I wonder and sometimes worry. Herein lie those ponderings with perhaps some editing but still in their truer forms. Whisper as well, though in truth, whispers are just that, rustlings in the wind and nothing more. It is kind to not be alone with one's own whispers.
I am just not cooling down. I'll... have to do something else. More iced tea, a cooler spot, and reading? Yeah. It's going to be a rough night. I won't go to bed until I have things sorted. Later.
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I thought washing the per piece bits would be difficult. Being just new, not actually dirty, I found that using one of my bottle scrubbers was sufficient, efficient, and downright quick. So, I was washing away with a smile on my face. Then I took all of the 8 ounce containers and lids out to the counter. Put down towels, and began drying. And drying, and drying, and drying, and... Oh holy hell is that a fucknut of a job. Plastic, or this kind, seems to love water. Won't let go. I have to hurry, fading. But all of it? Yeah, no. So, after I got pretty close, I went to check something. If the lids are compatible, I don't have to mess with those. And those, oddly, are the worst to dry. A compatibility match has been established. And, yet, I still have to wash and dry a whole lot more containers.
No bending over this time. I pulled a chair over and am hitting it that way. Still, it's... a lot. A shower yet tonight? Maybe, but no bath. Washing the stock pots? Maybe. But I've got to tell you, I am well tuckered. I may only do one of the pots tonight, tucking the other in the fridge. Time, energy, reality. Ugh. I may be able to use the flash-freeze on my fridge-freezer to get the stock to freeze quickly. However, I would want to stay awake a few hours, as it's not recommended to use that for too long of a period. It will set, probably, in a couple of hours. On the bad side, I'd rather be in bed an hour ago. On the good side, if I stay up, I might get a few more things, like a shower, and the rest of the dishes.
My ribs are sore. Bending. Even with the chair. And adding to the last few weeks, and the times I simply bent all the way down and speed washed two or three loads of dishes. Pretty good for an old dead man. Seriously. Can't do it on call, or all the time, but I can impress. I'd wager against most men out there, and a dollar over. Then again, most men have surrendered.
I noticed, just today, that Mormons aren't necessarily politically against Trump, it's finances. Just as it is with the denominations and Catholic church. They have sold out America, all of them, and are bringing masses of muslims into small town settings. The government is paying big. Well, one more reason to not go to church, and I am ending a financial agreement. I won't pay the Catholic church, or any church, which betrays America. I have a good idea where that money, now, is really going. I won't help fund the destruction of small town America. They will have to become full-time government actors. Yeah... Done. Though now I see why they are against gun ownership now.
I need a bit of a break, then back to it. Hot work too, my water heater pushes to around 150 or 160, or that is where I have it set. Actually, one is lower, the other higher, to allow the water to move... or it sits and rusts more quickly. I only use hot when setting a soak of either kind, so... like I said, hot.
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I am rather exhausted. I haven't messed with the dishes, which means, shortly, I'll have to do a major push to get that done. Yeah. On the good side, when that is all done? I am finished with major projects for a bit. I have business to attend this week, medical, and some other. But nothing this involved, probably.
I tried the shirataki noodles, also known as miracle noodles, in with the meat from the stock. Okay. Where to start. I'll start with my part of the problem. When I tasted the meat, and it seemed seasoned and good enough? Yeah, I should have taken it then. It simply wasn't good. Too mushy, by a bit... by enough to not be tasty. Think... adult meat-based baby food. Yeah. No. The noodles? Well, it was a lot like eating nothing. I had some hope they would absorb the gravy. The gravy was actually good. And the beef tasted good, enough, it was the texture. So, two weird textures at once didn't help. As well, the noodles clumped. I have since heard that frying the noodles, after a good rinsing, then adding in the liquidy or gravy and frying a bit more, might be a better way to go, as to clumping. As to absorbing flavor? That just might not happen. I have enough to experiment with in an attempt to work out the kinks and get used to it. I would not recommend these unless you need them. What could be bad about zero carb noodles? Well? aside from what I wrote? It's a bit like eating a substantive nothing... it's... odd. Do what you have to do, though, I suppose.
Instead, a salad and a steak. It's not a bad trade-off. I just... wished I had made the first dish correctly. I'll take the blame, if there is some to be had, and attempt to fix the issues. Though sometimes dinner, with new things, just doesn't work out right. I, myself, am not worried about blame. Just fixing it, if possible. Steak is just about ready. I thought about mushrooms, but it just, I didn't... bleh. Good evening, perhaps good night. Yeah, I'll get the stock containers cleaned, and the stock put up, and the stock pots washed... I just may or may not have energy to write more.
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Not all of it done. One group of dishes is set to go. One wash, a rinse, then a partial drying for some, full for a small portion. Some that is fully dried to be put up, the broth containers to be partially dried then set out on towels. Then, though, another load of the bigger broth containers... should have done those first. When I was looking at them, though, it almost looked like there were no lids! In my panic, I grabbed one set, blindly, ripped it open, and did find lids. Then just put those in. Oh well.
The kefir was next. I have been trying to sort that out. I figured out the problem, if I didn't realize it until today. The last time I was switching it over I was required to give one of the jars extra attention. It turns out that made the kefir in that jar sweeter this time. When I popped it open, I realized that is what is required, and treated all of the other jars to the same. This next time, or the time after that, I should be happy enough with the kefir to put it back into functional food use. A bit of that, a bit of broth, and a bit of cream tea, per day. Not necessarily all on any given day. Broth, it is hoped, yes. The others may be switched day to day. I think, though, the kefir will be consumed before meals, the cream tea in the mornings. Strange sounding, perhaps, but there is reason in it. No reason for most, mind you. And, perhaps it will end up meaning nothing for me, either.
That doesn't sound like much work. It was. Especially since most of it was stooped over. My calves have a good burn again. Did twice or more yesterday, but then I'm not through today yet either. Bleh. I'm taking a break until I begin dinner. If the little bit of beef and noodles isn't enough, I do have a ribeye for tonight or tomorrow. Horrible, I know, innit? *grins* Oh, I'm thinking tonight. Though my eyes and stomach have been thinking they can have more than they can of late. We'll see. But... ribeye? I think it's actually a t-bone. Later.
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I wasn't, again, down until very late. Early if you prefer. Perhaps 2:30 or 3:00. As well, it was a busy day and busier week. I was sore and tired when I went down, I wanted to at least be rested when I woke. I could have gotten up at 6:00, 9:00, and noon, but kept waiting for something to feel better, right, good. It was 14:30 or so when I finally got up. Twelve hours? Okay. In my 9:00 foray into the cave, I turned off the burners for the stock. Even now it is just barely cool enough to even think about messing with. But it won't get that until I spend a couple of hours waking and then wash the containers. No clue how many it will take so I'll just wash them all, putting the extra somewhere until chicken stock is due.
I'll have a decent idea of how many it takes, give that they are 2 to 1 proportions, and knowing their volumes. A simple count and a little math will give me a rough number. So... I'll know whether more are needed or not. If even close to two thirds are used I'll buy another set. Most will be in the bigger containers... something like a 3:2 bigger to smaller, I should think. Might even go 3:1. I mostly use stock to drink, just using some, so far, for anything else. Though I have never had stock I trusted on hand. All bought stock is so full of at least salt, but usually other stuff. And much of it tastes... funny... in a chemical or bad way. Actually, I will probably use my homemade stock of any kind, for the first time in food, tonight. I am planning on using the remnant meat, some of those strange new noodles, plus stock and cream, in an attempt to make something like my mother's beef and noodles.
I am, as mentioned, still sore. Those pots are heavy, but not the real problem. In my rush to do things, sometimes I things at harsh angles. Or I flip the tub within a tub, which I use to wash dishes, when it is full of water, with speed. Or just shove it around when full of water and dishes. But at poor angles. I can wrestle a lot of mass for being an old dead man. But it isn't always wise to do so, especially when not in a good position. Still, I can, and if in a hurry I do. I have the strength of the feral, if it is nothing compared to what it once was. At 66 quarts, that is 16.5 gallons, times 8.344 gallons, that is 137.676, plus or minus dirty dishes (if it floats, it is lighter than water, and may displace enough water to make the whole lighter... potentially. Still, I would guess there is often as much as 20 pounds of dishes, at least. Or have been as I have been catching up. So... say... 160, to even it off. Moving that around with one arm, while in a near kneel, so as to open the faucet for other uses is... well... It can wrench things. Thankfully, being nearly a bear, it only wrenches things once in a while. And I am only in a damned fool hurry once in a while. Still, pretty fly for a dead guy.
No painkillers today. This is normal stuff, and just a few areas, and I actually like this kind of pain. It means I worked, it means I pushed my body, it means there is healing, repair, and maybe growth occurring. No, this I will keep. Though I am, mostly, resting today. An easy dinner... the meat is done, mushrooms are easy (will be baking the shiitake), all I have to do is rinse the replacement noodles, cook those (they cook much more quickly than regular noodles), put the ingredients together, and... done. I may take a shower, or a bath. Oh, I have been enjoying those. And the first new soap has arrived. I'll give it a try. I'll have to see how much is needed, and whether it is price prohibitive as well. You never can tell on these things until you try them. I just prefer liquid soap. Bars just... rot and get slimy and I hate them. I have never been able to keep on top of them, even when I do my best. Though, if all else fails, I will... go that way.
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It is a Friday, after a busy couple of weeks. I have been experimenting with food, medicine, supplements, and much else. Cooking and thinking about cooking, shopping, and figuring. I have a great deal to do in the next week or two as well. But, for now, for tonight, for the weekend, I will be slowing it down.
I split the stock between two equal sized pots. I was only able to fill one, so far, with revers osmosis water. Yeah, I use that for all cooking and water-based drinks, and ice if I make it at home. They add up to 72 quarts, but aren't that full. Perhaps eight tenths full, at max. Still, a goodly lot of water. My system only stores, what, like three gallons? Then goes to simple make-on-demand which is as slow as molasses in January. Actually, I think it is. It pretty much stopped. Or so close that I didn't bother. One pot is full, the other is half full? So... I'm up until I can fill the second one. Which is fine. I have the full one on the back burner, the burner that is tricky to control because it seems more powerful By the time I get the other pot full, and up to a simmer, then check that it is stable, I should have the finicky burner suited to that pot. Or I hope so.
By the way, the mushrooms had pretty much cooked out, I think? In any case, I decided they were done. I did try one. While the texture was fine, the flavor was... just not there. I suppose if I put put them in, then pulled them and seasoned them, and put them back to finish, they might work. Or they will just absorb grease. It might be a lost cause, but I would like to tinker with things to see about using those to add flavor, and yet saving the meat for other things. Maybe a lost cause but what do I have to lose?
I am hoping to get to bed by midnight. Who knows. I will sleep until I wake, maybe then some. Tired. I took off the compression socks for a brief respite, though will put them back on for the night. I have several more light compression, some heavy compression, and various open toe to try. Yeah. For daily and nightly I will need... enough. I have been using olive oil as a lotion. Most others I have tried burn. My skin is probably stressed on my feet. Improving, but it really got out of hand there for a bit. I will keep at it.
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Shopping, out, working on this and that, dealing with heat, learning to wash socks, going back on fasting, keeping up on medicine, cooking if no longer baking... if that might be changing. Keto diet baking, albeit. I just got coconut flour. Well? Yeah. That and some other items I have been collecting in order to experiment. Biscuits and gravy, that is carb light enough for keto? Flat bread too? I don't know. More, even if it works for keto, if it doesn't work with regards to blood sugar it is out.
Meatzza tonight. Which I shared out. Grapes too. I had a salad ready to go but no one was all that ready for more. I liked everything but the cheese. It wasn't terrible, it just wasn't my favorite. I love cheddar, and a few others. Though, true, I have started liking some well beyond my old limits. Stinky cheese. I may seek that, though a brie would work. I'm not looking to drop a Franklin, and I'm not sure what would work best. I'm not even sure who to ask. So few, anymore, eat these sorts of things. Afraid? Well... a little. But after overcoming brie as is, and cooked gorgonzola, I think I can, I think I can. I think brie would do well, I know gorgonzola would, but I would like to try something else. Why? I've only got so much time. More curiosity than luxury. Even if it kills me, I see to make it back.
My guests were curious about why I was still here. Was it a simple question, a doubt, or a wish otherwise? Oh, no worries, whichever. Many really would like to see me gone. As I told them, after an accident where I died, then three extremely serious attempts at ending my life, all right over a heart at levels that usually kill the owner within three years... I don't think it's... Well, it's not natural. And that doesn't leave much else. Honestly, I don't think Satan controls life, just the rulers of this world... within his limited capacity, and theirs. If it is unnatural, it is God's doing. Question it at your leisure. Oh, and I do believe others have tried to kill me. One way and others. Medical, women, family, even those who call themselves friend. I just suggested they not worry about that. If those dreams I have mean anything, a murdered passing will only happen so that I may act more freely. If God says no, as even I have learned, there is no way to cross that river.
I sometimes wonder if He hasn't caused suffering to keep me awake, and other illness to force me to focus. Not able to die, not quite able to live, but with suffering and some reasonable fear of darker things than death to keep me focused, while I barely live through dark times. Oddly, I am not worried. Oh, a jump start from time to time, if I nodded off and then ran into trouble. Some of those who would murder me would do it out of compassion. But that is a terrible mistake that will lead to genocide on a scale never seen. Imagine if every hospital around the globe began deciding, by some algorithm, whether any particular human's life was considered worth living, and then started eliminating those deemed... too damaged... for their own good. Too old? Too short? Too fat? Too sick? Too many illnesses? No children? Too many children? Unfriendly to government? Compassionate, quick, merciful. It will, then, either go against blacks, or whites, or... whoever isn't locally favored, or who is anyway if the other side runs things. You can keep your compassion.
I have been letting the stock cool since before dinner. I will be taking the bones out. I did buy extra mushrooms tonight, adding some of those. Not sure if they will be at all useful after an afternoon of simmering. Curious to find out. And I may dice more in, split between the pots. No more dishes tonight... Just too tired. When I wake, I will turn off the burners and let them cool, while I clean the containers, eventually. It won't be a race, I'm sure of that. Later. Maybe good night.
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To the post office. Wasn't sure I'd make it. Just in the nick of time. There were supposed to be several packages in, but the one that was most important was there. I thought I'd just return home. Upon further reflection, as I tuned the ignition key, I realized that, time and me being what we are, that either I go or scrub the notion. As well, while quite warm at noon, it would only get hotter through the day. So... I went.
In looking for pepperoni, I looked online. Amazon, for example, had... four boxes for $25(ish). That... seemed mighty steep, but then I hadn't priced them in stores. Oh, it wasn't a luxury brand, mind you, just... mainstream commercial... hormel's I believe. Wow. In the store? those four boxes for, say, $5 and change. I only looked online because I was having such poor luck finding them in the stores. Me? Temp outages? Not sure. I found them today, in stock and many varieties. I grabbed a number of brands and will rate them as I eat them. To be honest I do not expect a great difference. Still, you never know until you try... and prices were close enough. How common any is, is another thing entirely.
I got all my needs, and tried to keep it small. Even so, $100. But that has enough goods to finish off meals for a week, probably two, with all else.
In the checkout aisle, an attractive, fit, woman was behind me. Initially she seemed, how to put it... frigid. No skin off my nose, nor worry. As I was bantering with the clerk, and another woman who arrived for a price check, then to bag, and ended up with questions about kale, the woman behind me... seemed to have forgotten her scorn and... enjoined in spirit... almost nodding when appropriate, or smiling when that was correct. I noticed lightly, trying not to intrude. Though, eventually, I slipped and really noticed. A smiling attractive woman is... more attractive by heaps... and I am only a man. She, then, remembered that, I suppose, I am, to women, or certain women, a person non gratis. And went a bit stony again. Still, while she could present the face, she couldn't offer that in tongue or spirit, not minding having to wait, even on a hot day, even a bit just for the banter... to finish a few topics. Reminded me of a scene from a movie... only think nice looking blonde dame.
I have everything ready for meatzza, plus salad fixings and grapes. I am having guests for dinner. Well, not FOR dinner, to dinner? Unless a steer can be considered a guest? No bull? That goes in at about 5:30. The lettuce has already been shredded, cherry tomatoes and all washed, and bagged in the reefer until time, as with the grapes. And a gallon of milk, fresh as I could get, is ready to be spilled for the drink of the night.
Not bad. Wasn't sure I'd be able to pull much off. I am ready for the weekend, if my day isn't quite done. Even after the meal, I need to at least pull the bones from the stock, split the stock into two big pots, and either keep it going until morning, then let it cool as I wash the containers, or... No "or". That IS what I have to do. I've been pushing. That is fine. But not tonight, or even this weekend. I will do that, and maybe extra cleaning beyond all of that. Sunday I am going to staple my butt to a chair. For God's sake. No pun, may He strike me down otherwise. Well, no pun right 'chere. There might be puns almost anywhere else. And worse.
Iced tea, more soon, and a rest until 5:15. Then just putting it together, puttting it in at the right time, and then timing it out and layering at the right time. Later.
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Crazy, in some ways, but not uncommon. For as worn and sleepy as I had become I could not sleep until well into the morning. It was around 3:30 before I finally could relax enough to go on to bed. But boy was it good. Sleep was as a drink of cool water after a long hot stretch with nary but thought of quench. No complaints, just the facts. Some aches and pains, perhaps some over-the-counters this morning. They are mild, but I am tired to boot, amplifying. Would probably wake through some or most of them, but... *gulp* Sometimes I just don't want to negotiate, set aside, or live with it, on the milder side, if not somehow enforced or required. Usually I just take it, not always.
To the post office? Grocery shopping? Well, yeah, maybe. Just a few things, milk, cream, a few meatzza toppings. Cheese is getting low, though I am not sure I will go with pepper-jack again. I really never did get much sense of any real flavor to it. Perhaps if it was sliced? A decent brand, if not a foodie brand. I avoid the high and the low as often as I may, unless the highest quality and middling are priced similarly, are as easy one to the other to find, and I actually like the haute better... not always the case. I may be attempting to be frugal, but frugal does not mean cheap. Knowing when and where and how to cut corners means, perhaps, much better main ingredients and easier on the soft elements, or even just less but better quality. Now, more, with an eye to actual nutrition as well. Though I have to tell you, I am all left thumbs when it comes to balancing these things, figuring them out, and such. Still, that is my lot should I wish to extend my life. Which I do, within reason.
I wore compression socks last night. It was an excellent night to test, as I have been feeling unnaturally warm lately. So, if there was going to be a night that was uncomfortable, last night would be it. I haven't had this sensation in months, if too, this is nowhere near as bad as it was when carbs were regularly and strongly on the menu, even to straight sugars. I had no difficulty at all. Further, voiding was pretty powerful. And, for some time, until I can get water under control (again, yes, I have had it that way, and yes, it will go back), which will happen when I lower insulin (which I was doing until potassium became an issue), which will lower my thirst. I will continue to attempt to drink less, but this is a desert, I am ill, and all that other jazz. But, yes, I can wear socks at night too. I will choose lower compression, 15-22 rather than 20-30mg. Unless things get worse. I do consider these short term items. I have fixed these things before, but wasn't in a state of mind to keep them fixed. This time I am. One thing at a time, insulin first, the rest seems to follow.
I have been living on the tightrope of life for longer than most truly understand they will, one day, die. Those under thirty haven't quite figured that out yet. A shot, or two, or dozen, over the bow... but it just isn't real quite yet. Them, not me. I know that siren's call.
Oh, blood sugar last evening, several hours after dinner, was 180. This morning, fasting, it is 219. Good morning and day.
An half hour and I should be able to go to bed. Ran into a crazy song I used to like. Then thought of some of the others I used to listen to on the radio. Are there still radio stations? Just a question. Anyway... I couldn't find all that I sought... sometimes there isn't more than melody, or a few words not even always verbatim. A newer song, too, though even it has dust an inch thick on it's history, being older than college kids? Maybe. Still, it's... well, okay, I don't think it is even from this century... couldn't be. I don't think. Yeah. Enjoy a little toss back, then a full throw back, into time.
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I got everything completed. And, when I was finished pulling bone and meat, separating what was kept and what was thrown, then organizing it all back and set on the burner, I cleaned everything up. Well, everything I had used. I will be splitting the bones and stock between two pots tomorrow, then running those until the evening. Yeah, there was enough for two stock pots of stock. I just realized... when the containers get here, the 8 and 16 ounce containers I ordered? I have to wash all those first. Bleh. So be it. I'll be good in stock for a hefty time. Even so I would like to do chicken stock mid-month next month. I like having both kings. No, no vegetarian stock will be found in my larder. For various reasons. Though, if I could afford fish and seafood, I would start reserving the remnants for fish stock.
Quite a week and it isn't quite done. A minor feast tomorrow is to be prepared. No longpig, though meat pie is the order of the day. *grins* Still, I may be shy an ingredient or three, and in need of a visit to the grocer in any case. I buy milk by the six-pack. If only. I suppose most can't handle six gallons. Then again I would be more wrestling than not, such a thing, myself. It's the idea, on some things, that counts.
Ah, the meat from the oxtail... I almost cooked it too long. Next time shorter. All good, live and learn. Still, it reminds me of what my mother used to make, for beef and noodle. While I can't have noodle, not egg wheat, or wheat really, I have some replacements which would be wonderful to try. A bit of the broth, some cream, the beef, and those faux noodles. If they are at least okay the rest will carry. Not tomorrow, Saturday. I'll give a full review on the noodles. I have been told you have to wash them... until the fishy smell is gone. Doesn't sound promising, but if a little woman can do it? Not always. One word. Dilate. Can't. Won't. End of thought processes. Still, noodles? Maybe.
Yeah, I can write. I have time. Waiting for the brew to come up to a boil, then a simmer, and then I have to check it for an half hour after I get it where I think I want it. Bleh. Still, I'll quit yammering. Are your eyes bleeding yet? At least it's not your ears. Yeah... I talk almost his much. Sometimes. Later or good night.
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Okay, I had intended to do the dishes, sort the stock, and take a shower before going to bed. But? But nothing. Sure, tinkering with the machine to get it to function, as poorly as it would initially, then tinkering until finding a resolution... all of that set me back, oh, three or four hours? I was multi-tasking, a bit, though. Still, at least two hours off my course, maybe more.
Dishes are finished. Well, some have been lightly dried then set to air dry. But glass and steel have all been dried and put up. Plastic containers are difficult to clean to clear. The broth is still cooling, perhaps another hour, which means a shower will be no skin off my sleeping nose.
More? As I said, I realized security was required. With amazon down... well and I wanted a new gasket for the pressure cooker. So, when that was back up, I went shopping. I also found a new pressure valve for the pressure cooker, in case it isn't just the seal, or the seal at all. I don't know if it will work. I've got two problems with the pressure cooker. The first is that the instructions always suggest far too little water. Okay, which is fine, I usually watch well enough that I can catch it before bad things happen. However, that really isn't cool, and will still kill the gasket, or cause problems elsewhere. It's not built to be a smoker. So, yeah, I have internet security up and running, and a gasket and replacement pressure valve on the way. I love pressure cookers, but... damned things sometimes.
How's that for a day of rest? You have no idea how much I have done in these last too weeks, sometimes easily, but in these last two or three days seeming having to step over my broken body to do it. All good. I do try to rest more when needed, or nap. I am trying to pay attention and rest as I can. I just... I am with wind. Wind walking through improbability. And doing well, if still so very far behind. Though, finally, I really am close to being ahead on dishes. And staying well ahead. I got behind, actually, with my initial ankle swelling and never caught up while fasting. Now, almost. Then to begin really tearing into the kitchen. And the rest of the cave. Maybe a commercial dumpster to simply clear and clean down to nubs... It might be the only way.
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Faster this time than last. Last time, though, only one thing happened. While that did happen, something else happened this time. As I mentioned, my security software had been updated for three years, without my involvement. That, after the comment, went to zero. What else was changed? I wondered if it wasn't something simple. And it was. The date on my computer had been changed to 2020, the year. So... everything was out of date. Is it all back? Some of it seemed to be, some of it not. A reboot seems to have everything back on track.
I did ask the proprietor if he might have tinkered. I don't know, but his response was good enough. Hey, I'm a simple man. An angry, perhaps brutish, simple man. But If I have a doubt, I spit it out. If it's worth spitting out. Or at least if I think it is. And I did, so I did.
Whatevs. I'd still like to find who did that. I probably wouldn't even hurt them. Probably. I'd put them to work making the computer more secure in leu of a couple of fingers, an ear, or... some other snack. *grins*
Oh, right... on to dishes, then the stock, then... another shower? Oh, why, certainly! I love a shower toward the end of the day, and at the beginning. Sometimes in the middle. If I had the energy, I'd shower at least twice a day, or bath, one of those each day. Hmm... A shower tonight and a bath tomorrow? I think just maybe. What a day. A bit of music, to settle my bones, first. Later.
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Not sure if it is the computer mess, the work load of late, the sense of being too hot, or something else. I finished the cabbage fry and the little bit of roast that was left. I had heated the pan in prep to begin cooking. I simply am no longer hungry. Full. I may have a quarter cup of sunflower seeds in a bit, mostly just for potassium. And, because I think I should eat.
I'm not sure what I am going to do about the computer. I can't really fix it. I can limp by without youtube. I might find a more direct path to this site, in time. I guess I can just quit amazon. I won't buy a win 8 or newer machine. I do have the parts and software for a win 7 machine, though I am not sure either will work anymore either. I suspect that whoever hacked is on to my address and will attack anything I put on. May have to go with a different server, at least long enough to force a new addy from the better service provider. Unless something else has happened as well. Perhaps Pale Moon and Iron (Chrome derivative) are broken now... for not complying? Or maybe in complying they broke something on my machine? Though I could easily, as far as I know, be tracked from this blog to any new web address? It's gone to hell out there.
Everyone and everything is in a hurry to surrender to globalists, I guess. And they are all doing it, one way or another, politicians, businesses, governments, banks, diplomats. I'm not sure if this is part of it or... just a hack and chop in one fell blow. Too old to learn these things, and I don't think it would matter. I don't think you can defend from these things.
I'll do the dishes, then check the stock to see if it's ready to strain. I put the little fridge back in action and put the stock in it, in the hopes of it cooling enough to more easily handle the bones and strip the meat. Dishes should be easy, then a quick rinse, drying, and away. I think I can get it all done before starting on the stock. I'll be ready for bed after that... well... after that, then seeing the broth back to a low simmer. Later, perhaps good night.
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Not sure... I am having to do a lot of work-arounds to get to blogger to post. It took... an hour or two just to figure out how to get anywhere. I wasn't, at first, sure if this was some sort of massive attack against google, youtube, and gmail, or if my machine had simply been attacked and messed up. It seems the latter. I was doing this and that, watching vids, then went to the restroom. I returned to a crashed machine. Not unusual, so I reset, then attempted to get online. Initially it looked like I couldn't get to any of the sites I wished to visit. And, as I said, once I figured out how to get through, getting around to, say, posting that comment first, then this, was tricky. Still is.
Not that they generally go after nobodies, save for zombie attacks (if
they still do that... is that too 21st century?), but when they do...
just how safe is even the most suspicious regular joe? I sort of think
we are toast, starts with governments and big corps, who actually often
work together, but then the employees learn the back doors and use them
or sell the knowledge. Imagine even an underpaid* employee at a
software security suite company?
Now, here is something I have
never had happen. Does it mean they like me, or... Anyway... my
security software dated out. I bought a different one. But between
frustration with this and that, and illness, I never did install the new
software. Finally, a couple months after the expiration, and that I
was told in emails and pop-ups... which everything on my machine is set
to block, that I was out of time and no longer protected? I decided
to... see what could be done... after all that had ceased for a couple
of weeks... or a month... or two. I'm... right on things sometimes.
It
turns out? Somehow, I am now protected for three years. So... someone
had to hack on and sign up the protection. I promise I didn't, and I
promise I was out. No charges. Go figure.
I suppose I suspect why, though I hadn't really thought of it. As I mentioned in a retort, a simply request to leave would have been fine. Oh, and yes, the addition to the security suite disappeared. Might have been a favor, just not done well.
I am not sure what... I can do about this. I had hoped to go to amazon, to order a security suite I could simply download. But the amazon site on both of my browsers is unusable. Yeah. Well, I was correct, no chance at all. I wonder if, through the link, it can be shown that the blog owner or someone from that site did hack my machine, that they could be prosecuted. Heck, it's probably even across state lines. A federal? Not if they are .gov tools, or favored "people". Though... maybe anyway. I just don't know, or how that would be proven. This election cycle has sure brought it out. This is actually the second site where either the proprietor or visitors have seen it fit to hack my machine. Just request I not return. It's quite simple.
As to other things? Dishes have been done, though they need another washing. So they have been set to another sudsy soak. I am working on the pressure cooker lid and pressure device. It doesn't seem to be working right. Yeah, you aren't supposed to do that, but I have to check on it. It seems to be working. Simply by getting a lung-full, and blowing, at the various settings, I get air through... the higher pressure takes more, of course. I have cleaned out the area, and am soaking the device itself in very hot water. I'll clean it as well as I can, testing when finished, then when I think it is truly dry. I had meant to order more gaskets, as I think this one is shot if nothing else... but... no amazon! Thanks you fucknut. As I said, if that was a favor, it was a lousy way to do it.
Oh, the broth is cooling. I should be able to put that through a strainer, pulling the hogs feet, in another hour or two. Oh! And it's dinnertime. Past dinnertime, though not beyond the window. I have something small, just needing some heat, then I'll make another sort of cabbage and beef. I wont' get fancy with it, just... rough, if smaller than yesterday, chop, and... actually I'll fry the hamburger first, then add the large dices of cabbage. But green or red? You know, I don't even know if their is a carb difference? Crazy, but maybe they are the same, maybe they are very different. It's odd how that works out sometimes. Hmm... hungry. Later. Assuming I can get back on, and then in.
Why not so upset? Ah, they have been hacking me since... since I started. The left, and some of the "right"... I'm not sure if it's hate, power, inability to deal with reality? Or just looking for war, but not quite with reason, so attacking anyone who disagrees, and being right nasty about it. Can't handle disagreement or debate. They will get what they want, and here or there, they will pay. Not a curse, a known.
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Sometimes I work because I can. It's a joy, truly. So often I simply cannot work. I sit. I want to work, I want to play, I want to hike, swim, climb. Anything. But I just sit. Nothing I can literally do about it. So, when I can work, as I mentioned, it is a gift. I am a bit beyond being able to work. For some strange reason it feels as if I have to work. I think that is my natural inclination, I just don't have the health for it. This is newer territory for me, so I am not sure what to expect, why it happens, how to shut it down if need be, and such. It's a little spooky. I suppose if someone took speed it would be like this? I simply don't have any experience with that. Now, like I said, I used to push like this. But that was so long ago, a lifetime ago. Actually more than one lifetimes ago, if you count each death, much more so if you count the should-have-beens.
A short nap. Good, restful, done. I almost rolled in, closed the eyes, then they popped open and I was on to checking the pot, then doing some dishes, testing the socks... which finally seemed dry enough so I sorted and arranged those. A bit of a sit, then back to this and that in the kitchen. So many little things, not really a full job per, though together they could easily add up to several medium daily tasks. I am still sore and a bit tired, I would almost prefer to back it down a bit. And, yet, if it keeps up, I'll... step up to a degree. I need to watch, just... to be on the safe side. Though I think it's good, so far. I am simply not used to going this far into tired and sore. The deeper I go, the deeper I may be able to go next time. I don't think I will ever quite fully be able to walk all the way out of it. Age and health are realities. And, really, just where I am at considering my health and deaths over that? I am already well beyond a miracle. Of course, who wishes to be a miserably pained miracle? :p Oh, I'll take it. I was shown the worth. Continuing isn't just a duty, it's a testament. Maybe the only one those without eyes to see or ears to hear can understand. If they only will.
I did taste some of the meat. I had to, in order to decide if I would keep that meat. There were several reasons to check it. As it turns out, the meat will stay. My seasoning of it, as with the chuck roast, is very mild, but enough. Exactly what I wanted from it. That will make a better stew meat. That first batch was simply terrible without having had any salt or other spices at all. It was simply no use. It is a great pleasure to double use the meat. Oh... I suppose I best begin cooling the pot and contents down. I will be taking out the pork feet and pulling the beef meat out before too long. I won't be using pig trotters again, in beef. The bones and meat available will suffice. One more thing... I am fasting, so wasn't sure about tasting the meat. But I really felt the need to do it now. Purely for culinary purposes, seriously. Right or wrong, that was my honest assessment. Anyway, this time, rather than wondering if I would go ravenous as I did last time, I decided I wouldn't. And, after the tasting, if there was a mild urge to feast, I... steadied out. Not sure I can do that every time. But I have a better method than just hoping. Being a fasting chef is tricky business fellow children.
I might even get that load of dishes washed, and set to rinse or another soapy soak. Sometimes they just need extra time and care. Especially if something really tacky *cough ~ balsamic reduction ~ cough* is left to dry. Yeah, well... I'm a man. M A N. It's how we do dishes. Or is it ogre? Hey! Pressure sprayer, that can handle hot sudsy! You know... I've always wanted one of those. Later.
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I'm burning up from working, so really need to take some time down.
I got most of the rest of the dishes together and into a soak. The pressure cooker and another pot I had used were soaked separately for size, but also that the pressure cooker had burned bleh in the bottom. I then cleaned off the freezer top, that is my counter. I may end up getting my real counters clean. I don't use them as they are too short and, with the cabinets, I don't have a way to use them well or fully. I wondered why I hated them, until I got the freezer and that nice, big, area upon which to work that was another few inches taller? Or at least no cabinets with which to contend.
I would keep working but I really... the heat. I think that is a combination of things. Thankfully, in truth, weather-wise, it is overcast and cooler. No more pasta, if that is only part of the problem. A massive simmering pot doesn't help either. I tolerated the last two quite well, so... not sure that is it. A headache, I think from pushing too hard and fast last night. I'll take anacin, if I'm not sure it will do any good. Yeah, and some bone stock and cream. I don't need anything, but it might not hurt. Electrolytes... I'm always short on those.
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I am not staying on top of some things as I should. Though some of it is not a choice. The doc called Monday, I believe. Wanted me to call back. I called yesterday, no answer, left a message, no call back. I called in and made contact today. Front desk sent me elsewhere, the nurse? Dunno. Doc is out of town, so... He hadn't left any notes. I was going to take the drivers license thing in but he is out of town, no use today. I could do some shopping, but I am tired and worn. I will wait until I know whether I should even bring the paperwork in. I don't know if he will sign off.
Blood sugar was 240 today, just a bit higher. Fasting begins today, just daily mind you. I am hoping that will help. Moving into that more slowly this time, didn't like that problem from last time. Still, I certainly liked having my blood sugar go down to almost normal. And the fasting really isn't bad. It's... actually pretty good. Then again, while not officially keto, I think I was pretty close. What about carnivore do you not understand. The only reason I never quite keto'ed is because I would have bread, or something sweet, or pasta, often enough that it would break the cycle. Which is why fasting isn't as difficult for me as it is for many. They have to get over going without heavy carbs on a daily basis. I'm... over that, for the most part. Still, less protein, more fats. Intermittent fasting will help cut the protein, overall. Still, I would like to aim at less protein per meal... as protein can be junked right to sugar without some care.
I did find the other new socks. Right where I thought they would be. Three pair, actually. One pair is the heavier compression, two pair are lighter compression. I may attempt to wear the lower compression socks at night. I'm not sure they are needed, I am not sure if I can do it. They might be too hot. Though, with the change to keto, heat doesn't seem to be as much of a problem. Though I think eating the pasta meal... was a mistake. I am going through hot flashes like a menopausal outbreak. At least I only go from hot to normal. Poor dames go from hot to normal to cold in flashes that would make Superman's head spin as if he were possessed. Yeah, plus... a few days back on keto full-time, plus intermittent fasting, and I should be back to being right as rain as to felt/sensation of heat.
I missed paying my mortgage. But... that is because I was waiting on paperwork, which never came. I lagged out, essentially. Still, my bad this time. However, when I call in to pay, I will be taking names and company numbers, speaking with a manager, whose name and number will be taken, and I will get this thing worked out. They are screwing me over and mean to be doing so. This is how an Obama government works. Wait until they decide they don't like you. Every department of corruption, graft, and brown-out will be screwing with everything in your life they can. I am almost wondering if that isn't the problem with this doctor. Are all doctors hard-core leftists now? The women who work are. That I knew. Though, perhaps, he is simply swayed by those women, out of fear. Not known to pick strong men to be doctors.
Anyway... Yeah... I'm slightly annoyed. I can and will do what I must to do what I am sure will work. If I have to hire a bureaucrat for state purposes, until I can get out, I will. No more. If that fails, there are other solutions. I won't recant or surrender.
Oh, my real climbing rope is in. Arborist type. I do have a couple of belay lines. They don't have enough give to climb in such a way that arresting a drop would be safe. They are good for a few things, very good for those, but not for free-climbing. That is, pretty much, all the gear I need immediately to start several types of climbing. With or without help. It's just getting to it. Bleh. Later.
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I didn't sleep until nearly 0:30. I needed a little time to settle toward sleep after the big rush at the end of the day. I only woke twice in the night. The first time the water didn't seem to have gone down in the pot, the second time I needed to add sixteen cups. Perhaps I didn't realize it had gone down as much as it had that first time... or it drops very quickly at some point in the process. After doing this three times now, I am beginning to suspect the latter. For some reason, the broth already had a white cast to it. Perhaps too much vinegar? I used that for deglazing, then adding more to the whole pot. Yeah, that would be my guess. It will take more time to understand these things. Still, I am pretty sure the stock will be just fine. And thick. I am almost sure I will need to split this out between two pots before it is done, and then cut it with water by filling both pots. Those knees provide a might lot of bone broth stuff, then add in a package of trotters and two packages of oxtail, and... well... After the anemic nature of the last stock, I... probably pushed this one a bit. All good. It'll work.
Sore, tired, cranky of body, as I start out. It is overcast to add that to the morning brew of life. I suspect I may end up needing a nap in not so many hours. Making it to noon would be good. Though, often these days, if I make it to nap time I simply roll right on through.
The socks are mostly dry. I actually hoped they would be fully dry by now, if I didn't quite believe they would be. The hope that exists in a mind of doubt leaves only good surprises. I was not surprised. Still, it is pleasing to have clean socks. And to have done it myself, in a manner I am sure that is good for them. As silly as it may seem, I actually see that as a form of maturity. I can use all of that I can garner, learn, obtain. Not a worldly thing, or a self thing, just a good thing. I should have one new pair of knee-highs to use for today. Yeah, knee or thigh high is how I went. Shorter ones really end up causing odd problems. They hurt with the swelling and discomfort more than help.
Oh, beside dinner later... first day of fasting again... and the bone brew, I will at least get the nearly final load of dishes in and soaking. If it is small enough, I may finish that out today. If not, perhaps I can at least wash that all once the set it to a rinse. Weird not having to plan food for earlier. Tonight will be simple. I will have the remnants of the chuck roast and cabbage, then probably the remnants of the roast that wasn't added in, a salad if any of that is still good, what milk I have left, and an half portion of sunflower seeds. Though I would like to get a cup of creamed chicken broth down, and maybe a cream tea. Gotta get the fats in.
Feeling terribly wonderful. It hurts, and tired, but because things got done. They got done late, but that is when I could do them. A catch-22 I can't always escape. A brutal little life sometimes, but... how terrible a simple life, at least in these fallen times. Ease is surely death, or slavery. Death by trial is surely better. Good morning and day.
Ah, one more thing. A vid from a fellow blogger. Just a thought.
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I knew, as I was typing out that list, that I had no chance. Snowball... hell. Still, the meat DID have to be gotten to a simmer. Preferably with the lid on at an half tilt. Which sounds easy enough. In truth it is quite a task. The meat and bones had to be potted, then a deglazing needed to take place... but with the roaster cool that took more elbow work than it should have (read - more time than anticipated). Oh, but, first, the dishes had to be finished. I didn't just need the pot. Well, so... it was more complex. Still, all went well.
Oh, I was quite worn after those. I couldn't go to bed just because they were done, however. A nearly full to the brim 36 quart pot does not simply 'come to a simmer' upon request. I set the alarm for an hour, then cast about for whether to just sit it out or do something else. Now, I really love my showers. Baths more but they are more work. And the dishes have been, and will be again, hogging up the tub/shower tomorrow. I thought maybe even tonight. So in I went. But before I got settled in for wet and clean, I set up the socks in a cold woolite soak. I did swish them around some right then, and after I was finished with the shower. Then rinsed them twice. Yeah, I got it all, I do believe.
I just wanted to brag just a bit. I am quite pleased to have pushed on through. I wish I could have been done earlier, I simply didn't have it in me... and it was too hot. I'll check the pot shortly, then go to bed. I got it to a simmer, then added the lid, I just want to make sure the simmer is just right. I already have extra water, with a lid, sitting there. I'll be up before long, and several times. Oh... one last thing, I wish to put up the cabbage beef fry. That is too good too waste.
I am sure sore though. That was a lot of pushing over a very reluctant, cranky, tired body. Meh, I'll live. And it is good for me. Probably. Good night. Though, just a little music as I sleep. Dark to some, but... pleasant for myself. Nothing too overboard, not tonight. Oh, and I best let Sam in. Yeah, good night.
