I cannot complain.

Before you think about it, yes, I completed setting up my exercises for next week and yesterday as I had planned. I have added 30-40% to my weight lifting. It will be a bit of a challenge, but… my world has changed. Being at the mercy of that water yet fighting back hard and heavy gained me access to that within which I had kept hidden. It seems that whatever I went through in the past, whatever harsh realities my mind keeps hidden, that knot of reality had decided that some significant reserves of my capabilities be kept on reserve for “serious situations”. Having come home, then lived in such a docile world here, those reserves were untouchable. With the changes in medication to even allow access, then the situation to call it forth, I may have, if not broken that barrier, opened the door or developed some type of path into God’s Country. I will have to push, but I want to not only open that door but eventually just remove the door and create a hallway into that land. I can see it now, now, I want it.

My friend emailed back with lots of information. I have some emails to send, some other contacts to make, an order to create, and some people to have face to face interviews with. This means I am opening the Church door, the academic door, and the physical door. Thankfully, everything takes time. And, I am working on my body now so that when these other facets begin coming into their own, I will be far more ready to handle the extra demand. I have become so much a believer in the physical aspect being the driver for the rest, however, that I am going to add another element to my life. I am going to begin capturing availabilities, costs, and schedules for local swimming, weight lifting, physical activities, and other such knowledge and offer it to the V.A. Vocational Rehabilitation officers (and possibly the University’s disability services) and offering to be a point man in helping people get in and get it done. I cannot really be a permanent trainer for people, but I would like to help them figure out from point A to point B, and perhaps help them by “holding their hand” through their first attempts at this for encouragement, locality guidance, and assurance that they are doing fine and can do this. That would have helped me a lot, a long time ago. Sure, I have come this far on my own, but it was a lot harder and longer this way. Heck, you never know. Perhaps one of my people might end up being my best work-out mates (or rich and grateful:p).

Today is Church day. And I really want to be there because I do not want to “have to” be up early tomorrow. As well, there is the chance I will not be able to get up early tomorrow. Though I have been making the 6:00 swims, and plan to continue doing so, it has been difficult, and I am doing it in a bass ackward way, in that I have been staying up to make sure I get there rather than just getting up earlier. Blah! Bah! And Fooey, I do believe.

Oh, to you knew guy… Never worry about my responses. Even if I seem to spitter, sputter, or spatter, I do not really get riled. I do like checking the nature of what seems an assault, but… Meh, I have had worse almost no matter. I just like to know what the purpose is. And, though I jab and parry, it is just for fun. If I hurt your feelings, and you started it, deal with it. If I hurt your feelings all on my own, just remember… critical thinking. *laughs*

Oh, about food. I remembered yesterday, whilst speaking with the Dread Queen about food that I had talked to my nurse about food before I went on vacation. She suggested I arrange an appointment with the dietician at the V.A. She suggested that I could get a really good heads up about nutrition and could possibly make a fresh dietary start there. I am definitely eating less, and the quality has picked up (for the most part) recently, but I am still quite off. For example, though I do not eat those sugary kid’s cereals, I had thought Cheereos and Corn Flakes would be good. The Dread Queen read the contents, and yeah, ok… cardboard with sugar, more or less. I told you she was sometimes correct. Well, then, what to eat? Affordability and preparation, cooking, cleaning after all demand large quantities of time, and if I really eat right and eat 5 to 6 small meals a day, that time adds up very fast. Anyway, that is out there now too.

There is enough to think about for a bit. Be good, eat well, avoid stray (or especially not) bullets, and think about God, your place in life, and how much you really have, even if you too are a poor cripple.