No lift off and sinking fast.

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I did put suet seed out in a cage.  As well a setting seed for birds in the drive.  Just treats from time to time.  Redoing a nest house, perhaps building others, setting up a few feeders, and maybe setting hummingbird feeders out.  Just... something to do.  I used to have mourning doves.  They seem to have moved on.  I am hoping to welcome them back, among others.

I simply never got going.  A bit of blogging, a movie.  Tired.  Too tired.  I have sought a means around the trafficjam.  Nothing has worked.  I am thinking about a nap.  Timing is of, though waking was too.  Just a few hours down, more if needed.  May not be a choice.  Sleep until I can take a shower, then go from there.  Later.

Still a bit dark.

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Even so, I do believe I am better.  It is still rough, including some sort of sore throat, which I have had for a week.  A dry patch, not the flu or cold.  I may be snoring for some odd reason.  I have had that do it before.  How do I know?  Waking to an angry woman.  Thank God for sex or I never would have escaped the dog house.  While the snoring thing was rare, along with everything else, it all added up.  Doh!  Usually only lasted a day, or two.  So this is odd.

I went looking for something, anything other than vinegar, to possibly soothe the throat last night.  It might be from drinking to much (especially plain, more, iced) tea.  I found an old, unopened jug of tang.  Labeled as good until '13.  Only one way to find out.  Kept in the basement at pretty much a steady 64 to 68 F?  About in there.  Anyway, as far as I can tell, it isn't fatal, or even bad.  It even softened the dry patch.  Enough so this morning I cut cider vinegar with half water, and snapped that back.  I'll eat before doing that sort of thing again.  The throat can handle it, an empty stomach not so much.  Straight vinegar next time, once battened with food.  Back to tang and liquid splenda tea.

Feeling better.  Looks to be partly cloudy with some chance of clearing.  Either way it is about a perfect spring day.  Women become even more interesting this time of year.  Not as if they ever drift off radar, the difference, while marginal, is noticeable.  Did I just write that?  ;p

Still a bit tired, stretched, ill.  And yet, overall, through and through, better.  A back to work day.  First sourdough, then a bath, then to dishes, oh bedding change and laundry.  That would be a good start. I will see after that.  Best set up the dishes first, so I'm not fighting laundry for hot water.  I'll see what else I might be able to be about if I get these things done.  Uhrm, after I finish waking.  Good morning and day.  *tips hat*

Nothing.

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Well, a few things.  The sourdough was fed, the other two are on weekly feedings now.  The water kefir was reset, two quart jars which fill three 16 ounce snap top soda bottles. Three were filled yesterday, three today.  One of the quarts was put in the fridge, as a reserve/backup.  The other will be experimental, as will the bottles.  Oh, and a meal, the last of the chili mac.  Not much, was not hungry, ate... because.

Oh, I called my mother.  Just a last check.  I meant to call earlier, then again that might have messed with her lunch.  She works at a civil charity... fuel assistance.  She knows I am not a socialist, or worse.  Then again I come down hard on nations which let tens of thousands of their elderly freeze, especially while jacking up fuel prices on top of it for the beta, cuck, and leftist lie of global warming.  That is genocide.  The one problem I have with anyone, bureaucrat or recipient, who receives or gives, is a lack of gratitude or belief gifts are owed.  Be thankful, not envious or demanding.

Anyway... a few very small things.  Lungs are heavy, a bit warm even while a bit cold, and dragging with life so slow.  I think it is the weather, if there is more to it.  I'll... get over it.  Later.

One of my favorite numbers, good news, and good dreams.

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Well, and a minor mystery.

While unusually large, it is registering that I had 777 visitors last night.  Most aren't into numerology, save having knowledge of 666.  While not the "opposite", it is oppositional to it, institutional versus individual.  (There is no opposite to God, for there is no such thing as perfect evil.  Perfection is God, anything else is imperfect.  Simply being away from God is evil.)  So, 777 visitors, to me, is a good thing.  Not saying it is an omen, or that I would deserve such, either.  It is what it is.

Ah, then my mother called earlier this morning, left a message.  She had good cause not to call yesterday.  The shot trumped her.  ;)  She crashed from it.  But all is good today, back to work.  She wants me to call, once I twist my noggin on right.  Having a woman to bite my lip, help screw my head on right, might help.  Well, that's always iffy, if worth a shot with the right one.  I'll get close enough, solo, eventually.

Dreams. At least two.  Both entertained, right to laughter, several times each.  But more.  Casting miracles, if still having to work, hope, and pray, right literally in the dreams.  I tried to remember them.  Could not.  As soon as I realized I had dreamed, and enjoyed so well, when I went back to see in order to remember, the memories were gone.  Rather unusual.  Perhaps they were meant just for me.

As to the mystery?  I woke, got up, started the machine, then started this post at 7:00.  It is now saying it is 9:30.  If this happened from time to time, I'd suspect a memory issue.  I do have memory issues, but It's all or nothing.  Weird.  I know I didn't just zone for two hours and change... the ps4 would have turned off, then maybe bitched about being turned off incorrectly.  The tv also has a timer off.  I know those were turned on right out the door, at... 7:03.  Very strange.

Well, I'll feed the room temp sourdough, set a "cup" of tea, read and hear my way to wakefulness, then check on mom.  I did get the chili burger bulgar cheese mac up.  Not hungry, at least not yet.  Later.

A difficult day.

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Too hot this time.  Impossibly.  If I took something off I would freeze.  Sometimes it just doesn't make sense.  I did some, just not all hoped, by far.  Still as rough as being in my skin was I am surprised anything was done.

In the morning I fed the sourdoughs.  A load or two of dishes were done, included the final glass jars from sourdoughs.  Wools were washed, and have been put up.  Air dry is the best way.  Then chili mac, using older burger mash.  I'd best remember to put that up.  Then I reset kefir water.  Bottling the product, setting the grains to fresh sugar.  Then I checked the sourdoughs.  All were looking alive, bubbling, and well.  So the two in quarts went to the fridge after all were given a right stir.  Finally, a last load of dishes was set to soak and a pot of tea was set to go.  Loverly.  If rather weak.  I simply couldn't keep up and at it.  So hot, and cold.

Still, I did keep at it as able.  Reality is what it is.  I will sleep well.  What energy, focus, and will I had I used.  Good night.

Amazon's real problems?

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I can never be certain about Trump, other than to be sure what he says isn't what he means, for good or ill.  A "no" is an offer, a threat is often a bluff, and who he works for can be ascertained by noting who is getting richer.  It is business.  The goal is to put someone in charge who is more likely to let markets lead the band.  None will ever do that purely.  Some do it better.  Although, to be an America-firster, there are limits.  For the most part, given the restriction, he is doing well.

As to Amazon?  Perhaps Trump really does consider mom & pop shops a good.  As a billionaire, he doesn't have to worry about prices, taxes, or any of that.  Personally, I think millionaires on up should be forced, a month out of every year, to live on their own (no servants or family) on a moderate typical entry level income, after taxes.  Buy food, figure out how to prepare it, and understand how large sales taxes really are to real people.  Well, and how nasty mom & pop joints get with pretty much outright theft in smaller areas.

Further, half the reason I go Amazon IS TO STARVE THE BEAST GOVERNMENT.  I hope every man and business finds a way to get out of paying this grotesque bureaucratic thieving machine at every level.  What doesn't Trump get.  True, he is a dem (little d, due mostly to being pro-American).  Only elected to build the wall.  Too busy helping his friends get rich (If hopefully through market weighting rather than the fed's thumb on the scales) to pay attention to the punks in congress.  Unless that was always just an empty promise... We'll see if he uses .mil funding for actual defense.

The problem with Amazon is their extreme pro-China stance and their extremist leftism. Companies which go that way should be unlicensed and harassed by the government which the companies attack, the very one that has allowed success.  As with human traitors, corporate traitors need to be shoved out.  Maybe worse.  Business.

But, no.  The right action for the wrong reasons?  A pox on both their houses.

Just about right, for being wrong.

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Sleep schedule, that is.  I can't be exactly sure when I actually finally went on to bed, if I am sure sleep was nearly immediate.  There are three times stuck in my memory for the event, 22:45, 23:15, and 23:45 (give or take about three minutes on any, if memory is just as blurry in terms of this so sticking with the middling number).  Which was the real time though?  If I had to bet, I'd put seven chips on the first, three on the middle, and only one on the last. I woke at 7:30, so right at eight hours.  Good.  Only a bit extra tired for staying up so late.

Work?  Not as much as hoped.  There was simply more work than thought, and the work was more intense.  What ended being the showstopper was sourdough jars.  I moved two sourdoughs to quart jars,  for refrigerator duty.  I kept one in the larger jars, but changed it to a new one.  Those jars had near barnacles, where beastly to clean.  I washed them three times last night, finally leaving them to soak.  I hit them again, right when I woke.  I think they are pristine again, if I set them to a fresh soapy soak.  While at it, I set the regular dishes to a fresh soak, then stirred the sourdoughs.  I think I'll need to feed them a bit more often, to see if they survived the abuse.  If so, into the fridge, if not... I think two of them will make it.  Maybe all three, if extra feed for the next few days is required.

Back to work after I wake.   Dishes, might put wool socks in while I wake, then a good long epsom soak bath, taking my tool in, to scrape under hooves.  Then more work of whatever type or form manageable.  It is another dark day, so far.  Chops and burger are thawed.  Chili burger cheese mac later, and a few chops.  Might cook all the chops while at it, just for heating as needed.  I also have eggs, if questionable.  I'll boil a dozen, see if they work out.

Back to waking up.  Yeah, through the magic of blogging, the drying rack has been set up and the wools are washing.  And tea is on.  It's the little things.  Later.

Slow. Steady.

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Given the givens I am doing my level best.  Dishes, and more of them.  One of three jobs, as it turns out.  I'll skip the laundry.  Hanging every sock is more than I want to do.  Well, and pulling out the hanging contraption, which would need floor space opened, somehow.  I think I will burn through a chore and an half, get a shower in, rest a bit, then crash.  Each chore has it's own set of dishes.  I'm working on reducing the volume of dishes though.

Tired, odd bodily complaints, but doing well enough.  I may end up staying up rather late because of the slow pace.  But I should sleep well for it.  Another shower, or bath, in the morning.  Then back at it.  The next massage is coming up.  This time the pedicure will be on a different day.  I am curious if that will make much of a difference, as to exhaustion.  Earlier in the afternoon too.  It might make a difference.

I did call my mother.  They have her set up for her first shot tomorrow.  One of my cousins and his picked up meds for her, so she fixed a proper dinner.  Is she as good as some of the fancy tv chefs?  I'd actually say yes.  She knows how to do with what is on hand, but if you throw money at her, she'll try to save you some money.  If you refuse to save a dime, she'll show you how to make those extra nickles shine.  She knows the difficult, easy, expensive, and cheap way, plus a half dozen alternatives, time alternatives for faster or slower cooking so as to adjust for schedules.

Do most women even actually know how to cook anymore. I cook a man's way.  Great if I had a prep and sous chef, plus a dietician to plate for size and calories.  Anyway, someone ate well.  And I think someone was happy for the call.  I won't cook or eat more.  Half the oatmeal and remnants from yesterday, plus eating several days in a row has me a bit stuffed.  Can you save extra oatmeal to be reheated?  How best to reheat?

Good night, if I have a few things to do first.  Sleep well, I know I will when I get to it.

Awake. Considering work.

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I am not in good shape.  My midsection is sore as if I did a bunch of setups.  I promise, no such activity, or anything like it, has taken place.  Aside from the twinges, the muscles are more solid. Setups, or having sparred with a superior boxer, working on defending that area.  If so, I lost, if not as badly as if in a full speed fight.  Painful tickles rather than deep serious bruising.

I dreamed, but it was a good dream.  Fanciful too.  I don't remember more than those.  Something like obtaining a '57 Chevy, the fastest sort.  Enjoying tearing up the highway. Then to find it can fly.  I only remember waking with a smile.  Knowing I had a lot of fun in at least one dream.

I went ahead with one of my jobs, before sleeping.  The dishes from that were set to soak.  I am hoping to get that and two more jobs, plus another shower.  No promises but I think I can.  A load of wools too.  I'm taking frequent showers and enjoying.  Keeping much more up on my feet.  Which is part of the reason.  Odd that the feet still feel dry, as if they would grab socks, but they don't.  It is strange.  Doesn't matter if I use lotion or not.  They feel the same.  Though if I slather them occasionally they really are even smoother regarding socks.  Very strange that, by hand, I can't tell much difference.  They feel very dry and raspy.  Thought perhaps it was my hands, but that doesn't make sense?  Odd.

I'm still waking from the nap.  We'll see.  Later.

Hmm, strange?

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I was sure I was about to crash.  Never did warm.  Still chilled to the bones.  It was the sun.  When it crested it blazed.  Bright even through my curtains.  I am still rather tired.  I may make oatmeal, and clean up from that, then nap?  I think so.  I still hope to do several batches of work today.  The sun will help.  Figuring how to warm would help too.    Too cold.

After the nap?  Dailies, dishes that happen from those, folding dried clothes, washing wools if there are enough, maybe a shower, another shot at the oven with the new methods, surfaces, and checking things in the fridge and bagging trash from that.

The next time I go shopping I'll be getting enough eggs for more souffle practice, and to boil several dozen for snacks, and for potato salad.  It's that time of year, at least to begin practicing.  What all though?  Onion, potato, mayo, I like dill pickles diced in plus a splash of juice... as well as paprika - smoked if feeling bold, lemon juice or vinegar - apple cider if feeling bold again but NOT with smoked paprika... boldness has limits and these don't mix to good ends.  Hmm, what else?  Vidalias?  I actually prefer yellow.  But for a change?  Depends if available and cost.

Yes.  Plans.  Hopes.  And possibly tales of glory soon or late.  You know, if potato salad, then also fried chicken?  I think so.  Just a pack of thighs or drumsticks.  I remember when my mom would pull meat from the leftovers, and either mix that with the potato salad (if there was any remaining *gobble gobble*) or just make a meat spread from it.  It seemed like a lot of work.  It was more having the plan, a meat grinder (I think she just used a manual), and taking the time.  Still, a lot of work and yet not?  Frugal.  I don't have a meat grinder, yet.  Hmm...

On to oatmeal and a nap.  Later.

What?

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Awake but very tired.  Just ghosting through the morning, chilled to the bones even with thick socks, pj's, a thick robe, and the furnace jacked.  Oddly, my toes aren't cold.  Down right at 22:00, up at 5:00.  A bit shy on sleep, assuming I have made it up.  I may be crashing back to bed shortly, for a bit.  Unusually tired.  Eyes just won't stay open.

I did remember to call my mother.  Pleased she was.  Mom's may be women, and women are girls, and girls are twerps, but if you spoil them, they can be satisfied.  ;p  Well spoil, and put demands in.  Make me a pie,  __redacted__, or can some extra hot hot sauce.  Anyway.  She was happy.  Her doctor reported all is well.  Just nerve issues.  Either a third back surgery or shots.  Shots, she thinks.  All good.  Or, at least nothing extra bad, unexpected.

With the sinks clear, when I do wake, I'll hit some things.  For now, however, back to sleep.  Later or much later.

Pizza was the prize.

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Nothing but the dishes.  They were finished, the small tubs and sinks themselves were also cleaned.  I hope to hit more tomorrow.  So tired.  While in, I stopped at a quick stop type place for soda.  Several girls in the place.  Being an adult male, and larger one, I avoid too much interaction if I do enjoy children from afar.  Just as an older sibling or uncle type of thing.  Still, best to not approach or interact.

Even so... while I was checking out, a little girl kept trying to catch my eye.  After a few avoidances, I finally looked.  She just smiled like the shining sun.  I had to return the favor.  It didn't hurt a bit.  And the good thing about such a tot is it is completely innocent.  Still, I ducked out quickly.  I kept a grin on for a goodly bit.  Life can be good just that simply.

My mother didn't call.  I let that go, but will call her soon.  She was supposed to call me. I was pretty sure she wouldn't, if I don't know why.  I already planned to checking up on her as soon as I can, but tomorrow.  Something about letting her miss before calling.  Bedtime.  Late actually, at almost 22:00.  Ugh.  Good night.

Starting.

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One load put up, from the drying rack.  A couple small loads washed, dried, and put up. Two loads set up to a hot soak.  With one sink now open for rinsing and the dish rack open, the process should be much faster.  As little as that was, it did weary me.  If I finish tonight, early enough, I will go for pizza.  The oatmeal will be for tomorrow, as well as burger cheese mac.

There is some hope of doing a few other things tonight.  Just catching up on odds and ends.  Maybe washing woolens and putting up the dry load.  No promises.  I only get a freebie meal if I do the rest of the dishes.  The other works are just heavy hopes.  All is seriously possible though, if probably not all of it will be done.  However, if things are opened, and kept open, tomorrow holds much more promise, especially if food is on the hook and chained through today back on to regularity.  Three meals, really, four if today, since either two Fridays or Thursdays ago, I believe?

Pretty weak.  Makes sense.  I'll work on it.  Later.

Naps are wonderful things.

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Right at two hours down.  Awake midway.  I could easily have waken then.  I did and do believe the extra hour was in the best interest of my intentions... getting to the dishes, food, and perhaps other work.  I reset the dishes after the two hours, am having a big glass of milk kefir (which, amazingly, is slaking thirst as well as pickle juice, beer, or a few of my specialties), and am pretty sure I'll get to it plus thaw meats and begin soaking beans for tomorrow.

As mentioned, food if I do well.  I suppose, if dishes are done, I could cook.  I might cook something easy.  But the reward is eating what I need not clean after.  We'll see.  Maybe a bit of both.

The snow, down here in the valley, mostly, is gone.  I was surprised it lasted as long as it did, if it makes for quite a sight.  Gone, if possible to be replaced tonight or soon given the temperament of the weather yet this year.  No complaints given the relatively mild winter... compared to usual but especially compared to national and global.

Britain and Boston (much of the East Coast) is buying Russian fuels!  At a dear premium.  If someone is working with the Russians, it's libtard pols, and against there own.  Nobility has always done crap like that, getting rich from it as well.  Gore may become the first global warming alarmist billionaire... in a time of catastrophic cooling.  If he doesn't get hung for the lies, deceit, theft, and wrong policy, no one will.

Well, on to waking, then dishes, food, and else.  Later.

Definitely more snow.

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Just a powdering, if surviving the sun so far.  Sam wanted out until she didn't.  If she gets pushy about it I let her take a closer look.  Sassy will never go out during the day, or during bad weather.  Sam won't waste my time, mostly.  If she finds scent she will spend a little extra time, and I'll usually offer it.  Sassy would spend all day at the door.  So I only give her a few minutes.  Or pretend to push her out.  : )

Tired.  Nap?  Maybe.  Awake for five and an half.  The goal is sixteen up.  So, as for splitting the day, it isn't a bad time.  A nap, a couple loads of dishes, then a pizza or other food run?  Maybe.  I'll definitely reward with a food run if I clear the dishes.  Three meals since last Sunday.  Yeah.  I need food.  Home cooked is best.  Impossible with dishes blocking the way.

Oh, something recently suggested.  Adding baking soda to the water for oven cleaning, as well as on spots, as a sort of mud pack.  As well, when cooled, spraying with vinegar if a bit more is needed.  Not sure I'm a believer but I'll give it a few chances.  I want it clean.  I don't mind using heavier chemicals, I just don't have them on hand.  If these fail, back to the old way.  And I'll look closer before buying my next oven.  Ashes are the easiest to deal with.  Dump this lefty stupid inspired crap.  Avoid all low energy-ecco "solutions".  They do it to themselves.

Received an email from a FB'er.  Had to laugh.  No, I won't visit your page.  Thought about writing an email, explaining.  Then I realized this is probably some sort of trap, data catchment, or such.  No, just no.  For lowq's and predators, even the ones who present as house pets.  I just removed the email.  Can't even trust to respond.  Yeah, it's that bad.

Yeah, a nap.  Good morning and day.

Why no post yesterday, later?

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I kept hoping work would go forward.  I planned to digitally pen something after I did some work.  I did shower, dried clothes which will get a tumble and hopefully be put up this morning, made a food run, changed dishes water twice, and stayed up to 18:00 to call my mom.  One last check.  She seemed well, better.  Then I went to sleep hard but well, waking at about 5:00.

I am sure I am dreaming.  There is a lot of pressure, tense scenarios, perhaps horror, but of the types I enjoy and handle easily.  Dealing with the dead, the damned, and darkness, to me, is like being paid $20 an hour for fobs to flip burgers... mindlessly relaxing and somewhat entertaining.  I am good at it, at the very least in my dreams.  So long as there are solutions, even seemingly impossible ones, I can make it happen, without breaking the dream.

I hit my feet hard yesterday.  I had forgotten the pumice bar kept in the shower.  It was useless with as thick as my skin used to be.  Now it has some use.  Between it and the dry aftershower rasp, plus occasional lotion, plus spray and powder...  I am hoping to get them better, then be able to relax on care to some degree.  Wearing socks most of the time; some sort of shoe always, even these house shoes; definitely those but what else?  Monthly pedicures once they are in shape; occasional lotion; occasional spray and powder.  It seems a bit much for long term care.  Too much fluid in and out makes skin, especially where blood flow is weakest, high maintenance.  Perhaps too high to really maintain?  It will probably always be a problem area.

Oh, snow, off and on with rain yesterday.  On through the night?  It isn't staying around, not here.  If it continues on east, it seems, they are getting accumulation.  March, in and out like a lion?  Better luck next month?  April fools!  I remember that in Iowa before, or thought so.  Early elementary, or so it seems.  I wonder what unvarnished weather history exists.  My guess is when they weren't fudging the numbers back then they have changed them since, from temps to precipitation, when, type, and amount.  They are hiding the real weather data.

Gotta prove the lie to support China, India, and destroy the West.  Socialism on the global scale.  Although, only to enhance superelites, take all employees down to equal, near slave, wages.  That is what you are supporting when you march for global warming and gun control.  Yes, destroy our economy and take the only right that ensures the rest!  Yes!

I'll set the dishes back up on my way to check laundry.  Hope for better today.  Later.

Another opportunity.

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Nothing more done yesterday.  Too tired.  I did stay awake until 18:00, then called.  She sounded much better.  I think she was pleased someone cared enough to check more than else.  It, sometimes, really is the little things.  I crashed as soon after that as my mind could sort to do.  Odd how, when extremely tired, my mind and body have to gear or maneuver to sleep.  I can't usually just crash, unless I am already falling, if that sort of fall isn't exactly truly sleep, more of a bodily failure.  I woke at around 4:00.  Fought it for an hour, uselessly.  Ten hours seems steep, but I pushed six hours past when I would have gone to bed.  Not bad, given the givens.

Cold again today.  Maybe that is just me.  A shower in an hour, two, less?  Soon.  Then back to work if possible.  No grand plans.  I think those get me in trouble sometimes, if that gets me going other times.  Just not this time?  Right.  I was thinking about taking the trash out.  Then I realized that all I have for trash is two pizza boxes.  Yeah.  One job I don't need concern myself regarding.

I'd sure like to do something today.  The wrench in the works is dishes.  So, that is the plan.  Other than a shower and shave, nothing else is planned.  Although, if anything else goes forward, I won't naysay it.  Focus is on just those.  All good.

I am noticing that the massages seem to be... correcting, helping, shaping.  If I could add swimming...  My feet, from skin to muscle, as well, are really doing well.  I can clip my own toenails.  And technically, I can reach to do the cuticles.  But I wimp out when doing those.  If it hurts, better to let someone else do it.  Those on my feet get so hard they are like razor sharp rays.  I guess they hurt because they harden on into the skin?  They are less painful each time, probably even less so as I moisturize my feet, even just occasionally.  Worth the money.  Walking is much better.  And I do believe the body is improving.

Good morning and day.

Oddly cold.

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Not very much.  Laundry was set to dry.  Dishes were reset but have gone cold.  I finished the last of the pizza.  A few very small other things.

I called my mother.  She fell yesterday.  Another snowstorm hit.  Beside dropping three inches of snow, the wind yanked her off her feet while trying to bring her groceries in... the wind snatched the screen door.  On her head, on a rock.  Rung some bells, cut her noggin.  I'd like to press her to go in.  She is seeing her doc soon, so won't.  I get that.  How can I tell her to do other than what I would do?  It isn't even, or all, about the money... or I'd send it.  She'd just go gamble?  ;p

Still, bothersome.  We don't always get along, if better lately, mostly.  I just don't like to think of such.  Good thing, as she says, she is a tough bird.  I plan on staying up later to call and check on her.  Otherwise I would crash.  Hmm.  Might try to do something until then.  Might have to just to stay awake.  Worried she might have a concussion.  Tough doesn't always cur it.

As to the cold here, it's strange.  It is raining, so above freezing.  Yet the cave is not keeping warm.  The water must be stealing heat in some way.  Not only is the furnace weak, the cold spots are massive.  Unless... visitors.  That would explain temperature anomalies.  My health would as well.  Hmm...  Actually, because of what I have eaten, I should be nearly fevered.  Regardless of the environment.  Never mind.

Right. Heading back to life.

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A cold spring, massages, forgetting to eat, the threat of hard dreams, health limits and perhaps a minor dip in health, any number... perhaps all.  A problem with one, three, even all if mild enough, or ordered in such a way that each can be mitigated (juggled, really), and I can sometimes get through.  Not this time.  I was already falling after overdoing a bit.  After the massage I mostly stopped remembering to eat.  Even milk would have helped.

I just drank tea.  A dire thirst beset my notions.  A fog settled over the rest of my senses.  Sleeping much, even while awake.  I don't mind.  It is still the colder part of spring.  There was sunlight today.  The world is preparing for a return to life.  I am as well.  I am thinking of finding the trailheads up to both the hard and easier climb into the mountain  to my south.  I don't need it to be fully open to begin going.  As long as the entrance is open and even fifteen to thirty minutes of the hikes are open, that would be enough.  Actually, having limits would be best in the beginning.  As well, I can handle the cold, even severe cold, far better than the heat.  Best check, and lighten, my smaller pack.  Thin rain gear, dry extra clothes in a waterproof bag, several fire systems, at least a pancho or tarp and cord, ax and blade, food and water for a couple of days...  and more.

The next day I am up to being out I plan on doing a bit of shopping and to go looking for trailheads.  I sincerely hope that day is today.  And a stop at the post.  I'm going to make an effort to keep more up on business.  Ugh.  I can automate just so much.  I am hoping to actually at least start dishes today.  I have finished laundry... two loads over two days.  I will run the dryer a bit to fluff, or finish drying, the last load while I check wools.  Finished unless there is enough wool for that sort.  I have refreshed the soak of the dishes, just never got to them, these last few days.  A shower and shave, this time?  I have been working on my feet... cleaning under the nails, doing light cuticle work, and rasping dry skin on shower days, and using lotion every other or third half day (either before bed or when waking).  Bleh.  Lotion is weird stuff.

Well, if I owe you mail, be patient.  I am in a rough spell, off my game, behind the eightball in half my affairs, and still thinking a nap would be the better part of valor?  Right.  Right?  Yeah.  Just a short one.  Probably.  Something I might do first?  Soak beans for chili.  I can't eat as I used to, so a couple of cups of black and pinto.  Another cup of kidney if I have them.  Then burger, sausage, and ground lamb or turkey if the price is right, onion, and spices.  I'll check the most likely place for domestic herbs and spices, not just for this.  I need thyme, tarragon, oregano, rosemary, sage, powdered garlic and onion, none of it from China or other suspect nations.

I can't believe IC had so much better fresh locally produced herbs and spices, dried and fresh.  Everything I find here is at least out of state.  Much of it is bottled, with extremely ambiguous origins.  I'll do what I can.  Started looking online... honest, but sourcing from Egypt, Israel, Italy?  Why?  I want US, and without a doubt.  But not the big brands.  They outright lie.  *shrug*  I am at the point of not buying, growing my own.  It's a matter of between now and then, assuming it is possible.  Ugh.

Did someone mention naptime.  Hmm, a Doom sized carton of milk first.  Plastic these days?  Bleh.  Wait until you realize plastic puts androgenics in the products.  Doesn't get adults, mostly.  Kids?  The targets.  Intentional.  Later.

You know, food is rather important.

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It isn't all of it.  It does play a role.  I realized I haven't been eating.  Probably running at 0 to 500 calories a day for... a while.  Maintenance caloric intake, if my body could run all functions at idle, would be between 2,500 to closer to 3,700 calories.  The thing is, even now, a third to two thirds of my systems are catatonic.  Switching from time to time.  Rather than closer to fatal energy per organ blackouts, I go through less severe rolling brownouts, and of shorter durations.

The problem with things is several-fold.  The first is that I am not working with constants.  How many calories burned per day depends as much on which organs and muscles work as what I may be doing.  What uses the most calories, and pretty much all other inputs?  The brain.  As well, my inputs vary greatly, for several reasons.  Sometimes because I can't eat, because I don't digest, forget to eat, or possibly other problems.  Some of those aren't calculable.

There is a simple way to know.  Whether machine or living, input in will approximate output by volume, or is understood through some rough algebra.  I... had started to wonder what the problem was.  Then... clear.  Way to few calories.  Pizza helped yesterday.  Tempted to do another run today.  I need several solid food loads, for several days, in order to kick things over.  I can't cook because I am behind on dishes, have nothing thawed, and just cooking is beyond my reach, possibly.  Bad food?  Some days calories in, any calories, is good.

No nightmares.  Surprised.  No dreams or remnant emotions.  I don't mind normal nightmares.  Those remind me how to respond to difficulties.  Practice.  It is only when the dream is fixed when they are difficult.  The past, or how I remember it, cannot be changed.  I am not sure which is expected.  I used to know when they would happen, though I never could tell which type.  Strange they haven't arrived.

Politics?  I was starting to suspect they had worn Trump down, or gotten to him.  This spending bill?  If it goes through it means Trump is done.  He is a wildcard, pretty alone, an outsider, and a pro-American in a political system fully hateful of it's own people... if he is as sold.  No easy task, if that is why he was chosen.  I guess we will find out if he surrendered or was always on the other side.  Tick.  Tock.

Later.