.
.
Just the other day I watched two boys tussle. Before that I saw some boys in a physical debate. In neither case was the issue settled. None of the boys really knew a thing about fighting. My instinct was to instruct. Some number of unnamed aspects of my mind told me to bite my lip and to 'keep it shut'. I could, technically, teach these boys how to block, throw a punch, and get their minds activated. I could teach them many things. How to stand, how to grab, how to use the arm or leg of their opponent, or even his mass or momentum if that might take just a bit longer to get set in. Yes, much. I could make them into fearsome young combatants. They were not my children. For several reasons, teaching them would be wrong. Who knows what the sensibilities of the parents are, though most likely they do not want their boys learning combat skills beyond what they get in roughhousing. I don't have the authority, nor would I request it.
I realize that most grown men grew up without ever having actually fought a fight to a conclusion. Few are those who know the very basics of fighting. They don't know how much a punch hurts, nor how to deal with the pain. Schools have cracked down, parents who are too busy crack down so as to have hassle free children. While some boys go ahead, what I found in my fights is that quite often even bullies have very poor skills. The elite usually have even less. Imagine declawing a cat, then putting it outdoors. Wouldn't that be cruel? That is what is being done to men in this country. Civility is fine, but it is just one aspect. And it shouldn't be the only one for men for many reasons. Civility, when dominant in men, means surrender. And it shows in this nation.
Should I have boys, they will learn to fight. They will learn to defend themselves. They will learn that size doesn't matter, with some attention to detail and using the brain as the primary fighting tool. Having fought, for the most part, older and bigger boys, and sometimes in multiples, I know what it means to stand up against the odds. As it discusses in the bible, just show up, God does the work. Or, that is how it seemed at times. Of course, if you can avoid the fight, all the better. God may be with you but He leaves the bruises, bloody lip, and sore hands. There is a time to fight, and if you do your best to live an honest life, and you find yourself fighting, most likely you didn't get to choose the time. My boys would be prepared.
Was it public school, as a rule, that has broken the will of American men? Was it feminism, medicine, psychology, a combination, or something else? Men used to learn these things. They learned the pecking order, when to challenge it, and how. Men are lost in this world, not because they have changed but because the world has changed. Too much wealth? To much of an emphasis on peace? I don't know. And while I don't want my sons to go through what I went through I also don't want them to be like the boys that give up everything to the bully, to include their dignity. My boys won't be Democrats by design, or sit to pee.
Just... thinking. Oh, the wife will learn to shoot, should I find one. A decent 9 mm will be hers, if I might start her out with a .38 special. One thing I have noticed, either with hand or arms is that when someone steps into the league of self assurance they become a lot less unstable, a lot less hostile, and much more security minded. They do not wander into bad areas "without thinking". They don't go out at night "looking for fun". They don't involve themselves in the business of people who they shouldn't even speak to. Yes, and that is right.
Yes, just thinking.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Storms and turtles?
.
.
Yeah, they have something in common. Slow moving storms anyway. They are both faster than me at times! Bah!
I've been sitting here watching a storm roll in. I've been meaning to get to things. I have. It wasn't until 11:30 that I finally got a pot of coffee on. Then it wasn't until 12:30 before I finally ate, after starving all morning, then got a cup of coffee. The train is more a wreck than arolling. I can't seem to focus, get going, something. Two days of work may be the problem. Like it or not I have absolute limits. I stretched those too. The storm is nearly here, looking and feeling more like a fall storm and day.
I did, finally, get my medicine dispenser set back up. I even tried to call the V.A. about medicines I am running short on. Holiday? Oh, wait, yeah, it's Saturday. Monday will be a holiday though, as I now see. So, Tuesday, if I remember, I need to call in refills. Yes, there is a way to do it automatically but it seems I am using medicine prescribed by other than my SLC doctors. I must have used the newer stuff first and am now into medicine from a previous doctor. Oh, never mind, just... So, the numbers on them won't get me new medicine is what that boils down to. And I did go ahead and double the carvedilol. I'm nervous about taking it. That's probably what made me stall in setting up the medicine right when I should have.
I may still make my way into town to get the digger bar and take back the hydrant. I may yet dig, before the storm races the turtle here. But probably neither will go forth today, tomorrow, or Monday. No, Tuesday may be my next real work day. Which, all in all, is just fine. I probably do need a break. Sad as it is, that is as good as it gets. For now. Although I am considering, after this bit of digging, to begin a trench from the front to the back of my house in order to connect the two water systems. A half an hour of picking and digging a few times a week would be good for me, and it is a project I want done. Though, actually, after this pit is dug I need to get my room cleared and figured out the bathroom first. Then I can start the other dig and some other things. The code frost depth for Logan is 30 inches. I don't mind an extra six inches for a little more surety though. That is the plan, three feet deep.
By that time I will have done a bit of copper pipe soldering, and when I get all the pipes where I want them, I can probably do all of the pipe work I want all at once. That should make a tidier job of the whole thing. I also want to put in the "y" connection to before and after the water softener for a new outside faucet on the east side of my house (wash vehicles with softened water, water plants with straight tap water). Doing it all at once might even save me some pipe while costing nothing extra in fittings. Even a slug can dream. And, like today, dreaming is all I have.
Have a good Saturday.
.
Yeah, they have something in common. Slow moving storms anyway. They are both faster than me at times! Bah!
I've been sitting here watching a storm roll in. I've been meaning to get to things. I have. It wasn't until 11:30 that I finally got a pot of coffee on. Then it wasn't until 12:30 before I finally ate, after starving all morning, then got a cup of coffee. The train is more a wreck than arolling. I can't seem to focus, get going, something. Two days of work may be the problem. Like it or not I have absolute limits. I stretched those too. The storm is nearly here, looking and feeling more like a fall storm and day.
I did, finally, get my medicine dispenser set back up. I even tried to call the V.A. about medicines I am running short on. Holiday? Oh, wait, yeah, it's Saturday. Monday will be a holiday though, as I now see. So, Tuesday, if I remember, I need to call in refills. Yes, there is a way to do it automatically but it seems I am using medicine prescribed by other than my SLC doctors. I must have used the newer stuff first and am now into medicine from a previous doctor. Oh, never mind, just... So, the numbers on them won't get me new medicine is what that boils down to. And I did go ahead and double the carvedilol. I'm nervous about taking it. That's probably what made me stall in setting up the medicine right when I should have.
I may still make my way into town to get the digger bar and take back the hydrant. I may yet dig, before the storm races the turtle here. But probably neither will go forth today, tomorrow, or Monday. No, Tuesday may be my next real work day. Which, all in all, is just fine. I probably do need a break. Sad as it is, that is as good as it gets. For now. Although I am considering, after this bit of digging, to begin a trench from the front to the back of my house in order to connect the two water systems. A half an hour of picking and digging a few times a week would be good for me, and it is a project I want done. Though, actually, after this pit is dug I need to get my room cleared and figured out the bathroom first. Then I can start the other dig and some other things. The code frost depth for Logan is 30 inches. I don't mind an extra six inches for a little more surety though. That is the plan, three feet deep.
By that time I will have done a bit of copper pipe soldering, and when I get all the pipes where I want them, I can probably do all of the pipe work I want all at once. That should make a tidier job of the whole thing. I also want to put in the "y" connection to before and after the water softener for a new outside faucet on the east side of my house (wash vehicles with softened water, water plants with straight tap water). Doing it all at once might even save me some pipe while costing nothing extra in fittings. Even a slug can dream. And, like today, dreaming is all I have.
Have a good Saturday.
Up and at it.
.
.
To bed by 22:30, asleep by 23:00 I should think, then up at 6:30. That is close enough to the times anyway. I set the alarms for 7:00 and 8:00, just in case. It was a cool night and I left the windows open, that can make waking difficult. I'm not sore today either. And, oddly, no blisters. I used gloves two days ago when I shoveled, but not yesterday. And I have done more shoveling those two times each than I did the first time. Of course, I still don't think I've done enough work to deserve blisters, it's just that logic should seem to dictate that I would get more blisters since I haven't formed calluses. I will get more digging in today. I may have to dig another foot back before I can reasonably make another step platform down. My problem is that at my size I need more room to work, somehow. But before I get to that I may make a run into town to get that digger bar. I forgot the heart-dosed aspirin too, which would be good to have. And buying a couple of containers would be good. I am all out. Big plastic containers for beans or whatever.
The morning is cool, perhaps nearing cold. I will have to push it a bit to get going. A shower and getting dressed really does take care of the cold, especially since the day will warm some. Sun, clouds, and possible rain are all vying for control. Hmm, a pot of coffee might be good too. I might just start making half a pot, and have that as a standard morning thing. A full pot is a bit much, though it sure puts some spit back in the old dried out bones once in a while. Hot coffee is best when it's cool, but in hot times I can just ice it down. Yeah, I know, purists everywhere are gagging on that notion. But... have you ever tried it? With ice, whole whipping cream, and a sweetener of your choice, it makes quite a nice cool drink on a hot summer day.
I can't tell you what the dreams have been about, exactly. But I have been dreaming. I know they have centered on women. Women, women, women, and more women. I don't think they have been erotic in nature, more about the interplay between women and myself. I didn't wake up agitated, dispirited, or such, and remember none of that either. It is more that my mind seems to be... recalling the past and looking at things it wants to use in the future maybe? It's been pleasant, basically, though too. Women are a real treasure. Yeah, I know, I talk about their faults. Yeah. And I have my doubts, sure, true. But never think I hate women. Think of it this way. Is gold precious? Would you love a ton of it, and more? Would you be willing to start randomly digging in a mountain to try to find it? See, that's the deal. Even when you find a vein, you still have to dig. You have to maintain the mine so it doesn't collapse for at least two reasons. You may have to mitigate flooding, you need to check for gas buildup while you are working, and then you have to worry about other people getting the gold once you find it and after you have extracted it and then purified it. It's a load of work. Women are like that. From a man's point of view. I'd honestly be curious about a woman's perspective on women. Okay, I lie. But go for it if you think you can.
I did wake in a bit of a foul mood, unrelated to dreaming though. Given a bit of time I usually pop out of that. Just... leave me alone for a bit, I have told my women in the past. Let my brain reconfigure to consciousness and I become much more pleasant to deal with. The smart ones would leave me alone, or better bring me a cup of coffee then go. Coming back in a bit yields much better interactions. Don't start jabbering about things I can't comprehend as soon as my feet hit the floor. Don't. I don't care if the house is on fire. Don't. The day can then be planned, business attended, a little morning flirtation, perhaps a little more if we were on the same page, then on to whatever else there was to do. I can be a big baby. And I'm good with that. Still, with women, what I realized, is that we take turns being the big baby. The trick is to find a woman who can tolerate my big baby mode, and whose big baby mode is in areas I myself can tolerate, and that we don't become big babies at the same time or for the same events. If done right, everyone gets pampered and powdered pretty much on call, but then gets on with life. Yeah, life with women can be quite good, with a little work, some negotiating, if both parties are interested in making it happen. Ah, but my mood has definitely improved. Both kittehs know it and are crowding me now. Angry gorilla to teddy bear, they like it all though too. They add contrast for the relationship, and are unavoidable in any case so one might as well enjoy them. Either that or they consider me a nice warm place upon which to perch. Love is never just one thing though, it's a whole bunch of things put together, time, the reals, the seen, and the unseen. Some of it is simply unknown, possibly unknowable.
Hmm, on to... something. Coffee! Later.
.
To bed by 22:30, asleep by 23:00 I should think, then up at 6:30. That is close enough to the times anyway. I set the alarms for 7:00 and 8:00, just in case. It was a cool night and I left the windows open, that can make waking difficult. I'm not sore today either. And, oddly, no blisters. I used gloves two days ago when I shoveled, but not yesterday. And I have done more shoveling those two times each than I did the first time. Of course, I still don't think I've done enough work to deserve blisters, it's just that logic should seem to dictate that I would get more blisters since I haven't formed calluses. I will get more digging in today. I may have to dig another foot back before I can reasonably make another step platform down. My problem is that at my size I need more room to work, somehow. But before I get to that I may make a run into town to get that digger bar. I forgot the heart-dosed aspirin too, which would be good to have. And buying a couple of containers would be good. I am all out. Big plastic containers for beans or whatever.
The morning is cool, perhaps nearing cold. I will have to push it a bit to get going. A shower and getting dressed really does take care of the cold, especially since the day will warm some. Sun, clouds, and possible rain are all vying for control. Hmm, a pot of coffee might be good too. I might just start making half a pot, and have that as a standard morning thing. A full pot is a bit much, though it sure puts some spit back in the old dried out bones once in a while. Hot coffee is best when it's cool, but in hot times I can just ice it down. Yeah, I know, purists everywhere are gagging on that notion. But... have you ever tried it? With ice, whole whipping cream, and a sweetener of your choice, it makes quite a nice cool drink on a hot summer day.
I can't tell you what the dreams have been about, exactly. But I have been dreaming. I know they have centered on women. Women, women, women, and more women. I don't think they have been erotic in nature, more about the interplay between women and myself. I didn't wake up agitated, dispirited, or such, and remember none of that either. It is more that my mind seems to be... recalling the past and looking at things it wants to use in the future maybe? It's been pleasant, basically, though too. Women are a real treasure. Yeah, I know, I talk about their faults. Yeah. And I have my doubts, sure, true. But never think I hate women. Think of it this way. Is gold precious? Would you love a ton of it, and more? Would you be willing to start randomly digging in a mountain to try to find it? See, that's the deal. Even when you find a vein, you still have to dig. You have to maintain the mine so it doesn't collapse for at least two reasons. You may have to mitigate flooding, you need to check for gas buildup while you are working, and then you have to worry about other people getting the gold once you find it and after you have extracted it and then purified it. It's a load of work. Women are like that. From a man's point of view. I'd honestly be curious about a woman's perspective on women. Okay, I lie. But go for it if you think you can.
I did wake in a bit of a foul mood, unrelated to dreaming though. Given a bit of time I usually pop out of that. Just... leave me alone for a bit, I have told my women in the past. Let my brain reconfigure to consciousness and I become much more pleasant to deal with. The smart ones would leave me alone, or better bring me a cup of coffee then go. Coming back in a bit yields much better interactions. Don't start jabbering about things I can't comprehend as soon as my feet hit the floor. Don't. I don't care if the house is on fire. Don't. The day can then be planned, business attended, a little morning flirtation, perhaps a little more if we were on the same page, then on to whatever else there was to do. I can be a big baby. And I'm good with that. Still, with women, what I realized, is that we take turns being the big baby. The trick is to find a woman who can tolerate my big baby mode, and whose big baby mode is in areas I myself can tolerate, and that we don't become big babies at the same time or for the same events. If done right, everyone gets pampered and powdered pretty much on call, but then gets on with life. Yeah, life with women can be quite good, with a little work, some negotiating, if both parties are interested in making it happen. Ah, but my mood has definitely improved. Both kittehs know it and are crowding me now. Angry gorilla to teddy bear, they like it all though too. They add contrast for the relationship, and are unavoidable in any case so one might as well enjoy them. Either that or they consider me a nice warm place upon which to perch. Love is never just one thing though, it's a whole bunch of things put together, time, the reals, the seen, and the unseen. Some of it is simply unknown, possibly unknowable.
Hmm, on to... something. Coffee! Later.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Remembering the schtick.
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.
Not so long ago, life was simple. Find a woman, make the moves, get her to ready, then do it. It's not difficult. However, for those who need more help, there is this. My thing is I used to do this in as little as an afternoon. Now I'm moving... a little slower. My aim has to be surer. This time it is for a keeper.
.
Not so long ago, life was simple. Find a woman, make the moves, get her to ready, then do it. It's not difficult. However, for those who need more help, there is this. My thing is I used to do this in as little as an afternoon. Now I'm moving... a little slower. My aim has to be surer. This time it is for a keeper.
Half-assed.
.
.
My attempts at things are often just so. I do try. God knows. Even He must sometimes just say, damn but that boy is slow and dense! Well, it could've happened.
My friend called at 11:00. My phone was in the other room, however, and I did not hear it. At about 11:30 I realized there was a problem. I found my phone and realized what part of the problem was. So, I headed to town, with checks for deposit in hand, and a rough understanding of what I might need from the hardware store. I was going to deposit the checks then go to the grocery store to speak with the manager about some business for the KoC. By the time I deposited the checks it was potentially already lunch time for the manager I needed to speak with, according to a conversation with the other manager I had spoken with on Wednesday. So, I just called my friend, to let him know I would be arriving soon, and got over there.
After picking him up, we headed to the hardware store in question. I didn't bring the other hydrant in as the packaging is messed up. I may call and ask if they would still take it back. It's not too bad but it is rough (the hydrant is fine though). I picked up a hydrant with a five foot bury depth and looked for fittings. They didn't have most of what I needed so I decided to go to another hardware store for that. We went there and got what I needed quickly. Both my friend and myself were quite hungry by this time, so as we cast about for a place to eat, we hit upon just the place. It was nice and quiet, the food was very good, all good for a nice lunch. After that, a trip to a sporting store next door. He browsed reloading supplies and I looked over everything else, mostly. I then went to the grocery store, where I finally met with the correct manager, and got a tentative okay for the items of need for next Mother's Day. After that I dropped my friend at his place, told him to call if he didn't hear from me but wanted to go shooting, then headed home.
Beside, probably unwisely, not taking the other hydrant back, I also forgot to get a pole pick. It is like a pick, with both the pointed part and the chip side, but the functional parts are on each end of a heavy metal bar, part of the bar actually. That would help dig the actually hole part. Some things done, some parts that may or may not be what is needed, plumber's goop for the pipe fitting, but not everything. At least I did get out and dig some more. I may be at the end of that for today though. Still, I more than doubled the initial step now, taking out a three foot by three foot by three foot swath of earth in the last two days of picking and shoveling. Oh, I know, some guys would do that then get the next level shoveled and just be done with it. Though someone in my condition? I don't know. All I know is I have done what I could, if I probably could have done more at least shopping wise.
Still, that is better than all I have done in the last week or two. I'll take it. Perhaps I might sneak into town tomorrow and get that pole-pick. And, I will call one of the knights and let him know that fruit for next Mother's Day is tentatively a go. I have to check back with the manager at the first of the year, then probably a month before, then probably a week before Mother's Day... to keep him on track and get the request on the fast track. Still, this was a start. If this goes well I may well ask for fish, or vegetables, for our lenten meals and continue with Mother's Day, just get it on the schedule and planned. But no more. Two requests a year is quite enough.
Later.
.
My attempts at things are often just so. I do try. God knows. Even He must sometimes just say, damn but that boy is slow and dense! Well, it could've happened.
My friend called at 11:00. My phone was in the other room, however, and I did not hear it. At about 11:30 I realized there was a problem. I found my phone and realized what part of the problem was. So, I headed to town, with checks for deposit in hand, and a rough understanding of what I might need from the hardware store. I was going to deposit the checks then go to the grocery store to speak with the manager about some business for the KoC. By the time I deposited the checks it was potentially already lunch time for the manager I needed to speak with, according to a conversation with the other manager I had spoken with on Wednesday. So, I just called my friend, to let him know I would be arriving soon, and got over there.
After picking him up, we headed to the hardware store in question. I didn't bring the other hydrant in as the packaging is messed up. I may call and ask if they would still take it back. It's not too bad but it is rough (the hydrant is fine though). I picked up a hydrant with a five foot bury depth and looked for fittings. They didn't have most of what I needed so I decided to go to another hardware store for that. We went there and got what I needed quickly. Both my friend and myself were quite hungry by this time, so as we cast about for a place to eat, we hit upon just the place. It was nice and quiet, the food was very good, all good for a nice lunch. After that, a trip to a sporting store next door. He browsed reloading supplies and I looked over everything else, mostly. I then went to the grocery store, where I finally met with the correct manager, and got a tentative okay for the items of need for next Mother's Day. After that I dropped my friend at his place, told him to call if he didn't hear from me but wanted to go shooting, then headed home.
Beside, probably unwisely, not taking the other hydrant back, I also forgot to get a pole pick. It is like a pick, with both the pointed part and the chip side, but the functional parts are on each end of a heavy metal bar, part of the bar actually. That would help dig the actually hole part. Some things done, some parts that may or may not be what is needed, plumber's goop for the pipe fitting, but not everything. At least I did get out and dig some more. I may be at the end of that for today though. Still, I more than doubled the initial step now, taking out a three foot by three foot by three foot swath of earth in the last two days of picking and shoveling. Oh, I know, some guys would do that then get the next level shoveled and just be done with it. Though someone in my condition? I don't know. All I know is I have done what I could, if I probably could have done more at least shopping wise.
Still, that is better than all I have done in the last week or two. I'll take it. Perhaps I might sneak into town tomorrow and get that pole-pick. And, I will call one of the knights and let him know that fruit for next Mother's Day is tentatively a go. I have to check back with the manager at the first of the year, then probably a month before, then probably a week before Mother's Day... to keep him on track and get the request on the fast track. Still, this was a start. If this goes well I may well ask for fish, or vegetables, for our lenten meals and continue with Mother's Day, just get it on the schedule and planned. But no more. Two requests a year is quite enough.
Later.
Nice, really nice.
.
.
I did call my friend yesterday. I told him I needed to be in town today and that I would get him out if he wanted to go. It seems he would like to go. I then eased myself down into sleep, getting to bed shortly before midnight, hoping I would wake up at a reasonable hour. I didn't set the alarm. At 7:30 I popped out of bed like a trooper. A little sore but nothing that should keep me from more digging today. After getting to town that is. A stop at the bank to deposit some ducks, a visit to the grocery store for business not shopping, getting my friend for a day out, a visit to a hardware store, possibly something to eat in there somewhere. Then back home to hit some shoveling. It seems to be cloudy currently. My friend said, though, that it is supposed to hit 80 F today. I best try to get these things started early. I hope to be out by 10:30. Yeah, I'll still be working in hot temps, but I might be able to break my digging up into two shifts.
I am rather surprised that I am doing well. I didn't overdo too heavily yesterday it seems. Though medicine might be adding to function, at this point, rather than taking me down? I simply don't know. What the increased dosage will do is a whole other thing. It might be a few days to a week before I see the full effects. Or it might come as soon as tomorrow. I best do what I can today. Living in constant fear of freezing is no fun but that is what I have.
Have a great day.
.
I did call my friend yesterday. I told him I needed to be in town today and that I would get him out if he wanted to go. It seems he would like to go. I then eased myself down into sleep, getting to bed shortly before midnight, hoping I would wake up at a reasonable hour. I didn't set the alarm. At 7:30 I popped out of bed like a trooper. A little sore but nothing that should keep me from more digging today. After getting to town that is. A stop at the bank to deposit some ducks, a visit to the grocery store for business not shopping, getting my friend for a day out, a visit to a hardware store, possibly something to eat in there somewhere. Then back home to hit some shoveling. It seems to be cloudy currently. My friend said, though, that it is supposed to hit 80 F today. I best try to get these things started early. I hope to be out by 10:30. Yeah, I'll still be working in hot temps, but I might be able to break my digging up into two shifts.
I am rather surprised that I am doing well. I didn't overdo too heavily yesterday it seems. Though medicine might be adding to function, at this point, rather than taking me down? I simply don't know. What the increased dosage will do is a whole other thing. It might be a few days to a week before I see the full effects. Or it might come as soon as tomorrow. I best do what I can today. Living in constant fear of freezing is no fun but that is what I have.
Have a great day.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Brett Kimberlin v. Stacey (The Other) McCain.
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.
I'm late. Or, am I? I noticed this meme going around. And, while I don't know Mr. Stacey The Other McCain personally, at all, I feel compelled to act. Well, once I figured out that I was, indeed, called to act. I do enjoy Stacey's work, I do appreciate his schtick, and I like what he does... respect his work like I used to (thought I did) respect newsmen in general. He is a real newshawk, not a shill for the left (or right, really). Besides, he lives the easy life of a working married man! *grins*
In any case, it seems Brett Kimberlin, a man with a seriously nasty criminal background, with a personality only a mother could recognize offhand and attempt to avoid, has decided that no one should know about his criminal history. To that end, he has gone so far as to be threatening enough in his actions to force Stacey, with family, out of their home until... things are settled. And Stacey is not the only one being threatened by this animal. Well, read more about it from Stacey, though I could link many other bloggers who have their own stories or who are also putting out the facts. This madness from the left has to be confronted, and stopped, and these behaviors nipped in the bud. Or, from this point. Though from now on we are going to have to act much more quickly to stamp out these little firestarters.
.
I'm late. Or, am I? I noticed this meme going around. And, while I don't know Mr. Stacey The Other McCain personally, at all, I feel compelled to act. Well, once I figured out that I was, indeed, called to act. I do enjoy Stacey's work, I do appreciate his schtick, and I like what he does... respect his work like I used to (thought I did) respect newsmen in general. He is a real newshawk, not a shill for the left (or right, really). Besides, he lives the easy life of a working married man! *grins*
In any case, it seems Brett Kimberlin, a man with a seriously nasty criminal background, with a personality only a mother could recognize offhand and attempt to avoid, has decided that no one should know about his criminal history. To that end, he has gone so far as to be threatening enough in his actions to force Stacey, with family, out of their home until... things are settled. And Stacey is not the only one being threatened by this animal. Well, read more about it from Stacey, though I could link many other bloggers who have their own stories or who are also putting out the facts. This madness from the left has to be confronted, and stopped, and these behaviors nipped in the bud. Or, from this point. Though from now on we are going to have to act much more quickly to stamp out these little firestarters.
Not much.
.
.
It was almost going to be a nothing day again today. I saw a man arrive and head out back to dig. I hurried up and dressed to go out. It seems he has been coming over when I have been gone. I hadn't checked the hole in a bit, but he has dug the main shaft down, including today, about five feet deep. He found the pipe, finally, today. But to get it right I need to dig out another two or three feet down to the original depth of the extra part of the hole I dug, then dig that other part I dug down another two feet, in order that we can get to the pipes and work with them. After he left I go to it. I have about a third of what I need picked and shoveled but I... have limits. I hit my limit and kept going. I hit one more limit and kept going at a limp. I finally hit a brick wall. But I did dig, I picked, and moved some decent amount of dirt. I feel extremely guilty about... having a working man do my work. Any man really. But there is no way I could have done it all. On the good side, by looks, he thought I was 37, 39, maybe 40. He was just a bit surprised at my real age. Then again, he is only 10 years younger but looks more like he is in his mid 20's. Perhaps men have no idea about age? Nah, I was a bouncer. I got pretty good at that, and in dim lighting. Skills do fade though too.
That digging beat the dirt out of me. Tomorrow? I'll try and get back out there. I need to get into town. He told me what parts to get and I'll get them. If I can move. Then again I really don't hurt. I can usually tell by now if I am going to hurt. Muscles get really tight and stay that way. My neck feels pretty tight but the rest of me might be good. It's more a matter of reserves. Do I have any spit left. I simply don't know that, and won't until tomorrow. I will be calling my friend to see if he wants to get out tomorrow. We will be stopping at one of his favorite stores. I had thought to eat but I don't have enough spit for it. A big glass of milk, a shower, and to bed... after the call. Oh, right, I best set up my medicines for tomorrow. Hmm, while I am in town I will buy that heart friendly aspirin, or aspiring dosed for daily heart care.
It does feel good to work. And I had meant to do it. I'm just not sure. Hmm, in to town early, as early as I can, so I can get back to work on the hole, get those steps chunked out, before my helper returns. I just hate having a man do work for me after he has worked all day. Work means a lot more to me, in some ways, than it does to most. What you have the least of is the most precious. And yet, if nothing else, this takes his time. The thing he has the least of. I... just have to try and do at least my part, put in some effort, show that I'm not a complete invalid. If it kills me. And... I'll do it.
Good night.
.
It was almost going to be a nothing day again today. I saw a man arrive and head out back to dig. I hurried up and dressed to go out. It seems he has been coming over when I have been gone. I hadn't checked the hole in a bit, but he has dug the main shaft down, including today, about five feet deep. He found the pipe, finally, today. But to get it right I need to dig out another two or three feet down to the original depth of the extra part of the hole I dug, then dig that other part I dug down another two feet, in order that we can get to the pipes and work with them. After he left I go to it. I have about a third of what I need picked and shoveled but I... have limits. I hit my limit and kept going. I hit one more limit and kept going at a limp. I finally hit a brick wall. But I did dig, I picked, and moved some decent amount of dirt. I feel extremely guilty about... having a working man do my work. Any man really. But there is no way I could have done it all. On the good side, by looks, he thought I was 37, 39, maybe 40. He was just a bit surprised at my real age. Then again, he is only 10 years younger but looks more like he is in his mid 20's. Perhaps men have no idea about age? Nah, I was a bouncer. I got pretty good at that, and in dim lighting. Skills do fade though too.
That digging beat the dirt out of me. Tomorrow? I'll try and get back out there. I need to get into town. He told me what parts to get and I'll get them. If I can move. Then again I really don't hurt. I can usually tell by now if I am going to hurt. Muscles get really tight and stay that way. My neck feels pretty tight but the rest of me might be good. It's more a matter of reserves. Do I have any spit left. I simply don't know that, and won't until tomorrow. I will be calling my friend to see if he wants to get out tomorrow. We will be stopping at one of his favorite stores. I had thought to eat but I don't have enough spit for it. A big glass of milk, a shower, and to bed... after the call. Oh, right, I best set up my medicines for tomorrow. Hmm, while I am in town I will buy that heart friendly aspirin, or aspiring dosed for daily heart care.
It does feel good to work. And I had meant to do it. I'm just not sure. Hmm, in to town early, as early as I can, so I can get back to work on the hole, get those steps chunked out, before my helper returns. I just hate having a man do work for me after he has worked all day. Work means a lot more to me, in some ways, than it does to most. What you have the least of is the most precious. And yet, if nothing else, this takes his time. The thing he has the least of. I... just have to try and do at least my part, put in some effort, show that I'm not a complete invalid. If it kills me. And... I'll do it.
Good night.
Good sleep, good God, good coffee.
.
.
Oh yes, I've been on a roll with prayers, big and little. I try to take a good chunk of time before sleeping to pray. I spend time filling God in on what, who, where, when, and being thankful about the day and what I do have. As my mind and world begin to come together into some kind of a plan for whatever future I have, yeah... I'm making some other plans too. I pray on the road, often, because I am a road warrior. GET IN, GET OUT, THEN HOME! My mind keeps telling me when driving. I don't want to be on the roads with you any more than you want me riding your bumper looking for a place to pass when you are driving 55, or 45 to 53, or whatever, on a posted 60 road. Really! I want to pass you and be going 65. And, really, I would much rather be going 85 and just GET HOME, if I don't even when I can. HOME. Still, patience and such is sometimes all there is when ten vehicles between you and me decide you are driving fast enough for them.
I really had to consider coffee today. I have the old, of course. And, it was... okay. But I had fresh! I hate wasting money, product, etc. I'm not so much a spendthrift or an earth first guy, at all. I am an efficiency buff. Efficiency of economy, of action, of electrical power, and anything else. My whole life has been reduced to getting the very most out of the very least, simply because most frequently that is all I have. With trembling fingers, as they dropped the old coffee into the garbage, I sniffed a little and got to work grinding the new coffee for a fresh pot. Oh heaven! Yeah, okay, I can do it. And it was worth it. If I composted I would have felt better. As is, it just had to be done. The smell, the taste, yeah...
I had a dream last night. My friends, guy friends, and myself were having a "guy" party. Well, that is what we told our wives. There were a lot of hot women there, of course. Every once in a while though, we got all the (single hot) women to step out for just a bit, and used our smart phones to talk to our wives, walking around with the vid feed going, letting our wives talk to the other guys. Telling them how much fun guy bonding we were having. No wives really wanted to break that up, or show up. Then we would let the hot babes back in. Oh, yeah, I could see that back in the day, had I been married. The truth is I never lied to the women I was with. I didn't have to. They knew. The thing was no promises. Well, until I hit... what... the 30's, in practice, the mid 20's in principle? Yeah, something like that. Even then it was more to do with me than the woman. Having three or four women, on top of your main, call and harass you whenever they got a stick up there butt was a pain. Talk about slavery. Still, it was a... funny dream. The management doesn't approve, but it 'do know'. Still, I recommend not making promises you don't intend to keep, or can't keep. It's... the better part of foul valor, to my mind. Don't even think about telling me your conscience wouldn't allow it or even that your woman wouldn't. Don't. It's not that you are trying to use the wrong key, your using the wrong key at the wrong house. Go figure it out before you end up married, cheating, then angry at your wife for your failed promises, then divorced or in a horrible marriage.
Today is the day to decide whether to raise my dose of carvedilol or stick with the plan. I do believe I am going to up the dose. With my bp still running in the 194-215/124-133 range after two weeks of everything maxed save carvedilol, I simply don't think I have a choice. My bp has been running that hot for at least two months, since I started monitoring again. If I don't bring that down something is going to pop. All I need is another hole in the head, innit?
Today I am going to get out and try to pick and shovel. Just an half hour or so, if I can keep on it. I'll take a timer. Anything else I can manage to do will be good. A load or two of dishes, a load or two of laundry, and some picking up are on the agenda. Nothing fancy, nothing fast, and only the picking and shoveling as real work. Something I noticed recently... I truly despise 'little work', work that doesn't use my engines at something like full capacity. It takes more energy for me to do dishes, in a way, because I never work up to breaking a sweat, and can't. Same with laundry. My system just wasn't made for that kind of work. It is essential work. It makes the rest of what I do possible. But it is more annoying than a small swarm of gnats. If that were tended I would see myself to a lot more physical work. While that didn't happen in the past, the opportunity for physical work was not always available. Here, in my own home, it is. And I like to do it. But to do physical work I need food. And to get food, I need to shop and do cook. In order to cook and shop I need clean clothes and clean dishes, pots, pans, utensils, and the rest. That is the weak link in the chain. Yes, when my mother is here, for example, she takes care of the house so I can simply focus on stuff she can't do, or can't do well. A wife sure is seeming better and better.
Of course, there is a face that keeps coming to mind when I think about marriage. Oh, yes there is. I do believe what I wrote above has a lot to do with the problem some men have with marriage. But I can't quite think that is all of it. Women can be just as smart, crafty, object oriented, and fruitful in their efforts as any men, sometimes twice over within their limits. It's the insane side that I keep obsessing with. The piss tests ("Do these pants (skirt, dress, whatever) make my ass look big"... "Why yes, but I love big targets!"), the questions ("What are you thinking?"... "I'm trying not to think, please leave me to that ma'dear."), the paranoia, want for more than I am, horrendous mood changes, odd sex drives, and such that... Well, and that face. Oh, the face? Hmm, this man knows the face. If I think he... he has a goodly part in the making of that face. Then again, he probably just bought into the whole 'pretty face is good to marry, so whatever' thing. And he... obviously has some issues beyond that. Still... Heh. Now, I've never really had a broken heart but the other problems he discusses? I've never been married either.
Yep, another day another chance. All good. I have a goodly little bit of time to wake up, read the blogs, check on real news, and just tinker for a bit. I will probably need a nap by noon. Hopefully just a nap. And I should be able to get a number of bigger and smaller things done. Or... not. Time will tell. Hmm, oh, and there is my part of the mowing. Yes indeed. Sometime.
Have a good morning! Go to work with a smile, if you have to fake it so be it. It's worth the returns.
.
Oh yes, I've been on a roll with prayers, big and little. I try to take a good chunk of time before sleeping to pray. I spend time filling God in on what, who, where, when, and being thankful about the day and what I do have. As my mind and world begin to come together into some kind of a plan for whatever future I have, yeah... I'm making some other plans too. I pray on the road, often, because I am a road warrior. GET IN, GET OUT, THEN HOME! My mind keeps telling me when driving. I don't want to be on the roads with you any more than you want me riding your bumper looking for a place to pass when you are driving 55, or 45 to 53, or whatever, on a posted 60 road. Really! I want to pass you and be going 65. And, really, I would much rather be going 85 and just GET HOME, if I don't even when I can. HOME. Still, patience and such is sometimes all there is when ten vehicles between you and me decide you are driving fast enough for them.
I really had to consider coffee today. I have the old, of course. And, it was... okay. But I had fresh! I hate wasting money, product, etc. I'm not so much a spendthrift or an earth first guy, at all. I am an efficiency buff. Efficiency of economy, of action, of electrical power, and anything else. My whole life has been reduced to getting the very most out of the very least, simply because most frequently that is all I have. With trembling fingers, as they dropped the old coffee into the garbage, I sniffed a little and got to work grinding the new coffee for a fresh pot. Oh heaven! Yeah, okay, I can do it. And it was worth it. If I composted I would have felt better. As is, it just had to be done. The smell, the taste, yeah...
I had a dream last night. My friends, guy friends, and myself were having a "guy" party. Well, that is what we told our wives. There were a lot of hot women there, of course. Every once in a while though, we got all the (single hot) women to step out for just a bit, and used our smart phones to talk to our wives, walking around with the vid feed going, letting our wives talk to the other guys. Telling them how much fun guy bonding we were having. No wives really wanted to break that up, or show up. Then we would let the hot babes back in. Oh, yeah, I could see that back in the day, had I been married. The truth is I never lied to the women I was with. I didn't have to. They knew. The thing was no promises. Well, until I hit... what... the 30's, in practice, the mid 20's in principle? Yeah, something like that. Even then it was more to do with me than the woman. Having three or four women, on top of your main, call and harass you whenever they got a stick up there butt was a pain. Talk about slavery. Still, it was a... funny dream. The management doesn't approve, but it 'do know'. Still, I recommend not making promises you don't intend to keep, or can't keep. It's... the better part of foul valor, to my mind. Don't even think about telling me your conscience wouldn't allow it or even that your woman wouldn't. Don't. It's not that you are trying to use the wrong key, your using the wrong key at the wrong house. Go figure it out before you end up married, cheating, then angry at your wife for your failed promises, then divorced or in a horrible marriage.
Today is the day to decide whether to raise my dose of carvedilol or stick with the plan. I do believe I am going to up the dose. With my bp still running in the 194-215/124-133 range after two weeks of everything maxed save carvedilol, I simply don't think I have a choice. My bp has been running that hot for at least two months, since I started monitoring again. If I don't bring that down something is going to pop. All I need is another hole in the head, innit?
Today I am going to get out and try to pick and shovel. Just an half hour or so, if I can keep on it. I'll take a timer. Anything else I can manage to do will be good. A load or two of dishes, a load or two of laundry, and some picking up are on the agenda. Nothing fancy, nothing fast, and only the picking and shoveling as real work. Something I noticed recently... I truly despise 'little work', work that doesn't use my engines at something like full capacity. It takes more energy for me to do dishes, in a way, because I never work up to breaking a sweat, and can't. Same with laundry. My system just wasn't made for that kind of work. It is essential work. It makes the rest of what I do possible. But it is more annoying than a small swarm of gnats. If that were tended I would see myself to a lot more physical work. While that didn't happen in the past, the opportunity for physical work was not always available. Here, in my own home, it is. And I like to do it. But to do physical work I need food. And to get food, I need to shop and do cook. In order to cook and shop I need clean clothes and clean dishes, pots, pans, utensils, and the rest. That is the weak link in the chain. Yes, when my mother is here, for example, she takes care of the house so I can simply focus on stuff she can't do, or can't do well. A wife sure is seeming better and better.
Of course, there is a face that keeps coming to mind when I think about marriage. Oh, yes there is. I do believe what I wrote above has a lot to do with the problem some men have with marriage. But I can't quite think that is all of it. Women can be just as smart, crafty, object oriented, and fruitful in their efforts as any men, sometimes twice over within their limits. It's the insane side that I keep obsessing with. The piss tests ("Do these pants (skirt, dress, whatever) make my ass look big"... "Why yes, but I love big targets!"), the questions ("What are you thinking?"... "I'm trying not to think, please leave me to that ma'dear."), the paranoia, want for more than I am, horrendous mood changes, odd sex drives, and such that... Well, and that face. Oh, the face? Hmm, this man knows the face. If I think he... he has a goodly part in the making of that face. Then again, he probably just bought into the whole 'pretty face is good to marry, so whatever' thing. And he... obviously has some issues beyond that. Still... Heh. Now, I've never really had a broken heart but the other problems he discusses? I've never been married either.
Yep, another day another chance. All good. I have a goodly little bit of time to wake up, read the blogs, check on real news, and just tinker for a bit. I will probably need a nap by noon. Hopefully just a nap. And I should be able to get a number of bigger and smaller things done. Or... not. Time will tell. Hmm, oh, and there is my part of the mowing. Yes indeed. Sometime.
Have a good morning! Go to work with a smile, if you have to fake it so be it. It's worth the returns.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
A bit of homework today.
.
.
No, not actual work. After months of not being very aware of my finances, simply hoping automatic payment was working, something triggered a review. Well, and one of the things I did today was to call and regain access to one of my accounts. Online access is required when that bank is over a thousand miles away. But what triggered a review was a check, a return from my home escrow. I have also received some other refunds. The group totaled over $1300. I was RICH! I thought, initially, that I would... spend two to three hundred and plant the rest. Then I started thinking back. Hmm, I have been... spending like a Democrat. So, a review was in order. As well, when I checked the mail I also found most of my bills.
As it turns out that return money will just, exactly, put my nest egg at the level I wanted it. In my local account. My distant account gives me about the refund amounts total over my nest egg 'zero'. However, while I have all the tools and parts for replacing the water heater, I don't have the water heater. And there may be additional purchases to be made, so I don't consider the "extra" as extra at all. Remember, I want to lay new flooring in there first. That isn't going to just be the flooring, but possibly subflooring, and a drain of some sort (yes, yes, I WILL hook it into the main drain, fine, alrighty?). Assuming I don't find more trouble under there than even that. As well, a new toilet, new vanity, and a decent mirror would be very reasonable. So, that "extra" thousand is looking more like a start. The vanity may not be a choice, in any case, as it is attached to the floor and the wall. If the floor is bad I will simply have no choice. Thought that doesn't break my heart at all, until sticker shock hits me... but that's another story. I can probably wait, or skip, a new toilet. It... mostly works. It's just so damned small! If the floor is good this should be a breeze though... If I could just get to it!
Still, this puts my quickly shrinking nest egg back to rights and wakes me up. Although I did notice that my phone is overpaid by nearly $200 and my electric utility bill is again at over $500 above what was due. I'll... eventually get that paperwork to get the utility payment hooked directly to what is due... eventually. That adds to having a little room to play, though, with the on suite bathroom upgrades. Oh, and I did finally take care of that one nagging bill, the city utilities. I paid $200, plus checks out to September, and probably more than what I owe each month. Plus I ended up only owing about two months in back dues, so that I ended up overpaying by $130 or so right up front, which adds another nearly four months after September (maybe even another month by monthly overpayments too, maybe). Yeah, my bills are... good. My nest egg is good. And payday is just around the corner. I only pay on three actual debts currently. The Xterra will take a bit, my home much longer, but the card is coming down just fine (though that card company sold out and I don't too much care for the company that bought it, any funny stuff and I'll sacrifice some nest egg and send the payments I had been sending to the card to my nest egg instead... no (interest rate) funny stuff).
What I need to start doing, and have never done well to date, is to tack things down. I really didn't think I would make it to my mid 20's, then 30's. But... here I am. And I was moving quite a lot, still with dreams of some magical future, or at least near future. To figure out costs, expenses, and create a budget. With the nest egg I have a little room for error and to figure things out. Once I have a reasonable handle on things, I then need to start tackling my home payments. I would like to add 50%, perhaps 100% if I can swing it. It would be fun to absolutely demolish that loan as fast and hard as I can. I just have to make sure I don't try to squeeze myself too tightly. I still need nominal improvements, repairs, common living, a little luxury, and a bit of breathing room. How much? I... I simply don't know yet.
Oh, no worries. It'll take me six months to a year to ever get going on this. You know me. You KNOW me. But, once a thing is realistically on my radar, eventually it will get hit. Turtle 1 to control, I have a lock. I repeat, I have a lock. And I'm... well... right on that. Yeah, YEAH, I'm... where's the button. What? Nap time...
Yeah, it is looking good. It's looking better than it ever has for me. Since I just can't seem to die as probability seems to dictate should be the case, I best get ready to survive to my 111th birthday. If I make it, I know some doctor's graves I am going to find. Yep, I'm going to piss on them. And smoke a cigar while doing so, with a double scotch on the rocks hold the rocks, and probably hire a stripper to entertain me while I do it. Just... Some things are just going to have to happen, that's all. I hope God will forgive. Still, I have to wonder if He won't have just a touch of understanding too. Yipee kiyeah... *mumbles* psychopathogens.
Well, dinner arrived! I am hungry. Have a great day!
.
No, not actual work. After months of not being very aware of my finances, simply hoping automatic payment was working, something triggered a review. Well, and one of the things I did today was to call and regain access to one of my accounts. Online access is required when that bank is over a thousand miles away. But what triggered a review was a check, a return from my home escrow. I have also received some other refunds. The group totaled over $1300. I was RICH! I thought, initially, that I would... spend two to three hundred and plant the rest. Then I started thinking back. Hmm, I have been... spending like a Democrat. So, a review was in order. As well, when I checked the mail I also found most of my bills.
As it turns out that return money will just, exactly, put my nest egg at the level I wanted it. In my local account. My distant account gives me about the refund amounts total over my nest egg 'zero'. However, while I have all the tools and parts for replacing the water heater, I don't have the water heater. And there may be additional purchases to be made, so I don't consider the "extra" as extra at all. Remember, I want to lay new flooring in there first. That isn't going to just be the flooring, but possibly subflooring, and a drain of some sort (yes, yes, I WILL hook it into the main drain, fine, alrighty?). Assuming I don't find more trouble under there than even that. As well, a new toilet, new vanity, and a decent mirror would be very reasonable. So, that "extra" thousand is looking more like a start. The vanity may not be a choice, in any case, as it is attached to the floor and the wall. If the floor is bad I will simply have no choice. Thought that doesn't break my heart at all, until sticker shock hits me... but that's another story. I can probably wait, or skip, a new toilet. It... mostly works. It's just so damned small! If the floor is good this should be a breeze though... If I could just get to it!
Still, this puts my quickly shrinking nest egg back to rights and wakes me up. Although I did notice that my phone is overpaid by nearly $200 and my electric utility bill is again at over $500 above what was due. I'll... eventually get that paperwork to get the utility payment hooked directly to what is due... eventually. That adds to having a little room to play, though, with the on suite bathroom upgrades. Oh, and I did finally take care of that one nagging bill, the city utilities. I paid $200, plus checks out to September, and probably more than what I owe each month. Plus I ended up only owing about two months in back dues, so that I ended up overpaying by $130 or so right up front, which adds another nearly four months after September (maybe even another month by monthly overpayments too, maybe). Yeah, my bills are... good. My nest egg is good. And payday is just around the corner. I only pay on three actual debts currently. The Xterra will take a bit, my home much longer, but the card is coming down just fine (though that card company sold out and I don't too much care for the company that bought it, any funny stuff and I'll sacrifice some nest egg and send the payments I had been sending to the card to my nest egg instead... no (interest rate) funny stuff).
What I need to start doing, and have never done well to date, is to tack things down. I really didn't think I would make it to my mid 20's, then 30's. But... here I am. And I was moving quite a lot, still with dreams of some magical future, or at least near future. To figure out costs, expenses, and create a budget. With the nest egg I have a little room for error and to figure things out. Once I have a reasonable handle on things, I then need to start tackling my home payments. I would like to add 50%, perhaps 100% if I can swing it. It would be fun to absolutely demolish that loan as fast and hard as I can. I just have to make sure I don't try to squeeze myself too tightly. I still need nominal improvements, repairs, common living, a little luxury, and a bit of breathing room. How much? I... I simply don't know yet.
Oh, no worries. It'll take me six months to a year to ever get going on this. You know me. You KNOW me. But, once a thing is realistically on my radar, eventually it will get hit. Turtle 1 to control, I have a lock. I repeat, I have a lock. And I'm... well... right on that. Yeah, YEAH, I'm... where's the button. What? Nap time...
Yeah, it is looking good. It's looking better than it ever has for me. Since I just can't seem to die as probability seems to dictate should be the case, I best get ready to survive to my 111th birthday. If I make it, I know some doctor's graves I am going to find. Yep, I'm going to piss on them. And smoke a cigar while doing so, with a double scotch on the rocks hold the rocks, and probably hire a stripper to entertain me while I do it. Just... Some things are just going to have to happen, that's all. I hope God will forgive. Still, I have to wonder if He won't have just a touch of understanding too. Yipee kiyeah... *mumbles* psychopathogens.
Well, dinner arrived! I am hungry. Have a great day!
Hmm...
.
.
I was sure, after that last post, that I would pull it together. As I sat reading a few more blogs, then tinkering, my will was slipping. I became lethargic, then sleepy to the point of going in and laying down. I popped up and set the alarm in the hopes that, with a few hours of rest, I would be ready to go to town. I had my doubts. I checked my blood pressure, it was 210/124, I just can't understand that. I have been taking my medicine, 'xactly. I laid back out, covered over, and started to drift. I was just about to fall asleep when a little voice caught my attention. *now* Or, some such. Such a small word, but in the blackening consciousness that is the beginning of sleep it electrified me. So quiet, so passive, so powerful. I got up, pulled out the trimmer to get most of the beard knocked off, grabbed clean shorts and a t-shirt, and headed in to the functional bathroom. I quickly started the shower water, washed my glasses, then *censored*. Climbing out of the shower I shaved the rest of the way, dressed, with my partial wear, doodled my hair into a high flattop, sort of, then headed to the bedroom to finish my affairs.
Yes! I made it out. And I hit every store on my list. Not fully successful though, no offal was to be found at the places I stopped. I bought a ton of short to mid term food. Any grouping seems small, but combined I have a dozen cans of several vegetables and a number of fruits. I did buy sweets, and sugars. Canned tuna and chicken were purchased in bulk. A number of bags, plates, and various other items were also purchased. While not perfect, not complete, and not everything I had hoped to buy, I did buy enough to see me through a short dry spell. I will be working on the list, adding pieces and parts, if a bit more slowly, as I go through the next few months. But it has started. It was a pleasure to sort and then store the items away in what one might call the beginnings of a true larder. While certainly not a chef's larder, it has the promise of being any families blessing in times of lean or fat. I hope to spend between a hundred and two hundred at the beginning of each month, only buying items I know I can and will eat and use, or buying a sampling to test, on top of typical groceries. No, no list at the moment, I just went and bought. At $320ish and change, I put a decent little pile of food and extras together. I also bought ham, milk, and things I need for right this week, right now. I made it to the coffee shop and tobacco outlet. And, as a final insult on top of injury, I bought a meal on the way out of town.
Oh, by the way, by my reckoning? That will be the last tobacco purchase I make. The next time I get to town, and I need to as I couldn't get as much wet cat food as I wanted, I will buy my first month of patches. I will definitely grab my friend this next time too. I bet he is itching to get out. Perhaps Friday, I need to see the store manager I have been meaning to discuss some things with as well and his next workday is Friday. Next month I will buy another month of patches, and when my mother gets here, or a bit before or after (I won't waste that tobacco!), I will begin using the patches. She has quit and has laid down the gauntlet. Well, actually she dropped it and my big toe is still throbbing from it but the first telling sounds better.
I won't, however, be shoveling and picking at the hole. Beside it looking as if it will rain at any moment, I am done. For now. I was able to do all the shopping and putting everything away without a hitch, but doing more is definitely not in me. Oh, I best move the X back into the garage too. Quite a day, quite a haul. I even managed to finally check my mail. I set the dishes to a fresh soak before I left. I do not know if I will be getting to those, but you know... I really am itching to do one more thing today. No promises. I simply can't promise. But... maybe. Life is good.
Well, I hope you are having a good day yourself. Or at least holding up, holding on, or enjoying the fall. :p If you can't choose it, at least figure out how to enjoy it.
.
I was sure, after that last post, that I would pull it together. As I sat reading a few more blogs, then tinkering, my will was slipping. I became lethargic, then sleepy to the point of going in and laying down. I popped up and set the alarm in the hopes that, with a few hours of rest, I would be ready to go to town. I had my doubts. I checked my blood pressure, it was 210/124, I just can't understand that. I have been taking my medicine, 'xactly. I laid back out, covered over, and started to drift. I was just about to fall asleep when a little voice caught my attention. *now* Or, some such. Such a small word, but in the blackening consciousness that is the beginning of sleep it electrified me. So quiet, so passive, so powerful. I got up, pulled out the trimmer to get most of the beard knocked off, grabbed clean shorts and a t-shirt, and headed in to the functional bathroom. I quickly started the shower water, washed my glasses, then *censored*. Climbing out of the shower I shaved the rest of the way, dressed, with my partial wear, doodled my hair into a high flattop, sort of, then headed to the bedroom to finish my affairs.
Yes! I made it out. And I hit every store on my list. Not fully successful though, no offal was to be found at the places I stopped. I bought a ton of short to mid term food. Any grouping seems small, but combined I have a dozen cans of several vegetables and a number of fruits. I did buy sweets, and sugars. Canned tuna and chicken were purchased in bulk. A number of bags, plates, and various other items were also purchased. While not perfect, not complete, and not everything I had hoped to buy, I did buy enough to see me through a short dry spell. I will be working on the list, adding pieces and parts, if a bit more slowly, as I go through the next few months. But it has started. It was a pleasure to sort and then store the items away in what one might call the beginnings of a true larder. While certainly not a chef's larder, it has the promise of being any families blessing in times of lean or fat. I hope to spend between a hundred and two hundred at the beginning of each month, only buying items I know I can and will eat and use, or buying a sampling to test, on top of typical groceries. No, no list at the moment, I just went and bought. At $320ish and change, I put a decent little pile of food and extras together. I also bought ham, milk, and things I need for right this week, right now. I made it to the coffee shop and tobacco outlet. And, as a final insult on top of injury, I bought a meal on the way out of town.
Oh, by the way, by my reckoning? That will be the last tobacco purchase I make. The next time I get to town, and I need to as I couldn't get as much wet cat food as I wanted, I will buy my first month of patches. I will definitely grab my friend this next time too. I bet he is itching to get out. Perhaps Friday, I need to see the store manager I have been meaning to discuss some things with as well and his next workday is Friday. Next month I will buy another month of patches, and when my mother gets here, or a bit before or after (I won't waste that tobacco!), I will begin using the patches. She has quit and has laid down the gauntlet. Well, actually she dropped it and my big toe is still throbbing from it but the first telling sounds better.
I won't, however, be shoveling and picking at the hole. Beside it looking as if it will rain at any moment, I am done. For now. I was able to do all the shopping and putting everything away without a hitch, but doing more is definitely not in me. Oh, I best move the X back into the garage too. Quite a day, quite a haul. I even managed to finally check my mail. I set the dishes to a fresh soak before I left. I do not know if I will be getting to those, but you know... I really am itching to do one more thing today. No promises. I simply can't promise. But... maybe. Life is good.
Well, I hope you are having a good day yourself. Or at least holding up, holding on, or enjoying the fall. :p If you can't choose it, at least figure out how to enjoy it.
Ah, looks like the day!
.
.
Before I went back to bed I did a bit'o'research. No, not in Ireland. It seems this things cats do is common. It also isn't what I feared, a mating thing. It's called a Flehmen Response. It is a way for a cat to memorize a scent, though cats seem to not just memorize scents but to also analyze them. All good, and yes, I feel better. No, I'm not a cataphobe either. I just... some things... even some notions are just a bit creepy. After the research, I went down for a bit more sleep. Good sleep.
Waking an hour or two ago I decided hunger was a real issue. While a bit of hunger is good to keep me active, too much hunger is a problem in itself, and might lead me to overeat at just the wrong moment, either crashing my plans or at least making the drive home a real drag. Since it was still early, and some of the stores wouldn't have been open quite yet anyway, I decided to see what could be made. It turned out that I still had a can of corned beef hash, a carton of jumbo eggs, and my cast frying pan has been being kept used yet cleaned. Take all ingredients including pan, blend to a medium consistency, add a little hot sauce, pour over ice, and... breakfast. Give or take. A few hours to let that settle, maybe an hour more, and I should find myself in the shower, then shaven, dressed, and ready to go.
For a guy who goes slowly, I move when on my feet. Time, you see, is the issue. Not how much energy I expend in that time. I remembered the last item for my list this morning, while enjoying breakfast, and added it to the list. Finally, I put the list in order. My goal is to hit every single item on my list and in the order now listed. I know which way to enter town, which way to enter and leave the various shops, and believe it will be done. I won't be able to stop and do a social call though. Too much of what I am buying needs to be refrigerated quickly. And with as many places as I will be stopping this constraint will be tested a bit as is. However, with some things managed, and perhaps as a treat for doing a bit or a lot more digging if I can get to that, I will see me into town tomorrow again. Well, soon in any case. I really shouldn't do things day after day, that really has ended up beating me into the dirt. Or is that actually the right way, since I seem to fall down no matter? I still am not sure about that.
Never mind all the concerns. At this point I simply live my life to the best of my ability, do what I can, and pick it all back up when I can. I enjoy what I get, what I have, and what I am looking forward to doing. Good, bad, ugly, it's just the way any particular day might be. Since I can't change reality I have decided to change my outlook on it. It's all good if there are times that are better.
Good morning. Get out and have yourself a fine day. It is up to you, you know.
.
Before I went back to bed I did a bit'o'research. No, not in Ireland. It seems this things cats do is common. It also isn't what I feared, a mating thing. It's called a Flehmen Response. It is a way for a cat to memorize a scent, though cats seem to not just memorize scents but to also analyze them. All good, and yes, I feel better. No, I'm not a cataphobe either. I just... some things... even some notions are just a bit creepy. After the research, I went down for a bit more sleep. Good sleep.
Waking an hour or two ago I decided hunger was a real issue. While a bit of hunger is good to keep me active, too much hunger is a problem in itself, and might lead me to overeat at just the wrong moment, either crashing my plans or at least making the drive home a real drag. Since it was still early, and some of the stores wouldn't have been open quite yet anyway, I decided to see what could be made. It turned out that I still had a can of corned beef hash, a carton of jumbo eggs, and my cast frying pan has been being kept used yet cleaned. Take all ingredients including pan, blend to a medium consistency, add a little hot sauce, pour over ice, and... breakfast. Give or take. A few hours to let that settle, maybe an hour more, and I should find myself in the shower, then shaven, dressed, and ready to go.
For a guy who goes slowly, I move when on my feet. Time, you see, is the issue. Not how much energy I expend in that time. I remembered the last item for my list this morning, while enjoying breakfast, and added it to the list. Finally, I put the list in order. My goal is to hit every single item on my list and in the order now listed. I know which way to enter town, which way to enter and leave the various shops, and believe it will be done. I won't be able to stop and do a social call though. Too much of what I am buying needs to be refrigerated quickly. And with as many places as I will be stopping this constraint will be tested a bit as is. However, with some things managed, and perhaps as a treat for doing a bit or a lot more digging if I can get to that, I will see me into town tomorrow again. Well, soon in any case. I really shouldn't do things day after day, that really has ended up beating me into the dirt. Or is that actually the right way, since I seem to fall down no matter? I still am not sure about that.
Never mind all the concerns. At this point I simply live my life to the best of my ability, do what I can, and pick it all back up when I can. I enjoy what I get, what I have, and what I am looking forward to doing. Good, bad, ugly, it's just the way any particular day might be. Since I can't change reality I have decided to change my outlook on it. It's all good if there are times that are better.
Good morning. Get out and have yourself a fine day. It is up to you, you know.
Hmm, some things are true.
.
.
The bloody nose continued until... who knows. I checked ever so often, but it wasn't stopped until after 17:00. Ah well, tomorrow. One thing I wrote in the past, as sort of a funny but possibly true thing, was that my cats got that half sneeze half yawn, then froze that way for a few seconds, thing going with me from time to time. I was suggesting that I affect them oddly. Now, while I had seen that before, when they were near me at times, I wasn't honestly sure it was me. Perhaps a tom had urinated outside my window and it wafted in. Now, however, I know. Sassy came near me today, and saw a drop of blood on my shirt. She sniffed it and... did just what I had described. She smelled my blood two more times and it had the same odd effect each time. I do cause my cats some oddities. Heck, I had just been joking when I wrote about it before. Maybe all human blood makes cats do weird things? Then again, there was no blood the last few times they did that near me. She didn't try to eat or lick the blood though. Dunno. Weird.
Sleep was great. I am actually going to try to get back to bed for a bit, to have a better chance at taking care of everything on my list tomorrow. I have a list made, if I haven't bothered to prioritize it yet. That should only take a few seconds, really, probably. The reason I didn't do it already is that I have a nagging feeling the list isn't complete. I hate that when a few things just aren't coming to mind. Those items can come to mind and upset a plan in progress, usually do. Normally that would be fine but I am in such a rut that a new thing or two could jam the machine, shut down the effort. I am pondering it all and will review things in the morning. Gah! I hate nagging little items that just won't come to mind.
The weather is just about perfect for sleeping, at night. During the day a fan is becoming a requirement. Summer is coming. I really, if I can, after shopping tomorrow, need to get that hole dug. If not tomorrow then the day after. I don't want that project around when it hits 100 F. Further, I have some other physical jobs I would like to get out of the way before the temps climb into the stratosphere. Often, in those times, one can work early in the morning a bit, and sometimes in the later afternoon. But at high noon and for three hours on either side of it work becomes rather harsh. I already have trouble just getting to work, adding further caveats... doesn't help.
I am really behind on things. I simply can't catch a break, or make one. I can do things for a short bit, then I just drop like a sack of potatoes down a well. I'll keep things in mind, looking for the path to work, pushing when I can. If all fails I will just have to figure out another strategy. It's sort of fun, if a little frustrating. Cutting edge, doing whatever you do with the absolute bare minimum of what it takes. Then again, isn't that, to some degree, what life is? If you aren't on that edge, you seek it. Well, at least those who... want a little more.
Good night.
.
The bloody nose continued until... who knows. I checked ever so often, but it wasn't stopped until after 17:00. Ah well, tomorrow. One thing I wrote in the past, as sort of a funny but possibly true thing, was that my cats got that half sneeze half yawn, then froze that way for a few seconds, thing going with me from time to time. I was suggesting that I affect them oddly. Now, while I had seen that before, when they were near me at times, I wasn't honestly sure it was me. Perhaps a tom had urinated outside my window and it wafted in. Now, however, I know. Sassy came near me today, and saw a drop of blood on my shirt. She sniffed it and... did just what I had described. She smelled my blood two more times and it had the same odd effect each time. I do cause my cats some oddities. Heck, I had just been joking when I wrote about it before. Maybe all human blood makes cats do weird things? Then again, there was no blood the last few times they did that near me. She didn't try to eat or lick the blood though. Dunno. Weird.
Sleep was great. I am actually going to try to get back to bed for a bit, to have a better chance at taking care of everything on my list tomorrow. I have a list made, if I haven't bothered to prioritize it yet. That should only take a few seconds, really, probably. The reason I didn't do it already is that I have a nagging feeling the list isn't complete. I hate that when a few things just aren't coming to mind. Those items can come to mind and upset a plan in progress, usually do. Normally that would be fine but I am in such a rut that a new thing or two could jam the machine, shut down the effort. I am pondering it all and will review things in the morning. Gah! I hate nagging little items that just won't come to mind.
The weather is just about perfect for sleeping, at night. During the day a fan is becoming a requirement. Summer is coming. I really, if I can, after shopping tomorrow, need to get that hole dug. If not tomorrow then the day after. I don't want that project around when it hits 100 F. Further, I have some other physical jobs I would like to get out of the way before the temps climb into the stratosphere. Often, in those times, one can work early in the morning a bit, and sometimes in the later afternoon. But at high noon and for three hours on either side of it work becomes rather harsh. I already have trouble just getting to work, adding further caveats... doesn't help.
I am really behind on things. I simply can't catch a break, or make one. I can do things for a short bit, then I just drop like a sack of potatoes down a well. I'll keep things in mind, looking for the path to work, pushing when I can. If all fails I will just have to figure out another strategy. It's sort of fun, if a little frustrating. Cutting edge, doing whatever you do with the absolute bare minimum of what it takes. Then again, isn't that, to some degree, what life is? If you aren't on that edge, you seek it. Well, at least those who... want a little more.
Good night.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
How is that even possible?
.
.
While slowly prepping to get into town, and heading to the shower, I decided to clean my sinuses. Looks like I blew a gasket. Bloody nose, a real gusher. So, I do my usual, plug and pray. An hour and a half, or two, later and here I sit with a bloody nose, a real gusher. I'm going in to lay down for a bit, maybe it will quit there. Sitting just isn't enough. Tomorrow, to town, I suppose. The girls will just have to endure hard cat food and I will shut the door so Sassy can't try to mug me.
Later.
.
While slowly prepping to get into town, and heading to the shower, I decided to clean my sinuses. Looks like I blew a gasket. Bloody nose, a real gusher. So, I do my usual, plug and pray. An hour and a half, or two, later and here I sit with a bloody nose, a real gusher. I'm going in to lay down for a bit, maybe it will quit there. Sitting just isn't enough. Tomorrow, to town, I suppose. The girls will just have to endure hard cat food and I will shut the door so Sassy can't try to mug me.
Later.
To town?
.
.
I'm still awake. I am not very comfortable with going into town but I might just shove it through anyway. The time is right to get some of the more rarefied things accomplished. The things that require the 9:00 to 5:00 business hours, or thereabouts. Of course, going in weak I have to try and figure out what is best to do, since I might not get it all done. These medicines are absolutely snowing me, that is my problem. Usually, even on a worse health day, I could shove through. That is not the case. What do they put in that stuff, kryptonite?
I noticed that many Catholic institutions are suing for at least changes to Obamacare. The American Bishops council has been pushing universal health care for... a very long time. Before Obama, before Romney, before most people had thought of such a thing in America. I am not sure how far that goes up the chain, whether our Popes have agreed with that or not. For my part, I am very against it. And, I think this case is a perfect example of why to be against it.
While it seems reasonable to believe such a thing can occur, and technically has with Obamacare, the problem is the power it takes to enact such a thing usually develops in, and then is used by, people who are at a minimum antagonistic toward religion and definitely against the Church. The people that would mandate such a thing do it to martial their hold on power, and extend it. Such legislation is not, and never has been, intended to be a boon for the recipients by any governing body to date. Thus, when such power is garnered, then used, no other power can influence it.
I have to believe that American Bishops would know this. While, at times, any group can be somewhat untethered from realities, this group does not have that problem. They are rather well educated, in everything from the Church to history and well beyond that, with intense resources on any matter one could imagine. Some, perhaps many, of them have served in nations where socialism/communism is or was the rule. They have to know it cannot be negotiated with and such legislation as this only feeds the beast that wields that kind of power. Obviously, if at some cost and risks, that power does exist and is held. Perhaps they think this time will be different, like some battered wives? Or are there other problems? The remnants of those from the 60's and 70's are in power. Perhaps the taint has reached it's climax in those quarters? I actually don't know, for sure. I will be... learning more as I can. I simply know that you cannot negotiate with some forms of governments, and the Church should know this better than any. It has been ripped out of Britain, Mexico, and Russia, at least. It allowed the last would-be Holy Roman Emperor to fail for a reason, pulling it's armies back, recalling them to Rome at a critical juncture that would have reforged Europe. It at one time at least knew when the power once supported became too much of a burden... or threat.
I keep seeing little snippets of what people think regarding the teacher who told a student they could be arrested for disagreeing with Zero... give or take. It amazes me that this amazes anyone. Was I the only one who went through public schools? The liberalism in there is insane, and the hubris of the most offensive teachers is out of control. Some of the men teachers, not all of them but some of them, had some wits about this, but little control or power. Coaches were sometimes... half smart too. But mostly they hid these things. Right or wrong, they can't have every smarmy leftist teacher fired. So, what is there to do? I still suggest home schooling. Bring the wife home, have her do this. As for the good men? Use them to coach, in a community athletic department and in other forms of traditional male education, such as woodworking and shop. Get rid of the rest. There is no added cost, much lowered taxes actually, and with more women out of the workplace, the employee marketplace would become a lot better paying, allowing for a better life for families. That's an abbreviated set of events, but It'll get you there.
Hmm, shower, shave, dressing, driving... I'll think about where to go first, what I really have to have, and work out a viable plan before I get to town, see the traffic, and go bugeyed and lose my grip. Having that plan helps, even deciding which way to get into town makes a huge difference. Cities are hot, ugly, mean places. Best to be ready for the hubbub. College towns more so.
Later.
.
I'm still awake. I am not very comfortable with going into town but I might just shove it through anyway. The time is right to get some of the more rarefied things accomplished. The things that require the 9:00 to 5:00 business hours, or thereabouts. Of course, going in weak I have to try and figure out what is best to do, since I might not get it all done. These medicines are absolutely snowing me, that is my problem. Usually, even on a worse health day, I could shove through. That is not the case. What do they put in that stuff, kryptonite?
I noticed that many Catholic institutions are suing for at least changes to Obamacare. The American Bishops council has been pushing universal health care for... a very long time. Before Obama, before Romney, before most people had thought of such a thing in America. I am not sure how far that goes up the chain, whether our Popes have agreed with that or not. For my part, I am very against it. And, I think this case is a perfect example of why to be against it.
While it seems reasonable to believe such a thing can occur, and technically has with Obamacare, the problem is the power it takes to enact such a thing usually develops in, and then is used by, people who are at a minimum antagonistic toward religion and definitely against the Church. The people that would mandate such a thing do it to martial their hold on power, and extend it. Such legislation is not, and never has been, intended to be a boon for the recipients by any governing body to date. Thus, when such power is garnered, then used, no other power can influence it.
I have to believe that American Bishops would know this. While, at times, any group can be somewhat untethered from realities, this group does not have that problem. They are rather well educated, in everything from the Church to history and well beyond that, with intense resources on any matter one could imagine. Some, perhaps many, of them have served in nations where socialism/communism is or was the rule. They have to know it cannot be negotiated with and such legislation as this only feeds the beast that wields that kind of power. Obviously, if at some cost and risks, that power does exist and is held. Perhaps they think this time will be different, like some battered wives? Or are there other problems? The remnants of those from the 60's and 70's are in power. Perhaps the taint has reached it's climax in those quarters? I actually don't know, for sure. I will be... learning more as I can. I simply know that you cannot negotiate with some forms of governments, and the Church should know this better than any. It has been ripped out of Britain, Mexico, and Russia, at least. It allowed the last would-be Holy Roman Emperor to fail for a reason, pulling it's armies back, recalling them to Rome at a critical juncture that would have reforged Europe. It at one time at least knew when the power once supported became too much of a burden... or threat.
I keep seeing little snippets of what people think regarding the teacher who told a student they could be arrested for disagreeing with Zero... give or take. It amazes me that this amazes anyone. Was I the only one who went through public schools? The liberalism in there is insane, and the hubris of the most offensive teachers is out of control. Some of the men teachers, not all of them but some of them, had some wits about this, but little control or power. Coaches were sometimes... half smart too. But mostly they hid these things. Right or wrong, they can't have every smarmy leftist teacher fired. So, what is there to do? I still suggest home schooling. Bring the wife home, have her do this. As for the good men? Use them to coach, in a community athletic department and in other forms of traditional male education, such as woodworking and shop. Get rid of the rest. There is no added cost, much lowered taxes actually, and with more women out of the workplace, the employee marketplace would become a lot better paying, allowing for a better life for families. That's an abbreviated set of events, but It'll get you there.
Hmm, shower, shave, dressing, driving... I'll think about where to go first, what I really have to have, and work out a viable plan before I get to town, see the traffic, and go bugeyed and lose my grip. Having that plan helps, even deciding which way to get into town makes a huge difference. Cities are hot, ugly, mean places. Best to be ready for the hubbub. College towns more so.
Later.
Maybe I am more...
.
.
Fear inducing and terrifying than I thought. I wouldn't know so much with people, more directly and right about now, but I do have cats. And they fear me something awful, if what just happened is any indication. For some reason, when poppo is sitting on the facility, they... gather. I am not European, I do not sit like a woman unless I have no other choice. I yell at my cats from time to time, needing my privacy and such. I became distracted for a bit, my "smart phone" comes in handy in there since news isn't worth reading and I can't really concentrate for longer more interesting truthful tracts, like science fiction, or even history or such when I can find the good dope in those areas. Anyway, after terrifying my cats a couple of times, for encroachment, then going back to my gaming, a little time passed, and I felt something on my ear. A gnat maybe? It was my eldest cat! She was watching me game, over my shoulder! She had climbed up on poppo. I'm going to get a bad name with the ogre society if this ever gets out. I yelled at her and she just... looked me in the eye as if to say, "What's your problem?", and finally relented and got down. Bah!
Then again, most people do view me as rather... forgiving, even nice. And, for most people, that is exactly true. The ones who mean trouble, however, know exactly what I am. They generally take their trouble elsewhere. Even if they knew I had a thousand bucks in my pocket, that isn't worth dying over. Yeah, I see it on the streets when I go to big cities. They know. That is why my former neighbors, the good ones, in Iowa, hated to see me go. The local natives knew the score, so do decent folk. Although women are more like cats, in dealing with me. And, for my part, that's the way I keep it, if I do make them get off my back, when I notice. Ha! Some ogre I turned out to be.
.
Fear inducing and terrifying than I thought. I wouldn't know so much with people, more directly and right about now, but I do have cats. And they fear me something awful, if what just happened is any indication. For some reason, when poppo is sitting on the facility, they... gather. I am not European, I do not sit like a woman unless I have no other choice. I yell at my cats from time to time, needing my privacy and such. I became distracted for a bit, my "smart phone" comes in handy in there since news isn't worth reading and I can't really concentrate for longer more interesting truthful tracts, like science fiction, or even history or such when I can find the good dope in those areas. Anyway, after terrifying my cats a couple of times, for encroachment, then going back to my gaming, a little time passed, and I felt something on my ear. A gnat maybe? It was my eldest cat! She was watching me game, over my shoulder! She had climbed up on poppo. I'm going to get a bad name with the ogre society if this ever gets out. I yelled at her and she just... looked me in the eye as if to say, "What's your problem?", and finally relented and got down. Bah!
Then again, most people do view me as rather... forgiving, even nice. And, for most people, that is exactly true. The ones who mean trouble, however, know exactly what I am. They generally take their trouble elsewhere. Even if they knew I had a thousand bucks in my pocket, that isn't worth dying over. Yeah, I see it on the streets when I go to big cities. They know. That is why my former neighbors, the good ones, in Iowa, hated to see me go. The local natives knew the score, so do decent folk. Although women are more like cats, in dealing with me. And, for my part, that's the way I keep it, if I do make them get off my back, when I notice. Ha! Some ogre I turned out to be.
If you are going to sleep...
.
.
I hit it at about 10:00, give or take. I may have used the bathroom a time or two, can't be sure what was dream and what was real. I heard the doorbell at about 18:30? Something. Dinner had arrived! I tried to be cordial and show gratitude. Paying or not, be thankful, grateful, always. Having just awaken I was still going through waking twitches though. I can only hope I seemed pleasant. I ate in a hurry. Hungry! Yes. Then I crashed again. I slept until 1:30 or so. I have zero control of my sleep at this point, the medicine is doing it's thing. At least I have been having longer uptimes. I have been tending a few things.
I just put the dishes in a clean new soak. I will still have another load, or two, of dishes. All good. I really hope to get at least one of them done tonight. I don't feel too bad. With food coming in, some in my fridge, and a bit of caffeine in the form of coffee, I am not... doing too badly. But I have to get into town very soon. Tobacco is on it's last bits, while I have caffeine I am running low on milk (a requirement for me for coffee), the rest of the beans need ham, but most importantly I am running out of wet cat food. Oh the girls howl when they have only hard cat food. Sassy, the little one, becomes a little thug. She WILL claw, nip, harass, mewl, meow, and otherwise let me know she is NOT happy. Sam is good with it, for a short bit. That actually doesn't bug me though, don't care. Sassy doesn't always get what she wants I don't care how mad she gets. What bothers me is that, now that I have them used to a partial feed mix, I feel honor bound to continue it. My conscience, you see. That bugs me in sleep and wakefulness. That little detail is one of the things that makes me sweat marriage. How much more so a woman than a cat? YOUCH!
I have had some dentists tell me, from the x-rays, that I had extra molars coming back in. I know all of them where removed in the Navy, a requirement for submarine duty. I have had other dentists say there is nothing there, more recently. I wonder though, did they pull the extra molars at some time? I might have forgotten such a thing in one of my fogs. It seems, whatever the case, that something is trying to dig it's way out, again, behind my upper left set of teeth. It has torn the skin a bit and it sure feels like it did it from the inside. The area is sore. And I think I feel bone like material under there. Another another molar? Could be, or dentists have no idea what they are talking about on any given day either. Bah!
Hmm, well, a bit of time waking, then maybe dishes and another shower, and if I can rise to the level of action, a trip to town in a few hours. If I can get in there during the daylight, I can do many more things... if I can... maintain actionability. I may get in, hit two or three (or fewer) stores, and absolutely crash. That is why I don't like leaving home in these times. It is akin to leaving home with hard, occasional, unpredictable, diarrhea. You just don't know when, where, or how difficult or impossible to contain, an occurrence may be. Though I have never fallen asleep at the wheel I have had to push it to get home. Exhaustion can hit like a sledgehammer. Though, one trick that makes severity less likely is to wait until I am hungry and not eat while in town. Buying a meal on the way out of town, or getting food I can easily prepare when I get home, makes staying awake a lot easier too. Hunger is my friend. The promise of feeding that hunger is also an ally. So too is any kind of pain, so long as it is sharp, instantaneous, and controllable. I just don't go there, and would only do so for something vital. Three heavy rubber bands around my wrist would do nicely. But there would eventually be scarring. I need pretty heavy pain to get through the numbness. As I said, I don't, and won't, go there, save if the cause were life and death.
Later.
.
I hit it at about 10:00, give or take. I may have used the bathroom a time or two, can't be sure what was dream and what was real. I heard the doorbell at about 18:30? Something. Dinner had arrived! I tried to be cordial and show gratitude. Paying or not, be thankful, grateful, always. Having just awaken I was still going through waking twitches though. I can only hope I seemed pleasant. I ate in a hurry. Hungry! Yes. Then I crashed again. I slept until 1:30 or so. I have zero control of my sleep at this point, the medicine is doing it's thing. At least I have been having longer uptimes. I have been tending a few things.
I just put the dishes in a clean new soak. I will still have another load, or two, of dishes. All good. I really hope to get at least one of them done tonight. I don't feel too bad. With food coming in, some in my fridge, and a bit of caffeine in the form of coffee, I am not... doing too badly. But I have to get into town very soon. Tobacco is on it's last bits, while I have caffeine I am running low on milk (a requirement for me for coffee), the rest of the beans need ham, but most importantly I am running out of wet cat food. Oh the girls howl when they have only hard cat food. Sassy, the little one, becomes a little thug. She WILL claw, nip, harass, mewl, meow, and otherwise let me know she is NOT happy. Sam is good with it, for a short bit. That actually doesn't bug me though, don't care. Sassy doesn't always get what she wants I don't care how mad she gets. What bothers me is that, now that I have them used to a partial feed mix, I feel honor bound to continue it. My conscience, you see. That bugs me in sleep and wakefulness. That little detail is one of the things that makes me sweat marriage. How much more so a woman than a cat? YOUCH!
I have had some dentists tell me, from the x-rays, that I had extra molars coming back in. I know all of them where removed in the Navy, a requirement for submarine duty. I have had other dentists say there is nothing there, more recently. I wonder though, did they pull the extra molars at some time? I might have forgotten such a thing in one of my fogs. It seems, whatever the case, that something is trying to dig it's way out, again, behind my upper left set of teeth. It has torn the skin a bit and it sure feels like it did it from the inside. The area is sore. And I think I feel bone like material under there. Another another molar? Could be, or dentists have no idea what they are talking about on any given day either. Bah!
Hmm, well, a bit of time waking, then maybe dishes and another shower, and if I can rise to the level of action, a trip to town in a few hours. If I can get in there during the daylight, I can do many more things... if I can... maintain actionability. I may get in, hit two or three (or fewer) stores, and absolutely crash. That is why I don't like leaving home in these times. It is akin to leaving home with hard, occasional, unpredictable, diarrhea. You just don't know when, where, or how difficult or impossible to contain, an occurrence may be. Though I have never fallen asleep at the wheel I have had to push it to get home. Exhaustion can hit like a sledgehammer. Though, one trick that makes severity less likely is to wait until I am hungry and not eat while in town. Buying a meal on the way out of town, or getting food I can easily prepare when I get home, makes staying awake a lot easier too. Hunger is my friend. The promise of feeding that hunger is also an ally. So too is any kind of pain, so long as it is sharp, instantaneous, and controllable. I just don't go there, and would only do so for something vital. Three heavy rubber bands around my wrist would do nicely. But there would eventually be scarring. I need pretty heavy pain to get through the numbness. As I said, I don't, and won't, go there, save if the cause were life and death.
Later.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Who, me?
.
.
No, I'm having a ball. Sleep is still screwy, gnats are a pain, work is at a standstill, but life is good. Oh, real gnats. The other thing was more like a gnat of the mind and no more of a problem. A little testosterone and reason to put that bug to rest. I am hoping to hit town sometime today. I would like to buy a couple stacks of tuna, maybe a stack of canned chicken, and some other food. Enough for about three months on top of filling the pantry upstairs for a month. I hope to put it all in some kind of a rotation. Maybe canned veggies and fruits too. While I am at it I will look the store over a bit better. I am almost sure they will have freeze dried and dehydrated foods, though I could be wrong. Just a few cans of pre-mixed recipes, beef stroganoff and beef stew, for example, for really easy meals. It is not perfect but it is about as much as I can reasonably plan to be able to use.
Ah! I got the trash and recycling out, plus the kitty litter dealt with. I had been meaning to do that Friday. Which seems about perfect. If I had simply tried to do it Sunday I would have had it out by Tuesday. I do put in effort, I simply have been getting swamped and confused by sleep issues and hunger, though I often miss the target regardless. Planning to do things Friday gets it done by Monday morning. I will be skipping chili, for now. But another pan of beef, beans, and rice sans rice should be quite good. And rather than try to mix a batch of chili, while I am in town I may pick up a good small smoked ham to add to the rest of the beans, along with sour cream and milk. Yum! Sour cream takes a nominal bean or bean and ham soup and turns it into super yum. Milk just does a body good. Whole milk, three gallons a week now that spring is here. Like I said, my arteries are as clean as a whistle, I might as well enjoy that.
I wrote an article for a men's site. I have advised the owner of the site of my wish to publish it there. Oh, no money is involved. Nor is there fame. This is simply the beginning of something, perhaps. As I... begin exploring my notions regarding women, figuring out what has worked that is salvageable from the past and what is simply not functional given my new goals, and of course as I put those into practice, I would like to write about the experience. Win, lose, or draw I hope some other guy out there can decipher something and go on to a win. Marriage is a dirty job but somebody has to do it. Being willing isn't enough. Being able isn't enough. What is enough? I simply hope to find out, or learn something as I try to figure it out.
The next time I am in town at the right time I hope to see what is available with regards to sauteed cerveaux. With the freakiness about some issues, perhaps calf will not be available. Lamb or even pig might do. It is difficult to gauge how "protective" the government has gotten on some issues. If I can find a source, even if it isn't available immediately, I would be quite pleased. Oh, don't get all squeamish. Besides, if we are going to bother disturbing the life of an animal for it's edible parts, we owe it to the beast to use those parts fully. As well, I should much more easily find items by which to prepare sweetbreads. Uhrm, as soon as I come into my own a bit better. Just having a source will ease my mind on these things.
Have a great day.
.
No, I'm having a ball. Sleep is still screwy, gnats are a pain, work is at a standstill, but life is good. Oh, real gnats. The other thing was more like a gnat of the mind and no more of a problem. A little testosterone and reason to put that bug to rest. I am hoping to hit town sometime today. I would like to buy a couple stacks of tuna, maybe a stack of canned chicken, and some other food. Enough for about three months on top of filling the pantry upstairs for a month. I hope to put it all in some kind of a rotation. Maybe canned veggies and fruits too. While I am at it I will look the store over a bit better. I am almost sure they will have freeze dried and dehydrated foods, though I could be wrong. Just a few cans of pre-mixed recipes, beef stroganoff and beef stew, for example, for really easy meals. It is not perfect but it is about as much as I can reasonably plan to be able to use.
Ah! I got the trash and recycling out, plus the kitty litter dealt with. I had been meaning to do that Friday. Which seems about perfect. If I had simply tried to do it Sunday I would have had it out by Tuesday. I do put in effort, I simply have been getting swamped and confused by sleep issues and hunger, though I often miss the target regardless. Planning to do things Friday gets it done by Monday morning. I will be skipping chili, for now. But another pan of beef, beans, and rice sans rice should be quite good. And rather than try to mix a batch of chili, while I am in town I may pick up a good small smoked ham to add to the rest of the beans, along with sour cream and milk. Yum! Sour cream takes a nominal bean or bean and ham soup and turns it into super yum. Milk just does a body good. Whole milk, three gallons a week now that spring is here. Like I said, my arteries are as clean as a whistle, I might as well enjoy that.
I wrote an article for a men's site. I have advised the owner of the site of my wish to publish it there. Oh, no money is involved. Nor is there fame. This is simply the beginning of something, perhaps. As I... begin exploring my notions regarding women, figuring out what has worked that is salvageable from the past and what is simply not functional given my new goals, and of course as I put those into practice, I would like to write about the experience. Win, lose, or draw I hope some other guy out there can decipher something and go on to a win. Marriage is a dirty job but somebody has to do it. Being willing isn't enough. Being able isn't enough. What is enough? I simply hope to find out, or learn something as I try to figure it out.
The next time I am in town at the right time I hope to see what is available with regards to sauteed cerveaux. With the freakiness about some issues, perhaps calf will not be available. Lamb or even pig might do. It is difficult to gauge how "protective" the government has gotten on some issues. If I can find a source, even if it isn't available immediately, I would be quite pleased. Oh, don't get all squeamish. Besides, if we are going to bother disturbing the life of an animal for it's edible parts, we owe it to the beast to use those parts fully. As well, I should much more easily find items by which to prepare sweetbreads. Uhrm, as soon as I come into my own a bit better. Just having a source will ease my mind on these things.
Have a great day.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Sleep, and food, and sleep!?
.
.
So, how have YOU been.
Finally being able to sleep helped. A few thumps from my ribs while sleeping, but pretty much good otherwise. Upon waking a couple of hour or so ago, I took a shower, then back to bed for a bit. I heated beef and beans, after stirring again. Still quite tasty. Unfortunately I may be headed right back to bed. It is not the life anyone hopes for. But I am pretty sure if I get through this a bit it will get better, for a while.
Hmm, it looks like I pissed off a whole peck of women. And I feel really guilty, about like when I run through a swarm of bugs while driving. The only difference is I don't need to scrub the gunk off my windows. About the women who put up with violence? They do it for love, they sacrifice. For the family, for their children, for their husband, and even for themselves in the long run. I do have some respect for that. The others? What about them, I went there.
I wonder if I might just be grumpy, in a foul mood. But, no. Not on this. I've dealt with the issue in too many aspects of my life, with the exception of my own relationships. As I said, I simply never felt the need to beat a woman, even when she seemed to want it. I've had enough of violence and women aren't up to what I can give, most men aren't. I don't need violence when forced to call bullshit on a woman or deal with her forms of childishness, and no woman has seen fit to try violence on me... more than once. None of my women, alas at times, feared me either. Angry as I get, howling at the moon, some of them just... giggled, or even swatted at my notions. Sad but true, once they knew me well. Women even enjoyed arguing with me, even the last if she didn't realize it. What most of them realized was that they were safe to say anything to me. If too, an ill spoken word would get a verbal retort that might well rip right through their body, mind, and right to their soul if they wanted to pursue something egregiously... like this discussion, and wouldn't let it go. Oh yes, I did hear a yelp, but I think now it wasn't just one. Lots of skulkers out in them thar bushes. What is it they say about hollowpoints? Through the bush, off the rock... nothing but mush. I love twofers, but hundredfers? Love 'em a million times more. Love is not linear, you know.
Two hours up, with a micro-nap in there, give or take. Bed time again, even so. Man those meds kick my butt in the beginning.
Good night, again.
.
So, how have YOU been.
Finally being able to sleep helped. A few thumps from my ribs while sleeping, but pretty much good otherwise. Upon waking a couple of hour or so ago, I took a shower, then back to bed for a bit. I heated beef and beans, after stirring again. Still quite tasty. Unfortunately I may be headed right back to bed. It is not the life anyone hopes for. But I am pretty sure if I get through this a bit it will get better, for a while.
Hmm, it looks like I pissed off a whole peck of women. And I feel really guilty, about like when I run through a swarm of bugs while driving. The only difference is I don't need to scrub the gunk off my windows. About the women who put up with violence? They do it for love, they sacrifice. For the family, for their children, for their husband, and even for themselves in the long run. I do have some respect for that. The others? What about them, I went there.
I wonder if I might just be grumpy, in a foul mood. But, no. Not on this. I've dealt with the issue in too many aspects of my life, with the exception of my own relationships. As I said, I simply never felt the need to beat a woman, even when she seemed to want it. I've had enough of violence and women aren't up to what I can give, most men aren't. I don't need violence when forced to call bullshit on a woman or deal with her forms of childishness, and no woman has seen fit to try violence on me... more than once. None of my women, alas at times, feared me either. Angry as I get, howling at the moon, some of them just... giggled, or even swatted at my notions. Sad but true, once they knew me well. Women even enjoyed arguing with me, even the last if she didn't realize it. What most of them realized was that they were safe to say anything to me. If too, an ill spoken word would get a verbal retort that might well rip right through their body, mind, and right to their soul if they wanted to pursue something egregiously... like this discussion, and wouldn't let it go. Oh yes, I did hear a yelp, but I think now it wasn't just one. Lots of skulkers out in them thar bushes. What is it they say about hollowpoints? Through the bush, off the rock... nothing but mush. I love twofers, but hundredfers? Love 'em a million times more. Love is not linear, you know.
Two hours up, with a micro-nap in there, give or take. Bed time again, even so. Man those meds kick my butt in the beginning.
Good night, again.
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