Up all night.

.

.

Not for gaming.  Mother has been going on about the lawn.  I finally got out to see it.  Yes.  It is rough.  So I set up sprinklers last night.  As soon as the sun was down, I started them.  Then, every few hours, I moved the sprinklers.  I tried to hit every spot on the front and side lawn.

It is pretty crisped.  Not sure how well it can return.  We will find out.  But, for a first night at it, it got a goodly shot of water.  I didn't miss an inch.  But that effort took all night.  I just finished at six in the morning.

Best to smoke in the heat.

.

.

The smoker runs a bit hot.  If, as it turns out, that is a good thing.  For several reasons.  First, no way around it, a brisket is a massive hunk of meat.  Reaching the right internal temperature is... only the beginning.  Second, while hot outside, the smoker is using far fewer pellets.

Could the first batch of pellets have simply been inferior?  Maybe.  But the meats cooked yesterday, and today, have taken three times the time taken together, than that first burn, smoke, call it what you will, yet have used a fifth the number of pellets total.

Even gaming can be difficult.

.

.

Figuring out bosses is usually the most difficult part.  Especially for four different classes, character types.  Casters want distance, the dex build can do range or close and dirty, the tank just rolls right up for a rumble.  If there is more to it than just that.

Getting through some zones, though, too can be quite difficult for various classes.  Knowing ambush points, choke points, gank traps, and such can help.  But even knowing that doesn't always mitigate.  A squishy against a well armored opponent, in close quarters, which has extended attacks and gap closing attacks at speed is... a mini boss experience.

Me and my big mouth.

.

.

It had been forecast to be in the low 90s for the next week.  While not a chill spell, certainly better than some years.  I checked again.  Revised.  All revised, upward.  Over a hundred most days this coming week.  Which is higher than usual, earlier than usual.  Only dipping into the 60s.

It stays 77, on my side of the room.  The AC is on the far western side while I sleep on the opposite eastern side.  Though, too, I throw a lot of heat.  Still, it is comfortable enough that I use a blanket and duvet.  Losing all that weight makes a huge difference.

More smoking.

.

.

Trying Cornish game hens, a tritip sirloin roast, and pork ribs.  Brisket tomorrow.  Using apple pellets, if you can believe any label at this time.  The probe is in one of the little birds.  I have several, but no need.  I know the fowl will be finished first.  Though, then it becomes a tossup as to which of the others finishes next.  However, pork ribs can be cooked extra long without too much trouble.  So I'll put the probe in the beef. 

Hot.  If it didn't hit 100, it only missed by a degree or three.  Even in here, where it is cool, the heat just reaches in and lets me know nowhere is really safe.  Reminds me, I need to go through things, find shorts.  Winter pj bottoms just won't do.  And muscle or tank shirts.

I brought Jasmine in.  She likes it outside more.  Still, she got a bit of cool.  Fresh cold water, three or four times a day for her, even the cats.

Two ac's running much of the day.  One upstairs and I set one up in Mom's room.  I wish she would shut her's off later at night.  But, a) she sleeps at night, b) her room is south facing so gets plastered,  c) she keeps it at a reasonable 72, d) she is nearly 84.  I am not going to argue that one.  For me, I give my unit the night off... if, when, possible.

With the next week (2 months) being in the 90s to low 100s, that may not be possible.  Certainly at some point, between the house mass and lack of real cooling, I'll have to run it 24/7.  May have to add an ac to the living room window as well.  Hot, but just usual summer heat.  Maybe even on the cooler side of that.

She was thinking we should talk.  To me, there is nothing to talk about.  I simply can't trust a thing she do and will need to lock everything up.  Living with a thief and liar sucks.  For now... we'll see.  No, I won't accept her gaslighting.  Best just take the hit than try to lie out of it.  An apology would be good, don't expect that from women, especially about that which they untruth about.

Anyway.  Until I can get the latches and else in place, I am using... impediments to egress.  A minor, weighty, complicated, obstacle course.  It'll be both the upstairs and my bathroom.  She even stole a comb I really like.  I got it back.  But she just takes.  No!

The alarm is sounding.  Time to check dinner.

Mostly gaming, lately.

.

.

No discussions, about this or that.  Nothing, really, to be said.  Besides, I'm busy.  Just life moving on.  I am just... more careful.  About everything.

Dark Souls 3, running four 'toons through.  Wanted to run a tank, thief, mage, and pyromancer through.  But the mage is so slow, especially with early kit, that I just ran two pyromancers through, with the idea of changing one to a mage, or battle mage, on the second run... when they have enough skills, spells, and equipment to run effectively. 

Troubles.

.

.

I found my wallet open, and my wad of small bills beside, on my clothing.  I don't do that.  Though perhaps?  Then, today, I found my wallet in the wrong pocket.  Nope.  I am going to have to lock my bedroom from both sides.  A padlock on the outside.  Latches or other inside.

As well. I am certain she has been letting someone play my console.  Probably neighbor kids.  Though, to, it could be anyone with whom she is currying favor.  More, I purchased secure padlocks.  Spent a small fortune on them.  I am just about convinced she clept them, allowing the keys to be copied. 

She said.

.

.

A red, now black?, pilled woman, on y.t. I occasionally view, said "How I realized society was not going to get better".  I haven't viewed that vid, or yet.  Thinking about if I will.

Of course, unless these are truly the end of days?  She is wrong.  Though, some interpretations of prophecy strongly suggest even an earthly golden age, under the King's rule, for some... longish time.  If, even without that, there is heaven for at least the elect.

No, just no.

.

.

She owes $900 over her agreed monthly rent/utilities.  I reduced that by $200, to $700.  She tried to give a check for $700 to cover it all.  No!  I suspected she would try something like this.  NO!  I will no longer order anything through amazon for her, or help her in any way, until she catches up.  I simply can't afford her and my life, fully.  Won't.

I buy her stuff, too.  Like flashlights and bar holders for those, for her walker, little things she requests (not all, just things she wants or needs).  I make sure she has money, if going to a luncheon event.  But I do have limits.

Then, after she is caught up, she will be limited to $50 in any kind of debt a month.  Her memory isn't good, when it isn't convenient.  As mentioned, I have already forgiven around $500 in the last two months, half of that this month already.  NOT going forgive another $550 this month.  Grhhh....  NO!

Have to get new tires this month.  Pay electrical work, if he ever gets back to me, and whenever he starts that.  Plus tankless water heaters, one waiting on electrical work, the other waiting on finding an installer.  On the good side, I have enough credit on my HD card to probably buy both units.  I should check to see if they install. 

A shower and... then... something?  Friday.  Is it?  Later.

Speaking with the Infinite.

.

.

Some dreams are dreams.  Some dreams seem much much more.  Visions?  I have to believe the latter, not the former.

Hearing God is not understanding God.  Like... hearing in color, or feeling with taste.  Several parsecs beyond even my trained understandings.  Or... misunderstandings?  What I have seen and experienced has led me to a comprehensive accidental enlightment.  Not the so-called modernist version, but the true one.

Even so, all I can do in those... moments... is listen.  See.  Sense.  Realize there is God.  These times used to terrify me.  They still move me beyond expressions I could codify into words.  Like the blind, seeing the sun for the first time?  Only, that, and so much more.

Not great.

.

.

On the one hand, life has been very good.  The stitch in the side is much lessened.  The feet cramping only happens a few times a week.  And I have been able to be awake much of the day during daytime even.  But getting to things is a whole other matter.

More crippled than usual.  I'd like to blame mom, she can distract which makes doing my list more difficult.  But that is a minor side additional thing, not the main cause, or one of them.

A few things.

.

.

A bench/storage foot locker mother wanted was assembled.  Much less trouble than anticipated.  Initially it seemed a few parts were missing.  Just parts put where they weren't supposed to go.  Fifteen minutes?  Or so.

As well, the various pork cuts were smoked.  Took quite a while, at least to finish the bigger portions.  The boneless "ribs" and pork chops were done fairly quickly and mostly well.  The chops were a bit dry, but the riblets were very good, fine.

Almost chilly.

.

.

The high, today, is supposed to be 65 and the forecast looks to probably be correct or close enough.  Tomorrow cooler?  Enjoying the light reprieve.  But, too, it's causing me to crash out a bit.  I'll get up shortly.  Get a window ac installed, and put a storage bench together.  Well, and have a bite to eat.

Back to carnivore for a bit.  Blood sugar hit 144.  Though... from back to back to back abuses.  A bit of both a test heaped on a failure.  Wanted to see what it took to elevate blood sugar.  Surprising how much it took and how little it raised it.  Still, back to right eating.  The highest other reading, in probably a year, or two, was 122 otherwise. 

A smoother day.

.

.

Still moving?  Hasn't said.  A few tasks done, several meals eaten.  No further discussion.

It got warm, 93 I believe.  The ac up here is enough, for now.  With the fans.  Two were assembled for downstairs as well.  Not sure if mother can open her windows, but I think so.  She just wants someone else to do it.  No, not if she can.

Male disengagement.

.

.

One of the oldest societal issues.  One of the most devastating, right behind the rejection of reproductivity, mostly by women... in it's many forms.  The various states and cultures throughout history have struggled with the male problem.  As... can easily be read in history books, even through the majority of lies in them, those treatments have failed. 

From the most severe, the agoge (which I had a closer relationship with than most moderns), to less restrictive attempts at bribery to exclusivity to privilege, most systems failed quickly to slowly.  Though, I will suggest the problem with the spartan system had more to do with the feminization of politics by pushing men to death, while allowing women to actually possess wealth as widows and political power as a result.  In the end, banshee cougars ran that state (right into the ground).

Not to call her mother, or mom.

.

.

She wants me to total her debts.  She intends to pay it off and move into assisted living at the end of the month.  Okay.  That is her choice.  She is in the state to make such choices.  I just wish I had known this a bit earlier.  I spent lots of money on things that simply weren't the best investment for short term events... if she actually can get out.

As mentioned, I'll just settle, sell, and move.  If I can make enough money over closing for that to work.  From there?  I'll begin traveling the world.  See what I can see.

Well trimmed.

.

.

The house.  It was up to 88 yesterday.  Is supposed to hit 91 today.  And is already 78 outside.  It is 73 throughout the house.  I just closed the last window.  Leaving the windows on the western side open a bit longer is okay.  Still cooler, no matter how it might seem.  Altitude adjusts things.  Oh, but the last window upstairs. 

Back up, but just for a bit.  Gaming.  Wanted coffee.  Set it up.  But going back to bed shortly.  Though, had grinding to do in game, on several 'toons.  With that done, perhaps I can get back to enjoying the game.  Grinding is annoying, not entertaining.

A tiny few things.

.

.

Checked to see that her coffee was made.  That is one gift I try to give.  Brought in boxes, it was too warm earlier, and I too tired.  For no good cause mind you.  Well, mother was in a mood if that really wasn't it.  That just made trying to fight for a bit more daylight unpalatable.  Less palatable?  Or such.

I get it.  I've been laying in provisions and else fairly heavily.  Finally done.  Truly.  But, there is the aftermath.  Items she often can't move, I don't have a place for quite yet, so things are in the way.  Well, and my energy has been nearly zeroed.

Still, a few things tonight.  Hopefully a few things tomorrow.  Just... no promises.

Even gaming couldn't keep me awake.  Tired,  beyond my capacity to escape.  So, again, sleep it is.  Sleep well when you may.   Wow, could barely keep my eyes open to finish this! 

Mother isn't happy.

.

.

What she, and most women, don't understand is?  No one can make them happy.  Happiness, neither, is a choice or a gift.  Could I do dishes?  Sure.  But more often than not, she makes dishes just for herself.  And, she wants them done "now".  I... don't do anything "now".  Nothing, no thing.  I don't even pee "now", even when I should.  ;p

Besides, I provided a dishwasher.  That is what I could do.

Reconfiguring.

.

.

With the AC running days, and a fan and open windows at night, it is staying between 72 and 74 up here.  Which is nice.  It makes sleeping with a blanket or two another part of the plan.  A welcome one.  It had been running 77 up here for a week or two.

Now, that wasn't bad.  But it was beginning to stretch my tolerances.  And the downstairs was beginning to get warmer as well.  With the new arrangements, the downstairs is staying cool enough so that AC hasn't been started down there quite yet.