Finally!

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I think I am over whatever was plaguing me. I was able to eat twice without the special effects, my fever and such have abated completely, and my stomach feels mostly healthy again. Of course, now I cannot get my place to warm above 66 F. It has made waking up much more difficult. I like it 66 F or cooler for sleeping, but I have the programmable thermostat set to warm the cave as I try to awaken. I have found that, generally, it helps. Everything that helps, when one is diseased with unnatural exhaustion, is used. I have been too sick to deal with the landlord so that is on my list of things to do. Still, everything else is working fine, and now that I am well and the medicine is still working, I will deal with this too.

I have been going through things, beginning my sorting and throwing. I have a lot of junk mixed in with my stuff. I try this, or am given that, and it just sits. I use so little of what I have it is ridiculous. Then again, some of the things I do not use often I enjoy having. My collection of fountain pens for example. I used to use them to take notes. I no longer do that for no other reason than that as school started this year, I was busy falling into extreme exhaustion and did not set up my standard lot. I will begin using them exclusively in the new future, for whatever reason I have need of pen and ink. Though some of them are rarely used. Not that they are extremely expensive, unless you compare them to a BIC or something. Many things, though, will go. I will probably even give away my big high-def tv. It is large, though not flat-screen. It is far better than what a friend has, and she has enjoyed using it here while mentioning her marvel at the thing (which I barely notice). I will be glad to be rid of the thing anyway. TV is trash, good movies are rare or I have seen them too many times, and she would appreciate it. Hmmm, she got my old TV too, lucky dame. She will get much of what I am giving.

She recommended a sale, but I do not wish to allow people to trample through my cave, essentially stealing my goods then trying to bargain even that down. I do not care for nor need the aggravation for at most a few hundred dollars. The Church, Goodwill, or some such will be happy to receive some items and clothing, I am quite sure. I am quite nervous about how to get rid of enough to travel well and easily without cutting myself too thin. There is more than just living, there is a bit of myself in some of that, my style, tastes, and some luxury of existence. As usual, some balance is necessary.

I did make it in to see my professor today. Though I could not get through the homework after, as I had thought, and in part due to my later arrival due to the temperature thing, I did get much of it down and found my difficulty. Using the Z-tables can be tricky, and I became rusty. I was doing the work just fine, I just could not use the table correctly (which I still need to work on). I am a bit embarrassed. The material is easier, if not easy. I have a physics test Wednesday, and I am a bit nervous. We have covered a lot of material. The material is a bit more complex then before. I will need to put in some work on all of it this weekend.

Bit by bit, I am working my way through school and my other plans. Though life has not been easy, it will not suddenly become easier just because I am not in school. Further, if I do not push, I will become a permanent invalid. I am not sure I have that in me, so either I will have to dig deeper somehow or I will need to put myself in a position or under the influence of someone or something that can dig deeper. There are risks there, I see them plainly. I do well under pressure and I am a survivor. The thing is, can my survivor instinct overcome my disability? Can I put myself into that situation in the first place? Then again, if I am out and about and freeze to death because I really am too ill, so long as I do not quit, I think I will be good with that.

Oh, did I mention, I plan on starting one new hobby. I have been looking into black and white photography, viewing cameras, and discussing darkroom construction. I think it could give me a great deal of pleasure, a new way and reason to look around me a bit, and a great reason to be outdoors. As well, it would offer me an artistic opportunity, one that has otherwise not appeared for me to this point. Though it is an expense while I am trying to cut costs and looking at other expenses, it has been on my mind for a long time. Anyway…