.
.
Gloomy, or so it seems. Dark, but a rather bright form of it somehow. I just pulled the curtains a bit. A lot brighter than it seemed, and yet truly overcast. A bit cool, too, compared to yesterday. Neither of those is the real thing. I realized this morning, as I was taking medicine, that I am increasing the load. Just a bit, and stretched out over a month. A bit more, adding every fourth morning this two-week pillbox, every three days next. Going slow is, when starting up, the best way. Well... best? Least painful. I think it is knocking the wind out of me. The weather and temps just tag along for the ride, but add to the effort. I have decided what I will do, and will do so. I suppose there is simply a price.
All good though. Really, I had hoped to get to something today, out and about. But it won't happen. Next Saturday. I was pretty sure I couldn't quite get everything arranged and I was right. I did, however, give it a go. Some of it, even most of it, was done. Just one little, but vital, piece was missing in the equation. I am pretty sure I can keep the rest of it together well enough for next week, and finish the last aspect to my satisfaction.
I have a few other things I plan to be doing this week as well. I am hoping the weather clears up enough so that my friend might be inclined to go shooting. I need to order medications, call about my automobile... check on a refund check and get the title transferred. As well, I need to get the tires rotated and oil changed, plus a general checkup. And, of course, I need to prep for a trip. It shouldn't be a great difficulty, not as a third time. I did order a larger cooler. I may test that just a bit. I also need to purchase a few things, and get my kilt ready.
I need to start pushing, so I am not quite so stuffy next time I go camping for a bit. There are a few tricks I can use, though. And they may be used, or not. Push, pull, work at it. I ought to get my pack geared up, just for hiking, and get out a time or dozen. Perhaps hike the river I plan to fish, looking things over, talking to any who might be willing, and getting those legs and lungs going. With the fishing hat in, I should have enough shade. Yes... yes... I think I will. Every other day, rain or shine, I'll be getting out until a few days before the trip. Desert Cat is probably thinking I'm all talk. Which... I can be. But there can be fire where there is smoke, even to me. I just have to push up front a bit, then see a need... or want. *wink* Dames are dangerous game, don't you know.
Later.
Saturday, April 11, 2015
A behaving life.
.
.
With many things which had been biting into my mind solved yesterday, sleep was really good. I was to bed before 20:00. Sometime in that hour before. Beyond that, the accuracy of my recall is too weak to rely upon. I didn't remember to set the alarm. It wasn't so much that I didn't see the need, as that I hadn't been able to tally a nine hour sleep window (remember, the alarm is a failsafe, not my preferred method of waking) before falling to sleep. Now, I probably slept through what would have been that sleep time, and cushion past that, if only by a few literal minutes if I had to guess, and by the law of averages. I'll take that. Pretty much, the last few days, sleep and wakefulness have been exactly what I would hope of them, without having to do much about it. As things really heat up that will change.
Neither dream or worry bothered my sleep last night. I tended so many things yesterday to boot, that I suspect even my waking hours will be a bit more fit. It isn't that those things were day terrors, but they were concerns, and concerns tend to rupture the eardrums of the psyche the way a herd of children might cause real ear drums to bleed. The more, time or children... or in my case bothers, the quicker the pace to a rupture. That's why nap time, learning time, and some other things. Well, for children. No way to escape duties and responsibilities, other than tending them, not legitimate ways. Good to have taken care of so many things. No, I didn't list them all.
One of the other things was to call the utility, to ask about the refund. Nope, the review committee was "reviewing", I was told. Bunk. They are waiting for the automatic payment form I sent. But they weren't going to tell me that, they would just keep reviewing until they got it. Oh, I knew. So I... fished for a bit. I think, in the end, they knew that I knew. And, as stated, I knew they knew, and finally that I knew. Not much deeper, but... we all knew everything, even what wasn't stated. :p Being as it was, I didn't tell them I had sent the form. Stubbornness can offer a short joy, but may have slowed the process of getting the check sent. Though it may not have mattered if I had told. Something about "in the hands" is the response after... dealing with me on some things, by some people, eventually. Yeah... I push things. Not always on purpose, but... SOME people! There is a multiplicity of meanings with "SOME people", one of them being that only because not all people "get to" work with me. :) Yes, my mother was (is) a troubled woman for it.
Although, if you ever wish to be in charge, do and say very little. If you wish to break a woman's, or even man's, will... only be a mirror, or coordinating opposite. Don't let them, make them make all decisions, do all actions, make everything happen. Most people think they want that until they can't escape it. Don't be an anchor, but don't be a propeller, be what they wish, but force them to make you exactly what they wish to within your capacity. Drives them to distraction. First they begin to despise you. But when they see you are being, in flesh and spirit, just what they wish... they begin to see the problem. I have experimented extensively in life, consciously, since childhood. I didn't know what it meant, at the time, but by the time of my grandfather's funeral, in 1976 I believe, I had already learned to use Zen methods to keep secrets. I built a tank in my mind, and became it. All that could be brought from my lips was the construction methods and what the tank was doing. Nothing could break that. I taught my mother, through it, what I would and would not divulge. That first time, she thought I had gone into a fever. But with no temp, or other signs of illness... it baffled her greatly. Eventually, she learned that there are some things I would not tell her. She learned, as I did, what pleading the 5th, correctly or otherwise, was indeed a God given right. *blink blink*
Just... enjoying opening up a bit, after a time of being psychically cloistered because of an ongoing concern. Well... and morning song-monster (bird) chatter. Later.
.
With many things which had been biting into my mind solved yesterday, sleep was really good. I was to bed before 20:00. Sometime in that hour before. Beyond that, the accuracy of my recall is too weak to rely upon. I didn't remember to set the alarm. It wasn't so much that I didn't see the need, as that I hadn't been able to tally a nine hour sleep window (remember, the alarm is a failsafe, not my preferred method of waking) before falling to sleep. Now, I probably slept through what would have been that sleep time, and cushion past that, if only by a few literal minutes if I had to guess, and by the law of averages. I'll take that. Pretty much, the last few days, sleep and wakefulness have been exactly what I would hope of them, without having to do much about it. As things really heat up that will change.
Neither dream or worry bothered my sleep last night. I tended so many things yesterday to boot, that I suspect even my waking hours will be a bit more fit. It isn't that those things were day terrors, but they were concerns, and concerns tend to rupture the eardrums of the psyche the way a herd of children might cause real ear drums to bleed. The more, time or children... or in my case bothers, the quicker the pace to a rupture. That's why nap time, learning time, and some other things. Well, for children. No way to escape duties and responsibilities, other than tending them, not legitimate ways. Good to have taken care of so many things. No, I didn't list them all.
One of the other things was to call the utility, to ask about the refund. Nope, the review committee was "reviewing", I was told. Bunk. They are waiting for the automatic payment form I sent. But they weren't going to tell me that, they would just keep reviewing until they got it. Oh, I knew. So I... fished for a bit. I think, in the end, they knew that I knew. And, as stated, I knew they knew, and finally that I knew. Not much deeper, but... we all knew everything, even what wasn't stated. :p Being as it was, I didn't tell them I had sent the form. Stubbornness can offer a short joy, but may have slowed the process of getting the check sent. Though it may not have mattered if I had told. Something about "in the hands" is the response after... dealing with me on some things, by some people, eventually. Yeah... I push things. Not always on purpose, but... SOME people! There is a multiplicity of meanings with "SOME people", one of them being that only because not all people "get to" work with me. :) Yes, my mother was (is) a troubled woman for it.
Although, if you ever wish to be in charge, do and say very little. If you wish to break a woman's, or even man's, will... only be a mirror, or coordinating opposite. Don't let them, make them make all decisions, do all actions, make everything happen. Most people think they want that until they can't escape it. Don't be an anchor, but don't be a propeller, be what they wish, but force them to make you exactly what they wish to within your capacity. Drives them to distraction. First they begin to despise you. But when they see you are being, in flesh and spirit, just what they wish... they begin to see the problem. I have experimented extensively in life, consciously, since childhood. I didn't know what it meant, at the time, but by the time of my grandfather's funeral, in 1976 I believe, I had already learned to use Zen methods to keep secrets. I built a tank in my mind, and became it. All that could be brought from my lips was the construction methods and what the tank was doing. Nothing could break that. I taught my mother, through it, what I would and would not divulge. That first time, she thought I had gone into a fever. But with no temp, or other signs of illness... it baffled her greatly. Eventually, she learned that there are some things I would not tell her. She learned, as I did, what pleading the 5th, correctly or otherwise, was indeed a God given right. *blink blink*
Just... enjoying opening up a bit, after a time of being psychically cloistered because of an ongoing concern. Well... and morning song-monster (bird) chatter. Later.
Friday, April 10, 2015
Very surprised at the successes.
.
.
The idea was, actually, just to get the paperwork where it needed to go. Well, and lunch, since I had promised. I did have one other thing on my mind, which actually didn't get done, but it was just window shopping, price checking. And for a project, kitting out for fishing, which won't really be a part of the program until next month. The rest of what got done, while arranged to be done, hadn't been on the list, not the short list. It just so happened, that as I was going out, or while out, I got to it.
I sent in the form to make payments to my utility automatic. They didn't send a check, so I suspect they are not going to until that form is returned. Then I went to the DMV. There was only one man in front of me, so that went quickly. I will have to be tested, I am told. A written, then physical, testing. Followed by a driving test. The next opening is into next week, which works out well. I don't think there should be a problem, but who knows. I got a booklet and will read through it until then.
Money into and out of my checking, and a balance check. Since my friend wished to visit the hardware store, I found something that has been on my list for a very long time... 3-way bulbs. Without them, I don't have a lamp in the living room. So it is either the overhead blast of four bulbs (even if it is down to one working bulb, it is extremely bright). Now I can go to 30 watts and not have my eyes bleed. Four of those should last a while. Should. He got what he needed.
Before that stop, we hit his bank, then mine. Money, money, money! I am trying to go cash only. Let them guess what I am buying, nosy bastards! Then I bought coffee. Five pounds lasts me between four and six months. Breaking it up into smaller packets, then freezing it, and the coffee is just fine. The last pound or so isn't quite as fresh, of course. But you get used to that over the time. Then to lunch. I let my friend out at his place and returned.
It's a bit warm, must be mid 60's. Mostly sunny, which really adds to the heat. Still, a pleasant enough day. I was discussing Alaska with my friend. He doesn't like such discussion. Theory, yes. But the real deal, not so much. Still, a man has got to do what a man must do. Not really my plan, anyway. If that is where God leads, that is where I will go. Enough fiddly-farting with civilization. There is nothing in it for me. Still only 70%, but that's not a bad bet. My guess, from what I am seeing, it's all but a shoe-in. Yeah, he doesn't like talking about it. It's still two to three years down the road, so... No real worries yet.
.
The idea was, actually, just to get the paperwork where it needed to go. Well, and lunch, since I had promised. I did have one other thing on my mind, which actually didn't get done, but it was just window shopping, price checking. And for a project, kitting out for fishing, which won't really be a part of the program until next month. The rest of what got done, while arranged to be done, hadn't been on the list, not the short list. It just so happened, that as I was going out, or while out, I got to it.
I sent in the form to make payments to my utility automatic. They didn't send a check, so I suspect they are not going to until that form is returned. Then I went to the DMV. There was only one man in front of me, so that went quickly. I will have to be tested, I am told. A written, then physical, testing. Followed by a driving test. The next opening is into next week, which works out well. I don't think there should be a problem, but who knows. I got a booklet and will read through it until then.
Money into and out of my checking, and a balance check. Since my friend wished to visit the hardware store, I found something that has been on my list for a very long time... 3-way bulbs. Without them, I don't have a lamp in the living room. So it is either the overhead blast of four bulbs (even if it is down to one working bulb, it is extremely bright). Now I can go to 30 watts and not have my eyes bleed. Four of those should last a while. Should. He got what he needed.
Before that stop, we hit his bank, then mine. Money, money, money! I am trying to go cash only. Let them guess what I am buying, nosy bastards! Then I bought coffee. Five pounds lasts me between four and six months. Breaking it up into smaller packets, then freezing it, and the coffee is just fine. The last pound or so isn't quite as fresh, of course. But you get used to that over the time. Then to lunch. I let my friend out at his place and returned.
It's a bit warm, must be mid 60's. Mostly sunny, which really adds to the heat. Still, a pleasant enough day. I was discussing Alaska with my friend. He doesn't like such discussion. Theory, yes. But the real deal, not so much. Still, a man has got to do what a man must do. Not really my plan, anyway. If that is where God leads, that is where I will go. Enough fiddly-farting with civilization. There is nothing in it for me. Still only 70%, but that's not a bad bet. My guess, from what I am seeing, it's all but a shoe-in. Yeah, he doesn't like talking about it. It's still two to three years down the road, so... No real worries yet.
A good sleep, a fine wake.
.
.
Love it when it works well. The sun isn't up, or yet? All good. I can hear the birds chattering, so it probably isn't too cold. I offered Sam a chance to go out, but she isn't ready. It looks like it frosted. If so, it has already warmed quite a bit. The frost must be holding on for dear life. Or it is some sort of trick of the moon, stars, and waking sun, though I don't think so.
Life isn't perfect, optimal, at the moment. Shifting through gears due to spring, medicine and over the counter stuff, and perhaps grinding gears regarding some upcoming choices and actions. Toss in that I have some real activities planned that are drawing down on resources. All good though. Spring is the time for stirring, rising, and getting ready. And that is exactly what I am doing. No complaints. I wish to be at it more quickly and solidly, but who doesn't want that?
From recent events, I think some do doubt some things. Now, even I doubt some things. It is a matter of which thing to doubt. My resolve is easily dubious, and yet, within givens, I often do the impossible. Whether I am even a warrior, at times, can be doubted... at least by others. The nature of that, though, I have some doubts regarding. Too nice, it is thought. Too gentle one might presume. The thing to understand is that I break things, of body or mind or spirit, when I am called to do as I was made. So, if I am kind and gentle to you, there is a reason. You aren't, and probably aren't capable of, being my enemy.
Why is it, do you suppose, that a whale, other sharks, seals, and tuna fear great white sharks, but shrimp do not? Why is it that lions, tigers, even men, fear elephants, but mice do not? Elephants actually do fear mice. Think on these things. If I give you great space to be as you wish, do you think it is because I am incapable, or far too capable? If you are not in my way, or part of my system so that I have authority over you, it is best to leave you to your nature... up to a point. If you do not fear me, push the line. Probably of mere word I will, initially, gently guide you back to your place. Sleeping dragons tend to wish to stay at rest. I am sleeping, given the real options.
Part of the reason Jews rejected Christ when He walked here, was because they thought that beyond being a sacrifice, He was also a destroyer. And, He is. Only that was not the time for destruction. Not only would He not give them a verbal clue, He neither showed them that power. It was not the time. He felt no desire for proof. Faith, He offered, no more, on that regard. So it is with many things. Walk to a park in which an old tank or warplane is parked. At first glance, the device can seem fearsome. Over time, the metal structure may come to seem passive, perhaps even pleasant. And yet, should that mechanism ever be brought back to life, and sent to do what it does, even if it fights on your side, you will learn terror from simple proximity. While I am neither Christ, a tank, or a warplane, I too am quite terrible. I am simply parked. When my time comes, should you not have chosen the right path, I will teach you terror, horror, fear. That just isn't my job today, perhaps even in this life. If it is not me which I see, that which is, what I speak for, is quite real. As I have mentioned, angels yet carry terrible weapons on high. As above, below. I do not know the number of those who will flood the streets with blood at the mere word of Jesus, but I do know that which I speak of will be the ruin of a third of man... acting through them, on them. How many of my kin and other damned will also perish I cannot guess. Many. Even then, I/he will not be seen as the actor. Only to those who have the ears to hear and the eyes to see will know.
Go on, now, mouse. I care not for your plans, or fears, or hopes, or doubts. My fear of you is not as it might seem. God has made it abundantly clear that you are His, and His alone, to deal with. I only manage my own, and some who will choose lies to truth. And, now, for Him, not for my own will and ways. You will have no need to fear unless you deny God and make it beyond the gathering. Then, and then only, will all bets be off. Still, I will more likely simply use you in the designs of the war you created than face you in battle. Not even my uncles can win that, in any case. Scoot. Hop along. Laugh if you wish, chide if you must, but abide God and fear not or learn, in absolute fear, some of the truths you deny. You will become my weapon, and I am destructive to even these. If you fear yourself because of your might, you will have learned to fear me.
Hmm... oh, right. I should check on some things. My only real goal is to find a piece of paperwork. However, if one last thing has arrived in the mail, I may retrieve it. To town? Well... probably. Especially if I can find the paperwork. I did promise. Gah! Later.
-------
Gotcha! I was starting to actually worry. With all the paperwork I went through, even though I went through it at least twice to check, I could have tossed it, somehow. It happens. It actually ended up being exactly where I thought it was. I am almost sure I checked there, before. Perhaps I found it in the fog, put it where it was remember to be, then forgot having done so? Or, perhaps, in my searches, I never went to the first place on my mind, then never got there though the various searches? Who knows why. So long as I now know where, I don't care. Which means a trip to town, for sure. Perhaps a shower and bath, or at least a bath, first. I have time, and no great rush. Problem is, I am sluggish today. The sun is out, though it seems a bit cool. All good though. I'll make it. I've been searching for over an hour, perhaps pushing too. Cleaned some areas, at least a bit, in the doing. Now I need a bit of sit time.
.
Love it when it works well. The sun isn't up, or yet? All good. I can hear the birds chattering, so it probably isn't too cold. I offered Sam a chance to go out, but she isn't ready. It looks like it frosted. If so, it has already warmed quite a bit. The frost must be holding on for dear life. Or it is some sort of trick of the moon, stars, and waking sun, though I don't think so.
Life isn't perfect, optimal, at the moment. Shifting through gears due to spring, medicine and over the counter stuff, and perhaps grinding gears regarding some upcoming choices and actions. Toss in that I have some real activities planned that are drawing down on resources. All good though. Spring is the time for stirring, rising, and getting ready. And that is exactly what I am doing. No complaints. I wish to be at it more quickly and solidly, but who doesn't want that?
From recent events, I think some do doubt some things. Now, even I doubt some things. It is a matter of which thing to doubt. My resolve is easily dubious, and yet, within givens, I often do the impossible. Whether I am even a warrior, at times, can be doubted... at least by others. The nature of that, though, I have some doubts regarding. Too nice, it is thought. Too gentle one might presume. The thing to understand is that I break things, of body or mind or spirit, when I am called to do as I was made. So, if I am kind and gentle to you, there is a reason. You aren't, and probably aren't capable of, being my enemy.
Why is it, do you suppose, that a whale, other sharks, seals, and tuna fear great white sharks, but shrimp do not? Why is it that lions, tigers, even men, fear elephants, but mice do not? Elephants actually do fear mice. Think on these things. If I give you great space to be as you wish, do you think it is because I am incapable, or far too capable? If you are not in my way, or part of my system so that I have authority over you, it is best to leave you to your nature... up to a point. If you do not fear me, push the line. Probably of mere word I will, initially, gently guide you back to your place. Sleeping dragons tend to wish to stay at rest. I am sleeping, given the real options.
Part of the reason Jews rejected Christ when He walked here, was because they thought that beyond being a sacrifice, He was also a destroyer. And, He is. Only that was not the time for destruction. Not only would He not give them a verbal clue, He neither showed them that power. It was not the time. He felt no desire for proof. Faith, He offered, no more, on that regard. So it is with many things. Walk to a park in which an old tank or warplane is parked. At first glance, the device can seem fearsome. Over time, the metal structure may come to seem passive, perhaps even pleasant. And yet, should that mechanism ever be brought back to life, and sent to do what it does, even if it fights on your side, you will learn terror from simple proximity. While I am neither Christ, a tank, or a warplane, I too am quite terrible. I am simply parked. When my time comes, should you not have chosen the right path, I will teach you terror, horror, fear. That just isn't my job today, perhaps even in this life. If it is not me which I see, that which is, what I speak for, is quite real. As I have mentioned, angels yet carry terrible weapons on high. As above, below. I do not know the number of those who will flood the streets with blood at the mere word of Jesus, but I do know that which I speak of will be the ruin of a third of man... acting through them, on them. How many of my kin and other damned will also perish I cannot guess. Many. Even then, I/he will not be seen as the actor. Only to those who have the ears to hear and the eyes to see will know.
Go on, now, mouse. I care not for your plans, or fears, or hopes, or doubts. My fear of you is not as it might seem. God has made it abundantly clear that you are His, and His alone, to deal with. I only manage my own, and some who will choose lies to truth. And, now, for Him, not for my own will and ways. You will have no need to fear unless you deny God and make it beyond the gathering. Then, and then only, will all bets be off. Still, I will more likely simply use you in the designs of the war you created than face you in battle. Not even my uncles can win that, in any case. Scoot. Hop along. Laugh if you wish, chide if you must, but abide God and fear not or learn, in absolute fear, some of the truths you deny. You will become my weapon, and I am destructive to even these. If you fear yourself because of your might, you will have learned to fear me.
Hmm... oh, right. I should check on some things. My only real goal is to find a piece of paperwork. However, if one last thing has arrived in the mail, I may retrieve it. To town? Well... probably. Especially if I can find the paperwork. I did promise. Gah! Later.
-------
Gotcha! I was starting to actually worry. With all the paperwork I went through, even though I went through it at least twice to check, I could have tossed it, somehow. It happens. It actually ended up being exactly where I thought it was. I am almost sure I checked there, before. Perhaps I found it in the fog, put it where it was remember to be, then forgot having done so? Or, perhaps, in my searches, I never went to the first place on my mind, then never got there though the various searches? Who knows why. So long as I now know where, I don't care. Which means a trip to town, for sure. Perhaps a shower and bath, or at least a bath, first. I have time, and no great rush. Problem is, I am sluggish today. The sun is out, though it seems a bit cool. All good though. I'll make it. I've been searching for over an hour, perhaps pushing too. Cleaned some areas, at least a bit, in the doing. Now I need a bit of sit time.
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Hmm... interesting.
.
.
If things don't turn north... uhrm... go south... with one plan, there may be a way to turn it all north. While looking at options for getting to Alaska, something popped. One way to check aptitude without losing a brick of gold? Being a caretaker for a lodge. They don't seem to require much, seeking, for the most part, someone who isn't an alcoholic. Oh, sure, I have a tiddle from time to time. Rarely, though, especially lately. The last few years have been relatively dry. And, then, usually, just a few beers per... mostly. Just an interesting way of figuring some things out, and working my way through. Rather than take cash, merely trade for rent through the summer and provisions, so as to be ready to do it another year. That would take care of some costs, the year requirement for becoming an Alaskanite. Plus, there would be other opportunities, including typical hunting, perhaps fishing.
I don't know quite yet. I suspect taking a woman to Alaska would be too harsh. Women just can't deal with some things. Oh, some do. Just not a thing to count on. A bit more time before I can know, if I suspect. I am suspicious. The meter reads 'dubious'. Still, one never knows, front to back, end over end, life just happens to fools, then it ends... usually. :p Later.
.
If things don't turn north... uhrm... go south... with one plan, there may be a way to turn it all north. While looking at options for getting to Alaska, something popped. One way to check aptitude without losing a brick of gold? Being a caretaker for a lodge. They don't seem to require much, seeking, for the most part, someone who isn't an alcoholic. Oh, sure, I have a tiddle from time to time. Rarely, though, especially lately. The last few years have been relatively dry. And, then, usually, just a few beers per... mostly. Just an interesting way of figuring some things out, and working my way through. Rather than take cash, merely trade for rent through the summer and provisions, so as to be ready to do it another year. That would take care of some costs, the year requirement for becoming an Alaskanite. Plus, there would be other opportunities, including typical hunting, perhaps fishing.
I don't know quite yet. I suspect taking a woman to Alaska would be too harsh. Women just can't deal with some things. Oh, some do. Just not a thing to count on. A bit more time before I can know, if I suspect. I am suspicious. The meter reads 'dubious'. Still, one never knows, front to back, end over end, life just happens to fools, then it ends... usually. :p Later.
Pushing for little.
.
.
Even though I woke plenty early, getting going, then out, was a hassle. The post office closes at noon. No complaints. I understand. For now, it is just good to have a post office. Who knows when that might go away. While having mail delivered might be fine, the problem is packages. Having to drive into town, and probably deal with rather unsympathetic sorts who wouldn't... hold things so well... would be a problem. I really had to push to get a shower/bath in. Lemon-lime bath salts today. I had pushed so long that I couldn't afford much air drying time.
My fishing hat and vest were in, and some stronger magnets. The first batch were very thin, very week. The two that came in today are quite strong. At 1/4 in thick, x 2x1, I think they will work very well. The 1/16th magnets are far too weak, about what I have in the wristbands as is. Though, perhaps, using several of them together might work too. Just checked... yep, that will work. It must be a mass thing, as I suspected with magnets. Process will have an affect, the type of magnet, but mass too. On another score, dealing with what else I picked up and the post, it's very odd, that with a 52" chest, an extra large fishing vest fits almost a hair loose. It honestly doesn't make sense that someone my size wears only an extra large. The tall helps, though isn't always necessary, as in this case. Every once in a while, though, I buy something in which an extra large isn't too small... but that is exceedingly rare. Actually, it's more like 53-54 inches, just checked. Yeah, I have some neat toys. Something is wrong with me or manufacturers.
After the stop there, I called my friend, to see if he wanted to go to lunch. He isn't feeling well today. A rare thing, but it happens. I went ahead, just to the nearest town with eateries, and grabbed a lunch. Boy was I surprised. There was a fellow about 1/2" shorter than me, though that is still pretty tall. Then a big guy came in. I would guess three to five inches taller than me. Should have seen the petite young thing behind the counter. She couldn't have been five foot with heels. I saw her give me a funny look. Then the guy about my size came in and she sort of went into a form of shock. Then the tall guy came in and... her eyes became saucers. She darted off. I think she felt the need to hide, so as to get her mind to wrap around being in bear country. Oh, I just chuckled. Might have grinned and lifted my eyebrow. I think she saw that, but her mind was in full retreat. I must admit to having been a bit surprised myself. Still, more humor, for me, than anything.
I'll look around for the paperwork yet today. I just can't figure out where it could have gone. I have been looking, in short little spurts, from time to time. Must have just been set somewhere a little off, or dropped behind something... or... I don't know. I will skip flies tomorrow, but lunch and maybe some window shopping. I believe I will be buying a serious cooler, so I might price them in the stores. The one I want is less than a Yeti, even Grizzly, but not exactly cheap. I am dither on size, too. Whether a 45 or 65 quart is the best size. I think, if I want to use it, for myself, for even seven days, the 65 quart is probably best... so long as I don't have to pack it in too far. In Alaska, a mule might do? Then again, mules probably can't survive up there, thus dog-sleds?
Yes, I keep looking. Alaska would be quite hard. No doubt. I can handle isolation, so that is one thing. Yes, long term. I've already done that. The long nights most of the year, and long days more a problem actually, of course would be new and possibly vexing. The cold? Of course. It would slow things down. Though, if heated well in a cabin for a bit, not so much a problem. The thing is finding a place to set up a cabin, then of course setting it up all while staying in food. The trick of doing the trick is half the trick. If you get that far, then... you get to the trick. Never easy. Possibly, some would say probably, fatal. The thing is, you would live until you didn't. I've bet my life on things that aren't possible to survive. Younger, then, but not even as healthy as I am now. And I've got to tell you, I would rather freeze to death anywhere than to be kept alive for the benefit of bureaucrats and unions, abused in who knows what ways (especially if they found this blog).
As to medicine, they will either keep sending it, or not. I do remind you, I lived without proper medication for my condition for 23 years. While older, I think the medicine has improved my condition a good 25% over what it has been, maybe more. And, to a degree, medicinal bureaucracy is one of those things I would be hoping to leave behind. There is medicine and there is control. They seem to be pushing that. I am simply not interested in playing.
Figuring out where to go up there is something else. And there are places, technically, in the lower 48, where you could, technically, still do that. I just think that it would be far to easy for them to screw with you down here, for anything. Possibly just for being on some of "their land". An inch into the wrong area could see someone in federal prison. Up there? If you know how to live they couldn't afford the gasoline for the helicopter to find you. Oh, I have some time to think things over. And I might have enough time to explore a few areas, learn a few things, before deciding. I have a lot of stuff to get rid of, as well, first. Even if the other option remains, some things should go now.
If I do go, I will want to get my hands on a .375 h&h. A .338 Win magnum would be fine, both are common enough, even a 45-70 would, mostly, do. Still, the h&h is what I have my mind on, should I go. CZ makes a decent one, though I have it on reasonable authority that taking the rifle to a good smith, to smooth the wrinkles in the mechanisms, would be a must. Same with all such guns, if they aren't to be simply wall mounting or safe fodder. I just don't like the idea of debating with a brown bear on slimmer terms. Being a loader, I can load that round down for deer. With five shots, I can keep three loaded for... well... bear.
Yeah, later. A bit of a break, or just a few shows, while I rest up to go digging for paperwork.
.
Even though I woke plenty early, getting going, then out, was a hassle. The post office closes at noon. No complaints. I understand. For now, it is just good to have a post office. Who knows when that might go away. While having mail delivered might be fine, the problem is packages. Having to drive into town, and probably deal with rather unsympathetic sorts who wouldn't... hold things so well... would be a problem. I really had to push to get a shower/bath in. Lemon-lime bath salts today. I had pushed so long that I couldn't afford much air drying time.
My fishing hat and vest were in, and some stronger magnets. The first batch were very thin, very week. The two that came in today are quite strong. At 1/4 in thick, x 2x1, I think they will work very well. The 1/16th magnets are far too weak, about what I have in the wristbands as is. Though, perhaps, using several of them together might work too. Just checked... yep, that will work. It must be a mass thing, as I suspected with magnets. Process will have an affect, the type of magnet, but mass too. On another score, dealing with what else I picked up and the post, it's very odd, that with a 52" chest, an extra large fishing vest fits almost a hair loose. It honestly doesn't make sense that someone my size wears only an extra large. The tall helps, though isn't always necessary, as in this case. Every once in a while, though, I buy something in which an extra large isn't too small... but that is exceedingly rare. Actually, it's more like 53-54 inches, just checked. Yeah, I have some neat toys. Something is wrong with me or manufacturers.
After the stop there, I called my friend, to see if he wanted to go to lunch. He isn't feeling well today. A rare thing, but it happens. I went ahead, just to the nearest town with eateries, and grabbed a lunch. Boy was I surprised. There was a fellow about 1/2" shorter than me, though that is still pretty tall. Then a big guy came in. I would guess three to five inches taller than me. Should have seen the petite young thing behind the counter. She couldn't have been five foot with heels. I saw her give me a funny look. Then the guy about my size came in and she sort of went into a form of shock. Then the tall guy came in and... her eyes became saucers. She darted off. I think she felt the need to hide, so as to get her mind to wrap around being in bear country. Oh, I just chuckled. Might have grinned and lifted my eyebrow. I think she saw that, but her mind was in full retreat. I must admit to having been a bit surprised myself. Still, more humor, for me, than anything.
I'll look around for the paperwork yet today. I just can't figure out where it could have gone. I have been looking, in short little spurts, from time to time. Must have just been set somewhere a little off, or dropped behind something... or... I don't know. I will skip flies tomorrow, but lunch and maybe some window shopping. I believe I will be buying a serious cooler, so I might price them in the stores. The one I want is less than a Yeti, even Grizzly, but not exactly cheap. I am dither on size, too. Whether a 45 or 65 quart is the best size. I think, if I want to use it, for myself, for even seven days, the 65 quart is probably best... so long as I don't have to pack it in too far. In Alaska, a mule might do? Then again, mules probably can't survive up there, thus dog-sleds?
Yes, I keep looking. Alaska would be quite hard. No doubt. I can handle isolation, so that is one thing. Yes, long term. I've already done that. The long nights most of the year, and long days more a problem actually, of course would be new and possibly vexing. The cold? Of course. It would slow things down. Though, if heated well in a cabin for a bit, not so much a problem. The thing is finding a place to set up a cabin, then of course setting it up all while staying in food. The trick of doing the trick is half the trick. If you get that far, then... you get to the trick. Never easy. Possibly, some would say probably, fatal. The thing is, you would live until you didn't. I've bet my life on things that aren't possible to survive. Younger, then, but not even as healthy as I am now. And I've got to tell you, I would rather freeze to death anywhere than to be kept alive for the benefit of bureaucrats and unions, abused in who knows what ways (especially if they found this blog).
As to medicine, they will either keep sending it, or not. I do remind you, I lived without proper medication for my condition for 23 years. While older, I think the medicine has improved my condition a good 25% over what it has been, maybe more. And, to a degree, medicinal bureaucracy is one of those things I would be hoping to leave behind. There is medicine and there is control. They seem to be pushing that. I am simply not interested in playing.
Figuring out where to go up there is something else. And there are places, technically, in the lower 48, where you could, technically, still do that. I just think that it would be far to easy for them to screw with you down here, for anything. Possibly just for being on some of "their land". An inch into the wrong area could see someone in federal prison. Up there? If you know how to live they couldn't afford the gasoline for the helicopter to find you. Oh, I have some time to think things over. And I might have enough time to explore a few areas, learn a few things, before deciding. I have a lot of stuff to get rid of, as well, first. Even if the other option remains, some things should go now.
If I do go, I will want to get my hands on a .375 h&h. A .338 Win magnum would be fine, both are common enough, even a 45-70 would, mostly, do. Still, the h&h is what I have my mind on, should I go. CZ makes a decent one, though I have it on reasonable authority that taking the rifle to a good smith, to smooth the wrinkles in the mechanisms, would be a must. Same with all such guns, if they aren't to be simply wall mounting or safe fodder. I just don't like the idea of debating with a brown bear on slimmer terms. Being a loader, I can load that round down for deer. With five shots, I can keep three loaded for... well... bear.
Yeah, later. A bit of a break, or just a few shows, while I rest up to go digging for paperwork.
Good, odd but good.
.
.
Not much was done yesterday. A meal was cooked. That was it. I woke early, didn't nap, and went to bed at 19:00 and change. I set the alarm, just to add structure. As it turned out, that was a good thing. The girls woke me at about eight hours of sleep, but the world didn't make sense right then, so I slept until the alarm went off an hour later. Medicine is going well. I need to call for a reload. If I do that, I should be able to work on this stuff well. I am feeling better, but the cool of spring is well upon the land, making that a difficulty I can't quite break through. I am beginning to think it is just the cool, for now, that is keeping me less active. Well, and the lack of sun. Which means I need to push through. I really need to find a place to walk, a trail. To start, an easy trail, one that is close. Walking roads is too... public.
I will attempt to do some housework and another task today. Nothing fancy. A few tasks. The goal is to start by 9:00. A shower bath combo then, an hour to air dry, then to the post office. Then to a few tasks. Then, tomorrow, a visit to town. That is the plan. A simple plan. Very possible. Not perfectly likely. Still, on some things, I am yet a betting man. If it works, I'll buy a few fishing flies as a reward. Nymphs, mostly, to start. Though a very few dry flies, and the goop for that. Oh, and a couple of tibbets and leaders. Reward for work.
I best get to waking. Later.
.
Not much was done yesterday. A meal was cooked. That was it. I woke early, didn't nap, and went to bed at 19:00 and change. I set the alarm, just to add structure. As it turned out, that was a good thing. The girls woke me at about eight hours of sleep, but the world didn't make sense right then, so I slept until the alarm went off an hour later. Medicine is going well. I need to call for a reload. If I do that, I should be able to work on this stuff well. I am feeling better, but the cool of spring is well upon the land, making that a difficulty I can't quite break through. I am beginning to think it is just the cool, for now, that is keeping me less active. Well, and the lack of sun. Which means I need to push through. I really need to find a place to walk, a trail. To start, an easy trail, one that is close. Walking roads is too... public.
I will attempt to do some housework and another task today. Nothing fancy. A few tasks. The goal is to start by 9:00. A shower bath combo then, an hour to air dry, then to the post office. Then to a few tasks. Then, tomorrow, a visit to town. That is the plan. A simple plan. Very possible. Not perfectly likely. Still, on some things, I am yet a betting man. If it works, I'll buy a few fishing flies as a reward. Nymphs, mostly, to start. Though a very few dry flies, and the goop for that. Oh, and a couple of tibbets and leaders. Reward for work.
I best get to waking. Later.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Improvements.
.
.
Life is beginning to improve ever so gently. I haven't gotten out of the 'net' quite yet. I am merely beginning to work at getting off my back. The body is a bit rusty. The last two outings, however, busted a lot of the rust from the joints, allowing the body to begin functioning a bit. I wasn't sore until the next day from the first event. I am not sore at all from this last event. Some aspects of my body heal quickly. If I could maintain momentum, I think the doctors would be very surprised with what I can do. Then again, they already are, as is. I tell you, they don't understand.
Another shower and bath sometime this morning. And, with cream, coffee can be had. Some days I just have a "cup", some days two pots is consumed. A pot is the usual. While whipping cream, and milk, will last a while unopened, that is limited. I pushed that to a point beyond my ability to ignore flavor. Old cream gets a certain twang too it, then the flavor drops. I was stuck in nights, and down, so couldn't replace it until now. Need at least a cup of coffee a day. Fresh coffee is just about ready and fresh cream for it. Yum.
I got around to calling my mother. She is not only doing well, she surprised me. I won't give away the surprise, I'm never sure who reads here. Her surprise is for her to hand out. It has made me decide, next month of the month after, to send her something special. Good kids get treats. Even if all does not work, efforts of great resolve need encouragement. It looks like the plans are underway for travel later in the year. Perhaps more than had been anticipated. All good. Another... surprise. Perhaps I gave it earlier, but perhaps it was missed. Always good to hear one's mother in such good spirits, and pleased. Chicken soup for the soul, that. I offered advice on something, don't know if she will take it. And it might not be right for her, only what has helped me.
While I won't start taking stats for another week, to see how things are shaping up with the extra herbals, going back on regular vitamins and minerals, and with medicines being maintained, I did want to check my weight. When I dressed for the first of recent events, my pants seemed a little too big. Too big, eh? Yeah. And those slacks have always been a bit tight. I even had them fitted, but that is what the tailor suggested. Anyway, I wanted to check my weight and this morning was the first time I had thought to do that, at the right moment. I have lost 10 pounds since the last weight check. The last weight check was a bit elevated from my norm, now it is a bit below the norm. I feel it has been a bit below the norm for a while now, though. Just a sense, from other instances. Weight isn't quite as much of a concern as is fitting certain clothes. Another 15 pounds off and I would be reasonably pleased. Start from the start, though, I suppose.
Oh, a "cup" of coffee, then a shower and bath, then on to looking for that dratted paperwork! Gah! Later.
.
Life is beginning to improve ever so gently. I haven't gotten out of the 'net' quite yet. I am merely beginning to work at getting off my back. The body is a bit rusty. The last two outings, however, busted a lot of the rust from the joints, allowing the body to begin functioning a bit. I wasn't sore until the next day from the first event. I am not sore at all from this last event. Some aspects of my body heal quickly. If I could maintain momentum, I think the doctors would be very surprised with what I can do. Then again, they already are, as is. I tell you, they don't understand.
Another shower and bath sometime this morning. And, with cream, coffee can be had. Some days I just have a "cup", some days two pots is consumed. A pot is the usual. While whipping cream, and milk, will last a while unopened, that is limited. I pushed that to a point beyond my ability to ignore flavor. Old cream gets a certain twang too it, then the flavor drops. I was stuck in nights, and down, so couldn't replace it until now. Need at least a cup of coffee a day. Fresh coffee is just about ready and fresh cream for it. Yum.
I got around to calling my mother. She is not only doing well, she surprised me. I won't give away the surprise, I'm never sure who reads here. Her surprise is for her to hand out. It has made me decide, next month of the month after, to send her something special. Good kids get treats. Even if all does not work, efforts of great resolve need encouragement. It looks like the plans are underway for travel later in the year. Perhaps more than had been anticipated. All good. Another... surprise. Perhaps I gave it earlier, but perhaps it was missed. Always good to hear one's mother in such good spirits, and pleased. Chicken soup for the soul, that. I offered advice on something, don't know if she will take it. And it might not be right for her, only what has helped me.
While I won't start taking stats for another week, to see how things are shaping up with the extra herbals, going back on regular vitamins and minerals, and with medicines being maintained, I did want to check my weight. When I dressed for the first of recent events, my pants seemed a little too big. Too big, eh? Yeah. And those slacks have always been a bit tight. I even had them fitted, but that is what the tailor suggested. Anyway, I wanted to check my weight and this morning was the first time I had thought to do that, at the right moment. I have lost 10 pounds since the last weight check. The last weight check was a bit elevated from my norm, now it is a bit below the norm. I feel it has been a bit below the norm for a while now, though. Just a sense, from other instances. Weight isn't quite as much of a concern as is fitting certain clothes. Another 15 pounds off and I would be reasonably pleased. Start from the start, though, I suppose.
Oh, a "cup" of coffee, then a shower and bath, then on to looking for that dratted paperwork! Gah! Later.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
A bit of fresh air and company.
.
.
I did get to town, and a bit earlier than supposed. Lunch, right away. Both of us were hungry. Then what had been meant to be a simple couple of stops but turned into four. All good. Coolers were reviewed, and comparisons will be checked. As well, a bit of looking at waders and boots. My friend was looking at rifle cases. Neither of us made a single purchase at the sporting goods store. For us, that is bordering on sacrilege, of normal time and space. Purchases will go forward, it is merely... making the right choices is important.
Next, shopping for a carton of smokes for my friend ended up being two stops. Which was fine. I needed to walk out a bit of stiffness, breaking the rust the rest of the way after the other evening. Finally, to the grocery store. I told him I would return later in the week. Rain, he suggested. Then we won't shoot. Still, better to get out for an afternoon of goofing than just sitting, looking out a window, or staring at a screen. He is the optimist* between us, I think. If that isn't saying much. *grins* I just don't care, wind, rain, shine, it won't work but I'll do it anyway. Oh, right, sure, he might suggest. Just bring an umbrella and a raincoat. I love his optimism. I know, just know, I won't get lucky enough to need all that.
Uhrm, hmm... I don't know. I know I have some things to do, I just can't seem to get to them. Maybe more, tomorrow. Doubt it. :p It's supposed to, according to my friend*, turn cold tonight. Maybe another shower then bath tomorrow, to start things off right. Perhaps that would help. I'm starting to like these baths. Who knew!?! I wondered why they had a bath tub, now I know.
Dinner, then maybe right to bed. Perhaps not quite. Just not sure yet. Good night.
.
I did get to town, and a bit earlier than supposed. Lunch, right away. Both of us were hungry. Then what had been meant to be a simple couple of stops but turned into four. All good. Coolers were reviewed, and comparisons will be checked. As well, a bit of looking at waders and boots. My friend was looking at rifle cases. Neither of us made a single purchase at the sporting goods store. For us, that is bordering on sacrilege, of normal time and space. Purchases will go forward, it is merely... making the right choices is important.
Next, shopping for a carton of smokes for my friend ended up being two stops. Which was fine. I needed to walk out a bit of stiffness, breaking the rust the rest of the way after the other evening. Finally, to the grocery store. I told him I would return later in the week. Rain, he suggested. Then we won't shoot. Still, better to get out for an afternoon of goofing than just sitting, looking out a window, or staring at a screen. He is the optimist* between us, I think. If that isn't saying much. *grins* I just don't care, wind, rain, shine, it won't work but I'll do it anyway. Oh, right, sure, he might suggest. Just bring an umbrella and a raincoat. I love his optimism. I know, just know, I won't get lucky enough to need all that.
Uhrm, hmm... I don't know. I know I have some things to do, I just can't seem to get to them. Maybe more, tomorrow. Doubt it. :p It's supposed to, according to my friend*, turn cold tonight. Maybe another shower then bath tomorrow, to start things off right. Perhaps that would help. I'm starting to like these baths. Who knew!?! I wondered why they had a bath tub, now I know.
Dinner, then maybe right to bed. Perhaps not quite. Just not sure yet. Good night.
Cool day, and slow.
.
.
I was awake early enough that I thought I might get to something. Time kept dragging on while I found myself stuck in this or another chair. Finally, around 11:30, I decided to push. I knew just planning work wouldn't do. However, I do have some things in town needing effort. If I called my friend, to get him out, that would... oblige me to go. So that is precisely what I did. Too cold for shooting. I need groceries, and we could always stop at a sporting goods store, maybe a hardware store. Window shopping, for my part, this month. I have a trip or two coming up and a few things on the short list for that and other things. Still, it is something.
Oh, as to spooks... Just because I don't seem to favor them doesn't mean they don't have a calling. I don't necessarily agree with it, or more it doesn't fit my ways. But that isn't, necessarily, and indictment of those who employ such. I am quite sure that many men, both good and evil, employ such. And, really, there are good and evil among them, in either case. Much as there are good and evil among my own, who are employed by good and evil forces. It's just the way it is. Merely noting the... sparks... that no one else even noticed, save those of us involved. I am not sure why they sparked, whether they saw or not. I did, for my part.
It has turned to a cool, downcast, spring. My friend suggested that it snowed on him earlier this morning. Snow? Well, yeah... No complaints, really. This has been a very mild winter, more like a slightly darker, slightly colder, fall or spring than a real winter. I won't knock a little bit of snow, especially suspecting it didn't last long enough to be counted. Even if it did, as I remember things from Iowa anyway, snow around Easter is not exactly unheard of.
Yes, a shower and a bath have already been taken. Just... chilling a bit as I am about to get ready and go. Nothing fancy for lunch, and supper will be coming too, so I will be stuffed by the time the day is done. Might help me sleep. I will be looking for that paperwork, as the only other definite project the rest of the day. It might be in the Xterra. Not sure. Later.
.
I was awake early enough that I thought I might get to something. Time kept dragging on while I found myself stuck in this or another chair. Finally, around 11:30, I decided to push. I knew just planning work wouldn't do. However, I do have some things in town needing effort. If I called my friend, to get him out, that would... oblige me to go. So that is precisely what I did. Too cold for shooting. I need groceries, and we could always stop at a sporting goods store, maybe a hardware store. Window shopping, for my part, this month. I have a trip or two coming up and a few things on the short list for that and other things. Still, it is something.
Oh, as to spooks... Just because I don't seem to favor them doesn't mean they don't have a calling. I don't necessarily agree with it, or more it doesn't fit my ways. But that isn't, necessarily, and indictment of those who employ such. I am quite sure that many men, both good and evil, employ such. And, really, there are good and evil among them, in either case. Much as there are good and evil among my own, who are employed by good and evil forces. It's just the way it is. Merely noting the... sparks... that no one else even noticed, save those of us involved. I am not sure why they sparked, whether they saw or not. I did, for my part.
It has turned to a cool, downcast, spring. My friend suggested that it snowed on him earlier this morning. Snow? Well, yeah... No complaints, really. This has been a very mild winter, more like a slightly darker, slightly colder, fall or spring than a real winter. I won't knock a little bit of snow, especially suspecting it didn't last long enough to be counted. Even if it did, as I remember things from Iowa anyway, snow around Easter is not exactly unheard of.
Yes, a shower and a bath have already been taken. Just... chilling a bit as I am about to get ready and go. Nothing fancy for lunch, and supper will be coming too, so I will be stuffed by the time the day is done. Might help me sleep. I will be looking for that paperwork, as the only other definite project the rest of the day. It might be in the Xterra. Not sure. Later.
Days again?
.
.
We shall see, but it seems so. I can't remember when, exactly, I went to sleep. Later evening, somewhere between 21:00 and 23:00, if I had to guess. Even with afternoon naps I am needing sleep by then. I woke somewhere after 5:00 or 6:00. Just a bit rough, both waking and sleeping. Many dreams both during naps and at night, though nap dreaming has been remarkably of the chained variety. Something I only remember experiencing perhaps once to three times before. Waking, and going back into the same dream, over and over again, is what I call a chain dream. It is what it is, but three times in a row this week. Still, something interesting to consider, and experience.
Medicine has been taken pretty much regularly. I have added most of the new stuff. Just one of the heart related herbals is being taken, but the other is in the queue for the next pillbox, since everything seems to be going well. I haven't started taking vitals quite yet. I believe I will wait until the next set starts. I can't say that I am feeling a good deal better, I simply am not feeling worse. Wait... I take that back a bit. I am having fewer... spots of seeming trouble. Fewer moments where things get questionable. Perhaps the vitamins, and maybe the new stuff, are ironing over some of the rougher spots? Or I am just doing better. Difficult to ever really know.
I am a bit sore, and was yesterday. Not that the outing, or work yesterday, were great efforts. It is more that I have been sitting for weeks. Literally, sitting most of the day, only moving to eat, void, clean myself, and just that. The soreness is mild, and can pretty much be ignored, or worked through if I can keep at things. No need for tylenol or such.
Today? I am hoping to find some paperwork, perhaps give the dishes a once over, and maybe do another load of laundry. I don't know that I can get to town, but that is needed and wanted. Shooting? Not quite right away, but maybe by the last of the weekdays this week, if the weather warms a bit. If I get into town, I may look over waders and flies, perhaps dry fly goop. Pricing, mostly, at the moment. Though, after looking at Amazon, if I find something on sale or at a very good price, I might... bite. I will probably buy waders locally. Sizing... I have to know if they fit. And return policy, if it is better. It can be messy ordering sized items online, for me. Although I will buy those only right when I am ready to get in the water... to make sure I have a return policy for failure still in effect.
Well... First I must wake. Then a shower/bath and shave I suppose. With the kitchen having been given a once over, I may try to finish that off tomorrow. Then attempt to sharpen the straight razor again, only better. If I had to guess, I would say my technique seems to be fine, it is the pressure I am putting on the blade that is the problem. I need to lighten my touch as I finish the process. Which means, I probably don't have much work to do. Starting with the finest stone alone, using the lightest of touches I can figure, I should have the blades in top condition rather quickly. We will see.
Later.
.
We shall see, but it seems so. I can't remember when, exactly, I went to sleep. Later evening, somewhere between 21:00 and 23:00, if I had to guess. Even with afternoon naps I am needing sleep by then. I woke somewhere after 5:00 or 6:00. Just a bit rough, both waking and sleeping. Many dreams both during naps and at night, though nap dreaming has been remarkably of the chained variety. Something I only remember experiencing perhaps once to three times before. Waking, and going back into the same dream, over and over again, is what I call a chain dream. It is what it is, but three times in a row this week. Still, something interesting to consider, and experience.
Medicine has been taken pretty much regularly. I have added most of the new stuff. Just one of the heart related herbals is being taken, but the other is in the queue for the next pillbox, since everything seems to be going well. I haven't started taking vitals quite yet. I believe I will wait until the next set starts. I can't say that I am feeling a good deal better, I simply am not feeling worse. Wait... I take that back a bit. I am having fewer... spots of seeming trouble. Fewer moments where things get questionable. Perhaps the vitamins, and maybe the new stuff, are ironing over some of the rougher spots? Or I am just doing better. Difficult to ever really know.
I am a bit sore, and was yesterday. Not that the outing, or work yesterday, were great efforts. It is more that I have been sitting for weeks. Literally, sitting most of the day, only moving to eat, void, clean myself, and just that. The soreness is mild, and can pretty much be ignored, or worked through if I can keep at things. No need for tylenol or such.
Today? I am hoping to find some paperwork, perhaps give the dishes a once over, and maybe do another load of laundry. I don't know that I can get to town, but that is needed and wanted. Shooting? Not quite right away, but maybe by the last of the weekdays this week, if the weather warms a bit. If I get into town, I may look over waders and flies, perhaps dry fly goop. Pricing, mostly, at the moment. Though, after looking at Amazon, if I find something on sale or at a very good price, I might... bite. I will probably buy waders locally. Sizing... I have to know if they fit. And return policy, if it is better. It can be messy ordering sized items online, for me. Although I will buy those only right when I am ready to get in the water... to make sure I have a return policy for failure still in effect.
Well... First I must wake. Then a shower/bath and shave I suppose. With the kitchen having been given a once over, I may try to finish that off tomorrow. Then attempt to sharpen the straight razor again, only better. If I had to guess, I would say my technique seems to be fine, it is the pressure I am putting on the blade that is the problem. I need to lighten my touch as I finish the process. Which means, I probably don't have much work to do. Starting with the finest stone alone, using the lightest of touches I can figure, I should have the blades in top condition rather quickly. We will see.
Later.
Monday, April 6, 2015
More is good.
.
.
Nothing fancy, and yet satisfying. I thought just getting the trash out would be about it. Then maybe a shower/bath thing. As I headed out to do that, I really thought about just calling it and not even trying. You know that voice. But no, I thought I could, I remembered, and I believed there might still be time. Actually, I thought, there might be time for recycling, to include breaking down the boxes. Maybe? I knew I could knock the break down of boxes before the garbage truck arrived, and might yet beat the recycling truck. Doubtful, as is proper, but faithful... also proper.
I had quite a few boxes, but I kicked them out in fifteen minutes. Then I just had to figure out how to get it all in there. Actually, it wasn't too full. And I got it to the street before the truck arrived. Then I got busy on trash. I had a few smaller boxes here in the computer room. I didn't realize until it was too late. I thought what I had in here were acting as temporary parts drawers. Not so much. Still, when I realized, I started tearing into these. While at it, I did find some parts I had been seeking. While it isn't perfect in this room, it is better. And, some projects which had been languishing can go forward.
Not today, but perhaps some day this week, I would like to get out and shoot. I am certain my friend would like to go along. That being the way of things, and since I had promised, and having found the parts, I put my ak back together. There is one nagging little problem. It won't affect performance, and may not be an issue at all. Still, it is back together, locked, loaded, and ready. It's how I prefer such devices. Next I may add the magazine extenders to two more of my Springfield XD .45 mags. Takes them from 13 rounds to 16 rounds. More importantly, the pistol then fits my hand a bit better. I also need to clean the 9 mm. She locked up last time. I can't abuse her like I do the XD. The XD is sort of the ak of handguns. Or as close as I can get. The Beretta not so much. Still, she is pretty and fun. I'll give her and the XD a bit of tlc before long.
Oh, right, I got the cat litter changed. Sam is the happiest of girls when I do that. I also did just a bit of policing in the kitchen. I reset the dishes to a fresh soak as well, while I was at it. A shower and a bath, after I get going again. I will call my friend, let him know I am awake. Though I might head to do for grocery shopping and a bite to eat, taking him along and talking about it then. I also need to find some paperwork. Not sure where it got off too... Today or tomorrow. Gotta find it. I am pleased just with what has happened so far. A few more things and I might be terribly pleased. A couple of beers as bedtime nears, for all my... good deeds. Give the dog a bone, that's all. Later.
.
Nothing fancy, and yet satisfying. I thought just getting the trash out would be about it. Then maybe a shower/bath thing. As I headed out to do that, I really thought about just calling it and not even trying. You know that voice. But no, I thought I could, I remembered, and I believed there might still be time. Actually, I thought, there might be time for recycling, to include breaking down the boxes. Maybe? I knew I could knock the break down of boxes before the garbage truck arrived, and might yet beat the recycling truck. Doubtful, as is proper, but faithful... also proper.
I had quite a few boxes, but I kicked them out in fifteen minutes. Then I just had to figure out how to get it all in there. Actually, it wasn't too full. And I got it to the street before the truck arrived. Then I got busy on trash. I had a few smaller boxes here in the computer room. I didn't realize until it was too late. I thought what I had in here were acting as temporary parts drawers. Not so much. Still, when I realized, I started tearing into these. While at it, I did find some parts I had been seeking. While it isn't perfect in this room, it is better. And, some projects which had been languishing can go forward.
Not today, but perhaps some day this week, I would like to get out and shoot. I am certain my friend would like to go along. That being the way of things, and since I had promised, and having found the parts, I put my ak back together. There is one nagging little problem. It won't affect performance, and may not be an issue at all. Still, it is back together, locked, loaded, and ready. It's how I prefer such devices. Next I may add the magazine extenders to two more of my Springfield XD .45 mags. Takes them from 13 rounds to 16 rounds. More importantly, the pistol then fits my hand a bit better. I also need to clean the 9 mm. She locked up last time. I can't abuse her like I do the XD. The XD is sort of the ak of handguns. Or as close as I can get. The Beretta not so much. Still, she is pretty and fun. I'll give her and the XD a bit of tlc before long.
Oh, right, I got the cat litter changed. Sam is the happiest of girls when I do that. I also did just a bit of policing in the kitchen. I reset the dishes to a fresh soak as well, while I was at it. A shower and a bath, after I get going again. I will call my friend, let him know I am awake. Though I might head to do for grocery shopping and a bite to eat, taking him along and talking about it then. I also need to find some paperwork. Not sure where it got off too... Today or tomorrow. Gotta find it. I am pleased just with what has happened so far. A few more things and I might be terribly pleased. A couple of beers as bedtime nears, for all my... good deeds. Give the dog a bone, that's all. Later.
I need to do a few things.
.
.
The trash needs to be put out. A shower, then bath, needs to be taken. I need to find some paperwork, and get that going. I'm just not moving quickly. Bleh.
A while back, foam suggested I consider looking into lucid dreaming. I suggested that I already do that, pretty much as a grandmaster level. Still, the notion eventually caused my curiosity to initiate an investigation. I had thought that lucid dreaming meant dream control. It doesn't. It merely means being aware, consciously aware, during a dream. Dream control is another, different, dream possibility. Still, I am awake in all of my dreams. Once in a while I won't be, but will 'wake' to what is happening fairly quickly... like dozing in the theater to wake as the reel starts. As for control, there is little I can't change in a dream. As I told her, however, I usually don't change the dream... it often ruins the experience. If there is something very objectionable I simply end the dream. There are dreams that, while I am aware of what is happening, I cannot change them. Those dreams seem to be based on hard history, things I have done. The thing is, some of those things, I am told, did not happen. I have targeted those for decades, armed with assurances that they aren't real. As with other dreams of history that I do know happened, however, I cannot change these.
I, before studying today, thought all people did this, at least from time to time. I am quite surprised to find that few do. There are even groups out there trying to train people to be aware, just be aware, in dreams. It seems to be rather rare, especially for every dream (that I remember), to know it is a dream. I am guessing it may be as rare to have control in dreams. The two are not necessarily inclusive. Meaning, you don't have to be aware to exert control, and you might not exert control even if you are aware. Doing both, in any dream, is probably... rather rarer? The only thing I have done is attempted to dream about a specific idea. I hadn't, until recently, had chain dreams. I am actually told that is impossible, but from having just done it, for myself, I know it is not just possible but doable. I even know how to increase the likelihood of creating it, but that is uncomfortable. It takes sleep deprivation, and attempts at waking during the dream cycle. Since I can't know when I will be dreaming, and don't care much for sleep deprivation, it only happens by accident. I'll keep it that way, and as rare as possible. Plus, I can never remember those dreams very long after waking.
I honestly don't know very much about dreams. I doubt the symbolism often given to events or specific items. I don't believe that time, in dreams, is the same as it is in real life because I have lived nearly full lives in dreams, many times. Not possible that the time correlates. Still, most things about dreaming is simply not known. I am almost positive, that dreaming varies from one to another. I don't even believe each dream, for each individual, is exactly the same. Some of my dreams are about a, or my future. Some are about the past. Some are reality based, or directly a reliving of a memory. I have solved real-world problems in dreams, with varying success. I have received, what I believe, are messages from God in them. I have even gone to places I have never been, a few times, and then been able to locate those places, down to the streets and businesses, after waking. Not sure dreams are... quite what scientists want to think. Or that people are just animals. Scare a scientist and he will jump and hide behind "science". Low social-sexual, the herd mentality, and some other things lead them that way. Shouldn't hate them for their limits. Like women, even if they see it themselves, if the fear is great enough, they can even, literally, forget.
As to anyone believing, I guess that is your choice. Perhaps, if you, and everyone you know, fails to do something, you consider it impossible. However, I remind, there are unique... people... among you. I would even say they aren't quite as unique as it might seem, but that is for another time. How many of you can benchpress two and an half times your body weight? solve even a minor calculus problem, let alone develop program to function a complicated mathematical procedure? or write a sonata? or any of a thousand things you know are, or have been, done? If nothing else, being right after Easter, should you be Christian, you know what He did. The simplest seems beyond any of us, water to wine, walking on water. Believe or not.
Well... best get the trash out. I missed tearing down boxes, and getting those into recycling... probably. Hmm... maybe not. Might give that a whirl first, then get to trash. Later.
.
The trash needs to be put out. A shower, then bath, needs to be taken. I need to find some paperwork, and get that going. I'm just not moving quickly. Bleh.
A while back, foam suggested I consider looking into lucid dreaming. I suggested that I already do that, pretty much as a grandmaster level. Still, the notion eventually caused my curiosity to initiate an investigation. I had thought that lucid dreaming meant dream control. It doesn't. It merely means being aware, consciously aware, during a dream. Dream control is another, different, dream possibility. Still, I am awake in all of my dreams. Once in a while I won't be, but will 'wake' to what is happening fairly quickly... like dozing in the theater to wake as the reel starts. As for control, there is little I can't change in a dream. As I told her, however, I usually don't change the dream... it often ruins the experience. If there is something very objectionable I simply end the dream. There are dreams that, while I am aware of what is happening, I cannot change them. Those dreams seem to be based on hard history, things I have done. The thing is, some of those things, I am told, did not happen. I have targeted those for decades, armed with assurances that they aren't real. As with other dreams of history that I do know happened, however, I cannot change these.
I, before studying today, thought all people did this, at least from time to time. I am quite surprised to find that few do. There are even groups out there trying to train people to be aware, just be aware, in dreams. It seems to be rather rare, especially for every dream (that I remember), to know it is a dream. I am guessing it may be as rare to have control in dreams. The two are not necessarily inclusive. Meaning, you don't have to be aware to exert control, and you might not exert control even if you are aware. Doing both, in any dream, is probably... rather rarer? The only thing I have done is attempted to dream about a specific idea. I hadn't, until recently, had chain dreams. I am actually told that is impossible, but from having just done it, for myself, I know it is not just possible but doable. I even know how to increase the likelihood of creating it, but that is uncomfortable. It takes sleep deprivation, and attempts at waking during the dream cycle. Since I can't know when I will be dreaming, and don't care much for sleep deprivation, it only happens by accident. I'll keep it that way, and as rare as possible. Plus, I can never remember those dreams very long after waking.
I honestly don't know very much about dreams. I doubt the symbolism often given to events or specific items. I don't believe that time, in dreams, is the same as it is in real life because I have lived nearly full lives in dreams, many times. Not possible that the time correlates. Still, most things about dreaming is simply not known. I am almost positive, that dreaming varies from one to another. I don't even believe each dream, for each individual, is exactly the same. Some of my dreams are about a, or my future. Some are about the past. Some are reality based, or directly a reliving of a memory. I have solved real-world problems in dreams, with varying success. I have received, what I believe, are messages from God in them. I have even gone to places I have never been, a few times, and then been able to locate those places, down to the streets and businesses, after waking. Not sure dreams are... quite what scientists want to think. Or that people are just animals. Scare a scientist and he will jump and hide behind "science". Low social-sexual, the herd mentality, and some other things lead them that way. Shouldn't hate them for their limits. Like women, even if they see it themselves, if the fear is great enough, they can even, literally, forget.
As to anyone believing, I guess that is your choice. Perhaps, if you, and everyone you know, fails to do something, you consider it impossible. However, I remind, there are unique... people... among you. I would even say they aren't quite as unique as it might seem, but that is for another time. How many of you can benchpress two and an half times your body weight? solve even a minor calculus problem, let alone develop program to function a complicated mathematical procedure? or write a sonata? or any of a thousand things you know are, or have been, done? If nothing else, being right after Easter, should you be Christian, you know what He did. The simplest seems beyond any of us, water to wine, walking on water. Believe or not.
Well... best get the trash out. I missed tearing down boxes, and getting those into recycling... probably. Hmm... maybe not. Might give that a whirl first, then get to trash. Later.
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Strange dreaming again.
.
.
I decided on a nap, just after noon. Thing is, I could neither fall asleep nor get up. So I rested. Eventually, at about 14:00-15:00, I slept. I saw that it was about to happen, so set the alarm for 16:00. Then I began to dream. Another dream storm, but of the linked variety I spoke of recently. When the alarm went off, I could not wake, and was chasing the dream. Something in it. The snooze was used a few times, then abandoned for a 17:00 reset. Each interruption still saw me back to sleep, chasing that original dream. Something in those, impossible as they are supposed to be, drew me back in, and to the same dream. Neither instance of those incidents lead me to conscious understanding. I remember nothing, only... I was supposed to see something. I do know it was a problem, each time, I was solving. But at speeds, and in ways, my conscious mind cannot quite understand. Imagine doing all of the calculus problems in a particular chapter in moments. Your conscious mind wants to slow down, check, decipher, be consciously aware. For some, that isn't absolutely necessary, when they let go. And so it was. I believe I was looking at timelines. Variations and variables, effects on self and others, possibilities, improbabilities, wants, needs, wishes, for a couple of decades to come... minus certain other possibilities... if those would change everything no matter of anything else.
Spooks and ghosts. I don't think most people know what those are. Sometimes there is overlap, usually not. Both are affects of political and military needs. The latter of the of the two is more the latter of the prior. The former of the two is a political, mostly, manifestation. Both are drained of self and set to mission orientation. However, ghosts do not have an interest in who, or how, only what. They both exist to create something. Spooks are pawns of politics, ghosts are actors of military designs. They do not, however, mix well... as a general rule. Ghosts are only sworn to the mission, spooks are sworn to whatever political lies and liars hold sway. Bound to, and in, those lies. Noses can be put a bit out of place when an encounter occurs. Even if no one else notices a thing. It's how monsters "do". Much as how nephilim and those bearing the mark of Cain "do". Bastard of many sorts, as has been indicated before. You must believe as you wish, though I suggest believing what is true. If you can. If all three meet? Ghosts are warriors, spooks are bureaucrats with guns, and those with the mark are merely animals.
.
I decided on a nap, just after noon. Thing is, I could neither fall asleep nor get up. So I rested. Eventually, at about 14:00-15:00, I slept. I saw that it was about to happen, so set the alarm for 16:00. Then I began to dream. Another dream storm, but of the linked variety I spoke of recently. When the alarm went off, I could not wake, and was chasing the dream. Something in it. The snooze was used a few times, then abandoned for a 17:00 reset. Each interruption still saw me back to sleep, chasing that original dream. Something in those, impossible as they are supposed to be, drew me back in, and to the same dream. Neither instance of those incidents lead me to conscious understanding. I remember nothing, only... I was supposed to see something. I do know it was a problem, each time, I was solving. But at speeds, and in ways, my conscious mind cannot quite understand. Imagine doing all of the calculus problems in a particular chapter in moments. Your conscious mind wants to slow down, check, decipher, be consciously aware. For some, that isn't absolutely necessary, when they let go. And so it was. I believe I was looking at timelines. Variations and variables, effects on self and others, possibilities, improbabilities, wants, needs, wishes, for a couple of decades to come... minus certain other possibilities... if those would change everything no matter of anything else.
Spooks and ghosts. I don't think most people know what those are. Sometimes there is overlap, usually not. Both are affects of political and military needs. The latter of the of the two is more the latter of the prior. The former of the two is a political, mostly, manifestation. Both are drained of self and set to mission orientation. However, ghosts do not have an interest in who, or how, only what. They both exist to create something. Spooks are pawns of politics, ghosts are actors of military designs. They do not, however, mix well... as a general rule. Ghosts are only sworn to the mission, spooks are sworn to whatever political lies and liars hold sway. Bound to, and in, those lies. Noses can be put a bit out of place when an encounter occurs. Even if no one else notices a thing. It's how monsters "do". Much as how nephilim and those bearing the mark of Cain "do". Bastard of many sorts, as has been indicated before. You must believe as you wish, though I suggest believing what is true. If you can. If all three meet? Ghosts are warriors, spooks are bureaucrats with guns, and those with the mark are merely animals.
Long day, yesterday.
.
.
I was awake at 17:00, the day before yesterday, I believe. I mean, that is when I woke. I was invited to an event, yesterday, starting at... I had thought 13:30, but ended up starting more like at 15:00 or so. I had thought to get a nap in, but... ran out of time and couldn't get one in earlier. I didn't get back until just before midnight, I believe. But, as you may well know in your own life, as you push the edges of your day, tracking finicky details becomes difficult. An half hour, in either direction of time, makes midnight close enough though. I think I checked mail and blog before going to bed.
I thought about setting the alarm. Having been up that long, I wasn't sure how much time to give myself, or really if I would need extra sleep or a lot of extra sleep, so just let the notion go. A good opportunity, if all worked, to reset my day. But forcing it rarely works. I figured I would be awake by 10:00, or so. Right at 7:30, instead, I woke. Not with a start, there was no struggle, I simply woke, and was awake exactly as it should be when it is right, and I am. *blink* Up, a pot of coffee was put on, a bit of an odd review of my blog read territory, an email check, and I find myself half through the fist cup of joe just a bit before 9:00. A bit weary, from the trip and stretch, but not out of sorts completely. Just about all good given the givens, and then some. It's the body that feels stretched.
Oh, a bit of research. Since Canada seems to be an extreme nanny nation, I had to look at options for traveling with my particular firearms regarding a move to Alaska. The US should have forced a US to Alaska corridor that was free of Canadian oversight. Since they didn't, other options have to be sought, and have been. And there are other methods. More information is needed on the various methods, though, even so. Not this, perhaps next, year, I will explore those options, perhaps using them for a trip to Alaska to look around. Since I have no real schedule, I can take my time. The only real consideration is cost of travel, lodging, and such. A bit of planning and saving might see to that being less of an issue. A lot of research, probably. But a review of some of the areas that might be more tolerable to live a more... rustic life. Discussions with their game wardens and locals. A better understanding of staying stocked, costs, distances, and difficulties. Not quite going through the door, merely doing a bit more than just looking through it. Though... serendipity. What a fine name for a lass to take for herself, by the way. And a fine event to find one's self experiencing. Uhrm... no link, save for that of her man, mind you. :p
Either way, I have to sort out this place. Go or stay, some things need to be done. Either way, I may order one of those construction trash containers and begin clearing and cleaning. Stay or go, it is time to simply... unload, open up, removing the dead weight of life I kept for... whatever reasons. I suppose I could attempt to sell things, but that isn't really in my mind or ways. Sorting, storing, organizing, trashing, figuring. Life will be busy as the nexus approaches. In a year I will know, in three it will be done. Beyond sorting of the household will be learning skills. Either way, I hope to have some outdoors skills under my belt. Even should I stay, and surrender my house to a woman, I will... need to leave from time to time. For not just my, but her, sanity. This I know. Half a day to a week or two, a few times a week to every few months, winter, summer, rain, snow, shine.
Still, I am thinking more on Alaska, if simply because of the odds. Delusion is too easy to slip into, may have done it, only time will tell. Alaska may be a delusion too. Though, one thing about delusion? Everything is delusion right up until it isn't. Best be ready for that transformation, whichever unlikely (or as they have told me, impossible) way it leads into reality. Knowing how to tie the knots of reality, from one paradigm to the next, is the only way to be sure. Well, that and nuking it from space, but I'm not quite there yet. :)
Oh, and you cannot lead some blind, for they see far better than the best of guides. More, be careful what you wish, whatever that may be. Sure, I want a tank, but I wouldn't wish the care and feeding on my worst enemy. Or the responsibility. And, some things, you just can't control. For a while, within your capacity, sometimes not at all. Stop the sun from shining, the earth from rotating, or the moon from drawing tide, and we will talk. Even then, there will be a comparing of notes and sizing of capacities. Even beyond that, will be the notion of wisdom beyond capacity. Otherwise, prepare for the inevitable. I just short circuited things and am preparing. But that's just me.
Later.
.
I was awake at 17:00, the day before yesterday, I believe. I mean, that is when I woke. I was invited to an event, yesterday, starting at... I had thought 13:30, but ended up starting more like at 15:00 or so. I had thought to get a nap in, but... ran out of time and couldn't get one in earlier. I didn't get back until just before midnight, I believe. But, as you may well know in your own life, as you push the edges of your day, tracking finicky details becomes difficult. An half hour, in either direction of time, makes midnight close enough though. I think I checked mail and blog before going to bed.
I thought about setting the alarm. Having been up that long, I wasn't sure how much time to give myself, or really if I would need extra sleep or a lot of extra sleep, so just let the notion go. A good opportunity, if all worked, to reset my day. But forcing it rarely works. I figured I would be awake by 10:00, or so. Right at 7:30, instead, I woke. Not with a start, there was no struggle, I simply woke, and was awake exactly as it should be when it is right, and I am. *blink* Up, a pot of coffee was put on, a bit of an odd review of my blog read territory, an email check, and I find myself half through the fist cup of joe just a bit before 9:00. A bit weary, from the trip and stretch, but not out of sorts completely. Just about all good given the givens, and then some. It's the body that feels stretched.
Oh, a bit of research. Since Canada seems to be an extreme nanny nation, I had to look at options for traveling with my particular firearms regarding a move to Alaska. The US should have forced a US to Alaska corridor that was free of Canadian oversight. Since they didn't, other options have to be sought, and have been. And there are other methods. More information is needed on the various methods, though, even so. Not this, perhaps next, year, I will explore those options, perhaps using them for a trip to Alaska to look around. Since I have no real schedule, I can take my time. The only real consideration is cost of travel, lodging, and such. A bit of planning and saving might see to that being less of an issue. A lot of research, probably. But a review of some of the areas that might be more tolerable to live a more... rustic life. Discussions with their game wardens and locals. A better understanding of staying stocked, costs, distances, and difficulties. Not quite going through the door, merely doing a bit more than just looking through it. Though... serendipity. What a fine name for a lass to take for herself, by the way. And a fine event to find one's self experiencing. Uhrm... no link, save for that of her man, mind you. :p
Either way, I have to sort out this place. Go or stay, some things need to be done. Either way, I may order one of those construction trash containers and begin clearing and cleaning. Stay or go, it is time to simply... unload, open up, removing the dead weight of life I kept for... whatever reasons. I suppose I could attempt to sell things, but that isn't really in my mind or ways. Sorting, storing, organizing, trashing, figuring. Life will be busy as the nexus approaches. In a year I will know, in three it will be done. Beyond sorting of the household will be learning skills. Either way, I hope to have some outdoors skills under my belt. Even should I stay, and surrender my house to a woman, I will... need to leave from time to time. For not just my, but her, sanity. This I know. Half a day to a week or two, a few times a week to every few months, winter, summer, rain, snow, shine.
Still, I am thinking more on Alaska, if simply because of the odds. Delusion is too easy to slip into, may have done it, only time will tell. Alaska may be a delusion too. Though, one thing about delusion? Everything is delusion right up until it isn't. Best be ready for that transformation, whichever unlikely (or as they have told me, impossible) way it leads into reality. Knowing how to tie the knots of reality, from one paradigm to the next, is the only way to be sure. Well, that and nuking it from space, but I'm not quite there yet. :)
Oh, and you cannot lead some blind, for they see far better than the best of guides. More, be careful what you wish, whatever that may be. Sure, I want a tank, but I wouldn't wish the care and feeding on my worst enemy. Or the responsibility. And, some things, you just can't control. For a while, within your capacity, sometimes not at all. Stop the sun from shining, the earth from rotating, or the moon from drawing tide, and we will talk. Even then, there will be a comparing of notes and sizing of capacities. Even beyond that, will be the notion of wisdom beyond capacity. Otherwise, prepare for the inevitable. I just short circuited things and am preparing. But that's just me.
Later.
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Fishing?
.
.
Not today, precisely, but perhaps soon. I did order a decent fly rod and reel, a fishing vest and hat, and a few other items. As for flies, the kit came with some, though I suspect, when I get ready, I'll have to ask locals what's cooking, or catching. I am also not sure about the water temp and my tootsies. It looks like the reel is preset, it's a 9'6" rod with a 5 weight reel. I have heard to go higher, and that good fisherman, or for smaller fish, a shorter rod and lighter weight is preferred. Most advise for noobs was what I purchased. There is some notion that larger men use heavier rods. Though the notion was that some large men have club-handed ways. While I can have that, I also can have the lightest of touches. So, I suspect, this will do.
I will need flies, most likely. And something for the feet. I'm just not sure, exactly, quite yet. Of course, a license must be procured. As for spots, there are many. Large, small, and medium, and quite close. Nothing like having blue-ribbon spots less than an hour away, probably in several directions. And with camp sites not all that far away, should I wish to follow a river, a branch, or move on to other rivers. I really would like trout. I won't bother taking lemon, lime, and salt, until I catch my limit regularly. I do need to figure out how to clean them. I used to know, and a gent I was speaking with recently sort of reminded me. Though he probably hasn't thought of the cleanings as more than discard. I wish to investigate which organs are edible. Why? Well, if you go on a long fishing expedition, unless you bring fats, you could end up in trouble. I don't believe the offal will completely offset it, but it probably would help a bit. The liver is fatty, perhaps the roe as well. Not sure about the heart, but it might have some things of use. Not sure about the other organs, either. Cooked or not. Just make sure they aren't inflamed. Just as with squirrel or other game, even if you don't consume those parts. Bad is bad.
One of the items I purchased was a magnetized wrist band. Actually I purchased two. One for the tackle box, one for the tool box. I suspect the one I wear for fishing will begin to smell of river and fish. Not... something I care to have on my tools, in my home unless contained. The idea is, that at times, several tools, while fishing, are good to have handy. Coils are okay, but clumsy, often. Dropping tools in a river is easy, and cold to retrieve if they can be found. I wasn't sure the thing would fit, my wrists start at 7 1/2", then push to 8 1/2"-9" in the span of the wrist wrap. But it does fit. The thing is, the magnets in the bars are not very strong. Very strong for light items, not so good for a knife, larger scissors, or hemostats, or such. So, I found magnetic bars, about the size of the pocket, which I am hoping will take up that slack. Ideally, I'd love to have them be strong enough to hold a pistol. While I am not counting on that, I do hope to rig the device to do as I need securely. After all that, I best get to the rivers!
I may also update the toolkit wrist magnets as well. Just trying to make what I see real, or as real as possible. I suppose I could use science to figure out how to get what I desire, but that turns out to be a lot of work that is more often wrong than right. Just buy, tinker, and find out? Yeah. Hmm... a bite to eat, a shower and bath, best feed the girls before all else though actually, then a nap. Later.
.
Not today, precisely, but perhaps soon. I did order a decent fly rod and reel, a fishing vest and hat, and a few other items. As for flies, the kit came with some, though I suspect, when I get ready, I'll have to ask locals what's cooking, or catching. I am also not sure about the water temp and my tootsies. It looks like the reel is preset, it's a 9'6" rod with a 5 weight reel. I have heard to go higher, and that good fisherman, or for smaller fish, a shorter rod and lighter weight is preferred. Most advise for noobs was what I purchased. There is some notion that larger men use heavier rods. Though the notion was that some large men have club-handed ways. While I can have that, I also can have the lightest of touches. So, I suspect, this will do.
I will need flies, most likely. And something for the feet. I'm just not sure, exactly, quite yet. Of course, a license must be procured. As for spots, there are many. Large, small, and medium, and quite close. Nothing like having blue-ribbon spots less than an hour away, probably in several directions. And with camp sites not all that far away, should I wish to follow a river, a branch, or move on to other rivers. I really would like trout. I won't bother taking lemon, lime, and salt, until I catch my limit regularly. I do need to figure out how to clean them. I used to know, and a gent I was speaking with recently sort of reminded me. Though he probably hasn't thought of the cleanings as more than discard. I wish to investigate which organs are edible. Why? Well, if you go on a long fishing expedition, unless you bring fats, you could end up in trouble. I don't believe the offal will completely offset it, but it probably would help a bit. The liver is fatty, perhaps the roe as well. Not sure about the heart, but it might have some things of use. Not sure about the other organs, either. Cooked or not. Just make sure they aren't inflamed. Just as with squirrel or other game, even if you don't consume those parts. Bad is bad.
One of the items I purchased was a magnetized wrist band. Actually I purchased two. One for the tackle box, one for the tool box. I suspect the one I wear for fishing will begin to smell of river and fish. Not... something I care to have on my tools, in my home unless contained. The idea is, that at times, several tools, while fishing, are good to have handy. Coils are okay, but clumsy, often. Dropping tools in a river is easy, and cold to retrieve if they can be found. I wasn't sure the thing would fit, my wrists start at 7 1/2", then push to 8 1/2"-9" in the span of the wrist wrap. But it does fit. The thing is, the magnets in the bars are not very strong. Very strong for light items, not so good for a knife, larger scissors, or hemostats, or such. So, I found magnetic bars, about the size of the pocket, which I am hoping will take up that slack. Ideally, I'd love to have them be strong enough to hold a pistol. While I am not counting on that, I do hope to rig the device to do as I need securely. After all that, I best get to the rivers!
I may also update the toolkit wrist magnets as well. Just trying to make what I see real, or as real as possible. I suppose I could use science to figure out how to get what I desire, but that turns out to be a lot of work that is more often wrong than right. Just buy, tinker, and find out? Yeah. Hmm... a bite to eat, a shower and bath, best feed the girls before all else though actually, then a nap. Later.
Probably not the lack of vitamins and minerals.
.
.
I'm thinking the cool of spring, and various changes, is what is keeping me down a bit. That mixed with general health issues, perhaps. Doesn't take much, from any of my difficulties, often in mild combinations, for me to get decked. Decked I am. Still, pushing on. Mostly just in the mind, but that is enough. Keeping what engines active that I can keep active is my best bet. The mind, being active, is pretty much key. Though, in the right situations, with external stimulus or even stimuli if it is concentrated enough (mom, a... focused woman type, or drill sergeant type, as examples), I can work with the body being solid but the mind being lax. In any case, with the mind in play, at least I can plot, plan, figure, and hit efforts here and there. It's like using an electric device when electricity is spotty for whatever reason. Frustrating, takes longer, sometimes much longer, than it should, but it's better than literally just sitting there. So it has been for some time now.
I finished Fringe, the series. Encased in egalitarianism as it was, there were some reasonable zero-point notions. There was some mild maturity to it, over the course of events. And there are a few things just for something like me, not necessarily to be shared. Some of the sci-fi notions, if based on (to my mind) old, dated, theories, were interesting to contemplate. I could, easily, transcribe a few things, to imagine the more realistic (again, to my mind) notions. The ideas of space, time, coupled quarks, and a few other things still have imaginative possibility. Sometimes they made obvious mistakes in the lines of their logic though... very offputting. Sometimes they got it. Sometimes they simply missed altogether. To me, it looks like the intention of the show was to bring women into sci-fi/science. Realizing, as they can't choose to otherwise if they pay attention at all, they realized women don't give a shit about science. There seems to have been a constant battle between those writers/directors trying to keep women, and those trying to keep the show on sci-fi footing. Probably why it only made five seasons. Though, perhaps, the senior actor was at an end, and they realized there wasn't a show without him.
They did happen to get the notion of how women change with motherhood. The lead female, who had been a go-getter (impossibly, of course, but...) transformed into a much more cautious woman. She saw what the risks involved, tabulated, and started not wanting to 'play the game'. That's not a bad thing. I am surprised they caught that, then added it. I never liked the second male actor. His character was a putz, start to stop. He may have improved, or tried to do so. He is what women might suggest they want, but what has been proven that they don't want. In real life, when they meet such a dolt, they suggest that if he is tea, they want coffee... if he is coffee, they want tea. A perfect delta/beta nothing husband. I suppose because women can't see, in their minds, their needs and wants for fear... because they don't understand or want to, on an adult level, the real interaction between the sexes. The man is what they think they want, but don't want. Not quite to the level of creepy, more to the level of 'bleh', or maybe 'friend'. That she took his hand, and led him to their fist sexual encounter, proved it.
The lead male actor had some interesting characteristics, for me. He had, fearing what he was becoming, had his people remove parts of his brain. Talk about death of ego. I merely broke my heart! Although, I must admit, had I thought of a directed brain reduction... Hmm... No, no need at this point. Still, I wouldn't have had access to the process, or the people or tech to direct such a thing correctly. He used drugs to see, feel, and float through notions. I have needed no such thing. Actually, I wonder how much damage those things did to him. It's one way, just not the best way. I would call it the lazy, or even foolish, man's way. Enough pain, suffering, experience, time, and some other elements allow one to let go and find, of mind, in ways that drugs cannot. If you can't do it natively, perhaps it really isn't your area. Plus, I think most drugs are escapes, not searches. Still... there were some reasons to see a few cross-references.
If you are into sci-fi, more so if you are a woman who believe women are equal (or want to believe), this show might be for you. If you have a steady hold on the differences between what is real, and not, and wish for some interesting diversion, this might work. Not really my cup of tea. It could have gone places, but it was too deeply targeting the feminine, which is not a scientific, or sci-fi, endeavor. Just, compared to most of the modern fair, it ranks a few steps up... with the caveats. Believe as you wish, believe does not fabricate fact. Believe what Is, the rest will attend itself. Good luck, runners.
Just woke. The girls have been disturbing my sleep, I think. Which is part of why I am in awful straights. I need to begin setting my alarm. Not necessarily to wake me, more to make sure I am getting enough sleep, or too much if I don't think the latter is part of the problem. Too little sleep, however, even a few times a week, can build. Between the cool and too little sleep, yeah.
A shower, a bath, a shave... some dishes, perhaps another load of laundry... then a nap so as to be ready for potential events this evening. Oh, I added "Day Dreams" because I am not even close to awake, mostly. Later.
.
I'm thinking the cool of spring, and various changes, is what is keeping me down a bit. That mixed with general health issues, perhaps. Doesn't take much, from any of my difficulties, often in mild combinations, for me to get decked. Decked I am. Still, pushing on. Mostly just in the mind, but that is enough. Keeping what engines active that I can keep active is my best bet. The mind, being active, is pretty much key. Though, in the right situations, with external stimulus or even stimuli if it is concentrated enough (mom, a... focused woman type, or drill sergeant type, as examples), I can work with the body being solid but the mind being lax. In any case, with the mind in play, at least I can plot, plan, figure, and hit efforts here and there. It's like using an electric device when electricity is spotty for whatever reason. Frustrating, takes longer, sometimes much longer, than it should, but it's better than literally just sitting there. So it has been for some time now.
I finished Fringe, the series. Encased in egalitarianism as it was, there were some reasonable zero-point notions. There was some mild maturity to it, over the course of events. And there are a few things just for something like me, not necessarily to be shared. Some of the sci-fi notions, if based on (to my mind) old, dated, theories, were interesting to contemplate. I could, easily, transcribe a few things, to imagine the more realistic (again, to my mind) notions. The ideas of space, time, coupled quarks, and a few other things still have imaginative possibility. Sometimes they made obvious mistakes in the lines of their logic though... very offputting. Sometimes they got it. Sometimes they simply missed altogether. To me, it looks like the intention of the show was to bring women into sci-fi/science. Realizing, as they can't choose to otherwise if they pay attention at all, they realized women don't give a shit about science. There seems to have been a constant battle between those writers/directors trying to keep women, and those trying to keep the show on sci-fi footing. Probably why it only made five seasons. Though, perhaps, the senior actor was at an end, and they realized there wasn't a show without him.
They did happen to get the notion of how women change with motherhood. The lead female, who had been a go-getter (impossibly, of course, but...) transformed into a much more cautious woman. She saw what the risks involved, tabulated, and started not wanting to 'play the game'. That's not a bad thing. I am surprised they caught that, then added it. I never liked the second male actor. His character was a putz, start to stop. He may have improved, or tried to do so. He is what women might suggest they want, but what has been proven that they don't want. In real life, when they meet such a dolt, they suggest that if he is tea, they want coffee... if he is coffee, they want tea. A perfect delta/beta nothing husband. I suppose because women can't see, in their minds, their needs and wants for fear... because they don't understand or want to, on an adult level, the real interaction between the sexes. The man is what they think they want, but don't want. Not quite to the level of creepy, more to the level of 'bleh', or maybe 'friend'. That she took his hand, and led him to their fist sexual encounter, proved it.
The lead male actor had some interesting characteristics, for me. He had, fearing what he was becoming, had his people remove parts of his brain. Talk about death of ego. I merely broke my heart! Although, I must admit, had I thought of a directed brain reduction... Hmm... No, no need at this point. Still, I wouldn't have had access to the process, or the people or tech to direct such a thing correctly. He used drugs to see, feel, and float through notions. I have needed no such thing. Actually, I wonder how much damage those things did to him. It's one way, just not the best way. I would call it the lazy, or even foolish, man's way. Enough pain, suffering, experience, time, and some other elements allow one to let go and find, of mind, in ways that drugs cannot. If you can't do it natively, perhaps it really isn't your area. Plus, I think most drugs are escapes, not searches. Still... there were some reasons to see a few cross-references.
If you are into sci-fi, more so if you are a woman who believe women are equal (or want to believe), this show might be for you. If you have a steady hold on the differences between what is real, and not, and wish for some interesting diversion, this might work. Not really my cup of tea. It could have gone places, but it was too deeply targeting the feminine, which is not a scientific, or sci-fi, endeavor. Just, compared to most of the modern fair, it ranks a few steps up... with the caveats. Believe as you wish, believe does not fabricate fact. Believe what Is, the rest will attend itself. Good luck, runners.
Just woke. The girls have been disturbing my sleep, I think. Which is part of why I am in awful straights. I need to begin setting my alarm. Not necessarily to wake me, more to make sure I am getting enough sleep, or too much if I don't think the latter is part of the problem. Too little sleep, however, even a few times a week, can build. Between the cool and too little sleep, yeah.
A shower, a bath, a shave... some dishes, perhaps another load of laundry... then a nap so as to be ready for potential events this evening. Oh, I added "Day Dreams" because I am not even close to awake, mostly. Later.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Parting shots regarding recent lore.
.
.
It has been told that I do not, always... reciprocate. Some have thought me stone, iron, cold, aloof. I have told them that they simply choose not to see, and not to expect too much. Demanding much, but giving little, seems unfair. And, perhaps it is. Or, perhaps, one simply needs to understand what it takes to give that little. A widow's mite is greater than many fortunes surrendered, due to the relative value and resultant reliance upon faith from giving the sacrifice. Further, moving a mountain a hundredth of an inch is greater than running a lifetime of marathons or lifting any amount of weight a man might through all of his time. If a woman loves rightly, and abides in spite of this, she will know, in either case. In any case, love me some caged gerbil. *spin*
.
It has been told that I do not, always... reciprocate. Some have thought me stone, iron, cold, aloof. I have told them that they simply choose not to see, and not to expect too much. Demanding much, but giving little, seems unfair. And, perhaps it is. Or, perhaps, one simply needs to understand what it takes to give that little. A widow's mite is greater than many fortunes surrendered, due to the relative value and resultant reliance upon faith from giving the sacrifice. Further, moving a mountain a hundredth of an inch is greater than running a lifetime of marathons or lifting any amount of weight a man might through all of his time. If a woman loves rightly, and abides in spite of this, she will know, in either case. In any case, love me some caged gerbil. *spin*
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Always more lore.
.
.
There are certain figures in various faiths, myths, legends, and such which attract my attention. I can't but see them. It seems that I have always known them. Too, I have carved from the stories and fables that which is... real. I can't do that for others. I can only show them the material with which I started, some of the steps along the way, and the final product. Whether there is any link, or not, is not even for any to know, not even always... Though, even if there were, it might not be best to say.
.
There are certain figures in various faiths, myths, legends, and such which attract my attention. I can't but see them. It seems that I have always known them. Too, I have carved from the stories and fables that which is... real. I can't do that for others. I can only show them the material with which I started, some of the steps along the way, and the final product. Whether there is any link, or not, is not even for any to know, not even always... Though, even if there were, it might not be best to say.
I am thinking.
.
.
Which means I have been quiet. It is why I have been quiet. As I tabulate possibility, probability, reality, so as to chart a set of contrary courses, figuring out what can be done to clear the way for both without impeding either, at this point, I have been away from blogging, and life to some degree. I stepped out for a bit. Reality, of course, isn't what you make it. It is, however, exactly what you make of it. Where that line that divides truly exists, however, is... a fluid thing. For some it is more of a semi-solid. For others it is as a river. The only thing that, for those who know the water, is needed to be understood, is that a foot can never be placed in the same river. What is will be gone, so timing, as with jokes, is everything. Though, for those of severe fluidity, even that often means very little. Usually.
Yes, plans are being drawn. Notions fleshed out, recovered, integrated, and derived. The paths are being scouted, methods are being devised, sight is being freed to see, without blinders or obstructions, including those of self. This... takes a bit out of a being, any being, so other things must suffer. Have you ever watched an Olympic pole vaulter? Look, if you haven't. The concentration isn't just on the face, you will see it in their movements, running, a bit on the face, and in their... ways. Now, make it a bit more interesting. Make it as if there is a jump to the right and to the left, but they won't know which way they will have to go until they are into their sprint. That is what I am seeing before me. Fail? Not an option? Oh, it's an option, and more. It isn't even a possibility, so much as a requirement. Whether I clear either bar, or the correct one, in a long enough time line, which for those drawing breath is quite short, failure is guaranteed. Zero-point on a bias is the only way to claim some small victories. No, I am not perfectly satisfied with the idea, but it is what it is. Still, that is the way. How successfully I can navigate the choices will decide how much success at the future I will see.
So, as I figure things out, and begin laying the foundations for whichever future it is to be, I am otherwise indisposed. The thinking is heavy, the doing... the crafting of reality, will be a bit more... tedious. As I have suggested, all the planning, preparation, practice, and thought that goes into life often comes down to a few critical moments. How, in other words, do you catch a bullet? Most can't. Those who can do it very slowly, painstakingly, and through time, and then very very quickly. Which... sort of... is what I am doing, or preparing to do.
On the good side, just this morning... I think... or yesterday morning(?)... I beat my new old and older sudoku record. I have completed a puzzle in 9 seconds. My old best was 12 seconds, the one before it was 13 seconds (from the day before). The one before that was 15 seconds, set quite some time ago. Oh, nothing fancy. I am sure there are those, with quicker, smaller, fingers... and younger or better minds... or both... who can do them much faster. And it isn't every puzzle or all the time. Some days my body isn't right, sometimes my mind isn't right, and there are times when neither is right. My usual, for that level, is around 25-32 seconds. That is still, usually, at the 100% mark, compared to thousands of other players. Though whether usual players, or just stoned hipsters with no real clue or interest, are fair or true tests of my ability, is another thing. I just don't know the quality of the competition.
Just letting you know that I haven't died, or gone missing, yet, or such. I'm... thinking... as I wrote. Today? I am going to try to take my mind off the process and do some work. Or, at least, split that up a bit. I should be able to kick out the dishes, I have taken a shower, maybe I'll do another load of laundry, and manage the cat litter. Time only tells what will be, regardless of plans. Later.
.
Which means I have been quiet. It is why I have been quiet. As I tabulate possibility, probability, reality, so as to chart a set of contrary courses, figuring out what can be done to clear the way for both without impeding either, at this point, I have been away from blogging, and life to some degree. I stepped out for a bit. Reality, of course, isn't what you make it. It is, however, exactly what you make of it. Where that line that divides truly exists, however, is... a fluid thing. For some it is more of a semi-solid. For others it is as a river. The only thing that, for those who know the water, is needed to be understood, is that a foot can never be placed in the same river. What is will be gone, so timing, as with jokes, is everything. Though, for those of severe fluidity, even that often means very little. Usually.
Yes, plans are being drawn. Notions fleshed out, recovered, integrated, and derived. The paths are being scouted, methods are being devised, sight is being freed to see, without blinders or obstructions, including those of self. This... takes a bit out of a being, any being, so other things must suffer. Have you ever watched an Olympic pole vaulter? Look, if you haven't. The concentration isn't just on the face, you will see it in their movements, running, a bit on the face, and in their... ways. Now, make it a bit more interesting. Make it as if there is a jump to the right and to the left, but they won't know which way they will have to go until they are into their sprint. That is what I am seeing before me. Fail? Not an option? Oh, it's an option, and more. It isn't even a possibility, so much as a requirement. Whether I clear either bar, or the correct one, in a long enough time line, which for those drawing breath is quite short, failure is guaranteed. Zero-point on a bias is the only way to claim some small victories. No, I am not perfectly satisfied with the idea, but it is what it is. Still, that is the way. How successfully I can navigate the choices will decide how much success at the future I will see.
So, as I figure things out, and begin laying the foundations for whichever future it is to be, I am otherwise indisposed. The thinking is heavy, the doing... the crafting of reality, will be a bit more... tedious. As I have suggested, all the planning, preparation, practice, and thought that goes into life often comes down to a few critical moments. How, in other words, do you catch a bullet? Most can't. Those who can do it very slowly, painstakingly, and through time, and then very very quickly. Which... sort of... is what I am doing, or preparing to do.
On the good side, just this morning... I think... or yesterday morning(?)... I beat my new old and older sudoku record. I have completed a puzzle in 9 seconds. My old best was 12 seconds, the one before it was 13 seconds (from the day before). The one before that was 15 seconds, set quite some time ago. Oh, nothing fancy. I am sure there are those, with quicker, smaller, fingers... and younger or better minds... or both... who can do them much faster. And it isn't every puzzle or all the time. Some days my body isn't right, sometimes my mind isn't right, and there are times when neither is right. My usual, for that level, is around 25-32 seconds. That is still, usually, at the 100% mark, compared to thousands of other players. Though whether usual players, or just stoned hipsters with no real clue or interest, are fair or true tests of my ability, is another thing. I just don't know the quality of the competition.
Just letting you know that I haven't died, or gone missing, yet, or such. I'm... thinking... as I wrote. Today? I am going to try to take my mind off the process and do some work. Or, at least, split that up a bit. I should be able to kick out the dishes, I have taken a shower, maybe I'll do another load of laundry, and manage the cat litter. Time only tells what will be, regardless of plans. Later.
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