I have an appointment and I have a task for a friend, tomorrow. I had hoped to do a few things today, but no such luck. I awoke at a proper time considering when I went to sleep. I have been taking my medicine fairly well, and trying to brush my teeth more often (sort of trying to replace chewing with something other than eating… well, trying anyway). I tinkered on the kit for a bit, but nothing serious.
At least I am comfortable with the homework from class. And, honestly, because my physics is so weak, it is going to get harder very fast. But for today, I have managed to act like I knew what I was doing. Class is coming up shortly, I am ready. I will be going in a couple of hours early, first to spend about an hour reading and maybe rereading the old material if there is time, then spending some time in group study. Our instructor has suggested this. In spite of studying alone and with my old friend, I will probably partake in this every chance I get (as a plus, being on time for class is a lot less problematic).
I now have several resources regarding statistics. The woman I had asked for advice about study materials and a decent book did not give me enough information to comfortably place an order. I sent her an email again recently, but I have heard nothing back. There are about 30 books out their with the author’s names on them (two authors). Beyond that, I have been looking for the programs she suggested. I have only found one of them, but so far I have not found out if they have a student version. The other seems to be elusive. I see it talked about, or find a help book, and those are relatively current, but I cannot find the program’s home page, distributor, or author(s) page. I am in no great hurry, but it would be nice to get this settled in a reasonable time.
I cannot understand how I made it away from such strong suicidal notions. Neither did I transfer that to masochistic, sadistic, or homicidal urges. I did not fall for drugs, I did not become (more of) a sex addict. I should amend that, I am not a sex addict as such, I just have the drive of a Mack Truck. Meaning, I will not do anything and everything to have it but I will have it every chance I can, within some rather important (to some degree then, more so now, moral strictures, but certainly legal and ethical strictures). My interest is far more than any woman I have ever known can even think about dealing with. Still, I have managed with a single love, urhm, at any one time. Anyway, I did not go into that addiction. I did not find myself to prison, either. Really, if one has to fail, this has not been the worst of failures. I am not even, truly, poor, if lower in those measures than what my talents and natural forces would perhaps should generate. Sometimes, with just the right amount of salt and a perfect twist to the tongue in cheek, I can paint the thing so I look more like a caterwauling middle-class dramaticist, with nothing all that bad wrong with them or their world except that the sky is falling, and again, and then again, ad museum. It is not really so, but… Anyway, for being the type of cripple I am, I am grateful.
*poof*
Doing some serious contemplating of self today. It's good for you because I think it helps you realize how far you've come.
ReplyDeleteYour progress with the not-smoking is wonderful!
NO, ITS NOT! WHAHHHH!!!
ReplyDeleteWell, as you can plainly see, it is still on, or off, out, whatnot. *laughs* I really might have to figure out a way to hide for a while. I really have been extremely grumpy on the way to and back from school. Luckily, we have no real interaction in class.
My Momma always told me. She said, boy, you move so slow I have to line you up with the corner of a building to see if you really are moving. Well, that was my corner, and I suppose it means I am moving.
Sometimes hiding is good. A day or two in a different place with a different view. Old habits are even harder to break when the environment that harbored them does not (or cannot) change.
ReplyDelete'line you up with the corner'...... now, that.is.slowwwwww. Ha.
Ha! Told ya. It is a talent. It is such an odd thing, it probably will mean I will be dead several days before I am really dead. That is not such a good thing, always, but it is the way of it. Of course, I did finally meet, and apologize to, my birth mother. Thankfully, she held no grudges.
ReplyDeleteAt least my bull meter is good, I am certainly full of it. A few other things too, but that is enough for the nonce.