.
.
It would appear she, or a proxy, suggests things. So real to one I once knew.
Saturday, April 25, 2020
America First Credit and Comcast
.
.
Both companies are trying to pull money from my account before I receive income, and at the end of my pay period when I have no money. My bank, the bank of Utah, told me, initially, that was between me and them, indirectly. I called them and told them I am their customer and I have this arranged as is. I expect them to uphold the agreement.
I was told all they can do is reject the payment, which might break autopay. Fine, I said. It has been the last two months with Comcast. It was taken care of, with the bank, who ate overdraft charges this time. I have been unable to contact Comcast since then. My system can't use their online service and their phone system isn't getting through.
I just received email notification from AFC. I made it quite clear that trying to steal money early, that isn't there, will be rejected by my bank. They are just trying to create overage fees and other such to pad their wallets. I won't let them. I may have to find a different Internet service and return the car. Play nice or lose hard.
.
Both companies are trying to pull money from my account before I receive income, and at the end of my pay period when I have no money. My bank, the bank of Utah, told me, initially, that was between me and them, indirectly. I called them and told them I am their customer and I have this arranged as is. I expect them to uphold the agreement.
I was told all they can do is reject the payment, which might break autopay. Fine, I said. It has been the last two months with Comcast. It was taken care of, with the bank, who ate overdraft charges this time. I have been unable to contact Comcast since then. My system can't use their online service and their phone system isn't getting through.
I just received email notification from AFC. I made it quite clear that trying to steal money early, that isn't there, will be rejected by my bank. They are just trying to create overage fees and other such to pad their wallets. I won't let them. I may have to find a different Internet service and return the car. Play nice or lose hard.
Up very late.
.
.
It was possible to wake at eight. Mentally. I woke, and was ready of mind. But my body hurt, pretty much everywhere. I have muscle knots akin to charlie horses where shoulder and arm muscles knit. Both arms. Not as severe, but perpetual. Had them for two days now. All other muscle groups are a quarter excessively stressed, right to ligaments and bones. Another quarter are stressed enough to be tired all the time.
No, I decided to sleep in. I woke at ten, noon, then thirteen hundred. I don't know that it helped, but it didn't hurt. Up at thirteen hundred.
While the weekend, I wanted to finish efforts for the week. Plus, it looked like easy work, quick. Not so much. I ended up needing three boxes, two for keepers, one for toss. Then to fill them. Not bad, if doing it correctly took time. Then, with everything neatly stacked, I started clearing parts of the now more open floor, in sections, to vacuum.
That is what killed. Three sections, cords, to a cot, to a fully loaded pack, here to there to over there, and twice for most of it. Then zoom-zoom. Vacuuming is a chore, especially with this brute machine. Every third, I had to move or replace a ton of items. But, all of the open floor has been well vacuumed, bigger items picked up beforehand, and now everything put back in a, probably, final placement.
It only took a few hours. Two and smaller change. It wasn't the time that surprised me, or the most. It was the work involved. It was a lot more than I had calculated. Okies. All good. It is done, it is the weekend, I am going to relax a bit. Feeding the ducks, cats, and myself, etc., hoping to shower each day. And collecting and removing trash is my weekend goal. And sleeping as needed and wanted between those things.
To be ready for a new start Monday morning. I have one box of keepers I would like to rebox, then tear down and remove the broken boxes up there. Then start sorting boxes downstairs. Locating empties and tearing them down as that group gets to a certain size. As well, shredding old mail. Finally, continue storing items.
None of that will be straightforward. There will be a ton of tweener work. As a fact, there will be twice as much work between those tasks than those tasks themselves. It will be a serious load. As well, I am hoping to clear a place to begin air drying masses of dishes, and start in on those. Just a few rooms, and just that part, will take two weeks, at least. If more will be done in the doing.
I gave up on a dishwasher after the feds nixed quality for the environment. Perhaps the virus will reverse some of that. At this point, I will stick with hand washing. Though, on my new diet, I use a lot fewer items requiring washing. Utensils, roasting items once or twice a week (unless grilling), tea half gallon and quart jars which are only occasionally hit. Still, good cleaning solutions and reasonable washers would be worth a shot. Just no reason to pay a premium for inferior quality washing. Once I get much of this washed, I may box some of it. Later.
.
It was possible to wake at eight. Mentally. I woke, and was ready of mind. But my body hurt, pretty much everywhere. I have muscle knots akin to charlie horses where shoulder and arm muscles knit. Both arms. Not as severe, but perpetual. Had them for two days now. All other muscle groups are a quarter excessively stressed, right to ligaments and bones. Another quarter are stressed enough to be tired all the time.
No, I decided to sleep in. I woke at ten, noon, then thirteen hundred. I don't know that it helped, but it didn't hurt. Up at thirteen hundred.
While the weekend, I wanted to finish efforts for the week. Plus, it looked like easy work, quick. Not so much. I ended up needing three boxes, two for keepers, one for toss. Then to fill them. Not bad, if doing it correctly took time. Then, with everything neatly stacked, I started clearing parts of the now more open floor, in sections, to vacuum.
That is what killed. Three sections, cords, to a cot, to a fully loaded pack, here to there to over there, and twice for most of it. Then zoom-zoom. Vacuuming is a chore, especially with this brute machine. Every third, I had to move or replace a ton of items. But, all of the open floor has been well vacuumed, bigger items picked up beforehand, and now everything put back in a, probably, final placement.
It only took a few hours. Two and smaller change. It wasn't the time that surprised me, or the most. It was the work involved. It was a lot more than I had calculated. Okies. All good. It is done, it is the weekend, I am going to relax a bit. Feeding the ducks, cats, and myself, etc., hoping to shower each day. And collecting and removing trash is my weekend goal. And sleeping as needed and wanted between those things.
To be ready for a new start Monday morning. I have one box of keepers I would like to rebox, then tear down and remove the broken boxes up there. Then start sorting boxes downstairs. Locating empties and tearing them down as that group gets to a certain size. As well, shredding old mail. Finally, continue storing items.
None of that will be straightforward. There will be a ton of tweener work. As a fact, there will be twice as much work between those tasks than those tasks themselves. It will be a serious load. As well, I am hoping to clear a place to begin air drying masses of dishes, and start in on those. Just a few rooms, and just that part, will take two weeks, at least. If more will be done in the doing.
I gave up on a dishwasher after the feds nixed quality for the environment. Perhaps the virus will reverse some of that. At this point, I will stick with hand washing. Though, on my new diet, I use a lot fewer items requiring washing. Utensils, roasting items once or twice a week (unless grilling), tea half gallon and quart jars which are only occasionally hit. Still, good cleaning solutions and reasonable washers would be worth a shot. Just no reason to pay a premium for inferior quality washing. Once I get much of this washed, I may box some of it. Later.
Friday, April 24, 2020
Up early, at it fast.
.
.
Not at it hard, or heavy, just fast and early. I dug through the pile. Only five boxes to sort? Right. And two of them didn't need sorting. One was done, the other was a keeper. The majority of the task was taking apart the pile of empties and stacking the empties in a new better place. After that, I did some general straightening.
Not a lot of work. Not heavy work. But it was early and is consistent. And my heart really hurts. I don't know if that is a warning, or just an aspect of the illness. This is the longest I have pushed past it. I have worked for longer periods, but I didn't have this particular pain. Usually I close up shop when it presents, if after a project is complete... a day or three. Working through it this time. Called to work.
I found a box of Playboys, some of them unopened. I didn't open them. NYPD, nude... Downtown Julie Brown of once MTV fame, some other famous... infamous... ones. Must have been holdovers from a very long time ago. Going in the trash. Someone wondered about porn, and why. It is the fantasy of sex without risk... of disease, babies, a debt, a guilty conscience of a specific sort or set of sorts. It's just as wooden and dead as any other set of wrong turns. Didn't even open one. If I must see a nude, it will be in the flesh. With a ring on her finger. Definitely a thought.
So, finally, all boxes have been sorted. I didn't find a box for the bits left over from yesterday. A very little job for tomorrow. I wasn't up to messing with the cot. But a few small things were put in order or place. It has been a good week. And it isn't quite finished. The vacuum will go up soon. I'd like to powder the carpet first, with some freshener. I wonder if baking soda works?
I do need a few days of rest. Thus weekends! Oh, eating three salads every two days, and one to two fatted drinks, plus the work, over the last two weeks, I have... gained fifteen to twenty pounds? Yes. I have actually pushed water out with the work and diet. At first I almost wanted to cry. Then I measured my arms. I did that when starting in. An inch and change... around half... larger. Enough to cover the weight gain? Enough that I won't worry about it for now. Now I believe, more anyway, my memory of getting stretchmarks from working out when I really hit it. I don't need 'roids, if there is a size limit far less than strength limit.
I am beat. I don't want to be awake. I don't want to do anything else. I want to go back to bed. I didn't want to do what I did. It was a horrible struggle just to wake, rise. In two hours, if still wanted and I am able to sleep, a nap. Or sooner. Later.
.
Not at it hard, or heavy, just fast and early. I dug through the pile. Only five boxes to sort? Right. And two of them didn't need sorting. One was done, the other was a keeper. The majority of the task was taking apart the pile of empties and stacking the empties in a new better place. After that, I did some general straightening.
Not a lot of work. Not heavy work. But it was early and is consistent. And my heart really hurts. I don't know if that is a warning, or just an aspect of the illness. This is the longest I have pushed past it. I have worked for longer periods, but I didn't have this particular pain. Usually I close up shop when it presents, if after a project is complete... a day or three. Working through it this time. Called to work.
I found a box of Playboys, some of them unopened. I didn't open them. NYPD, nude... Downtown Julie Brown of once MTV fame, some other famous... infamous... ones. Must have been holdovers from a very long time ago. Going in the trash. Someone wondered about porn, and why. It is the fantasy of sex without risk... of disease, babies, a debt, a guilty conscience of a specific sort or set of sorts. It's just as wooden and dead as any other set of wrong turns. Didn't even open one. If I must see a nude, it will be in the flesh. With a ring on her finger. Definitely a thought.
So, finally, all boxes have been sorted. I didn't find a box for the bits left over from yesterday. A very little job for tomorrow. I wasn't up to messing with the cot. But a few small things were put in order or place. It has been a good week. And it isn't quite finished. The vacuum will go up soon. I'd like to powder the carpet first, with some freshener. I wonder if baking soda works?
I do need a few days of rest. Thus weekends! Oh, eating three salads every two days, and one to two fatted drinks, plus the work, over the last two weeks, I have... gained fifteen to twenty pounds? Yes. I have actually pushed water out with the work and diet. At first I almost wanted to cry. Then I measured my arms. I did that when starting in. An inch and change... around half... larger. Enough to cover the weight gain? Enough that I won't worry about it for now. Now I believe, more anyway, my memory of getting stretchmarks from working out when I really hit it. I don't need 'roids, if there is a size limit far less than strength limit.
I am beat. I don't want to be awake. I don't want to do anything else. I want to go back to bed. I didn't want to do what I did. It was a horrible struggle just to wake, rise. In two hours, if still wanted and I am able to sleep, a nap. Or sooner. Later.
Thursday, April 23, 2020
Running low.
.
.
Coffee. I went to instant a while ago. Much easier to store, use. I have a month, maybe two, left. Before I remembered to check, it doubled in price. While... considering, in a day or two, it simply became unavailable. I have rationed to one shot of the stuff a day. When I get to the last jar, I will cut it to every other day.
I have enough tea to last four to six months? Hard to tell. Bits and parts of my plans fall. I will just go without as I run out. I won't chase excessively priced items. As with steak, and most meats, I have backed off... rare treats, very rare. Perhaps it might yet be available, or become available again. I have my doubts.
I can't be sure how long shortages will exist. In part that depends on how many people die. Though some of it is based on what remains of global markets, globalization, and the value of the dollar. None of those are looking good. The dollar has the best hope. But fiat based on debt is death to the economy sooner or later. And, truly, we aren't later, we are laterer.
Going without, one way or another, is the future. Down to a salad or two, a portion of packaged meat, a fatted coffee, and a fatted tea per day. I have a few packs of pasta left, but that isn't good for me, and there isn't much left. I wonder if that is still available at the stores?
Just... realizing what all is happening. Oh, and I am freezing. It isn't that cold. Couldn't get very warm last night either. All good. I'll make it through. Later.
.
Coffee. I went to instant a while ago. Much easier to store, use. I have a month, maybe two, left. Before I remembered to check, it doubled in price. While... considering, in a day or two, it simply became unavailable. I have rationed to one shot of the stuff a day. When I get to the last jar, I will cut it to every other day.
I have enough tea to last four to six months? Hard to tell. Bits and parts of my plans fall. I will just go without as I run out. I won't chase excessively priced items. As with steak, and most meats, I have backed off... rare treats, very rare. Perhaps it might yet be available, or become available again. I have my doubts.
I can't be sure how long shortages will exist. In part that depends on how many people die. Though some of it is based on what remains of global markets, globalization, and the value of the dollar. None of those are looking good. The dollar has the best hope. But fiat based on debt is death to the economy sooner or later. And, truly, we aren't later, we are laterer.
Going without, one way or another, is the future. Down to a salad or two, a portion of packaged meat, a fatted coffee, and a fatted tea per day. I have a few packs of pasta left, but that isn't good for me, and there isn't much left. I wonder if that is still available at the stores?
Just... realizing what all is happening. Oh, and I am freezing. It isn't that cold. Couldn't get very warm last night either. All good. I'll make it through. Later.
Losing the day.
.
.
Slower than I had been. An hour every other day. In part the darkness of late, in part a difficulty getting to bed early. Insomnia is attempting a return. I am throwing everything I have at it. Slipping. I'll... keep trying. Doing miraculously well, given the, if puny to you, massive increase in my work load. Other things, everything?, are, is, slipping? Maybe. But I still sense approach, as the sun slowly warning my face.
I hit it this morning. All boxes sorted. I have books, keepers, I need to find a small box within which to fit and store the tombs. Utah has been very good to the books. Still, many are going. Then I stowed the tent, roughly. The cot was wrestled. I lost, to point. But I have a crowbar, intent, and time on my side.
After finishing, and neatening, I... noticed something. More boxes to sort. My heart fell. I didn't have it in me to count. Besides, they are partially buried under a pile of empties I have created. Not many, no more than six to eight probably. Tomorrow. As with the cot, I will tear the empties, sort that last group, and complete the cot.
After? Figuring how to get rid of the boxes up there, the toss boxes. Even without that, it is really improving up there. It is an open studio, really. Say 12' to 15', by 25' to 30', freshly carpeted, with cutouts into the area for the staircase and banister, plus a closet that is more an addition to the old chimney. It has flagstone window platforms built into the thick stone walls, which where recently renovated with new drywall and carpeting.
It is a neat space. Completed with window dressings and ac, it is perfect. Cool to cold in the winter, but that is my idea of ideal. It finally is visible and viable for three quarters of the floor, rather than a quarter of it. Boxes, cot, and tent, and other thingsm, were sprawled. Now to create a small office and entertainment area up there.
Ugh, but people, I hurt. I hurt good, or hard. It is with purpose, but it is intense. Am I dying, again? No, not yet. Probably. I will continue the treatments. I can't let my fear of the unknown jeopardize progress, by Jobe. Later.
.
Slower than I had been. An hour every other day. In part the darkness of late, in part a difficulty getting to bed early. Insomnia is attempting a return. I am throwing everything I have at it. Slipping. I'll... keep trying. Doing miraculously well, given the, if puny to you, massive increase in my work load. Other things, everything?, are, is, slipping? Maybe. But I still sense approach, as the sun slowly warning my face.
I hit it this morning. All boxes sorted. I have books, keepers, I need to find a small box within which to fit and store the tombs. Utah has been very good to the books. Still, many are going. Then I stowed the tent, roughly. The cot was wrestled. I lost, to point. But I have a crowbar, intent, and time on my side.
After finishing, and neatening, I... noticed something. More boxes to sort. My heart fell. I didn't have it in me to count. Besides, they are partially buried under a pile of empties I have created. Not many, no more than six to eight probably. Tomorrow. As with the cot, I will tear the empties, sort that last group, and complete the cot.
After? Figuring how to get rid of the boxes up there, the toss boxes. Even without that, it is really improving up there. It is an open studio, really. Say 12' to 15', by 25' to 30', freshly carpeted, with cutouts into the area for the staircase and banister, plus a closet that is more an addition to the old chimney. It has flagstone window platforms built into the thick stone walls, which where recently renovated with new drywall and carpeting.
It is a neat space. Completed with window dressings and ac, it is perfect. Cool to cold in the winter, but that is my idea of ideal. It finally is visible and viable for three quarters of the floor, rather than a quarter of it. Boxes, cot, and tent, and other thingsm, were sprawled. Now to create a small office and entertainment area up there.
Ugh, but people, I hurt. I hurt good, or hard. It is with purpose, but it is intense. Am I dying, again? No, not yet. Probably. I will continue the treatments. I can't let my fear of the unknown jeopardize progress, by Jobe. Later.
Wednesday, April 22, 2020
Just don't get it.
.
.
Mercy? If it were mine to give, and it has been, there is a long line who received.
.
Mercy? If it were mine to give, and it has been, there is a long line who received.
First things first.
.
.
Definitely before, this morning. Downstairs is a gravity well trap, in more ways than one. A single but very solid session. And, with just one more session after the last push, it looks amazing up there! I have exactly twelve boxes to go through, if also a tent to put away properly and a cot to set back up.
I may use the cot for naps. Or, from time to time, as a sun shield. Even with ac, the sun is brutal, no matter what else. I may also set my electronic piano up, up there, now. I need a speaker for it though, and maybe new headsets? Or get the thing fixed. Worth it, to play again.
Plans are made for more work today. I may even check the lawn. I don't think I have the weedwhip, if I don't I am up to that I could mow on the riding lawnmower. Though, I think, it has been hit. Something, this afternoon, though. Oh, and trash collection and resetting bags in cans, maybe washing them out, those which need it. Actually, cleaning and emptying, after filling, trash cans, would do for an afternoon exposition on home décor. ;p
A shower, in two hours, after feeding, watering, hay and litter care for the critters. Doing well. But it hurts to do. Now, almost any work, even standing for half an hour, causes me to sweat profusely. I swear, I even go into my mind, see what work I hope or plan to do, and I begin to sweat. It's 66° in here, a bit cooler upstairs. I am in socks and shorts. Burn.
Oh. Someone thinks he is funny.
Maybe. But he still talks funny.
On to my dailies and waking routine. Good day.
.
Definitely before, this morning. Downstairs is a gravity well trap, in more ways than one. A single but very solid session. And, with just one more session after the last push, it looks amazing up there! I have exactly twelve boxes to go through, if also a tent to put away properly and a cot to set back up.
I may use the cot for naps. Or, from time to time, as a sun shield. Even with ac, the sun is brutal, no matter what else. I may also set my electronic piano up, up there, now. I need a speaker for it though, and maybe new headsets? Or get the thing fixed. Worth it, to play again.
Plans are made for more work today. I may even check the lawn. I don't think I have the weedwhip, if I don't I am up to that I could mow on the riding lawnmower. Though, I think, it has been hit. Something, this afternoon, though. Oh, and trash collection and resetting bags in cans, maybe washing them out, those which need it. Actually, cleaning and emptying, after filling, trash cans, would do for an afternoon exposition on home décor. ;p
A shower, in two hours, after feeding, watering, hay and litter care for the critters. Doing well. But it hurts to do. Now, almost any work, even standing for half an hour, causes me to sweat profusely. I swear, I even go into my mind, see what work I hope or plan to do, and I begin to sweat. It's 66° in here, a bit cooler upstairs. I am in socks and shorts. Burn.
Oh. Someone thinks he is funny.
Maybe. But he still talks funny.
On to my dailies and waking routine. Good day.
Tuesday, April 21, 2020
Shower, ducks, and more.
.
.
More is still theory, but planned. A visitor, perhaps. To help, and help remove broken down boxes. I had some downstairs from downstairs, then grabbed the upstairs ones. I tossed them down. Not the best plan. Had to fight my way through. It was the equivalent of ten methhead 3rd graders. You don't want to know how I know.
I win.
---------------
As it turns out, a bit of the hoped work. Boxes and trash out, deposited. Then just a tiny bit of other work. Called off because the Boss was called to real work. Still, just removing cardboard was a very nice piece of work. If I can do more, it will be folding clothes. A basket, two, half.
Tomorrow? I really want to hit the upstairs again, first thing. I am getting somewhere with it, if it doesn't look it. Just one session. Then storage, items from front to back. Hopefully several boxes managed. The goal is to be done by noon, get a shower, then take a break until a bit of work in the afternoon.
Dinner, shortly. A fatted tea and salad. Cheese, chicken, and? Dressing, of course. Hmm, I should get fixings for vinaigrette. I truly love a homemade italian dressing. Mint this time, thyme and cracked pepper or a full Italian medley next. I even put in mystery herbs or spices for that exquisite touch none can name. I should create a very small list for the store, for once a month runs. Just the little things. I am trying to run a much more humble show from now on.
Not bad. While delayed, with what has been done today, I am almost at Wednesday of last week, and I only worked to Thursday. Cheers. And later.
.
More is still theory, but planned. A visitor, perhaps. To help, and help remove broken down boxes. I had some downstairs from downstairs, then grabbed the upstairs ones. I tossed them down. Not the best plan. Had to fight my way through. It was the equivalent of ten methhead 3rd graders. You don't want to know how I know.
I win.
---------------
As it turns out, a bit of the hoped work. Boxes and trash out, deposited. Then just a tiny bit of other work. Called off because the Boss was called to real work. Still, just removing cardboard was a very nice piece of work. If I can do more, it will be folding clothes. A basket, two, half.
Tomorrow? I really want to hit the upstairs again, first thing. I am getting somewhere with it, if it doesn't look it. Just one session. Then storage, items from front to back. Hopefully several boxes managed. The goal is to be done by noon, get a shower, then take a break until a bit of work in the afternoon.
Dinner, shortly. A fatted tea and salad. Cheese, chicken, and? Dressing, of course. Hmm, I should get fixings for vinaigrette. I truly love a homemade italian dressing. Mint this time, thyme and cracked pepper or a full Italian medley next. I even put in mystery herbs or spices for that exquisite touch none can name. I should create a very small list for the store, for once a month runs. Just the little things. I am trying to run a much more humble show from now on.
Not bad. While delayed, with what has been done today, I am almost at Wednesday of last week, and I only worked to Thursday. Cheers. And later.
Nothing.
.
.
Since Friday.
Until today. I meant to do a single session. I ended up doing three. I wanted to stop. My body was screaming to stop. I was overheating badly. But no. It... was pride. I kept looking for a spot to stop that looked better than when I started. I finally came to the conclusion that, because of the floor plan, and how finished toss and keep (for now) stacks of boxes were being arranged, that won't be possible until I begin evicting the toss boxes.
With three sessions in, I really got through a lot. All the partial boxes from my last session, a half a dozen more fresh, at least. More like ten to twelve, if the extras were already mostly empty or mainly trash. As well, I was able to break down a score of boxes, including huge ones, for my tv and lawn chairs. I even have them arranged for fast removal. Plus keepers and tosser boxes are not only individually neat, they are clearly and collectively neat and stored.
I did that before going downstairs, mostly. Or absolutely? I... can't exactly remember. Though I think I will side with an absolute, as I had to pee like a racehorse later, when I did go down. That is the only reason I would have gone downstairs beforehand. Though extended work can act as a diuretic. At least for me, after I have been down for days.
The rest of the day? If I can, more storage trips, the ducks, folding laundry... or crashing. It's 66° F, and I am sweating like a waterfall half an hour later. I became desperate to find a clean endpoint the last two hours, so kicked it up in panic... until control was lost and I had to just vacate the scene. Setting it up as well as possible before plopping into my chair. Still, there is hope. A shower, to be sure though. And quackles. Later.
.
Since Friday.
Until today. I meant to do a single session. I ended up doing three. I wanted to stop. My body was screaming to stop. I was overheating badly. But no. It... was pride. I kept looking for a spot to stop that looked better than when I started. I finally came to the conclusion that, because of the floor plan, and how finished toss and keep (for now) stacks of boxes were being arranged, that won't be possible until I begin evicting the toss boxes.
With three sessions in, I really got through a lot. All the partial boxes from my last session, a half a dozen more fresh, at least. More like ten to twelve, if the extras were already mostly empty or mainly trash. As well, I was able to break down a score of boxes, including huge ones, for my tv and lawn chairs. I even have them arranged for fast removal. Plus keepers and tosser boxes are not only individually neat, they are clearly and collectively neat and stored.
I did that before going downstairs, mostly. Or absolutely? I... can't exactly remember. Though I think I will side with an absolute, as I had to pee like a racehorse later, when I did go down. That is the only reason I would have gone downstairs beforehand. Though extended work can act as a diuretic. At least for me, after I have been down for days.
The rest of the day? If I can, more storage trips, the ducks, folding laundry... or crashing. It's 66° F, and I am sweating like a waterfall half an hour later. I became desperate to find a clean endpoint the last two hours, so kicked it up in panic... until control was lost and I had to just vacate the scene. Setting it up as well as possible before plopping into my chair. Still, there is hope. A shower, to be sure though. And quackles. Later.
Monday, April 20, 2020
Almost ready.
.
.
A shower, teeth brushing, first thing. Now to airdry and wake. No, nothing yesterday. Today is Monday, I will work this week. In and out, mostly without burgers and fries. Still a bit tight, sore, but ready for the next round. I woke without the cats bugging me, or strife. From last Monday to yesterday, almost every day was a struggle. Usually the girls were pushing too, not this morning for whatever reason.
Breakfast, shortly. A salad, with cheese and a packet of tuna or chicken. I am saving the salmon packages for special occasions. It's probably going to be my least favorite. But, it is the most rare, the most expensive, and the most exclusive of those offerings. I might as well play along. I suspect that is what most people do. Women even more than men, if to very good effect. No complaints, without even using that humble graced tool.
I also bought Spam. Probably my least favorite of the lot, but not horrible, reasonably edible, and inexpensive. Just minced pork butt (shoulder). Is the title versus actual name a testimony to pigs or butchers, I wonder? *smile* Don't... tell my butcher I wrote that. *grins* Oh, but the thing is, they have shuttered the plant that was producing that. A lot of plants are only going to come back when automated to a much higher degree. Not affordable in good times. No option in certain downtimes. A lot of, all but one highly automated plant is or will be closing.
Though wait until they realize everyone who can get it has gotten it. Though that won't account for reuptakes, slight changes, or simply that immunity may not be possible with this. Vaccines, for the most part, are bogus. I do believe president. Trump is on the right page.
He was there first, and at the right time. Opening up isn't an option. The stone throwers are tiered to throw stones, even if he followed their advice. He... has proven himself to be exceptional. Still... the wall. His number one promise. It will neither be completed nor enforced. As with drugs, illegals of certain sorts are given pathways in.
Now to eat, drink, and be... happy? ;p Later.
.
A shower, teeth brushing, first thing. Now to airdry and wake. No, nothing yesterday. Today is Monday, I will work this week. In and out, mostly without burgers and fries. Still a bit tight, sore, but ready for the next round. I woke without the cats bugging me, or strife. From last Monday to yesterday, almost every day was a struggle. Usually the girls were pushing too, not this morning for whatever reason.
Breakfast, shortly. A salad, with cheese and a packet of tuna or chicken. I am saving the salmon packages for special occasions. It's probably going to be my least favorite. But, it is the most rare, the most expensive, and the most exclusive of those offerings. I might as well play along. I suspect that is what most people do. Women even more than men, if to very good effect. No complaints, without even using that humble graced tool.
I also bought Spam. Probably my least favorite of the lot, but not horrible, reasonably edible, and inexpensive. Just minced pork butt (shoulder). Is the title versus actual name a testimony to pigs or butchers, I wonder? *smile* Don't... tell my butcher I wrote that. *grins* Oh, but the thing is, they have shuttered the plant that was producing that. A lot of plants are only going to come back when automated to a much higher degree. Not affordable in good times. No option in certain downtimes. A lot of, all but one highly automated plant is or will be closing.
Though wait until they realize everyone who can get it has gotten it. Though that won't account for reuptakes, slight changes, or simply that immunity may not be possible with this. Vaccines, for the most part, are bogus. I do believe president. Trump is on the right page.
He was there first, and at the right time. Opening up isn't an option. The stone throwers are tiered to throw stones, even if he followed their advice. He... has proven himself to be exceptional. Still... the wall. His number one promise. It will neither be completed nor enforced. As with drugs, illegals of certain sorts are given pathways in.
Now to eat, drink, and be... happy? ;p Later.
Sunday, April 19, 2020
Still off, sore, tired.
.
.
Doing nothing isn't helping, if doing more, if even possible, would increase distress. At least if too much were accomplished. Keeping warm helps, but not too warm. Lungs finally started burning yesterday, or I finally got down to were that level of pain was noticeable. Burning today as well. Everything hurts a bit, now, with one notable exception. My back doesn't hurt.
A benefit of sleeping on the floor. Is it just from sleeping on the floor, or with the addition of getting up off the floor, well and lowering down to the floor? I can definitely tell kidney pain now. If that is because I have fallen off meds for several days, all of it, because I have been off of both body and mind. I'll... get it. Today.
Medset ran out. Meds are in. I may pull several doses of insulin in advance, doing three days, roughly. That helps when I crash so very hard. I might be able to pop the slow acting stuff anyway. It is so difficult when I am falling asleep at bedtime, while trying not to get lost in insomnia.
As well, I have been eating bad foods. Trying to do a carb recover? I think that is what my hindbrain had in play. Or was it just the craving from the animal side? It no longer works. I can't tolerate the food well, it no longer tastes good. And it buffs diabetes. Not as much as I would have thought though. Yes, back to medicine and keto today. And some work too.
All said, I am sure I will get back to work this week. Actually, it was a five day week, since it started on Easter Sunday. I am hoping for a five day week, give or take, starting tomorrow. If possible, I would like to get a minor start today. We will see. Gotta wake a bit first. Oh, and aspirin! I forgot about that stuff! What an idjit! Later.
.
Doing nothing isn't helping, if doing more, if even possible, would increase distress. At least if too much were accomplished. Keeping warm helps, but not too warm. Lungs finally started burning yesterday, or I finally got down to were that level of pain was noticeable. Burning today as well. Everything hurts a bit, now, with one notable exception. My back doesn't hurt.
A benefit of sleeping on the floor. Is it just from sleeping on the floor, or with the addition of getting up off the floor, well and lowering down to the floor? I can definitely tell kidney pain now. If that is because I have fallen off meds for several days, all of it, because I have been off of both body and mind. I'll... get it. Today.
Medset ran out. Meds are in. I may pull several doses of insulin in advance, doing three days, roughly. That helps when I crash so very hard. I might be able to pop the slow acting stuff anyway. It is so difficult when I am falling asleep at bedtime, while trying not to get lost in insomnia.
As well, I have been eating bad foods. Trying to do a carb recover? I think that is what my hindbrain had in play. Or was it just the craving from the animal side? It no longer works. I can't tolerate the food well, it no longer tastes good. And it buffs diabetes. Not as much as I would have thought though. Yes, back to medicine and keto today. And some work too.
All said, I am sure I will get back to work this week. Actually, it was a five day week, since it started on Easter Sunday. I am hoping for a five day week, give or take, starting tomorrow. If possible, I would like to get a minor start today. We will see. Gotta wake a bit first. Oh, and aspirin! I forgot about that stuff! What an idjit! Later.
Saturday, April 18, 2020
Off and awful.
.
.
Sleep came much later. In part for the nap, in part for the pain. It feels as if my heart were being squeezed right in my chest, like a pitcher checking his grip or for flaws. Better this morning, should be ready by Monday. I couldn't stand, or really think, yesterday. I am hoping to do some very light work upstairs, and maybe just a bit else.
Beside sorting the last two boxes nearly completed before, I would like to tear down empty boxes upstairs. As well, wash those five to ten pieces I had set to soak, and take a shower. Shaving either yet today or tomorrow. If I have a bit more, perhaps folding a basket or two of laundry.
Nothing fancy, it won't be fast, I may not complete all, or any, of it. It is the plan and my intent. I really am getting things done, if working less than ten hours a week. Still, believe or else, that is more than I have been able to do in some time. Falling off medicine, then getting back on it, through the dark of winter. I am ready for summer. Although, I would like to see about getting my systems upstairs, piping cable up there, while also keeping the downstairs available.
I am impressed with how much has been done in a single week. It may be killing me, but if I can finish it, I would die happy. There are better causes to die for, but no other are available. And, I might just make it. I simply don't mind the risk. And I still think I will make it, probably. I have felt worse for no reason, for longer.
Arms and shoulders are painfully but roughly loosening. Still rather tight. Forearms are feeling it, but better. Even my hands hurt from gripping. They are lesser pains, as with many others, so just becoming noticeable as the other pains diminish. While I lose intensity of suffering, I gain volume. Now I understand the chills recently. Pain beyond full cognitive awareness will do that to me.
Still, pleased. Just being able to push that far is satisfying. To see things being done, even slowly, is absolutely fantastic. I am reclaiming my world. I think, in a month, I will have my home back, organized, ready. If not, in two months. Success, I am hoping, breeds success. Then, perhaps, starting on the spare bathroom.
Oh, dreamed, again, as yesterday. Chastity is difficult with such dreams. Women... rip up even a powerful will. A gift, they are. And a curse. And they damn well know it and enjoy it. Not sure why the thoughts of them crowd when I suffer so. A grace and a darkness, both, to be certain.
.
Sleep came much later. In part for the nap, in part for the pain. It feels as if my heart were being squeezed right in my chest, like a pitcher checking his grip or for flaws. Better this morning, should be ready by Monday. I couldn't stand, or really think, yesterday. I am hoping to do some very light work upstairs, and maybe just a bit else.
Beside sorting the last two boxes nearly completed before, I would like to tear down empty boxes upstairs. As well, wash those five to ten pieces I had set to soak, and take a shower. Shaving either yet today or tomorrow. If I have a bit more, perhaps folding a basket or two of laundry.
Nothing fancy, it won't be fast, I may not complete all, or any, of it. It is the plan and my intent. I really am getting things done, if working less than ten hours a week. Still, believe or else, that is more than I have been able to do in some time. Falling off medicine, then getting back on it, through the dark of winter. I am ready for summer. Although, I would like to see about getting my systems upstairs, piping cable up there, while also keeping the downstairs available.
I am impressed with how much has been done in a single week. It may be killing me, but if I can finish it, I would die happy. There are better causes to die for, but no other are available. And, I might just make it. I simply don't mind the risk. And I still think I will make it, probably. I have felt worse for no reason, for longer.
Arms and shoulders are painfully but roughly loosening. Still rather tight. Forearms are feeling it, but better. Even my hands hurt from gripping. They are lesser pains, as with many others, so just becoming noticeable as the other pains diminish. While I lose intensity of suffering, I gain volume. Now I understand the chills recently. Pain beyond full cognitive awareness will do that to me.
Still, pleased. Just being able to push that far is satisfying. To see things being done, even slowly, is absolutely fantastic. I am reclaiming my world. I think, in a month, I will have my home back, organized, ready. If not, in two months. Success, I am hoping, breeds success. Then, perhaps, starting on the spare bathroom.
Oh, dreamed, again, as yesterday. Chastity is difficult with such dreams. Women... rip up even a powerful will. A gift, they are. And a curse. And they damn well know it and enjoy it. Not sure why the thoughts of them crowd when I suffer so. A grace and a darkness, both, to be certain.
Friday, April 17, 2020
One of the most impressive naps.
.
.
A few dreams, none remembered. Though waking with a sense the last song might easily represent. And a feeling I was up all night. No, I'm in chastity mode. If that is sorely tested often. What happens when unconscious, literally, doesn't concern my will if that is usually abiding my will. As far as I know.
Still stiff and sore. My feet are still cold. But I am less tired. A bit less. Some of the exhaustion is a direct mechanical result from pushing an old, mostly dead, body. Some of that will require time to undo. With good sleep, food, medicine, and naps thrown.
Actually, I won't catch up. Not with shoving to get through housework and another project. I... have... things to do. I have marked the next few months as blotto pain, possibly to death. I wonder if I will get used to it, assuming it isn't lethal. Then again, my off and on years in college were sheer horror, trying to get to classes on time, be showered and dressed. Brutal. It never got easier through six years. Seven? But I wasn't on medicine, or keto... if that has slipped this last week.
I thought I had slept many, many hours. I thought I would be waking to very late afternoon, or even Saturday afternoon. I had to fight, what seemed like hours, to wake. Even trying several times to wake even enough to check the time, losing all save the last. Just a few minutes more than two hours for 'all' the sleep and 'all' the time trying to wake.
Well. So it goes. Later.
.
A few dreams, none remembered. Though waking with a sense the last song might easily represent. And a feeling I was up all night. No, I'm in chastity mode. If that is sorely tested often. What happens when unconscious, literally, doesn't concern my will if that is usually abiding my will. As far as I know.
Still stiff and sore. My feet are still cold. But I am less tired. A bit less. Some of the exhaustion is a direct mechanical result from pushing an old, mostly dead, body. Some of that will require time to undo. With good sleep, food, medicine, and naps thrown.
Actually, I won't catch up. Not with shoving to get through housework and another project. I... have... things to do. I have marked the next few months as blotto pain, possibly to death. I wonder if I will get used to it, assuming it isn't lethal. Then again, my off and on years in college were sheer horror, trying to get to classes on time, be showered and dressed. Brutal. It never got easier through six years. Seven? But I wasn't on medicine, or keto... if that has slipped this last week.
I thought I had slept many, many hours. I thought I would be waking to very late afternoon, or even Saturday afternoon. I had to fight, what seemed like hours, to wake. Even trying several times to wake even enough to check the time, losing all save the last. Just a few minutes more than two hours for 'all' the sleep and 'all' the time trying to wake.
Well. So it goes. Later.
Very tight, hard, harsh.
.
.
My body is tightening, as if having sparred with a focus on the torso. My arms and chest are as tight as if i have been working out. Actually everything from the waist up is that tight. It isn't just a sensation, the muscles are as concrete. Sore from it as well. My legs are worked, but to a much milder level.
For as little actual work as I have done, it is amazing. At one time it took working out very hard for three days during the week, every other day, to feel this terribly good. It isn't just muscless. My joints hurt, if in a right way. Oh, and I have definitely burned my face. That in spite of only working outside on fully cloudy days.
Oddly, this is causing me to get the chills. I finally gave up and turned the furnace up to 74°. I am still freezing. I have wool socks and heavy pj's on. I may have to nap. Crawl in under the warmest set of blankets I have. Ugh. Yes, a couple hours down, warm. I need it for more than warmth. Tired too. Very.
In spite of those things, I feel good. I like to work to this point, and more. I miss this. I hope to do a bit more work later. May not be possible. Later.
.
My body is tightening, as if having sparred with a focus on the torso. My arms and chest are as tight as if i have been working out. Actually everything from the waist up is that tight. It isn't just a sensation, the muscles are as concrete. Sore from it as well. My legs are worked, but to a much milder level.
For as little actual work as I have done, it is amazing. At one time it took working out very hard for three days during the week, every other day, to feel this terribly good. It isn't just muscless. My joints hurt, if in a right way. Oh, and I have definitely burned my face. That in spite of only working outside on fully cloudy days.
Oddly, this is causing me to get the chills. I finally gave up and turned the furnace up to 74°. I am still freezing. I have wool socks and heavy pj's on. I may have to nap. Crawl in under the warmest set of blankets I have. Ugh. Yes, a couple hours down, warm. I need it for more than warmth. Tired too. Very.
In spite of those things, I feel good. I like to work to this point, and more. I miss this. I hope to do a bit more work later. May not be possible. Later.
Thursday, April 16, 2020
Quite a day.
.
.
Everything planned except moving items to storage. But with the addition of other efforts. Some mild outdoor efforts as well. And a call to my mom. I think she was pleased for the call. She sounded tired. An occasional afternoon thing. Perhaps I caught her on an off moment. Still, it was good. I probably sounded more tired than she did.
I am ready for the weekend. I will use it as such. It won't be a complete end to effort, just a major reduction in work, plus naps more easily take if needed. Perhaps a load of dishes, folding portions of laundry, and finishing the boxes that weren't finished completely, upstairs. All on a slower clock. I am quite worn.
Being outside is sort of brutal on me. Still, I want that. If I can get going, early, perhaps hiking... very short easy runs, might be in the works. Hmm, may see about setting up the hammock, one of them, and enjoying outdoor naps? Perhaps overnighters. It sounds snazzy. I'd really like to give it a shot. That would really help acclimate me to the outdoors.
I am about to crash. Good night and blessings.
.
Everything planned except moving items to storage. But with the addition of other efforts. Some mild outdoor efforts as well. And a call to my mom. I think she was pleased for the call. She sounded tired. An occasional afternoon thing. Perhaps I caught her on an off moment. Still, it was good. I probably sounded more tired than she did.
I am ready for the weekend. I will use it as such. It won't be a complete end to effort, just a major reduction in work, plus naps more easily take if needed. Perhaps a load of dishes, folding portions of laundry, and finishing the boxes that weren't finished completely, upstairs. All on a slower clock. I am quite worn.
Being outside is sort of brutal on me. Still, I want that. If I can get going, early, perhaps hiking... very short easy runs, might be in the works. Hmm, may see about setting up the hammock, one of them, and enjoying outdoor naps? Perhaps overnighters. It sounds snazzy. I'd really like to give it a shot. That would really help acclimate me to the outdoors.
I am about to crash. Good night and blessings.
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