If you are going to sleep...

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I hit it at about 10:00, give or take.  I may have used the bathroom a time or two, can't be sure what was dream and what was real.  I heard the doorbell at about 18:30?  Something.  Dinner had arrived!  I tried to be cordial and show gratitude.  Paying or not, be thankful, grateful, always.  Having just awaken I was still going through waking twitches though.  I can only hope I seemed pleasant.  I ate in a hurry.  Hungry!  Yes.  Then I crashed again.  I slept until 1:30 or so.  I have zero control of my sleep at this point, the medicine is doing it's thing.  At least I have been having longer uptimes.  I have been tending a few things.

I just put the dishes in a clean new soak.  I will still have another load, or two, of dishes.  All good.  I really hope to get at least one of them done tonight.  I don't feel too bad.  With food coming in, some in my fridge, and a bit of caffeine in the form of coffee, I am not... doing too badly.  But I have to get into town very soon.  Tobacco is on it's last bits, while I have caffeine I am running low on milk (a requirement for me for coffee), the rest of the beans need ham, but most importantly I am running out of wet cat food.  Oh the girls howl when they have only hard cat food.  Sassy, the little one, becomes a little thug.  She WILL claw, nip, harass, mewl, meow, and otherwise let me know she is NOT happy.  Sam is good with it, for a short bit.  That actually doesn't bug me though, don't care.  Sassy doesn't always get what she wants I don't care how mad she gets.  What bothers me is that, now that I have them used to a partial feed mix, I feel honor bound to continue it.  My conscience, you see.  That bugs me in sleep and wakefulness.  That little detail is one of the things that makes me sweat marriage.  How much more so a woman than a cat?  YOUCH!

I have had some dentists tell me, from the x-rays, that I had extra molars coming back in.  I know all of them where removed in the Navy, a requirement for submarine duty.  I have had other dentists say there is nothing there, more recently.  I wonder though, did they pull the extra molars at some time?  I might have forgotten such a thing in one of my fogs.  It seems, whatever the case, that something is trying to dig it's way out, again, behind my upper left set of teeth.  It has torn the skin a bit and it sure feels like it did it from the inside.  The area is sore.  And I think I feel bone like material under there.  Another another molar?  Could be, or dentists have no idea what they are talking about on any given day either.  Bah!

Hmm, well, a bit of time waking, then maybe dishes and another shower, and if I can rise to the level of action, a trip to town in a few hours.  If I can get in there during the daylight, I can do many more things... if I can... maintain actionability.  I may get in, hit two or three (or fewer) stores, and absolutely crash.  That is why I don't like leaving home in these times.  It is akin to leaving home with hard, occasional, unpredictable, diarrhea.  You just don't know when, where, or how difficult or impossible to contain, an occurrence may be.  Though I have never fallen asleep at the wheel I have had to push it to get home.  Exhaustion can hit like a sledgehammer.  Though, one trick that makes severity less likely is to wait until I am hungry and not eat while in town.  Buying a meal on the way out of town, or getting food I can easily prepare when I get home, makes staying awake a lot easier too.  Hunger is my friend.  The promise of feeding that hunger is also an ally.  So too is any kind of pain, so long as it is sharp, instantaneous, and controllable.  I just don't go there, and would only do so for something vital.  Three heavy rubber bands around my wrist would do nicely.  But there would eventually be scarring.  I need pretty heavy pain to get through the numbness.  As I said, I don't, and won't, go there, save if the cause were life and death.

Later.