Dreams… And other stuff.

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Many dreams, all over the place. I can still only sleep 4-6 hours at a time and I can only stay up about the same. I really think it is the number or intensity, maybe both of those aspects, of my dreams. I kill people, I save some, and I get the hurts that come with it. Those hurts carry right on in to real life. It is brutal. My ribs hurt. My legs and arms are muscularly sore. And I can do nothing to change them. They come and go. I suspect they are part of the reason I am so exhausted. It happened even when I was working out, when the meds worked, and when everything is going well. I am tight, hard, and mean, physically, at least or perhaps in spite of the condition I am in. I was made for war, this stuff just helps keep me ready, give or take.

I was talking to an Irish friend this evening. Some things, many things, he just does not understand. That we devalued our dollar so as to crush China’s (and Iran’s) economic hold on us, only became functional visible to him after a little discussion. He does not understand that war is not always waged on battle fields. He does not understand that Iraq was only a minor aspect of the combat we have been waging. Nor does he, even now, understand the importance of that, if minor, act. He is a typical Euro, against America and almost anything (except Obama’s election) we do. I asked him if he would approve a communist muslim coming to his lead office. He said it would never happen. I said, once the world bowed to socialism, a world order socialism, they would shove the same crap onto his plate that they have shoved onto mine, he did not like it. We will see. Now that we have fallen, they will do whatever they want, worldwide. Most of it will be repulsive to most people.

After five days of the furnace and air conditioning not responding to the thermostat, I had finally had enough. I called my landlord Saturday. He made a call and had someone in this morning at 9:15. It was the same man who has been trying to deal with this difficulty for a while now. He decided to change out the control board, as he has seen this before and the same fix worked there too. I hope it works as temperature control is vital. I also discussed the fact that my water bill has tripled since last year, before the leak. The neighbors, I think, are the problem. My increase began when they moved in. With 4 people living there, they are only using (according to the water department) 27% more water than I am. I am being robbed, somehow. It will be my landlord’s problem when I move. He knows what the problem is, I can tell by his query to the waterworks. Socialism sucks, it is robbery, taking without asking, without consequence, and without recourse.

For sure, I will never move into an apartment or a duplex again. I have been looking for a single home, in a general area, and am having trouble finding what I want in the price range I would like. I briefly considered moving in with my mother, and then tossed that out immediately. She would kill me in six months. I do not mind dying, but I have parameters. I will not deal with the irrationalism of a mean woman, that will not be the death of me. A wife I will handle, mothers are not so easily handled. Especially on her grounds.

Oh, I was able to find an AK that I liked and in my price range. The seller has a number of them. If I like what I see, I might buy a second, depending on money. I would also like to buy another XD Tactical .45 acp. But money has become tight with the move and the Xterra financing problem. I am being a bit cavalier financially, with this purchase, as it is. But darn it, a man has to have what a man should have. I saw a S&W .500 mag, if in the 4” version, for $750. It about kills me that I cannot buy it. But, I cannot. Not… yet. Too much, too fast, too far, too short. Someday, sooner than late, but after a computer ($3k to $4k). Drats… To win the lottery! Bah, I do not play children’s games. Urhm, you do not happen to have a spare top of the line machine sitting in your back pocket, do you? Did not think so. :P