Well, it is as I thought.

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Something worked, after not having been used for a month or so, for about a day. Today, again, I slept through it. I have decided to place a call to my case manager and ask if there is a medical provider she could recommend. I may also call some people in the Church, and see if one of the people I trust knows of a medical provider. No, I guess I am not looking for a medical provider, I am looking for a doctor with a professional pair, brass pair preferable. I do not know how I can afford it, but that is what I have to do. Maybe the V.A. will fall in line with some actual, you know, free market competition. I am not counting on that but I will not completely discount an about face if it happens. I will, at least, sniff any change in that wind and see if it is still foul or has become friend. There goes my savings, as I will also be paying for medicine. What good is wealth without health, but it is a bit disappointing when “free” medical care I paid for with my brokenness does not pan out. This is not supposed to be a charity health care, it was supposed to be a kindness for my duty losses, a bit of repayment. I suppose with doctors being indoctrinated into leftism, I cannot expect much from them in repaying a baby-killer or whatever the left’s term for us is these days. And yeah, that attitude is pervasive in the V.A., here anyway.

I have been able to drag my tired butt through each section of the physics to be tested. But I need to get through it at least one more time, and write out the formulas and some of the ideas. I only have a few functional hours each day, however, and that is with something as a helper, as weak a helper as it has obviously become. I have no control of my sleep, sleeping 14 or more hours at a time and needing naps between my awake hours, which are mostly dysfunctional for anything like study. You know, I could get a bit angry about this. Yeah, but it is not going to solve a thing. I must just do what I can, how I can, and figure things out. I am not a quitter, I would be dead by now if I was. But I pout as well as any. And I am one of the best big babies I know. Of course, and do not worry, I live in a population which is stellar in the big baby business. So do not worry, I am not attempting to tread on your territory. :p

As for yesterday, I had just awaken from two days of uncontrolled sleep. Pardon my doubts. Now, get out of the way... slowly. I am still crawling so your speed of clearing the path is not essential should you happen to be in the way.