A sensation.

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Sensations are what they are. Often they come to naught. They may be caused by things we know, such as having eaten too much of the wrong thing or due to a chill in the air. Frequently they are expressions of our own self as we are at a moment juxtaposed into our world without there being any underlying worldly cause. Sometimes they really are truly precognitions. One can never be certain about these things, especially as one becomes familiar with the fact that we are fallible, superstitious, emotional beings. And yet, this nature of ours creates notions which just cannot be shaken. Why so many words about a topic? Let me tell you.

Today as I was heading to my first class, something happened. I was early so that my walk was leisurely, or as relaxed as I allow my walks to be. I was walking between classes so that there were few other pedestrians, fewer still due to the overcast odd nature of the day. In spite of it being a mechanically depressing day by the nature of the weather, I had no melancholy moment. As I walked, nearing my destination, something came to me. I sensed a major event. An event which will overshadow all things we now consider. A change which will make the financial market trouble, the election cycle, and all other considerations fade into the background. I cannot say if this is a good thing or a bad thing, only that today was the day.

Try as I might, I am not able to dig deeper or look closer. My feeling was just that, if powerful beyond my previous understanding. I have searched the news and blogs for any hints. I have thought the thing through. There is nothing showing itself, and yet I cannot shake this. Perhaps China, now that it has oil reserves to rival US and European reserves, is about to begin a campaign. Taiwan, Europe, and then a land war with India to cull their excess male populations (both nations). Who knows, maybe Christ was born again this day. The sensation is that type of big. Either I just realized something bigger than anything known in recent times or I should watch what I eat, and when, more closely. Never worry, remember, I am a touch paranoid among other things.

Oh, something else interesting happened today. While I was out getting a meal, I saw a women I had seen before. For some reason, this woman is rather attractive to me. I think I am interesting to her as well. Beyond that I know nothing about her and probably never will. She is attractive but it was more than that. All things being equal, I sense she could be the woman I could abide. She is simple without being dim, gracious, and thoughtful. I can imagine just being with her in life, outside of the bedroom. I feel I can safely assume the bedroom issue would be fine as well. Though I must admit, when I meet a woman like this, I never more than think to notice if there is that spark necessary for me to ponder the prospect. Actually and further, I avoid considering women in a sexual manner at all. Thinking such thoughts about a woman seems to be an invasion of both her dignity and of any future eventualities, odd as that may sound to some. That belief is compounded when the woman is both natively and physically attractive to me. I suppose I try to defend a ladies honor, even from my own lusts. I only mention this to note that I really do see there really might be a woman out there, still, for me. I suppose I am sharing, vicariously, a little hope.

In times of doubt, hope is more valuable than gold, more vital than any tool, and from which any growth or rebirth may begin. In good times, hope still holds a place in allaying doubts and fears. It is the only real seed man may ever need and without which man has become animal. It is the only seed worth planting, if it is planted in honesty and good faith. It is so powerful, not even deceivers are able to vulgarize it without losing their aim, missing their targets. Call on it, if you are dark, at your peril. Live it, if you find your roots in wisdom, and be free to dare. It is the beginnings, as myth might have it, of earning your wings.