Yeah, bed beckoned a second time.

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I was up until 4:00 or 5:00, then crashed again.  All good, given the givens, that works.  I was down for another three or four hours.  Hmm, technically that was something like a long nap, in the scheme of things.  Today is a day of rest, as will tomorrow be most likely.  I'd still like to do a few things.  We'll see.

Coffee helped, the second time awake.  I need to do some other things, like thaw meat.  Barring that, a trip to town for takeout might work... if I can get up and going to do that.  If I can just begin seeing housework as snow, I might be able to get to it.  The thing is, the cave being cluttered doesn't prevent me from getting out.  Then again, snow doesn't either, unless it is really deep.

Later.

Sleep was good, if a bit long.

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I am feeling much better for it.  I can't swear I will do much now that I am awake, though I have a small list.  First, though, coffee.  Oh, and I now check the driveway first thing.  Thankfully it was clear.

My friend asked, as we were talking before I left, if the temps had just dropped.  I answered him honestly, I didn't think so.  When I returned home, however, I noticed that some ice here and there on the drive and sidewalks, and icicles, had been thawing but were now in the process of freezing again.  A minor but noticeable thaw, so yes, he was actually right.  Not a huge shift, just a few degrees above to a few degrees below freezing.  I'll let him know next time I see him.

I plan to go in Monday.  I have business to do that day as well.  Some on the phone, some in person.  After that, I'll take a few movies over, and my popcorn maker.  I asked if he had the stomach for more intense shows.  He said he could handle Saving Private Ryan.  I suppose that makes him, generally... fairly hardy that way.  Still...  Well, I'll take a few, allow him to pick and choose.  I have a select grouping that suits my nature.  Some of it is much more... ideal than functional, but it's in there.  Some of it is much more literal.

I do feel fairly good.  A bit tired, not quite perfectly medicated quite yet, just off if not terribly.  I'll keep at it.  I still love that I have been able to, mostly, keep up on shoveling.  When I miss, don't think I'm picking or choosing.  Probably just not able to even be aware that the sky has left a little white poop on my stoop.  :p  I know the shoveling has gotten me fitter, tightened up some muscle areas, and just been a pleasure.  Nothing like plugging away as one can.  I'm not dead yet, not fully.

On with my day.  Later.

A bit of a push.

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I thought I could just sweep the drive.  There was too much snow.  Mostly fluff again, between and inch and two, closer to the second mark, maybe over.  Shoveling wasn't too bad.  I hit the frontage area a bit again.  I really am enjoying, if I am not always aware enough to keep right on top of it.  Though is it awareness or function that is missing?  I run until I run down, then I zone out and off.

I wasn't finished with the shoveling.  I called my friend to see about this or that.  I needed to do shopping, buy a shovel, stop and the post office, and just get out.  He needed shopping.  Lunch was just a part of the deal.  I'm stocked up on milk and cream, plus a few extras.  I overate by eating twice in town.  Since I was in so long I figured it would be good to stack in some calories for the recovery.  Yeah, I haven't ever quite recovered from the heavy snow time.  I keep adding to the deficit.  Then again, that might just get me where I want to be, over the hump.  I still think if I can suffer past being out of shape, and work a bit further yet, I might have a chance at... some kind of life.  Doctors think I should do something, but not too much.  And, if I were normal, I think they would be right.

Anyway, it was a good day.  I got everything I intended, and more.  A few prayers of gratitude these last few days, and weeks.  Oh, and a lot of people on my prayer lists, near and far, family, friends, and associates.  Plus the rest of the usual suspects, of good and even ill.  Who needs prayer more than those who don't even seem to know?  That doesn't mean I won't do what I have to do if needed.  Just... I'd rather do so in a clean nature.  Oh... well... a quart of milk then a nap?  Yeah, maybe.  Later.

Food, medicine, all else.

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Hit and miss.  Yeah, I know, I know, I do.  It doesn't matter.  Want, wish, push, try, arrange...  Either it works or it doesn't.  Thankfully, to point, it isn't fatal.  It will be, or something will be, eventually.  But then, for a thousand and one reasons, I'm already here on and impossible lend-lease program.

I've been thinking about secular notions of God, heaven, hell, and else lately.  Movies, such as Constantine, and shows such as Supernatural, give very short shrift to the writings and teachings out there.  Definitely of Judaeo-Christian understandings.  Then again, in a world of female Christian ministers, politically correct sins, and all else, it's difficult to take anything seriously.  No church hasn't been infected, if that has always been the case.  The depth of the infection is quite serious these days.  It even seems to be that the church is trying to play kingmaker among the worldly, and join in worldliness.  The church keeps forgetting, the world will not suffer it no matter what it does.  Putting it's head in a noose will not win it any favors, only death for those who do and some who don't go along.

Sins aren't something that can be ignored or simply gotten past.  You really need to know what your sins are and learn how to release them both from your life, and their stain from your soul.  You will not enter heaven with the taint of sin.  While Christ can release that, you have to let Him, and have to know what they are.  It amazes me how many people think one thing is a sin while another thing that is not a sin is hate-worthy.  There is the notion of causing a scandal.  The only thing you can do in that situation is to turn your back on someone.  If you are a right Christian, you have a good reason to turn your back on most of the world, including many who claim to be Christians.  Do it too much and you will find yourself alone, on a hill, praying for the end.  I don't think that is quite where to go either.  So, where is the medium, the right place between total involvement and total isolation?  I don't know that.  I just slog through, doing my best.  Heaven knows, I'm definitely facing a lot of backs, some from the Christian world, many from the non-Christian world.  I'm good with that, too.  I am, and live, as I find to be right.  I fail, I fall, and I get back up, with God's and his children's help.  Always amazes me what a kind or right (even corrective) word can do.

Anyway... I'll keep at it.  Perhaps the cold, or serious lack of sun lately, has me a bit off.  Or maybe it's meds, or food, or... a mix of it all.  No worries.  I'm not in pain, I seem to get just enough, I smile and laugh, feel and pray.  It's not bad, it's just not optimal.  If I could get to some cleaning I'd be really happy.  Though, on that, I... think it's a man thing.  We have no clean- sort- straighten- foos.  Shovel?  Sure.  Dig?  Perhaps.  Move things about?  Okay.  Figure out domestic neatness and cleanliness?  At least I become more like a cat a little too close to a vacuum cleaner.  Then I start looking for a dark place to hide and nap.  Even in the Navy, it was slop mop as fast as possible, pour on the other goop, go hide until it dries, then try to forget it ever happened.  Well, and hope one of your "friends" or enemies doesn't decided to strip the wax by wedging your door so you can't stop them, then sliding a paper bag full of shaving cream under your door and stomping on it... the shaving cream destroying the wax coating.  Yeah.  I liked some parts of the Navy.  And payback.

Later.

Nothing but fluff.

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It was as it seemed.  Still, I was a bit afraid.  That wasn't what kept me from going out.  I simply couldn't get out until I did.  It was on my mind the whole time though.  I have done well.  Still, I fear next time there is a real challenge I might not be up for it.  This one took merely a broom.  I need to get a new shop broom, and some bolts.  The one I have has lost the bolts on both sides, so only the handle sort of holds it all together.  Yeah, another one and two more bolts to fix this one, and it should be good again.  It worked though.  Much of it had blown off, or perhaps some of it melted/dehydtrated off?  Not sure.  Only about two thirds of the drive and half of the sidewalk needed sweeping.

Now for some food!  I am hungry.  Hunger comes and goes.  Some days I could and do eat anything and everything, if usually, or often enough anyway, I can't bring myself to eat.  Today is an eat day.  Oh, and it is cooler out there.  It is just above 0 F.  There is a bit of a breeze too, or it seemed like it.  All good by me, I like it a bit cooler.

Later.

Hungry.

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I've been thinking about flying for takeout.  I have to do the driveway first.  If I don't do takeout, then I need to shower.  All I know is that I am very hungry.  Later.

Cold, a bit more snow, changing schedules.

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Nothing major.  It has been below freezing for some number of days now, to the best of my ability to notice.  How can I tell since I haven't been checking the readings?  Icicles have collected and stayed, lots of them.  The furnace and how the attics work creates just enough heat to cause some flow.  If it stays cold, those icicles simply collect and grow.  As well, just the feel of it.  Oh, I don't mind the cold.  It's as good for me as the heat is for some older folks.

More snow has fallen.  I think I can get to it, probably later today.  It isn't too much.  And, if I am right and it has been cold, it won't be too much fuss to remove.  I can't be sure when it arrived, I lost track a bit.  All good though.  Seriously, looking forward to it.  I think.

And, while I'm at it, I am trying to work my schedule back around to days.  When it is cold, consistently... when it is dark, if the last few days have been brighter, and when this and that?  My schedule can spin like a prop on an old plain.  No worries, I just keep at it, keep trying, keep going, or rest until I can do those things.  All good.  Later... or actually good night.  I'll try to hit noon, then crash.  Hmm, don't think I'll make noon, but 10:30 isn't too bad, I guess.  Yeah, good "night".

Sort of sad.

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So many politi-blogs are proving they are exactly what they have been saying they were fighting.  They are bought and paid political hacks.  They choose their side based on who is paying the best or who will support those who support them, not on what is right.  It is absolutely obvious.

The hate poured on Trump is often nothing more than the fact that he won't promise to handcuff himself to politics as usual, status quo.  He won't give typical Republican "friends" the friends discount.  Nor will he agree to work with Dems on the big ticket items that we (the elite) know we need, such as an immigration invasion, the spending of tax money for everything and anything, though the more useless the expenditure the seeming better (again, according to elites).  The elites discussed aren't even American.  American fat-cats are given no more credence than we are.  No, the ones who own the parties are the multi-national mega-corporations.  They aren't our friends, they aren't anybodies friends.  They are out to take every nickle and dime even if it murders nations, morality, etc.  Actually, I think that is part of their game.  One church, but a dead one.  One nation, but one that simply operates for the good of the elites.  One currency, but in an economy that is a zombie.

It is plain to see.  Any "conservative" site that is pro-amnesty, pro-open border, is not pro-American.  Any group that uses zombie "pro-life" groups who have not succeeded in anything, except sucking money from suckers, and using other religious groups to lead as a pied piper... not good.  It's plain.  Easy to spot.

While you can't put much stock in politics, if you can't put any in it, you are in trouble.  We will see how this works out.  But it's not looking good.  You hear Americans barking about the immigration war in Europe.  Most don't seem to realize we have more here.  Further, our government refuses to even examine how many are actually even here.  More than Europe, how many more is anybody's guess.  Pointing fingers while blindfolded, with earplugs, and an attitude when anyone points out the truth.  Yeah, we will see how this works.

Why Trump?  He is the only one who even offers to shut the border.  His two closest competitors are from the demographic that would be targeted.  And you wonder why we have problems?  Imagine if Europeans were voting for muslims.  Yeah, that is what we have here.  And still they point and rant about Europe?

Later.

Well, some of it.

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Trash out, and recycling if I am not sure that goes today.  Still, just in case, and because I may be crashing shortly.  A shower last evening, then dishes to soak.  The laundry is about to pass through, though I had to break it up into two loads for the dryer.  Some clothes were still in the dryer from... who knows.  They were dry, though, so all good.  It's having wet clothes anywhere that can be a problem.  Bits and pieces, but my days and nights are still off.  Oh, and yeah... I get some of my medicine down and lose track of the other.  I'm... right on that.  I think I am just one shift off, so I might be able to get that righted before it gets too wrong.

It's as good as it gets for now.  I'll keep at it.  Later, or more likely good "night".

Interesting song.

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False, in it's final analysis, but interesting.

It won't be by holding hands.  Each, on our own.  Some have not been allowed to go, others who have not wished to go have gone.  On our own, alone, each of us.  The only place you can go as a group, the only place you can help others find, is the one place you don't want to find yourself.

Pretty rough still.

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It can't just be the medicines, can it?  Maybe.  I'm thinking probably not though.  My diet might have something to do with it, though that can't be all of it, or even a large portion.  Achy, headaches, temp fluctuation, flu-like but definitely not the flu.  Just not the right collection of extra symptoms.  Never mind.  I'll keep resting as I must, eating as I can, taking medicine, and praying.  Oh, right, and dark thoughts and dreams seem to be making their presence known.  I won't tell you there is any truth in there.  I will only tell you that I believe there is.

Having the devil want you in his club is a seriously bad thing.  What he seems to have on offer, however, is... well... anything worldly or of flesh.  Empty, dead, no matter how sexy seeming, addictive, or seeming wanted by the many.  Oh, trust me.  The grandest heaven he can offer truly is smaller than my pride, and I believe I will skip.  If I were to go that way I would eliminate the middle man, and don't think I'm not up to it.  At least an attempt.  Yeah.  I could and I will skip, just not in his direction.  I used to have it, anyway.  I'd rather be a gardener in heaven, or even a statue outside the gates if my kind aren't fully welcome.

Dark things in those dreams, visions, daydreams, and such.  And light too.  God is always there, if I ask.  And I do.  I hide nothing from Him, not even my worst.  I just show and ask.  Trust me, He knows what I don't dare tell you, and I tell you much.  Cool with it?  Nah.  But He does love me, and is patient.  More so than I, though that's not saying much.  Hmm... Not sure... something or other or good night... or day.  I just can't figure things out.

Better, a bit weak, and thoughts.

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Oh, I know.  I'm going to push tomorrow or Monday.  I am going to do some work this weekend yet, and get cleaned up.

Stretching and checking.

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Better?  I think so.  I've been awake for an hour or so, can't be absolutely sure, though I think I am going to be okay.  I probably need to take it slowly and not push for a few days, keep on medicine, and eat as properly as possible.  Other than that, I think I'll do it.  If this isn't a simple case of not being awake enough to know.

As I was waking, I remember what a lot of the problem has become.  Now, economic turmoil was caused by government and private malfeasance.  Have no doubt.  People and governments began betting on losers and rolling up the costs of their gambling into the cost of business.  To help paper over unsustainable losses, they began also stealing from the middle and lower classes through all sorts of government and private schemes, often working together against us, covering each other at our cost, and continuing to gamble.

However, they weren't the only ones.  Every government and large corporation, at this point, in every nation who could bandy coin to toss in the fires of gambling loss have played.  Shouldn't their be a "house", one that doesn't lose?  Well, yes, except they became just as hooked on gambling.  You can see how corruptions magnified at that point, can't you?

As resources, and real wealth, dwindled, shifted, and fought to escape those who tried to maintain it, an economic war broke out.  Allies and enemies switched as fast as a micro-current in a hurricane catches a leave and alters it's heading.  China was on our side, until they thought they would build a bank and market their currency, a currency unwisely allowed to be marked to our currency and for too long protected by that.  The oil states were making a killing on China undercutting our currency to produce as slaves.  When China decided to go their own way, they were shown that there is no other way, and the oil states were left with glut and are now choking on their alliances.

Now, no one is really on the side of the American middle class, not even itself.  It was, it seems allied with a bruiser of a mix of government and big business that has gambled and warred too much to leave them much of a cut and is continuing to rob them blind.  No amount of capitulation will help, those actors don't believe they need it.  And, if Americans keep voting as they have, those actors are right.  Yeah...  What a wake up call.  That is what I saw as I bumbled out of bed.

Still, don't really care.  No headache, no body aches, only slight oddities in body temp.  I'll work on working inside the cave, if I can, tonight.  A shower, in time.  Laundry, a load or three.  And dishes, if I can get on it.  Later.

Hopefully soon.

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Nothing I am doing is helping all that much.  Fever comes and goes, though no chills so it's just medicine.  Headache to migraine, if I did have more anacin and it does help, some.  Nausea, sleepiness, aches and pains.  While off medicine, I seemed to void liquid quite well anyway, however, without medicine there were no vitamins, and those are what keep my body from cramping when I void a great deal.  So, yes, cramping.  Mostly legs and arms, but tickles of that everywhere from time to time.

Sleep and waking has been... off kilter.  Three to eighteen hours, now and then, this and that.  It'll straighten out soon enough.  I am trying to use blogging, gaming, even watching movies, to attempt to straighten that out.  I simply don't have control.  Back to bed.  No real choice.  I'll be back up before too long, probably.  I'll keep on things as well as I may.  For now it's recovery mode.  Good day, and night.

Oh, and hey?  I'm about 200 to 250 pageviews from my all time high.  This will, in any case, be my second best month ever, at 2,446 pageviews so far.  Not bad for a mostly dead old ghost.  *grins*

I went back down pretty fast.

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I've been dodging the migraine.  Sleep, food, drink, whatever I think will work.  Too much, or little, food or drink, though sometimes right through sleep too, the pain finds me.  Usually it isn't so much of a problem, but this time it's really bugging me.  And, yeah, it's a migraine, not just a headache.  Light sensitivity, nausea, several types of pain, it's an ugly thing.  I am not beating it or escaping it, boys and girls.  That's just medicine start up pangs, I am pretty sure.  I'll make it through.  And, yes, I am continuing with medicine like clockwork.  I am having to switch the water pill around, but that is a minor thing and causes no real problems.  I'll take naps, eat, occasionally dose with anacin, whatever it takes... plus keep on the regimen.

Three calls today.  Which is odd.  I should have been awake for some, if not all, of them.  The phone was right near me.  Even when I am otherwise focused, or as some accuse lost in thought, the vibrate function usually causes enough stir that I sense it.  I really think my phone, out here, doesn't always connect through.  Perhaps later, after the call, it quietly slips in that someone called.  It's not even that I am that far out of town.  Perhaps plane comms interfere?  Perhaps towers are lowering their send, as they have found the waves are causing radiation poisoning, or something else?  I just know something isn't quite right, and I don't think it is a personal problem.  Maybe they are just going broke, having gambled the government largess they received for creating the networks, and overcharges to customers on top of it?  Economic problems are really showing up.  I feel, often, as if I am not getting what the service or product I believed I was paying to receive.  It's getting ugly out there and the state is on the .corp side.  Too big to fail, or jail, and to keep the trains running on time, and not hang anyone, they change the schedules on the fly.  Not just lies, damned lies and statistics.

Yeah, a bit grumpy.  For good reason on top of good reason.  If I could just get this migraine to back off for a bit things would smooth out.  If I will still note the failures around me.

Well...  Let me find if I have more anacin, take a smattering if so or something else, then get on with the evening... morning... as I may.  Later.

Up!

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Just trying to avoid the death cart.

I slept pretty well and must have been fairly deep and hard.  No major pains as I wake, just a few hinges that seem a little rusty, feeding a minor notion that a headache might get me.  Medicine in back on track, but with days and nights upended again, I am saving my water pills until the evening set with evenings being my mornings.  Otherwise I am up all "night".

As I was checking and using the defueling station this morning, I saw something strange.  While the windows in that area are frosted, it seemed as if the drive was clear.  I didn't think it was warm enough to have melted, and that wouldn't have happened.  For that to work it has to either be really warm, or that and have enough snow off for the blacktop to help the sun.  When I finished I investigated.  Nope.  The snow thieves were at it again!  Oh, I was quite grateful.  Bushed and a bit beaten, seeing no snow out there revitalized morale.  It is snowing again but I will be ready tonight or tomorrow to hit it... as soon as it seems to have stopped and when that and my function seem to coincide... or if it just keeps going, to get out ahead of it.  An amazing year this year.

I'll keep going.  And, maybe, if I can figure a few things out this summer, I'll get on track with mowing.  I really might try to figure out a riding mower with a plow attachment.  I'd love to add a deep tiller too, but...  I'll definitely look at a unit that has various options, from bagger to tiller to snow blade, bargaining what I want and need first, then making sure if I ever want the other things that they are available.  I just can't, otherwise, do heat.  Not that well.  So many things yet to do, I'm not sure.  I just know, sometimes, I might be able to pull it off.  And, if I am careful, the other things I might through time be able to afford to have done.

Later.

Not going to make it.

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I think I'm about to bank into bed.  I just can't stay up longer.  I did get a good day in.  Shopping, shoveling, more shoveling, more shoveling...  It does look like it stopped.  It does look like I took the vast majority off the top, or bottom actually.  I am amazed at what I did just today.  Somewhat surprised I didn't pop.  What with starting up meds, going through all that, going shopping (which was a bit of a big deal as I was doing it), then shoveling the driveway at least twice over?  Yeah, I sometimes wonder why I don't pop.  Meh.  I really have gotten away with much, in one sense.  All things are possible with God.

I am sort of feeling a bit on the rougher side.  Not as bad as this "morning", or even all "night".  More like just a really slim slice on the worse side of life.  Given all I suspect I earned it.  I'll take a shower, then leisurely dry, before getting on to the shoveling later today.  Maybe I'll get a load of laundry going after the shower.  We'll see.  I need to keep pushing.  I'm just not good at some things.  Good "night".

It looks like it has stopped.

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The snow that is.  What I shoveled puts me well ahead of the work.  And since I scooped the bit which had tracked over, I'm probably in a pretty good position to finish tomorrow.  I am not sure if I will be able to stay up until it is to be done, or will sleep before I can get to it again.  I am pretty sure I will get to it though.  I actually thanked God for the challenge.  The work, as the pain, is to His glory.

As I have slowly begun replacing my movie stock I am adding a few movies that either caught my eye, or I felt belonged in my collection.  Some I simply wasn't sure about.  Then again, any movie, foreign or domestic, really has to be reviewed.  I had been curious about Red Riding Hood.  Other than them sticking blacks into a German fairy tale, it wasn't too bad.  I've only seen the stock ending, there is an alt.  I'll see that next time I am wanting some down time of that sort.  There are a number of Catholic themed movies... though... coming from H-wood, that isn't always good.  Some seem to be indies, such as There Be Dragons, I think it was named.  I'm not sure about the movie, I think there were some serious flaws.  Though if it be true...  Well...  I suppose, in those times, when the only civil choice was socialism (fascism) or outright communism, foolishness abounded, even in the church and among priests.  Which seems to be returning.  When will they learn that populism and earth socialism/communism will only murder them and promote sin?

Anyway... I am slowly rebuilding my library, adding a few as well.  I simply can't remember what all I had given him to see.  As one can probably tell, my viewing habits have nothing to do with porn.  At worst, silly action.  At best, life stories of faith... though even those have to be closely scrutinized.  If they fail they will be removed or outright destroyed.

Pain remains.  It's not as bad as it was.  It ebbs and flows, heightens and diminishes.  I'm not sure pushing helps, but it doesn't seem to be causing extra intensity.  Meh.  I did say I dig through pain.  I just never quite thought shoveling snow literally was a way to do so.  *grins*  I might say the devil made me do it, but that isn't the Man's name at all.  The devil would have me rest on false laurels to my death, then chide me for it.  :p  Later.

Feeling better, so... Dig?

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Yep.

I was feeling just enough topped off by 21:00 or so that I decided to do a stealth shop and eat raid.  I need more to drink.  Milk, beer, soda.  I know, but my thirst is... well... when it's on it's on and water is not enough.  Tea, coffee, milk, water, beer, soda, drink mix, and etc.  I drink as if oceans were my floor.  Any one thing is not enough, it becomes annoying, cloying, harsh.  Water becomes painful, in the amounts my body demands.  Resistance is futile.  So it has been long before diabetes was diagnosed... or more properly misdiagnosed.  The Can't-Shoot-Straight gang is at it as usual.  Pick the lowest hanging peg and put your hat on it, then go fucking golfing.  Idiots.  Anyway...

So, I got out, and to town.  I got my fluid, got some food, and headed back.  As I started back it started to snow.  The closer I got to home, only a 23ish mile drive, the heavier the snowfall became.  By the time I got home, if all isn't always exactly as it seems, I ended up with two to three inches in the drive.  I did NOT want to drive on that, then have to scoop the tracks.  So I parked in the frontage area, but far enough in no one would (probably) sideswipe me.  Then I got to shoveling.  Dig, lad, dig.

And so, as I said, feeling better lead to me digging.  I have decided to fill in the blanks, as it seems some aren't very awake when they read here.  You are welcome.  I decided, at first, to just dig out the area I would need to drive on.  However, as I got going, I went ahead and hit the other area.  Then I realized the problem.  If I was to open up the drive area, I would have to let the other area go.  I hit it all twice before I realize I could not win.  So I finished the drive area, backed her in, unloaded groceries, then packed her into her berth.  Then I finished by clearing an area near the garage doors for the third time, then scooped the tracks from the Xterra... yes, by the time I scooped just the drive area there was already about an half inch or more that had fallen on the area I began.  I called it quits, for the night, after that.  Migraine, oh... it was better.  It's threatening again, but I think I shut down just in time.  Night meds might restart it anyway.

Heck of a thing.  Still, it's my lot, I'll stick with it until I am out of the game.  I'm not sure if bedtime is looming or has been pushed off by the double double time this night... shopping and shoveling in one go is a hell of a go boys and girls... especially for a man who is supposed to be dead.  *grins*  Later or good night.

Oh, but first...  I got a lot of negative psychic feedback about the last song of the last bunch.  How do you think Satan meant to muddy the bloodlines?  One way, several, many?  Legion, I tell you.  My way was but one, if probably a more powerful one as can be seen today.  Imagine if my kind was the singer, speaking to her spiritual grandfather and corrupter, not a man.  As with the assassination of Christ, Satan's attempt to corrupt the bloodlines has failed, and his legion, at least the strongest among them, have abandoned him.  There is a better way, a truth.  In the horror of the crucifixion of God and attempt at murdering the bloodline, there are beautiful things.  Just say no, boys and girls.  It's that easy, even for one born to, from, and in darkness.  So... there.  Though I think some of the rejection is that people don't want to think of the first song, and why sin is wrong and always goes wrong to worse.  Hate will not protect them when they cannot lie, this I know.  I have seen it, and believe.  The video is through his eyes, as he sees, or wishes, things.  Not as I see things.  Ask and yea shall receive, innit?

Dark days done.

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There was a time when darkness was what I knew.  It is what I shared for it was all I had.  Murder was on the minds of many of those around me.  A child of darkness, have no doubt.  And yet, even in those days, I had yet to choose.  My darkness was from my nature, not choice.  It was all I had to share, it was all I knew.