Off and awful.

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Sleep came much later.  In part for the nap, in part for the pain.  It feels as if my heart were being squeezed right in my chest, like a pitcher checking his grip or for flaws.  Better this morning, should be ready by Monday.  I couldn't stand, or really think, yesterday.  I am hoping to do some very light work upstairs, and maybe just a bit else.

Beside sorting the last two boxes nearly completed before, I would like to tear down empty boxes upstairs.  As well, wash those five to ten pieces I had set to soak, and take a shower.  Shaving either yet today or tomorrow.  If I have a bit more, perhaps folding a basket or two of laundry.

Nothing fancy, it won't be fast, I may not complete all, or any, of it.  It is the plan and my intent.  I really am getting things done, if working less than ten hours a week.  Still, believe or else, that is more than I have been able to do in some time.  Falling off medicine, then getting back on it, through the dark of winter.  I am ready for summer.  Although, I would like to see about getting my systems upstairs, piping cable up there, while also keeping the downstairs available.

I am impressed with how much has been done in a single week.  It may be killing me, but if I can finish it, I would die happy.  There are better causes to die for, but no other are available.  And, I might just make it.  I simply don't mind the risk.  And I still think I will make it, probably.  I have felt worse for no reason, for longer.

Arms and shoulders are painfully but roughly loosening.  Still rather tight.  Forearms are feeling it, but better.  Even my hands hurt from gripping.  They are lesser pains, as with many others, so just becoming noticeable as the other pains diminish.  While I lose intensity of suffering, I gain volume.  Now I understand the chills recently.  Pain beyond full cognitive awareness will do that to me.

Still, pleased.  Just being able to push that far is satisfying.  To see things being done, even slowly, is absolutely fantastic.  I am reclaiming my world.  I think, in a month, I will have my home back, organized, ready.  If not, in two months.  Success, I am hoping, breeds success.  Then, perhaps, starting on the spare bathroom.

Oh, dreamed, again, as yesterday.  Chastity is difficult with such dreams.  Women... rip up even a powerful will.  A gift, they are.  And a curse.  And they damn well know it and enjoy it.  Not sure why the thoughts of them crowd when I suffer so.  A grace and a darkness, both, to be certain.