Saturday, June 3, 2017

Bright ideas, sleep, and other absurdities.

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My idea regarding bandaging my leg were... not so great.  Once I get a scab to form, best to leave it along.  Washing, twice a day, however, might be good... though there might be an even better way.  Bandaging, and softening the scab, allows the wound to weep, and allows infection in.  There is a minor infection going on, now, again.  Those are very dangerous for me.  Perhaps the doc will send me home with a small supply of antibiotics, so I can call in, explain, and get him to tell me which he wants to use, or first.  Or I can begin with fish and bird meds, if he won't.  If you catch those when they are small, right away, you have a decent chance.  I can't afford to run to the doc every time, even though I should.  We'll see.  Just some extra doses, to keep on hand, maybe with ongoing replacement scripts.  Hey, it... isn't a gimmick, I really am, sort of, against a lot of things.  I don't store in food for the future, this is my "that" future.  Still, I don't mind calling him up and getting advice on usage... I just can't afford to pay full price every time some part goes red.

Again, I stayed up much later than I thought I would.  How?  I don't know.  I got a full night sleep this time though.  Oh, those are wonderful!  Brushing my teeth, again, now, twice a day... usually.  I hate when I miss.  But sometimes, when I push my day, doing anything else seems impossible, or at least improbable.  Something I realized about that?  Brushing teeth is a habit.  If you do something, regularly, for a set amount of time, it becomes standard practice.  The problem with me is that, when I fall, especially for longer periods, all habits end.  I have to restart habits from the ground up... at least living on my own.  A little help would be, and has been, a little help.  When you do it all, and have a problem of falling... in whatever way... getting back up, on top of standard living issues, plus the cats, means... well... old habits die easily, and have to be rebuilt.  Thankfully, unless they are lying, this isn't as bad for me as it is for some?  Dunno.  They don't like telling the infirm that they smell bad.  Not sure if they lie or not, to me.  Then again, a little trick I learned?  Most people smell bad.  There are ways to cover it.  Cleaning often enough will fix it, but comes with it's own set of problems.  Life is... complex.  Halitosis?  A word invented in the low 1900's by people trying to sell you toothpaste, gargle, and floss.  Or?  Lies.  You will, from time to time, have bad breath.  More as you become unhealthy, and older, or eat poorly.

Well, still awake.

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No trick, or great effort.  I got busy on something in the game and... here I am.  I got beyond the blockage in the game.  Then went on to... after several rough times... a new blockage.  I may still try to muscle through it.  Hmm?  Right.  It's an odd thing.  I am toast, tired, dragging, and, yet, there I go.  What in the world makes that critter tick?  Or live.  I still think some folk are quite surprised I didn't fall.  No lack of effort on their part, I think.  Oh well.

I may not be getting much done.  I am trying to push through to a new day.  For whatever reason this is a problem.  The day hurts, being awake hurts, though as I push through, transcendental notes are added to the ledger, and a new balance is found... or numbness trumps, or balances, pain.  I think the ability to will to live is partially based on this.

Whatevs.  I need to push through, several areas, over the weekend, with the intent of hitting it next week.  Medicines are a problem, the heat will be a problem, but I think I can work it out.  I do.  Somehow.  I want to get back to work.  Oh, and I best contact my doc.  Set up a visit.  It's time.

I did reorder a square sink.  It too was timed out, in spite of things.  Then another.  I finally ordered, I think, a third... canceling the previous four.  We'll see.  This one suggested shipping would be in four to five days.  It's a start.  I also ordered the circuit finder device.  I hope it works.  With it I purchased a plug adapter for light sockets, so I can check those as well.  The big breakers are known, it's all the small ones that are a problem.  Once I have them tagged, then I can begin seeing about some non-functional ones, and the one in the bathroom which is supposed to be gfci but is showing is not grounded.  Not... good.  I'm not sure I can fix that, though it is possible.  The ease of fixing it will depend on where it is sent, and how.  While the walls are... messy to work with, the attic, basement, subareas, are actually rather accessible.  I haven't been under the old stone house itself, but it looks like there is a way in with at least three to four feet of crawl space... probably enough for even me with relative ease... probably.

Of course, as with all projects, beyond learning and doing there is the cost.  One thing at a time.  I... sometimes get lost, or confused, trying to go forward, up, down, back, left, and right, all at once.  It... doesn't work.  Sometimes there are unforeseeable events, accidents, or just the reality of confusion with my health.  Sometimes... I just can't keep on one track.  I get distracted, or weary of that direction, or hit a financial or technical wall.  I keep at it, though, mostly, when I can.

I'll see if there is advise online, about how to get through the blockage.  It may just be that one simply has to bang his head against the wall until something gives.  Though there might be a special trick.  I am playing beyond my good intent and ability, which... might be the problem, or a big part of it, right there.  Anywho... I best get going.  This might be a good night as well.  Not sure I'll post again.  Good morning and day.

Well, okay, I just canceled the night.

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To attempt to keep medicine right, I have started taking medicine according to the general time of day.  If it is my bedtime, but actually morning, I take morning medicine.  As it becomes night, I take night meds.  Which, was just implemented today.  There is one trick, or hook, I didn't, but should have, anticipated.  Taking my night meds in my morning (but literally at night)... is causing a crash.  That is why they are taken at night.  No problem.  It'll sort itself out.

For now, however, I am going to bed far earlier than anticipated.  With a major headache.  I think something didn't work like it should.  Oh well.  Maybe some sleep will reset things, perhaps even reset days and nights.  Hmm... you know though, I don't think, when I have done this before, that it caused this problem.  I realized some years ago that switching med-times helped me not lose a day in the translation.  Oh well.  Good... morning and night.

Is it a strange world?

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Yes and no.

Friday, June 2, 2017

Sam just...

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I've got a sore spot.  Sam decided that hoping on that, and she does target it, was a good way to get attention.  Well?  She got attention.  Don't fuck with sleeping bears.  It used to not be healing, there for a bit.  Now, back on medicines, it is healing, just not terribly fast.  It has a good scab on it.  And I am learning how to treat it, what works for me of the advise given.  The thing is, in low humidity areas, scabs tend to shrink, desiccate really.  When it does that, it pulls on the surrounding skin, making it more vulnerable.  Now that I have the wound healing, I am working on that part.  I will be washing the general area a couple times a day beyond showering and bathing, bandaging it lightly for half the day... with vasoline over it... then leaving it in the open air the other part of the day.  All... give or take... but that's the general plan.  Plans, like theory, are great until reality hits.  Still, it'll get me heading in the right direction, I think.  Most of that, save the vasoline coverage, has been what has been working, and what saved my bacon when water retention was preventing healing.  Sore!  Cats off!  And she really did it on purpose.  Bitch.

I slept well, and longer, this "night".  It's a cooler day, that might have helped.  Well, and I've been pushing the last few days.  Not on purpose, just couldn't figure it all out.  Couldn't sleep until I could, couldn't sleep once I woke.  all good.  A few days at high run-times is fine.  I am definitely heading to better days, if... nothing else trips me up.  I'll just manage that if so.

Dreams, loads of them, but they aren't tracking back to this side.  One or two are close.  If they pop, and I like them or think they have something to say, I'll write them up.  There is a potency to the dreams.  Summer's fire?  Nearing health?  I dunno.  Maybe just because there really is so much going on.  The world is on fire, and it has nothing to do with the sun.  A very good thing, necessary.  One just hopes and prays the usual suspects lose enough to buy us more time.  At this point, politically, socially, morally, ethically, intellectually, that is all we are doing.  We are on the edge of extinction, or the attempt at it, from every angle.

Japan wants more children?  Fire almost every woman.  Make it so she can't be hired.  End her access to vote.  Even so, I think they are going to start murdering the old and infirm.  I don't think they have a choice.  Secular decisions always end up going that way.  Logan's Run.

Later.

A bit more.

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Had to stretch for those last three hours.  Tempted to push further, but there isn't anything left.  Even simply... ignoring... procrastinating... won't do.  It hurts when I get to... now.  I've had worse.  Food was good though.  That might be what is kicking my feet out from under me though?  Maybe.  Worth it.  Love that corned beef... sort of.  Well, it's easy, lasts, is different yet meaty.

The game I am playing needs to be played through four times.  I've finished the easiest setting, am now working through on the second to most difficult setting.  Next I'll try to do the hardest setting, then go back, finish up on the second easiest setting... if I can tolerate that much play.  Still, I'm enjoying it enough, for the moment.  I wasn't sure I'd like it, didn't really starting out.  Rage quit after two minutes, I think.  Just... not used to gaming.  It really has been... months? a year?  more?  Anyway, so, yeah.

The girls are being very strange.  They want to be with me, near me, on me, around me.  Meowing, when I am awake and I can remember it when I sleep.  I don't think I am dreaming.  It is as if they are... singing to me.  I have no idea what all the attention is about.  They have even, mostly, sorted out their differences so as to both be close.  It is a very strange thing.  I... may have to look into cat behavior.  When they are worried, when I am ill, they do something similar, but it has more of a lamentation to it.  This... isn't that.  This is celebratory.  Or, that's how it feels.  Very odd, but pleasant.

Oh, the ghosts and other haunts remain.  Less frequent, but they are still about.  I don't think the girls, mostly, sense them... or if they do, they don't fear them?  Wait, I think they do sense them.  The girls don't come around when the artifacts become knowable to me.  Believe as you like.  When it's over, I'll chalk it up to health issues, or summit like that.  For now, I have to go with what my lying eyes are seeing, and other senses.  Sometimes I know, or think I know them, sometimes not at all.  Some are truly hateful, but I don't think those are human... something odd about them.  Like a feral cat, hates, would love to hurt, can't, so just... focuses hate.

Good night, morning, day.  Be well and it will be.

A culinary note.

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I cooked "new" potatoes (both red and gold), cabbage, and corned beef last week.  Now, everything has lasted, but the meat better than the others.  Heavily spiced, with the packet that arrives with it, it stores well.  More so when put away in a timely fashion.  *cough*  The potatoes and cabbage are edible, but... there isn't much left to them.  If I go that way again, I will cook the corned beef to be on hand, then when I really go to start digging into it, I'll do the veggies.  Bread would be really good, but something with a bite in it.

I've got to get going on things, but really can't.  Not quite yet.  It is 73 already, though only went down to 72 during the night... in this front southern room.  And yet I feel chilly.  Strange.  Sometimes I really feel the heat.  It depends, I suppose, in part on what I am eating and doing.  And how my health is.  Diabetes can take it one way, the bad heart will take it another way.  There are possibly other things.  Just a curiosity, for me.

Bucket list?  I don't like the notion.  To be honest, other than being a billionaire or something weird, within the givens, I've... done more than most can.  Besides, I've got a long time to go.  Thirty years?  Yeah, or more.  Minus assassination or accident.  All things, born of flesh, must die.  Some, however, die much more slowly... are quite resistant.  I'm not the only one, though I think only a fool would suggest I am typical.  I just wish I could enjoy the humor in it a bit more often.  Maybe I am getting there?  We'll see.  If I get the back roof sections cleaned, and gutters, and have the kitchen, bath, and bedroom in trim by next Friday, I'll call it a maybe.

I don't think I'll be making it much longer today.  The floor is about to mop itself with me.  I have fresh cabbage cooking, though I'll just reheat the potatoes, along with the corned beef.  Hmm... they aren't old, the potatoes, so much as waterlogged, or such, I think.  The cabbage... just doesn't last well.  Fresh should be good.  Good morning, and day, to you.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

Short sleeps.

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To bed by 14:00, as it ended up; awake at 21:00... A little past and a little short of, to be honest.  Tight.  Yeah, I used to do better, if grumpier, on six hours sleep.  It is weighing on me, now, this time.  My heart still feels as if someone slammed on the breaks, and neither it nor I consciously are very happy about it.  The temps aren't helping, but will stabilize in time.  At least the weather isn't, mostly, jumping around like a cricket on a hot sidewalk.  Hmm?  Yeah, right, eggs will be fryable on sidewalks soon.

The jasmine, I think, plant I got is still blooming.  It is a fantastic little plant, and quite fragrant.  I was surprised.  I have found a place for it, for now, but would really like to transplant it soon, as with the aloe vera.  Having cats and plants is like have several children.  The strong will naturally prey upon the weak, for no good reason other than that seems natural, to the very least in a fallen world.  While I know shame for it, I also understand I was in a broken system.  Though, so many these days are broken.  Still, there are ways to deal with these things, but you gotta move... or... I do.

Oh, I have attempted to cancel the order for the square sink and faucet.  While they were adverted as available and prime, I was notified, after ordering, that they didn't even know when these would be sent.  No, I... don't want something two or three months from now, shipped God only knows how, and with that kind of distance, just as likely broken.  No.  They will most likely try to rush the thing into being sent so as to deny the cancellation.  Chinese have no ethics, their front companies don't either.  If the cancellation goes through, I'll look for another, and maybe look locally for the faucet.  I don't want some cheap water crippled dribbler (or at least one I can't fix).

Sleep well, or... keep doing your thing if night is your time.  Be well.  Later.

Noon and change.

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A bit past 13:00.  I am cooked.  Not all in a good way.  Today might be a bit cooler, but as temps climb comfort takes a tumble.  Always something.  Well, yeah.  I'm not exactly special, I just say it.  And there is always something.  If I focus, and run and work hard, I can bypass noticing.  My health doesn't allow it.  So, while I slowly, painfully at times, die, all I can do it notice what else is wrong.  Though sometimes that leads me to what to fix, or attempt to fix, next!  One of my first chiefs, duty chiefs, in the Navy, suggested that a day is useless without something to bitch about.  No, we didn't have verbal monitors.  Anyway, if what he says is true, I'm living the high life!

I've been ripping through this game... at the lower difficulty settings.  I've won it, then gone back to farm gold and other things for other things.  What I have done in that game through the night would impress.  Other players would accept it as the toil of play.  Those who don't enjoy games would find the grind unbearable.  You can't pay some people for some things.

Hopefully I can get my days and nights switched around.  Perhaps in time to engage in work, when that becomes available again.  If I can figure out even how to do a few things this week... checking the plants (which were doing well, from what I could tell, save for the asparagus... nubs there)... keeping them watered especially as it heats up... a shower a day, and making a doctor appointment.  Stuff.  Plus the regular stuff.

I did order a sink and possible faucet for the bathroom.  I'll see if the faucet works, somewhere, before the return date is used up.  All I have to do with the sink is make sure it isn't cracked, chipped, etc.  Next month I will most likely shop for flooring for in there.  I want thick underlayment, to help with the floor temps in there, plus the "planks", as well as a floor drain.  If I get busy, and get the room opened up, I'll get down into the crawlway to check the drain pipe I'll need, do a rough measurement with a bit extra for trim, plus elbows or else fittings, and have that all ready.  I might get that mirror out this month, though... as well as the old vanity and toilet.  It'll really start opening up if I do.  Hmm?  I might buy paint for in there... and brushes... yet this month.  But other than these things and the mower, I think that is that for spending.  Ugh.

Oh, right, bedtime.  Good night... urhm... afternoon.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Do you ever get the feeling that a fever has broken?

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If you remember the last time you had a major illness, with whatever else but including a fever.  A fever that lasted for days, perhaps starting slowly, then building, and maybe slowly reducing at the end or not maybe.  Then, when the fever goes, and your mind and body are back to some comfort to allow you to have normal sleep and normal dreams.  If I am not there, I am inching to it.

I went to bed somewhere around 7:00~9:00.  I called my mother before going to bed.  She sounded well, though... Well, I think I piss her off, somehow, from time to time.  That's part of the job description, goes with her's too.  I'm not sure what it was, and if she isn't going to tell me, I'm not going to know.  I might well not care either way.  This.  Is.  LIFE!  *grins*  Teh women.  Love them all you want, just watch out.  Besides murdering you, they can also love you to death.  Proper men do no such thing.  Not... like that.

Dreams, again.  I suppose as the 'fever' fades, things are being shaken up.  I won't say it's a literal fever.  It's... some affect of the medicine.  I am not quite through it, completely, but it is... hmm... quieting.  The medicine does a similar thing to when I first became it.  It grabs my heart and slows it down.  My body is still trying to run as a rabbit, but my heart is being halted.  The rest of my body rages, sucks for oxygen, attempts to push beyond the limit, and is, really, dying.  It is another death.  That is why they don't like pushing medicines so fast, quite often.  Rejection, because it feels horrible.  It feels like death, if because it is.  I know the taste of death.  If you ever want to try it, jump on my medicine at my level even.  I don't think it would kill you.  You would, though, feel like you are dying.  Though... in all seriousness, I wouldn't recommend it.  One unforeseen chink in your health and they'd be planting you in the six foot "circular file".  With your card, "here's your ticket", and your Darwin's award.  :p

Actually, it should kill me.  Oh well.  Can't say I've never tried.  *grins*  As I wrote, I think the... grunge from medicine is fading.  I'll still need recovery time, but that doesn't mean I won't work if I can.  Gosh I like to work.  I want to finish the little part in the bathroom, get the compost center up, clean the back roof sections and gutters, and... some other things.  Bleh.  I love and hate some work.  Mowing (when I can), watering, planting, and a few others, which just spend calories, are absolutely fantastic.  The ones I have a love-hate relationship with are the ones that can get technical, or provide problems that can become so deep, overwhelming really, that...  Like the bathroom.  Even so, I will get to these and those in time.

You know, once I get things squared, I might be able to pay off my house in a decade, and have certain improvements in to make it more liveable and valuable.  A decade, hmm?  Maybe.  That's sort of the goal.  If they won't work with me on refinancing, I'll just... burn it through on my end.  Later.

Getting somewhere?

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I have been on medication for two weeks full now.  It's still beating me up pretty badly. There isn't an easy way to get back on medication, nor do I have a means of staying on it.  If I sleep too long, days in a row, and don't really wake well, I simply can't keep track of medicine.  Sometimes it is that I don't remember to take it, sometimes I forget to set the medicine up.  Sometimes I am sleeping for longer periods, or even staying up too long.  Weather, and general health, as well as proper feeding, all play a part.  I do my honest best.

I didn't sleep very long "yesterday night".  Quotes because, at this point, bedtime was from... 10:00~12:00 until... say... 17:00?  Give or take.  Usually I try not to work that way.  Too little sleep, too often, is a really harsh thing.  Still, once in a while, I guess.  If I feel like waking... just as if I can't sleep or have to sleep... it is what it is.  I am still hoping to plug some effort into work this month.

I should be able to buy a riding lawnmower this month.  I need to test them out, talk to the salesmen, check reviews, and find out about attachments.  To start things, I'd like to make sure it can pull some things, and can take a front blade and snow blower.  Pricey, but... shoveling is... not always possible.  I'll still shovel, sometimes.  But when I can't I'd like to have the drive figured out otherwise.  I know folks help.  I appreciate it, I do.  I just... shouldn't depend, all the time.

The only other things I might buy this month are the sink and faucet for the bathroom, and maybe a device that helps locate switches and such to the breakers.  I'd sure like to have it sorted out, perhaps fix a few plugs that don't seem to be working.  I think the underneath of the house is fairly open.  How gnarly it is under there is a whole other things.  Bats may be down there, but I don't think else.  Oh, and a doctor appointment.  Yeah, I'll... get it done.

Tonight?  Just gaming.  I got a shower in, again.  I've had two meals.  I might take a bath... or not.  I really need to do some cleaning, I'm just not able.  Toasted, fried, cooked... whatever else these medicines do, they do it harshly.  Which... is why, in part, as well, I go off them from time to time.  Everyone loves mother, no one loves to be smothered in her apron.  Later.

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Potent dreams of late.

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Massive successes.  Given a task by God... though this was very dream-state style.  Some other things.  No violence.  None of it was purely simple, easy.  Some things stretched my mind, even in the dream state.  I'm still not doing well, physically.  Gaming isn't helping, but it can't really hurt.  Well, perhaps by putting a serious kink in my neck, then on up and down the spine from there.

In one of them, I wrote a few books, like when I do freeflow thinking.  Now, I did create them in a directed pattern.  I mean, I used the method, but with direction.  Actually I wrote several books.  It was more to learn the process of self-publishing.  As it turns out, the books sold huge numbers, around 400,000 each.  I thought I had the price set at $.99.  It turns out I had them set at somewhere between $8~$9.

Now, these weren't for sale, really.  So I put them at $20 per.  Which ended up getting them to several million each.  I then put them to $100, which slowed down sales a bit.  Crazy.  Silly, but it was a fun dream.  In the one with God?  As a horseman, there are gifts for each.  Some follow the lines of their nature, others are just as unique and being a hobby mathematician might be to a welder.  In this case, God commanded that I work to help produce a nearly identical twin for a soul that... was to get a second round.  While God has asked me, as War, something, this wasn't a question, but a command.  So I had to do some strange things to make it so.  God never asks of us what we cannot do.  I can't remember the other, but it was similar.  All good.

It's about bedtime again.  I hope your day is good.  Be well, amen.

Monday, May 29, 2017

Well, it's something.

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It's been quite some time since I played a game.  Oh, I tinker with majhong, digital.  And of course I do sudoku as daily, or more, as it is available and I remember.  But real computer/console games are a rarity.  Why now?  Because I can't do much else until medicine and weather levels back out.

I thought it was Resident Evil 4, but it's five.  I also have the most recent installment, but I wanted to play the lessor one first.  Usually older ones aren't as good.  Not always though.  They really mess up some franchises with political or other crap.  This one has a lot of blacks in it.  Then again it's staged in Africa.  I think the US, if more Europe, has backed out of Africa.

There is nothing there for anybody.  Bad actors, however, will stay and play there.  Should just send their folks home and quarantine, for everyone's good.  China is there to do everything from attempting to strip mine what is left, human experimentation, and who knows what else.  They aren't there to be good to people.  As well, muslims are just there to take.  Black muslims aren't welcome in the rest of the new ottaman empire.  They are merely expected to stay in place and destroy non-muslim blacks, get slaves for the mainlands, and breed up so as to be able to manage what wealth they can steal.  Being rather compulsive, however, they don't end up breeding up well at all.  Quarantine.

I still read where China is claimed to be high civilization, low tech.  They aren't that, as I have written before.  The only true bloodline to kingship is hidden, or it would be destroyed.  China has changed, drastically, what civilization means throughout it's history.  Usually brutally, but then not.  Their current "civilization" dictators are the exact opposite of what they suggest.  From murderous to their own, to brutal as an absolute way of life, to terrible to foreign people, and for no better reason than to impose a false civility.  Terror is not civilization.  I still don't know why their people haven't revolted?  Perhaps, for them, that is as good as civilization gets.  Much as with muslims, they are either murderously at war with everyone, even each other, or a strongman has his boot on their throat.  No real choice.

Anyway... the game is good enough.  It can be a bit blocky.  And there are way too many bosses.  Each has a trick that is a little too specific.  Other than that, it's... good enough.  I'm getting a serious kink in my neck though.  Oh well...  I'll us anacin and take more breaks?  Maybe.  Later.

Ever watched the shadows move but in the right way?

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Headaches, sleepiness, a bit of a snoot, and yet no real issues.  I have seen some of the darker shades of things wishing to get at me.  Too, I have seen shadows smiling and hopeful about some of which I present.  While I have enemies, I have friends as well.  And... more, maybe.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Better.

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Things go in stages.  Weather and medicine, overdoing things, and a few other variables can throw everything for a loop.  After overdoing, then weather changes, now medicine.  Closer.  Making plans.  Is it possible there might be another work period coming up?  I sure hope so.

The only two things I'll focus on, this month, is the riding lawn mower and the trash bin... if I can afford it.  Tossing as much as possible, in a hurry, will be the goal.  Clearing and cleaning.  I have about a week to prep for it's arrival, and check to see costs.  At worst it will be next month before I order it... or even order it for next month if that is possible.

I am almost to the point of doing better.  I have learned from that past, that if I get there, but my schedule is off, work helps sort that out.  It is best, for me, to just go with the work, don't worry about days and nights, it will work out, and quickly.  As long as I can work, mostly, once on schedule, work will keep it more even for longer.

A shower in a bit.  Perhaps some gaming to wake.  I found Resident Evil 5.  It'll do.  It is more like a jumbled third-person shooter than the original, which seemed more of a mostly scripted horror game.  I may end up liking it, more.  For now it is mostly just a way to spend time.  Something alternate to watching episodes, blogging, reading blogs, and... sitting.

My pulse was 79 this morning.  I'm going to check that more often.  I didn't realize, as noted, that pulse lowered.  Getting from here to the docs office will see a ten to thirty point rise.  Even if I show up early and sit for a while.  It isn't doctor fear, it's people.  Just being around people will do that.  Later.

Saturday, May 27, 2017

How odd.

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Actually, maybe not, if you think about it right.  I was thinking today was Sunday.  In one sense, that doesn't make sense.  When I lose time, due to sleeping too much, I often trip backwards.  Often, I mean, I have thought, in situations like this, that it would be Friday.  However, now that I am tracking better, it might actually make sense.  Sleeping to full sleeps would be more prone to someone who is otherwise in good shape to think a day more has passed.  Fair enough.

I checked my pulse, out of curiosity.  It was right at 84, resting.  While I have been told that is a bit high, I also know it has been that high since when I was in the best condition of my life.  It has always been right between 80~84, at least when healthy.  Before I restarted medicine this last time, I checked several times, the last probably a week before I started medicine.  I didn't think it would help, almost never seems to help.  Then again, usually when it is checked I am at a hospital, and have had to hurry, shower, dress, and get there.  It was averaging about 110 beats per minute before medicine.  So, yeah, that's... quite an improvement.  I ought to find the bp cuff and give that a check.  I doubt if blood sugar is any better.  I haven't been... eating right lately.  Too many treats, and general lack of care.  I'll get back on that.

I do like refried beans and beef.  And I enjoy adding some whole canned black beans.  Usually.  This last time, I couldn't find black beans from the US, so I took what was available.  Don't buy "food" from south of the border.  All I'm saying.  I have eaten most of that batch, but I've had to suffer it.  Never could eat a whole serving, or well.  I hate to waste, but I weary of that.  I think, since, I bought better black beans.  I have a new portion of beef too.  I may just make a whole new batch.  That stuff is just nasty.  All I can do it my best.

I finished the demo on Prey.  I think it will do, as a distraction.  It won't be as good as past games.  I highly doubt the story will be great.  It'll most likely be just a simple grouping of much better games.  I'll wait until the price comes down though.  Chinese main characters?  Really?  While there is a female character, you aren't required to play it.  I think I have some other games, older ones where the price dropped, on blu-ray so I can play offline, and such.  I'll see what I got, and if any of them work.  I like sci-tech, some fantasy, first-person, shooters, though rpg and a few other sorts, just not forced group play.  Just not any fun.  Too few good players make good friends, online and to a degree offline.  Offline I'll go the good friend first.  Mostly.  Online?  Play and shut it.  Like I wrote, though, online doesn't work well.

Hmm...  I am nearly finished with the first set of Twin Peaks.  I may watch the movie again, then move on to the next series.  It looks like they ran out of material.  When you only buy leftist writers, and it is obvious, you lack talent and imagination.  Yeah, you do.  They go to the same things they always end up in.  Trash.  It is what the wealthy, elite of most forums, want.  What was it?  From top and from bottom?  Right.

Later.

Sleeping like the dead.

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I have had times where, in more recent times, I slept two naps in a day.  Sleeping four to six hours, then being up that much.  But not in memory have I slept full sleeps twice in a day... and still been tired.  I am sure it is medication.  Taking full dose starting out has more of a price with it than thought.  Then again, it got cool again, to add to it... or it seems that way.  That might just be me?

Looking at the thermometer here, which also shows highs and lows, it registers 68 F (I have found it reliable versus other thermometers placed together).  It is putting the low at 64 and the high at 75... which is strange, almost unbelievable.  If it got to 75 in here, it should still be that high.  I don't think I did any cooking yesterday, though maybe I turned the furnace up?  And higher than I thought, in order to try to get going?  Maybe, I just don't remember that though.  At 14:00 and change, if it got that warm outside, it would still be rather warm, even if it cooled off.  Air temp doesn't track down nearly as well as it tracks up.

Oh, but the girls were not happy.  They broke into my sleep, invading my very dreams.  Sam did it once, on her own.  It was not enough to wake me.  Next time, Sassy and Sam did it, one on each side, in stereo.  I woke and realized it really was them.  Though I had never quite heard them meow like that.  Especially in unison.  Very very strange.  Fair enough though.  I probably haven't been keeping as up on their feed as usual.  Oh, sure, they have hard cat food, but they... have come to enjoy certain luxuries.  I'll tell you, I didn't realize they could learn such things from me.  To go into someone's dreams is... a bit of a trick.  There are reasons not to do so.  I do think they had to have learned it from me.  Well... that's the story.

I'm not feeling great, or too awful.  A few aches and pains, possibly from oversleeping.  A bit groggy, as sleep doesn't seem to be doing me all that much good toward obtaining restfulness.  On the other hand, medicine and sleep, and some solid efforts on my side, have allowed that wound to finally solidly scab over and begin to heal.  That had me worried.  More so since I couldn't get rid of the excess fluid built up for past the first week of medication.  All good, I'll... make it.  I'll still cover it, for bits of time every few days.  Just... an added protection.

Hmm?  Well... a shower, trash out, and some other stuff... or not.  I'm alive, again, but not necessarily awake.  The heat, at this time, might end up doing me some good.  And it is, most likely, on it's way in the sooner rather than later span.  As my friend my have suggested, as an inverse giant, if for quite different reasons... it is happening, again.  Oh, I know, old friend.  I am hoping that it all comes together and I begin ripping and tearing into the house, keeping up with the new growing things, and keeping reading and learning.  Good day.

Nap?

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I can't be sure when I went down.  Waking after 21:00, perhaps after 22:00 though.  Four, six, hours?  More, less?  I went down so hard and fast, when I finally did go down, I can't remember anything.  I will have to be careful with life.  I have taken medicine, rightly, for... when I get in medicine tonight, eleven days.  If my sleep schedule is going off, I'll have to be very careful with continuing.  A big red "X" on the bottom and top of the calendar, I suppose, might help.  I am just about to, internally, lose track of day and night, day per day, sleep cycles, and else, for a while.  No choice.  Or, it's looking like it.
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I started writing this then just... wandered off.  I'll finish.  I had a bite to eat, then watched another few episodes of the show.  My last friend used to imitate the giant saying "It is happening again".  He had it down perfect.  I simply didn't know what he was talking about.  And, now, I am not sure what his point was.  I know he thought I was quite... strange.  Sometimes I don't think he liked me at all, sometimes he liked me fairly well.  Mood?  Maybe.  There were things he knew I did not.  Though I taught him some other things.  He was a strange bird too.

I don't know, but I may end up going on back to bed.  I just can't make heads nor tails of life at this moment.  Too tired to do more than light reading, watching this or that, minor thinking, none of it being connected or staying in memory long.

Oh, I did get the download for Prey going.  The main characters are Chinese.  That is a bit of an issue.  Though, something to consider is that if the Chinese are being shown as Americans?  It means even they realize their culture has lost.  The game is only so-so, a bit slow, and even on the playthrough I have already had a game-stopping glitch.  I'm not thinking this will be a very well done production.  If I can get it going, and don't have too many more issues, I'd like to finish it.  It's a very generic sciency/engineering sort of thing.  Nothing all that new, nothing all that surprising, not from what I have seen.  It might do, in time, just not at full retail.  When it gets down to $20, I might give it a go.  They don't make them like they did.

Later, or good night, again, most likely.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Better.

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Still pretty crippled.  The pain has eased.  I can't remember if I ended up taking painpills or not.  I did have a bite, and have been watching more episodes of the final season of the first set of shows.  It seems to be based not just on oddities, horror themed, but rather (G)gnostic.  There is truth and knowledge that can help, I just don't buy into the need for a great deal of, or secret, information.  God was rather clear.  You can try to meditate toward things, I just believe most of those things are not true, many aren't good.  Meditation, so as to quiet the mind, or contemplate simply on God... as a sort of prayer, can be good.  It offers enough strange elements to be interesting, as I see things, however.

A nap, perhaps.  I had a lunch.  I have enough food, now, to mix and match, so as not to get too bored too quickly.  And I can add sides of this sort, to that main dish, and end up okay.  Hmm, hiccups though.  Perhaps I ate a bit much.  Yeah, a nap... after I finish this episode.

I have spotted a game that might be okay.  It's title is Prey.  I'll do a bit more looking.  I don't like being forced to play characters which aren't suitable, or games that have leftist attitudes built in.  And I don't like all games anyway.  At the start, this looks to be a slow game to get into.  I am attempting to download the sample gaming.  It is taking forever.  Not sure if it's Amazon, the ps 4, or my service provider, for sure.  Though I don't think it's my provider, just from what I am seeing on various sites which would be slower if it was a provider issue.

Yeah, well, getting close to a nap.  Later.

Late and rough.

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One warning.  Don't eat corned beef and cabbage too close to bedtime.  I've been burping, and elsewise gassy, all night.  The burps are odd, tasting like coka~cola burps mixed with rubber tire burps.  I've never actually had that latter, it's just the only thing I can imagine.  No, that's good corned beef and cabbage, it's just... an odd thing.  I did put the food away before going to bed.  I am going to try to figure out what to do with the excess water.  It's a bit greasy, and meaty.  I'm not sure sending it down the tub or toilet drain is best.  Sack it and throw it with the trash?  I just don't know.

It is a rough morning.  My body has been wanting to wake for hours.  I simply haven't been able to push past.  It's too hot, even though it's not, according to the thermostats at my disposal.  Of course, as summer takes off, it is getting environmentally warmer.  The heat seeps in through cracks, gets into the stone part of the cave and settles in, slowly changes the world in ways a simple thermometer can't read.  Though, still, medicine is... working it's way through, finally taking affect.  It took weeks to just, finally, start sluffing excess fluid.  I am waking without elephant feet and ankles.  That is such a weird thing.  Why I didn't have that problem until recent years I can't say.  Even when, because of a ~30% lung congestion due to fluid, my legs looked normal.  To be honest, I think when medicine helps one way, it hurts another.  It is why they have to put us on a whole package of medicine, only some of which I can tolerate.

For now, and for some future, I will be down.  Until I can get used to summer, and medicine, and summer and medicine, I will be down.  I keep trying to do more, but even reading is a bit of a trick.  Hurting to be alive, being too hot to ever quite get comfortable... until I become so cold it hurts... age and medicine do a number.  Even so, when I am back in balance, I will be doing better, again, then ever before.  A month or two and I might be back to tops.  Then I'll dig in, hit the bedroom and en suit, clear out the house, and such.  At least I should be able to keep up on the girls, sort of keep up on food and main domestics, and keep the plants, inside and out, watered.  For now.  Then, when I get better, I can work hard again.

Gotta walk through fire if you want to see the real light.  Later.