While I decide.

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I have been visiting some excellent blogs recently. Some of the new ones have made the cut, some old blogs have gone away. I think I became not so welcome and so I have let some pass. It is never a happy thing, but sometimes blog relationships end. Perhaps they merely have their sites for Vox friends and family, perhaps my disbelief in Ron Paul was the deal. For my part, they are still friends. I wish them all health and happiness. Many of those added, it seems, are rather libertarian. And yet, they seem open to conservatives. And, we have many similar doubts, fears, and concerns.

I understand I am a bit far afield, politically and religiously. The world has become secularized, nearly completely, right into the Church at times. I know. And politics has become both secular and elitist. I understand. And, though I hold myself apart, I do not do so in such a manner that I will become a crazed troublemaker. I have simply turned my back on much of the ills of the world and the world itself. Though I am armed, I understand that my only real protection is God. I must sleep, so become vulnerable. I am only one. And I am ill, old, and tired. In God's hands I must rely, and do so happily anyway.

So, I will simply walk softly, avoiding what of evil that I may, being kind to all but those who are a literal threat. I wish I could go out and help conquer evil peaceably and that I had brothers and sisters I could depend upon for mutual assistance. But I feel quite alone, at least where I live now. And, I feel overwhelmed by the evil that is around me. It is everywhere, strong, defiant, proud, and quite loud. Perhaps there is a place where it is still considered a shame and held in check a bit by that. Who knows.

I am simply too tired, and perhaps ill, to do more. It is difficult, at times, to even eat. I am going to have to just decide to eat or I will have a difficult move. I am just holding my breath, here, hoping to find a quiet place. So tired, so weak, so old. I just pray I can find a quiet place to, if it is my time, die. Or to find a place to regain my strength to go on and find a way to do what chores my Father has in store for me.

Amen.