Not a fantastic day, but I will take it.

No, friends, I did not cure a baffling and nearly inescapable form of cancer, I did not develop the next Nobel Prize winning scientific notion (as if that has any real meaning at this point, in any case), I did not even win a couple hundred million dollars. I am another day without tobacco. I did my homework, and did it fairly well considering I am just faking it, plus I went over and studied with the gentleman I studied with last term. We tried to figure some things out, or he did. I think he has a point, however, I do not think we understand well enough, the mathematics or the electronics, to try and combine calculus II and III with what we are doing, at this point for certain. Beyond, there is a far simpler and surer method. However, I do not want to lose the thread he started, either, as in real applications his method will work well, swiftly, and I believe much more eloquently (we are working on theoretical operations that probably will never be seen in work or real study). As well, earlier today I finally purchased an electronics kit. There are better ones, and if I finish this one and the labs within it, I may order a better one. I know a few good homes which would welcome this kit. I have already started playing with it, and purchased batteries and started up my old multi-meter as well, in order to add it to the learning mix.

I did not move fast or do a great deal today. I know I need to get cracking on my speech. I know I could push a little more in my studies. I know I need and want to get more information about ski rentals. Though I am not lazing completely, I did take today slowly. I will probably be slow to do too much until I get the hang of this class. Then these other things, along with a beginning study of statistics should begin as well. At least I feel more confident these days that these things are not just words. I will get to them, and probably much more. I am doing well, and I have found a capacity to follow up on my plans and expand and modify (more and more) as time goes on. I will not say I am well, I will say I have more potential to make it now than I ever have. The door really is open. I am excited, yet I will not sprint out and increase the risk of tripping. I will walk out of my prison. I will sit down from time to time to account for needs and wants to a small degree, and to be sure I have my heading and wits about me.

Tomorrow we will be having a long class. Usually we have an hour of lecture and then two hours of lab on Tuesdays. Our instructor believes we need to be advanced far enough in study that we may begin lab work, thus the extra class time. It will be a bit grueling though, 3 hours of any topic is enough to stretch the mind to boredom, even if care and capacity are in evidence. He seems like a straight shooter, and I enjoy his methods, and I am doing quite well, so I will just have to see.

Oh, I am still guilty of occasional flash-in-the-pan temper tantrums. I have noticed something odd, however. I think I have fewer of these in higher stress periods (like driving) than I used to, at this point in my regimen. I have also noticed it is much easier and quicker to get over them. I still want to gnaw on anything edible in several square miles around my general location. I realize I used to put chew in right after I ate, every time. So, since I do not have chew in, my body thinks it is still dinner time. I do have hard candy, but that does not help much. I am using a patch about every other day, just letting it wear out beyond use I believe. Eventually I hope to have my natural capacity to not take things on time to bring me to end even those. My study partner had 3 smokes tonight, though he steps out on his porch a bit. Still, it did not tempt me in the least. And, I finally gave him the lighter he had liked. He seemed reluctant to take it, I wonder if my conservativism is a significant issue for him, maybe his wife, perhaps both of them. Who knows. In any case, I am hoping to be done with this stupid addiction in a couple more weeks, a month at most.

So, like I said, nothing stellar, but I did not trip and break my neck. Oh, and I did pick up some more little goldfish friends for Rocky. The last crew seems to have found out why crawdads are best loved from afar. Tomorrow speeds my way, and I wish to do a few things before school, so off with my head… by pillow. Goodnight.