended, shopping, some medical.  Five stops each day, or more.  Not all successful, but mostly and I learned what to do about the failures.  Had been meaning to have these things started Monday, done by Tuesday or Wednesday.  But brutal hurts and terrible exhaustion crippled me too severely.

Warmer, sleeping and awake, the last three days.  But as I finished, exhaustion is making it difficult to be, stay, get warm.  Not frigid, or cold, yet.  Just this side of that.  With a poor outlook, if I don't tend things rigorously.  Though, even then?

Almost there.

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The left foot still aches.  Not as severely, often, or deeply.  I have been able to keep it warmer, mostly.  Last evening wasn't great, but better than a few days to months ago.  Warm, as I slept today.  Almost too warm, toward the end.  But I'll take that well before having them slightly cold.  Frigid feet are way out.

Pulled beef tacos.  Water.  Medicine.  I checked bp first.  Being more moderate, I took half the dose of carvedilol.  Glad I checked.  It would have crashed on full dose.  Now, full current dose is half what it had been.

Stupid bp!

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I was able to wake today, again.  Up around noon.  Medicine, food, and I had hoped some work.  After eating, after medicine, I... couldn't stand?  Lighter but definite tunnel vision.  No stars, in my vision, but right next to it.

I had checked blood sugar.  It was 100 this morning.  BP?  So I checked that.  It is 89/68, with a 70 pulse.  Ugh.  That is the problem.  I tried to figure a way through.  Having just taken meds, there is no way back, until the stuff works through my system.

Mom suggested a little fresh air.  I had a business call to make anyway, so I took the advice.  It didn't help, but it didn't hurt either.  And I made the call.  Like a butterfly, pinned to corkboard.  No pain, but no ability to be mobile.

Back to bed.  I hate to do it, no choice.  Hoping to be up later, finish with curtain rod installations, and sheer rods too.  I will check my bp before taking meds again.  Usually, if it's been a few days off meds, my bp is a bit high and sticks high.  This is... odd.  Oh well.

Back on to sleep.  Later.

Slept through a few days.

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No real choice.  Just woke a few hours ago.  Fed the cats.  Am gaming a bit.  Having water.  Missed meds.  Didn't help that mom was waiting down here, like a shark, with fifteen things to do, half not even on the list.  No.  There were things I wanted to do.  She was blocking my list with her list.  I wasn't sure I could do my stuff.  Certainly not with her trying to bend my ear.  So I just rested, slept.

Blood sugar improved.  It was 84.  Fasting doesn't always help.  This time it did.  Not having coffee, though, either.  Or meds or food.  I did have water up there.  Not much, finished it.  Should get water pills in though.  I have been trying not to drink at night, but being up there a few days... fluid is good.  I'll put more up there but limit usage, and to only when I sleep over a day or two.  Hmm... might get a medicine book folled and up there, in case I don't make it down for a bit.

Coffee and medicine shortly.  Maybe sorting something to eat.  A shower would be good.  So cold!  I turned the heat up a bit, when I woke.  Letting the bathroom warm.

At things tomorrow... or today actually?  I need to hit some things.  Later.

Up for a bit.

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Trying to switch days and nights back to normal, or expected, sleep and wake cycles.  If nothing else, to get morning medicine in, all of it, then do small parts of lists of work.  Doing both, lately.  Gaming too.  Just bits, here and there.

But so tited I haven't been able to stay awake long.  Today is no different.  But I did wake for a bit, did do a few tasks, and took medicine.  Spoke with mother, advised her on a few things, was there for a tele medicine call.  Got Jasmine out, fed the cats, and a few other things.

Better over better.

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I can usually walk without more than a slight limp and mild pain.  My torso has started hurting, mildly.  Not organs, just general pains, like after doing windsprints after a summer off.  The headache which developed over a few days, a new and different symptom, seems to have passed.

I did a few minor tasks for mother today.  Waking early, but going on back to bed early.  Then getting up for supper.  Doing a few more jobs.  Plus, keeping up on water and ice, rotating and checking kefir, and making plans for a bit of work each day going forward.

Better, if still rough.

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Wasn't able to sleep as warmly as yesterday and the day before.  But I wasn't bitterly cold either.  As well, I was able to get a decent bit of sleep in, if not as much as I had hoped.  Pains returned, internal.  In the torso.  And the feet were still slightly pained.  Better, though.

I am improving, slowly, incrementally, and with occassional hiccups.  Three steps forward, with a step back here and there.  A bit frustrating, but better than the doldrums of suffering I had known oh too well for far too long.

My feet are murder!

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Did I break them, fracture them, or are they somply not getting enough blood flow, so hurting from the cold?  A mixture of a few of those things?  Walking on them is a horror.  The knuckles, of both feet, ache... that without any weight applied.  Up on them, I end trying to walk on the outer sides of my feet, for the terrible pains.  Not possible, fully, in shoes.

I have been sleeping cold, no matter what I have done.  My feet and lower legs the coldest of all.  I tried a nightcap, literal, not a consumable, tonight.  Not sure if that was a good call, or just a rare warm natural sleep.  Will try it again.

A few problems being worked.

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The checks, sent to closed accounts, were... problematic.  First, two of the five were sent to accounts which have been closed for years.  Second, all of them were dated in January.  But January 2025.  No good.

I called the title company, to zero effect.  Absolutely dogmatic.  We will only reissue the checks if you come to our office.  We will only cancel the two dead accounts if you can prove those accounts are paid in full, maybe.  Both of those accounts were paid off, and ended, years ago.  I have no proof, and no way to get it on two year dead accounts.

I called my bank.  They... helped.  Made it so if I voided and ripped the checks, took a picture, and texted that, that would work.  To the best of my knowledge that suceeded.  However, they will reissue, with the correct dates, but to the same accounts!

I was told to sinply send them to the accounts, then wait for a refund.  Fine.  So... now I just wait for the new checks.

Then I got a call from one of the construction companies.  It ISN'T on auto pay.  Wasn't.  A bit late, but not too late.  I was able to catch up, pay this month, then automate payments henceforth.  Now to check on the other construction bill.  Pay it up, if needed, and automate it too.  Ugh.

One thing at a time.  But getting there.  If I can get it all done, then I can really rest for a while.  Wasn't planning on working on these things until Monday.  But... just...  saw an opportunity and hopped on it.  Very nice.

My last pain, the left foot, did well last night.  But hurt hellalot again when I woke and got up today.  Still, the first solid non-paimful sleep in... weeks.  Painpills are helping.  But I can't, won't, dose daily.  So tomorrow and Sunday I must simply suffer.  Every third day I will dose, once.  It's how I do.

Oh.  I made cornish game hens the other day.  One for each of us.  Excellent, according to both of us.  My mother is impressed with how well I cook birds.  We each saved half our bird.  I made a chicken stew tonight.  It was excellent.  Mom made ice cream, but using a new recipe I sugested.  It didn't work.  The first recipe was flawless.  I may have a fix for it, will try later tonight or tomorrow.

If the heloc update finishes going through, I'll be able to get on the electrical updates and upgrades, and the electric and gas tankless water heaters.  As well, begin getting quotes for hvac needs and make connections for a concrete driveway, three new exterior doors and screen doors.  Oh, and getting the kitche flooring installed, and paneling in.  Ugh.  Double Ugh!

Spend, spend, spend.  But... living in a warmer, cleaner, better, safer home?  Okay.  It isn't even just for value addition, or sales potential, at this point.  It's about better quality of life.

An successful experiment.

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Fudge.  I found an "easy" recipe.  Chocolate chips, sweetened condensed milk, butter, vanilla, and salt.  Okay.  But I was almost certain that could be made in keto form.  Went looking.  Sure enough, one of my favored keto gals had both the sweetened condensed milk and fudge recipe, all together in one video.

Would it really work?  Would it really be keto?  Only one way to find out.  I had to buy chocolate chips, of the keto sort, too.  And, unsalted butter.

All done, then to it.  It took forty minutes, maybe ten to fifteen minutes more, to reduce the cream and butter, with powdered allulose, and two to four drops of liquid sucralose, to produce the sweetened condensed milk.  My dogs are still rough, so it was a painful challenge.  I need a tall chair, for cooking!  If my feet are going to be bad like this this often, for this long.  Ugh.

Still, I sweated through it.  Then added more butter and the chips.  At first, I didn't think that was going to work.  Patience, Grasshopper.  But my dogs were making patience a challenge.  Finally, after fifteen minutes, it started looking... possible.  Then vanilla, a few last stirs to swirl it all even.

In the pans, I added walnuts to most of it, and stirred those in, or pushed them down in.  Some left plain.

Poured into two 8" square glass baking dishes, with oiled parchment.  Then set to cool.  Liquid, still, after an hour?  Freezer!  It never did get to where it could be cut.  Spooned out.  After days in my very hard freezing freezer.

However, the taste was fantastic.  That is some of the best fudge I have eaten.  Was it keto, though?  I had serious doubts.  Mother quite liked it too.  We gobbled those dishes up in less than a week.  Some daily, more some days.  I refused to test my blood sugar, for fear.  Though, on the evening, after I ate my last portion... so last evening, I broke down and bit the bullet.

Blood sugar was 89!  A fluke?  Was the test strip old, too old?  It was the last in that pack.  So, this morning, with a fresh pack of test strips opened, I checked again.  It was 99.  Nice.  Thar HAS to be solid keto.  So rich, decadent, and yet didn't cause the mildest of glucose spikes.  And, it tastes like regular fudge.  Could not differentiate, and I am very discerning.

I still have the mats to make regular fudge, but I think I will toss that.  Or leave it for mom to use, in other things, just for herself.  If she really wants more fudge, I'll get more keto mats.  For me?  I am done with fudge for... another year or two, three maybe.

As to health?  Better.  Mostly needing sleep, to recover.  That broke me pretty hard.  My left foot remains in serious pain, but my right foot seems healed, mostly.  And my internals, from the illness to the biopsy, seem better.  Just... tired.  I was exhausted before I got sick and damaged.  Healing kept me from resting, even while resting.  Everything was going toward healing, not resting.  Maybe now I can begin catching up on sleep and such.  Or die.  ;p

Later.

Warmth.

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Socks, not even the thick wader/hunter socks, which go up even over my knees, was doing it.  I noticed some stick-on handwarmers, made for the feet.  Now... not all feet are created equally.  Having size 15 means it takes two patches on the bottoms, and one on the tops, to warm the stupid things.

The large wool socks help, once the patches begin warming.  Wouldn't mind a few higher up, say on the calf, and shin.  And, maybe, sometimes.  But worried about it getting too warm, and running out.  Even so, these are helping with healing.  Probably helping with circulation, which then helps with healing?  Maybe both, straight up.

Slowly improving.

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Colder out there.  Finally got to below freezing, for the high?  For a day or three.  Looks to be in the 40s this coming week.  Very strange, even for a la nina year.

My feet still hurt, and hurt the most.  But internals are still tighter than is comfortable, with recovery aches?  Or the remnants of what was wrong before the procedure.  I am wearing the robe on to bed to keep a slight fever.  Would have that, from time to time, anyway.  Without the robe, I would have chills on off times.  The maintained slight fever, I think, is helping me get better slightly faster.

Better on better.

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Far from well.  Half way back to humanity?  We'll see.  The internals are... better.  Less swollen, bloated, compressed, less blood in my urine.  Still some.  They suggested if there seemed to be too much blood, that I should go in.  The key, to me, was too much.  Well, and where.  No bleeding on my back, or bruising, infection.

As for urine, the first day there was a lot.  But I expected that.  Every time I have been hurt or else, internally, I have bled a goodly lot.  I can't say that is normal, only normal from me.  Hit by a vehicle, dropped a bit far, and some sorts of... unofficial repairs or surgery or surgery-like events.  Can't... remember all the deets.  Only that this is far from my first rodeo.  So I wasn't worried.  Expected blood in urine for longer.  At day three I would have started to worry, a bit.  Day four I would have seen about going in.  I can go pretty low on blood.  As low as 40%, initial loss, and run at 60% for... a while.  Though I was young and fully healthy, that mighg be pushing things these old ill dog days?