Rough day.

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Can't sleep.  Body hurts, ribs mostly.  Yesterday, when I realized I was hungry, my ribs felt like they were coming unglued from the rest of me, or something like it.  My stomach felt like I had glass in there.  Today I just have a recurrence of those things.  It takes a while to work out starvation mode.  Yesterday, though, I was able to hide in sleep from much of the pain.  Today I simply have to endure.  I wonder how much pain I learned to simply sleep through before?  Probably quite a bit, going without food for much longer periods.  In the vid, watch the ribs, and the internal shots, starting at about the 40 second mark.  Yeah, like that.  It's a good thing I am solid.  Still, I honestly feel like death.  And I cannot sleep for the life of me.

I do think, the next time I can, that I need to speak with Father.  I need to let him know some things.  Oh, and I probably should get his number on speed dial.  What I need him for is much more vital than what I need an ambulance for.  Oh, like I said, I think I will live for another couple of decades, too lazy to die quickly or outright I suppose.  Perhaps too stubborn.  Or maybe God just said, NO, for His own reasons.  Still, you never know.  Hmm, maybe the joe juice is what is adding to me not sleeping.  It won't work very often, but if I need a irregular speed boost, there I go.  Soda is much lower in caffeine, especially the way I brew coffee.

My hands really do feel just like two balloons.  Yeah, it... hurts.  My body is numbing things, as well as it can.  But just... ouch.

Later.  Or better, hopefully, in my own odd way, good night.